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Jacob Reese (14 KP) rated Ad Astra (2019) in Movies
Jun 21, 2020
Good and Bad
Overall not a terrible movie. I think it did one thing really well and one not so well. The look at loneliness in space and the journey of a man to find the father who left him. These are powerful emotions and feeling that I personally relate to and I'm sure there are many others that also relate to this. This is what Ad Astra does really well. However, the overall story is rather lacking in depth other than that.
Christine and the Queens recommended Bad by Michael Jackson in Music (curated)
Sarah (7800 KP) rated The Meg (2018) in Movies
May 10, 2019
Isn’t even entertainingly bad
You know to have low expectations when watching a Jason Statham film, especially one about giant sharks. I had hoped for something similar to Sharknado, a proper cheesy laughingly bad B movie, but sadly The Meg can’t even live up to these very low standards.
For starters, I don’t think this film has any idea what it’s meant to be. Is it serious, is it silly? It ends up being a bizarre mixture of the two which just doesn’t work as both aspects just seem out of place. Whilst I absolutely love the Thai version of Mickey that plays over the end credits, again it kind of seems a bit confused. The script is awful, and the acting for the most part is horrendous. I wanted it to be entertainingly bad, but sadly it was just cringeworthy to the point I was almost embarrassed for them. The only person who comes out of this relatively unscathed is Cliff Curtis as Mac, who is at least pretty funny although sadly underused. Also, what on earth was going on with Jason Statham’s accent? Was it English or American?! And then there’s the plot. It’s very predictable, the first hour is ridiculously dull and then changes into completely farce and unbelievability at the end, with stupid characters doing silly things that just don’t make any sense. Even the CGI was average and nothing exceptional.
I really wanted to like this, at least in a “it’s so bad it’s good” way, but sadly this is just plain old bad.
For starters, I don’t think this film has any idea what it’s meant to be. Is it serious, is it silly? It ends up being a bizarre mixture of the two which just doesn’t work as both aspects just seem out of place. Whilst I absolutely love the Thai version of Mickey that plays over the end credits, again it kind of seems a bit confused. The script is awful, and the acting for the most part is horrendous. I wanted it to be entertainingly bad, but sadly it was just cringeworthy to the point I was almost embarrassed for them. The only person who comes out of this relatively unscathed is Cliff Curtis as Mac, who is at least pretty funny although sadly underused. Also, what on earth was going on with Jason Statham’s accent? Was it English or American?! And then there’s the plot. It’s very predictable, the first hour is ridiculously dull and then changes into completely farce and unbelievability at the end, with stupid characters doing silly things that just don’t make any sense. Even the CGI was average and nothing exceptional.
I really wanted to like this, at least in a “it’s so bad it’s good” way, but sadly this is just plain old bad.
Veronica Pena (690 KP) rated Nobody's Fool (2018) in Movies
Feb 9, 2020 (Updated Feb 9, 2020)
This move was profoundly bad. I don't know if there are any other words to it, it was horrendous. There were definitely some funny parts but it was more because Tiffany Haddish was making a fool of herself and less because the jokes were actually funny.
I know that Tyler Perry is revolutionary and whatever, but the more of his movies you watch, the more it's just blatantly obvious how much they are all the same. I love that he writes and produces and directs, I think that's great, but when all his characters are the same, especially his women, it just gets tiresome. This idea that Missi Pyle's character is supposed to be this hardworking, self-made, independent woman who does everything a man does when she's trying to decide between Charlie and Frank, it just felt fake, and it made her so unlikeable and unrelatable. I don't know a single woman who would play those men the way that she did. And Amber Riley's character? She was a horrible friend. If I saw my friend acting the way Danica was, I would tell her to get it together and stop being so rude to Frank.
I think the best performance in this movie was Mechad Brooks - I think he was funny and his jokes landed. But other than that, it was just bad. That cameo from Chris Rock too? Unnecessary. The plot was just incoherent, the acting was bad, the character development was bad, it was all bad.
