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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies
Apr 17, 2019 (Updated Apr 17, 2019)
The script (4 more)
The CGI
The editing
The performances
Everything else
Actual Hell
If the Hellboy 2019 movie has one thing going for it, it's that it's impressive. It is impressive in the sense that it actually made me question the futility of time and why I was wasting my short time on this earth watching this atrocious piece of trash. There were several times when I was watching the film that I actually couldn't bring myself to believe how bad what I was witnessing onscreen really was. This might be the worst film I have ever seen.
It has without a doubt taken the crown of the worst superhero movie ever made from Fan4stic and is downright insulting. I cannot believe that they chose to make this dogshit over another one with Ron Perlman and Del Toro. Almost every single aspect of this movie is garbage and there are hardly any redeeming features.
Let's talk about the main character, this movie's version of Hellboy. We all knew going in that David Harbour had some pretty big shoes to fill left by Perlman and in Harbour's defence, pretty much the only slightly positive aspect of this thing is the fact that you can tell that Harbour is doing the very best with the piss poor material he has been given to work with. Most of his lines are awful and the way that his character is written as a moaning, whiny bitch is actually insulting to the character. Also, the excessive makeup he is wearing means that he is hardly able to emote with his mouth. When he is talking, his mouth simply opens and closes like a puppet and it is painfully obvious that the dialogue has been dubbed in later and it's not even been done very well. The other slight positive in this movie is seeing Hellboy in his full demonic getup with long horns and donning the flaming crown and sword was pretty cool, unfortunately this is only a fleeting glimpse of coolness before we get right back to the crap.
The other memorable part of the Del Toro Hellboy movies was the endearing supporting cast, unfortunately they have been substituted with an insufferable lot of replacements. The actress playing Alice may give the worst performance that I have ever seen in a comic book movie, (and I saw Polar!) Every single line that she uttered was extremely cringe-worthy and poorly delivered. Daniel Dae Kim was almost as bad as Hellboy's other sidekick. Again, a lot of his lines were ADR'd in later and it is really shoddily done. Ian McShane plays Broom, the scientist that found Hellboy and adopted him and he is sleepwalking his way through this role for the sake of an easy paycheck. As is Milla Jovovich, she plays a stereotypical villainous witch and she does nothing here that we haven't seen her do before in other movies.
Over my years of watching almost every comic book movie that releases, I have seen my fair share of cheap, cartoony looking CGI, but this takes the cake. Almost every scene in the movie features some kind of CGI creature and they are all on a similar level of quality to an unfinished student project. One of the moments it really stood out was the giant fight, where we were subjected to not only one bad CGI giant, but three of them. The scene is also shot in broad daylight, which really does the bad CGI no favours. Not once, did anything in this movie look better than anything in the Del Toro movies which came out 10+ years ago.
I'm going to spoil something here, because seriously who gives a fuck at this point? The absolute worst part of CGI though in the entire movie, is undoubtedly during one of the final scenes in the movie where Ian McShane comes back to speak to Hellboy as a ghost. The CG in this scene is genuinely on par with the Rock's CG in in the Scorpion King. Yes, it really is that bad.
The soundtrack is so misused here also. The songs themselves that are featured are all half decent songs, but they do not work in the context of this film and they add absolutely nothing to the scenes that they are used in. The editing is also horrible, there were several times that I was reminded of the cheap editing in shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
The last thing that I want to talk about is the tone and humour, (or lack of,) present throughout the film. The movie opens with a flashback scene showing King Arthur chopping up the witch. The scene is being narrated by Ian McShane and it is chock-full of diabolically awful dialogue and insufferably cheesy line delivery. Whilst watching it I thought, "Oh they are really hamming it up here and going for a really corny tone for these flashback scenes." I then swiftly came to the soul-crushing conclusion that no, this was how the next 2 hours of this movie was going to go. The awful sense of humour is actually comparable to that in a poor quality kids film, with gross out burp and kiss jokes to boot. What happened to the darker, more horror orientated tone that we were teased with when the movie was in pre-production? Any semblance of that is sorely lacking here and it is a shame because I would have quite liked to have seen that movie and there is a good chance that it would have been a lot better than this dumpster fire.
Overall, please don't see this unless you hate yourself. It is two hours of your life that would be better spent doing literally anything else. At the end it has the audacity to tease a sequel which, (if there is a God,) will never happen.
