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The Bloody Inn
The Bloody Inn
2015 | Adult, Economic, Horror
It’s cliche to post a game review like this so near to Halloween, so I will probably hold off on that. However, what a perfect game to go along with the macabre tone of the Halloween season! Get this: you and your family own a motel in a small town where many travelers stop to rest. You are strapped for cash, so what is a logical step in achieving wealth? Of course! Murdering and robbing your customers upon their stays! No? Not a typical business model? Unsustainable? Pfft. You just aren’t robbing the right customers…

The Bloody Inn is a card-drafting, hand management, horror game of recruiting accomplices and having them carry out dastardly deeds to secure the most money at the end of the game. In it, players take on the roles of one of the inn’s staff members and control pawns in their evil schemes in order to swindle and kill for mountains of francs (it’s set in France, pre-Euro).


To setup, place the main board on the table, give each player the components of their color choice, two Peasant cards, a 10 franc (f) check, and a player aid card. The “traveler deck” is assembled and shuffled per the rules, and placed on the Entrance side of the board. Players choose one room to place a key token in their color, and several gray neutral key tokens are placed in other rooms. Unsuspecting travelers will be staying in these rooms each night. Per the rules, the greediest player is given the first player card and the mischief may begin!
The Bloody Inn is played over several rounds, and each round has players completing three phases: Welcome Travelers, Player Actions, and End of Round. Players will Welcome Travelers to signify the start of the round by the first player drawing one card from the deck at a time and choosing in which room they will be placed.

After Travelers have been welcomed and turn in for the evening, the second phase may begin: Player Actions. In turn order players will be able to perform two actions each round. Players may choose from five different actions, and actions can be repeated for the second action of the round. Players may Bribe a Guest by discarding cards from hand equal to the printed value on the target card’s front. Initially all players simply employ the two starter Peasants, so Bribing is only performed on cards that show a value of 0-2. When a player Bribes a guest, they essentially spend cards from hand to recruit the new guest to their employ. These new employees (accomplices) are then available to be used on future actions. One or two Peasants may also be Bribed from the bistro, adding to a player’s hand of usable human resources.

A player may instead choose to Kill a Guest by similarly discarding the appropriate number of accomplices and adding the freshly-slain guest to their tableau, face-down. The card backs feature a coffin with their “rank” (action number) printed on it. Corpses normally cause no issues, but they will need to be buried under an Annex in order to collect the money in their pockets. Players may use an action to Build an Annex by discarding the appropriate number of accomplices and using a card from hand to build and staff the Annex. Annexes can be used for the action printed on the card bottom, and/or as a housing for corpses, with the Corpses being sent to any player’s Annex via the Bury a Corpse action. Discard the requisite number of accomplices to bury a corpse, and avoid suspicion from the Law.

If none of these actions are attractive to the player, or if they simply wish, they may instead Pass and launder money from the village notary. To do this, either reduce the number of francs from the Wealth Track on the main board in order to gain a 10f check, or turn in a check for 10f on the Wealth Track.

Once all players have taken their two actions, the End of Round is performed. Firstly, if any Travelers remain belonging to the Police type (signified by pistol icons on the top of the card), they will conduct an investigation, finding any unburied corpses. Should a corpse be found in this way, the owning player will need to pay 10f for the local undertaker to dispose of the body respectfully. This not only costs the player 10f, but also the amount of money that could have been gained if they had only buried them or dealt with the Police traveler prior. Next, the Travelers who remain all wake up feeling refreshed and leave the inn by being placed in the discard pile. Once the board has been cleared of all Travelers, accomplices must be paid their wages for their help. For each accomplice in hand, the players must pay 1f from the Wealth Track.


Play continues in this fashion until the main Traveler deck has been depleted twice. Then, players add up their francs and the player with the most in francs and checks is the winner, and just the greatest little murderer/robber/briber in all the land!
Components. This game really has a modest amount of components, but they are all similarly great quality. The main board acts as the inn’s room display, the Wealth Track, AND the bistro (where Peasants are discarded, as opposed to being placed in the normal discard pile). I love when components pull double or triple duty. That said, the player aids not only remind the players of the phases and actions from which they may choose, but it also provides the player with a starter Annex that can be used to bury their first corpse! HOW COOL IS THAT?! However, the greatest thing that stands out in regards to the components is the overall look and feel of the game. The character artist for this one is Weberson Santiago, and he has also illustrated games such as the new Quest (the new version of The Resistance: Avalon), Coup, and the new Whirling Witchcraft. I adore his art style, even though I shouldn’t. My typical preference of character art is semi-realism (like that of Kwanchai Moriya), but this style is really unique and perfectly applied to the theme. Great matchup of artist and game here. I do have one silly wish for this game: PLEASE change the player colors. I mean, I am so tired of having the choice between red, blue, green, and yellow. Take a Cue from my good friend Scott Brady and use one of the more interesting color choices. I mean, even to fit in with the theme here a more appropriate palette could include a brown, black, orange, and yellow or something. Be bold!!

I knew right away that this was a great game for me. Yes, the theme is super dark and macabre, which is rare for me to enjoy, but I would only play this with adults anyway so I am unbothered by it. However, the puzzle that lies within this box is one that I thoroughly enjoy solving every round. What I neglected to mention up top is the fact that when actions are taken (Bribing, Killing, Building Annexes, and Burying Corpses) if you happen to have certain card types in hand, then the cost of discards is reduced by the number of cards present. For example, if I were to Bribe a Police card from the rooms in my first action, they have an affinity for killing (messed up, I know) and will thus help me to perform a Kill action on the next turn by reducing the number of accomplices I would need to discard for that action. Side benefit: by taking the Police Travelers off the board, they then will not perform their investigations in the morning.

Another aspect I truly enjoy about The Bloody Inn is that many cards have that dual-purpose mechanic I appreciate. The player aid is also an Annex. Brilliant! Many of the Annex cards can also offer one-time or recurring powers. It’s just so satisfying to grab cards that can combo well with each other in order to fulfill your evil plans. Every card is important, and when they can offer more than one benefit, I am a happy gamer.

I cannot express how happy I am to have decided to purchase this one. I have seen the BGG ratings and rankings, but always thought I wouldn’t like it due to its very adult theme, but boy was I wrong! This is one of the best games I have played recently and I hope to even bling it out a bit, maybe even with new player colors like I suggested earlier. Laura and my wife were able to join me for this one and they agree with me – this one is excellent and definitely worth consideration into anyone’s collection. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a dastardly 15 / 18. Yeah, it’s perfect for Halloweentime, but also for ANY time. If you are looking for something a little grim and grisly with lighter rules and lots of interesting choices, you need to check out The Bloody Inn. Grab lots of Police cards and go on a killing spree for me!
  
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Mothergamer (1511 KP) rated the PlayStation 3 version of Fallout 3 in Video Games

Apr 3, 2019  
Fallout 3
Fallout 3
Role-Playing
I know. How could I have not played Fallout 3 or Fallout New Vegas? There are many games I haven't had a chance to play and as I've gotten older, I've become a little more discerning about which games I buy right away and sometimes I just miss a game or two here and there. I also wait until things go down in price and only really pay full price for a game if it's something I know I really want. Again, that comes with being an older nerd. At any rate, when I saw that I could buy Fallout 3 and Fallout New Vegas for 10 bucks, I did jump at the chance and I was excited to play. I started with Fallout 3 first of course and it was quite an interesting adventure.

