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LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated Silent Hill (2006) in Movies
Sep 21, 2020
As visually perfect a cinematic representation of this franchise as we're ever going to get - really knockout stuff to look at (the CGI is sparing but amazing even by today's standards, practicals are godly). Corroded aesthetic, stiff acting, lots of extended cutscene-like exposition and sequences of people picking up/memorizing stuff... exactly like the games. Though, the seamless emulation only really translates to style, as I feel this doesn't really 'get' what makes the franchise's writing so special. The changes this makes to the lore seem very arbitrary, and the story is in big 'I don't care' mode. Too long to justify that, truthfully - but it ends with a fuckton of crazy cultists getting ripped apart by barbed wire and roasting people alive. So I'm pleased. Mitchell and Bean are madly boring, Ferland and Krige *slay* (literally and figuratively). Sidenote: I found it very amusing that there was a profession listed in the credits called "Senior roach simulation T.D.".
Nickg24 (492 KP) rated Men in Black International (2019) in Movies
Sep 11, 2019
Sub Standard CGI (1 more)
No chemistry between the 2 leads
The original MIB movies were fun and had that great constantly at odds with each partnership between smith and jones,while this movie is the complete opposite of what came before it.
In this film we get the usual bog standard story (aliens chase after powerful weapon,mib get it then lose it then get it back again) and of course the good guy turns out to be a baddie at the end reveal.Whoever wrote the script for this movie obviously couldn't come up with an original idea of his own and just recycled parts from the other films together.
All the chemistry thompson and hemsworth had in their ragnarok is taken away here,they seem bland and uninterested at certain points in the film.
This franchise has had its day in the sun and we really dont need to see it ever again.
In this film we get the usual bog standard story (aliens chase after powerful weapon,mib get it then lose it then get it back again) and of course the good guy turns out to be a baddie at the end reveal.Whoever wrote the script for this movie obviously couldn't come up with an original idea of his own and just recycled parts from the other films together.
All the chemistry thompson and hemsworth had in their ragnarok is taken away here,they seem bland and uninterested at certain points in the film.
This franchise has had its day in the sun and we really dont need to see it ever again.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) in Movies
Aug 26, 2019
A great looking and fun horror film that leans too heavily on jump scares
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark - the overall plot of this film is a fun one, and the nature of it revolving around short stories enables the movie to explore different creatures and dangers without having to worry too much about plot connection.
There are some really creepy shots throughout (The Pale Lady in the red corridors will definitely stick with me) but the scares end there. The movie relies on cheap jump scares a bit too much, with many scenes of uncomfortable silence before a SUDDEN SCARY THING! pops out at you. It becomes tiresome fairly quickly.
The designs of the creatures themselves are pretty good, and the darkness of most scenes masks obvious CGI effectively.
I'm fact, the films looks pretty good throughout.
As a horror film, it's pretty tame, but it's fun, and I would recommend a watch if horror is your bag.
There are some really creepy shots throughout (The Pale Lady in the red corridors will definitely stick with me) but the scares end there. The movie relies on cheap jump scares a bit too much, with many scenes of uncomfortable silence before a SUDDEN SCARY THING! pops out at you. It becomes tiresome fairly quickly.
The designs of the creatures themselves are pretty good, and the darkness of most scenes masks obvious CGI effectively.
I'm fact, the films looks pretty good throughout.
As a horror film, it's pretty tame, but it's fun, and I would recommend a watch if horror is your bag.
Awix (3310 KP) rated Christopher Robin (2018) in Movies
Aug 22, 2019
Gentle family comedy-drama probably isn't anything really special, but compared to Peter Rabbit (which it has a number of similarities to) it looks like 2001: A Space Odyssey or Seven Samurai (or whatever you think one of History's Great Films is). Christopher Robin lives through the Second World War, grows up to become an unhappy office drone in danger of losing his soul; Pooh Bear and the other stuffed animals manifest to help him remember the Important Things in Life.
No real surprises, to be honest, but it's well-made, quite well-played, reasonably well-written, and it doesn't try to make Winnie the Pooh 'contemporary' or 'irreverent'. Some parts of it are genuinely quite sweet, others funny (Mark Gatiss' hairpiece always seems about to take on a CGI life of its own). Hardly essential viewing, but the whole family could probably watch this together and have a decent time doing so.
