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T2 Trainspotting (2017)
T2 Trainspotting (2017)
2017 | Drama
The first time I saw Trainspotting was my senior year of high school. At the time, I knew that I wanted to get involved in film, and I really did for about ¾ of a year after I graduated. I looked at movies for their artistry and cinematography even at a young age. I was a band geek, so music was also things I would love about movies. I was deep for a 17-year-old, or so I thought any way. But I explain this to you so you don’t think that I loved this movie simply because of the drug use or humor it presented. I have always been of the mind to find something I like about a movie, watch it for what it is, and try to just find the enjoyment value (I know, weird coming from a film reviewer). I didn’t even have to try for Trainspotting. It was the complete package, and ground breaking. It also introduced me to Ewan McGregor, who is one of my favorite actors. I loved the movie so much, I bought Irvine Welsh’s book that the movie was based on of the same title, Trainspotting, which I highly recommend simply for the fact that it’s written in phonetic Scottish. I never picked up Porno, the literary sequel to Trainspotting, but I hear it is bizarre and will need to pick it up, but not because of this movie. I’ll explain in a moment.

Naturally, when the announcement was made for a second Trainspotting movie, I was both excited and terrified at the same time. The first was so good, why did Hollywood need to ruin it with a sequel that has a bigger budget. What was promising was that it was announced that the entire cast of characters (that survived from the first film) would be back, including Diane (Kelly MacDonald). But it’s been 20 years. Typically, when you see sequels come out even after only 10 years, the whole film seems a contrite, forced replication of the first. Hell, look at all the criticism for the Hangover films being exactly that, and they were only a few years apart. Whether the script feels forced just for the sake of a sequel, or the actors are trying too hard to be the character they played many years prior, it never quite works. So, as we neared the release date, I was getting more and more weary of seeing the film. Then, the trailer dropped.

Damn the trailer looked good. And I will tell you, the movie did not fall into the trap of forced sequels. The main cast came back and played the characters perfectly. Not as they were, but as the people they grew to be over the 20-year period. The plot was fun and pointless, with all of the same charm as its predecessor. I saw the movie with fellow SKNR staffer Joshua Aja, and we had a pretty good conversation following the film. We both came to the same conclusion, that neither of us could remember the last time we saw a film that just that good.

So now to the actual meat of the review itself. What was the movie about? Well, I won’t give away too much, but I will give you a quick recap of the events leading up to this film. Basically, do you remember the end of Trainspotting? Renton (Ewan McGregor), Spud (Ewen Bremner), Sick Boy (Jonny Lee Miller), and Begbie (Robert Carlyle) had successfully pulled off a heist, and Renton was making off with the money while everyone slept, except Spud of course who saw Renton leaving but didn’t say anything. As a result, Renton left Spud’s share of the cash for him in a locker. Okay; all caught up.

T2 Trainspotting picks up 20 years later. Renton comes back to Scotland because his mother passed away, he ends up reuniting with Spud, and eventually Sick Boy, who we now know by his real name, Simon. Begbie is in prison because, well… he’s Begbie, but he doesn’t stay there long. Tempers fly, old feelings flare, and not every reunited moment is met with glee. But soon enough, Renton, Simon and Spud are drawn into old habits, though not old drugs, and start to build money up to open a ‘sauna’ (read: undercover brothel) for Simon’s girlfriend, Veronika (Angela Nedyalkova). It’s not long before Begbie shows up and starts mucking things up leading to a suspenseful conclusion between Renton, Simon and Begbie.

That’s all I can say. There was an excellent use of the history from the first film, and of course we get another fantastic ‘Choose Life’ speech from Renton. The soundtrack, while not quite as good as the first, still holds its own very well. And be sure to look for the Bowie tribute, since it was he who helped Danny Boyle obtain a lot of music rights on the cheap for the first film. And, you will find Spud’s writings throughout the movie to be lifted, verbatim, from the Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh. But what’s interesting, is that there is not a lot that relates this film to the literary sequel, Porno. Much of the plot of this film is taken from, or at least inspired by, parts of the book that were not used in the first film. That combined with some new writing and storytelling from Irvine Welsh and John Hodge.

Bottom line: if you liked the Trainspotting even in the slightest, you will absolutely enjoy T2 Trainspotting. A phenomenal job by cast, crew, and writers, and an excellent soundtrack will leave you wanting a trilogy. This is only the third film I have given a perfect score to in my 7 years of reviewing films, and it is well deserved. Go see this movie.
  
Finding Esme
Finding Esme
Suzanne Crowley | 2018 | Children, Fiction & Poetry
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
I love reading middle grade fiction, so when the chance to read and review Finding Esme by Suzanne Crowley came up, I jumped at the chance! I was really glad I got a chance to read Finding Esme because it was such an amazing book!