The opening sequence was intriguing with the lone wanderer being born and of course this is so you can choose to be a boy or a girl and design your character and decide their race. I went with Asian girl and as I was picking out all the facial and hair designs, I wondered why there were several varying choices of bald. I mean, I get it. It's Fallout and with spiffy things like radiation poisoning hair falls out and people are bald, but so many choices of bald over actual hair. It was weird. I found a hair choice I liked and everything was great and I started my Fallout 3 story.

So the time jumps from baby to ten years old were interesting for getting to see how life was for my lone wanderer in Vault 101 and there was a birthday party for me where I get my very own Pipboy. Neat. Wandering around talking to everyone including a ridiculous bully named Butch (I was not nice to him and punched him. That was my freaking birthday dessert damn it!) was cool and it definitely sets the story up nicely. Then the time line jumps again and my character is 16 years old and has to take the G.O.A.T. (Generalized Occupational Aptitude Test for Fallout newbies) to decide what they'll be doing.



16 and ready to take the G.O.A.T. test.

A last time jump happens and the lone wanderer is 19 years old and the main story of Fallout 3 begins. The Overseer's daughter and my friend Amata, wakes me up to tell me that her dad is losing it because my dad has left the Vault. Initially I was shocked and wondering what the heck she was talking about, but it turns out it was true. Dad left and didn't say a damn thing to me about it so of course I have no idea what's going on. Amata tells me she'll help me to leave because she doesn't know what her dad will do, so here I am running around trying to escape the Vault and thinking, geeze this is a messed up situation.

I was trying to play the chaotic good path, so I didn't kill the Overseer out of respect for my friend even though her dad was a freaking paranoid psycho. I managed to escape Vault 101 and here was this vast world in front of me and I couldn't wait to explore especially since the setting was in Washington D.C. a place I was familiar with having grown up in Virginia. So I set out to explore what was now known as the Capital Wasteland. I discovered the town of Megaton and the people surviving in the Wasteland and picked up some quests as well. Megaton was definitely cool with all the different houses and the crazy atomic bomb that is just there in the center of town.



Enjoying the view of Megaton.

From there the big thing in Fallout 3 is finding my lone wanderer's dad and getting some answers about why he left and what exactly he was up to. There's all kinds of main quests and side quests for hours of game play giving the impression of a vast world. There's all kinds of danger in the Wasteland too ranging from Super Mutants to Mirelurks which definitely kept me on my toes. There's all kinds of weapons too and of course I liked that I could modify and build my own. You get companions who travel with you too and that includes everyone's favorite canine Dogmeat. I did like the fact that you could have two companions travel with you. I ended up choosing Dogmeat and my Super Mutant friend, Fawkes. They both worked really well together with taking down enemies. There's also two factions of the Brotherhood of Steel, the Brotherhood and the Brotherhood Outcasts. They seemed to have different ideas about what they should be doing. I did like Elder Lyons the leader of the Brotherhood of Steel though. There was a kindness and gentle wisdom to him that was incredibly likable. I did find it amusing to see Maxson and MacCready (they're in Fallout 4) as kids in Fallout 3. They seemed so different from who they are now. I actually liked Maxson better in 3 because he seemed a little kinder and a little more open.



Taking down a Mirelurk.


My lone wanderer did find her dad and got to actually talk to him about what he was up to. Project Purity was a cool concept; the idea of clean water for everyone in the Wasteland was great and the fact that he figured out how to make it work was also great. I just didn't understand why he couldn't tell his own kid what he was up to and instead just left without saying a word and his excuse was the Vault would keep me safe. Really? Sure. I was so safe with the Overseer and his goons trying to kill me. It was hard to stay angry with him though when he was so apologetic and then proceeded to say nice things to his kid about how proud of her he was for surviving and trying to be a good person.

Then, dad and daughter team up to work on Project Purity. I did do some side quests along the way before getting back to the main story. I enjoyed exploring the Capital Wasteland and seeing some familiar places such as the Lincoln Memorial and the Jefferson Memorial. There's even a quest where you can break in to the White House to get somewhere. Granted the majority of it is destroyed, but it was still a pretty neat quest.


Checking out the Jefferson Memorial with Dogmeat.

Of course in the main story, things don't go as planned thanks to the shady people simply known as The Enclave. That's where the Brotherhood of Steel comes in as you work towards the common goal of eliminating the Enclave who apparently have an issue with the idea of everyone in the Wasteland getting pure water that isn't irradiated for free. Again, I ran around and did more side quests for more level grinding and more things. I did like that I got a free house for helping the people of Megaton by quietly disarming that atom bomb before it blew everyone sky high. One of the vendors there sold themes for the Megaton house and I went with pre-war which was nice with a 50s retro feel.



Cool, I got my own house!

Did I enjoy Fallout 3? Absolutely. That isn't to say there weren't flaws. This is Game of the Year Edition so there was no excuse for a lot of the issues I had. This included all the DLC titles and these were fun to play. I especially liked the Broken Steel and Mothership Zeta quests. I also liked the nod to the Cthulhu mythos with the Dark Heart of Blackhall quest. The big thing was the constant game freezes. Mothership Zeta was especially bad with this and it got incredibly frustrating. I did all the tricks suggested; turning off the auto save and clearing some data. That helped a bit, but every once in a while the frame rate would drop and the game would freeze. It turned out this was a common problem on the PS3 and I found myself annoyed with it. Sure, it wasn't a big deal because I could just reload my last save and it would be fine. However, it does take away from the atmosphere of the game when that happens. There would also be odd glitches like Dogmeat walking up in the air above me or my character would disappear and there would be bits and pieces of me visible such as my hair and my hands. That was incredibly weird. The controls were a little clunky and I actually had to change the difficulty to very easy until I got used to them. It wasn't a big deal, but it was noticeable.

I love the Fallout series and there's so much to enjoy about them. However with things like this happening, Bethesda should be embarrassed. For as long as the game has been out, there's no excuse in not fixing known issues especially when it comes to dropped frame rates and the game freezing. It made me glad that I follow my mantra of save my game and save often.

Technical issues aside, I did have fun playing Fallout 3 and liked the story a lot. The characters were good and the different paths I could take for the storytelling were great because it did make me really think about what choices I wanted to make during my adventure. I'm glad I finally got the chance to play it and it was a great game. Now, I'm ready to check out Fallout New Vegas!
  
Savages (2012)
Savages (2012)
2012 | Drama, Mystery
6
6.5 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Over the past 15 years, Oliver Stone’s films have been kind of hit or miss to me. It’s as if Stone is still trying to make the same controversial films he became popular for in the 80’s and early 90’s. Only, as an audience, we have become keen to his filmmaking style and therefore his more recent work suffers from the apathy of a “show me something new” culture. Still, despite his failures, Stone does not makes apologies for his work while he continues in his quest to make films about controversial subjects. This time around Stone strives to take us into the violent world of the Mexican drug cartels though a film adaptation of the novel Savages by Don Winslow.

As the film opens we are introduced to “O” (Blake Lively) who, as our narrator, acquaints us with the open yet loving relationship she shares with our two protagonists, Chon and Ben. Chon (Taylor Kitsch), an ex-Navy SEAL, is unquestionably the muscle of the trio’s operation. Chon was the original financier for his high school friend Ben, (Aaron Johnson) the peaceful, charitable, botany genius who has created the most potent marijuana in the world. Together these two embody the perfect man for O, while the three of them enjoy the spoils of the small marijuana empire they created in southern California.