No real surprises, to be honest, but it's well-made, quite well-played, reasonably well-written, and it doesn't try to make Winnie the Pooh 'contemporary' or 'irreverent'. Some parts of it are genuinely quite sweet, others funny (Mark Gatiss' hairpiece always seems about to take on a CGI life of its own). Hardly essential viewing, but the whole family could probably watch this together and have a decent time doing so.
Top 10 Biggest Beasts Ever (2015)
Movie
Before man ruled the world, Earth was a land of giants. Count down the biggest beasts of their kind...
Movies - Topic
1.0
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YouTube Channel
A film, also called a movie, motion picture, moving picture, theatrical film, or photoplay, is a...
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Jakob's Wife (2021) in Movies
Sep 18, 2021
Let's be honest, a low budget vampire flick lead by Barbara Crampton and Larry Fessenden was always going to be right up my street.
Jakob's Wife has a lot going for it. It has a well paced and intriguing premise, snappy dialogue, sympathetic characters, over the top and hard hitting gore (seriously springs out of nowhere and caught me off guard), decent creature designs, a good soundtrack, and the aforentioned lead actors (although, Crampton expectedly and completely steals the show)
My main criticisms mainly come from what feels like a confused identity. There's some good humour sprinkled throughout, and some genuinely funny moments, but it does feel at odds with otherwise serious tone on display. A minor gripe, but one that's noticeable (a statement that also applies to the awful cgi rats in that one scene)
Overall, Jakob's Wife is an entertaining splatter fest that should appeal to any horror fan - don't sleep on it!
Jakob's Wife has a lot going for it. It has a well paced and intriguing premise, snappy dialogue, sympathetic characters, over the top and hard hitting gore (seriously springs out of nowhere and caught me off guard), decent creature designs, a good soundtrack, and the aforentioned lead actors (although, Crampton expectedly and completely steals the show)
My main criticisms mainly come from what feels like a confused identity. There's some good humour sprinkled throughout, and some genuinely funny moments, but it does feel at odds with otherwise serious tone on display. A minor gripe, but one that's noticeable (a statement that also applies to the awful cgi rats in that one scene)
Overall, Jakob's Wife is an entertaining splatter fest that should appeal to any horror fan - don't sleep on it!
The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild (2022)
2.7
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Movie Watch
The all-new animated adventure, “The Ice Age Adventures of Buck Wild,” continues the hilarious...
animation comedy adventure CGI computer-animation Walt DIsney Pictures
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies
Apr 17, 2019 (Updated Apr 17, 2019)
The script (4 more)
The CGI
The editing
The performances
Everything else
Actual Hell
If the Hellboy 2019 movie has one thing going for it, it's that it's impressive. It is impressive in the sense that it actually made me question the futility of time and why I was wasting my short time on this earth watching this atrocious piece of trash. There were several times when I was watching the film that I actually couldn't bring myself to believe how bad what I was witnessing onscreen really was. This might be the worst film I have ever seen.
It has without a doubt taken the crown of the worst superhero movie ever made from Fan4stic and is downright insulting. I cannot believe that they chose to make this dogshit over another one with Ron Perlman and Del Toro. Almost every single aspect of this movie is garbage and there are hardly any redeeming features.
Let's talk about the main character, this movie's version of Hellboy. We all knew going in that David Harbour had some pretty big shoes to fill left by Perlman and in Harbour's defence, pretty much the only slightly positive aspect of this thing is the fact that you can tell that Harbour is doing the very best with the piss poor material he has been given to work with. Most of his lines are awful and the way that his character is written as a moaning, whiny bitch is actually insulting to the character. Also, the excessive makeup he is wearing means that he is hardly able to emote with his mouth. When he is talking, his mouth simply opens and closes like a puppet and it is painfully obvious that the dialogue has been dubbed in later and it's not even been done very well. The other slight positive in this movie is seeing Hellboy in his full demonic getup with long horns and donning the flaming crown and sword was pretty cool, unfortunately this is only a fleeting glimpse of coolness before we get right back to the crap.