Esme is a 12 year old girl growing up in the 1970's. Her home life isn't very traditional. Her dad is out somewhere being a wanderer, and her mom is too busy worrying about her dad to look after Esme. The only person that really looks after Esme is her grandma Bee. When Esme finds dinosaur bones (which she'd like to keep secret) on a hill by her house, things start changing for Esme.

I really loved the plot of Finding Esme. There is a touch of magical realism within this book that written very well. Esme and her grandmother have certain gifts. They can find lost things and/or people usually. There's also sightings of ghosts although not spooky ghostly sightings. Suzanne Crowley does such a fantastic job of making the magical realism element seem like it's an every day happening in real life. She also does a fantastic job with Esme's dealing of loss and just with the whole plot overall. Although Finding Esme does start out a bit slow, as well as a bit confusing with a bunch of different names, it quickly picks up the pacing. Also, it because clear which character is which quickly. The wording may be confusing for some as it's written in semi-heavy Texas twang and slang throughout. However, context clues help. It was easyish for me to understand being as I was born and raised in Texas.

I must gush now on the characters found in Finding Esme! They were all so fleshed out and felt like they were actual people I was reading about instead of just being fictitious characters. Bee, Esme's grandmother, was probably my favorite character because I loved her no-nonsense approach to things. June Rain was always in la la land since her husband was always up and missing. My heart ached for her, but at the same time, I was angry with her for not paying more attention to her children, Esme and Bo. Sweetmaw was another great character, and I loved her for watching out for Esme when Esme felt she had no one. Finch, Esme's best friend, cared for Esme very much, and it was obvious throughout the novel. He only wanted what was best for Esme even if she had a hard time figuring that out. I loved little Bo, Esme's younger brother. I can't remember if Bo's age is ever mentioned in Finding Esme. I guessed Bo to be around 7 or so based on how he acted. Esme was a fantastically written main character. I could relate to her on so many levels especially when it came to not feeling loved or wanted. I'm sure we've all felt like this at some point in our lives. Esme was wanting to keep her dinosaur bones (which she endearingly refers to as Louella Goodbones) secret just so she could have at least one thing that was just hers. I was angered when her secret bones were no longer her secret (not a spoiler). I just wanted to hug Esme to let her know that she wasn't alone. She seemed like such a sweet girl who had already had to put up with more things than most children her age.

One main thing I feel that I must mention is this is Finding Esme is listed as being a middle grade book. I guess this is because the main character is 12 years old. I felt like this wasn't a typical middle grade read as it lacks a middle grade feel. The wording and narrative seemed to be written towards more of an older audience especially with mentions of things that happened in the past that a middle grade audience may not know about or understand. I feel like Finding Esme would probably go over most middle grader's head with the language and events that happened. Even though Esme is only 12, I feel like adults would enjoy this more or at least a young adult audience.

Trigger warnings for Finding Esme include death, depression, gun violence (although not graphic), an absent father, and profanity (although it was just the word damnation used once).

Overall, Finding Esme is a fantastical read which will tug at your heartstrings and leave you breathless. It's a quick read that you won't want to put down. At least, I didn't! I never wanted it to end if I'm being honest. I would definitely recommend Finding Esme by Suzanne Crowley to those aged 15+. Yes, it's supposed to be a middle grade read, but as I mentioned before, I really think adults and possibly teens would enjoy it more.
--
(A special thank you to Suzanne Crowley for sending me a hardback of Finding Esme in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.)
  
Sugar: My Life as a Sugar Babe
Sugar: My Life as a Sugar Babe
Monique X | 2018 | Erotica, Romance
10
5.3 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
A fun, fast and interesting read. (2 more)
Fascinating to read about Monique's travels to different countries.
Intense and emotional
Nothing. (0 more)
Very Steamy!
Sugar was beckoning at me to be read, initially by the eye-catching and attractive cover and that it looked like it would be a very steamy read, as indeed it was. I was definitely not disappointed! I was smitten from the very first, right until the last page.

Monique is a loving single mother, who is trying to create a happy home for her two daughters and she's also a Sugar Babe, dating wealthy men, a practice known as Sugar Daddy dating. She mostly meets her Sugar Daddies during the day, when the children are at school or when they are with their father. Monique finds a thousand pounds in her purse after one night of passionate and very hot sex, and she realises that Sugar Daddy dating could be her way to survive as a single mother.

A heady life of wealthy men, luxury hotels and glamorous experiences ensue. One of my favourites was Iranian engineer Farshad, who liked to lavish Monique with gifts such as expensive jewellery and leather boots and wine and dine her in exotic restaurants.

