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Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)
Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)
2018 | Comedy, Horror
I can sum this film up in one easy way: it's Shaun Of The Dead meets Attack The Block meets St Trinians, but nowhere near as good as that film combo should be.

To say I'm a little bit heartbroken about this would be an understatement. This was one of my top picks from the autumn cinema offerings and now I'm just sad that it made the cut.

"Slaughterhouse Rulez looks like St Trinians, mixed with the aliens from Attack The Block meets the hellmouth from Sunnydale... and what's not to love about that?!" - quote from me in pre-release excitement.

Evidently, everything.

The general premise of the story seemed like a good one, and the trio of top acting talent felt like it would carry the film even if the story turned out to be flimsy. Here's my problem, I didn't enjoy any of their characters. I didn't find The Bat or Meredith Houseman likeable, even as comic relief, and while Woody Chapman was probably the best of the three I still found him annoying.

By far the best characters were brought to life by the younger cast members. Don and Willoughby have a great dynamic throughout and along with the interactions as a group when they join up with the girls to investigate they saved this from being a complete flop for me.

I take very rough notes in the screenings while I'm watching. It's generally me vaguely pointing a pen at the page and scribbling key words down. I think that my favourite during this one was "imitation Draco".

What I did notice from my scribblings is that I made more than one note about Shaun Of The Dead. Someone gets tooled up with a cricket bat, there's a very familiar moment with the car, and at one point I'm reminded of Dylan Moran being dragged through the pub window. Oh, and he gets the group together and heads out to the cadet range.

I said at the beginning that it's like Shaun Of The Dead meets Attack The Block meets St Trinians, I'm afraid that my suggestion would be to watch those instead. The sad thing is that I think I probably would have enjoyed it more if the big three hadn't been in it. Anticipation can be a bitch sometimes.

What you should do

I think this one is better viewed at home with some friends, probably with a drinking game.
  
Downton Abbey (2019)
Downton Abbey (2019)
2019 | Drama, History
The King and Queen, His Royal Highness, King George V and Queen Mary are visiting Downton Abbey! This is the premise set for the grand cinematic conclusion of the very popular BBC/PBS series that has told the saga of the Crawley family.

Robert Crawley, the Earl of Grantham (Hugh Bonneville) will host the King and Queen for one night as they tour the country. This starts the frenzy of preparation at Downton Abbey. The entire cast from the television series returns to wrap up the epic tale of the family led by the Dowager Countess of Grantham (Dame Maggie Smith as the stoic, protective and acid tongued head of the Crawley Family). We get to view the intrigue and subterfuge that has been built upon the ages as the players in the game, maneuver their way through the challenges of royal protocol.

The daily run of Downton has been passed down to Lady Mary Talbot (Michelle Dockery), who now needs to insure that the house is in order and passes the inspection of the Royal Servants of the King. The kitchen is all a twitter with plans and preparation for shopping and meals. Come to find that the King and Queen has their own travelling butler and ladies maid that arrive beforehand to establish the household in order to provide the crown with the comforts that they are accustomed.
This film has been eagerly anticipated since the last season had aired. Fans all around the world have been waiting for this to wrap up the loose ends from the closing season of the television series. The film does exactly that. Taking each thread and weaving a complete conclusion of the stories that compelled millions around the world to stay tuned.

For those who have not seen the series but are wrangled to watch the movie, you will find the charm, elegance, humour and wit applied to the story. One is not required to have watched any, if all of the episodes of Downton in order to enjoy the storyline. The film is perfectly entertaining as a standalone film. Each character so well crafted and beautifully acted by the ensemble.

I recommend taking your favorite Downton fan to the cinema for an evening of grand proportions, romantic notions, charm and the glamour of 1927 England. Thoroughly enjoyable with or without previous show knowledge.
5 out of 5 for fans
4 out of 5 for non fans
  
    Secret Files: Sam Peters

    Secret Files: Sam Peters

    Games and Entertainment

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    [ The acclaimed point and click adventure Secret Files Sam Peters has now found its way back onto...

    Smiles by Etisalat

    Smiles by Etisalat

    Lifestyle and Shopping

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    Smiles by Etisalat brings to you lots of deals and rewards.   Download the 'Smiles' App now and...

Halloween (1978)
Halloween (1978)
1978 | Horror
What is there to say about Halloween that hasn't already been said? Not quite the first slasher, but arguably the film to throw this particular sub genre and all its tropes into the spotlight, and it's pretty much the perfect horror.

