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Gabriel (Legacy Ranch #2)
Gabriel (Legacy Ranch #2)
RJ Scott | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Gabriel (Legacy Ranch #2) by R.J. Scott
Gabriel is the second book in the Legacy Ranch series, and we find out a bit more about the young man who cried at the trial that happened in book one. His life hasn't been a good one so far, but he is broken enough that he thinks it is just fine. He lives with his pimp, Stefan, who controls every aspect of his life, and makes Gabriel pay for any misdemeanours that Stefan thinks has happened, or that he has just made up because he's not having a good day. Stefan has managed to get into Gabriel's mind and twist things around so that Gabriel is actually thankful for all that Stefan does for him.

Cam, on the other hand, appears to have it all. He runs a successful hotel, has plenty of money, and even has a bodyguard. Things must be good, right? Wrong! Cam's family, with the odd exception, are a bunch of BEEP, condescending, BEEP, know-it-alls, who think that just because Cam is losing his sight, he must be losing all of his faculties too. His father, well, enough said about him!

Cam and Gabriel end up together on a purely business level. Cam needs someone to pretend to be with him, Gabriel wants the money. However, feelings quickly become involved, and then it's anyone's guess. Six tries to tell Cam not to get involved, but Cam pays no attention. Their road is anything but smooth, but luckily the folks at Legacy Ranch are there to help... once Gabriel lets them in.

This is a dark book, with dark topics and it's not a HEA situation full of rainbows and glitter. This is hard, and horrible, and may be a trigger book for some readers. There is light at the end of the tunnel for Gabriel though, and I really hope that he will feature in the next book, just so I can see what progress he's made.

Gabriel is extremely well written, with no editing or grammatical errors that disrupted my reading flow. Like I've already said, it's not an easy book to read, but it is definitely worth it. I would also say that it isn't fully necessary to have read book one in this series, or indeed the Texas series which is where we first meet Jack and Riley. This book does stand on it's own merit, but personally I would recommend reading Kyle at the minimum, just to give you a feeling of what the Legacy Ranch series is about.

If you like your M/M Romance with angst, then I can definitely recommend this book/series. Just remember the trigger warnings!

* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book, and the comments here are my honest opinion. *

Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
  
Bloodshot (Cheshire Red Reports, #1)
Bloodshot (Cheshire Red Reports, #1)
Cherie Priest | 2011 | Fiction & Poetry
10
8.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
What a truly awesome and fresh take on vampires in the crowded genre of Urban Fantasy! The star of <u><b>Bloodshot</b></u> is vampire Raylene Pendle, a top thief of priceless artifacts, who takes on a case from another vampire. This vampire, Ian Stott, was blinded by a top-secret government program and wants Raylene to steal back papers dealing with those experiments. What follows is a fast-paced, scene-changing adventure filled with unique characters that fulfills everything the book promised and more.

Raylene is your typical vampire in a lot of ways: the sun gives her a nasty sunburn to the extent of death, there's no awakening to dusk after decapitation or going up in flames, and of course, she's preternaturally fast and strong. However, she differs in that she's paranoid, self-deprecating, neurotic, and a tad OCD. So while Raylene can kick some major ass and make sarcastic remarks like the rest of the UF heroines, she also second- (and third and fourth) guesses herself a lot and is always prepared for the worst, usually thanks to her quick wits and sometimes even to the helpful contents of her "go-bag". I found Raylene to be a terrific protagonist, and for someone who claims to be anti-social, she sure picks up a lot of "pet people" throughout the duration of the book, which makes her a big, warm, gooey marshmallow inside (even if she doesn't own up to the fact).

What did surprise me was how funny the book was. I laughed, giggled, chortled, snorted, and smiled (usually rather goofily) quite often (there was many a line that left me in hysterics -- good thing I was reading in the privacy of my own home). Judging by the cover, I expected a more serious and suspenseful read, but while I wouldn't say this was exactly light, it wasn't as heavy as I imagined either. The plot moves swiftly each step of the way and kept me glued to the pages; there wasn't one dull moment to be had. Every character that popped up in the book was interesting and fully fleshed out, no bores within these covers, and helped move the story along. The writing was great, from Raylene's first-person inner dialogue to the action scenes, not one thing bothered me overly much.

While there is a sense of closure to the book as a whole, the story is really just beginning and I am left eager (and impatient beyond belief) for the next installment, [b:Hellbent|9842559|Hellbent (Cheshire Red Reports, #2)|Cherie Priest|http://www.goodreads.com/images/nocover-60x80.jpg|14733361] (set to come out August 30, 2011). If one book can make you a fan of an author, surely this one did it for me. Cherie Priest created a great intro to a character whose very vitality is evident every page of this book and has made Raylene one of my new favorites in the UF field.
  