Dates with Sugar Daddies see her flying to Paris, Barcelona, Vienna, Milan, Japan, Singapore and Hong Kong and skydiving in Dubai. Thanks to her Sugar Daddies, Monique can provide for her children, she has some independence, and experiences a whole new range of sexual fantasies.
 
She deactivates her account with her agency, Seeking Arrangement, and her ex-husband stops paying for the children's' upkeep. She is then prepared to do anything for the sake of her children. Money becomes her top priority and she starts living in the dangerous waters of the escort world. Now she realises that she must find a way out before this hollow existence becomes a habit.
  
I absolutely loved reading Sugar. Maybe it was the novelty of reading a book told as memoirs and based on true events. It was fascinating to read about Monique's travels to different countries and about the different nationalities, cultures and personalities of the gentlemen she dated. However, she ends up working as an escort rather than a Sugar Babe, as it's all about basic survival instincts, money and very spicy sex.
 
Sugar is steamy and hot, passionate and caring, intense and emotional and there are definitely moments where you will laugh. It is such a fun, fast and interesting read.

Monique X is a brilliant storyteller and really draws you in with her descriptiveness.

Thanks to NetGalley and Thistle Publishing for my ARC.
  
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
2016 | Action, Drama, Fantasy, Sci-Fi
Darth Vader (1 more)
Fits nicely with the rest of the series
Bad Tarkin CGI (0 more)
What's Old Is New
So our yearly Star Wars movie has arrived and after a complicated production it has released to rave reviews, with some outlets going as far as to compare it in quality to Empire Strikes Back, (which is widely considered to be the superior Star Wars film,) and it has even garnered a fair amount of Oscar buzz. This, along with the fact it’s a Star Wars movie meant that my expectations for this were pretty high going in and after seeing the movie there are parts of the flick that I loved and parts that I didn’t. When I wrote my Force Awakens review last year, I wrote both a spoiler free and a spoiler filled version of the review, but this year I have less time on my hands, so from this point on this will be a spoiler filled review, but the movie has been out for almost a week at the time of writing this, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet and are reading my review, well that is your own fault.

This movie for the most part impressed me. I loved how well it tied into A New Hope and how it actually fixed that movie’s biggest plothole by explaining that the weak point in the Death Star was installed on purpose by Galen Erso while designing the battle station under the Empire’s thumb, so that the Rebels would have a chance to destroy it. I loved how the movie had the balls to kills off the entire crew of the Rogue One team at the end of the movie and that corridor scene at the end with Vader was possibly the best scene I’ve seen in the cinema this year, it’s definitely up there with the airport scene in Civil War. Those are the stand out positives of the movie for me, however there were also a few flaws throughout the film.

First of all, that Grand Mof Tarkin CGI recreation of Peter Cushing was awful, the whole thing looked like a character from the Star Wars animated series. When he is first introduced it is through a glass reflection on a window he is looking out of and in that part of the scene it was fairly convincing, however he then turns around and the camera moves to a medium close up shot and all of a sudden it feels like watching a video game cutscene. Guy Henry was the actor who did the motion capture for Tarkin and that actor actually looks relatively similar to Peter Cushing, so why they didn’t just apply some makeup to Guy Henry and dye his hair gray to resemble Cushing more and recast the Tarkin role is a mystery to me, it would have also been a lot cheaper than the method that they went with. Either that or he should have only been seen in the reflection of the glass, since that was the only time that the CGI effect actually looked convincing. However, I did think that the CGI recreation of 1970’s Carrie Fischer at the end of the movie was very convincing and if it wasn’t for the movement in her mouth, I wouldn’t have known that was a CGI character. Another flaw I had with the movie was the how rushed and choppy the first act was, the characters were all introduced quickly and vaguely, then it took them ages to actually form up as a team. I get that introducing a whole cast of brand new characters in a short space of time isn’t easy, but Tarantino pulls it off in Hateful 8 and Inglorious Bastards and it works a lot better than it works here.

In a lot of ways Rogue One is a contrast to Force Awakens. In Force Awakens, the plot was essentially the same as A New Hope and was a fairly by the book, traditional Star Wars story, but the characters were what made that movie, if Poe Dameron, Rey, Finn, Kylo Ren, Han and Chewie weren’t as well written, that movie would have been mediocre at best. In Rogue One, the characters are pretty shallow and underdeveloped and they are introduced quickly and by the end of the movie none of them have really had a proper character arc. However that is not what this movie is about, this film is about a team of people coming together in order to complete a task to set up the events of the original trilogy and in that sense this movie does what it sets out to do. An example of this is the robot character K2SO, who I thought was going to start off with no humanity, then over the course of the movie realize the value of human life and then sacrifice himself for the greater good at the movie’s climax, but it turns out that the only real reason that he is helping the Rebels, is because he has been programmed to do so. This I feel sums up the level of character development present in the movie and demonstrates that it is not necessary in the film as that isn’t the movie’s purpose. What Force Awakens lacked in an original plot, it made up for in character development and what Rogue One lacks in character development, it makes up for in plot and setup, so both movies have their strengths and their flaws. Bearing in mind that I have only seen Rogue One once so far, I currently prefer Force Awakens to Rogue One, but then I prefer Return of the Jedi to Empire, so maybe that’s just me.

