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King Kong Lives (1986) reviews from people you don't follow
Ape Sh*t
Inexplicably boring and frankly quite weird attempt to cash in on the Kong name: having survived being machine gunned off the top of the Twin Towers and falling five hundred metres onto concrete (and thus proving that some gorillas just can't take a hint), Kong is in a coma being looked after by Linda Hamilton, who should have read the script before signing on. A no-mark leading man is able to hunt up a female giant gorilla to help out with a blood transfusion, but when the two apes get it on and escape, there's panic all round.
History has seen many overly optimistic monster movies, but few quite as out-of-touch with reality as King Kong Lives. It's not just that the story is preposterous (it is), or that the special effects are terrible (they are), but that one of main emotional relationships at the heart of the story is realised through the medium of two stuntmen in not-great gorilla suits nuzzling up to each other in simulation of simian romance. Your mind rebels when it is exposed to this stuff. 'No,' comes the interior monologue, 'no. Even the big bird in The Giant Claw was more convincing than this. I object. I am on strike from this point on.' With your suspension of disbelief in full revolt, you are forced to watch the rest of the movie simply in 'how much worse can this possibly get?' mode. And the answer is: considerably. To be honest it's only the sheer badness of the movie that keeps it interesting; anything remotely competent is also rather dull. I don't think the 1976 version of King Kong is nearly as bad as most people say; it certainly looks like a classic compared to this.
History has seen many overly optimistic monster movies, but few quite as out-of-touch with reality as King Kong Lives. It's not just that the story is preposterous (it is), or that the special effects are terrible (they are), but that one of main emotional relationships at the heart of the story is realised through the medium of two stuntmen in not-great gorilla suits nuzzling up to each other in simulation of simian romance. Your mind rebels when it is exposed to this stuff. 'No,' comes the interior monologue, 'no. Even the big bird in The Giant Claw was more convincing than this. I object. I am on strike from this point on.' With your suspension of disbelief in full revolt, you are forced to watch the rest of the movie simply in 'how much worse can this possibly get?' mode. And the answer is: considerably. To be honest it's only the sheer badness of the movie that keeps it interesting; anything remotely competent is also rather dull. I don't think the 1976 version of King Kong is nearly as bad as most people say; it certainly looks like a classic compared to this.
If Only King Kong Had Died
Contains spoilers, click to show
Just when you thought King Kong died when he was shot off the Empire State Building he is resurrected courtesy of open heart surgery conducted by Linda Hamilton. However, he is still going to die unless he receives a blood transfusion. Fortunately, Lady Kong is discovered in Borneo. Job done? Of course not. These films are terrible adverts for the human race as the sole reaction to discovering such beautiful beasts such as Mr and Mrs Kong is to try and kill them with a barrage of absolutely terrible special effects.
Only someone with a heart of ice would fail to be moved when Kong picks up the missus and carries her out of the holding facility a la An Officer and a Gentleman. I don't know why the producers didn't go for an outsize Marine Airman's formal attire and throw in the strains of Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes - only they will be able to tell you why they didn't.
This will be quite possibly the most enjoyable bad movie you will ever see. Ultimately, like with all the Kong movies it is tinged with sadness as we all know what happens to the big fella in the end - open heart surgery and blood transfusions not withstanding of course. Don't be surprised if you hear the patter of really massive feet at the end in what is an unintentionally hilarious yet genuinely uplifting finale.
Only someone with a heart of ice would fail to be moved when Kong picks up the missus and carries her out of the holding facility a la An Officer and a Gentleman. I don't know why the producers didn't go for an outsize Marine Airman's formal attire and throw in the strains of Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes - only they will be able to tell you why they didn't.
This will be quite possibly the most enjoyable bad movie you will ever see. Ultimately, like with all the Kong movies it is tinged with sadness as we all know what happens to the big fella in the end - open heart surgery and blood transfusions not withstanding of course. Don't be surprised if you hear the patter of really massive feet at the end in what is an unintentionally hilarious yet genuinely uplifting finale.