The Disaster Artist (2017)
The Disaster Artist (2017)
2017 | Comedy
Comedic value (1 more)
Acting
Not such a disaster
The Franco brothers star side-by-side in their first major collaboration, in this comedic drama, The Disaster Artist, based on the making of the cult classic 'The Room'.

The film follows Tommy Wiseau (James Franco) as he writes, directs, produces and stars in his first movie alongside best friend Greg Sestero (Dave Franco). It is almost unbelievable as a true story, it just seems like another mad Franco/Rogen movie. But it isn't, this actually happened.

'The Room' was released in 2003, and became a cult classic because of how hilariously awful it was. The storyline, writing, and acting are all very bizarre, and very bad.

But The Disaster Artist is a great movie, with an array of amazing actors, bringing to life the making of the movie, with hilarity.

Before going into this movie, I knew about The Room and had seen several scenes. But all I knew was that it was about the making of the movie, starring James and Dave Franco and also Seth Rogen. But there are many more actors in this that I did not know about which made for a great surprise. Josh Hutcherson, one of my personal favourites, appears as Philip Haldiman who plays 'Denny' in 'The Room', and also Zac Efron, as Dan Janjigian who plays 'Chris-R'.

The actors play excellently all the things that went wrong on the set, such as Wiseau forgetting one line for two hours for a 30-second scene, and his insistence on the cameras catching some great shots of him during the sex scenes.

The casting was great, although they did as expected and almost the whole cast are friends of James, Dave or Rogen. It works though, and they all have brilliant chemistry. It will seem obvious that James and Dave work well together, as they are brothers, but in this movie they play best friends. I think the fact that they are brothers perhaps helped them out as it is a very rocky friendship, and they could perhaps remember times they have had spats about various things.

I can not say too much about the movie without giving away spoilers. But at end of the movie they play some of the scenes side by side; the scene from the movie, alongside the scene that this cast re-enacted. They are pretty accurate, but very funny.

Tommy Wiseau himself also makes a cameo. Make sure you stay until after the credits.

Overall, it is a brilliantly made movie, with both funny and endearing moments. Part of me hopes that on special features on their DVD you can watch the entirety of 'The Room' re-enacted by these actors. The film has already received many nominations for prestigious awards, and I am not surprised.

I would definitely recommend going to see this movie, but at least watch a YouTube summary of 'The Room' first.
  
The Queen Of The Geraticaian Empire
The Queen Of The Geraticaian Empire
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
The Queen of the Geraticaian Empire by Anna Hampton is the third book in The Two Worlds of Geratica Series. This book continues perfectly from where there the previous book left off. I am also happy to see that this is not the final book in the Geratica series. I look forward to seeing the world(s) carry on.

At the direction of The Mistress, Alexandra creates the first Constitution of Geratica that is adopted by the new government. Two main political parties form, Conservatives and Radicals, and elections begin. Elizabeth surprisingly joins the Conservative Party alongside Linda instead of the Radicals as everyone expected after her involvement with the Male Rights Protesters. Unsurprisingly Linda also runs in the elections, not wanting to give up her power. Meanwhile, Alexandra graduates from Castra University and starts looking for employment.

Things are not all smooth sailing though as conditions in Geraticai are still out of balance. The woman placed there from Geratica to be their Queen is put in jail by her own sister-in-law in a play for the throne. The sister-in-law’s seat is not secure either as the Hybrid living inside the Mistress starts thinking up ways to get back at those in Geratica it feels wronged it. The Hybrid plans to attack Geratica, specifically targeting Queen Alexandra and Linda in order to name itself The Queen of the Geraticaian Empire.

What I liked best about this one was how the characters evolved over the course of the book. Linda is starting to relax on her views and accept that times are changing. Other characters are evolving and growing as well, yet her transformation is the most shocking. Although this book was packed full of surprises. There is once again very little that I can negatively say about this book. Having to choose something I would pick the issue of transport between Geratica and Geraticai after the two are separated. It states that direct travel through the transport capsules is no longer possible yet there are a few connected to the Mistress who can still do it so why not everyone?

