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The Meg (2018)
The Meg (2018)
2018 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Jurassic Shark
Ah the shark attack movie. A genre that has over the years changed itself from impactful horror suspense thriller to cheesy, throwaway popcorn entertainment. Apart from when Steven Spielberg changed cinema forever with his 1975 masterpiece, Jaws, audiences have been given few treats in the decades that followed.

Deep Blue Sea was a tasteful homage to its forbearer, but even that was riddled in cliché and was much more of a brain-numbing creature feature than Jaws was. And then came Sharknado and its raft of dreadfully titled sequels. Look back through cinema history and you’ll see that sharks are big business in Hollywood.

Now, as we enter the final stages of 2018, Jason Statham stars in perhaps the most preposterous shark movie yet, yes, even more preposterous than Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! But sometimes preposterous can be fun. Is that the case here?

A massive creature attacks a deep-sea submersible, leaving it disabled and trapping the crew at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. With time running out, rescue diver Jonas Taylor (Statham) must save the crew and the ocean itself from an unimaginable threat – a 75-foot-long prehistoric shark known as the Megalodon.

Jon Turteltaub, who directed delicacies like National Treasure and Cool Runnings takes to The Meg like, well a duck to water. It’s filled with tantalising action sequences and Jason Statham spouting marine biology jargon including a scene in which the Hollywood star is shirtless whilst spouting marine biology jargon. What more could you want?

Quite a bit as it happens. Despite a solid opening act that sets up the dark humour of the film nicely, The Meg is a bit of a bore. Populated by bland characters, uninspiring CGI and plot holes so big they’d make the Marianas trench blush. It’s all a bit of a mess to be honest.

The Meg is one of a new breed of Hollywood blockbusters that has been made to pander to the new Chinese audience and while this has worked well for other high-budget movies like Pacific Rim, it doesn’t work quite as well here. Li Bingbing stars as marine biologist Suyin Zhang and whilst she performs well in her native tongue, her English-spoken scenes are stilted and lack any depth of emotion whatsoever.

In fact, outside of Statham, the rest of the cast are complete non-entities. Rainn Wilson provides some comic relief as a financial investor, but it’s all very B-movie and clearly not in the way it was intended. You see, when you know you have a ridiculous premise, the best thing to do is run with it and create the most insanely bizarre film in existence. Unfortunately, The Meg takes itself far too seriously and this makes it feel much longer than its running time would suggest. They could’ve gotten away with calling it ‘Jason Statham Shark Movie’ as that’ pretty much the premise in a nutshell.

It’s occasionally fun and could have been smashing fun, but in reality, it’s a bit of a damp squib
At a cost just shy of $200million, you’d expect to have Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom levels of special effects. They actually cost around the same to produce. In truth, The Meg can’t hold a candle to its land-based prehistoric cousin. The CGI is passable at best and really dreadful at worst and this is a real shame. When the main selling point of your film is a 75-foot shark, you really need to get it spot on.

Besides a couple of cool shots, one of which is the featured image for this particular review (see the image at the top of the header banner), the cinematography is absolutely uninspired.

When you have a film that features so much ocean, there are a multitude of amazing things you could achieve with the shot choices. Unfortunately, none of them have been realised here.

Elsewhere, there is something a little more sinister afoot. Sharks already get a seriously bad reputation and this film does nothing to quash that. With many species now unfortunately endangered, films like The Meg could do more harm than good. It portrays all sharks as merciless killers – proficient and deadly. If it did want to be a serious shark attack flick, it should have relied less on goofy comedy and more on raising awareness for the creatures.

We’ve now had three ‘creature feature’ films thus far into 2018. Starting with Rampage earlier in the year, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in June and now The Meg, and whilst each of them brings something unique to the table, The Meg sinks to the bottom of the seafloor. It’s occasionally fun and could have been smashing fun, but in reality, it’s a bit of a damp squib. The Meg is a shark movie without any bite.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2018/08/11/the-meg-review-jurassic-shark/
  
Saboteur
Saboteur
2004 | Bluff, Card Game, Exploration, Fantasy, Party Game
Okay, so Saboteur isn’t one of the newest or shiniest board games on the market at the moment. Here’s the thing, it doesn’t need to be. It is profoundly unique, and well, scratched a BIG itch at its debut. I cannot think, off the top of my head, of a board game that is so immensely strategic, yet quick, super thrilling, and engaging for all ages.

As I said, this game may be small, it may be older, but it is mighty. If you like that element of a “sabotage character” in board games, then you will love Saboteur. The best part of this game is that being the “sabotage character” isn’t difficult to learn or teach. I remember playing rounds of “The Resistance: Avalon” or “The Resistance” thinking “what the heck am I really supposed to do?” before really understanding the sabotagey (I am making a new word here) role. At times I felt even a little incompetent because I was stuck in this role all by myself. This is where Saboteur REALLY shines! Not only is the sabotage role easy to learn, you get sabotagey FRIENDS to help you out. It only gets better with more and more players too!