The writing moves the story along at a brisk pace, but it is effective in that you are constantly kept aware of where we are and what is happening at least from the end of the first act onwards. The performances are also suitable to the characters in each role, but I wouldn’t say anyone was incredible, my personal favourite was Cassian, the Alliance’s trigger finger who had shades of Han Solo thrown in as well. While watching Diego Luna’s performance, I actually thought he would be a good pick to play Nathan Drake in the Uncharted movie. The lighting in the film is well used and the CGI is spectacular for the most part other than weird waxwork Peter Cushing. The space battles are breathtaking and the action on the ground is also exciting.

Now, let’s talk about the characters that weren’t part of the Rogue One team. Forest Whittaker and Mads Mikkelson are two of my favourite actors working in Hollywood today and they are both in this movie, but I feel that both could have been used more. When they are onscreen, they are brilliant, it’s just a pity they make up such a small part of the movie. Whittaker appears only to be killed off minutes later and Mikkelson is only in two major scenes outside of a brief hologram appearance and then also gets killed off unceremoniously. The reason that a lot of people will go and see this movie however, will be to see Darth Vader. He isn’t in the movie much, but when he is it is fantastic. All of this reminds me a lot of Edwards’ last movie Godzilla, where Bryan Cranston and the monster were clearly the best parts of that movie, but for some reason were hardly in the thing. It’s as if Edwards has this idea in his head that less is always more and if he doesn’t show what people want to see in the movie for more than a few minutes at a time, then he is being original and artistic. While I understand this way of thinking from an auteur perspective, it’s fucking Star Wars and Godzilla mate, just give the people what they want. It is far less of an issue here however, since the rest of the cast in Rogue One are far more compelling than the rest of the cast in Godzilla.

Anyway, back to Vader. We first see Vader when Krennic goes to see him in his Imperial Castle in Mustafar, the same location that he was relieved of his limbs and burnt alive in a pool of lava. The way he is introduced is awesome, when Krennic arrives one of Vader’s cloaked minions enters a large room containing an ominous bacta tank, which we see Vader floating in without his suit on. This is the most vulnerable we have ever seen Vader since we saw him getting his suit fitted for the first time in Revenge Of The Sith. The tank empties and we see Vader’s stumps where his arms and legs once were and we see the burnt skin that covers his torso. Then we cut to him in full costume, complete with the classic James Earl Jones voice and force choking Krennic. He then disappears again for most of the movie, until the second to last scene where he is at his most powerful and this could genuinely be my favourite Vader scene of all time, perhaps even beating the infamous, ‘I am your father,’ scene from Empire. Vader in this scene is pure raw anger and power and the way the scene is shot and lit is fucking perfect, the audio and the editing fantastic also. The scene opens with a dark corridor with Rebels scrambling to get the hard drive containing the Death Star plans to the other end of the corridor and onto the ship that Leia is on, so that she can go on to get the plans into R2 in order to kick off A New Hope’s events. At first you wonder why the Rebels are in such a panic then you hear the terrifying breathing from Vader’s suit, but he still isn’t shown. Then the first and only lightsaber in the movie is sparked and it illuminates Vader in all of his terrifying glory before he starts tearing through the Rebels like a monster in a horror movie. This minute long scene is one of the best I’ve seen this year and it alone made the ticket price worth it for me.

Overall, Rogue One was essentially what I thought it would be based on the trailers. I don’t personally understand the overblown critical fanfare that the movie is receiving, but I’m glad that Star Wars fans like it. There are many parts of the movie that could be considered polarizing, such as the lack of Vader scenes, the dodgy Tarkin CGI, the fact that the entire Rogue One squad is killed off at the end of the movie, the absence of an opening crawl and Forest Whittaker’s raspy voice, which admittedly takes a bit of getting used to. Some of these elements I loved and some I hated, but for the most part this is an enjoyable addition to the Star Wars saga, I love how well it ties into and sets up the events of the films following this one and it was an added bonus that they actually resolved some of the original trilogy’s flaws. As I said earlier, I still prefer The Force Awakens to this, but I can see how an argument could be made for this one being a better movie.
  