That is until they gain the attention from a Mexican cartel intent on creating a stronger foothold in the southern California area. The cartel offers them a partnership and explains that by teaming up their business will triple in three years. But when the trio refuse the offer, the ruthless head of the cartel, Elena (Selma Hayek), instructs her enforcer, Lado (Benicio Del Toro), to kidnap O and hold her hostage so the boys will cooperate. Soon our heroes use their network of connections, like crooked DEA agent Dennis (John Travolta) and financial broker Spin (Emile Hirsch), to battle the cartel in a series of savage maneuvers to get back their one “shared” love.

Stone has been known to inspire his actors to give Oscar worthy performances. Sadly, you will not find any such performances here. That is not to say that the acting was terrible. It just seemed that the characters themselves are uninspired which is a shame because I would have liked to have seen some growth in this young cast, especially from Taylor Kitsch.

I feel that many critics will be hard on Taylor Kitsch because of his previous epic fails of 2012 (John Carter and Battleship) however I am surprised to admit that, for this movie at least, he gets a pass in my book. Not because he delivers a fantastic performance that makes me believe he’s truly an up and coming talent, but rather because he is convincing in his portrayal of Chon. When O describes our protagonists as each being one half of the perfect man, she refers to Chon as “Hard Steel,” which is exactly what Kitsch plays him as, a one-dimensional, emotionally devoid character with no growth or any real redeeming qualities other than the ability to go to war. Regardless of whether or not Kitsch has any additional acting range not showcased in this film, I cannot penalize him for his performance in this movie. He fit the part that he was cast in fine.

Blake Lively (Gossip Girl, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) plays O, short for Ophelia. And yes she channels the mad, love-struck, melancholic character from Hamlet after whom she is named. And while it is easy to make those comparisons to the character of this film, they only appear to be on the surface, if anything. And herein lies the problem. Regardless of how you feel about her open relationship with Ben and Chon, the more I learned about her, the less I cared. Like Kitsch’s character, O is boring and one dimensional. She is the product of being a pretty little rich girl whose mother is off somewhere with husband number twelve. She has been getting stoned every day since she was young and the only place she finds herself loved is in with the company of Chon and Ben. Tragic, I know. While watching the film I honestly thought to myself, if I was Ben or Chon, I would say, “Fuck it. Cut her loose and let’s go to Asia.” She has no redeeming qualities other than being good looking and a good lay. So why would they go through so much trouble for her? The trio’s relationship is weakly tied together by her telling us through narration but never really materializes on screen. At times you get some of a feeling that Ben actually loves her but that love is never really reciprocated from O. It is safe to say that that I did not derive any loving connection from Lively’s performance, though her deliver as a narrator was tolerable.

Aaron Johnson (Kick-Ass) is the one redeeming performance from this young cast. In contrast to Chon, O describes Ben as “Soft Wood” which makes him the better half. Ben is the one character who actually goes through some kind of character arc and growth. Using the wood analogy, we watch him bend from the peaceful Buddhist businessman to the man who will sacrifice everything, to get back this woman he loves. Nowhere is this better embodied than when Ben is faced with the tough choice of sticking to his peaceful beliefs or incinerating a man in cold blood during one of their moves against the cartel. I found myself actually curious about what Ben would do next. Unlike Chon and O, Ben has some depth and struggles with his personal beliefs, his love for O and what needs to be done. Needless to say, Johnson delivers a believable performance that actually helps move along the action and was the only protagonist that kept me interested in their battle.

In addition to Johnson, the film is littered with several strong supporting cast members who all deliver solid performances. Selma Hayek is strong as Elena, the leader of the cartel that challenges Ben and Chon. She is a ruthless and shrewd businesswoman and yet has a better “sense of morality” as she explains during her interactions with O and her own daughter. Her enforcer Lado is played by Benicio Del Toro who, with the help of an uncomfortable rapist mustache, comes off as an extremely menacing character. Del Toro solidifies himself on screen by being down right creepy and yet intelligent in his own savage way. During every moment of screen time you expect him to kill someone just because it is good for business.

A needed bit of change of pace is provided by an unexpected performance by Emile Hirsch (Into the Wild) as Ben and Chon’s witty financial broker, Spin. As well as by John Travolta who plays Dennis, the dirty DEA agent who’s in Ben and Chon’s pocket. In fact, even though Travolta’s screen time is maybe a total of 12 minutes, his performance steals the show with his sole bit of comic relief, for lack of a better explanation. Perhaps the strongest acted moment of this film is during a standoff scene between Del Toro and Travolta that in many ways makes me want to know more about those characters. And what that movie would be about.

In typical Stone fashion the movie is shot in a variety of film angles and stylistic devices used to foreshadow and at times create a foreboding presence. Visually the movie provides a strong and believable feeling for the world these characters live in and the way that they operate their business. In addition, narration is used at points to move along the action and provide the audience with insight that otherwise would not have been possible on performances alone. I personally have no problem with narration as long as it is set up from the beginning and used to advance the story, which it is. However in the final act, the movie introduces a film device from left field that completely kills the already weak pacing of the movie. I cannot get into it without giving away the story, but I can see how this device could completely ruin the movie for those patrons who are already disinterested by the time the final act rolls around. Especially for those who do not find any connection to any of the characters. In which case, the pacing of this film will seem slow and drawn out.

I am torn about my review of this film. Savages is something that I wanted to like more than I did. Two of the three protagonists are one dimensional and if it was not for Johnson and the strong supporting cast I might have found the movie boring. It was also completely different from the expectations set by the commercials. Those looking for an action movie will feel misled and will more than likely be disappointed with the film. Not that there is not any action, only it comes between very long periods of dialogue and slow pacing. By the end of the movie, you are either invested in these characters or just waiting for the lights to come up in the theater. And in typical Oliver Stone fashion the movie tries to make us question our own perception of just what it means to be a savage.
  
The Last of Us Part II
The Last of Us Part II
2020 | Action/Adventure
You Won't Find A Better Game In Terms Of Presentation. (4 more)
Level Design Is Astounding.
Like The First Game, This Will Create A Conversation For Years To Come
Sound Design Is Incredible.
Takes Risks, And Some Do Pay Off.
A Flawed Sequel. (4 more)
Awful Pacing.
Structure Of Narrative Is Bad.
Some Terrible Dialogue.
Shoehorned Agenda.
The last of The Last of Us.
The video game industry doesn't get enough credit as a source of entertainment, in my humble opinion. Time and time again, the industry has proven that it can produce something magical, memorable, mesmerising to play, and even more so, something engaging to watch as someone not even holding the controller. Naughty Dog’s 2013 masterpiece, The Last of Us, became an overnight classic game because it was cinematic in presentation, and a rollercoaster of emotions in narrative. I sat and played the remastered version on my PlayStation 4 in 2017, and fell in love with the chemistry, love and heartbreak Joel and Ellie took with them, as they crossed a post-apocalyptic America. I was satisfied with the conclusion, and felt the story of these two characters was finished. I didn't need, or ever want a sequel. Then a few months pass, The Last of Us Part II is announced. Obviously, I was ecstatic, but also concerned. Trailers came and went, delays happened over and over, and leaks began to drip onto the internet. I was even more concerned with the leaks, and how this game was taking shape, but I remained open minded, and began playing the game.

