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Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated The Mitchells vs The Machines (2021) in Movies
Aug 11, 2021
I was originally going to post a round up of films I'd seen a just give a quick overview of my thoughts. But as I started writing, this review got longer and longer as I realised that it was okay for me to bore you with me frothing at the mouth with excitement.
Having seen the Connected trailer, as it was previously called, I knew I wanted to see it, and I was fairly certain I was going to enjoy it. It looked funny with some great characters and a nice bit of family drama thrown in. I don't think I was really prepared for how much I was going to enjoy it though.
In a last ditch attempt to spend time with his daughter before she heads off to college, Rick cancels her travel plans in favour of a family road trip. The tensions run high in the car, but that's nothing compared with the robopocalypse that's about to erupt around them... and if the pressure of family bonding wasn't enough, just wait until you're humanities last hope.
The idea behind The Mitchells vs the Machines is really quite nice. Being constantly connected to their devices has meant the divide between tech-phobic dad and digital creative daughter is growing by the day, and all she wants to do is get away. It does make you think about the way you interact with devices, and how reliant on them we've become... but we're not quite at the robot uprising so far... just keep an eye on Alexa.
The Mitchell family voice cast worked great together. I adore Maya Rudolph, and combined with just the right amount of dad from Danny McBride, they made a well balanced parental unit. And Katie (voiced by Abbi Jacobson, who also voices Bean in Disenchantment) was the perfect balance of stubborn teen and living sister.
Of course the obvious MVP of the film is Monchi the dog, voiced by Doug the pug. I will hear no arguments on this point... admittedly, mum does make a last minute surge for the top spot, but Monchi was consistent throughout.
Sony have managed to create a very amusing apocalyptic world. The robot army is great, and the personalities they display are so amusing, but even the other machines within the film have wonderful quirky little characters. The design in the world is magnificent, and well thought out, particularly when we get to the climax of the film.
I genuinely don't have a bad word to say about this film, it was action packed with something for everyone. There's speculation about a second film I believe, but I hope that doesn't develop into anything. Mitchells vs the Machines was a great standalone film, and there's no real follow up potential as it is. Take the win, pick up another idea and run with it.
Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2021/08/the-mitchells-vs-machines-movie-review.html
Having seen the Connected trailer, as it was previously called, I knew I wanted to see it, and I was fairly certain I was going to enjoy it. It looked funny with some great characters and a nice bit of family drama thrown in. I don't think I was really prepared for how much I was going to enjoy it though.
In a last ditch attempt to spend time with his daughter before she heads off to college, Rick cancels her travel plans in favour of a family road trip. The tensions run high in the car, but that's nothing compared with the robopocalypse that's about to erupt around them... and if the pressure of family bonding wasn't enough, just wait until you're humanities last hope.
The idea behind The Mitchells vs the Machines is really quite nice. Being constantly connected to their devices has meant the divide between tech-phobic dad and digital creative daughter is growing by the day, and all she wants to do is get away. It does make you think about the way you interact with devices, and how reliant on them we've become... but we're not quite at the robot uprising so far... just keep an eye on Alexa.
The Mitchell family voice cast worked great together. I adore Maya Rudolph, and combined with just the right amount of dad from Danny McBride, they made a well balanced parental unit. And Katie (voiced by Abbi Jacobson, who also voices Bean in Disenchantment) was the perfect balance of stubborn teen and living sister.
Of course the obvious MVP of the film is Monchi the dog, voiced by Doug the pug. I will hear no arguments on this point... admittedly, mum does make a last minute surge for the top spot, but Monchi was consistent throughout.
Sony have managed to create a very amusing apocalyptic world. The robot army is great, and the personalities they display are so amusing, but even the other machines within the film have wonderful quirky little characters. The design in the world is magnificent, and well thought out, particularly when we get to the climax of the film.
