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Prowler's Passage
Prowler's Passage
2018 | Medieval, Territory Building
Night in the city – guards patrol the streets, protecting the extraordinary wealth found across all the city districts. Your goal? To infiltrate the districts and steal the valuable items for yourself. But with the heightened security measures, you’ve got to find an alternate route for entry… tunnels! Burrow underneath the city in a network of passages and grab all the valuable goods you want! Better move fast, though, because your thieving rival has had the same idea and is already on the prowl to steal the wealth for himself.

Prowler’s Passage is a 2-player game of area majority, route building, and set collection in which players are trying to plunder the city and amass more wealth than their rival thief. Played over a series of rounds, players take turns building a passage, collecting items, and gaining influence over certain city districts. To setup the game, place the control track between the 2 players, and randomly select and place 6 board hexes as described in the rulebook. Place 3 random Achievement cards face-up next to the control board. Place the Statues and Control markers in their corresponding starting spaces, populate the board with item tiles, and each player receives 13 passage sections in their chosen color. The game is ready to begin!


On your turn, you will perform 3 actions, beginning with placing a passage. Take a passage section from your supply and place it on any pathway on the board that has an item tile on it. It is important to note that you can place your passages anywhere on the board, as long as there is an item tile in that space – your passages are not required to create a continuous, unbroken pathway. After placing your passage, collect the item tile from the pathway where you just placed your passage. Finally, each pathway is adjacent to 2 city districts. Move the Control markers for the corresponding adjacent city districts one space toward your side of the control track. Play moves on to your opponent, and the game continues as such. There are 2 scoring phases, one in the middle of the game, and the other at the game’s end. You score points for continuous passages, statues collected, sets of items gathered, city districts (if you have majority control), and fulfillment of achievement cards. All scoring items are worth different point values, so check the rulebook for the specifics of how everything is scored. At the end of the game, total up points from both scoring phases, and the player with the most points is the winner!
For a small, 2-player only game, Prowler’s Passage packs quite the punch. It is essentially a tug-of-war between players as they try to gain control of the 5 city districts and amass the most wealth. But instead of using brute strength to pull the districts in your favor, you use strategy. Every passage you put into play moves the adjacent 2 city district Control markers one space in your favor. So you have to strategize what passage placements are the most beneficial for your overall scoring, and most detrimental to your opponent. And since passages do not need to be played in a continuous line, your strategy can be more open-ended instead of limiting you to only certain future placements. Aside from gaining control of the city districts, you also receive points for collecting sets of item tokens. That’s just another layer of strategy added that takes this game to the next level. Not only do you have to decide what passage placements are best for you, you need to figure out what item tokens you want and if you are willing to risk letting go of certain district influence in order to complete an item set.

One thing that I love about Prowler’s Passage is that it is a game of open information. There are no hidden objectives, secret powers, or unknowns overall. Everything is laid out and plainly visible to both players. You can see exactly what your opponent is doing, and they can see what you are doing. So your strategy must be two-fold – putting yourself in a good position, while also attempting to stifle the progress of your opponent. Can you anticipate the strategy of your opponent, or will they be able to keep you off their trail? And as the game progresses and passage placement options dwindle, you really have to kick your strategy into overdrive to squeeze out as many points as you can before the end of the game!

The biggest drawback for me regarding this game is the actual scoring. Each city district is scored in a unique way unlike any of the other districts. So when I play, I find myself referring back to the rulebook during both mid-game and end-game scoring to check how to score everything. It’s not as intuitive as I would like, and it just slows the game down when tallying up scores. The other thing that can be a drawback is that since there are so many strategic options, it could lead to some serious AP in players. Every move affects several other factors, so you really have to be thinking deeply and in advance for each of your turns. Which is cool – I love trying to figure out the best strategy for success. But at the same time, it could bring the game to a screeching halt as one player must decide between so many options. It’s supposed to be a quick game, but overthinking is definitely a possibility.


The components of the game are nice and sturdy overall. The colors of some components don’t match perfectly, and that can lead to some confusion. The Purple city district has a nice Purple meeple, but the corresponding tile sections look more Pink to me. The Brown meeple is fine, but the city tiles have some pinkish hues. Just a little mismatching, but nothing that an edited printing can’t fix!
Overall, I would have to say that I really like Prowler’s Passage. There are many strategic options and ways to score points, and you must be able to adjust your strategy on the fly to answer back to your opponent. There is no single right strategy, and discovering different options is fun for me. Aside from the color matching in the components, and the possibilities for serious AP, this game is a great one. Enough strategy, scoring options, and player interaction to keep both players engaged, but not so difficult that you have to devote an entire game night to play one single game. I’m glad that I was able to get Prowler’s Passage in my collection, and it is high on my 2-player-only games list. Purple Phoenix Games gives it a sneaking 9/12.
  
Chronicles of Crime: 1900
Chronicles of Crime: 1900
2021 | Adventure, Deduction, Murder & Mystery, Puzzle
WARNING: Extremely minor spoilers ahead (in the photos)! Don’t say I didn’t warn you (they aren’t big spoilers).

If you have been following us for a while now you have probably noticed we have published another title from the Millennium Series – Chronicles of Crime: 1400. While that title takes place in the year, well, 1400, this new title is set 500 years later in Paris. How do these games compare? What about the link to the original Chronicles of Crime (review to be posted later)? Should one purchase copies of all Chronicles of Crime games?