The target readers for this book remains the same as the first two. That means this book is geared towards adult female readers more so than other groups. While there isn’t as much sex in this one as the previous two books, politics and the occurrence of rape still keeps it at an adult level. I rate this book 4 out of 4. For many books, as the series moves on it starts to lose something and just rides off of the popularity of earlier books. That is not the case with this book. I found this book to be just as well written and compelling as the first two in the series.

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The Conjuring (2013)
The Conjuring (2013)
2013 | Horror
It’s quite easy to think you have a ghost haunting your home. The creeks and cracks of settling foundation, leaky pipes, drafty windows or appliances can sound aerie. Why is it that our imaginations jump to that conclusion and not simply the truth. In some cases this causes people to essentially “cry wolf”, making it hard for us to believe in the true hauntings that have plagued families for generations. The Perron family was one of the many that had been terrorized by a malevolent spirit in their recently purchased farmhouse.

The story follows Ed and Lorraine Warren who’s lives have spent dealing with hundreds of cases of hauntings all around the US. From small hauntings to haunted items and more importantly exorcisms. The film begins with one of their possession cases that involves two young woman who were under the impression that they were being haunted by a little girl who took a likening to their Annabelle doll. They invited the girl to live inside of the doll not knowing that the entity was a daemon. (I do want to interject that the real Annabelle doll was a raggedy Anne doll but for the films sake they made the doll look like it was related to Chucky).

Annabelle is just an introduction to the audience of what Ed and Lorraine Warren do. One of their bigger cases is that of the Perron family. Roger (Ron Livingston), his wife Carolyn (Lili Taylor) and their five daughters move to an old farmhouse in a remote area not knowing the past of the land or the home itself. Ed and Lorraine agree to help the family exorcise their home, not realizing that the case was more dangerous than they had originally thought.

This film is by far the best true ghost story film that I have seen to date. Granted it has somewhat of a slow beginning, once the scares start happening it gets better and better. The acting was not the best nor the dialogue, however if you pay close attention to the story, those weaknesses of the film are easily forgotten. It is extremely refreshing to not see any CGI in a film like this and knowing that it can be as equally scary if not more with simple camera angles and excellent concepts. I also like the absence of blood and gore that has seen to be quite overdone with most horror films lately. The way that practical makeup was used to create such scary characters is only a small part of how much thought was put into this.

This film is scary and when I say that I really mean it. When I screened this, I was sitting in the middle of two big burley men who also jumped at every surprise. If you have been waiting for a film to scare you, this my friends will do it. It is definitely not for the faint of heart.
  
Life Of Pi (2012)
Life Of Pi (2012)
2012 | Adventure, Drama
When I heard that one of my favorite books was being converted into a movie, I was a little skeptical. Add one of my favorite directors, Ang Lee, and my skepticism started to recede. As many know, Lee is renowned for his artistic vision and cinematography. I fell in love with his vision of “Sense and Sensibility,” “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” and “Brokeback Mountain.” To me, if there was a director who could capture the beauty and imagery of this book, it was Lee.

The movie and the book are great parallels of one another. The story revolves around a young Indian boy named Piscine (“Pool” in French) who spent much of his youth in Pondicherry, a French colony of India. Much of the book, and movie, include flash-backs of Pi’s life in India – the ridicule of his name, his father’s ownership of a zoo, etc. When Pi and his family decide to move to Canada due to political concerns (the book covers much more of this, including Pi’s exploration of various spiritualties/religions), they are chartered on a ship. En route, they encounter a fierce storm which capsizes their vessel, leaving Pi on a lifeboat with a Bengal tiger, a hyena, an injured zebra, and an orangutan.

Being the only human on board with said animals, Pi naturally fears for his welfare. He observes the hyena killing the injured zebra and then turning on the orangutan. The orangutan, as one should note, cares for Pi in a very motherly fashion (remember that Pi’s whole family had drowned in the ship), and her death was very difficult for Pi to endure. Eventually, the hyena succumbs to death by the tiger. As further explained in the movie and novel, Pi names the tiger “Richard Parker” and the two of them set out to endure their lives aboard the ship in some strange sort of symbiotic relationship.

Lee’s vision transforms this novel into a brilliant masterpiece. Like “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” you will be awed by the cinematography and artistic interpretation he presents. The young actors employed for the role of Pi (Gautam Belur, Ayush Tandon, Suraj Sharma & Irrfan Khan) are downright perfect and I particularly enjoyed Gerard Depardieu as the grizzled and difficult French cook (not a difficult stretch for him as one can imagine). Overall, as an avid lover of Yann Martel’s novel and Ang Lee’s work, I can say this is a beautiful movie and one many will enjoy (even if you haven’t read the novel – which you MUST do).