I know that Tyler Perry is revolutionary and whatever, but the more of his movies you watch, the more it's just blatantly obvious how much they are all the same. I love that he writes and produces and directs, I think that's great, but when all his characters are the same, especially his women, it just gets tiresome. This idea that Missi Pyle's character is supposed to be this hardworking, self-made, independent woman who does everything a man does when she's trying to decide between Charlie and Frank, it just felt fake, and it made her so unlikeable and unrelatable. I don't know a single woman who would play those men the way that she did. And Amber Riley's character? She was a horrible friend. If I saw my friend acting the way Danica was, I would tell her to get it together and stop being so rude to Frank.
I think the best performance in this movie was Mechad Brooks - I think he was funny and his jokes landed. But other than that, it was just bad. That cameo from Chris Rock too? Unnecessary. The plot was just incoherent, the acting was bad, the character development was bad, it was all bad.
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Fantastic Four (2005) in Movies
Mar 10, 2020
About As Memorable As My Last Poop
Based on the long-running comic book, four people are given superpowers when they come in contact with cosmic energy out in space.
Acting: 7
Beginning: 5
Not exactly how you start a movie. Definitely could have scored this lower, but there was at least a glimmer of hope shown in the first ten minutes that told me this movie wouldn’t be a total waste of space. Still, my hopes weren’t high.
Characters: 3
I had some issues here, but I struggled with my scoring. Reason being, I LOVE the comic book characters and appreciate their depth. Yeah, none of that is shown in this movie. The characters aren’t layered, rather they have mere personality types, none of which I was really in love with. They made Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) an over-the-top dick while Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd), the brains of the group, can’t understand the concept of normal social interaction to save his life. I won’t even waste time profiling the other lame-duck characters. You get the point.
Cinematography/Visuals: 2
Conflict: 2
Entertainment Value: 0
At no point during Fantastic Four did I ever say, “Ok, we might have something here.” It was bad on top of bad from beginning to end. Just an unapologetic dumpster fire. Sitting through this movie again is what I envision Hell to be like.
Memorability: 5
Pace: 4
Talk about a slow-moving film. Not only does it take forever for scenes to get to the point, but they divert off into random tangents that ultimately amount to nothing. This is a don’t-pause-when-you-go-to-the-bathroom movie. Drove me crazy.
Plot: 2
There is a scene that happens on a bridge where people need saving. Not only do all four of the superheroes magically end up on the bridge at the same time (they weren’t together previously), but Thing’s wife shows up as well just to walk away in shame because of how gross he’s become. I laughed my ass off! And that should tell you enough about what I think of the plot.
Resolution: 4
I give it a four because it ended. No, the ending wasn’t any better than the rest of the movie, but damnit, it ended and the fact that it finally came to a close put me out of my misery.
Overall: 34
There are bad movies that make me want to stop watching and reviewing movies altogether because of how horrible they are. And then there’s Fantastic Four. This movie is torture to the millionth degree.
Acting: 7
Beginning: 5
Not exactly how you start a movie. Definitely could have scored this lower, but there was at least a glimmer of hope shown in the first ten minutes that told me this movie wouldn’t be a total waste of space. Still, my hopes weren’t high.
Characters: 3
I had some issues here, but I struggled with my scoring. Reason being, I LOVE the comic book characters and appreciate their depth. Yeah, none of that is shown in this movie. The characters aren’t layered, rather they have mere personality types, none of which I was really in love with. They made Johnny Storm (Chris Evans) an over-the-top dick while Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd), the brains of the group, can’t understand the concept of normal social interaction to save his life. I won’t even waste time profiling the other lame-duck characters. You get the point.
Cinematography/Visuals: 2
Conflict: 2
Entertainment Value: 0
At no point during Fantastic Four did I ever say, “Ok, we might have something here.” It was bad on top of bad from beginning to end. Just an unapologetic dumpster fire. Sitting through this movie again is what I envision Hell to be like.