The other memorable part of the Del Toro Hellboy movies was the endearing supporting cast, unfortunately they have been substituted with an insufferable lot of replacements. The actress playing Alice may give the worst performance that I have ever seen in a comic book movie, (and I saw Polar!) Every single line that she uttered was extremely cringe-worthy and poorly delivered. Daniel Dae Kim was almost as bad as Hellboy's other sidekick. Again, a lot of his lines were ADR'd in later and it is really shoddily done. Ian McShane plays Broom, the scientist that found Hellboy and adopted him and he is sleepwalking his way through this role for the sake of an easy paycheck. As is Milla Jovovich, she plays a stereotypical villainous witch and she does nothing here that we haven't seen her do before in other movies.
Over my years of watching almost every comic book movie that releases, I have seen my fair share of cheap, cartoony looking CGI, but this takes the cake. Almost every scene in the movie features some kind of CGI creature and they are all on a similar level of quality to an unfinished student project. One of the moments it really stood out was the giant fight, where we were subjected to not only one bad CGI giant, but three of them. The scene is also shot in broad daylight, which really does the bad CGI no favours. Not once, did anything in this movie look better than anything in the Del Toro movies which came out 10+ years ago.
I'm going to spoil something here, because seriously who gives a fuck at this point? The absolute worst part of CGI though in the entire movie, is undoubtedly during one of the final scenes in the movie where Ian McShane comes back to speak to Hellboy as a ghost. The CG in this scene is genuinely on par with the Rock's CG in in the Scorpion King. Yes, it really is that bad.
The soundtrack is so misused here also. The songs themselves that are featured are all half decent songs, but they do not work in the context of this film and they add absolutely nothing to the scenes that they are used in. The editing is also horrible, there were several times that I was reminded of the cheap editing in shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
The last thing that I want to talk about is the tone and humour, (or lack of,) present throughout the film. The movie opens with a flashback scene showing King Arthur chopping up the witch. The scene is being narrated by Ian McShane and it is chock-full of diabolically awful dialogue and insufferably cheesy line delivery. Whilst watching it I thought, "Oh they are really hamming it up here and going for a really corny tone for these flashback scenes." I then swiftly came to the soul-crushing conclusion that no, this was how the next 2 hours of this movie was going to go. The awful sense of humour is actually comparable to that in a poor quality kids film, with gross out burp and kiss jokes to boot. What happened to the darker, more horror orientated tone that we were teased with when the movie was in pre-production? Any semblance of that is sorely lacking here and it is a shame because I would have quite liked to have seen that movie and there is a good chance that it would have been a lot better than this dumpster fire.
Overall, please don't see this unless you hate yourself. It is two hours of your life that would be better spent doing literally anything else. At the end it has the audacity to tease a sequel which, (if there is a God,) will never happen.
It has without a doubt taken the crown of the worst superhero movie ever made from Fan4stic and is downright insulting. I cannot believe that they chose to make this dogshit over another one with Ron Perlman and Del Toro. Almost every single aspect of this movie is garbage and there are hardly any redeeming features.
Let's talk about the main character, this movie's version of Hellboy. We all knew going in that David Harbour had some pretty big shoes to fill left by Perlman and in Harbour's defence, pretty much the only slightly positive aspect of this thing is the fact that you can tell that Harbour is doing the very best with the piss poor material he has been given to work with. Most of his lines are awful and the way that his character is written as a moaning, whiny bitch is actually insulting to the character. Also, the excessive makeup he is wearing means that he is hardly able to emote with his mouth. When he is talking, his mouth simply opens and closes like a puppet and it is painfully obvious that the dialogue has been dubbed in later and it's not even been done very well. The other slight positive in this movie is seeing Hellboy in his full demonic getup with long horns and donning the flaming crown and sword was pretty cool, unfortunately this is only a fleeting glimpse of coolness before we get right back to the crap.