It has without a doubt taken the crown of the worst superhero movie ever made from Fan4stic and is downright insulting. I cannot believe that they chose to make this dogshit over another one with Ron Perlman and Del Toro. Almost every single aspect of this movie is garbage and there are hardly any redeeming features.
Let's talk about the main character, this movie's version of Hellboy. We all knew going in that David Harbour had some pretty big shoes to fill left by Perlman and in Harbour's defence, pretty much the only slightly positive aspect of this thing is the fact that you can tell that Harbour is doing the very best with the piss poor material he has been given to work with. Most of his lines are awful and the way that his character is written as a moaning, whiny bitch is actually insulting to the character. Also, the excessive makeup he is wearing means that he is hardly able to emote with his mouth. When he is talking, his mouth simply opens and closes like a puppet and it is painfully obvious that the dialogue has been dubbed in later and it's not even been done very well. The other slight positive in this movie is seeing Hellboy in his full demonic getup with long horns and donning the flaming crown and sword was pretty cool, unfortunately this is only a fleeting glimpse of coolness before we get right back to the crap.
The other memorable part of the Del Toro Hellboy movies was the endearing supporting cast, unfortunately they have been substituted with an insufferable lot of replacements. The actress playing Alice may give the worst performance that I have ever seen in a comic book movie, (and I saw Polar!) Every single line that she uttered was extremely cringe-worthy and poorly delivered. Daniel Dae Kim was almost as bad as Hellboy's other sidekick. Again, a lot of his lines were ADR'd in later and it is really shoddily done. Ian McShane plays Broom, the scientist that found Hellboy and adopted him and he is sleepwalking his way through this role for the sake of an easy paycheck. As is Milla Jovovich, she plays a stereotypical villainous witch and she does nothing here that we haven't seen her do before in other movies.
Over my years of watching almost every comic book movie that releases, I have seen my fair share of cheap, cartoony looking CGI, but this takes the cake. Almost every scene in the movie features some kind of CGI creature and they are all on a similar level of quality to an unfinished student project. One of the moments it really stood out was the giant fight, where we were subjected to not only one bad CGI giant, but three of them. The scene is also shot in broad daylight, which really does the bad CGI no favours. Not once, did anything in this movie look better than anything in the Del Toro movies which came out 10+ years ago.
I'm going to spoil something here, because seriously who gives a fuck at this point? The absolute worst part of CGI though in the entire movie, is undoubtedly during one of the final scenes in the movie where Ian McShane comes back to speak to Hellboy as a ghost. The CG in this scene is genuinely on par with the Rock's CG in in the Scorpion King. Yes, it really is that bad.
The soundtrack is so misused here also. The songs themselves that are featured are all half decent songs, but they do not work in the context of this film and they add absolutely nothing to the scenes that they are used in. The editing is also horrible, there were several times that I was reminded of the cheap editing in shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
The last thing that I want to talk about is the tone and humour, (or lack of,) present throughout the film. The movie opens with a flashback scene showing King Arthur chopping up the witch. The scene is being narrated by Ian McShane and it is chock-full of diabolically awful dialogue and insufferably cheesy line delivery. Whilst watching it I thought, "Oh they are really hamming it up here and going for a really corny tone for these flashback scenes." I then swiftly came to the soul-crushing conclusion that no, this was how the next 2 hours of this movie was going to go. The awful sense of humour is actually comparable to that in a poor quality kids film, with gross out burp and kiss jokes to boot. What happened to the darker, more horror orientated tone that we were teased with when the movie was in pre-production? Any semblance of that is sorely lacking here and it is a shame because I would have quite liked to have seen that movie and there is a good chance that it would have been a lot better than this dumpster fire.
Overall, please don't see this unless you hate yourself. It is two hours of your life that would be better spent doing literally anything else. At the end it has the audacity to tease a sequel which, (if there is a God,) will never happen.
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Bad Boys II (2003) in Movies
Apr 2, 2020
Decent but Definitely the Worst of the Trilogy
Narcotics detectives Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) are back getting into a heap of shit as they try and take down an ecstasy ring.
Acting: 9
You have to love the performances of Lawrence and Smith as they know how to carry a movie between the two of them. Their chemistry is amazing and they do a wonderful job of balancing each other out, particularly in this film were Smith is more of a shoot-first type while Lawrence’s role is about finding peace and zen. Joe Pantoliano makes a return as Captain Howard, making me crack up everytime he opens his mouth to yell at Lowrey and Burnett for screwing up yet again.