The Last of Us Part II is a strange beast. An ambitious, exquisite experience, mired by multiple flaws in structure, pacing and plot holes. I simultaneously adored and loathed the twenty five hour experience, and I’m ready to do it all again. Ellie’s thirst for revenge deals with many issues of morality and hate, and the consequences of ones actions. To coin a phrase, “violence begets violence”, and this is very violent. A flawed piece of art, that often shoehorns a political tick list so it can cater to a certain demographic of sexuality and gender. Whatever you think about Part II, it will create a conversation for years to come, for better or worse.

Narrative:

Ellie and Joel are settled in Jackson, Wyoming, living a relatively normal existence. Ellie is nineteen, and has a job, like the rest of the fighters in Jackson, by going out into the world on routes to clear out the wondering infected. When Ellie witnesses a violent event, she takes it into her own hands to take bloody revenge on the people responsible.
A big risk was taken by Naughty Dog to decide what they did for the first two hours, even the VP of the company, Neil Druckmann, said himself the game will be “divisive”, and that is probably an understatement judging by the fan backlash. I feel it worked to support the other twenty three hours, and shows the blurry line of being good and bad in this world.
Unfortunately, the narrative slogs through awful structuring and some dreadful, downright cringe-worthy dialogue. The structure goes back and forth from the present day, to months, and sometimes years previous, and this is all to cement the events that keep the narrative flowing. The flashbacks featuring Joel and Ellie give you brief moments of happiness, followed by devastating revelations. They are the best moments of the game, you can feel the warmth the characters have for each other, and the heartbreaking actions they take. It made me wonder why they simply didn't just create a game with these ideas in mind. Other flashbacks create more problems than they solve, particularly in the latter half of the game. The first half, for all its faults, really treats you to a vicious and bloodthirsty ride through Seattle, and you completely feel the motivation and drive Ellie has to complete the mission she's set out to do. Seattle is huge, and the perfect backdrop for this game.
Sadly, the second half of the game is an absolute mess. The whole experience becomes nothing more than “go to this location, collect something, go back” over and over again. Its a lazy trope that causes so much fatigue in terms of pacing, slowing down any momentum gained by the first half. The second half serves the most important purpose too, and while I did grow to understand the intention it was presenting me, I couldn't help but feel frequently bored of doing fetch quests. To remain as spoiler free as possible, the game is split into two perspectives of Ellie, and an entirely new character. Naughty Dog wants you to understand the perspectives of both sides, but the history thats been created with the original game, you cant help but sympathise with Ellie more. The fact that its half the game away from the main protagonist, and starts you fresh with a new character, with new skill sets and weapons, really feels out of place. This could of worked much better as an episodic entry, rather than just two stories, one after the other. I can understand people who love this way of storytelling, but for me it slows the pacing down.

Gameplay:

Part II is the most beautiful game I’ve ever played. Naughty Dog continue to set the bar extremely high in terms of surroundings and facial animations, and the seamless transitions from cutscene to gameplay made my jaw drop. Each facial movement shows the hurt, the honesty, the devastation the characters carry with them. It almost feels more like a film or tv series than a video game, featuring an excellent performance from Troy Baker, and a career defining show from Ashley Johnson. Unfortunately, some of the new cast members don't have enough time on screen to give a full understanding of their personality or perspective. Some are likeable, relatable even, but some are just annoying, saying some of the strangest, out of place dialogue.

In terms of its gameplay, Part II hasn't really changed anything from its predecessor. It feels the same, whether you enjoyed it first time round or not. I personally am in the middle ground, it works for what it is. The Last of Us has always been a game about surviving by any means necessary. Part II feels like multiple ideas all in one, all conflicting themselves. Let me explain:
The game actively tries to twist the act of killing people to make you seem like its an awful thing to do. This is an interesting idea that has been done many times before in games, but it works in the oddest of ways here. I have completed the game twice now, and found it almost impossible to not kill anyone, yet cutscenes display remorse within the characters after they’ve murdered someone. This conflicts the idea of the whole game, where one moment I'm slicing a persons throat with a knife, the next I do the exact same, but this time I regret that decision. Again, its adding less weight to the story, and actively contradicting everything that happens.

Extra Notes:

The environments of Part II are some of the best in a video game. A sandbox of lush greenery and worn down buildings follows the same formula that Naughty Dog designed in Uncharted: The Lost Legacy, where you can explore a massive space to do what you find the objectives, but also see the sights and collect items. The level design of the entire game is absolutely masterful, but this level astounded me graphically and structurally.

By this point, it probably feels like I utterly hated Part II. I did, and didn’t, and thats the line I'm sticking on. The Last of Us always presented a commentary as to the nature of relationships, love, life and death. At the core was Ellie and Joel, two wayward strangers forced together on a journey across America. Everyone has a reason to love that game, for me its their chemistry and progression. Joel was hardened, standoffish, only to warm to Ellie, and love her by the end. Ellie, the immune girl who's humorous, optimistic and full of life, who ultimately becomes cold, quiet and sceptical of Joel.
Part II presents a different commentary, one of revenge and hate. I firmly believe Part II is weak in most areas, a downgrade in fact compared to its counterpart, but its so beautiful and bleak, with so many incapsulated moments of joy, heartbreak, love, shock. Its uncompromising, relentless and essential for anyone with a PS4. This will be a game I will constantly change my opinion on the more I think about it. As I said at the beginning, I never felt a sequel was necessary, and I firmly believe the story must end here.

(P.S. I must mention that Naughty Dog and Sony have only themselves to blame when it comes to the reception Part II has received during its release and promotional material. Early reviewers were told that they could only go into detail about the first ten or so hours, not mentioning the other fifteen. The other fifteen hours are incredibly important to mention, and they either make or break this game, so not letting reviewers do their job feels disingenuous, and from my point of view shows that they had no faith in their product to be criticised. The promotional material is also hugely misleading. The trailers show a completely different game, and characters are swapped for others in key scenes. That is wrong, and once again, shows your audience you had zero faith in your product based on the actual plot of your game.)
  
The Road to Canterbury
The Road to Canterbury
2011 | Humor, Medieval, Religious
I am not a sinless man. In fact, it’s been years since I’ve been to confession, and at this point I’m afraid I would be there for hours just spilling the beans. I know many pious people, but alas, I am not one. However, I do appreciate those that attempt to live that holy life. It takes a lot of guts and a lot of hard work. I guess I’m a little slothy when it comes to that, personally. Anyway, I know of the Seven Deadly Sins, Cardinal Sins, Capital Vices, or whatever you’d like to call them. In fact, I really like the movie Seven – I think it’s great! That said, let’s find out just “what’s in the box?”

