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Spencer (2021)
Spencer (2021)
2021 |
Diana hits rock bottom… as does the script.
Discordant strings sound as the royal party arrives at Sandringham for Christmas. “Is she here yet” intones the Queen. “No ma’am” her major domo replies. “Then she’s late”. Cut to a soulful choral version of “Perfect Day” as Diana Princess of Wales (née Spencer) arrives via a dramatic aerial shot. Hugs go to her sons William and Harry before she unhappily stalks through the corridors like a hunted animal.

This is the second movie in a row that I’ve intro’d via a positive emotional response to a great trailer. In the last case – for “Last Night in Soho” – the movie more than lived up to my high expectations from the trailer. But here – oh dear! It comes to something where the very best thing about the film is the trailer.

For, unfortunately for me, this came across as pretentious, vaguely insulting and with a dreadful script.

Plot Summary:
It’s Christmas 1991 at the Sandringham estate. Diana (Kristen Stewart) is the black sheep of the royal family, flouting tradition and always late for every formal event. She sees conspiracies at every turn, suspecting the household coordinator Major Gregory (Timothy Spall) of plotting against her. Her only allies that she can talk to are head chef Darren (Sean Harris) and her dresser Maggie (Sally Hawkins).

Mentally unstable, bulimic and self-harming, Diana must survive a tumultuous three days without destroying the Christmas spirit for her two sons and irreparably damaging her relationship with the wider royal family.

Certification:
US: R. UK: 12A.

Talent:
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Timothy Spall, Sally Hawkins, Jack Farthing, Sean Harris.

Directed by: Pablo Larraín.

Written by: Steven Knight.

“Spencer” Review: Positives:
Kristen Stewart does a simply fabulous job of impersonating Diana. She’s clearly studied a lot of video of the lady in getting to mimic the way she looks, walks and dances. Although I didn’t rate the film, the performance is a cut-above.
It’s an ironic touch that in all of her driving scenes, Diana never wears a seat-belt.

Negatives:
Oh man, Steven Knight’s dialogue here I found to be simply atrocious. Head-in-the-hands bad. I decided about half way through this monstrosity that “The Room” had had its day as a cult student classic, and that “Spencer” should take over in that role.
These things evolve organically over time, but I came up with the following basic rules for a student showing:
Every time Kristen Stewart does a ‘simp’ look to camera, down a shot;
When Darren utters the line “What are you going to do with wirecutters?” the audience yells as one “CUT WIRE!” **;
When Diana intones “Beauty is useless. Beauty is clothing”** the audience should strip to their underwear;
Every time a member of the hunt shouts “PULL!” you throw a stuffed pheasant in the air. Otherwise you keep the stuffed pheasant next to you, and engage in studious conversation with it as the film progresses;
Whenever Anne Boleyn appears, shout “OFF WITH HER HEAD”;
When a character says to Diana “I love you. And yes, in that way”**, the audience must shout “Aye aye” and every female audience member needs to passionately kiss another female audience member; and finally…
When Diana says “Leave Me. I want to masturbate”**, the audience throws dildos at the screen.
** I’d really like to pretend that I made these lines up. They might be paraphrased a bit, but honestly, that’s the gist!
Oh yes. It’s a sure-fire student classic of the future. You read it here first folks! I can see the filmmakers lauding me with praise for turning their movie into a post-release sleeper hit. “WHAT A CULT” they shout at me. “WHAT A CULT”!
The rest of the cast do a good enough job with what they have, but have the general vibe of being embarrassed to deliver the dialogue they’ve been given. Sean Harris – a fine actor – inexplicably spouts Shakespeare like Christopher Plummer in “Star Trek VI”! And one can only assume that Timothy Spall was given direction to act as if he had a whole lemon stuck inside his mouth for the whole movie.
I’ve been a fan of Jonny Greenwood’s music in other movies like “Phantom Thread“. I’ve seen Mark Kermode describe this soundtrack as “fantastic”. But, for me, the intrusive atonal strings and laid-back jazz vibe just didn’t work for me at all.


Summary Thoughts on “Spencer”
As you can probably tell, I hated this one. And the illustrious Mrs Movie Man 100% agrees with me in this assessment. The trailer promised a lot, but the movie delivered very little for me. It just all felt to me like an affront to the memory of Diana. Making a highly fictitious “fable based on a real life tragedy” just feels wrong. This seems particularly the case when the Queen, Prince Charles and (particularly) William and Harry are alive to watch it. What must they think if and when they get to view this?

I was a big fan of Larrain’s 2017 biopic on Jackie Kennedy – “Jackie” – which really covered the very similar ground, of a lady in the focus of publicity struggling with mental illness. But at least that had the benefit of historical distance.