If I Stay (2014)
If I Stay (2014)
2014 | Drama
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.

Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.

Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.

First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.

Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.


If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)
  
Rebel Rose (The Queen's Council #1)
Rebel Rose (The Queen's Council #1)
Emma Theriault | 2020 | Science Fiction/Fantasy, Young Adult (YA)
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Contains spoilers, click to show
Set against the backdrop of revolutionary France, ‘Rebel Rose’ continues the story of Beauty and the Beast after the curse is broken. Belle and her Prince now have to find a way to navigate married life, rank, politics and explain a 10-year absence from the French Court of Versailles.

Controversially, Emma Theriault baits the hardcore Disney fans straight out of the gates by naming her Prince Lio (Lio, Lion, beast, gettit?) rather than Adam. In the grand scheme of things this can easily be forgiven but it still seems a strange choice. Maybe Adam was too English for a French Prince?

However, the use of first person perspective ensures that our protagonist remains firmly in Belle. Belle has refused the title of Princess upon marriage in order to stay true to her roots but is constantly hiding her true self: even referring to a trip around Europe as “one last adventure before the walls of the castle close around her”. When Belle witnesses the revolutionary sparks within the city this divides her further: how can she be part of the nobility these people rally against and an avid “commoner” at the same time?

In truth, Belle as a character divided me as well. Belle has always been my favourite Disney Princess (possibly to do with that massive library) and, in the most part, I feel Theriault wrote her well and stayed true to the character. However, in the early pages Belle felt very spoilt and selfish to me: preferring to disguise herself and explore Paris rather than support Lio in explaining his decade-long disappearing act to King Louis.

I was intrigued to know what my fellow reviewers thought and was unsurprised to see a LOT of criticism of our heroine, her shunning of the title of Princess and her lack of enthusiasm to be a leader. However, I almost felt that this made the story more realistic. Just because she broke a curse and married a Prince doesn’t mean she can automatically feel ready and comfortable leading a kingdom! Maybe she just has a fondness for hairy men?

Belle’s reluctance and tentativeness to lead also fed very nicely into her passion to improve the lives of the residents of the kingdom of Aveyon. This is common sense to her and therefore doesn’t feel like ruling. Indeed, it is not seen by any of the main characters as ruling but in the end it saves them all from a revolution of their own.

I would have liked Lio to be a little bit more developed than he was. The fact that he harboured an element of PTSD from the curse was really interesting but not explored any further than his nightmares and aversion towards roses. There was undoubtedly chemistry between him and Belle but it was just a bit lacklustre in my opinion. This may be due to his absence for a lot of the book but I felt the reader could have loved him a lot more than we did.

Lio’s cousin Bastien is the slimy villain of the tale and I would have liked a bit more mystery and suspense within his character. I appreciated that Belle didn’t like him initially as he was a powdered, wig wearing noble who was close to King Louis, basically as far away from Belle as possible. Bastien is also quite snobby towards Belle in his earliest chapters so you can’t blame her for disliking him.

  However, by using language to plainly show that Belle distrusts her husband’s cousin, Theriault instantly creates a flashing neon “villain” sign above his head. This would have been fine in a middle-grade book but within YA I think the reader could have been afforded to be misled a couple of times before uncovering Bastien’s real intentions.

**This section contains spoilers**
I also believe that Bastien’s eventual story arc was a tad unbelievable. At first I thought his revolutionary sympathies and further plots with various goons was a ruse in order to gain the throne for himself, particularly once he had established himself firmly with the advisory. Emma Theriault’s decision to keep Bastien true to the revolution seemed rushed, and a bit odd to be honest. This is a noble who lives in the lap of luxury and attends to King Louis himself but who then turns on his own kind after basically forcing the kingdom of Aveyon to break away from France? It didn’t seem plausible to me.


Rebel Rose is an easy to read continuation of one of our favourite Disney tales. It reintroduces us to old favourites such as Mrs Potts and Lumiere as well as introducing new characters such as Marguerite and Bastien. Belle’s journey to staying true to herself and following her gut is one anyone can empathise with and her discovery that she does not have to appease to outsider’s expectations will never cease to be important.

The magic contained within this novel is a perfect springboard for the rest of the novels within the Queen’s Council series: the next one is based on Mulan and will be written by Livia Blackburne before Jasmine’s story by Alexandra Monir follows in 2022. The majority of the action within this novel does take place towards the end so it can be a little slow paced and politics focused but I enjoyed seeing Belle and Lio break free of their fairytale life and become a little more real.

Although this isn’t my favourite Disney novel, I do appreciate the break away from the retelling genre and the move towards bringing these well-known characters into the real world. For a debut novel I think Emma Theriault should be immensely proud: the research for the historical context alone must have been a mission!
  