The one role I just couldn’t let sneak past was Jordi Molla playing Johnny Tapia. Terrible doesn’t even begin to describe his performance. It feels too cliche and way overdone, detracting from important scenes at times. Wasn’t a fan in the slightest.
Beginning: 7
While I did appreciate the action at the beginning of the movie, there was just too much going on for me to really settle in and get into it. It’s hard to really understand up from down in the first ten minutes which carries on as the movie progresses as well. Less can be more sometimes, but it feels like in this instance, director Michael Bay called for more of everything.
Characters: 9
Cinematography/Visuals: 6
Bad Boys II has its moments cinematically. The mortuary scene and the scene in the abandoned house are two that really stand out for me. They were shot in such a way that they are hard to forget. From an overall standpoint, I am not a fan of the overdose of slowmo that Bay loves to do. It becomes tedious to the brain and drags the movie out longer than it needs to be. And this movie already has enough time constraints as it is.
Conflict: 10
Action abounds in this second installment from shootouts to car chases to explosions on top of explosions. If you are an action junky, this movie will not disappoint. As much as I rag on Bay (and, no he’s not my favorite director), he knows how to make a scene pop and make traditional action sets feel extremely original. Even as I’m typing this, I can’t forget the highway scene where the bad guys have hijacked a car-carrying truck and they start to release the cars as they speed down the highway. It’s absolute calamity.
Entertainment Value: 7
Memorability: 8
Pace: 7
Bay does his best to keep things fresh, but it’s hard to hide from the fact that this is all about action then dialogue then right back to action. It gets a bit repetitive at times, but I will also admit that it may have something to do with the fact that I’ve watched a shit ton of movies recently (what else is new?). When Cuba gets mentioned and you realize the movie is only two thirds of the way over when it should be finished, that’s when things really slowed down for me even more. You can absolutely cut thirty minutes from this movie and it would be phenomenal, possibly a classic.
Plot: 6
Decent enough story, but nothing that’s going to win an Oscar. I felt corners were cut in spots as there were times where I was trying to figure out, “Why the hell is this happening now?” I also didn’t appreciate some of the cheats, which is a term I use to refer to spots in the movie that conveniently happen for the sake of it being a good scene. Again, cut a half hour of this movie and I might be feeling differently overall.
Resolution: 4
The end was not only mad corny, but it didn’t feel like a real resolution. Not sure what they were going for here, but it didn’t work. The end didn’t really justify the length of what it took to get there.
Overall: 73
I know I know. You read through this review and it almost sounds like I hated Bad Boys II. Truth is, it wasn’t terrible. Would it be the first action movie I recommend? Absolutely not. On the flipside, I can definitely think of many that were worse. At the risk of losing all credibility (as if I had any to begin with), I actually enjoyed this movie more than I did The French Connection. Fight me.
Acting: 9
You have to love the performances of Lawrence and Smith as they know how to carry a movie between the two of them. Their chemistry is amazing and they do a wonderful job of balancing each other out, particularly in this film were Smith is more of a shoot-first type while Lawrence’s role is about finding peace and zen. Joe Pantoliano makes a return as Captain Howard, making me crack up everytime he opens his mouth to yell at Lowrey and Burnett for screwing up yet again.
The one role I just couldn’t let sneak past was Jordi Molla playing Johnny Tapia. Terrible doesn’t even begin to describe his performance. It feels too cliche and way overdone, detracting from important scenes at times. Wasn’t a fan in the slightest.
Beginning: 7
While I did appreciate the action at the beginning of the movie, there was just too much going on for me to really settle in and get into it. It’s hard to really understand up from down in the first ten minutes which carries on as the movie progresses as well. Less can be more sometimes, but it feels like in this instance, director Michael Bay called for more of everything.
Characters: 9
Cinematography/Visuals: 6
Bad Boys II has its moments cinematically. The mortuary scene and the scene in the abandoned house are two that really stand out for me. They were shot in such a way that they are hard to forget. From an overall standpoint, I am not a fan of the overdose of slowmo that Bay loves to do. It becomes tedious to the brain and drags the movie out longer than it needs to be. And this movie already has enough time constraints as it is.
Conflict: 10
Action abounds in this second installment from shootouts to car chases to explosions on top of explosions. If you are an action junky, this movie will not disappoint. As much as I rag on Bay (and, no he’s not my favorite director), he knows how to make a scene pop and make traditional action sets feel extremely original. Even as I’m typing this, I can’t forget the highway scene where the bad guys have hijacked a car-carrying truck and they start to release the cars as they speed down the highway. It’s absolute calamity.
