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My Dark Vanessa

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My Dark Vanessa

2020 | Contemporary | Fiction & Poetry

An era-defining novel about the relationship between a fifteen-year-old girl and her teacher

ALL HE DID WAS FALL IN LOVE WITH ME AND THE WORLD TURNED HIM INTO A MONSTER

Vanessa Wye was fifteen-years-old when she first had sex with her English teacher.

She is now thirty-two and in the storm of allegations against powerful men in 2017, the teacher, Jacob Strane, has just been accused of sexual abuse by another former student.

Vanessa is horrified by this news, because she is quite certain that the relationship she had with Strane wasn't abuse. It was love. She's sure of that.

Forced to rethink her past, to revisit everything that happened, Vanessa has to redefine the great love story of her life – her great sexual awakening – as rape. Now she must deal with the possibility that she might be a victim, and just one of many.

Nuanced, uncomfortable, bold and powerful, My Dark Vanessa goes straight to the heart of some of the most complex issues our age.

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Kate Elizabeth Russell
Published by William Morrow
Edition Hardcover
ISBN 9780062941503
Language English
Trigger Warning! Child Abuse Coercion

Main Image Courtesy: Goodreads.
Images And Data Courtesy Of: William Morrow.
This content (including text, images, videos and other media) is published and used in accordance with Fair Use.

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Added this item on Feb 4, 2020

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AT (1676 KP) rated

Mar 31, 2020  
My Dark Vanessa
My Dark Vanessa
Kate Elizabeth Russell | 2020 | Contemporary, Fiction & Poetry
9
9.6 (5 Ratings)
Book Rating
Obviously, this is a difficult subject to read about. However, it was told in the girl's point of view, and it really brought to light how she comprehended the situation, even when she was being abused. I liked the fact that there were opposing sides in this situation represented in the story, without dragging either side through the mud. I also really appreciated the fact that the author didn't do a sudden turn ending, like saying it was a dream or something. I can't stand that. She held true to the actual story all the way through the novel. It's a story about a young woman that had a sexual affair with her teacher when she was 15, however, the things that happened, emotionally, are relatable to many other types of poisonous relationships. Not just a man with a minor. I appreciated all of that, because it was much easier to be inside the story that way. As difficult as the subject matter was, it is a smooth read, and if you've ever been in any sort of toxic relationship like this, you might be able to relate to a lot of the feelings. Even if you haven't, it's worth reading! It's a well-crafted story about a taboo subject.
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ClareR (5822 KP) rated

Feb 9, 2020  
My Dark Vanessa
My Dark Vanessa
Kate Elizabeth Russell | 2020 | Contemporary, Fiction & Poetry
10
9.6 (5 Ratings)
Book Rating
As soon as I started reading My Dark Vanessa, I questioned why I had chosen to read it. It’s a subject that I’d usually not even attempt to read as I find it too upsetting, but I’d heard such good things about it, and I was curious. And boy am I glad I read it. It’s an uncomfortable read though.

An insecure, lonely 15 year old is groomed by her much older teacher, Jacob Strane, and she is led to believe that it’s all on her own terms. She is in control. There are parts of this book that really distressed me, and I had to put the book down. However, I really felt for the main character, Vanessa. Even as a 35 year old woman, her life is still dictated by her relationship with Strane. These scenes where she is older, in a boring job, living in a tiny apartment and drinking too much, really made me see how Strane had ruined her life. She refuses to see it, however. Even when she is seeing a counsellor about the death of her father, she still sees no link between her feelings for Strane and how he affected her life before the death of her father. And when former female students blow the whistle on his abuse, Vanessa refuses to get involved. Strane tells her they’re lying, that they’re fantasists - and she believes him. He continues to control her for years after their sexual relationship ends.

I think the way that the narrative swapped between present day and the past, showing us how the ‘relationship’ developed, made it all the more stark. Everyone, including the reader, can see the abuse. Everyone except Vanessa. I don’t know what the laws about the age of consent are like in the USA, but I’m pretty certain that if he’d been found out in the UK, he would never have taught again. But of course I could be wrong.