Memorability: 5
Pace: 4
Talk about a slow-moving film. Not only does it take forever for scenes to get to the point, but they divert off into random tangents that ultimately amount to nothing. This is a don’t-pause-when-you-go-to-the-bathroom movie. Drove me crazy.
Plot: 2
There is a scene that happens on a bridge where people need saving. Not only do all four of the superheroes magically end up on the bridge at the same time (they weren’t together previously), but Thing’s wife shows up as well just to walk away in shame because of how gross he’s become. I laughed my ass off! And that should tell you enough about what I think of the plot.
Resolution: 4
I give it a four because it ended. No, the ending wasn’t any better than the rest of the movie, but damnit, it ended and the fact that it finally came to a close put me out of my misery.
Overall: 34
There are bad movies that make me want to stop watching and reviewing movies altogether because of how horrible they are. And then there’s Fantastic Four. This movie is torture to the millionth degree.
Awix (3310 KP) rated Geostorm (2017) in Movies
Feb 7, 2018 (Updated Feb 7, 2018)
Gerard Butles With The Elements
It's a movie directed by the producer of The Day After Tomorrow and 2012, in which Gerard Butler is shot into space to have a fight with bad weather. If the description alone does not make you engage in fairly serious expectation-management, you must be new to this whole going-to-the-movies business.
Um, yeah: Gerard Butler plays a brilliant but maverick meteorologist (stay with me) who invents a global weather control system codenamed 'Dutch Boy' (possibly because the satellites are really high all the time), then gets sacked for being a pain in the neck. Years later, the system starts to go wrong (unimportant people like Afghans and Chinese meet spectacular weather-related deaths) and Butler is recruited by his brother (don't ask) to figure out the problem.
There is a lot of chasing about and a conspiracy and the world's most oddly designed self-destruct system, and the villain turns out to be the person you thought it was all the time. Butler spends most of the movie in space, which at least means Abbie Cornish can do more as a member of the Secret Service who ends up kidnapping the President (it's that kind of movie). Geostorm hasn't quite figured out how to handle having the President as a character in a movie in the current situation: Andy Garcia plays him in a very sensible, nondescript manner, quite divorced from reality.
I have to say a friend of mine said Geostorm was so bad it made London Has Fallen look like a Christopher Nolan movie, but it's not so much flat-out awful as simply very silly, obvious, and predictable, not to mention very much like all the other movies Dean Devlin produced for Roland Emmerich. I suppose the moral should be 'stick to what you're (reasonably) good at'.
Um, yeah: Gerard Butler plays a brilliant but maverick meteorologist (stay with me) who invents a global weather control system codenamed 'Dutch Boy' (possibly because the satellites are really high all the time), then gets sacked for being a pain in the neck. Years later, the system starts to go wrong (unimportant people like Afghans and Chinese meet spectacular weather-related deaths) and Butler is recruited by his brother (don't ask) to figure out the problem.
There is a lot of chasing about and a conspiracy and the world's most oddly designed self-destruct system, and the villain turns out to be the person you thought it was all the time. Butler spends most of the movie in space, which at least means Abbie Cornish can do more as a member of the Secret Service who ends up kidnapping the President (it's that kind of movie). Geostorm hasn't quite figured out how to handle having the President as a character in a movie in the current situation: Andy Garcia plays him in a very sensible, nondescript manner, quite divorced from reality.
I have to say a friend of mine said Geostorm was so bad it made London Has Fallen look like a Christopher Nolan movie, but it's not so much flat-out awful as simply very silly, obvious, and predictable, not to mention very much like all the other movies Dean Devlin produced for Roland Emmerich. I suppose the moral should be 'stick to what you're (reasonably) good at'.
