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Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated The Last Shark (1981) in Movies
Aug 15, 2020
An oldie... but a goodie?
A large great white shark is interested in taking part in a seaside town's regatta but the major would rather it stayed away so that paying visitors can go about safely spending their money.
You'd be forgiven for thinking that The Last Shark was actually Jaws 2, evidently Universal thought that too and sued the life out of them. With such a familiar feeling to the whole affair it felt like it went fairly quickly, at times, too quickly. More than once I noted down that the scenes just left out the "boring bits" of filler and went straight to the nitty-gritty of moving the story along... this is what we always wanted right? In practice, it's not all that great.
When I started my notes with "what is this, windsurfing porn?" (I started writing watersports fun but quickly changed that.) I felt confident of daft enjoyment ahead, and with a great transition from music over the scene to music in the scene... well, it won me over. Then to throw in the classic line "absolutely nothing is going to happen!" Wow!
Being serious about this review feels a little over the top, so let's just say it's exactly what you'd expect from a film ripping off another film when both those films are shark films... there were corners cut obviously and it tries to keep to the action side more than anything else but that works pretty well considering.
My note taking highlight (after windsurfing porn) was the fact that the local butcher must have been doing a roaring trade, forget all those BBQs, he was selling slabs of meat for bait hand over fist. At least someone came out of all of this better off!
You've got teens in peril, people hunting the shark, a local politician with bigger things on his mind, and that's what makes Jaws... sorry... that's what makes Jaws... DAMNIT... The Last Shark! That's what makes The Last Shark an amusing watch.
Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-last-shark-movie-review.html
A large great white shark is interested in taking part in a seaside town's regatta but the major would rather it stayed away so that paying visitors can go about safely spending their money.
You'd be forgiven for thinking that The Last Shark was actually Jaws 2, evidently Universal thought that too and sued the life out of them. With such a familiar feeling to the whole affair it felt like it went fairly quickly, at times, too quickly. More than once I noted down that the scenes just left out the "boring bits" of filler and went straight to the nitty-gritty of moving the story along... this is what we always wanted right? In practice, it's not all that great.
When I started my notes with "what is this, windsurfing porn?" (I started writing watersports fun but quickly changed that.) I felt confident of daft enjoyment ahead, and with a great transition from music over the scene to music in the scene... well, it won me over. Then to throw in the classic line "absolutely nothing is going to happen!" Wow!
Being serious about this review feels a little over the top, so let's just say it's exactly what you'd expect from a film ripping off another film when both those films are shark films... there were corners cut obviously and it tries to keep to the action side more than anything else but that works pretty well considering.
My note taking highlight (after windsurfing porn) was the fact that the local butcher must have been doing a roaring trade, forget all those BBQs, he was selling slabs of meat for bait hand over fist. At least someone came out of all of this better off!
You've got teens in peril, people hunting the shark, a local politician with bigger things on his mind, and that's what makes Jaws... sorry... that's what makes Jaws... DAMNIT... The Last Shark! That's what makes The Last Shark an amusing watch.
Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-last-shark-movie-review.html
Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Primal (2019) in Movies
Aug 22, 2020
When will I learn? Do not watch big star films you've never heard of before I see them on DVD.
A big game hunter ends up transporting his catch on a ship with a team of military personnel that are transporting an assassin back to the US under the radar. All it takes is one wrong step for the ship to be filled with danger as everyone is being stalked by killers, both animal and human.
I nearly lobbed this DVD out my window after the first scene with the CGI kitty cat, it was truly abysmal. Thankfully at some point I stopped noticing fairly quickly.
Kevin Durand plays our assassin-in-transit and he's always a pretty good bet for a bad guy. Even in this he has a great presence. Next we have Famke Janssen, I couldn't honestly tell you how long it's been since I saw her in something. This wasn't a great character though, and apart from one or two scenes I had forgotten she was even in this film when I scrolled through the cast list. It's not entirely to do with the acting, which did feel a little lacklustre, the character didn't have a lot of punch and wasn't what you know she's capable of.
There's no denying that this is below my usual Cage favourites. It's pretty low on the Cage Rage ranking, but it's still a Nicolas Cage film and as with shark films that means there's an automatic pass. It would have to do something horrendous for me to outright hate it.
