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Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)
2005 | Comedy
7
5.8 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Europe. The very name brings up images of rich traditions, centuries-old stunning architecture, fine cuisine, historic artwork, and of course culture and sophistication. Europe has endured wars, plagues, and hordes of unruly soccer fans and has remained intact. Perhaps its greatest challenge is about to arrive in the form of Deuce Bigalow, pool cleaner, fish lover, and male Gigolo.

Rob Schneider returns as Deuce, who has given up his man-whoring ways and married the girl of his dreams. As the film opens, we learn that Deuce was widowed on his honeymoon and has carried a torch for his departed wife for years. The fact that the torch in question is actually her artificial limb is a creepy sentiment that further isolates Deuce from those around him.

After a day at the beach goes horribly wrong, Deuce happily accepts an invitation from his friend T.J. (Eddie Griffin), and travels to Amsterdam for some time away. With the artificial limb in tow, Deuce arrives and learns that a mysterious killer has been dispatching Europe’s top gigolos and before you can say “space cake” T.J. is implicated in the murders and on the run, forcing Deuce to go back to his man-whoring in an effort to learn who is behind the killings.

Since Deuce witnessed the aftermath of a recent killing, he is convinced that the killer is a woman and that only by dating those clients of the recently departed can he find the proof needed to free T.J.

Of course Deuce doesn’t get the cream of society. His clients are a mixed bag that makes his Janes from the first film seem normal. There is the lady with the gaping hole in her throat, a lady whose ears put Dumbo’s to shame, a giant with an infant fetish, and a woman with a male sex organ for a nose.

It is against this backdrop that Deuce meets Eva (Hanna Verboom), an artist with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and the daughter of the police inspector

investigating the case. Deuce is taken with the charming Eva which leads to even more conflict for the widowed Deuce.

As if his life could not get any worse, Deuce is at odds with the European Society of Man Pimps who constantly go out of their way to taunt Deuce and his inclusion in their profession.

Over the next 90 minutes a constant barrage of crude jokes ensues ranging from the gross to the juvenile. Yet despite the ongoing crude and sophomoric humor, I found myself laughing as did the majority of the audience at my screening.

While I can see how many critics will not like this film due to a very basic story, thin characters and crudeness, the film works very well as a mindless comedy.

The characters are not expanded from their roles in the original and do not need to be. We know that Deuce is an easy going loser with a heart of gold and that is all we need to know.

Schneider and Griffin work well with one another and the constant euphemisms such as Mangina, He-Hoe and Hegina flow often only to be followed by new and even more creative phrases.

If you are a fan of the original and do not get offended easily than this is going to be your film. It isn’t trying to break new ground, it is trying to make you laugh, and for this critic, despite the films flaws, I laughed constantly throughout, and in many cases harder than I have at any film in recent years.
  
The Rest of The Story
The Rest of The Story
Sarah Dessen | 2019 | Young Adult (YA)
8
7.7 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
Emma Saylor's mom, Waverly, died when Emma was 10 after a troubled history with drugs and alcohol. Now it's just Emma and her dad. Life is safe and comfortable, and Emma likes it that way. But now Emma's dad is getting remarried, and Emma needs a place to stay this summer. So she suddenly finds herself shipped off to stay with her mother's family--whom she hasn't seen since she was a kid. They live at North Lake, where her mom grew up, and now Emma gets to meet (well re-meet) her grandmother, aunt, and a whole host of cousins she doesn't even remember. She also sees the divisions between working class North Lake and adjacent Lake North, where her dad spent his summers. As Emma spends more time in North Lake, she feels divided as well. In North Lake, she becomes Saylor--what her mom always called her. She has her cousins and she meets Roo, who was her friend when she was little. He and his late dad have a deep history with her mom. But in wealthier Lake North--and with her dad--she's rigid, predictable Emma. Who is she really? And which side will win out at the end of the summer?

This was just a good, refreshing read, you know? I found it to be touching and poignant. Emma is a likeable character and the oft told tale of a kid finding her way doesn't seem stale in Dessen's hands. The supporting cast is great--I loved Emma's cousins, and Emma and Roo are so great. There's wit and humor infused throughout this book. Scenes with an ice cream truck, for instance, will stick with you! It's so nice to read a book about meaningful family dynamics and relationships (especially one where the families aren't murdering each other, which is often my genre of choice, ha).


"The past was always present, in its way, and you can't help but remember. Even if you can't remember at all."