Chronicles of Crime: 1900 (which I shall refer to as CoC1900 from here) is a cooperative campaign, deduction, storytelling, puzzle solving adventure game, but I prefer to play it, and its relatives, solo. In it, the player(s) take control of the journalist Victor Lavel, a descendent of the main character from CoC1400. Victor has a limited amount of time to complete his investigation and return the scoop to the local newspaper by which he is employed. Players will be tackling the investigations of our noble hero in attempts to solve the case that is presented.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, place the main card holder board on the table. Anywhere. I called it. Next, keep the card decks in order (or don’t) and place them near the board. Similarly, place the location boards on the table and ready the main newspaper board for play. Launch the Chronicles of Crime app on a device, choose 1900, and select the scenario you wish to play. The app will drive the remainder of the game, so hold onto your butts!
How do I explain this game succinctly? Well, each of the cases will involve players traveling to different Location Boards and meeting Characters at these locations. Many cases will be involving several Special Items and, new for the 1900 version, Puzzle Cards that players will need to solve or use in special ways in order to progress with certain leads. These Puzzle Cards do not really give the story away or anything, but are merely tools to be used to help solve the cases.


By using the app and scanning the QR codes on the boards and cards players will be learning about the case, viewing the scene of the crime(s), inspecting items, and chatting up locals for information. Play will continue not so much in “rounds” but until the players have enough evidence and a good handle on the situation enough to return to the paper’s office to report to their coworkers all the details of the crime(s) by scanning answers to their questions about the case. The app then assesses the accuracy of the answers and outputs a score. Based on the score achieved players can play again to pick up clues they missed along the way or try another scenario entirely.

Components. As with all CoC games I have played, the components are simply wonderful. Most of what is in the box is cardstock of varying thickness, but the art is what really stands out. This is a gorgeous game and when it is displayed on the table, people become fascinated by its presence. Then when the onlookers see an app driving the gameplay they are hooked. I have heard complaints from other reviewers that the Character cards in the game are lacking in variation, and I would have to agree. Yes, it is set in 1900 Paris, but all the Character cards feature white people, most of whom seem to be upper crust, and with most of the males sporting an awful mustache. So I get that complaint and agree. With inclusivity and diversity being major hot issues currently, you would expect to see more of it in our industry. I would have liked to have come across more diverse characters, and maybe a mini expansion can add many alternate art characters to the game.

All in all I loved this theme of Chronicles of Crime. Being set in Paris and following a young investigative journalist is a nice twist on the protagonists commonly featured in these games. The gameplay is the same as previous versions of CoC, save for the new Puzzle cards. I do enjoy their addition, and look to find more of these in future versions. I love the Chronicles of Crime system so I was bound to love this one as well.

Now, should you buy this version if you already have base Chronicles of Crime? Sure! Why? I like this one because it adds a different mechanic to the game with all-new scenarios, and I enjoy having more of a good thing. I think I personally prefer the theme in 1400 more, but 1900 is a great addition to the family. If you are someone who has and enjoys the base CoC, or any of its iterations, and are looking for more content to devour, then definitely grab a copy of 1900. If you are new to the system, I say go ahead and start with 1900. The Puzzle cards do not add enough complexity to take it out of reach for beginner gamers or those who enjoy lighter games, but certainly add a new and welcome layer to the series. Purple Phoenix Games certainly recommends this one to all our fans. Can’t get enough Chronicles of Crime? Grab 1900. Want to start in the series but London or Medieval times don’t do it for you? Grab 1900. Like tons of portraits of mustachioed white dudes and floofy ladies? Grab 1900. Whatever your motivation, play the game and let me know how you score. I am not advertising my first score here because I am mortified by my performance. (I did get better on subsequent plays.)
  
The Lost Expedition
The Lost Expedition
2017 | Adventure, Card Game, Exploration
El Dorado – the lost city of gold. Many have searched for this fabled civilization, but none have prevailed… yet. Gather up your team of experts and pack your bags for the jungle – you’re headed on an adventure! Can you find the path to this lost city and get there alive? Or will the encounters of the wilderness prove to be too much to handle? Only one way to find out….

Disclaimer: The Lost Expedition can be played cooperatively, solo, or head-to-head. This review only covers the cooperative version of the game! -L

The Lost Expedition is a cooperative (in this case) game of strategy and hand management in which players are trying to traverse the jungle to reach El Dorado by carefully managing their Resources and utilizing their collective Expertise. To setup the game, choose 3 explorers to form your team, and collect 3 Ammunition and 4 Food from the supply tokens. Shuffle the adventure cards, dealing 4 to every player, placing the remainder in a face-down draw deck. Depending on the difficulty selected, place the corresponding number of Expedition cards in a row on the table (we played Normal mode, using 9 Expedition cards). Place 4 Health tokens on each explorer card, place the phase token with the Morning side up, select a starting expedition leader, and the game is ready to begin.

Each round consists of 2 phases: Morning and Evening. During the Morning phase, players will take turns playing adventure cards from their hand, one at a time, until each player has played 2 cards. This line of cards forms the path that the explorers are traveling in the morning. After all cards have been played, they will be rearranged in numerical order, from lowest to highest. Once the cards are organized, they will be resolved one at a time, from lowest to highest, until all cards have been addressed. Examples of card actions are: discarding the next card in play, swapping two cards on the path, adding a new card to the end of the path, or moving the team pawn one card closer to El Dorado. Adventure cards have different colored boxes that indicate action choices that the players must make. Some actions are mandatory and must be completed. Some cards offer 2 or more choices, one of which must be selected and performed to clear the card. And some cards have optional choices, that do not have to be completed for the card to be resolved. Certain actions will require the team to gain/spend Resources tokens or Expertise from your explorers (in the form of Health tokens). At the end of the Morning phase, the team loses 1 Food token, and play continues to the Evening phase.