The other memorable part of the Del Toro Hellboy movies was the endearing supporting cast, unfortunately they have been substituted with an insufferable lot of replacements. The actress playing Alice may give the worst performance that I have ever seen in a comic book movie, (and I saw Polar!) Every single line that she uttered was extremely cringe-worthy and poorly delivered. Daniel Dae Kim was almost as bad as Hellboy's other sidekick. Again, a lot of his lines were ADR'd in later and it is really shoddily done. Ian McShane plays Broom, the scientist that found Hellboy and adopted him and he is sleepwalking his way through this role for the sake of an easy paycheck. As is Milla Jovovich, she plays a stereotypical villainous witch and she does nothing here that we haven't seen her do before in other movies.
Over my years of watching almost every comic book movie that releases, I have seen my fair share of cheap, cartoony looking CGI, but this takes the cake. Almost every scene in the movie features some kind of CGI creature and they are all on a similar level of quality to an unfinished student project. One of the moments it really stood out was the giant fight, where we were subjected to not only one bad CGI giant, but three of them. The scene is also shot in broad daylight, which really does the bad CGI no favours. Not once, did anything in this movie look better than anything in the Del Toro movies which came out 10+ years ago.
I'm going to spoil something here, because seriously who gives a fuck at this point? The absolute worst part of CGI though in the entire movie, is undoubtedly during one of the final scenes in the movie where Ian McShane comes back to speak to Hellboy as a ghost. The CG in this scene is genuinely on par with the Rock's CG in in the Scorpion King. Yes, it really is that bad.
The soundtrack is so misused here also. The songs themselves that are featured are all half decent songs, but they do not work in the context of this film and they add absolutely nothing to the scenes that they are used in. The editing is also horrible, there were several times that I was reminded of the cheap editing in shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
The last thing that I want to talk about is the tone and humour, (or lack of,) present throughout the film. The movie opens with a flashback scene showing King Arthur chopping up the witch. The scene is being narrated by Ian McShane and it is chock-full of diabolically awful dialogue and insufferably cheesy line delivery. Whilst watching it I thought, "Oh they are really hamming it up here and going for a really corny tone for these flashback scenes." I then swiftly came to the soul-crushing conclusion that no, this was how the next 2 hours of this movie was going to go. The awful sense of humour is actually comparable to that in a poor quality kids film, with gross out burp and kiss jokes to boot. What happened to the darker, more horror orientated tone that we were teased with when the movie was in pre-production? Any semblance of that is sorely lacking here and it is a shame because I would have quite liked to have seen that movie and there is a good chance that it would have been a lot better than this dumpster fire.
Overall, please don't see this unless you hate yourself. It is two hours of your life that would be better spent doing literally anything else. At the end it has the audacity to tease a sequel which, (if there is a God,) will never happen.
Darren (1599 KP) rated Alone in the Dark (2005) in Movies
Jun 20, 2019
Story: I am going to first look at this only as a story, no opinions on the CGI or casting choices. If you were to look at the story as a solo idea you get a solid action horror. Now I hear people going ‘no its just crap’ so let’s look at the details. First off we have an idea of scientific experiment on children to create sleepers, but something goes wrong so we don’t see why it happened until more discoveries in the future. Then we have a search for hidden treasures of a lost ancient people. Add in a paranormal investigator, a secret government paranormal investigating team and the search for a truth. Now looking at those factors we should have a good story not special but enjoyable. Now with terrible casting decisions, awful CGI and a script that could have been written but a child everything goes south fast. As an idea for a story this is good, but as an execution of a story it’s bad. (5/10)
Actor Review
Christian Slater: Edward Carnby a paranormal investigator who has been trying to uncover the truth about his childhood, this puts him in danger as this time he has got closer than ever before. He must team up with his old organisation to final uncover the truth that has lost him the memories of his childhood. Slater strolls for this role without showing any of the skills that made him a star in the early 90s. (5/10)
slater
Tara Reid: Aline Cedrac assistant curator at the museum who also happens to be Edward’s girlfriend, she gets caught up in the middle of the battle after she uncover the location of the door. Going to take a deep breath before going for this one, just no how did this happen? Try your luck in romantic comedies. (2/10)
reid
Stephen Dorff: Commander Burke leader of a military team trying to keep the monsters away from the public, old partner of Edward but after seeing the truth he teams up with them to uncover the truth. Stephen can act and has proven it many times, just need to give him something to work with. (4/10)
dorff
Frank C Turner: Sam an old connection within the organisation that still communicates with Edward, he fills in the science gaps and you can guess what happens to him by the end. Basic supporting performance. (4/10)
fisher
Matthew Walker: Professor Hudgens scientist trying to open the door to the truth about the ancient people, he will do anything to get his answers including sacrificing anybody who gets in his way. As villains go this is generic one that doesn’t need too much to make them special. (4/10)
profes
Director Review: Uwe Boll – He not only managed to mess up a relatively easy story with awful CGI and lack of directing ideas. (2/10)
Action: Plenty of guns being fired, not sure if they ever hit anything as everything is in the pitch black. (3/10)
Horror: Doesn’t give you any scares, frights, well made with the acting. (1/10)
Settings: The settings used for the gun fights are used well, because they would make real settings for such a discover if someone wanted to keep it quiet. (6/10)
Special Effects: Terrible special effects that I only saw one good one and that was a soldier’s head split in two. (1/10)
Suggestion: I think if you are bored one night and this is on it would be acceptable to watch it as it slips close to the line of so bad you have to see. (Late Night TV)
Best Part: The idea
Worst Part: The CGI, Acting and Execution of the idea.