Entertainment Value: 7
Memorability: 8
Pace: 7
Bay does his best to keep things fresh, but it’s hard to hide from the fact that this is all about action then dialogue then right back to action. It gets a bit repetitive at times, but I will also admit that it may have something to do with the fact that I’ve watched a shit ton of movies recently (what else is new?). When Cuba gets mentioned and you realize the movie is only two thirds of the way over when it should be finished, that’s when things really slowed down for me even more. You can absolutely cut thirty minutes from this movie and it would be phenomenal, possibly a classic.
Plot: 6
Decent enough story, but nothing that’s going to win an Oscar. I felt corners were cut in spots as there were times where I was trying to figure out, “Why the hell is this happening now?” I also didn’t appreciate some of the cheats, which is a term I use to refer to spots in the movie that conveniently happen for the sake of it being a good scene. Again, cut a half hour of this movie and I might be feeling differently overall.
Resolution: 4
The end was not only mad corny, but it didn’t feel like a real resolution. Not sure what they were going for here, but it didn’t work. The end didn’t really justify the length of what it took to get there.
Overall: 73
I know I know. You read through this review and it almost sounds like I hated Bad Boys II. Truth is, it wasn’t terrible. Would it be the first action movie I recommend? Absolutely not. On the flipside, I can definitely think of many that were worse. At the risk of losing all credibility (as if I had any to begin with), I actually enjoyed this movie more than I did The French Connection. Fight me.
Steven Sklansky (231 KP) rated Logan (2017) in Movies
Sep 21, 2017
Old Man Logan (2 more)
Amazing R rated comic book movie
Amazing story
One of the best Marvel movies
Contains spoilers, click to show
Oh my god, this was fantastic. I knew this was going to be a amazing movie going in but it just blew my mind. I never thought we were going to get an Old Man Logan. But Hugh Jackman played the role in away I didn't see coming. From the opening scene inside the limo was the best. Logan was so angry but he really didn't want to bust out the claws. But when you are push to the brink anger just pops out. It was the first time I think I have ever seen blood in an X-men movie. It just got so much better after that.
The addition of Professor X was kind of crazy. I didn't know how it would play out but him being bat shit crazy was a totally different side of him that worked. He really helped show the human side of being a mutant and show Logan there can be peaceful side of life. Them helping the farmer was one of the best scenes in the movie because it helped Logan bring out the human in him and not just his animal instincts.
The little girl that played X-23 was great. I did not know a girl could play anger so well. And that her parents would let her decapitate someone. I really hope they do a full X-23 movie with her grown up, I think it will help keep the series alive.
The death of Logan and Charles hit me so hard. I grew up watching these characters grow and get old and it was very sad to see it end. Logan's burial was done so fast but the kids had to escape, I do wish there was a little more to it and more of a score. But overall fantastic ending to a great Wolverine.
If you didn't see this movie in the theater that's to bad. If you haven't seen at all go see this movie now.
The addition of Professor X was kind of crazy. I didn't know how it would play out but him being bat shit crazy was a totally different side of him that worked. He really helped show the human side of being a mutant and show Logan there can be peaceful side of life. Them helping the farmer was one of the best scenes in the movie because it helped Logan bring out the human in him and not just his animal instincts.
The little girl that played X-23 was great. I did not know a girl could play anger so well. And that her parents would let her decapitate someone. I really hope they do a full X-23 movie with her grown up, I think it will help keep the series alive.
The death of Logan and Charles hit me so hard. I grew up watching these characters grow and get old and it was very sad to see it end. Logan's burial was done so fast but the kids had to escape, I do wish there was a little more to it and more of a score. But overall fantastic ending to a great Wolverine.
If you didn't see this movie in the theater that's to bad. If you haven't seen at all go see this movie now.
Charlie Cobra Reviews (1840 KP) rated Shaft (2019) in Movies
Jul 7, 2020
Shaft Gets The Shaft In This Newest Reboot/Update
Shaft is a 2019 action/comedy movie directed by Tim Story and written by Kenya Barris. This film was produced by New Line Cinema and distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. It stars Samuel L. Jackson, Jessie Usher, Regina Hall, Alexandra Shipp, and Richard Roundtree.