My only complaint is that while it is a beautiful representation of CGI technology, sometimes it looked a bit too manufactured and fantastical. Their work on the tiger, however, was downright genius (and I personally hate when they create CGI animals instead of working with the real thing – but in this instance it worked very well). The ending and symbolism of this work is what makes it truly a piece of art. If you’re a fan of “Inception” and “The Sixth Sense,” you will enjoy the twist at the end.

Overall, I think this is a lovely representation of the novel and a great movie all around. I highly suggest checking it out.
  
Flight (2012)
Flight (2012)
2012 | Drama, Mystery
I’m not good with dramas. I like to watch movies to escape reality and dramas are all about reminding you of the turmoil and awkwardness and unpredictability that is reality. But, only if they’re good. Dramas require an emotional response from the viewer, which can only be achieved through great performances, enhanced by story, music and editing. (don’t quote me I could be missing one). If one or more elements are missing, at best it’s an unexpected comedy, at worst you’ve just wasted time and money that you’ll never get back.

Flight in my opinion delivered. We start off with gratuitous nudity (for me it didn’t add to the story but guys will like it) from flight attendant Katerina Marquez (Nadine Valazquez) and a man, Captain Whip Whitacker (Denzel Washington) who’s about to hit his rock bottom. After a night of drinking and snorting some cocaine, together they take to the skies only for it to go horribly wrong, the plane begins an uncontrolled nose dive. Lot’s of close up shots put you right into the aircraft and you almost feel as if you’re on the flight as it’s going down (seriously my heart involuntarily started pounding faster).

Afterwards, the movie really hits its’ stride and gets into the gritty reality of what life can become. Denzel does an excellent job of bringing you in to the internal struggles with his demons; he’s so good in his denial. John Goodman plays a drug dealer Harling Mays, almost as a comic relief which actually works. Don Cheadle plays Hugh Lang, a criminal attorney sent to help Cpt Whitacker as questions arise about what really caused the plane to crash. He plays a great attorney, not smarmy, not slick, but intelligent and sharp, and in his own way, caring.

Nicole Maggen (Kelly Reilly), a drug addict who we witness goes through a relapse that puts her into the path of Cpt Whitacker. Co-pilot Ken Evans (Brian Geraghty) was a convincingly green pilot whom I would not want flying any plane I’m in. And flight attendant Margaret Tomason (Tamara Tunie), a good friend of Whitackers for several years and Pilots union rep Charlie Anderson (Bruce Greenwood) a long time military buddy who comes back into his life because of the crash. I liked both their performances, they really did great in their supporting rolls; you couldn’t have one without the other.

There is a question of devine intervention and redemption, but I think the movie steers clear of being overly religious. (I could have done without Ken Evans wife, overkill in my opinion and not necessary to the story). Anything more I say will spill the beans on the ending, so I’ll leave you with this; it really is unpredictable, you never quite know what Cpt Whitacker’s going to do until he does it. There are beautiful moments and bittersweet moments that create a powerful, emotional ride that I would recommend to someone who likes a good drama. And, even to people like me, who generally try to avoid them.
  
FW
Forever Werewolf
2
2.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Full disclosure: I was given a copy of this book to review. I'm glad I didn't buy it. I imagine I might have been harsher.

In <i>Forever Werewolf</i>, Tryst is just delivering a package to Wulfsiege on behalf of his father's security company when he gets trapped there by an avalanche. He doesn't mind, though, because the recipient of that package has a luscious daughter, Lexi.

Female werewolves are rare, and those few are protected like the precious treasures they are. Even though Tryst wasn't brought up in a pack, he knows that much. He also knows there's something very strange about the fact that Lexi isn't claimed by any of the males in the pack - in fact, they seem to give her a wide berth. She's obviously highly intelligent and competent, and she's beautiful. She's far more alluring to him than her spoiled, pampered princess sister could ever be.

Lexi is fascinated by Tryst, despite being warned away from the half-blooded wolf by her ailing father. He seems interested in her, as well, but she fears that's only because he doesn't know her crippling secret: she hasn't ever shifted. A werewolf who can't shift can't mate, so she's useless in the eyes of the pack.

Tryst is warned away from Lexi by her father, head of the pack, as well, but he can't seem to stay away from her. She's like no other woman, werewolf or mortal, he's ever encountered. What is it that draws them to each other? Is it worth risking their lives for?