The Road To Canterbury is a game of medieval hand management and area influence. In it players are false pardoners stalking the road to the city of Canterbury as pilgrims make their way there from London. As their companies run across these pardoners, they are offered the chance to purchase pardons – salvation and forgiveness for their sins. However, these pardoners are also keen to help the pilgrims along the path of sin, thus making their faux pardons worth even more money! The pardoner who ends the game with the most money will win along The Road to Canterbury.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of the Impoverished Pilgrim Edition (2nd edition) game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, follow the rulebook, as there are many components to track. The main areas are the Circle of Sin mat that holds the Parson pawn, the decks area that hold the various decks of cards from which players will be drawing, and each player’s personal area where players will hide their earnings and hand of cards behind the privacy screen. Once all is setup somewhat correctly, it should look similar to the photo below. Warning: When I set this up and took the photo, I neglected to realize the red company and the map tiles were translated to the wrong spaces, so just switch those.
The Road to Canterbury is a game of rounds, and each round players will be taking similar steps: Play One Card, Redraw, Perform a Reckoning of Sin. Players will have access to three different types of cards that can be played during the Play One Card phase: Sin cards (five of which are dealt at setup), Pardon cards, and Relic cards. During this phase, the active player can play a Sin card to one of the active Pilgrims to tempt them towards committing that sin. The first time the player adds a Sin card to a Pilgrim, they place one of their corruption cubes on the matching sin on the Circle of Sin. Alternatively, they may play a powerful Relic card that offers adjustments to the rules, or has some interesting results. When a player feels that enough Sin cards of a specific type have been played on a Pilgrim, they may opt to play a matching Pardon card in order to gain precious coin to their pockets. Each Pardon card essentially pardons ALL the sins of that type on the Pilgrim, and the player then collects coins exponentially for a larger total of matching Sin cards on that Pilgrim. If the Parson is currently sitting on the matching sin, the pardoner receives extra coin for it being an especially egregious sin in the eyes of the church. Each time the Pilgrim is pardoned, the pardoner places one of their corruption cubes upon the Pilgrim.

After the active player has played their card, they must Redraw their hand back to five cards, choosing to draw from the Sin, Pardon, or Relic offerings. Some Sin cards may be drawn that are Death Approaches cards. When these surface, they are immediately attached to the Pilgrim whose color matches that of the drawn card’s border color. This essentially eats up a slot on the Pilgrim that could be used for a Sin card to be pardoned.

Once the player has redrawn cards to their hand they must next Perform a Reckoning of Sin. The active player assesses each active Pilgrim to see if they have seven or more cards attached to them. If so, that Pilgrim will perish from the “deadly” sins. Whichever player has placed the most number of corruption cubes upon the Pilgrim is considered present at time of death and will receive credit for the sending to the heavens. They move one of the cubes upon the Pilgrim to the first space on the map tile, earning bonus points and a Last Rites token. Last Rites may be performed immediately to take another turn, or may be held until the end of the game for a 3 VP bonus per token. The most interesting aspect of a Pilgrim dying is the fact that their card now becomes a permanent placeholder underneath their company’s colored banner. So the next Pilgrim to enter play for that company will need only six additional cards to kick the bucket, and so on.


Play continues in this fashion of players taking turns through their three phases. The game ends when all the spaces on the map tile are filled with cubes. Bonus points are counted, coins are added, and the player with the most money/highest score is the winner! The best temptress and pardoner this side of Yorkshire!
Components. I have no experience with the first edition of The Road to Canterbury, so unfortunately I cannot compare and contrast components. However, I have seen many photos and even checked out a review video or two. What I can say about components is that this edition has refreshed the look of nearly everything, and so much for the better. Instead of boring plain cards, there’s just a little more decoration. Not so much to be invasive or distracting, but very tasteful. The component quality throughout is quite stellar. There’s a lot of cardboard in this box, and it all looks and feels great. I do quite like the art style, even though it’s all medievall-y and too artsy for my normal preference. All in all a great quality box of game.

So like I said, I have no experience with this game prior to receiving it and playing through it now. It certainly doesn’t feel like a 10-year-old game, nor does it really feel like many of the Alf Seegert games I have played in the past. Neither of these points are bad at all, just some thoughts I had.

It should be obvious by my ratings graphic that I dig this game a lot. I have nothing like it in my collection, and I am super excited to really bring this out with different types of gamers to see how it fares (once the COVID is no longer an issue, of course). I see this being a hit with my family, who enjoys a lot of take that style games. I see this being a hit with my more thinky gamer friends, because there are just so many juicy choices to be had every turn. I can see this even being a hit with my more gateway friends, because it isn’t terribly heavy, has some humor in it, and I can see the prospect of sowing sin and killing off innocent Pilgrims being attractive to some of my more morbid friends.

For me, I love the ability to take every turn and make important decisions. I try to make every turn meaningful to my agenda, but tactical with what may be at my disposal at the time. When should I play this Relic? Why is named something ridiculous? Should I wait a while longer to pardon this sin, or should I pile on another and then pardon next turn? Ooh, but what if my opponent has the same Pardon card. Am I truly happy that this poor Wife of Bath is about to kick it? GAAHHHHH!

Now it’s no secret that I am a big fan of Dr. Seegert’s games, as I have previously reviewed Fantastiqa and Haven with very high ratings. So, I was not at all surprised that I would love this one as well. It offers so many great choices, looks great on the table, fills a unique void that was present in my collection, and can be played with various types of gamers, even though it is designed for two or three players total. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one an unapologetic 5 / 6. I don’t think it will break into my Top 10, but I certainly won’t rule it out quite yet. More plays with different types of gamers may change my mind on that statement, and I eagerly await my plateful of crow. So if you are like me in your gaming preferences, check out this version of The Road to Canterbury. Let me know how often you tend to grab Relics too, because I feel like I need to utilize them more, but it is so hard to pass up a Sin or Pardon. I Lust after them so very badly.
  
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Another film ruined by Endgame's splendour
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Rise of Skywalker

Some endings are welcomed whilst others are heart-breaking and sudden, then there is this movie that closes a curtain that’s older than my very bones. In the time from 1977 there has been highs, lows and Jar Jar Binks a plenty and lots and lots of toys, lunchboxes and soap sets in all shapes of droids. The film itself opens and quickly reintroduces all the main characters and sets up the plot lines for each person and they embark on a path that is destined for them all to meet later. Kylo Ren is on a solo Gooniesesque mission to retrieve something darker than One Eyed Willies rich stuff with the aid of a Toblerone shaped virtual map. Helmetless and emotionless he encounters the Emperor you in fact is not dead but just chilling out with many engineers, Sith corpses and a big evil throne that he may use to do dark side Sudoku. Kylo Ren must kill Rey and then he and Palpatine might both crack a smile and take turns on the evil throne as all powerful rulers.
Is it a bird? Is it plane? Well its half bird in name alone it’s the Millennium Falcon doing what it does best and being chased and escaping for the numerous time but this time they are light speed jumping even though they are told not to, naughty naughty. Po and Finn get some gossip and head to the planet the Rebels are all hiding on to share their news. Enter the heroine its Rey in a new outfit and floating up high but failing to entice the Jedi spirits to appear but why would they this early on in a film. The hero’s all use the gossip from the Empire spy and Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO depart in the Millennium Falcon. Space trip!!!
They head for a Space desert that is like Mardi Gras with sand, it’s so lucky that these sandy terrains are common in space like they are common on Earth as Star Wars loves these arid landscapes. They get into a scrape as they always seem to do but with Stormtroopers being inept and despite being airborne, they now fail on both land and air to do anything other than being a source for explosions. C3-PO finally gets the chance to be of actual use but in his golden and splendid way he is unable to translate a Sith message orally and it remains unheard and unseen in his memory banks. Kylo Ren mentally Skype calls Rey and she forgets to turn off her location settings and he turns up. In the ensuing melee Rey turns up the bad ass levels and destroys an Empire ship containing the Wookie we all fell in love with Chewbacca. In a big fiery furball of fire he is gone, Rey is beside herself with regret and they all escape on board Not the Millennium Falcon. Another planet another mission to add to the collection sees the group hoping to find a brain surgeon to extract the Sith message from C3-PO. On planet Jim Henson we see a large collection of weird and wonderful puppets and cosplay experts. The downside of the brain surgery is it will format C3-PO to the factory settings so he can learn to be annoying to everyone all over again. A little shaved Mogwai turns out to be the master surgeon and he completes the job easily enough and they retrieve the message, but the worst fears are realised as C3-PO remembers no one.
From the furry flames Chewbacca, we find out is not dead but merely being pampered in the Empires many hair and nail bars. Sensing this fashion disaster waiting to happen Rey organises a rescue mission and they break into the Star Destroyer with relative ease until Poe, Finn are caught and assigned to death. Rey is on her own mission and breaks into Kylo Ren’s bachelor pad and has a look around and gets the Sith dagger and another Skype call from Kylo Ren is taken where he tells her some missing parts of her childhood and about her true lineage as a pesky Palpatine. The age-old Star Wars family is not who you think it is trope is wheeled out once more. Learning from her previous failures of her location services she refuses to tell Kylo but when the melted helmet of the original absent father Darth Vader falls at Kylo’s feet he knows she is in his room. Enraged in case he left any interspace porn lying around his room he quickly makes a run for his awesome ship.