Scarlet Princess
Scarlet Princess
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Death was a hefty price to pay for vodka.

I mean with an opening line like that you know it’s going to be a great book right?!

Regular readers will know I’m a bit of an ElBin fangirl and often devour their books in 1 or 2 days. Scarlet Princess was no exception: I kept my kids fed and held down my full-time job for the day but the rest of the time was spent reading this amazing return into the Lochlann world.

Scarlet Princess is the first in the Lochlann Feuds series which is based approximately 20 years after Autumn’s Reign, the final in the Lochlann Treaty series. However, you don’t have to read the Lochlann Treaty in order to read Scarlet Princess: the world building, plot and characters shine just as brightly for this to be a standalone novel.

“It’s a lotus flower. They’re rare, complex flowers. Difficult to keep alive.”

“That doesn’t sound like anyone I know”

Scarlet Princess introduces us to Rowan, the Princess of Lochlann and her cousin Davin, whom we briefly met in the Lochlann Treaty. The cousins give the impression that they either go looking for trouble, or trouble just finds them! Therefore, it shouldn’t be so surprising that when we meet them, Rowan and Davin are just about to find themselves imprisoned in the neighbouring kingdom of Socair.

Sadly, Socair and Lochlann don’t have the friendliest history so getting home will be no easy feat for the cousins, if they can escape death first.

“Amicable and accommodating, Princess. I wonder if you are capable of either.“

Rowan is, without a doubt, a product of her parents: with her fiery red curls and equally fiery attitude it is easy for us to assume that Rowan takes after her father but then you find yourself internally shouting (or externally- no judgement) “why did you do that?!” and suddenly you see her mother's emotional, impulsive nature.

The smart mouth and the booziness? Well that’s just what makes Rowan, Rowan! And we love her for it!

“Am I boring you Princess Rowan?” He sighed.

“Always”

As Rowan’s journey continues though we see that she has been deeply affected by her parents’ quest for love. Our princess is quite closed off to love and is happy for a marriage to be arranged for her. At her young age Rowan equates love with warring kingdoms, losing children, losing husbands: ultimately, she equates love with loss.

Maybe that is why Rowan hides behind a mask of sarcasm and glib comments, seldom ever facing the reality of her predicament until it is too late.

I didn’t want the kind of love that could break you.

Behind her sarcasm though it is clear Rowan cares deeply about issues such as poverty and equality. She is forced to see that her life is very different in Lochlann, where villagers are not suffering and are looked after by their leaders; women are not seen as quiet mice who need protecting as they are in Socair. Maybe, just maybe, her life in Lochlann wasn’t as bad as she thought? But will Rowan ever see Lochlann again?

Besides, I never had been good at making the smart choice.

The cast of characters surrounding Rowan are equally as amazing as our princess. Davin is a ladies’ man just like his father, Iiro is authoritative one minute but then casually tortures his brother sensibilities the next and Mila is a great friend who comes swooping into Rowan’s life – there is definitely more to Mila than meets the eye though.

Rowan’s escort through Socair and the poor soul on the other end of most of her sarcasm is Lord Theodore, her captor and the heir to the Elk clan. Theo is fair where Rowan is fiery; stoic where she is scandalous and the tension between them …. oof it’s enough to make you swoon!

“You know when something just catches your attention and you can’t explain it?“

I loved revisiting Lochlann only to be immersed in the Kingdom of Socair: the mysterious enemy lurking behind the mountain. The 9 clans created a whole new dynamic from the previous books and the plot arc could have easily got lost within all the clan politics but it flowed beautifully.

All I will say is that I really shouldn’t trust Robin and Elle with happy endings – they will always rip it away with a few chapters to go. These two are the Queens of cliff-hangers!

Grab your copy of Scarlet Princess on August 27th 2021. Devour it in one day and then join me anxiously anticipating the sequel, Tarnished Crown in November 2021.
  
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)
2013 | Action, Sci-Fi
The Hunger Games franchise has come at a time that is almost certain to gather box-office success. After Harry Potter finished two years ago and The Twilight Saga bowed out just 12 months ago, teenagers and young adults have been craving for a new series of blockbusters to ‘sink their teeth into’.

The first film of this new dawn, based on Suzanne Collins’ successful book, was released in March last year and greeted with warm reviews and a staggering box-office performance, a gross just shy of $700m to be a little more precise.

However, rumoured tensions between director Gary Ross and studio Color Force meant that despite its impressive takings, he was not to helm its sequel, Catching Fire. Taking over from him is Francis Lawrence, director of I am Legend, Constantine and Water for Elephants, but can he better what preceded him?

The series centres around an annual ‘games’, in which people aged between 12 and 18 must fight to the death in a custom made arena, leaving only one victor, who is showered with riches for the rest of their lives.