I genuinely don't have a bad word to say about this film, it was action packed with something for everyone. There's speculation about a second film I believe, but I hope that doesn't develop into anything. Mitchells vs the Machines was a great standalone film, and there's no real follow up potential as it is. Take the win, pick up another idea and run with it.
Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2021/08/the-mitchells-vs-machines-movie-review.html
Eleanor Luhar (47 KP) rated The Outs in Books
Jun 24, 2019
Well this was... an interesting read...
Just gonna quickly put a little trigger warning in here, as there is graphic and emotional descriptions of depression and suicide. But the story isn't about these things, and they aren't properly talked about until far later in the novel.
You're thrown right into the deep end from page one, having to put the pieces together as the plot progresses. We meet one of our protagonists, Caleb, in an unfamiliar room with mysterious men and a random little girl. He ends up taking her with him as he runs, trying to figure out what he did during the Outs.
The Outs are kinda confusing. They're moments in time where electrical appliances all fail, and anything that happens is forgotten as soon as the Outs end. Oh, and anyone killed during the Outs is resurrected from the dead.
I'm really not sure how to describe this book. The plot is super confusing - Caleb and his aphasic friend, Kitzi, take this weird little girl (Amanda) who somehow has powers over everyone and everything, in an attempt to stop Deeds and his army of Deadheaders. Caleb has a psychopathic voice in his head called Crimes, Amanda's dreams come true, Kitzi's suicide happens to have taken place at the same time the Outs started, she can smell the truth - and somehow they're all connected to the Outs? These three individuals - and many others along the way - each have a big part in what is happening. But how?
Honestly, I cannot explain it. There are so many little ties and strings throughout this book that all add up, and I couldn't possibly include them all.
It definitely is a unique book. The idea is pretty good, too - the whole "nightmares becoming real" and all. But I just didn't connect; I don't know if it was the pacing or what, but I just didn't feel involved in it.
I feel like I should've been able to sympathise with the characters more - they had good backstories, emotional and family issues that different people should be able to relate to. And the narration following Kitzi often makes references to comic books which I personally really appreciated. But I just didn't quite feel them. Maybe it's just me - there's nothing wrong with the writing in particular, so maybe it's just personal preference. I don't know.
I had a few typos in my copy but I received an ARC, not a final copy, so that shouldn't affect anyone buying the book. I loved the cover, and the art at each chapter start was great. Also, the inclusion of "Notes From Last Night" (a site where people recorded notes during the outs for after they forget) was awesome, too. It added a whole other dimension to the world, an extra little bit of interest.
I wanted to like this, I really did. And I didn't dislike it - but it didn't feel like anything special to me. 3 stars for The Outs.
Just gonna quickly put a little trigger warning in here, as there is graphic and emotional descriptions of depression and suicide. But the story isn't about these things, and they aren't properly talked about until far later in the novel.
You're thrown right into the deep end from page one, having to put the pieces together as the plot progresses. We meet one of our protagonists, Caleb, in an unfamiliar room with mysterious men and a random little girl. He ends up taking her with him as he runs, trying to figure out what he did during the Outs.
The Outs are kinda confusing. They're moments in time where electrical appliances all fail, and anything that happens is forgotten as soon as the Outs end. Oh, and anyone killed during the Outs is resurrected from the dead.
I'm really not sure how to describe this book. The plot is super confusing - Caleb and his aphasic friend, Kitzi, take this weird little girl (Amanda) who somehow has powers over everyone and everything, in an attempt to stop Deeds and his army of Deadheaders. Caleb has a psychopathic voice in his head called Crimes, Amanda's dreams come true, Kitzi's suicide happens to have taken place at the same time the Outs started, she can smell the truth - and somehow they're all connected to the Outs? These three individuals - and many others along the way - each have a big part in what is happening. But how?
Honestly, I cannot explain it. There are so many little ties and strings throughout this book that all add up, and I couldn't possibly include them all.
It definitely is a unique book. The idea is pretty good, too - the whole "nightmares becoming real" and all. But I just didn't connect; I don't know if it was the pacing or what, but I just didn't feel involved in it.