With certain execution facing Poe, Finn and the now unlucky Chewie and the blasters set to wipe them out General Hux turns Rouge One and saves the heroes at the last second. With his turncoat and spy status ensured he shows his true childish colours and he wants Kylo Ren to lose because he has longer and hair on the darker side of black (maybe). Before allowing them to escape he asked for a blaster wound to give his story of them overpowering the guards some weight, surely a fool proof plan with your boss being able to mind read. He takes a blaster to the knee before hobbling to explain himself before being shot as the traitorous Rebel scum he is. If only he had lived long enough, he may have seen his wish come true. They well-travelled hero’s travel to space Astoria for another Goonies part of the quest where they see the remnants of the second Death Star and use the dagger doubloon to perfectly line up where the way finder is located. A big source of luck as the waves that engulf the planet and are crashing all around the wreck of the Deathstar have avoided any damage over the years. It’s deemed impossible to traverse the giant waves until morning but when Rey sees her opportunity she sails over the waves with relative ease while the rest of the heroes are chatting to a local about zero hour Strom trooper contracts and a lack of a good sickness benefit policy. As Rey makes it to the wreckage, she is met with Kylo Ren and they have a lightsaber battle after he smashes the way finder and asks her to join him in getting rid of Papa Palpatine and being the Sith power couple. Kylo seems to be building up the anger in Rey and trying to temp her to give in to her rage. Some great action shots and some force leaps make this a memorable fight scene until Leia ‘force times’ Kylo distracting him enough for Rey to become the victor. This is the last stand for Leia as she gives up the ghost and therefore becomes one of those ghost Jedi figures. With a sudden change of heart and with the wound barely open Rey uses her force healing abilities to fill Kylo’s hole right up before stealing his ship and leaving him stranded on Goonieland. With all this free time Kylo throws away his lightsaber and becomes Ben Solo once more and squeezes in a catch up with his old dad Han in dreamworld or memoryland.
Rey is now on a mission to destroy the Sith and the Emperor on the hidden planet now she has the map but only after setting Kylo’s sweet spaceship on fire and then realising her error. This impulsive nature may be leading to the dark side!! She heads to Exegol the Sith planet just as Palpatine is setting his sights on getting on with ending the Rebellion once and for all. If a job is worth doing its worth doing it yourself and orders the destruction of planet by a weapon that’s on each Star Destroyer. When Rey catches up with the Emperor, he is happy to see her and he invites her to strike him down, probably to become more powerful than we can imagine. Rey leaves a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs and she is followed by the resistance and they have a plan to take on the Final Order by destroying a central communication tower, so again a rather simple way to stop some heavy duty weaponry; the old classics are the best!!! It becomes a bit Star Wars of the Rings with space horses appearing and galloping to the rescue, not since the ill-fated days of the Phantom Menace has wildlife shocked me in such a manner. Back to the will she, won’t she, Rey and the Emperor are still wanting different things and Palpatine has invited the ghosts of Sith past to witness his greatest triumph. Rey has a choice of lightsaber’s due to Leia giving her an extra, maybe there was a reason for this!! Oh, wait Ben Solo has arrived lightsaberless what a stroke of luck!! Palpatine has had enough and he decides to drain both the Jedi’s of their life force and levels ups and gets back to rage mode and gets his lightning on. He dispatches Ben and then takes out the full resistance fleet with an impressive lightning show. Rey in her weakened state finally perfects the connection with the Jedi spirits that she failed at early in the film. Armed with the x-factor of crossed lightsabers she pushes the Emperor back and turns his own electricity and his face is melted off Raiders of the Lost Ark style. Ben then comes back into the mix and repays the force healing from earlier and gives Rey the gift of life followed by a kiss. This is a kiss of death literally and he fades away into nothingness. In scenes not seen since the Avengers help arrives when all hope is gone, and the fight is won by the good guys again.

I felt that this film was too fast paced and had too many storylines that were quickly explored and this was at a detriment to what could have been. Maybe on repeat viewing there will be the chance to slow down and explore the potential of the film. Some scenes were for the older generation and some were for the newbies to the galaxy far, far away and this again was at a cost to the whole experience. This all being said the watch was enjoyable and had its genuine emotional moments and humour was used to break the tension at times with C3-PO having a few choice lines for once.
  
If I Stay (2014)
If I Stay (2014)
2014 | Drama
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.

Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.

Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.

First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.

Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.


If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)
  
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Dana (24 KP) rated Crooked Kingdom in Books

Mar 23, 2018  
Crooked Kingdom
Crooked Kingdom
Leigh Bardugo | 2016 | Science Fiction/Fantasy, Young Adult (YA)
10
9.1 (22 Ratings)
Book Rating
This post will 100% be full of spoilers for both the first book and this book, so if you have not read either, please leave the post now, because you need to read this series. The review will be here when you get back, I promise.

Can I just say that Leigh Bardugo is a phenomenal writer? I just want to put that out there first, so we can move on to some more interesting stuff, but damn. That woman is a genius when it comes to the written word! Her plot lines are almost always amazing and her characters are just, wow!

Okay, so let's start off with the overall plot arc. As much as I hated the beginning because Inej wasn't with the crew, it was so cool to get the other characters working together to try to help save her. I do enjoy the fact that saving her wasn't the biggest aspect of the plot. If it was, I don't think it would have been as convincing of a story. Then we move on to revenge as the rest of the plot. I just want to say that I freaking love revenge plots. They give purpose to everything that each character does, and just moves the story along well!

The fact that we weren't just tied to this book was great too! I loved how we got characters from the Grisha Trilogy in here. I was hoping that we would get more than just the mention that was given to us in the last book, but we got Genya, Zora and freaking Nikolai! They were amazing and brought more depth to the story that we may not have gotten without them.

I loved how Kaz was able to plan out every step in detail, assuming what people would do next. He is a master at his craft, I will tell you that.

Okay, so now onto some character studies:

I am going to start out with Nina. That girl has been through so much already, and it never fully gets better for her. From having to deal with the side effects of the withdrawls from Jurda Parem, having her best friend kidnapped, to having to find out her powers have been altered, to having the love of her life ripped from her, she does not have a good time in this book! I just wanted to wrap her up in a coat and feed her waffles, but she doesn't even really get those either! I just hope that she is able to find peace in Ravka with her fellow Grisha.