During the Evening phase, the gameplay is like that of the Morning with a couple of changes. Players again will alternate playing cards, but will play until all remaining cards in their hand have been played. Cards in the Evening phase are resolved in the order that they are played, and are not organized numerically like in the Morning phase. Again, after all cards are played, they will be resolved one by one as normal, paying Resources/Expertise as required. Once the Evening phase is finished, the team loses 1 Food token, players draw a new hand of cards, select another expedition leader, and a new round begins with the Morning phase. Play continues in this fashion until either the players have reached El Dorado, all 3 of the team’s explorers have died (have no remaining Health tokens), or if the adventure card draw deck runs out 2 times during play.
Pretty straight-forward, right? Play cards, resolve cards, repeat. That is one thing I really like about The Lost Expedition – it is simple, yet so strategic. Ultimately this is a game of Resource/Expertise management. You need at least 1 explorer to make it to El Dorado alive. There is no reward without risk in this game. Couple that with the multiple action options on each card, and you’ve really got to have a strategy. Maybe you’re low on Ammunition, but in order to gain back some much-needed Health, you’ve got to spend Ammo. Or are you willing to deal damage to an explorer if it means the team can advance a card? There are so many things to consider, and so many ways in which you can strategize, and that keeps all players engaged.

That being said, players are not allowed to reveal the details of any cards in hand. So how can you best communicate with your team about what types of cards to play if you can’t tell them point-blank? That added aspect of working in a team creates some unique strategies in and of itself. Ultimately, the final decision comes down to the expedition leader for the round – but what if they choose the action you didn’t want? How can everyone help balance everyone else out? You really have to work together to be successful. The flip-side of that teamwork is that the game can be frustrating in some aspects. You never truly know what your teammates are going to play at any given time, and the card they choose could totally unravel your plan. Not being able to discuss the specifics of cards in your hand makes sense (because then why wouldn’t the team just have one collective hand of cards?), but it adds an element of randomness and luck to the game that seems counterintuitive to me. Playing the wrong card at the wrong time might just turn your team against you, and that undermines the spirit of the game.


Let’s touch briefly on components. The cards are nice, oversized, and sturdy. The artwork is colorful and thematically appropriate. All of the Resources tokens are thick cardboard, and the meeples are nice and chunky. All in all, good production quality overall.
So how do I really feel about The Lost Expedition? I think it’s ok. It is strategic and entertaining, with the added elements of teamwork and cooperation – you either win together or lose together. As a group, you’ve got to have an adaptable strategy and manage your resources as best you can. Is it a game that I love? No. But it’s one that will probably stay in my collection for a bit, before it moves on to someone who might see some hidden quality that I may have missed. If you want a nice and relatively simple team game to play, maybe check out The Lost Expedition. And if risk/reward or resource management isn’t your jam, then maybe keep looking beyond this one. Purple Phoenix Games give The Lost Expedition an eventful 6 / 12.
  
Exit: The Game – The Polar Station
Exit: The Game – The Polar Station
2017 | Deduction, Puzzle, Real-time
One thing that has grown in popularity over the recent years are Escape Rooms. You know, where you’re physically trapped inside a room and have to solve various puzzles, crack codes, and beat the clock in an effort to get out before it’s game over. It should come as no surprise that this premise has made its way into the world of board gaming. Yeah, you’re not physically trapped somewhere, but you still have tons of puzzles to sort out in the fastest time you can. So how does this EXIT game hold up when compared with a real-life escape room? Keep reading to find out!

Disclaimer: In order to avoid spoilers, I will not be going too in depth with this review, but rather provide a general overview of the type of gameplay involved. Also, this review covers one specific EXIT game, but the general mechanics and gameplay are the same across the entire EXIT family.

In EXIT: The Game – The Polar Station (simply referred to as just EXIT from hereon out), you are a member of a research team stationed in the Arctic. One morning, the evacuation alarm goes off unexpectedly, and everyone makes a break for the helicopters. Just one problem for your crew – your exit door is already locked and sealed! You make your way to another section of the lab to look for an alternate escape route. What you find is a room full of locked drawers/doors. You must quickly crack these codes, in hopes that the materials contained within will aid you in your attempts to escape before the final rescue helicopter takes off.

To setup for a game, sort the cards into their appropriate decks – Riddle cards, Answer cards, and Help cards. Place the Decoder disk and the Book in the center of the table. Leave the other items in the game box, to be introduced later in the gameplay. You will also most likely need a pen/pencil and paper to help you as you solve the riddles. And bam! You’re ready to start. You may then open the Book and begin the game. The game ends if or when players are able to successfully solve all of the riddles/puzzles and make their escape from the polar station.

Without spoilers, that’s basically as much detail as I can provide. Over the course of the gameplay, players will be using the pages of the Book to find clues, solve puzzles, or even identify secret symbols. Riddle cards will be drawn and used as ciphers, puzzles, or clues to help crack a code. When you think you have the correct 3-digit code for a specific Riddle Card, enter the code onto the Decoder disk. The disk will then provide the number of an Answer card, which you will draw and check to see if you were correct or incorrect. If your answer is incorrect, you simply keep trying to solve the Riddle card. If your answer is correct, you will then be instructed to draw other Riddle Cards, or the other items from the game box, and will continue with these new puzzles. If at any point in time you feel stuck, you may draw a Help card for the corresponding puzzle. The first and second Help cards will give you hints, and the final Help card will tell you the solution to the puzzle. Draw these sparingly if you can, as they affect your end-game score!