After a failed assassination attempt, Maya Babanikos (Regina Hall), his wife, leaves Shaft (Samuel L. Jackson) and takes their son, John "JJ." Shaft Jr., to raise on her own. 25 years later, Karim (Avan Jogia), a childhood friend of "JJ"'s, dies of a heroin overdose. JJ who is a cyber security expert and FBI Agent concludes he must have been murdered. After being violently ejected by drug dealers when investigating who sold the heroin that killed his friend; he is left with no other recourse but turn to his father, Shaft, for help.
This movie was a lot different from how I remember the last one which came out in 2000. I remember that one being more serious and more thriller, where they were trying to catch the bad guy. This one seemed to make too light of the action but did deliver on the laughs occasionally. Also I don't remember the last film being as "adult" when it came to language or nudity either, but I like how the movie acknowledged the main characters dialogue when his son tries to talk like him. Jessie Usher was very funny as JJ but I personally felt that he was trying to act like Nick Canon, which if that's what they were going for, they could have got him instead. It's an ok movie if your looking for something funny with action and don't care about things like story telling, plot, and the characters walking around with "plot armor". All in all, this movie was good but nothing special, I would just wait for it to go to dollar movies, red box or Netflix instead of wasting money at the movies. Of course if you need your fix of Samuel L. Jackson, then you might want to give this movie a shot. I remember the last one being a lot better. I give this movie a 5/10.
After a failed assassination attempt, Maya Babanikos (Regina Hall), his wife, leaves Shaft (Samuel L. Jackson) and takes their son, John "JJ." Shaft Jr., to raise on her own. 25 years later, Karim (Avan Jogia), a childhood friend of "JJ"'s, dies of a heroin overdose. JJ who is a cyber security expert and FBI Agent concludes he must have been murdered. After being violently ejected by drug dealers when investigating who sold the heroin that killed his friend; he is left with no other recourse but turn to his father, Shaft, for help.
This movie was a lot different from how I remember the last one which came out in 2000. I remember that one being more serious and more thriller, where they were trying to catch the bad guy. This one seemed to make too light of the action but did deliver on the laughs occasionally. Also I don't remember the last film being as "adult" when it came to language or nudity either, but I like how the movie acknowledged the main characters dialogue when his son tries to talk like him. Jessie Usher was very funny as JJ but I personally felt that he was trying to act like Nick Canon, which if that's what they were going for, they could have got him instead. It's an ok movie if your looking for something funny with action and don't care about things like story telling, plot, and the characters walking around with "plot armor". All in all, this movie was good but nothing special, I would just wait for it to go to dollar movies, red box or Netflix instead of wasting money at the movies. Of course if you need your fix of Samuel L. Jackson, then you might want to give this movie a shot. I remember the last one being a lot better. I give this movie a 5/10.
Charlie Cobra Reviews (1840 KP) rated Krypton in TV
Jul 7, 2020
Krypton Is No Kryptonite, Despite No Supes
Shaft is a 2019 action/comedy movie directed by Tim Story and written by Kenya Barris. This film was produced by New Line Cinema and distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. It stars Samuel L. Jackson, Jessie Usher, Regina Hall, Alexandra Shipp, and Richard Roundtree.
After a failed assassination attempt, Maya Babanikos (Regina Hall), his wife, leaves Shaft (Samuel L. Jackson) and takes their son, John "JJ." Shaft Jr., to raise on her own. 25 years later, Karim (Avan Jogia), a childhood friend of "JJ"'s, dies of a heroin overdose. JJ who is a cyber security expert and FBI Agent concludes he must have been murdered. After being violently ejected by drug dealers when investigating who sold the heroin that killed his friend; he is left with no other recourse but turn to his father, Shaft, for help.
This movie was a lot different from how I remember the last one which came out in 2000. I remember that one being more serious and more thriller, where they were trying to catch the bad guy. This one seemed to make too light of the action but did deliver on the laughs occasionally. Also I don't remember the last film being as "adult" when it came to language or nudity either, but I like how the movie acknowledged the main characters dialogue when his son tries to talk like him. Jessie Usher was very funny as JJ but I personally felt that he was trying to act like Nick Canon, which if that's what they were going for, they could have got him instead. It's an ok movie if your looking for something funny with action and don't care about things like story telling, plot, and the characters walking around with "plot armor". All in all, this movie was good but nothing special, I would just wait for it to go to dollar movies, red box or Netflix instead of wasting money at the movies. Of course if you need your fix of Samuel L. Jackson, then you might want to give this movie a shot. I remember the last one being a lot better. I give this movie a 5/10.