Now onto Matthias. He was honestly one of my favorite characters. The way he would try not to like or agree with the Dregs' way of doing things was just so hilarious and when he would try to fend off Nina's advances, I would actually cackle. He was the signal of change in the book. The proof that things could get better, but even that failed him. In his attempt to share the light of truth onto another Druskelle, he was inevitably killed for his beliefs. At least he finally got to kiss Nina, even if it was one of his final acts.

Now we are moving on to Jeseper. We got to meet his dad! Woo!! That was a really interesting relationship and backstory. I really like how sassy he is at all times, even if his sarcasm gets him in to trouble more times than not. Also, I love how he is a great shot because of his innate Grisha abilities. That was freaking amazing and I am so damn happy about it. I also love how smitten he is with Wylan. Like, for Christ's sake he calls him Wy when he starts crying. They are each others' rocks in the seas of shit that they cling to for dear life.

It's Wylan's turn! I hated how he wasn't fully himself for most of the book, but mostly I hated how inadequate he made himself feel. He is a genius and he shouldn't think anything less of himself. His relationship with his mother (who ISN'T dead?!?!?!?) is so sweet. But his brutality and unforgiving nature that shows up throughout the book was kind of a shock. He had been so mousy and quiet in the first book, but boy did that boy spit fire once he found out his father's assholishness. His back story is so tragic, like his father tried to straight up have him murdered when he thought he was just going off to a school that could actually make him happy. Jan Van Ick (lol) deserved every bit of punishment he got. I am glad he got what he wanted out of life. I also am in love with how he and Jesper first met.

Kuwei's got to get a little paragraph too. He is kind of annoying. I decided I didn't overly like him when he tricked Jesper into kissing him. Like, I totally understand, Jes is amazing, but he is TAKEN by my favorite ginger. Step back! I do, however, hope he is successful in finding a cure for Parem and making sure it does not get into the wrong hands.

Off to my boy Kaz. He makes himself out to be this stone cold guy with no feelings, but we all know how much of a lie that is. Holy hell, that boy is smitten with Inej. He takes every precaution he possibly can with her, much to her chagrin, but he just wants her safe. I was constantly yelling at my book, and therefore at him, to just take a chance! Tell Inej how you feel and why you are the way you are, but he wouldn't!!! It was so frustrating! But then, that moment when he is changing her bandages was so freaking tense. Like, they didn't even do anything, but damn, the tension in that room could have hurt someone. And then, at the end when he got her the boat AND found her parents, I almost died. I was so freaking happy he finally did something with his feelings, even if he didn't fully tell her, I think she got the hint. He even got the Menagerie to be shut down and burned, if that doesn't scream romance (from him), I don't know what does! And him getting the Dregs back was such a cool power move! He got every bit of revenge he wanted, including scaring the shit out of Pekka Rollins. So freaking good! Brick by brick bitches!

And finally, it's time for my favorite: Inej. Just like Nina, she has been through too much shit for her being such a youngin'. I am so glad she is okay and that she got her family (all of her family, including the Dregs) back in her life! She has a boat and she gets to go stop human trafficking (something that is really important and actually needs to be done in real life! Go to GAATW.org to find more information on how to stop this human rights violation). I think Inej is so strong in everything she does, but she still has those moments of doubt. When she goes against her "shadow" as she calls her, there are hesitations. She is only able to succeed when she gives in to all of her, both the Wraith and the Acrobat. That is something I think is really striking about her as a character. She isn't just one thing, she compartmentalizes herself, but once she comes together as a whole person, she is better for it. I think Leigh did a great job making Inej into someone to emulate toward (you know, minus the killing thing).

I'm going to write some of my favorite quotes out here, so bear with me for a bit:

"You are forsaken. As you have turned your back on me, so will they turn their backs on you." Inej, 64

"People point guns at each other all the time in Ketterdam. It's basically a handshake." Jesper, 79.

"Vile, ruthless, amoral. Isn't that why you hired Kaz in the first place? Becouse he does the things that no one else dares? Go on, Van Eck. Break my legs and see what happens. Dare him." Inej, 104

"When you were outgunned and out manned, you sought the less defended targets." Matthais, 107

"I would come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together--knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting." Kaz, 185

"Because through it all, he'd believed that he deserved his father's contempt, and now he could admit that somewhere, in some buried place, he'd hoped there might still be a way back to his father's good favor. Well, his father could keep that good favor and see what it brought him when Kaz Brekker was finished." Wylan, 223

"You aren't a flower, you're every blossom in the world blooming at once. You are a tidal wave. You're a stampede. You are overwhelming." Matthias, 233

"When Inej was on the high wire, it became her world. She could feel its tilt and pull. It was a planet and she was its moon. There was a simplicity to it that she never felt on the swings, where she was carried away by momentum. She loved the stillness she could find on the wire, and it was something no one else understood." Inej, 272

"After all she'd endured, he was the weak one. But she would never know what it was like for him to see Nina pull her close, watch Jesper loop his arm though hers, what it was to stand in doorways and against walls and know he could never draw nearer." Kaz, 364

"Wylan summoned every bit of bravado he'd learned from Nina, the will he's learned from Matthias, the focus he'd studied in Kax, the courage he'd learned from Inej, and the wild, reckless hope he learned from Jesper, the belief that no matter the odds, somehow they would win." Wylan, 427

"But just as surely as life connected everything, so did death. It was that endless, fast-running river. She'd dipped her fingers into its current, held the eddy of its power n her hand. She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown." Nina, 455

"But what about the rest of us? What about the nobodies and the nothings, the invisible girls? We learn to hold our heads as if we wear crowns. We learn to wring magic from the ordinary. That was how you survived when you weren't chosen, when there was no royal blood in your veins. When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway." Inej, 460

Overall, I freaking loved this series. I am so sad to see it go, but I was glad to be a part of it. Leigh, if you read this (which I doubt you will, but whatever) I want to thank you for your phenomenal writing in this world and I cannot wait to see what you do next!
  
Nightmares: A New Decade of Modern Horror
Nightmares: A New Decade of Modern Horror
Ellen Datlow | 2016 | Horror
6
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Also read my review here: http://bookbum.weebly.com/book-reviews/nightmares-a-new-decade-of-modern-horror-by-various-authors

NOW AVAILABLE IN THE UK!

I decided that instead of rating this book overall, it would be better to rate each individual story, so that’s what I’ve done. Obviously I had to rate the overall book so I actually calculated the average of all the ratings lol.

<b><u>Shallaballah</b></u> by Mark Samuels
<i>1 star</i>
Not a good start to the book for me. I was over the stitched up face appearance, creepy hospital, shady operations kind of horror story long ago, so this did pretty much nothing for me. Yes there were creepy elements to it but not enough. I also get what it was trying to do with the whole vanity, television thing, but it didn’t really work and so for me, added nothing to the overall plot.

<b><u>Sob in the Silence</b></u> by Gene Wolfe
<i>3 stars</i>
This was a pretty good creepy story, I much prefer stories that don't really have any paranormal elements to them and are more about the madness of the human brain. This short story had a bit of both to it so it was much preferable to the last! Didn't like the weird abrupt ending though, it felt like the story had been cut short.

<b><u>Our Turn Too Will One Day Come</b></u> by Brian Hodge
<i>4 stars</i>
This definitely had my skin crawling a bit. I love this kind of horror story that incorporates creatures and family secrets, kind of gave me The Village vibes… Is that the name of that film? Anyway, yes, great short!