When all puzzles/riddles/codes have been completed and cracked, the game is over. Players will then check the rulebook to see how many Stars were earned, out of 10. The number of Help cards you use, as well as how much time you took to complete the game, will affect the overall score.
All in all, I think that EXIT is a unique game. The games of the series have varying difficulty levels, and this particular EXIT is rated a 3 out of 5. So this one isn’t the most difficult game in the bunch, but it wasn’t easy either! All of the puzzles require creative solutions, and the answers are rarely ever as straight-forward as they appear. Some puzzles are more logical than others, while some require you to physically manipulate components to be used in creative ways. I guess that’s as good a segue as any to get into components. This game consists of a deck of cards, a Decoder disk, a Book, and a couple of special ‘items.’ All decent quality overall. But here’s the thing – you will have to bend/cut/manipulate/destroy many of the components to help you in your mission to solve the riddles. So this game is literally a one-and-done. It cannot be played again.

Did I enjoy my play of this EXIT game? Yes. It was uniquely challenging, while forcing me to think creatively when addressing the different riddles. The method used to solve one riddle is not necessarily the same to solve the next, so you have be able to adjust on the fly. And often times you will have several riddles in play at once, so you have to decide which to address and when, when do you have the right information, which riddle it goes with, etc.

The biggest drawback for me is that it cannot be played again, The fact that you have to alter the components to a point of destroying the original card is something that was personally hard for me to get used to. I try to keep all my games so nice and pristine, that having to cut a card apart was tough! I got over it though. Having played a couple of the EXIT games, as well as a few of the Unlock! games, I would have to say I prefer the Unlock! system. The puzzles are just as challenging and creative, but you do not need to alter components to complete the game. That way, I can pass along an Unlock! game to a friend, as opposed to just tossing this EXIT game right in the recycling bin. I might pick up another EXIT game if I had a specific group/game night in mind, but in general I don’t think I’ll be grabbing any more of these, for the lack of replayability alone. The gameplay itself is pretty great, but the fact that I can’t play it again is a con I can’t ignore. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a chilling 4 / 6.
  
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
2022 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
The noticeable Sam Raimi elements. (2 more)
The film is great when it's able to showcase horror.
The second end credits sequence is amazing.
The film is incredibly formulaic outside of its horror elements. (2 more)
You don't really care about any of the new characters.
No one is going to get that first end credits sequence.
Sam Raimi Finally Brings Horror to the MCU
Even with all of the universe jumping and Sam Raimi being able to add his filmmaking trademarks, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness is a bit too formulaic for its own good. Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) has been having dreams of a different version of himself dying while seeking a mythical book known as The Book of Ashanti. In his dream, Strange encounters America Chavez (Xochitl Gomez), a young girl with the uncontrollable power of universe jumping.

But then Strange meets America in his universe and learns that dreams are actually us seeing different versions of ourselves in different universes. Still blinded by the events in WandaVision, Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) intends to capture America and utilize her universe jumping ability to reunite with the children she created with magic.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness relies on what feels like a simplistic storyline to drive what is essentially the MCU’s first horror film. Strange really only seems driven to protect America because he dreamed about her and Wanda Maximoff has only turned evil because there’s suddenly this very thin line between being a mother and becoming a monster. Most of the film feels like a typical MCU film featuring the standard humor and wisecracking you’ve come to expect from superhero films along with the fate of the world (and possibly every other) probably being at stake.

The most refreshing moments of Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness are the moments that you can tell Raimi had a hand in writing, directing, or having some sort of input in some capacity. This is Raimi’s first directorial gig since 2013’s Oz: The Great and Powerful and it becomes quite obvious that audiences have missed his work. The Shuma Gorath sequence (renamed Gargantos for trademark purposes) is outstanding. Doctor Strange, Wong, and America battling a giant one eyed octopus is something so awesome that it kind of writes itself. Not only is it the film’s first big action sequence, but you can see a lot of Doctor Octopus and Spider-Man 2 influences as Gargantos destroys skyscrapers and gets his tentacles chopped off. The slicing of the bus as it’s thrown at Doctor Strange and America is also legitimately one of the coolest moments of the film.

There is a ton of homage to Evil Dead and Drag Me to Hell buried within the film. The final 20 minutes are overflowing with concepts seemingly pulled from classic Sam Raimi films. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness revolves around a book of the damned not unlike the Necronomicon. There are at least two major eyeball gags and a ridiculous amount of burning candles in the film. Like most Sam Raimi films, there’s an emphasis on corniness. His sense of humor has always been on the corny side and the heartfelt moments always seem to be milked and over exaggerated ever so slightly. All of these elements are in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and they are the moments that make the film feel more unique in comparison to the other 28 films in the MCU.

Strange saves America from Scarlet Witch by knocking her and himself into her own star shaped portal that sees them both falling through multiple universes. It’s a gloriously disorienting sequence, but it’s also incredibly similar to not only what we saw in the first Doctor Strange film but also a lot like the 700 space jumps in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. This film is meant to open the door even further when it comes to the cosmic side of the MCU and now the horror side of it as well. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness is not Spider-Man: No Way Home. There are not a ton of nostalgic cameos sprinkled throughout the film. There’s one sequence that combines fan speculation and other universes, but there aren’t a lot of hidden cameos like the internet speculated.

What is perhaps most interesting about this superhero sequel is that Stephen Strange is still learning to be more humble. His only play during Infinity War that ended up costing so many their lives for five long years is still weighing heavily on his mind. He also still loves Christine (Rachel McAdams) despite the fact that she’s moved on and struggles with whether he’s now happy or not. Throughout the film he’s constantly compared to the Doctor Strange of that universe and yet the film goes out of its way to show that this Doctor Strange is different. He will break the rules if he has to, but he will only do so when it’s the only option.