I seem to be swimming against the critical tide here, since the movie currently has an IMDB rating of 7.4/10. But frankly, for me, I thought the recent series of “The Crown” did this so much better.
  
Cold Moon (2017)
Cold Moon (2017)
2017 |
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
At first glance this looks like most other by the numbers Horror/Thriller movies with a cast of people you will recognize straight away but take a while to place where from. However give it a minute because this movie has some really stellar performances from the core cast which considering the concept is just bonkers enough to take you out of it completely, I find this to be nothing short of incredible.

THE BLURB:

In a sleepy southern town, the Larkin family suffers a terrible tragedy. Now the Larkin’s are about to endure another: Traffic lights blink an eerie warning, a ghostly visage prowls in the streets, and graves erupt from the local cemetery in an implacable march of terror . . . And beneath the murky surface of the river, a shifting, almost human shape slowly takes form to seek a terrible vengeance.

I found this movie to be way more Thriller than Horror, sure there are some solid as hell jump scares but one of the defining points in a Horror is that we don’t find out who the man in the mask is till the last quarter of the movie. In Cold Moon we know who the killer is early on and the film interestingly begins to focus on the rapid decline of our killers mind. Being haunted by the eerie ghosts of his victims, leading him to drink heavily, become careless and basically begin to lose his shit… Well that is where this movie cuts its teeth and showcases not only what our core cast can do but how effortlessly our Director/Writer can craft his tale.

 

Griff Furst has crafted a pretty eerie, Good looking, Atmospheric and Clever movie from the original novel written by the late Michael McDowell, author of Beetlejuice and The Nightmare Before Christmas. Not only that but he managed to perfectly cast his roles from top to bottom **In my eyes, of course**. So lets touch on a couple of those people you know but may not place.

Josh Stewart from mostly everything, most notably for me he was Bane’s main henchmen in Dark Knight Rises. He is great in this flick, given a real chance to show us his range and I was pleased to see more of him. Frank Whaley from almost everything ever and he is fantastic in this. Up and Coming Robbie Kay from Tv show Once Upon A Time puts in a pretty strong performance. Ladies and Gentlemen we are even treated to some Christopher Lloyd, Doc Brown-ing all over the place.

Oh crap I almost forgot we are given a Tommy Wiseau cameo that is a real treat… Listen closely for his one line “He’s tearing him Apart”. Awww man now I wanna watch the room.

I recommend the hell out of this movie, is it amazing?? Not really… But its good fun, pretty clever, great performances and entertaining as hell. So a definite recommend.
  
The Collection (2012)
The Collection (2012)
2012 | Action, Horror, Mystery
6
7.0 (9 Ratings)
Movie Rating
From the creative yet somewhat disturbed minds of Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton (Saw IV, V VI and 3D). The Collection is a suspense horror that will keep you guessing and on the edge of your seats. The film is based on an insane masked killer who “collects” bodies after his victims undergo a series of macabre torture and death. Staring Josh Stewart (The Dark Knight Rises) who portrays a man named Arkin who has been tortured himself. Arkin is forced to help find Elena who is portrayed by Emma Fitzpatrick (The Social Network) who decided to attend an underground rave with her friends and was the only one who survived a brutal bloody massacre on the entire club. Christopher McDonald (“Boardwalk Empire”) is Elena’s father and is extremely wealthy and hires a team to help locate Elena and bring down this masked crazed killer. Arkin is forced to help the team by going back to the very place he had once escaped to help find Elena. The team is lead into a maze of disturbing rooms and halls booby-trapped with all sorts of insane killing machines. Will Elena and the team be able to return safely to their families?

Fans of the Saw films will find that The Collection is a spitting image of its sister movie with the same gruesome killer and horrific killing machines. Granted that the ideas may be similar the stories are quite different and executed very well. The film is very bloody yet heroic at the same time and though some scenes and dialog proved to be quite ridiculous as generated by the audience’s laughter, in the end was somewhat of an entertaining thrill ride. The film is not your run of the mill slasher film where the killer is after a young group of kids who are being chased in a forest out in the middle of nowhere. The victims in this film are all types of people who are wanted for the killers collection of gruesome horrors.

You do not need to see the previous film in the series “The Collector” to enjoy this film but the background knowledge does help with the mythos of the character.

Though the film is somewhat entertaining with all its gruesomeness, I seem to be more of a fan of the Saw franchise. Even with the same sort of plot of mice all headed for the cheese just with a bunch of death traps in the way. It just seemed as though there wasn’t really a back story and it did not expand upon the previous film that much. Granted one really is not needed it may have helped with the flow of the film. The Collection is recommended but is not a must see film and does not add to the excitement of movies to come in the coming years.