Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert.
Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she’s worked so hard to avoid.
Her dad has signed her up for sixty days of treatment. But what no one knows is that Stevie doesn't plan to stay that long. There are only twenty-seven days until the anniversary of her brother Josh’s death—the death she caused. And if Stevie gets her way, there are only twenty-seven days until she too will end her life. (less)
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Death is not an exact science, which is irritating for those of us who appreciate precision.
While I’ve had my own experiences with purging after eating, or just trying to avoid food at all, not everybody is the same. It’s hard to read something about this, much less watch someone go through what is, to me, torture. I’m not going to lie, I kept getting this book and another book kind of mixed up because the main characters in both books are named Stevie. This wasn’t a terrible book, but I’m left with mixed feelings in the end.
Stephanie ‘Stevie’ is signed in (kind of forced) to a rehab facility by her father. Since she is seventeen, she cannot sign herself out. Stevie, while according to the doctors, is not heavily underweight, she is diagnosed with bulimia nervosa (and this actually pisses her off, and not because it’s not true). She is assigned to Anna, one of the therapists on staff (whom she refers to as Shrink most of the book) and a treatment team of different specialists.
This place is something else. The author stated in her Afterward that this is just pure work of fiction, not from personal experience. Do places like this exist? Does a place that thinks that by helping girls get over eating disorders is to have them do some sort of group where they must pick a food and eat it?
My body is both weapon, wound, predator and prey. I will self-destruct without any help.
While I can see how one group therapy can be helpful but having these girls (yes all girls) where they learn, well some learn, to cook something. Cooking is an art, even if you don’t really know how to, or not good at it, so cooking is good therapy.
I was highly mixed with this book. I saw that some other reviewers either really enjoyed it or really did not.
Stevie is typical. She’s frustrated and angry that she has to be there, and it messes up her ‘plans’ for her brother’s death anniversary. You find out that she was actually planning on killing herself (by starving herself apparently) on the day of his death so she could be with him. Her mother abandoned them and come to find she is PAYING for the rehab place, but she NEVER makes a present appearance, just flash back.
I am not overly fond of Stevie’s therapist, Anna (Shrink to Stevie). To me, she is almost molded like how people make fun of therapists. ‘How are you feeling?’ ‘How does that make you feel?’ ‘How do you feel about that?’ I work with a therapist, so I understand the point is not to be bottled up, but I feel like Anna is more stereotypical, than helpful. She does, eventually, get Stevie to open up about her brother’s death and why she chose not to eat, but even I got frustrated during her sessions.
Stevie has a few roommates in her cottage. I liked Ashley the most, but her life really messed her up and it takes a while for Stevie to really get out of her head and have a friend in Ashley.
I think there is some things you shouldn’t accept. And living sick is one of those things.
I need that on a shirt as well.
The ending left me kind of unsatisfied. Stevie did have some personal growth by talking more about her brother’s death and the toxic relationship she had with a girl named Eden, but the book ended rather oddly. I won’t say how it ended, but to me, I didn’t go into a book hangover, nor did I feel the need to throw my ereader (or in this case my laptop) across the room frustration (no way, this thing was expensive!!).
I’m not sure on the accuracy of this kind of rehab, but to me, it felt a little off. I won’t say this is not a good book to read, but it is highly triggering. There are talks of eating disorders and self harm, so proceed with caution if it peaked your curiosity enough.
There aren't enough books about such serious and common topics like this. I'm not going to lie, I found this rather hard to read due to how it brought back so many personal memories for me. I should warn any potential readers that this book includes a log of negative language about body image, mentions of self-harm and suicide, and a lot about eating disorders and behaviours.
Stevie, a 17-year-old girl who's mother left and brother died, has her self-destruction plans halted when her father sends her to an eating disorder treatment centre. This book follows her through a twenty-seven day period of pain and conflicting thoughts and emotions.
Throughout Stevie's time at the treatment centre, the reader is told about her life through little snippets here and there. We learn about her behaviours and thoughts as her eating disorder developed, about the day her mother left, and the time around her brother's death.
Stevie is carrying so much guilt and pain, and all she wants is to disappear on the anniversary of the accident. But her shrink, Anna, is desperate to help her live her life.
This book is so accurately written. The things Stevie thinks and does often reflect myself and people I've known while really struggling with eating disorders. The daunting prospect of recovery looms over her, making her unsure of what her goal really is. She was so sure she wanted to die... But now she's met Ashley, and Anna, and rethought her plan. What once seemed so simple and obvious, Stevie is no longer sure she wants.
Paperweight is so emotional, accurately telling the story of Stevie's personal experiences with an eating disorder as well as her struggles after her mother moved away and her brother was killed. It combats so many topics that I've rarely seen in other books, and is just so greatly written... I love it. 5 stars!
Meg Haston
(Author)