Steven Sklansky (231 KP) rated The Snowman (2017) in Movies
Oct 19, 2017
Not enough suspense (2 more)
poor twist
Plot that just didn't fit or make sense
The Movie that Melted Away
The Snowman was not put together very well. Just like the snowmen that were built in the movie They were missing a lot. No carrot for the noise, no coal for the eyes and not enough suspense to keep me gripped to my seat. I walked in to this movie thinking this would be a thriller, with twists and turns. Right out of the box at the little boys house with the mom was so down played. They could have add a little bit more of a score to show how dramatic the situation was. This was kind of the theme the whole movie.
The acting was actually strong, but the story was not written very well, there were no twists and turns. The flipping from present to past and back was done very poorly and hard to follow sometimes. The characters were not built up to understand their whole story.
The deaths in the movie were not presented very well, I thought there was going to be more bodies stuck in snowmen, but it seemed that the snowmen were more to show that bad things are going to happen. The way the women were murder was so boring. I get what the killer was going for and his MO was very standard, but the presentation could have been so much better.
The one thing that I actually liked was the location that they shot the movie in. It looked very classic with the snow. The landscape and the way they used it in the story was very good.
I had such high hopes for this movie, but by the end of the movie my hope melted away like a snowman at the end of winter.
The acting was actually strong, but the story was not written very well, there were no twists and turns. The flipping from present to past and back was done very poorly and hard to follow sometimes. The characters were not built up to understand their whole story.
The deaths in the movie were not presented very well, I thought there was going to be more bodies stuck in snowmen, but it seemed that the snowmen were more to show that bad things are going to happen. The way the women were murder was so boring. I get what the killer was going for and his MO was very standard, but the presentation could have been so much better.
The one thing that I actually liked was the location that they shot the movie in. It looked very classic with the snow. The landscape and the way they used it in the story was very good.
I had such high hopes for this movie, but by the end of the movie my hope melted away like a snowman at the end of winter.
TacoDave (3826 KP) rated Funhouse (2019) in Movies
Feb 15, 2022 (Updated Feb 15, 2022)
Editing (2 more)
Writing
Acting (mostly)
This movie is better than it has any right to be...
Contains spoilers, click to show
I like to watch bad horror movies. I'm not sure why. I'm not a big fan of many modern horror movies (often referred to as "torture porn") like Hostel and Saw, but rather I like small, independent horror movies that focus on a single central conceit.
I go into these movies with rock-bottom expectations, hoping against hope that they will be slightly better than expected. "Funhouse" was suprisingly entertaining, when compared to similar genre films.
The premise is simple: eight wannabe famous people (think: influencers, normal people who married celebrities, low-level MMA fighters, etc.) sign up for a reality TV show in the vein of Big Brother where they will be locked in a house together and voted out by the public.
There's one catch, of course: the guy running the show - who uses a digital avatar of a panda to speak to the "contestants" - is a nutjob and the loser of the public vote gets killed in a gruesome way.
Is it real? Is it fake entertainment for the online era? Will reacters on Youtube believe it is real? How does society treat the death of someone who really, really wants to be famous, but is only barely-known?
These questions are good ones and the movie doesn't shy away from them. In fact, after each "kill" there is a cut to people in the real world reacting to it that gives the movie a lot more nuance than a typical horror film.
The kills are very graphic and gruesome and I actually looked away for a couple of them because (as I said before) I'm not a fan of torture porn. And there is some female nudity in the movie, specifically when one character decides to strip to earn viewer votes to stay alive.
Still, all in all I was entertained. And that's all I wanted for those 90 minutes - to shut off my logical brain and just watch something different. This movie fit the bill.
I go into these movies with rock-bottom expectations, hoping against hope that they will be slightly better than expected. "Funhouse" was suprisingly entertaining, when compared to similar genre films.
The premise is simple: eight wannabe famous people (think: influencers, normal people who married celebrities, low-level MMA fighters, etc.) sign up for a reality TV show in the vein of Big Brother where they will be locked in a house together and voted out by the public.