There's logic of some description in Primal but it's still a distinctly average film. I can forgive the bad CGI, but a poor script and average production quality across the board mean I'm regretting paying actual money for it. The idea for the story feels like someone used a story generator to get different plot points, even so, there was potential in it but I was rather sad it wasn't a better experience.
Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/08/primal-movie-review.html
A big game hunter ends up transporting his catch on a ship with a team of military personnel that are transporting an assassin back to the US under the radar. All it takes is one wrong step for the ship to be filled with danger as everyone is being stalked by killers, both animal and human.
I nearly lobbed this DVD out my window after the first scene with the CGI kitty cat, it was truly abysmal. Thankfully at some point I stopped noticing fairly quickly.
Kevin Durand plays our assassin-in-transit and he's always a pretty good bet for a bad guy. Even in this he has a great presence. Next we have Famke Janssen, I couldn't honestly tell you how long it's been since I saw her in something. This wasn't a great character though, and apart from one or two scenes I had forgotten she was even in this film when I scrolled through the cast list. It's not entirely to do with the acting, which did feel a little lacklustre, the character didn't have a lot of punch and wasn't what you know she's capable of.
There's no denying that this is below my usual Cage favourites. It's pretty low on the Cage Rage ranking, but it's still a Nicolas Cage film and as with shark films that means there's an automatic pass. It would have to do something horrendous for me to outright hate it.
There's logic of some description in Primal but it's still a distinctly average film. I can forgive the bad CGI, but a poor script and average production quality across the board mean I'm regretting paying actual money for it. The idea for the story feels like someone used a story generator to get different plot points, even so, there was potential in it but I was rather sad it wasn't a better experience.
Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/08/primal-movie-review.html
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated The Square (2017) in Movies
Aug 29, 2020
The Movie That Never Ends
Artsy-fartsy movies are very hit or miss for me. Artsy-fartsy movies about art are almost always going to be a no. Enter The Square, a movie about an art curator who is preparing to launch his next exhibit called…The Square. I wish I could simply tell you to just not watch the movie, but I need to tell you why so here goes…
Acting: 10
How phenomenal is Elisabeth Moss? I appreciate the roles she takes on and I appreciate the obvious time and energy she puts into each. While she is supporting here, I certainly felt the most impact from her role. Sure Claes Bang was solid in the lead role as Christian, but this movie would have been damn near unbearable without Moss. The acting definitely didn’t hinder the success of this movie.
Beginning: 4
Characters: 9
Cinematography/Visuals: 9
For all of its flaws, the movie is at the very least gorgeous. I loved the dark and ominous tones throughout that represented a certain foreshadowing. Bright colors and shadows are played with perfectly. Director Ruben Ostlund does a magnificent job of creating an off-putting effect that casts a cloud over the movie (in a good way).
Conflict: 5
Entertainment Value: 3
From the beginning of this movie to its lackluster conclusion, I was just bored throughout. Like really bored. Like “When does this end? Oh my God, it’s almost 2 1/2 hours!” bored. Moss was great, but she wasn’t enough to save a work of art that is so boring and unmoving. Snoozefest.
Memorability: 3
Sure the Human Monkey Scene stands out as something to remember, but even that ultimately became annoying after watching three minutes of it. Nothing stood out in the entire 142 minutes of The Square. It suffers from no edification or value overall.
Pace: 5
Plot: 4
Resolution: 2
Overall: 54
Rule of Thumb: If you’re going to make a movie that’s well over two hours, you have to keep people interested right out of the gates. Otherwise, what’s really the point? That’s what I found myself asking every second of The Square. Not recommended in the least.
Acting: 10
How phenomenal is Elisabeth Moss? I appreciate the roles she takes on and I appreciate the obvious time and energy she puts into each. While she is supporting here, I certainly felt the most impact from her role. Sure Claes Bang was solid in the lead role as Christian, but this movie would have been damn near unbearable without Moss. The acting definitely didn’t hinder the success of this movie.
Beginning: 4
Characters: 9
Cinematography/Visuals: 9
For all of its flaws, the movie is at the very least gorgeous. I loved the dark and ominous tones throughout that represented a certain foreshadowing. Bright colors and shadows are played with perfectly. Director Ruben Ostlund does a magnificent job of creating an off-putting effect that casts a cloud over the movie (in a good way).