With so many universes and alternate versions of himself, it was naturally only a matter of time before Doctor Strange would have to fight himself. The musical note war Strange has with the Darkhold obsessed version of himself in the collapsed universe in the second half of the film does some really intriguing stuff with musical notes that essentially borrows visuals from the Chuck Jones directed animated short, “High Note,” from 1960 as well as the battle or reactionary element found in video games such as Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero. It’s an unusual fight that seems to be inspired solely by Strange bumping into a piano during the magical brawl.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness is dark, silly, and fan pleasing. The film is at is most bewitching when Sam Raimi can let his horror roots be showcased. It will satisfy horror and superhero film fans alike, but would have and could have been even better if Raimi was allowed to dive even further into the horror genre. Be sure to stay after the credits, as well. There are two after credits sequences with the final one being so absurdly on the nose for Sam Raimi that it may be the most entertaining part of the film.
  
Dance of the Dead (2008)
Dance of the Dead (2008)
2008 | Action, Horror
3
5.3 (3 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Jimmy Dunn (Jared Kusnitz) never seems to take anything seriously. He likes to spend more time in detention than he does in class. So it’s no surprise that Lindsey (Greyson Chadwick), the girl Jimmy was going to take to prom, decides to not go with him after realizing that Jimmy has no ambition. To make matters worse, something weird is going on in the graveyard next to the nuclear power plant in town. The dead are walking and they’re headed to the prom. The town is now in the hands of the losers who couldn’t get dates to the prom. There goes the neighborhood and here comes the pain; that is something that is certainly meant in more ways than one.

This is the type of horror film you have the urge to turn off as soon as it starts. Written by Joe Ballarini (My Little Pony: The Movie) and directed by Gregg Bishop (the “Dante the Great” segment of V/H/S Viral), Dance of the Dead is a part of the eight films that made up Ghost House Underground; horror films from all over the world chosen by Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert supposedly representing a “fresh” perspective of the horror genre. The problem is that most people would seek out one of these films and then never bother with the rest because why would you torture yourself any further?

The first 20 or so minutes of the film revolve around high school melodrama and the prom. This is supposedly where you get accustomed to the film’s humor, but it’s mostly nothing more than high school kids being obnoxious and unbearable. The graveyard scene is where things get even worse. Zombies start rising from beyond the grave and decomposing hands start bursting through headstones since that makes more sense than soil. Emerging from the ground simply wasn’t enough either; these zombies explode from their graves with smoke and a loud crash. Moments later during the same sequence, there are zombies jumping several feet into the air out of the ground, landing on their feet, and running after these kids. If it sounds cool in the slightest, then this description isn’t doing this dumpster fire justice.

The zombies are all over the place in Dance of the Dead. They start off as the zombies that run similar to the zombies in Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake. Later on in the film, they stumble around and are slow like George Romero’s zombies. Even later after that, the zombies are running again while some attempt to speak, say, “Brains!” and then get in a car and drive off. Someone had pointed out that the zombies in the film who are fresh out of the ground run while older ones move slower, which only makes this turd milkshake slightly less nutty. Dance of the Dead also can’t decide what zombie films to pay homage to either. Return of the Living Dead has a massive influence, but the film clearly pays tribute to Night of the Living Dead when the kids reach a house and decide to board up all the windows and take shelter. It seems like the one consistent aspect this film has is to be inconsistent.

Did you know zombies can be held at bay solely by the power of rocking out? Three stoners in a band (a guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer) inadvertently discover that their music stops zombies in their tracks. A bit later in the film during the prom, the gymnasium is full of zombies. There’s music playing and it shows three zombies on stage playing musical instruments; a guitar, a bass, and a drum set. Fast forward a little more and the three stoners are back again playing their stoner rock and the zombies are back to being frozen during their performance. There’s no consistency when it comes to what they play or how it affects zombies.

“In extreme circumstances, the assailants can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain.” Do you remember this quote from Shaun of the Dead? Try to keep it in mind, especially the, “removing the head,” part. A guy gets his head torn off by a zombie and you’d think he’d be dead, but this actually turns his decapitated head into a zombie. He comes back later on; his headless corpse carrying his decapitated head around. It’s one thing to try and reinvent a genre, but when you have so many reinventions along with homage out to wazoo you’re basically throwing cow pies at a brick wall and seeing what sticks.

Zombies shouldn’t make out with each other. Vampires shouldn’t sparkle and Warm Bodies isn’t canon. Two students turn into zombies and still end up in a giant make out session after they’ve turned. The kiss turns awkward as they start chewing on each other mid-kiss. They start taking bites out of each other while they’re still sucking face. This is the scariest aspect of the film considering that maybe most of us don’t want our eyeballs chewed out of our skulls during something so intimate.

When the special effects aren’t being a complete eyesore from being so cheap and ugly, the gore in Dance of the Dead is decent. Blood splattering everywhere is pretty common throughout the film. The acting isn’t completely terrible either. It absolutely isn’t good by any means. Dance of the Dead is basically Degrassi with zombies and everything lame you’re expecting to tag along with that reference. Lucas Till (X-Men: First Class, MacGyver) has a brief cameo as one of the rockers in the film and he's probably the only cast member you'll recognize.

The jumbled mass of homage and redefining of zombie lore in Dance of the Dead throws a monkey wrench in calling the film stereotypical and cliché, but it certainly feels that way. It seems like a rejected, alternate, first draft of a film you’ve already seen rather than a film that attempts to stand on its own two legs. It may be fun for fans of campy horror films, but its originality is borderline offensive since Dance of the Dead seems to just combine everything you know about zombies or purposely does the opposite at an attempt at being a different chomp of undead horror. Unfortunately though, Dance of the Dead is too overwhelmingly absurd for its own good as its gore feels like the drunken antics of a washed up clown rather than a competent horror film.