For me, the end was a relief. I was glad I’d made it through - it was traumatic for me as a reader.

I’ve given this 5 stars, but I wouldn’t qualify this 5/5 with an “I loved it!” like I often do with my top marked books. I do think that this is an important book though, and to be perfectly honest, it’s beautifully written.

Many thanks to HarperCollins 4th Estate and NetGalley for my copy of this book to read and review.
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Kristy H (1252 KP) rated

Mar 19, 2020  
My Dark Vanessa
My Dark Vanessa
Kate Elizabeth Russell | 2020 | Contemporary, Fiction & Poetry
10
9.6 (5 Ratings)
Book Rating
At fifteen, the very bright Vanessa Wye earns a scholarship position to boarding school. It's the year 2000. There she meets Jacob Strane, her English teacher, who is forty-two-years-old. Soon the two are involved in a powerful relationship--and one that quickly turns sexual. Seventeen years later, Vanessa is working as a concierge at a hotel, just another in a series of dead-end jobs. She hasn't had any real serious relationships. And now, Jacob Strane, has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, Taylor Birch. Taylor tracks down Vanessa, wanting her to share her story, too. But Vanessa doesn't feel she was abused by Strane. In fact, her entire life is framed by her love story with Strane. As Taylor Birch's story gains traction in the press, Vanessa must confront her past and what it means to her.


"'I'm going to ruin you.' He says it with obvious torment, a glimpse into how much he's thought about it, wrestled with it."


This book...wow. I was absolutely captivated by Vanessa's story. She tells her tale in two parts: her adolescence, as she meets Jacob Strane at school and they begin their relationship; and then the present, as Taylor Birch's story hits the press and Vanessa must deal with the fact that her love for Jacob Strane is being portrayed as abuse and assault.


"It's strange to know that whenever I remember myself at fifteen, I'll think of this."


For a book with such dark subject matter, it's really beautiful. Russell is a wonderful writer, and this story unfolds almost lyrically. It's so well-done and completely mesmerizing. The sections featuring young Vanessa capture that early adolescent yearning and longing so perfectly--that deep desire to feel needed and wanted. To Vanessa, this is a love story, a romantic tale of a man needing and loving her. She blocks out and overlooks the parts of the story that don't fit. Understanding that some victims don't see abuse as abuse is key to the story, and Russell portrays the dynamic between Strane and Vanessa so well.


"'It's just my luck,' he said, 'that when I finally find my soul mate, she's fifteen years old.'"


As a result, we get a very thoughtful look at abuse, rape, and assault. And, yes, the sections of older Vanessa's story touch across the #metoo movement, as Taylor Birch and others want so desperately for Vanessa to join their side, to share her story. For them or for Vanessa, it's hard to say. This book is so dark, yet so insightful. Vanessa's inner struggle--basically she's having to re-look at the entire foundation upon which her life is built--is one of the most profoundly written and moving journeys I've seen in literature in quite some time. It's not easy to read about, certainly, and it's not always easy to understand her actions, of course. The story can make you uncomfortable; it can feel problematic. But it's an important read, and it's so beautifully and poetically written. I highly recommend it (taking into account the obvious trigger warnings, of course). 4.5+ stars.
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saheffernan (157 KP) rated

May 9, 2020  
My Dark Vanessa
My Dark Vanessa
Kate Elizabeth Russell | 2020 | Contemporary, Fiction & Poetry
9
9.6 (5 Ratings)
Book Rating
For a debut novel this contains fantastic writing. How I imagine one might act suffering such abuse by someone of authority, who was to teach and have you grow. At 15 Vanessa believes this to be a real first love, then as she matures she finds all the things left broken by it. It makes her seem questionable in some spaces in the book where you just want to shake her I do think it's fair to say that there are people out there that suffered to have to turn it into something else so that everything isn't ruined. That's what this book does so well shows the struggle of realization.