Halloween is iconic in several ways. A big part of that is it's characters. Laurie Strode is considered by many to be the quintessential scream queen/final girl and that is completely down to Jamie Lee Curtis. Her character is down to earth and relatable, realistic but shows resolve by the time the credits role. This has resulted in her return many times throughout the franchise and is still beloved now.
Donald Pleasance as Dr Loomis is another main stay of the franchise. His character arc is more tempestuous than Laurie's and as a result is less impactful overall, but is an important part nonetheless, especially in the original.
But what would Halloween be if it wasn't for Michael Myers, and indisputable behemoth of horror. His first outing is easily his best, with just enough back story to intrigue, and a quiet determination in the way he mercilessly and calmly stalks his victims. His souless, white mask (a mask infamously modelled after William Shatner) and dark jumpsuit is a simple yet effective aesthetic.

Some of the shots in Halloween are genuinely chilling - they got me when I was a kid, and they still get me now. One shot that always sticks in my head is when Laurie clocks Michael a little way down the street staring at her from behind a bush in broad daylight. The whole film is creepy, something that has seldom been imitated in the huge number of Slashers that followed in its wake.

This is all topped off by the instantly recognisable music score, composed by director John Carpenter (the talented bastard). I'm an unashamed Carpenter fan, and my love for his work started right here, as it did for many others.

Halloween is a film that is rightly still talked about today. It will never fade away, and it's simply down to how good it is, even all these years later. It's a must see piece of cinema, and it stands shoulder to shoulder with The Thing as my personal favourite horror of all time.
  
    F18 Carrier Landing Lite

    F18 Carrier Landing Lite

    Games and Entertainment

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    The most advanced Flight Simulator and Aircraft Carrier Landing System ever created. Landing on an...

The Meg (2018)
The Meg (2018)
2018 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Jurassic Shark
Ah the shark attack movie. A genre that has over the years changed itself from impactful horror suspense thriller to cheesy, throwaway popcorn entertainment. Apart from when Steven Spielberg changed cinema forever with his 1975 masterpiece, Jaws, audiences have been given few treats in the decades that followed.

Deep Blue Sea was a tasteful homage to its forbearer, but even that was riddled in cliché and was much more of a brain-numbing creature feature than Jaws was. And then came Sharknado and its raft of dreadfully titled sequels. Look back through cinema history and you’ll see that sharks are big business in Hollywood.

Now, as we enter the final stages of 2018, Jason Statham stars in perhaps the most preposterous shark movie yet, yes, even more preposterous than Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! But sometimes preposterous can be fun. Is that the case here?

A massive creature attacks a deep-sea submersible, leaving it disabled and trapping the crew at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. With time running out, rescue diver Jonas Taylor (Statham) must save the crew and the ocean itself from an unimaginable threat – a 75-foot-long prehistoric shark known as the Megalodon.

Jon Turteltaub, who directed delicacies like National Treasure and Cool Runnings takes to The Meg like, well a duck to water. It’s filled with tantalising action sequences and Jason Statham spouting marine biology jargon including a scene in which the Hollywood star is shirtless whilst spouting marine biology jargon. What more could you want?

Quite a bit as it happens. Despite a solid opening act that sets up the dark humour of the film nicely, The Meg is a bit of a bore. Populated by bland characters, uninspiring CGI and plot holes so big they’d make the Marianas trench blush. It’s all a bit of a mess to be honest.

The Meg is one of a new breed of Hollywood blockbusters that has been made to pander to the new Chinese audience and while this has worked well for other high-budget movies like Pacific Rim, it doesn’t work quite as well here. Li Bingbing stars as marine biologist Suyin Zhang and whilst she performs well in her native tongue, her English-spoken scenes are stilted and lack any depth of emotion whatsoever.

In fact, outside of Statham, the rest of the cast are complete non-entities. Rainn Wilson provides some comic relief as a financial investor, but it’s all very B-movie and clearly not in the way it was intended. You see, when you know you have a ridiculous premise, the best thing to do is run with it and create the most insanely bizarre film in existence. Unfortunately, The Meg takes itself far too seriously and this makes it feel much longer than its running time would suggest. They could’ve gotten away with calling it ‘Jason Statham Shark Movie’ as that’ pretty much the premise in a nutshell.

It’s occasionally fun and could have been smashing fun, but in reality, it’s a bit of a damp squib
At a cost just shy of $200million, you’d expect to have Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom levels of special effects. They actually cost around the same to produce. In truth, The Meg can’t hold a candle to its land-based prehistoric cousin. The CGI is passable at best and really dreadful at worst and this is a real shame. When the main selling point of your film is a 75-foot shark, you really need to get it spot on.

Besides a couple of cool shots, one of which is the featured image for this particular review (see the image at the top of the header banner), the cinematography is absolutely uninspired.

When you have a film that features so much ocean, there are a multitude of amazing things you could achieve with the shot choices. Unfortunately, none of them have been realised here.