Dance of the Dead is available to stream on Amazon Prime, YouTube, and Google Play for $1.99, Vudu for $2.99, and iTunes for $5.99. The DVD is $7.72 on Amazon while the Blu-ray (which is Region 2 only) is $25.52 from a third party seller. The DVD is $7.49 in new condition and with free shipping on eBay or $4 with $2.99 shipping pre-owned. If you enjoy terrible things, the eight disc set of all the Ghost House Underground titles are available as a boxed set on Amazon for $179.74 and on eBay for $39.99 in brand new condition and with free shipping.
  
Hunters of the Lost Creatures
Hunters of the Lost Creatures
2022 | Animals, Card Game, Environmental
If you are reading this, then we can agree on a few things: board games are cool and interesting, silly themes are usually fun, and we are all kids at heart. I appreciate other gamers so much because we all share a common bond of experiencing good and bad games, good and bad rules, as well as good and bad explanations of these rules. I would spoil it up top here if I let on which of these categories our featured game falls into, right? So keep reading.

Hunters of the Lost Creatures is a silly set collection card game for three to four players. In it, players assume the roles of zoological park curators charged with collecting unique creatures for their parks. They do this by bidding on and drafting creature cards, playing take-that style cards on their opponents, and blocking their cards from being manipulated by others.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup, players choose one hunter card from each of the four hunting zones: Sea, Forest, Plains, and Air, as well as three “Park Closed” cards. The creature cards are to be split by zone and shuffled, with one special card (Turnado and Cat-a-Pult) added. These shuffled decks are then placed on the table and the top card revealed from each deck. Players decide turn order and the game may begin!
Hands are mostly played simultaneously, with players choosing either a hunter or special card from their hand and placing it face-down in front of themselves. All cards are revealed simultaneously and the card effects are applied. If a player has revealed a hunter, and no other players have the same-colored background/terrain type, that player receives the matching card from those on offer and places it in their park (tableau), or ANY OTHER PLAYER’S park. If ALL players have chosen the same terrain type hunters, the card on offer is removed from the game entirely. However, if not all hunters match, but at least one matches, the matching hunters’ players receive no cards.

Should a player choose to play a special card, their effects are triggered once per game. These include Turnado (switch any two creatures in any two parks), Cat-a-Pult (discards any creature from any player’s park), Thieves (steal any one terrain-matching creature and places it in the Thieves player’s park) and Closed Park (protects the player from the effects of aforementioned special cards). Again, these special cards may only be played once per game, so special consideration is needed as part of their strategy.


The game continues in this fashion of players throwing cards, messing with each other using special cards, and protecting themselves from said special cards until only one stack of creature cards remains. The game ends and points are tallied per the scoring table in the rulebook. The winner is promoted to Head Creature Park Guy and is carried around by the other players. Okay, that’s not at all true. They just win the game.
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of Hunters of the Lost Creatures, so all components shown here are subject to change at any time. That said, I received a huge deck of cards in a cute black cloth bag. The cards are all decent quality, and not super glossy, which I appreciate. The art on these cards are all whimsical and silly, which match the silly and punny titles for each. Some of these punny titles can be seen in our photos, with my favorites being the Dandylion (a well-“dressed” weed with a cane and lion face) and the Cougar (which is subtle, but portrays an adult apex big cat with a smaller and younger cat hanging on it). If you enjoy these somewhat intellectual, and sometimes visual, puns you will enjoy these cards.

What I have found in playing through this several times is that it is best when all players are taught the game backwards…ly. I mean to say that players need to know the premise, but most importantly, the scoring system before even the setup. Points are scored for having a run of 1-2-3, a straight of 0-1-2-3-10, at least one card from each terrain type, and for the printed value on the cards. It is more than simply collecting all the favorite cards or even highest value 10 cards. So there is strategy in collecting the best assortment of creatures for scoring purposes, which is great because otherwise this game is not really a game at all.

As players play their hunters to draft creatures, I have found that many players choose to chase the same cards over and over. It becomes obvious that most players will be vying for the value 10 cards, so the players who figure this out and grab the second best card is usually happier with the hand. Of course, more strategy is employed once the special cards are played, as they each mess with opponents in different ways. So even though I may not have acquired that 10 of Forest, I might grab the Turnado and switch out a value 0 or -10 card for that sparkling value 10. Wait, negative 10? Yep. Sometimes life just smacks you around and you get stuck with a -10 card to really punish your great play. Not that it ever happened to me, and not that I would be bitter about it.

The real game hinges on the usage of the special cards. When do you play them? Whom do you target? Turnabout is fair play, after all, and no alliances can be formed whilst playing Hunters of the Lost Creatures. Now, it is hinted at in the rulebook that preview copies ship with entry-level rules, which mean (to me) that more advanced rules may be coming in the final game, or at least some variants to spice up the gameplay. If true, then this game becomes much more interesting to me. Don’t get me wrong. I have enjoyed almost all of my plays, but be warned that playing with spiteful gamers may end poorly for a fun-filled game night.

All in all, I am excited to see how the campaign for Hunters of the Lost Creatures fares, as I believe many gamers and non-gamers alike will enjoy it. I would be super jazzed to grab a final copy if it does in fact ship with alternate or advanced rules, or if the creatures of the same value had unique names and art. That would really satisfy. Keep the bag or go traditional cardboard box, it matters not to me. Just beef up the card quality, add even more uniqueness and fanciful art and you’ve got a fan in me. Grab your copy during the Kickstarter campaign launching May 10, 2022!
  