What I enjoyed about this one is that you just find yourself smiling as you read. Dessen is a wonderful writer--I don't think that comes as a surprise to anyone--and Emma and the other characters come alive from the pages. Emma has a lot to deal with: her late mom, meeting what is basically a new family, and the usual teen "stuff," but there's still plenty of fun here too. Her grandmother runs a motel by the lake, and there's never a dull moment. But, Dessen also deals with the serious moments with a touching grace. There are some good messages about family, as well as class and status. It's wonderful watching Emma learn more about her past--and herself--as she gets to know her mom's family and forge new friendships.


"But all my life I'd felt more like an observer than an active participant. Beside the wheel, not behind. It was safer there, but could be lonely too, or so I was now realizing."


Overall, this is just a lovely read. It's funny, sweet, and will make you smile. Emma is a great character, and it's impossible not to get caught up in her journey. Plus, with the lake setting, it's a perfect summer read! 4+ stars.
  
Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)
2015 | Action, Sci-Fi
Hulk Continues to Smash...and I'm Here For All of it
When an artificial intelligence outthinks its creator and forms itself into dozens of destructive robots, Earth's mightiest heroes come together once again to put a stop to the threat.

Acting: 10

Beginning: 10
As most MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) films tend to do, Avengers: Age of Ultron gets off to a really quick start wasting no time with action. Everyone gets a piece in the first ten minutes and they're working even better together than they did in the first film. While Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) and Thor (Chris Hemsworth) flex their muscle and rip tanks in half, Hawkeye Jeremy Renner) pierces through dudes like the modern-day Legolas.

Characters: 10
A part of what works so well for these characters is how grossly different their backstories and personalities are. Hawkeye is a family man that uses humor to mask his annoyance in certain situations. Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is constantly pushing the boundary envelope and acts superior to the ideas and thoughts of the rest of the group. Normally you hate a guy like this but he wears the hat so well. Throw in Vision, a benevolent AI with a sense of purpose, and the rest of the crew and you have a pretty solid character-base.

AI of the hour Ultron (James Spader) is a villain with a surprising amount of depth. He fights for his own cause which, in his mind, is the only necessary option for balance and preservation. His smooth, even-keeled voice can be chilling at times making for some pretty solid scenes.

Cinematography/Visuals: 10

Conflict: 10
There is enough action in the film for two films. The plot steamrolls into new scenes of combat, one after the next. Dull moments are nonexistent. There is something about having all of these characters on the screen at the same time that keeps the film exciting and fresh. Teamups are especially cool, watching pairs like Captain America (Chris Evans) and Thor perform unique combo moves. You want eye candy? The film delivers.

Genre: 8
Not the best superhero film I've seen, although I believe that says more about the emergence of the genre than the film itself. This century has ushered in some phenomenal superhero movies that do the genre proud, including ones that set themselves apart by having enriched characters and deeper meaning. Age of Ultron is solid, but falls just slightly out of the Cream of the Crop territory.

Memorability: 9
The action sequences alone played throughout my mind well after having watched the film. Among other things, Age of Ultron gives you a falling city along with a classic matchup between Hulk and Stark in the Hulkbuster suit. Perhaps the most memorable part came at the very end when Ultron and Vision are having a conversation about the fate of humanity. Part foreshadowing, part introspection, it was a very fitting way to bring the curtain down on the action.

Pace: 10

Plot: 9

Resolution: 8

Overall: 94
No, it's not the best MCU film made to date, but it's still a high-quality film with a solid story and memorable sequences that keep you glued to your seat. Thankful for the rewatch as I enjoyed it even more the second time around.
  
The Darkest Universe (2016)
The Darkest Universe (2016)
2016 | International, Comedy, Drama
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Talk about a movie where you just don’t know where to start with!! Co-Directors (Yes Co) Tom Kingsley and Will Sharpe have crafted what I can only describe as my favorite completely surreal yet right down to earth drama I have watched in 2016… Wait no… In years.

As I have said recently I am on a real Indie hidden gem kick right now and the ever amazing Phil Wheat of Nerdly.co.uk asked me to check this movie out suspecting that it would be right up my street. The Darkest Universe is an absolute gem of a movie for more reasons than I can explain, but I will try.

Co-Director and Co-Writer Will Sharpe plays highly strung and highly stressed Zac Pratt. We join Zac on the verge of a complete breakdown following the disappearance of his sister and Break-up with his girlfriend. We follow him on somewhat of a journey of self realization and discovery. Zac starts up a fledging blog making video diaries of his search for his sister due to his frustration with the police coming up short. During this time we have a wonderfully interwoven series of flashbacks showing us what happened and giving us breadcrumbs of information.

