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LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985) in Movies
Nov 6, 2020
One of my favourite parts is the bit where the creepy dude looks straight into the camera and say "Schnitzeeeel".
Honestly not sure if Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (Stirba, Werewolf Bitch in some corners of the world) is a 5 star film, or a 1 star film.
I always have time for Christopher Lee, and here is no different, and Sybil Danning is a bonafide B-Movie icon, but everyone else is hamming it up to the max (not necessarily in a good way), spouting the terrible screenplay and making silly growling noises constantly.
The werewolf costumes look terrible (a bit of googling told me that the production was sent monkey suits by mistake, and they just had to roll with it) and the movie constantly attempts to force it's theme tune down your throat - I lost count of how many times it plays throughout the runtime, but it starts off well enough, but by the end of the film it's grating as fuck.
It's certainly a far cry from the genuinely good first movie but for all it's faults, I actually really enjoyed it.
The last review I wrote on here was for Species IV, where I commented on how it was so awful, and had no charm to it at all, which was in stark contrast to a lot of bad horror movies, especially a bunch from the 80s. Howling II is one of those movies.
It rarely gets boring, it's has some decent practical gore effects, and the terrible script is often so ludicrous, it ends up being unintentional comedy gold.
Not to mention that it's has the most unnecessarily gratuitous end credits roll I've ever seen - in fact, if you can't be bothered to watch the whole thing, just find the end credits and you'll get the vibe of this whole glorious mess of a film.
So yeah, is it a 1 star movie or 5 star movie? I still don't know but I know I low key love it, so 2 and a half stars with a love heart seems fair. I'd definitely recommend giving it a watch though, just to experience the sheer cheesy absurdity.
Honestly not sure if Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf (Stirba, Werewolf Bitch in some corners of the world) is a 5 star film, or a 1 star film.
I always have time for Christopher Lee, and here is no different, and Sybil Danning is a bonafide B-Movie icon, but everyone else is hamming it up to the max (not necessarily in a good way), spouting the terrible screenplay and making silly growling noises constantly.
The werewolf costumes look terrible (a bit of googling told me that the production was sent monkey suits by mistake, and they just had to roll with it) and the movie constantly attempts to force it's theme tune down your throat - I lost count of how many times it plays throughout the runtime, but it starts off well enough, but by the end of the film it's grating as fuck.
It's certainly a far cry from the genuinely good first movie but for all it's faults, I actually really enjoyed it.
The last review I wrote on here was for Species IV, where I commented on how it was so awful, and had no charm to it at all, which was in stark contrast to a lot of bad horror movies, especially a bunch from the 80s. Howling II is one of those movies.
It rarely gets boring, it's has some decent practical gore effects, and the terrible script is often so ludicrous, it ends up being unintentional comedy gold.
Not to mention that it's has the most unnecessarily gratuitous end credits roll I've ever seen - in fact, if you can't be bothered to watch the whole thing, just find the end credits and you'll get the vibe of this whole glorious mess of a film.
So yeah, is it a 1 star movie or 5 star movie? I still don't know but I know I low key love it, so 2 and a half stars with a love heart seems fair. I'd definitely recommend giving it a watch though, just to experience the sheer cheesy absurdity.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Army of the Dead (2021) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
A gory Zombie-rich take on Oceans 11.
Zac Snyder’s glossy zombie flick is a valiant attempt, and it has its moments. The story neatly blends a zombie apocalypse with an “Oceans” heist movie. You even get some stirring “Die Hard”-style vault opening music! But a weak script and a flabby running time make this rather hard work to get through in one sitting. If Snyder could get a bit of self-control and come out with a nice 100-minute movie, he’d get more of my vote.
Positives:
Park brain at door. You gotta love the splatter-fest of a zombie-movie once in a while, and this one delivers a lot of requisite gore and a zombie white tiger to boot! You have to admit that Zack Snyder does have an eye for style. There are some neat moments in this… like when the casino power comes back on and the silence is filled with that familiar slot machine noise and Elvis track that you only ever hear at scale in Vegas!
Dave Bautista is nearly always either in an ensemble piece or a bit-part “heavy” – the only other film I can immediately think of is the (very funny) comedy “Stuber“. He’s seldom the lead. But, understanding that the script is horribly vomit-inducing in places, he’s pretty good in this. I also liked Ella Purnell who plays his daughter, although couldn’t get over how much she looks like Olivia Cooke!