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
2016 | Action, Sci-Fi
Batfleck (1 more)
It's every comic fan's childhood dream
Sloppy editing (2 more)
Bad performances
Poor script
A Whole Mess Of Awesome
Contains spoilers, click to show
Okay, if you are reading this I assume you have at least read a few other reviews of the movie, as it is all that anyone is talking about online at the minute, so what is left to say I hear you ask? Well first off I’ll give you some context, for the last three years I have been reading and collecting comics to an obsessive level and it is due to this movie. I have always been a superhero fan (especially Batman,) and I had read some comics in the past, but when this movie was announced at San Diego Comic-Con in 2013, (3 years ago!!) I was so hyped and I decided that I had to read the comic that this film was taking inspiration from. So I went to my local A1 Comics and bought The Dark Knight Returns, which underwhelmed me but that’s another story. Since then I have become a huge comic book fan and that is thanks to this movie. Seriously what was not to like here, it would have been so difficult to get this wrong, it’s Batman fighting Superman, how amazing is it that this actually happened? And yet they still managed to fuck it up…

Do you read? You will. And then realise how superior the comic that this is based on is to the actual movie itself, (and I’m not even a massive fan of the comic.)

I saw 10 Cloverfield Lane last week and while that movie wasn’t perfect, what made that a great movie is exactly what makes BvS a subpar movie. 10CL had a small team of people working on a restrictive budget, so every aspect of the movie was scrutinised and perfected to make up the end product and that attention to detail really paid off. BvS had a huge budget and a massive team of people working on it and I think that is what gives the movie it’s unfocused and sloppy feel. The script is a mess, there are clearly scenes cut, the editing is jarring, not all of the performances were up to scratch and while the imagery and visuals are incredible, the best way to describe this movie is all style and no substance. I like Zack Snyder, I love his Watchmen movie, I like 300 and I enjoyed Man of Steel, but I can’t help but feel that this is his fault. His decision to make years of comic book stories into one two and a half hour movie honestly baffles me. The events of this movie should have taken place over at least three movies, which I will discuss more in the spoiler section of this review, so stick around for that if you have seen the movie already. This movie really is all over the place and the pace and tone are random at best and if you have seen the trailers then you have essentially seen the movie. Let’s talk about the best part of the movie, which is quite easily Ben Affleck’s Batman and Jeremy Irons’ Alfred. Seeing the two characters and their chemistry are worth the ticket price of the film alone. This is probably the most faithful to the source material Batman that we have had on the big screen to date, except for one pretty major change. Batman in DoJ is pretty much Punisher in a cowl. During the Batmobile chase (which was really fucking awesome by the way,) he questionably kills some goons. I mean, some of them could have survived like, if they had Wolverine’s healing powers I guess? But then there is that badass warehouse scene that we see in the trailers and during that he near enough shoots some guys himself. If you can get over this and see this as an alternate version of Batman you should be able to appreciate Affleck’s performance though, which by the way is amazing, he knocks it out of the park. I would have liked some kind of reference to it, even a scene where he discusses breaking his code with Alfred, just a few lines would have made me get on board with this version of the character a lot quicker. Critics have been calling Henry Cavil’s Superman performance wooden, but I think that is too harsh, he is perfectly serviceable but he isn’t going to be praised for his memorable performance either. Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman is badass, my only complaint is that she isn’t in the movie enough as Wonder Woman. Jesse Eisenberg is the stand out worst performance in the movie. It isn’t necessarily a bad performance, it just does not fit that character at all. He was truly miscast here, if they had cast him as Riddler in the Batman solo movie and he put in this performance I would be praising him like mad. Lex Luthor shouldn’t be crazy on a surface level, he should be a respectable businessman and an intellectual force to be reckoned with and he will go out of his way to ensure that this is what everyone sees him as, it is only ever the people closest to him that that he allows to see him crack. He certainly shouldn’t be making strange noises and gestures like someone with OCD or a mental issue. Also Doomsday is silly and is just shoehorned in at the end for the sake of giving the trinity and enemy to battle against.

Do you pee? You will. After sitting though near three hours of this garbage.

So to give my overall opinion before I get into spoilers, I will say that I enjoyed this movie better than Man of Steel, but only slightly and I dislike it for a lot of the same reasons. Just like Man of Steel there are parts of this movie that I adored and parts that I hated. Mixed emotions is an understatement. In my mind any movie above a 7 is a great movie and unfortunately I can’t call this a great movie. I fully believe that everyone should see this movie and form their own opinion, especially since reactions have been so mixed, but I felt that it simply didn’t live up to the hype that it set for itself and I feel like Zack Snyder may be doing more harm than good setting up the DCU. 6.5/10.

Do you see? You will. Or at least you better have seen it by now because I am about to spoil the shit out of the whole movie.

Like I said earlier, the events of the movie really should have been split across several movies and explored more rather than rushed through at a breakneck speed. We should have had a whole movie on Batman V Superman, the conflict ideals between them and the discussion of whether or not this world needs a Superman. Then we should have had a movie just based on the dawn of the justice league, with Batman and Superman eventually understanding each other and becoming friends and with way more scenes with Wonder Woman and a proper introduction to the other characters rather than the literal plot device USB stick we got in BvS. Then we should have had a few Justice League movies and once Superman was an established character within the universe, they should have killed him off then and did the Death and Return of Superman story, not in this one where Batman and Wonder Woman hardly know him and the public still don’t know whether he is good or bad. Also if Batman kills now, what reason is there for the Joker to still be alive? The whole point of their relationship is that Batman won’t kill Joker because of his code and Joker won’t kill Batman because he loves fighting him, but if Batman has no code and he has been Batman for years then he really should have killed Joker a long time ago. I did enjoy Batfleck and I am very much looking forward to his solo Batman movie, but BvS is rushed and sloppy. So I’ve said my piece, now let the fanboy hate commence.
  