Conflict: 5
Entertainment Value: 3
From the beginning of this movie to its lackluster conclusion, I was just bored throughout. Like really bored. Like “When does this end? Oh my God, it’s almost 2 1/2 hours!” bored. Moss was great, but she wasn’t enough to save a work of art that is so boring and unmoving. Snoozefest.
Memorability: 3
Sure the Human Monkey Scene stands out as something to remember, but even that ultimately became annoying after watching three minutes of it. Nothing stood out in the entire 142 minutes of The Square. It suffers from no edification or value overall.
Pace: 5
Plot: 4
Resolution: 2
Overall: 54
Rule of Thumb: If you’re going to make a movie that’s well over two hours, you have to keep people interested right out of the gates. Otherwise, what’s really the point? That’s what I found myself asking every second of The Square. Not recommended in the least.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Chopping Mall (1986) in Movies
Sep 28, 2020 (Updated Sep 28, 2020)
So yeah, I freaking love Chopping Mall. It's a prefect slice of ridiculous and cheesy sci-fi horror from the 80s and a great example of how fun low budget horror can be...
The premise alone is amazing - eight teenagers get locked in a state-of-the-art shopping mall after a lightning storm hits the roof-situated antenna that controls the malls' robotic security team, sending the machines haywire and turning them into killer robots. Less than ten minutes in and Chopping Mall has absolutely all of my attention.
A huge positive about this movie is how likable the group of survivors are. A couple of them are a little throwaway, but the majority of them are given just enough backstory to make them feel real, and are all played well by their respective actors (ALWAYS love to see Barbara Crampton).
It's almost a shame when they start to get picked off. As is par for the course with this era of horror, Chopping Mall uses practical effects for the most part, and what we see he is pretty decent (ridiculous head explosions anyone?) and the few "special" effects we are treated to (the robots lasers for example) are so wonderfully low budget that it ends up adding even more charm. There is also an unholy amount of explosions just for good measure.
The dialogue is typical slasher fare, but it's boasts such gems as "Let's send these fuckers a Rambo-gram", "it's gonna be good time to the max!", "They're trying to french fry us, well I'm no damn potato" and "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not used to running around a shopping mall in the middle of the night being chased by killer robots". Just spectacular really, especially the big guy stuffing his face whilst dead pan saying "Waitress, more butter" before an immediate cut away.
Chopping Mall for me is near the upper echelon of 80s horror. Sure it's cheap and silly but it's also great, and gets criminally overlooked due to more popular franchises. Do yourself a favor and give it a watch if you haven't before.
Also, the soundtrack absolutely slaps.
The premise alone is amazing - eight teenagers get locked in a state-of-the-art shopping mall after a lightning storm hits the roof-situated antenna that controls the malls' robotic security team, sending the machines haywire and turning them into killer robots. Less than ten minutes in and Chopping Mall has absolutely all of my attention.
A huge positive about this movie is how likable the group of survivors are. A couple of them are a little throwaway, but the majority of them are given just enough backstory to make them feel real, and are all played well by their respective actors (ALWAYS love to see Barbara Crampton).
It's almost a shame when they start to get picked off. As is par for the course with this era of horror, Chopping Mall uses practical effects for the most part, and what we see he is pretty decent (ridiculous head explosions anyone?) and the few "special" effects we are treated to (the robots lasers for example) are so wonderfully low budget that it ends up adding even more charm. There is also an unholy amount of explosions just for good measure.
The dialogue is typical slasher fare, but it's boasts such gems as "Let's send these fuckers a Rambo-gram", "it's gonna be good time to the max!", "They're trying to french fry us, well I'm no damn potato" and "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not used to running around a shopping mall in the middle of the night being chased by killer robots". Just spectacular really, especially the big guy stuffing his face whilst dead pan saying "Waitress, more butter" before an immediate cut away.
Chopping Mall for me is near the upper echelon of 80s horror. Sure it's cheap and silly but it's also great, and gets criminally overlooked due to more popular franchises. Do yourself a favor and give it a watch if you haven't before.
Also, the soundtrack absolutely slaps.
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