I feel like I should've been able to sympathise with the characters more - they had good backstories, emotional and family issues that different people should be able to relate to. And the narration following Kitzi often makes references to comic books which I personally really appreciated. But I just didn't quite feel them. Maybe it's just me - there's nothing wrong with the writing in particular, so maybe it's just personal preference. I don't know.
I had a few typos in my copy but I received an ARC, not a final copy, so that shouldn't affect anyone buying the book. I loved the cover, and the art at each chapter start was great. Also, the inclusion of "Notes From Last Night" (a site where people recorded notes during the outs for after they forget) was awesome, too. It added a whole other dimension to the world, an extra little bit of interest.
I wanted to like this, I really did. And I didn't dislike it - but it didn't feel like anything special to me. 3 stars for The Outs.
Becs (244 KP) rated Hollow City: The Second Novel of Miss Peregrine's Children in Books
Oct 2, 2019
Hollow City: The Second Novel of Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs
Synopsis: September 3, 1940. Ten peculiar children flee an army of deadly monsters. And only one person can help them—but she’s trapped in the body of a bird. The extraordinary journey that began in Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children continues as Jacob Portman and his newfound friends journey to London, the peculiar capital of the world. There, they hope to find a cure for their beloved headmistress, Miss Peregrine. But in this war-torn city, hideous surprises lurk around every corner. And before Jacob can deliver the peculiar children to safety, he must make an important decision about his love for Emma Bloom.
Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult, Paranormal, Fiction
Audience/Reading Level: Middle School+
Interests: Fantasy, Young Adult, Paranormal
Style: Light Read
Point of View: Third Person
Difficulty Reading: It was a very easy read and know even younger individuals will be able to understand what the underlying meaning of the story is.
Promise: Like its predecessor, this second novel in the Peculiar Children series blends thrilling fantasy with newly discovered (and thoroughly mesmerizing) vintage photography to create a one-of-a-kind reading experience that will delight readers of all ages.
Quality: Like your favorite cake with extra whip cream and ice cream. 😉
Insights: When I first read this series, I read Tales of the Peculiar by Ransom Riggs first to get a better understanding of the characters since I had a feeling that there was going to be a lot of references to it. I was right. I honestly fell in love with this series and love the way that Ransom Riggs writes. It just captures my attention and transports me into a world of fantasy that is a great escape from reality!
Favorite Quotes: “Laughing doesn’t make bad things worse any more than crying makes them better.”
“There was romance in the unknown, but once a place had been discovered and cataloged and mapped, it was diminished, just another dusty fact in a book, sapped of mystery. So maybe it was better to leave a few spots on the map blank. To let the world keep a little of its magic, rather than forcing it to divulge every last secret. Maybe it was better, now and then, to wonder.”
What will you gain: A love of a new fantasy world that will make you wish, you too were a part of the Peculiar children’s world.
Aesthetics: I absolutely love the vintage style this series has. The photographs help give an idea of who and what the characters look like. The way that Ransom Riggs writes, just draws anybody of any age into the plot and storyline, like an enchantment that takes you from the real world, into a world filled with magic, hope, love, and adventure.
“Some truths are expressed best in the form of myth.”
Synopsis: September 3, 1940. Ten peculiar children flee an army of deadly monsters. And only one person can help them—but she’s trapped in the body of a bird. The extraordinary journey that began in Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children continues as Jacob Portman and his newfound friends journey to London, the peculiar capital of the world. There, they hope to find a cure for their beloved headmistress, Miss Peregrine. But in this war-torn city, hideous surprises lurk around every corner. And before Jacob can deliver the peculiar children to safety, he must make an important decision about his love for Emma Bloom.
Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult, Paranormal, Fiction
Audience/Reading Level: Middle School+
Interests: Fantasy, Young Adult, Paranormal
Style: Light Read
Point of View: Third Person
Difficulty Reading: It was a very easy read and know even younger individuals will be able to understand what the underlying meaning of the story is.