Rescuing Robin Hood
Rescuing Robin Hood
2021 | Medieval
I have a secret to tell you all. I love the Robin Hood IP, even though my only real knowledge of it comes from the “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” and “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” movies. I have never read the story, nor have I ever watched the Errol Flynn movie. So why do I love Robin Hood so much? I really can’t tell you for sure, it just seems like such a fun theme with lots of characters and an interesting central plot. So how does this quasi-deck-builder fare? Faire? I think fare. Let’s find out.

Rescuing Robin Hood is a cooperative card drafting and deck building game with multiple value usage on each card and, at least in my very first play, the humbling experience of having over 20 guards protecting the Sheriff of Nottingham. Players will win once Robin Hood is rescued, but may achieve an ultimate victory by defeating the Sheriff and his guard detail.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign launching November 10, 2020, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup, follow the setup suggestion in the rulebook. The game should roughly look how it is below in the photo. Roughly. The components include cards for Nottingham Castle, the Sheriff, his guards, Robin Hood, his band of Merry Men, other recruitable villagers, and a Tracker Card. Along with all the cards, inside the box are tracker cubes and ability chips. Once the game is setup, determine the starting player and the game may begin!
A game of Rescuing Robin Hood lasts five rounds (or “days” to rescue the hero from being executed). Each round has players dealing four cards from their draw decks and using these four villagers in conjunction with their chosen Merry Men character card to create values on the Tracker Card for Wit, Stealth, Brawn, and Jolliness. Some villagers or characters will also provide the player with ability chips to be used during the turn. These include Prayer (which can move guards from one group to another, or eliminate a guard entirely – the power of prayer is REAL), Cookery (which can be used to increase the values of Wit, Stealth, or Brawn by +2 for each chip), and Scouting (which allows a player to reveal a face-down guard card in any group).

Once the active player has adjusted all their values they wish, they may now begin attacking guards. Per the setup card for each round a group of guards are holding villagers captive and they must be defeated in order to free the villagers to be recruited to players’ decks. In order to defeat a guard or entire groups of guards, players will be attacking twice using their Wit, Stealth, and/or Brawn values.

To attack with Wit, the active player will determine which group of guards they will attack and target the face-up guard at the end of the group. If defeated, the player will reduce their total Wit by the value of Wit they expended to defeat the first guard. Should they wish to continue attacking guards with Wit, they must state this before flipping the next guard face-up. This adds the push-your-luck element to the game. Should the player wish to stop, the guards are defeated. Should the player bust, the entire collection of guards previously outwitted are added back to the group face-up to be defeated by another player or by the same player using a different attack method.

If the active player wishes to use Stealth to attack guards, they must choose a group of guards and pick them off one by one. Using their total Stealth value and decreasing it with each successful attack, the player will choose one or more (face-up or face-down) guards to attack. Again, should they succeed the guards will be defeated and removed from play. Should the player bust by attempting to pick off too many guards, then all guards are added back to the group face-up.

Using Brawn to attack guards requires the active player to choose a group of guards and attack the ENTIRE group using their Brawn value. Should the player succeed in defeating all guards in the group (no matter the size of the group) then all guards are removed from play. If the player fails, as always, the guards are returned to the group to taunt the next player.

Active players will be able to attack guards twice on a turn but must use two different attack methods. Should the player end their turn with remaining Brawn or Jolliness values, those values will be passed along to the next player in turn order to be used. Additionally, should the next player end their turn with Brawn or Jolliness, they will be passed to the next player and so on.


At the end of each round villagers that were freed of guards during the round will be drafted to players’ decks. At the end of round 2 and 4 players’ decks will be thinned by choosing which villagers stay and which will aid the players in the final round. The final round of Rescuing Robin Hood pits the players against the walls of Nottingham Castle, a Courtyard full of guards, and even Sheriff Nottingham and his personal guards. Again, should the players defeat the Castle walls and Courtyard, they free Robin Hood and win the game. If the players are feeling particularly confident they may also challenge the Sheriff for ultimate victory.
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game using prototype components. That said, the components we received are truly excellent. Firstly, the art style throughout the game is crisp and colorful and a lot of fun. Some of the names of the villagers are downright silly and punny and I absolutely love that. The cards are all wonderful, and the cubes are normal game cubes (not Nintendo-related), and hopefully they will be upgraded via a successful Kickstarter campaign. All in all the components are great and the art is quite enjoyable.

So do I like Rescuing Robin Hood? Oh yes, quite a bit! This game exercises my brain so much without having to labor for minutes on end creating strategies and alternate strategies. I enjoy being able to just barrel into a group of guards and take out the entire swath of them using my extreme Brawniness. Need to pump up before a fight? Well obviously I’ll use up my Jolliness to boost my confidence or narrow my concentration. I purposely omitted several rules so as not to bog down my review any further, but there are so many interesting little flecks of mechanics working together to create a cohesive gaming experience and it is simply delicious.

While Rescuing Robin Hood is not incredibly heavy, there are tons of choices to be made and risks to be taken to achieve ultimate victory. I enjoy being able to tailor my deck with powerful villagers, or specialize in two attack values to unload on guards. Having players that use interesting mixes of Merry Men characters also increases the enjoyment as this game is absolutely cooperative and players may assist each other in many ways. Need some extra Wit for your turn coming up? Here, let me pass along my extra Jolliness to you to use. Want some Cookery too? Go ahead, I’ve got plenty to share. Oh, such great feelings at the table being able to share resources like this.

So I urge you, dear reader, to check out the Kickstarter campaign for Rescuing Robin Hood. If you enjoy lighter (but not tooooo light) cooperative, card drafting, deck building games with a great theme, you need to pick up a copy of Rescuing Robin Hood. I didn’t see Blinkin or Ahchoo in the game, but that’s not to say Castillo Games doesn’t have these hiding in stretch goals (I really don’t know if they are in the plans, but they SHOULD be).