The special effects and prosthetics work is pretty impressive. This would have been good to see on the big screen.
Negatives:
Interspersed amongst the (often entertaining) action sequences are some horribly soupy sections of dialogue where the forward momentum of the movie completely stalls.
Some of the acting is on the decidedly ropey side and makes the glossy piece feel more like a B-movie.
A number of elements of the story really don’t make sense. The most blatant happens at the end: Tanaka could have got the money anyway!
At nearly two and a half hours, it’s another Snyder bladder-tester.
Positives:
Park brain at door. You gotta love the splatter-fest of a zombie-movie once in a while, and this one delivers a lot of requisite gore and a zombie white tiger to boot! You have to admit that Zack Snyder does have an eye for style. There are some neat moments in this… like when the casino power comes back on and the silence is filled with that familiar slot machine noise and Elvis track that you only ever hear at scale in Vegas!
Dave Bautista is nearly always either in an ensemble piece or a bit-part “heavy” – the only other film I can immediately think of is the (very funny) comedy “Stuber“. He’s seldom the lead. But, understanding that the script is horribly vomit-inducing in places, he’s pretty good in this. I also liked Ella Purnell who plays his daughter, although couldn’t get over how much she looks like Olivia Cooke!
The special effects and prosthetics work is pretty impressive. This would have been good to see on the big screen.
Negatives:
Interspersed amongst the (often entertaining) action sequences are some horribly soupy sections of dialogue where the forward momentum of the movie completely stalls.
Some of the acting is on the decidedly ropey side and makes the glossy piece feel more like a B-movie.
A number of elements of the story really don’t make sense. The most blatant happens at the end: Tanaka could have got the money anyway!
At nearly two and a half hours, it’s another Snyder bladder-tester.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Underwater (2020) in Movies
Feb 16, 2020 (Updated Feb 16, 2020)
Frenetic action in murky water - baffling (2 more)
Scientific inconsistencies
Waterlogged Alien wannabe
Soggy and forgettable
I had a sinking feeling (excuse the pun) about this movie from the word go. It's a lazy approach to 'mansplain' the whole set up for the movie through digital news posts during the main titles. It feels more patronising to the audience than having main titles and then a 'Star Wars-style' synopsis.
Once into the movie, director William Eubank gives us the bare minimum of character set-up for our heroine while she brushes her teeth*. (And no way did she even follow the British Dental Association recommendation of two minutes brushing!) (* Interestingly, the trailer seems to show some above water scenes/dialogue and introductions to the rest of the crew that never made the final cut.)
And then....
BAM!!!
I was thinking that the manic action that follows was some sort of dream or flashback. But no. We are pitched headlong into the story without pause as disaster strikes. It all feels positively indecent.
For we are seven miles down in the Mariana trench, when a drilling station springs a leak.
Now call me a cynic, but I would have *thought* that, at that depth, a single leak would implode the whole station in about 10 seconds flat. But then that wouldn't be cinematic enough, and would be a much shorter movie!
And there are numerous other scientific implausibilities. For example, diving helmets that appear to be able to withstand 15,750 psi of pressure (I Googled it) can be smashed-in by a woman by just bashing it.
Sigh.
We are in 'Alien-lite' territory again. Just as in last year's "The Meg", those pesky humans have disturbed something in its home territory.... and it's suitably pissed-off. The action centres on hippy-chick engineer Norah (Kristen Stewart). The script neatly describes her as a "flat-chested elfin creature"... a fact which every male in the audience has thought (come on guys, admit it , you did!) from the immediately preceding scene.
It was never entirely clear to me what skills Norah was supposed to have.... it seemed to flex from diving to electrical engineering to computer engineering.
Stewart is a handy actress to have in a movie, but here she is mostly relegated to lots of shots of her athletic body running through corridors in her skimpy crop-top and knickers.
Supporting Stewart are veteran French actor Vincent Cassel as the mission captain; "the funny one" Paul (T.J. Miller); the trusty male action figure Smith (John Gallagher Jr.); and Emily - the 'less-flat chested but screamy one' (Jessica Henwick). Emily also gets to run around in a T-shirt and knickers: you kind of quickly get to know the audience the film is trying to appeal to.