There's one catch, of course: the guy running the show - who uses a digital avatar of a panda to speak to the "contestants" - is a nutjob and the loser of the public vote gets killed in a gruesome way.
Is it real? Is it fake entertainment for the online era? Will reacters on Youtube believe it is real? How does society treat the death of someone who really, really wants to be famous, but is only barely-known?
These questions are good ones and the movie doesn't shy away from them. In fact, after each "kill" there is a cut to people in the real world reacting to it that gives the movie a lot more nuance than a typical horror film.
The kills are very graphic and gruesome and I actually looked away for a couple of them because (as I said before) I'm not a fan of torture porn. And there is some female nudity in the movie, specifically when one character decides to strip to earn viewer votes to stay alive.
Still, all in all I was entertained. And that's all I wanted for those 90 minutes - to shut off my logical brain and just watch something different. This movie fit the bill.
Joseph Rogers (13 KP) rated Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019) in Movies
Jan 14, 2020
Another Star Wars Movie, And It's Great!
The Good:
The saga is over and we finally know where Rey comes from! Would have preferred not to have known but who cares!
A lot of people dislike this movie, almost more than Last Jedi I feel but I take it for what it is: a Star Wars movie. If they didn't make it people would be mad but they did and you can dislike the movie but it's the facetious reviews I can't stand.
We see a lot of older characters return and it really felt like a reunion of old and new.
The Bad:
The editing felt really wonky in places, the first 30mins alone was too much to handle in one sitting (had to see it twice).
I did feel like they suffered slightly by getting a different director in for Last Jedi as they're bound to have a different outlook on Star Wars. That's not discrediting Rian Johnson's directing at all. I'm just a purest and completeist, if you're going to start a trilogy with one director, keep that director for the rest of the movies.
All in all a movie worth watching over and over if you're a star wars fan. I tend to rate a movie 10/10 if it's part of a franchise like star wars that I know I'd watch over and over but as it just came out I'll leave it at 9 for now 😉
The saga is over and we finally know where Rey comes from! Would have preferred not to have known but who cares!
A lot of people dislike this movie, almost more than Last Jedi I feel but I take it for what it is: a Star Wars movie. If they didn't make it people would be mad but they did and you can dislike the movie but it's the facetious reviews I can't stand.
We see a lot of older characters return and it really felt like a reunion of old and new.
The Bad:
The editing felt really wonky in places, the first 30mins alone was too much to handle in one sitting (had to see it twice).
I did feel like they suffered slightly by getting a different director in for Last Jedi as they're bound to have a different outlook on Star Wars. That's not discrediting Rian Johnson's directing at all. I'm just a purest and completeist, if you're going to start a trilogy with one director, keep that director for the rest of the movies.
All in all a movie worth watching over and over if you're a star wars fan. I tend to rate a movie 10/10 if it's part of a franchise like star wars that I know I'd watch over and over but as it just came out I'll leave it at 9 for now 😉
Charlie Cobra Reviews (1840 KP) rated Maggie (2015) in Movies
Nov 1, 2020
Maggie: More Drama Then Zombies In This Zombie Film (4/10)
Contains spoilers, click to show
Maggie is a 2015 Horror/Drama film directed by Henry Hobson and written by John Scott 3. It was produced by Grindstone Entertainment Group, Gold Star Films, Lotus Entertainment, Silver Reel, Matt Baer Films and Sly Predator and distributed by Lionsgate Films and Roadside Attractions. The movie stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Abigail Breslin, and Joely Richardson.
Society struggles to function in the aftermath of a zombie pandemic (Necroambulism) barely under control in the present-day Midwestern United States. Maggie's father Wade (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has searched two weeks for her, finally finding her in a hospital for the infected. Maggie Vogel (Abigail Breslin) had left a voicemail urging that he not seek her and that she loved him. Her arm was bitten and knowing she has only weeks before the "Necroambulist virus" turns her cannibalistic, she left home to protect her family. He brings Maggie home to care for her until she must eventually be quarantined.