<b><u>Dead Sea Fruit</b></u> by Kaaron Warren
<i>3 stars</i>
This short was pretty good, the Ash Mouth Man was pretty freaky but the writing was a bit all over the place and I felt too much was squeezed into such a small story. I'd love to read a full length story about this Ash Man, that would definitely be disturbing to read!

<b><u>Closet Dreams</b></u> by Lisa Tuttle
<i>4 stars</i>
Really well written and completely terrifying! I hate abduction stories so much because it could happen to anyone. It's not like the demonic ghost stories that you choose to believe or not believe, men who rape and steal little girls are <b>real.</b> The ending was… Predictable… Done before… Boring… But the rest of it was good enough to warrant it 4 stars!

<b><u>Spectral Evidence</b></u> by Gemma Files
<i>1 star</i>
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I didn’t like the way this was set out, very frustrating to read on a Kindle! Also, I didn’t really get it, it was so all over the place I forgot what was happening previously.

<b><u>Hushabye</b></u> by Simon Bestwick
<i>2 stars.</i>
I wanted to like this one but there was too much missing from the story, maybe it was meant to be mysterious but in my eyes it just felt unfinished. Like what was the man sucking out of the children? And what really happened to Hardiman? Also I thought the narrator was a woman until we finally learnt his name was Paul, don’t know why, I just imagined him that way.

<b><u>Very Low-Flying Aircraft</b></u> by Nicholas Royle
<i>3 stars</i>
I’m not really a big fan of war based novels / stories so from the get go I knew I wasn’t going to get on that well with this story but it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t feel like this story explained itself enough or maybe it did and I just didn’t get it? Like why did it matter that Frankie looked like Victoria and why did Flynn go to the clinic? Also, I didn’t think it of a horror story really, though it was scary and horrible, it didn’t give me the heeby-jeebys like some of the others have done.

<b><u>The Goosle</b></u> by Margo Lanagan
<i>2 stars</i>
Seriously, seriously grotesque. If you have a weak stomach, <i>avoid this.</i> A very peculiar branch off the traditional Hansel and Gretel story we all know. This isn’t my kind of horror at all. I much prefer scary, mysterious human crime and occasionally a paranormal story. Torture porn is not at all my thing. This was very well written though, so props to Lanagan for that.

<b><u>The Clay Party</b></u> by Steve Duffy
<i>4 stars</i>
Again, not exactly what I’d classify as a horror story, but a great read nonetheless. Excellently written and enjoyable the whole way through, up until the end… the ending definitely wasn’t my kind of style so that was disappointing for me personally, but I’m sure others would love it!

<b><u>Strappado</b></u> by Laird Barron
<i>3 stars</i>
Definitely one of the strangest of the shorts in this novel. I thought it was excellently written but I didn’t quite get it? Maybe I was just having an off day when I read this but it didn’t really do anything for me.

<b><u>Lonegan’s Luck</b></u> by Stephen Graham Jones
<i>4 stars</i>
This is one of those stories I don’t know why I like. I never used to be into these kinds of rural town, religious apocalyptic kind of books, but ever since reading Mammoth, I’ve begun to enjoy reading them. Admittedly this had me a little confused to begin with, there were what felt like a lot of characters, but in the end none of the mattered anyway, they were just there to set the scene.

<b><u>Mr Pigsny</b></u> by Reggie Oliver
<i>3 stars</i>
I feel like I’ve read this book a million times. It’s one of those stories that's been redone time and time again with just slight changes here and there. It isn’t a bad plot per say, I certainly enjoyed it, it just had nothing unique about it.

<b><u>At Night, When the Demons Come by</b></u> by Ray Cluley
<i>4 stars</i>
One of the longer stories in this book but also one of the best. It had a pleasing twist to it and some interesting characters. I guess I quite like the whole apocalyptic feel when it comes to stories. I personally don’t feel this one was a horror story, more like a fantasy thriller.

<b><u>Was She Wicked? Was She Good?</b></u> by Mary Rickert
<i>4 stars</i>
This was a sad horror story, but in a way, it was also quite beautiful. I really liked the plot, it was something quite different to all the others in this collection and I thought the way it was written flowed well. Enjoyable short story!

<b><u>The Shallows</b></u> by John Langan
<i>2 stars</i>
I liked how this was written but I didn’t get it? I got bored halfway through it too, it was a half an hour read and I just couldn’t understand it so I skimmed the last 10 minutes or so. Yawn.

<b><u>Little Pig</b></u> by Anna Taborska
<i>3 stars</i>
Meh. This was well written and very different to the rest of the stories in this collection but was it a horror story? No. It was tragic, but not scary. Disappointing because whenever I see the word “pig” in relation to something “scary” I think of AHS.

<b><u>Omphalos</b></u> by Livia Llewellyn
<i>3 stars</i>
<b>TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE</b>
This story was definitely very unique to the rest of the stories in this collection in the terms that this was a horror story that focused more on the real life horrors of families rather than made up monsters and ghouls. This story isn’t for the faint-hearted, it was horrific and gruesome and very upsetting. It wasn’t the best story in the collection when it came to plot or writing style, but it did bring out strong emotions in me, which other stories have been unable to do.

<b><u>How We Escaped Our Certain Fate</b></u> by Dan Chaon
<i>5 stars</i>
I liked how this was a different take on a classic zombie story - <b><i>”It wasn’t the end of the world… of course, a bite would infect you, but they weren’t terribly aggressive, in general.”</b></i> This was by far my favourite story in the entire book, it was so sad and emotional. It was beautiful.

<b><u>That Tiny Flutter of the Heart I Used to Call Love</b></u> by Robert Shearman
<i>4 stars</i>
Creepy, creepy, creepy. Dolls terrify me thanks to modern horror, although, really, I’ve always felt unsettled by them. Enjoyable story though. Poor Julian.
(This story almost had my name in it! “Suki” is close enough to Zuky.)

<b><u>Interstate Love Song (Murder Ballad No.8)</b></u> by Caitlin R. Kiernan
<i>3 stars</i>
Hmm, why did the shorts at the end of this book get all meaningful and loved up? I think that kinda ruined this for me. Granted it was disturbed and pretty grotesque at times but sadness of the ending ruined that creepy effect of the book and just left this kind of hanging in the space between horror and tragedy.

<b><u>Shay Corsham Worsted</b></u> by Garth Nix
<i>4 stars</i>
This was an interesting story and I liked our harsh but caring main character, Sir David. I wish this story was a little longer so we could find out more about Shay because I feel the missing backstory left this plot wide open. Enjoyable nonetheless.

<b><u>The Atlas of Hell</b></u> by Nathan Ballingrud
<i>3 stars</i>
I really enjoyed this to begin with though I thought it had a little David Wong influence, a writing style I’m not into. All was going well for this story until I got towards the end of it, where it completely lost me. Whether this is down to the annoying man sat on the train next to me, speaking into his phone at 32596 decibels, or just because the plot went AWOL, we’ll never know.

<b><u>Ambitious Boys Like You</b></u> by Richard Kadrey
<i>4 stars</i>
I like these kinds of creepy stories! They’re not particularly unique anymore, because they’ve been done so many different times in so many different, but similar ways, but they’re still fun to read. The old man was especially disturbing just because he was so witty and chilled out. I liked that this story had elements of humour to it, it made a nice change to the more recent emotion filled stories.

I’d like to thank Netgalley and Tachyon Publications for giving me the opportunity to read this in an exchange for an honest review.