The World According to Trump: Humble Words from the Man Who Would be King, President, Ruler of the World

2016 | Humor & Comedy

"I don't put on any airs," Donald J Trump once told a journalist, from behind his "100% mahogany" desk. Half the size of a squash court, and brightened up with a stuffed bald eagle, his desk sits amid shelves full of golf trophies and dozens of "important awards" with framed magazine covers all over the walls (no prizes for guessing who's on them). Ever since he burst onto the scene, after all, in a blaze of blondes, boasts and stunningly bad hair, the real estate mogul has also given us the Trump World Tower and the Trump Castle. Plus Trump Palace, and a few Trump Hotels. Then there's the Trump Regency and the various Trump Taj Mahals, together with Trump Park Avenue and several Trump Plazas. Americans can also dress like Donald, courtesy of the Donald J Trump Signature Collection, or smell like him, thanks to Donald Trump: The Fragrance. And for just a few more dollars, they can think like him too. On the shelves at the Trump Store, there sit no less than 17 "personally written" books by Donald Trump on the subject of Trump.

And then there is Donald's latest volume, Crippled America, boasting a 16-page "About the Author" section, which is all about what he plans to do once he lives in the White House...Whether "President Trump" ever becomes a reality is not really the question, but just how he got so far is. Perhaps the answer is in this modest tome, The World According to Trump which contains the decidedly immodest words of Donald Trump wisdom and will reveal all you ever wanted to know about the man, and probably a great deal more. Contains quotes from Donald Trump on: The Life of Trump "I was always very much accepted by my father. He adored Donald Trump." "When I look at myself in the first grade and I look at myself now, I'm basically the same. The temperament is not that different." * This has a ring of truth. "Donald was the child who would throw the cake at the birthday parties," his brother Robert once said. Trump on Trump "I win, I win, I always win. In the end, I always win. Whether it's in golf, whether it's in tennis, whether it's in life, I just always win."

Trump on Women "I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful." "All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected." Trump on Race "The US has become a dumping ground for everybody else's problems ...When Mexico sends its people, they're not sending their best. They're sending people that have lots of problems ...they're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime. They're rapists. And some, I assume, are good people." * On the need for a 3200km wall between the US and Mexico. Trump on Family "She does have a very nice figure. I've said if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her." "I want five children, like in my own family, because with five, then I will know that one will be guaranteed to turn out like me." Trump on Life "Show me someone without an ego, and I'll show you a loser." "If somebody hits you, hit back 10 times harder" Trump on Losers "If Hilary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?" * A tweet Donald quickly deleted - but not quite quickly enough

Oslo Davis (Author)