As far as zombie movies go, this was a big let down. At first I thought the title was a red flag because what zombie movie would be called "Maggie" right? Well, I was right, not much of a zombie movie. And I was excited going into it too because Arnold was the most serious I've seen him in a role, like possibly ever. He did a great job and actually all the actors did a decent job, it's just the movie turned into a complete drama film and not a zombie movie at all. It was more of a coming to terms of the death of a person then about survival horror or anything close to it. If your looking for a really tame zombie movie then this is your jam. For me I was so disappointed because it's an ok movie on it's own and pretty emotional but just not for me. I give it a 4/10. And suggest if your are looking for a good zombie movie to watch, you skip this one.
Spoiler Section Review:
Man, I was so hyped for this movie. Arnold Schwarzenegger in a zombie movie, hell yeah. And that other girl Abigail Breslin from Zombieland, I was like this is going to be cool. From the trailer, I already knew that this looked like it was going to be a more serious tone kind of movie and very emotional but what a let down. I mean I was so disappointed in this movie. I was hoping it would be an "Arnold" kind of movie but it was more of an "indie" film. It was very emotional as it would be because the character's are dealing with death in a very surreal way and having a long time to contemplate everything about it. Very different from most zombie movies and really somber. Not a bad movie but not what I look for in a good zombie movie. That first zombie scene with Arnold and the zombie in the restroom was probably the best part of the movie and it sucked. Arnold kills the zombie by choking it or breaking it's neck from choking it. I mean c'mon, you can't kill zombies that way. Anyways I gave this movie a 4/10 and suggest watching a different zombie movie if you want to see something entertaining.
Society struggles to function in the aftermath of a zombie pandemic (Necroambulism) barely under control in the present-day Midwestern United States. Maggie's father Wade (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has searched two weeks for her, finally finding her in a hospital for the infected. Maggie Vogel (Abigail Breslin) had left a voicemail urging that he not seek her and that she loved him. Her arm was bitten and knowing she has only weeks before the "Necroambulist virus" turns her cannibalistic, she left home to protect her family. He brings Maggie home to care for her until she must eventually be quarantined.
As far as zombie movies go, this was a big let down. At first I thought the title was a red flag because what zombie movie would be called "Maggie" right? Well, I was right, not much of a zombie movie. And I was excited going into it too because Arnold was the most serious I've seen him in a role, like possibly ever. He did a great job and actually all the actors did a decent job, it's just the movie turned into a complete drama film and not a zombie movie at all. It was more of a coming to terms of the death of a person then about survival horror or anything close to it. If your looking for a really tame zombie movie then this is your jam. For me I was so disappointed because it's an ok movie on it's own and pretty emotional but just not for me. I give it a 4/10. And suggest if your are looking for a good zombie movie to watch, you skip this one.
Spoiler Section Review:
Man, I was so hyped for this movie. Arnold Schwarzenegger in a zombie movie, hell yeah. And that other girl Abigail Breslin from Zombieland, I was like this is going to be cool. From the trailer, I already knew that this looked like it was going to be a more serious tone kind of movie and very emotional but what a let down. I mean I was so disappointed in this movie. I was hoping it would be an "Arnold" kind of movie but it was more of an "indie" film. It was very emotional as it would be because the character's are dealing with death in a very surreal way and having a long time to contemplate everything about it. Very different from most zombie movies and really somber. Not a bad movie but not what I look for in a good zombie movie. That first zombie scene with Arnold and the zombie in the restroom was probably the best part of the movie and it sucked. Arnold kills the zombie by choking it or breaking it's neck from choking it. I mean c'mon, you can't kill zombies that way. Anyways I gave this movie a 4/10 and suggest watching a different zombie movie if you want to see something entertaining.