Elsewhere, there is something a little more sinister afoot. Sharks already get a seriously bad reputation and this film does nothing to quash that. With many species now unfortunately endangered, films like The Meg could do more harm than good. It portrays all sharks as merciless killers – proficient and deadly. If it did want to be a serious shark attack flick, it should have relied less on goofy comedy and more on raising awareness for the creatures.

We’ve now had three ‘creature feature’ films thus far into 2018. Starting with Rampage earlier in the year, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom in June and now The Meg, and whilst each of them brings something unique to the table, The Meg sinks to the bottom of the seafloor. It’s occasionally fun and could have been smashing fun, but in reality, it’s a bit of a damp squib. The Meg is a shark movie without any bite.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2018/08/11/the-meg-review-jurassic-shark/
  
Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)
Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)
2018 | Action, Adventure, Thriller
Real action (3 more)
Real stunts
Fantastically scored
Beautiful locations and cinematography
Pay the admission, accept this mission!
(Review from www.thechairport.com)When the Mission Impossible film franchise started it had a slightly rocky start. After a great first film, the second film fell short of the mark. Watching those first two films now you can see how different they are to the Mission we know now. Ever since the second Mission film, ever since JJ Abrams and the Bad Robot team took over, the Mission franchise has been ageing like a fine wine. Actually, it’s been ageing like Tom Cruise. Fallout, the sixth film in the Mission franchise is the best yet and easily one of the best action films of all time and it’s all thanks to its real action.

Mission Impossible: Fallout follows Ethan Hunt as he and his crew lose some plutonium they are trying to recover. The bad guys trying to use the plutonium are The Apostles, a spin-off group from Rogue Nation’s Syndicate. This time the IMF team are joined by a ruthless CIA agent, Walker played by Henry Cavill, who is there to ensure that the team retrieve the plutonium. The bad guys this time around, The Apostles, follow Solomon Lane’s thinking that to get peace the world must first experience a great suffering. With that line ringing throughout the IMF’s ears, the team is off on a race against time to stop The Apostles.

Fallout is filled with action and as far as action movies come, this film really takes the cake. Tom Cruise is just the man that everyone wants to be, as in he really seems like he can do anything. In the current state of cinema any other filmmaking team would’ve made this film with CGI effects all over yet Cruise and Fallout’s director, Christopher McQuarrie, have decided to do everything for real and it’s that element alone that makes the film.

There are moments in Fallout where you just sit there astonished by what you’re seeing happen in front of you. You feel shivers and the need to applause at the opening ten minutes of the film, your eye’s dash across the screen as you’re watching Cruise’s Ethan Hunt race through oncoming traffic in Paris and you’ll find yourself simply flabbergasted as you watch Cruise do anything at all in the helicopter sequence that you’ve definitely already heard about.

Mission Impossible: Fallout isn’t just simply an insane action blockbuster, it is more than that. Every actor on the screen knows that what they’re in is going to be something revolutionary for cinema and every actor really pulls their weight. Simon Pegg’s comedy is on point, Alec Baldwin’s acting as someone in charge is as good as ever, Henry Cavill being absolutely brutal is scary and cool at the same time. Fallout also has a good amount of female characters in it with Rebecca Ferguson and Michelle Monaghan bringing a lot of well-needed emotion and Vanessa Kirby’s Black Widow bringing a funny yet creepy vibe to the whole occasion.

The story is fairly simple as McQuarrie doesn’t want to isolate the audience, you can definitely see it if you haven’t seen other Mission Films. It’s McQuarrie and his team’s filmmaking that really make the film what it is. The cameraman who does the HALO jump with Tom Cruise deserves many awards and I would be surprised if the film, and its team, didn’t win any awards for filmmaking. If you’ve got free time too then look up how the film was made because it is quite interesting. I mean it’s rare that an action blockbuster would even be nominated but as of right now Fallout is my favourite film of the year, both for how good it is and then researching how it was made. People just don’t put in as much effort as the Mission team have done in films anymore.

Mission Impossible: Fallout is a must-see film. It’s a long film but never really feels like it. It’s a constant chase that will keep you on the edge of your seat and it has twists and turns that you won’t see coming. I was recently reading about how Christopher Nolan wanted The Dark Knight to bring back film instead of everyone filming digitally. Fallout sings a similar message and but its message is for real-life stunts. Mquarrie has evolved in a similar manner to how Nolan evolved between Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. Fallout gave me similar vibes of excitement and intensity and Fallout will leave its mark on you, I’m not sure how I’ll feel watching CGI action from now on. All I know is that making everything real instead of fake isn’t impossible but to repeat the magic that Fallout has, well that’s only something the Mission team can do. Mission accomplished Cruise, mission accomplished.

Score: 5/5