Promise: Like its predecessor, this second novel in the Peculiar Children series blends thrilling fantasy with newly discovered (and thoroughly mesmerizing) vintage photography to create a one-of-a-kind reading experience that will delight readers of all ages.
Quality: Like your favorite cake with extra whip cream and ice cream. 😉
Insights: When I first read this series, I read Tales of the Peculiar by Ransom Riggs first to get a better understanding of the characters since I had a feeling that there was going to be a lot of references to it. I was right. I honestly fell in love with this series and love the way that Ransom Riggs writes. It just captures my attention and transports me into a world of fantasy that is a great escape from reality!
Favorite Quotes: “Laughing doesn’t make bad things worse any more than crying makes them better.”
“There was romance in the unknown, but once a place had been discovered and cataloged and mapped, it was diminished, just another dusty fact in a book, sapped of mystery. So maybe it was better to leave a few spots on the map blank. To let the world keep a little of its magic, rather than forcing it to divulge every last secret. Maybe it was better, now and then, to wonder.”
What will you gain: A love of a new fantasy world that will make you wish, you too were a part of the Peculiar children’s world.
Aesthetics: I absolutely love the vintage style this series has. The photographs help give an idea of who and what the characters look like. The way that Ransom Riggs writes, just draws anybody of any age into the plot and storyline, like an enchantment that takes you from the real world, into a world filled with magic, hope, love, and adventure.
“Some truths are expressed best in the form of myth.”
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Loopin' Chewie in Tabletop Games
Aug 21, 2019 (Updated Mar 31, 2021)
Cue the opening crawl! Chewbacca is attempting to take out the entire army of Storm Troopers on his own! Will he succeed, or can you fend him off in this unpredictable family game for 2-3 Storm Troopers?
Loopin’ Chewie is a re-theming of an older game titled Loopin’ Louie. I never played Loopin’ Louie, and I am a fan of Star Wars (not a super duper fan, but I like the series), so when I saw this at Wal-Mart (of all places) I picked it up. For $13. I knew my son would love it, so that’s why I bought it. Yeah, that’s why.
In Loopin’ Chewie the players are supposed to be protecting the Death Star from Chewbacca flying in the Millennium Falcon. Chewie flies around the play area and dives at the players’ Storm Trooper discs trying to cut them down. The players are readied at their own personal station to swat Chewie away and rein terror on their opponents using colorful levers.
To setup the game, assemble the components as instructed in the rule sheet to build a teetering tower of unpredictable Chewbacca Falcon dives. Give each player three Storm Trooper discs to be loaded in their play area, turn on the central motor and the game is off!
Players will be tapping their lever when Chewie dives close to their area in attempts to shoo him away to opponents. Players are eliminated from the round when all three of their Storm Trooper discs have been flattened by Chewbacca. Play continues as players swat Chewie this way and that until one player remains with discs in their area. This player is the victor and will need to accept challenges from their opponents to play just one more round. Again and again.
Components. For a $13 family game from Hasbro found at Wal-Mart, the components here are actually quite stellar. The Chewbacca riding the Millennium Falcon is great, the overall design of the player areas and Storm Trooper discs is wonderful, and I have not had one problem with the motorized components presented. A+ from me on components here.
This is obviously not a gamer’s game, but it certainly is fun when you are playing with other people, especially with children. The sheer joy on their faces is worth everything as Chewie comes attacking and they are able to fend him off and send him your way as you (maybe purposefully) are too slow on the swat and your Storm Troopers are defeated. It is quick, super light, and can effectively work as a filler game, or just something to pull out when you need to entertain the littles for a few minutes. It won’t last throughout an entire nap period, but it will certainly do well to bond with your children (or drinking buddies I guess) over a silly game of Chewbacca pouncing on your Storm Troopers.
If you find this one out in the wild, pick it up. Your kids will thank you.