So, what is this great little game all about? Well, each player is dealt a role card which is either a regular old (yes, they all have long white beards) dwarf, or a saboteur dwarf (they look slightly more sinister than the rest). Of course, our good dwarfs are on an honest quest to find some gold. (Nothing could go wrong right!?) As our dwarf friends begin to dig further into the cave of golden wonders (in the form of cards seen in the illustration below), they have to navigate to one of 3 specified cards with only 1 truly holding their golden prize. All the while our Saboteur friends, which are not revealed until the end of the game, are making attempts to play pathways and tricks to divert the good dwarves away from the treasure. The winning conditions are simple. If the good dwarves find the gold, they win. If the Saboteurs prevent the good dwarves from finding the gold, they win. Each role is then awarded with gold chunks, which they will keep for a cumulative score after 3 rounds of play. As I said, simple, but SOOOO much fun! I think the most exciting part for our game group has always been turning over the cards at the end of each round to see who the Saboteurs really were.

I think I speak for us all when I say that the excitement level and ease of teaching for this one are through the roof. If there are any drawbacks, it is the quality of the cards themselves. You will want to sleeve them…..trust us. Your game group will be begging to play multiple games in a row, lending to not so sterling looking cards. They get scratched after only a few plays. So, with the money you will save on this cheap little gem, do yourself a favor and splurge the extra $5 and get a nice stack of sleeves! The other drawback you may find frustrating is at the end when you are revealing roles to find out that someone who you thought was a Saboteur was actually a regular dwarf all along with really unfortunate card draws! Such is life, right!? Anyway, until next time, happy gaming everyone!

Purple Phoenix Games gives this a 20 / 24.

https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2018/12/24/saboteur-review/
  
Welcome To Happiness (2016)
Welcome To Happiness (2016)
2016 | Comedy, Drama, Sci-Fi
6
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Verdict: Strange and Quirky

Story: Welcome to Happiness starts as young man Woody (Gallner) a children’s author who welcomes strangers into his apartment to help them go through his erase their mistakes, this makes his life complicated when he starts becoming friendly with a fellow tenant Trudy (Thirlby). Meanwhile Nyles (Sexton III) a man that is cleaning up after his father’s death, learns that he has valuable baseball cards, which sees him getting drawn into a big adventure around the people who want in on the business.
When Woody sees the full effect of the visits, he starts to question why he can’t change moments from his past, which soon starts to put a strain on his relationship with Trudy, while his landlord Moses (Offerman) is encouraged with his work.

Thoughts on Welcome to Happiness

Characters – Woody is a children’s author that has just moved into an apartment which sees strangers visit, answer a string of questions before putting them in a closet where they vanish. He doesn’t know what happens next until he meets one of the visitors, which leaves him wondering why he can’t change his past, which only makes him out to be going crazy to his girlfriend. Trudy is the new neighbour to Woody who strikes up a relationship with him, she does question him about the visit and doesn’t believe him when he tells the story. Moses is the landlord that knows about the closet, he knows how it helps people and who should be the one that guides people through it. Nyles is a depressed man that learns about the treasure in his father’s attic, he ends up follow a string of instructions, which will sees him visiting the closet.
Performances – Kyle Gallner does well in the leading role, it shows us just how difficult being an author with pain in his life can be difficult to get through. This does have a big cast, with each actor doing their thing to make us understand figures they are playing.
Story – The story here follows a young man that finds himself in the unusual position of having to deal with strangers looking to answer questions, which would see them disappear in his closet, over time he wants to know more, which will soon start to push him to his limits. This is an interesting little story, it does show us how difficult living in despair could be on the people in life, they will need to learn to move on, because once you break down everything, you never know what could have been in the world. We do have to meet a lot of characters, which do seem to have moments of randomness, though it does all make sense by the end of the film.
Comedy/Fantasy – The comedy in the film comes from just how far out there certain ideas are, mixed in with certain characters too, the fantasy shows us how the closet works and just how life can be seen differently if people come into it.
Settings – The settings for the film does try to put everything into a position of everyday, leading down the same plan as people you see in life will have stories you might not always get to know.

Scene of the Movie – Behind the door.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – Certain characters don’t seem needed at times.
Final Thoughts – This is a very strange movie, it does have an important message, that does need to help us reflect our own lives, even if it does lean away from it at times.

Overall: Interesting throughout.
  
Cartagena
Cartagena
2000 | Pirates, Racing
Avast and whatnot! Yar, this be a piratey-themed game of prison escape, and it be very good. You and ye mateys must escape a prison of Cartagena and reach the boat to sail to freedom! But do you have the resources available to navigate the treacherous tunnels to the outside? Or will you have to retreat to bolster your holdings for your final surge? This is Cartagena!