After a failed assassination attempt, Maya Babanikos (Regina Hall), his wife, leaves Shaft (Samuel L. Jackson) and takes their son, John "JJ." Shaft Jr., to raise on her own. 25 years later, Karim (Avan Jogia), a childhood friend of "JJ"'s, dies of a heroin overdose. JJ who is a cyber security expert and FBI Agent concludes he must have been murdered. After being violently ejected by drug dealers when investigating who sold the heroin that killed his friend; he is left with no other recourse but turn to his father, Shaft, for help.
This movie was a lot different from how I remember the last one which came out in 2000. I remember that one being more serious and more thriller, where they were trying to catch the bad guy. This one seemed to make too light of the action but did deliver on the laughs occasionally. Also I don't remember the last film being as "adult" when it came to language or nudity either, but I like how the movie acknowledged the main characters dialogue when his son tries to talk like him. Jessie Usher was very funny as JJ but I personally felt that he was trying to act like Nick Canon, which if that's what they were going for, they could have got him instead. It's an ok movie if your looking for something funny with action and don't care about things like story telling, plot, and the characters walking around with "plot armor". All in all, this movie was good but nothing special, I would just wait for it to go to dollar movies, red box or Netflix instead of wasting money at the movies. Of course if you need your fix of Samuel L. Jackson, then you might want to give this movie a shot. I remember the last one being a lot better. I give this movie a 5/10.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Ghost Rider (2007) in Movies
Jun 28, 2019 (Updated Jun 28, 2019)
Just...so bad
Ghost Rider was one of the many terrible Marvel adaptions that were unleashed upon us before Marvel Studios started the MCU, and for me, this is easily one of the worst.
There's just nothing to really get excited about here - the cast is pretty dodgy (I appreciate Nicholas Cages general existence, but he's such a bad fit for Johnny Blaze), Eva Mendes is pretty forgettable, and Wes Bentley plays a hugely generic villain - a far cry from the demonic Blackheart from the comics.
It's quite obvious that any meaningful script or basic plot were put second behind attempts at flashy shots.
The CGI has aged pretty badly as well, with Ghost Rider himself looking like something from a PS3 era cutscenes, rather than a big budget superhero film.
I can't wait for a proper Ghost Rider adaption to happen within the MCU in the future (Agents of Shield made a pretty good start) but unfortunately, Johnny Blaze was one of the many Marvel characters that got a piss poor movie around this time.
There's just nothing to really get excited about here - the cast is pretty dodgy (I appreciate Nicholas Cages general existence, but he's such a bad fit for Johnny Blaze), Eva Mendes is pretty forgettable, and Wes Bentley plays a hugely generic villain - a far cry from the demonic Blackheart from the comics.
It's quite obvious that any meaningful script or basic plot were put second behind attempts at flashy shots.
The CGI has aged pretty badly as well, with Ghost Rider himself looking like something from a PS3 era cutscenes, rather than a big budget superhero film.
I can't wait for a proper Ghost Rider adaption to happen within the MCU in the future (Agents of Shield made a pretty good start) but unfortunately, Johnny Blaze was one of the many Marvel characters that got a piss poor movie around this time.
Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) in Movies
Sep 16, 2019
Pranked By Arnold
This is one of the baddest movies that Stallone has been in. Its so bad that its good?
The plot: Smarting from a romantic breakup, macho police Sgt. Joe Bomowski (Sylvester Stallone) gets a cross-country visit from his mother, Tutti (Estelle Getty). Her misguided efforts to help only fray his nerves, but that doesn't stop her from nagging Joe to be more open about his feelings toward his ex-girlfriend and current boss, Lt. Gwen Harper (JoBeth Williams). When Tutti witnesses a brutal multiple murder, she takes her meddling to the extreme by tagging along to help her son solve the case.
Sylvester Stallone signed onto the film based on rumors that Arnold Schwarzenegger was interested in the lead. In October 2017, Schwarzenegger confirmed a rumor that, knowing the script was "really bad", he had publicly faked interest in starring for producers to lure Stallone.
So Arnold pranked Stallone to get him into this movie that is so funny.
Dont watch this film, its not good.
The plot: Smarting from a romantic breakup, macho police Sgt. Joe Bomowski (Sylvester Stallone) gets a cross-country visit from his mother, Tutti (Estelle Getty). Her misguided efforts to help only fray his nerves, but that doesn't stop her from nagging Joe to be more open about his feelings toward his ex-girlfriend and current boss, Lt. Gwen Harper (JoBeth Williams). When Tutti witnesses a brutal multiple murder, she takes her meddling to the extreme by tagging along to help her son solve the case.