Loopin’ Chewie is a re-theming of an older game titled Loopin’ Louie. I never played Loopin’ Louie, and I am a fan of Star Wars (not a super duper fan, but I like the series), so when I saw this at Wal-Mart (of all places) I picked it up. For $13. I knew my son would love it, so that’s why I bought it. Yeah, that’s why.
In Loopin’ Chewie the players are supposed to be protecting the Death Star from Chewbacca flying in the Millennium Falcon. Chewie flies around the play area and dives at the players’ Storm Trooper discs trying to cut them down. The players are readied at their own personal station to swat Chewie away and rein terror on their opponents using colorful levers.
To setup the game, assemble the components as instructed in the rule sheet to build a teetering tower of unpredictable Chewbacca Falcon dives. Give each player three Storm Trooper discs to be loaded in their play area, turn on the central motor and the game is off!
Players will be tapping their lever when Chewie dives close to their area in attempts to shoo him away to opponents. Players are eliminated from the round when all three of their Storm Trooper discs have been flattened by Chewbacca. Play continues as players swat Chewie this way and that until one player remains with discs in their area. This player is the victor and will need to accept challenges from their opponents to play just one more round. Again and again.
Components. For a $13 family game from Hasbro found at Wal-Mart, the components here are actually quite stellar. The Chewbacca riding the Millennium Falcon is great, the overall design of the player areas and Storm Trooper discs is wonderful, and I have not had one problem with the motorized components presented. A+ from me on components here.
This is obviously not a gamer’s game, but it certainly is fun when you are playing with other people, especially with children. The sheer joy on their faces is worth everything as Chewie comes attacking and they are able to fend him off and send him your way as you (maybe purposefully) are too slow on the swat and your Storm Troopers are defeated. It is quick, super light, and can effectively work as a filler game, or just something to pull out when you need to entertain the littles for a few minutes. It won’t last throughout an entire nap period, but it will certainly do well to bond with your children (or drinking buddies I guess) over a silly game of Chewbacca pouncing on your Storm Troopers.
If you find this one out in the wild, pick it up. Your kids will thank you.
RAVENMARK: Scourge of Estellion
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50% OFF FOR WWDC! Experience the award-winning wargame, Ravenmark: Scourge of Estellion, where epic...
The Grand Mafia
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6.0
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Join The Grand Mafia Guns Blazing & Carve Out Your Journey To Greatness! ...
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Grow a flourishing civilization and journey through all of human history as the leader of a mighty...
Neil Goddard (3 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies
Feb 27, 2020
It all looked soooo promising
Contains spoilers, click to show
Let me say this upfront; David Harbour looks f---ing boss as Hellboy. The makeup is far superior to that of Ron Perlman, not that there was anything wrong with Ron Perlman’s, but with this new incarnation it’s all in the eyes. Deep red, sunken, pained. Sadly, that is all I can say about this movie that is one hundred percent genuinely positive. There are positives however, but they come with a big ‘however’.
I was initially a little concerned that we were getting a re-boot and not a direct sequel to Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially as it still seemed so recent and was so well made. I know it was over a decade ago but quality is timeless, yeah? Then David Harbour was cast and Neil Marshall announced as director. Great, thought I, an actor I like and a director who’s put out some solid genre material. I saw the first picture of Harbour as Hellboy and I was genuinely excited. I saw the trailer and again, excited. Then I watched the film.
Eurgh, where to start?
Firstly, Ian McShane’s initial voice over is clunky and ill fitting, then they throw in some b@llocks about King Arthur and Excalibur. I had my first wobble here, as some of the effects seemed less than special.
Cue opening titles.