Believability: No (0/10)
Chances of Tears: No (0/10)
Chances of Sequel: Actually has one sequel
Post Credits Scene: No
Oscar Chances: No
Box Office: $10 Million
Budget: $20 Million
Runtime: 1 Hour 39 Minutes
Tagline: Can mankind defeat the army of darkness unleashed by an ancient evil cult?
Overall: Not only did this film destroy the source material, it ruined any chance the video game had of returning.
https://moviesreview101.com/2014/11/09/alone-in-the-dark-2005/
Actor Review
Christian Slater: Edward Carnby a paranormal investigator who has been trying to uncover the truth about his childhood, this puts him in danger as this time he has got closer than ever before. He must team up with his old organisation to final uncover the truth that has lost him the memories of his childhood. Slater strolls for this role without showing any of the skills that made him a star in the early 90s. (5/10)
slater
Tara Reid: Aline Cedrac assistant curator at the museum who also happens to be Edward’s girlfriend, she gets caught up in the middle of the battle after she uncover the location of the door. Going to take a deep breath before going for this one, just no how did this happen? Try your luck in romantic comedies. (2/10)
reid
Stephen Dorff: Commander Burke leader of a military team trying to keep the monsters away from the public, old partner of Edward but after seeing the truth he teams up with them to uncover the truth. Stephen can act and has proven it many times, just need to give him something to work with. (4/10)
dorff
Frank C Turner: Sam an old connection within the organisation that still communicates with Edward, he fills in the science gaps and you can guess what happens to him by the end. Basic supporting performance. (4/10)
fisher
Matthew Walker: Professor Hudgens scientist trying to open the door to the truth about the ancient people, he will do anything to get his answers including sacrificing anybody who gets in his way. As villains go this is generic one that doesn’t need too much to make them special. (4/10)
profes
Director Review: Uwe Boll – He not only managed to mess up a relatively easy story with awful CGI and lack of directing ideas. (2/10)
Action: Plenty of guns being fired, not sure if they ever hit anything as everything is in the pitch black. (3/10)
Horror: Doesn’t give you any scares, frights, well made with the acting. (1/10)
Settings: The settings used for the gun fights are used well, because they would make real settings for such a discover if someone wanted to keep it quiet. (6/10)
Special Effects: Terrible special effects that I only saw one good one and that was a soldier’s head split in two. (1/10)
Suggestion: I think if you are bored one night and this is on it would be acceptable to watch it as it slips close to the line of so bad you have to see. (Late Night TV)
Best Part: The idea
Worst Part: The CGI, Acting and Execution of the idea.
Believability: No (0/10)
Chances of Tears: No (0/10)
Chances of Sequel: Actually has one sequel
Post Credits Scene: No
Oscar Chances: No
Box Office: $10 Million
Budget: $20 Million
Runtime: 1 Hour 39 Minutes
Tagline: Can mankind defeat the army of darkness unleashed by an ancient evil cult?
Overall: Not only did this film destroy the source material, it ruined any chance the video game had of returning.
https://moviesreview101.com/2014/11/09/alone-in-the-dark-2005/