Sylvester Stallone signed onto the film based on rumors that Arnold Schwarzenegger was interested in the lead. In October 2017, Schwarzenegger confirmed a rumor that, knowing the script was "really bad", he had publicly faked interest in starring for producers to lure Stallone.
So Arnold pranked Stallone to get him into this movie that is so funny.
Dont watch this film, its not good.
TacoDave (3952 KP) rated Wonder Park (2019) in Movies
Mar 18, 2019
Kind of inoffensive? (1 more)
Animation is fine
The plot (2 more)
The concept
The execution
Horrible Park
Contains spoilers, click to show
I have five kids. So I've seen a ton of kids' movies. Some are good, some are bad, and some are meh. "Wonder Park" falls completely and stubbornly into the bottom range of Meh. It's not so bad that you hate yourself for watching it, but it isn't even interesting enough to hold your attention for the 80-minute runtime.
"Wonder Park" is about an imaginary amusement park called Wonderland (they never explain the discrepancy in name versus the name of the movie) invented by a young girl. She talks about the park, she draws pictures of it, she makes models of it, and she creates new rides with the help of her mom.
Unfortunately, in a real downer of a plotline, her mom gets sick with an unnamed illness and has to go away to see specialists somewhere. This makes the girl depressed, which makes her stop using her imagination, which makes her stop caring about Wonderland.
Then, in a situation that makes no sense, she hops off of a bus on the way to Math Camp, takes off on her own through the woods, and stumbles onto a real-life version of Wonderland run by real talking animals. Except there's a problem: Wonderland is being destroyed by a big black cloud and a sea of stuffed monkeys.
The girl eventually realizes (duh!) that the black cloud is basically her sadness, and to save the park she has to learn to use her imagination again. So she does. Then she leaves the park, goes back home, and her mom is magically better from the illness and everyone presumably lives happily ever after.
It's a neat concept (kid creates amusement park!) with bad execution, a terrible story, and too much depression for a kids' movie. Plus it wraps up too neatly. And it isn't funny. And I literally almost fell asleep watching it.
If you have to see a family movie, you can do a lot better than this one. I wouldn't even recommend renting it from Redbox. It is that bland and inoffensive.
"Wonder Park" is about an imaginary amusement park called Wonderland (they never explain the discrepancy in name versus the name of the movie) invented by a young girl. She talks about the park, she draws pictures of it, she makes models of it, and she creates new rides with the help of her mom.
Unfortunately, in a real downer of a plotline, her mom gets sick with an unnamed illness and has to go away to see specialists somewhere. This makes the girl depressed, which makes her stop using her imagination, which makes her stop caring about Wonderland.
Then, in a situation that makes no sense, she hops off of a bus on the way to Math Camp, takes off on her own through the woods, and stumbles onto a real-life version of Wonderland run by real talking animals. Except there's a problem: Wonderland is being destroyed by a big black cloud and a sea of stuffed monkeys.
The girl eventually realizes (duh!) that the black cloud is basically her sadness, and to save the park she has to learn to use her imagination again. So she does. Then she leaves the park, goes back home, and her mom is magically better from the illness and everyone presumably lives happily ever after.
It's a neat concept (kid creates amusement park!) with bad execution, a terrible story, and too much depression for a kids' movie. Plus it wraps up too neatly. And it isn't funny. And I literally almost fell asleep watching it.
If you have to see a family movie, you can do a lot better than this one. I wouldn't even recommend renting it from Redbox. It is that bland and inoffensive.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Project Power (2020) in Movies
Sep 10, 2020
If you're looking for a straight down the middle-of-the-road action flick, then you're in the right place.
Project Power has a decent concept - a new street drug that gives the user a random superpower for 5 minutes is running rampant in New Orleans. Police officer Frank (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is working hard to shut the whole thing down, whilst Art (Jamie Foxx) has a more personal vendetta against the manufacturers of the drug, and will stop at nothing to get to those at the top.
Now, Jamie Foxx is a damn fine actor, and here is no exception. He carries the film along side Dominique Fishback (a teenage dealer who sort of becomes his sidekick). The two of them share some great chemistry, and gave the film a bit of heart.