The film starts with a Mexican wrestling match that is purely exposition to let us know Hellboy is a hard drinking and hard fighting anti-hero working for an organisation that deals with the paranormal. The make up for his vampiric opponent is also great (can’t fault the makeup department), but the scene seemed superfluous. We get the nubbin of the story forming now; some horrible witchy wench from way back when was cut into bits and flung around jolly old England to prevent her from spreading a right ‘orrible plague. Turns out a potty-mouthed Liverpudlian pig-monster is collecting said bits in the hope of putting her back together in exchange for his normal appearance. Scouse pig-monster is quite entertaining.
Hellboy goes to England at the request of an upper-class paranormal society to help them kill giants; this goes t1ts up. Again, this seems like unnecessary exposition to introduce Alice, a medium who he rescued as a baby, who now rescues him in a transit van. We also get introduced to M11’s Agent Daimio. There something wrong with him, he keeps injecting himself with a serum to stop something happening. I knew at this point we’d get to see what it was eventually, probably at a juncture where something is needed to rescue someone important. However, at this point I had a feeling it would be bad, I just didn’t know how bad.
There some more fighting, some good effects, some mediocre effects and some terrible effects. There’s some good one-liners, there’s some dull and/or terrible dialogue and then we get the film’s conclusion.
There’s something I’ve been putting off mentioning as I didn’t want the entire review to be about it, and it could have been; the witchy wench at the heart of all this paranormal consternation, Nimue, is played by Milla Jovovich and she is terrible. From when she first opens her mouth to her predictable demise, she is terrible. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
I love some of the Resident Evil films but all she’s required to do is some slow-motion scissor kicks and shoot zombies and zombie-dogs in the face. She is tolerated, rather than enjoyed. Here she is emoting, or at least I think that’s what she was going for, and as a depiction of an evil entity bent of the destruction of all mankind, she is, for want of a better word, cack.
David Harbour and the Hellboy franchise deserve better than this. To be blunt, the franchise has better than this and Mike Mignola should be a bit more f---ing precious with his creation.
Hellboy (2004) was genuinely exciting; it was an origin story that bought that story full circle for its thrilling and apocalyptical conclusion. It has a wonderful nemesis, great support and breath-taking visuals. The re-tread of the origin story in Hellboy (2019) is, again, one more unnecessary diversion from a sketchy plot, which, for all its meagre bones takes a f-ck load of time to tell.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) was equally impressive. It also introduced a fully formed community of creatures and customs hiding alongside mankind. It did so with nonchalant aplomb. Nothing seemed irrelevant or forced. For two films with almost identical running times, Hellboy (2019) tells less of a story with way more waffle.
So, I did mention there were some positives. David Harbour is great. He’s dour, sarcastic, defiant and funny, he just has no engaging story in which to be all those things. Ian McShane is good as the father figure but he is overshadowed by memories of the late, unbelievably great John Hurt. The story of a witch trying to destroy mankind is solid fantasy movie gold and the unleashing of her plague late in the final act is suitably hellish; bizarre demons emerging from city streets and tearing humans limb from limb, it’s bloody wonderful and wonderfully bloody. They all could have come straight out of a Clive Barker fever dream. However, it’s too little too late, by this point in the story we’ve had too many cutaways, too much shoddy CGI, and Agent Daimio stinking up many a scene with his ‘will he won’t he’ turn into something rubbish… he does.
The worst part of all this is I don’t know if they can come back from this. The film may have sunk the franchise at least for the next few years.
I do however, look forward to a re-boot in a decade or so, if we haven’t all been assimilated by aliens, overrun by AI robots or decimated by a supernatural plague bought on by some witchy wench with an axe to grind.
THREE WORD SUMMATION: Big Red Turd.
I was initially a little concerned that we were getting a re-boot and not a direct sequel to Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially as it still seemed so recent and was so well made. I know it was over a decade ago but quality is timeless, yeah? Then David Harbour was cast and Neil Marshall announced as director. Great, thought I, an actor I like and a director who’s put out some solid genre material. I saw the first picture of Harbour as Hellboy and I was genuinely excited. I saw the trailer and again, excited. Then I watched the film.
Eurgh, where to start?