As will be obvious if you've seen any of these types of film before, not all of these folks are going to make it.
As this movie is presumably filmed in a small water tank in a Louisiana studio. Clearly the memo said "fill it with murky water so the audience can't see the sides". "And just for good measure, let's film it with hand-help rapidly moving cameras". The result is that a lot of the time, when there was a burst of frenetic underwater action, I had NO IDEA what was actually going on.
In this way, the movie reminded me of the shark B-movie "47 Metres Down" from a few years ago.
This is certainly not "Alien". Although similarly set, this is not "The Abyss" either. It's most similar perhaps to "Life", but without the clever twist ending.
It's also not a truly TERRIBLE movie either. But unfortunately this is one of the most "meh" action movies I've seen in the past year. It's just brain-crushingly forgettable.
There was only one vaguely memorable shot in the whole movie: a final shot of Kristen Stewart. But that just serves to make me think.... 'Stewart deserves much better than this'.
For a movie concerning itself with a lack of oxygen, watching this felt like a waste of it.
(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/02/15/one-manns-movies-film-review-underwater-2020/ ).
Once into the movie, director William Eubank gives us the bare minimum of character set-up for our heroine while she brushes her teeth*. (And no way did she even follow the British Dental Association recommendation of two minutes brushing!) (* Interestingly, the trailer seems to show some above water scenes/dialogue and introductions to the rest of the crew that never made the final cut.)
And then....
BAM!!!
I was thinking that the manic action that follows was some sort of dream or flashback. But no. We are pitched headlong into the story without pause as disaster strikes. It all feels positively indecent.
For we are seven miles down in the Mariana trench, when a drilling station springs a leak.
Now call me a cynic, but I would have *thought* that, at that depth, a single leak would implode the whole station in about 10 seconds flat. But then that wouldn't be cinematic enough, and would be a much shorter movie!
And there are numerous other scientific implausibilities. For example, diving helmets that appear to be able to withstand 15,750 psi of pressure (I Googled it) can be smashed-in by a woman by just bashing it.
Sigh.
We are in 'Alien-lite' territory again. Just as in last year's "The Meg", those pesky humans have disturbed something in its home territory.... and it's suitably pissed-off. The action centres on hippy-chick engineer Norah (Kristen Stewart). The script neatly describes her as a "flat-chested elfin creature"... a fact which every male in the audience has thought (come on guys, admit it , you did!) from the immediately preceding scene.
It was never entirely clear to me what skills Norah was supposed to have.... it seemed to flex from diving to electrical engineering to computer engineering.
Stewart is a handy actress to have in a movie, but here she is mostly relegated to lots of shots of her athletic body running through corridors in her skimpy crop-top and knickers.
Supporting Stewart are veteran French actor Vincent Cassel as the mission captain; "the funny one" Paul (T.J. Miller); the trusty male action figure Smith (John Gallagher Jr.); and Emily - the 'less-flat chested but screamy one' (Jessica Henwick). Emily also gets to run around in a T-shirt and knickers: you kind of quickly get to know the audience the film is trying to appeal to.
As will be obvious if you've seen any of these types of film before, not all of these folks are going to make it.
As this movie is presumably filmed in a small water tank in a Louisiana studio. Clearly the memo said "fill it with murky water so the audience can't see the sides". "And just for good measure, let's film it with hand-help rapidly moving cameras". The result is that a lot of the time, when there was a burst of frenetic underwater action, I had NO IDEA what was actually going on.
In this way, the movie reminded me of the shark B-movie "47 Metres Down" from a few years ago.
This is certainly not "Alien". Although similarly set, this is not "The Abyss" either. It's most similar perhaps to "Life", but without the clever twist ending.
It's also not a truly TERRIBLE movie either. But unfortunately this is one of the most "meh" action movies I've seen in the past year. It's just brain-crushingly forgettable.
There was only one vaguely memorable shot in the whole movie: a final shot of Kristen Stewart. But that just serves to make me think.... 'Stewart deserves much better than this'.
For a movie concerning itself with a lack of oxygen, watching this felt like a waste of it.
(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/02/15/one-manns-movies-film-review-underwater-2020/ ).
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