The usually reliable Gordon-Levitt however seems so uninterested in what he's doing. Honestly looks and sounds like he just doesn't give a fuck, which is a shame - he's usually a highlight for me!
The CGI in this movie is weird - sometimes it looks pretty decent, other times it looks horrible.
The majority of the final action sequence - good. The big scary bearded guy knocking down thick steel doors - bad.
The woman who turns icy - fairly good. The guy who turns into a big angry monster thing - really really bad, like the first Harry Potter troll bad.
Some of the action is entertaining, but it's nothing we haven't seen before from the up and down X-Men franchise.
Project Power isn't a bad film - it's watchable for the most part, it's just a little underwhelming, and I have no doubt I'll have forgotten it in a few days.
Project Power has a decent concept - a new street drug that gives the user a random superpower for 5 minutes is running rampant in New Orleans. Police officer Frank (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is working hard to shut the whole thing down, whilst Art (Jamie Foxx) has a more personal vendetta against the manufacturers of the drug, and will stop at nothing to get to those at the top.
Now, Jamie Foxx is a damn fine actor, and here is no exception. He carries the film along side Dominique Fishback (a teenage dealer who sort of becomes his sidekick). The two of them share some great chemistry, and gave the film a bit of heart.
The usually reliable Gordon-Levitt however seems so uninterested in what he's doing. Honestly looks and sounds like he just doesn't give a fuck, which is a shame - he's usually a highlight for me!
The CGI in this movie is weird - sometimes it looks pretty decent, other times it looks horrible.
The majority of the final action sequence - good. The big scary bearded guy knocking down thick steel doors - bad.
The woman who turns icy - fairly good. The guy who turns into a big angry monster thing - really really bad, like the first Harry Potter troll bad.
Some of the action is entertaining, but it's nothing we haven't seen before from the up and down X-Men franchise.
Project Power isn't a bad film - it's watchable for the most part, it's just a little underwhelming, and I have no doubt I'll have forgotten it in a few days.
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Gringo (2018) in Movies
Mar 23, 2018 (Updated Mar 23, 2018)
Not Quite What I Expected
Gringo is an action comedy movie directed by Nash Edgerton. It stars his brother Joel Edgerton, as a sleazeball business man who is trying to sell a brand new weed pill called Cannabax. His business partner is played by the always brilliant Charlize Theron. The two of them send their 'colleague,' Harold to Mexico to deliver the pill. This leads to Sharlto Copley's character getting involved and him and Harold going on a romp across Mexico where they get mixed up with the Cartel.
The movie isn't bad, in fact it's pretty good, but it is nothing like what the trailers showed it to be. The trailers made this out to be an outrageous comedy, but the film itself is actually a lot more serious than you we were lead to expect. Don't get me wrong, there are some funny scenes in the movie, but I had seen every one of them beforehand in the film's various trailers, so the only surprises that the movie had were more sombre and heavy handed.
It's not quite Training Day, but it isn't 21 Jump Street either. Instead, it's tone falls somewhere inbetween the two, which gives the movie a confused sense of identity and totally threw me as an audience member when I saw how the film was playing out. Maybe if I knew that the film wasn't going to be an out and out comedy going in, I would have been more prepared for the movie's mixed tone and enjoyed it a bit more than what I did upon first viewing.
Overall, there are some entertaining moments in this, just as long as you don't go in expecting to be splitting your sides laughing like I did and like the trailers made out that you would. I knew that this was going to be an action comedy, but I thought that there would be far more emphasis on the comedy element than there actually ended up being.
The movie isn't bad, in fact it's pretty good, but it is nothing like what the trailers showed it to be. The trailers made this out to be an outrageous comedy, but the film itself is actually a lot more serious than you we were lead to expect. Don't get me wrong, there are some funny scenes in the movie, but I had seen every one of them beforehand in the film's various trailers, so the only surprises that the movie had were more sombre and heavy handed.
It's not quite Training Day, but it isn't 21 Jump Street either. Instead, it's tone falls somewhere inbetween the two, which gives the movie a confused sense of identity and totally threw me as an audience member when I saw how the film was playing out. Maybe if I knew that the film wasn't going to be an out and out comedy going in, I would have been more prepared for the movie's mixed tone and enjoyed it a bit more than what I did upon first viewing.
Overall, there are some entertaining moments in this, just as long as you don't go in expecting to be splitting your sides laughing like I did and like the trailers made out that you would. I knew that this was going to be an action comedy, but I thought that there would be far more emphasis on the comedy element than there actually ended up being.