Firstly, Ian McShane’s initial voice over is clunky and ill fitting, then they throw in some b@llocks about King Arthur and Excalibur. I had my first wobble here, as some of the effects seemed less than special.
Cue opening titles.
The film starts with a Mexican wrestling match that is purely exposition to let us know Hellboy is a hard drinking and hard fighting anti-hero working for an organisation that deals with the paranormal. The make up for his vampiric opponent is also great (can’t fault the makeup department), but the scene seemed superfluous. We get the nubbin of the story forming now; some horrible witchy wench from way back when was cut into bits and flung around jolly old England to prevent her from spreading a right ‘orrible plague. Turns out a potty-mouthed Liverpudlian pig-monster is collecting said bits in the hope of putting her back together in exchange for his normal appearance. Scouse pig-monster is quite entertaining.
Hellboy goes to England at the request of an upper-class paranormal society to help them kill giants; this goes t1ts up. Again, this seems like unnecessary exposition to introduce Alice, a medium who he rescued as a baby, who now rescues him in a transit van. We also get introduced to M11’s Agent Daimio. There something wrong with him, he keeps injecting himself with a serum to stop something happening. I knew at this point we’d get to see what it was eventually, probably at a juncture where something is needed to rescue someone important. However, at this point I had a feeling it would be bad, I just didn’t know how bad.
There some more fighting, some good effects, some mediocre effects and some terrible effects. There’s some good one-liners, there’s some dull and/or terrible dialogue and then we get the film’s conclusion.
There’s something I’ve been putting off mentioning as I didn’t want the entire review to be about it, and it could have been; the witchy wench at the heart of all this paranormal consternation, Nimue, is played by Milla Jovovich and she is terrible. From when she first opens her mouth to her predictable demise, she is terrible. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
I love some of the Resident Evil films but all she’s required to do is some slow-motion scissor kicks and shoot zombies and zombie-dogs in the face. She is tolerated, rather than enjoyed. Here she is emoting, or at least I think that’s what she was going for, and as a depiction of an evil entity bent of the destruction of all mankind, she is, for want of a better word, cack.
David Harbour and the Hellboy franchise deserve better than this. To be blunt, the franchise has better than this and Mike Mignola should be a bit more f---ing precious with his creation.
Hellboy (2004) was genuinely exciting; it was an origin story that bought that story full circle for its thrilling and apocalyptical conclusion. It has a wonderful nemesis, great support and breath-taking visuals. The re-tread of the origin story in Hellboy (2019) is, again, one more unnecessary diversion from a sketchy plot, which, for all its meagre bones takes a f-ck load of time to tell.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) was equally impressive. It also introduced a fully formed community of creatures and customs hiding alongside mankind. It did so with nonchalant aplomb. Nothing seemed irrelevant or forced. For two films with almost identical running times, Hellboy (2019) tells less of a story with way more waffle.
So, I did mention there were some positives. David Harbour is great. He’s dour, sarcastic, defiant and funny, he just has no engaging story in which to be all those things. Ian McShane is good as the father figure but he is overshadowed by memories of the late, unbelievably great John Hurt. The story of a witch trying to destroy mankind is solid fantasy movie gold and the unleashing of her plague late in the final act is suitably hellish; bizarre demons emerging from city streets and tearing humans limb from limb, it’s bloody wonderful and wonderfully bloody. They all could have come straight out of a Clive Barker fever dream. However, it’s too little too late, by this point in the story we’ve had too many cutaways, too much shoddy CGI, and Agent Daimio stinking up many a scene with his ‘will he won’t he’ turn into something rubbish… he does.
The worst part of all this is I don’t know if they can come back from this. The film may have sunk the franchise at least for the next few years.
I do however, look forward to a re-boot in a decade or so, if we haven’t all been assimilated by aliens, overrun by AI robots or decimated by a supernatural plague bought on by some witchy wench with an axe to grind.
THREE WORD SUMMATION: Big Red Turd.