Jennifer Lawrence, returning to the series after her first Oscar win this year, plays Katniss Everdeen, a plucky young teen who fresh from winning the previous Hunger Games tournament alongside her beau Peeta Mellark, played by Josh Hutcherson, travel through the land of Panem (a post-apocalyptic America) to spread their story and persuade others to take part in the vicious tournament.

However, after angering the Capitol, run by cold-hearted President Snow (Donald Sutherland) who becomes increasingly concerned that an up-rising is brewing, it is decided that previous victors must once again take part, to show that even they are not above the law.

For those fresh to the series, I warn you not to watch this film without seeing the first, as much of the plot will be near incomprehensible and your enjoyment will suffer as a result.

The film starts slowly, giving enough backstory before the inevitable return to the arena. Thankfully despite its large running time of 146 minutes, it never falters and after allowing the audience to see how the world has changed, it is back into the new and improved arena for the 75th Hunger Games.

Gone is the shaky handy-cam of director Gary Ross, and in its place we are treated to sweeping shots of numerous landscapes; from the coal-mining community of District 12, to the bright lights of the Capitol and even the large arena which has been given a radical overhaul to make it even more challenging than ever.


The acting is simply sublime by all accounts. Jennifer Lawrence, fresh from the honour of an Oscar plays Katniss with such a subtle grace that she is mesmerising to watch, a real treat for fans of J-Law and of course Suzanne Collins’ character. Liam Hemsworth returns to the series as Katniss’ secret love interest Gale, but he is sorely underused. Josh Hutcherson’s Peeta Mellark is as irritating as ever and lacks a backbone, but this is more to do with the script than Hutcherson’s abilities as an actor.

Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks, Stanley Tucci also return, with the latter being a real stand-out in a film which is filled with quirky and unusual characters.

Those of you who have read my review of the previous film will know that I wasn’t a fan of its lacklustre special effects. Thankfully my prayers were answered and due to a budget that has almost doubled, the effects are glorious. The Capitol is perhaps the best use of the CGI, where the first film looked like a Star Wars: Episode I rip-off, here we really feel like the city is living and breathing for the very first time.

Unfortunately, it seems like the special effects team are still struggling with CGI fire as the computer generated flames are still laughable in their realism.

At 146 minutes, Catching Fire was always going to numb your backside, but you don’t care, the film is an absolute treat to watch. Director Francis Lawrence has retained the violent nature of the series despite its ridiculous 12A certification and manages to get around those limitations with style and flair.

Yes, if I was pushed I’d say it was a little over-long, the CGI flames still look ridiculous and the ending is far too abrupt, but if those are the only faults I can find in a film, then clearly it is more than worth the increasingly expensive price of a cinema admission ticket.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2013/11/23/hunger-games-catching-fire-review/
  
Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
Crazy Rich Asians (2018)
2018 | Comedy
Gemma Chan (1 more)
Constance Wu
OK. I don't do books, so I wouldn't have been aware of the best selling book that Crazy Rich Asians is based on. I don't usually do rom coms either, but that only tends to be the ones where they're the typical boy and girl hate each other and are thrown together until they love each other type movies. But, I do love a movie that's done well, regardless of genre. And as Crazy Rich Asians continues to receive much hype and success in the US (I'm in the UK), I thought I'd better go and see what all the fuss is about. So, as part of date night with the wife, we decided to go check it out!

Now, for this movie I think the trailer nailed it in terms of what you see is what you're going to get. And in my opinion, I'd say how you feel after seeing the trailer for this movie is a pretty good gauge for how you'll feel about the movie as a whole. Personally, I watched the trailer and I didn't think it looked that great. The story looked mildly interesting, there were some funny characters and some potentially great performances, but there was nothing in the trailer that grabbed me and stuck with me. And that's exactly how I felt about the movie after I'd seen it.

The story centres around Rachel and Nick, both living in New York and having been dating for a while. Nick is due to head home to Singapore for his best friends wedding and has asked Rachel to join him. The opening scene of the movie, featuring Nick as a young child, gives us some insight into how much wealth and power his family possess. We also see how an innocent photo of Nick and Rachel talking in a bar quickly hits Singapore social media, setting thousands of tongues wagging and giving us a pretty good idea just how big a deal Nick and his family are over there. And how much of a talking point it is that Nick is dating a girl raised in America, rather than Asia. It's only when they land in Singapore that Rachel realises the full extent of what she's let herself in for.