It was obvious to me from the first pages of the book that Tryst and Lexi would get together, and that it would cost Tryst many bruises and much grief. The bad guy was all too obvious, as well - if the average reader can't identify him in the first mention, I'll be shocked. (Perhaps I should be more specific and say "experienced romance reader" instead.)

As for <i>Moon Kissed</i>, it was so forgettable that I'd have to look up the main male's name. The female was Bella, something I only recall due to bad memories of <i>Twilight</i>. Oh, wait, the male was Severo! Right then. Severo saves Bella from vampires who chase her, while frightening the hell out of her himself, groping her, and offering absolutely no explanations of the strange new realities her world is suddenly encompassing.

After that event, Bella learns that her best friend Seth's new girlfriend is a vampire, something Seth just hadn't quite gotten around to mentioning. Seth explains that Severo (whose name she doesn't yet know) is probably a werewolf, from her description of him and his actions. Severo has, in the meantime, started stalking Bella to protect her from the vampires he's sure will continue to hunt her (for reasons unknown to him when he starts on this plan of action). After seeing Seth with vampire Evie, with whom Severo has history, Severo realizes that Evie probably sicced the vampires on Bella due to jealousy.

One of the many, many things that bothered me about this book is that Bella is supposedly a web designer, but she never seems to work. She certainly doesn't have a laptop, which would be de rigeur, and she lives in a ridiculously upscale place (an apartment with its very own heated pool?) for someone in that profession. She can afford a lot of dance lessons, too - but her real source of income or capital is never explained. Apparently Hauf was just looking for a profession that could be "done anywhere" and someone suggested "web designer" so she grabbed that and ran with it.

Of course, Severo is also supposed to "do something with real estate" - how believable is that as a character detail? I guess we're supposed to just accept that he's rich, can spend his time as he pleases, and let everything else go without question. How is it that he has a Brownie for a housekeeper? What's the relationship between Faery and werewolves and vampires? Who knows?

The story does not get more believable as it goes on. Of course Bella falls in love with her stalker and trusts him completely. There are evil vampires. There's one good vampire, just to show that they aren't uniformly bad. But you can tell where Severo and Bella's relationship is going in the earliest scenes, and that's the most important part of the book, because it's a romance. There are complications but they'll be overcome, or it wouldn't be a romance.
  
If I Stay (2014)
If I Stay (2014)
2014 | Drama
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.

Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.

Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.

First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.

Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.


If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)
  
Dogma (1999)
Dogma (1999)
1999 | Comedy
Funny and Deep
Talk about off the beaten path. Dogma is at weird as it comes. Offensive to some, hilarious to others, if you can take it for what it is and not get overly deep about it, you'll find yourself watching a quality comedy. The plot? A little complicated to explain without using more words than I would like. I will say that it involves two fallen angels who are looking for a way back into heaven.

Acting: 10

Beginning: 8

Characters: 10
You want characters? This film has them by the boatload. Outside of the fallen angels, you will meet the likes of a woman who is the savior of humanity, a messenger from heaven, and an apostle holding a grudge just to name a few. Dogma is a melting pot of personalities and temperament which is a huge part of what makes the film such a good one. You are going to love Jay the Prophet. He is just plain hilarious. And Alan Rickman's dry sarcasm always makes for a good laugh.

Cinematography/Visuals: 8

Conflict: 8
There are never any real lulls where the film gets boring. There is a lot of dialogue but the progression of the conflict keeps the film moving at a solid speed. I did dock a couple of point for a brief dead spot about an hour in, but there is pretty solid action and comedy throughout for the most part.

Genre: 7
There is a special scene where the characters are discussing a John Hughes movie. The dialogue builds and, before you know it, you're cracking up at every word they're saying. It's scenes like these that contribute to making the film a pretty solid comedy. If the strip club scene doesn't make you laugh, I don't know what will!

Memorability: 10
The originality of the plot and the messaging help the film stand out in my mind among a sea of other movies I've seen. I appreciated the interesting introspection of faith and life. The Belief Vs. Ideas convo was another solid moment. Dogma is funny, but it gives you some things to digest as well.

Pace: 8

Plot: 5
While the plot is certainly intriguing, it was also a bit of a hindrance for me as it got confusing as all get out in certain spots. The struggle to find a short plot description above was real. Not sure what they could have done differently here, but there were certain spots where my experience was dampened by all the crazy stuff happening.

Resolution: 8

Overall: 82
With a solid cast (Ben Afleck and Matt Damon always work well together) and a number of memorable moments, Dogma is definitely worth a watch. Glad I can check this one off the list and add it to my favorites.