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LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated If I Stay (2014) in Movies

Sep 21, 2020

If I Stay (2014)

2014 | Drama

7.1

(8 Ratings)

Movie Rating

Gross. My undying love for these disgustingly quirky YA slops renders me unable to rate this the easy one star it most definitely deserves - but make no mistake, this is the worst one since... maybe 𝘔𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶? The type of movie that does everything wrong: sterile visually, stagnant structurally, humdrum narratively, and it doesn't help that Stacy Keach (so wonderful here) is the only one in the entire movie giving a good performance - watching the normally capable Moretz attempt to emote in this is downright hysterical, that supposedly emotional hallway screaming scene had me *cackling*. Also I'd be willing to put serious money down against anyone who can find a film with worse dialogue. "Guys play music for two reasons: to get laid, and because they got rage" is an actual piece of speech uttered in this. Much of the hilarious cringe (see: the aforementioned awful dialogue) and endearing oversentimentality I find a warm familiarity with in this genre is intact, but the sickening fetishization of death and child abuse (cardboard cutout love interest: "My parents were never there... everyone leaves me...", what the movie wants us to be like: "W O W … he's so deep and profound 😍😍") in this make it feel closer to some sick exploitation piece that also isn't good. Even if that weren't the case, this relationship and its characters are lifeless even before the death plot hits and the guy is a faceless asshole that the Moretz character is just expected to bend to the whim of - and his band is fucking *horrible*. Speaking of which, funny how cultured this thinks it is because it never shuts up about punk and classical music even though it doesn't have a precious clue about either. Should have been a slam dunk, don't know why they decided to play it so indifferently. Written by that outcast from your high school who growled at people and drew Harry Potter porn at lunch.