Nick is part of a big, rich family, with each family member having their own set of problems and insecurities to deal with. I actually had trouble keeping track of who's who for a while, but one thing this movie does do is allow sufficient time for all family members to be explored and for some particularly strong performances to blossom. Nicks mother Eleanor (Michelle Yeoh) is the one that Rachel is out to impress though, and although she remains polite at all times, it's clear that she doesn't approve. I thought this was going to be a variation of the boy and girl hate each other at first theme that I spoke about earlier, and while it kind of is in a way, it doesn't make for such a fun, easy ride like standard rom coms do.

For me, those strong performances I spoke about came from Gemma Chan as a millionaire cousin with an insecure cheating husband, and Constance Wu as Rachel. Michelle Yeoh is somebody we're probably a bit more familiar with, and she was also outstanding as Nicks mother Eleanor. There are plenty of characters providing comedy relief and bringing the 'crazy' to the films title. Most notably Awkwafina as Rachel’s best friend and Ken Jeong, who seemed slightly subdued for once.

Overall I didn't not enjoy this movie, but then I didn't enjoy it as much as I'd hoped I would either. I laughed, I was entertained, but I felt the movie dragged and stumbled at times, and didn't really elevate itself above just a standard rom com for me.
  
Double Love (Sweet Valley High, #1)
Double Love (Sweet Valley High, #1)
Francine Pascal | 1984 | Fiction & Poetry
6
6.5 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
<u><b>SVH: WTF?</b></u>

<b>Cover Models:</b> Jessica and Elizabeth

<b>Page count:</b> 182

<b>Special Event:</b> Some sorority thing.

<b>Number of times "a hundred and thirty-seven" was mentioned:</b> Two, plus five hundred and thirty-seven and seven hundred and thirty-seven. See below.

<b>Mental Illness Winner of the Week:</b> Jessica. Is there any surprise there?

<b>Jessica's Bitchyness scale:</b> ***** (out of five)

<b>WTFery Meter:</b> ****1/2 stars (out of five)

-------------------------

<b>Quotes & Snarky comments:</b>

What a peach:<blockquote>"How can you be best friends with somebody as blah as Eeny Rollins? I don't want you to go over there. Somebody might think it was <i>me</i> talking to her." - Jessica Wakefield, page 18</blockquote>Jessica's thoughts about Liz's lack of enthusiasm at being accepted into the sorority, Pi Beta Alpha: <blockquote>"No big deal? Elizabeth, how can you say that? How can you even think it? You've got to be seven hundred and thirty-seven kinds of idiots not to be excited about associating with the best girls at Sweet Valley High. What's wrong with you?" - page 34/5</blockquote>Isn't she simply the sweetest girl in the world? (note: Enid was also accepted.)

On butting into their brother's, Steven, love life: <blockquote>"You can do whatever you want, Elizabeth Wakefield, but it's just not in my nature to be cold and selfish when it comes to the happiness of a member of my family!" - page 39</blockquote>This as she attempts to steal Todd away from Liz the whole book. Yeah, real selfless of ya, Jess.<blockquote>"He has got to be the most wonderful boy in a hundred and thirty-seven states!" - Jessica, page 108</blockquote> Uh, she does realize there are only 50, right?<blockquote>Elizabeth wondered how her sister could possibly descend from cloud nine with Todd Wilkins to the pits of depression so fast and simply because she had to do a little thing like help fix dinner. - page 108</blockquote>I bet a psychologist (or a whole team of them) is the only one that could help you figure that out, Liz. What follows immediately afterward sees Jessica having a complete meltdown. Seriously.
<blockquote>"This family has got to be the biggest bummer in five hundred and thirty-seven cities!" - Jess, page 111</blockquote><blockquote>"You selfish little twerp," Steven said, glaring at Jessica. - page 114</blockquote>Hear, hear! Way to go Steve!
<blockquote>"I'll never forgive you, not if I live to be a hundred and thirty-seven years." - Jessica, page 182</blockquote>Aah! Please don't live that long, please. 8O

<b>Final thoughts:</b>
Elizabeth = Goody-two-shoes doormat.
Jessica = Satan incarnate.
Sounds like a bad sitcom.

<b>Disclaimer:</b> I am not a teenager or preteen, but an adult. Supposedly. Everyone keeps telling me I am but I'm not sure I'm buying what they're selling. Therefore my views are based from that perspective rather than someone in the target age range. I inhaled these suckers when I was young, hale, and hearty, so in an apparent moment of weakness have decided to re-visit one of my favorite old series in a fondly-remembered, tongue-in-cheek, and mostly sarcastic approach. So since I couldn't manage to devise a rating system for SVH books, I came up with this little way to have some fun, which is in the review form you've (hopefully) just read. Why else would you be reading this if you hadn't read all the way through anyway? Sometimes me not so bright. ;P

Next review: <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/166889313"><b>Secrets</b></a>;