If you know me, you know I’m kind of a sucker for pirate games. Why? I don’t know. I’m not necessarily a fan of pirate-themed things in the real world, but it’s a gaming theme I truly enjoy. I don’t remember exactly where or from whom I heard of this game, but I am very glad I did because I really enjoy it.

During a game of Cartagena you play a “team” of pirates that are escaping a dungeon through a wacky tunnel to get to the getaway boat at the end. You do this by playing cards from your hand that match symbols printed on the tunnel tiles assembled in the middle of the table. When you play a card you must move one of your pirates – any one you wish – to the next closest unoccupied space on the board that matches the symbol on the card you played. If you play a card, let’s say a flag, and there is a pirate already on the next closest flag symbol, you keep moving your pirate along through the tunnel until you reach the next flag without a pirate on it. You have two actions on your turn and you will likely be playing two cards every turn to advance your pirates.

“Easy. This is great! But, now my starting hand is depleted and you told me I couldn’t draw a card at the end of my turn.” Correct. Herein lies the struggle and tension in the game.

If you do not have any cards in your hand, or if you just want to improve your hand, you must move one of your pirates backward through the tunnel to the next pirate behind you. If there is just one pirate when you arrive you draw one card. Two pirates two cards. Three pirates already there? Keep on truckin, matey. You need to continue backward to find a solitary or couple of pirates; there can never be more than three pirates on a space. You then take the amount of cards dependent on existing pirates and continue your turn.

Play continues like this until a player has successfully gotten their pirate crew to the boat and escapes the dungeons in Cartagena.

So like I said, I’m a sucker for pirate-themed games. However, this game could have so many other themes applied to it and it would work just as well. I do not necessarily feel like a pirate as I am playing, but I do appreciate the effort here. What I really enjoy about this game is the fact that it is mechanically very simple, so it works well with many different age groups. In fact, I am sure you can play this with gamers younger than the suggested age of 8 and be completely happy with the result. The rules are very light, the decisions are sometimes very heartbreaking if you do not plan ahead well enough. It will never be considered a brain burner, nor will it be the crown jewel of a collection or game night, but it is fun. Racing your opponents to the end of a tunnel to freedom, but also knowing that you will eventually need to regress to fuel future turns is a great little balancing exercise and I dig it, like a fine treasure chest.

Components? Well, the version we have is akin to the version on the main ratings graphic here, with that box art. The art in the game, however, is much more cartoony (see image below). It’s not BAD, but it’s not amazing either. I believe the newer version has much better art throughout. The cards are of decent quality, as are the tiles that make up the tunnel. The best components are the little pirateeples. Piraeeples? I’m never very good at the -eepling. All in all it’s a small game that packs up easily and quickly and is great to pull out pretty much any time you need a great filler. We at Purple Phoenix Games give this one a swashbuckling 13 / 18.
  
    Puzzle Quest 2

    Puzzle Quest 2

    Games and Entertainment

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    ATTENTION: This game is not currently compatible with iOS 7.1 on the iPhone 4. *New holiday sale...

“Rhyal was sitting in a wagon. She wriggled her nose. The stench awoke her from her meditation. She opened her eyes to see Ender snoring away. She sensed and knew where she was now. She peered out of the canvas covering to see the dark mountains of Grund Morr. It would be the last known feature she’d see as they passed through the Evermire swampland.”

    Conquest of the Evermire: 1. Hinterland Fortress is the first book in the Conquest of the Evermire series by author Ron Smorynski, author of the series Alfred and Knight of the Dead. (See the end of this review for links to reviews of all of those books as well). The novella follows adoptive siblings Rhyal, an elf, and Ender, a human. The two are on a journey to see the world outside of the elven havens. They have heard the stories and myths connected to Evermire, of treasure and glory, and decided to see it for themselves.

The book combines together a lot of my favorite fantasy things. An exciting adventure, interesting renditions of classic magical beings, strong bonds of friendship or family, a well-built world, and a lot of fun and quirky side characters. I found myself very drawn to the connection between Rhyal and Ender, their close bond already formed at the beginning of the book is engaging. I also really appreciated that, while they are trained and talented fighters, they acknowledge the difference physically and mentally in fighting in real life vs. practice. This added some realism and made the fighting more interesting to follow. My favorite side character in the book was Ligo. He is a fun, quirky, snarky gone with very big dreams. He added the lightness that this book needed to balance the dark setting and fights to the death.

What this novella really does is serve as an exciting set-up to the adventure. The book allows us to get to know some of the characters, learn a bit about the Evermire, but perhaps most importantly plant the seeds of several intriguing questions. I know just want to learn more about Rhyal and Ender’s pasts, more about the magic system, what is really hidden in the depth of the Evermire… This was an exciting start to a fun adventure that I look forward to continuing in the sequel: Conquest of the Evermire: 2. The Church.

The book is great for young adults as it is not unnecessarily dark or gory. I thought that this book was really fun and I am excited to see where it goes next!