A movie like this can live or die in the intricate plot woven style and this one flourishes because there is not one unnecessary moment on screen, it all matters. We find that Zac’s relationship with his girlfriend Eva (Sophia Di Martino, Channel 4s Flowers and Casualty) is strained and fragile which leads to a wonderfully awkward marriage proposal failure. While Zac would like us to believe from the get go that his sister Alice (Tiani Ghosh Co-Writer and first time acting, You couldn’t tell) is unhinged we slowly find she is probably the sanest person in his life, as she meets mis-fit wanderer Toby (Joe Thomas Inbetweeners and Fresh Meat). The relationship between Toby and Alice is almost as captivating as Sharpe’s all round performance and is just such a delicious watch.

Okay lets just get to it Will Sharpe in this movie is bloody outstanding. Think about Ezra Miller in We Need to Talk about Kevin, that is how intense this role can get, but he can also switch-up and be this charming at times funny sincere chap. There were moments I just didn’t know where it was gonna go and his performance was layered as such. Of course the script helps aswell because its to the point, at 90 minutes long the movie gets in, messes with your head a bit and gets out. Also no spoilers from me but this movie is never what you think it is and the ending is just a thing of beauty.

I take nothing away from anyone else in this movie because for her first time acting Tiani Ghosh is well above par and her chemistry with Joe Thomas is undeniable. On that note Joe Thomas of Inbetweeners fame was a surprising delight for me in this. A cheeky little cameo from fellow Inbetweener Simon Bird was received well and rounding off our cream of Brit comedy crop Chris Langham (The Thick of It) does not disappoint as Toby’s dad.

I really don’t think you will disappointed if you give this movie a shot, it has all the ingredients of what I would call an indie classic, people will find this movie and talk about it for years to come. Sharpe and Kingsley are a directing duo you have got to keep an eye on. I myself am pissed I never saw there first effort (did I mention this is just there second directorial outing) Black Pond but I will rectify that. They are miles ahead of there Ages and show a level of film-making maturity that most directors will struggle to get to. Effortless and beautiful I am so glad I will be ending 2016 with this movie.
  
Home Alone (1990)
Home Alone (1990)
1990 | Comedy, Family
It's not Christmas until Kevin says "I've made my family disappear." In fact, it's probably one of the few that I actively watch every year, and it's one of two that I'll happily watch at any time of the year. (The other being Die Hard... don't get on my case, you know it's a Christmas film.)

On December 7th Home Alone turned 28 in the UK. 1990... just wow. I'm feeling old enough without films I grew up with being called classics.

If you haven't considered your own Home Alone plan... well, what have you been doing with your life?! As a tip, if you already have a zombie apocalypse plan in place then it's very easily adapted, you just need a little less lethal force. And it's probably best for me to remind you not to actually try this at home, because I'm not convinced that Harry and Marv would have survived. (And if we take the results from Better Watch Out then you're probably looking at some kind of murder charge.)

In December they were showing Home Alone a few times at Cineworld so it would have been rude not to go at least once to see it. I'm really getting into the classic releases on the big screen, it's so much fun. The show I picked was basically populated by adults, just two children brought along by their parents. We were all roaring with laughter, the comedy never gets old.

The music of Home Alone is instantly recognisable and yet I always forget that it's one of John Williams' epic creations. You can't hear it without thinking of the specific scene in the film it relates to, and it's certainly influences a lot of films since. Something that again I hadn't really noticed until I watched the Christmas horror film, Secret Santa (review coming soon).

It always fills me with questions though... Do all Americans have telephones with cords that are about 20 feet long? How did Buzz manage to shove that entire pizza slice in his mouth? Why did Leslie ever marry Frank? Why is Jimmy in the shop so over enthusiastic? How does Kevin manage to create all his traps in such a short amount of time? And who on Earth leaves their house that tidy when they're leaving for holiday? Especially when you consider they left in such a hurry!

The idea is such a fun one, I can see why it's so popular all this time later. Watching it more and more though you do realise that Culkin's acting was pretty bad, but that just adds to its charm.

Watching it with a group of people who already love the film really made it a better viewing. We all laughed at the amazing prat falls from Joe Pesci on the ice and the walls of the cinema caved in slightly as we all took a sharp intake of breath as Marv stood on that nail. It's genuinely more fun to roar with laughter with other fans.

It's sad to think that Home Alone could never happen these days. (Although Google did bring us an advert that gave us a peak at what might happen. I've put the video at the end of the post.) Kevin probably has several smart devices that they could contact or track, the house would also likely be equipped with state of the art surveillance and alarm systems that would have alerted someone to movement and doors opening. On the flip side though it's quite fun to think about what sort of traps Kevin could be creating with the wonders of modern technology. I'd say lets get a petition going to see that happen but while Home Alone 4 was passable I don't think we really need any more of them.

What you should do

This should be in everyone's Christmas film rotation. If you don't watch it at least once a year... well... *shakes head*.

Movie thing you wish you could take home

Everyone needs those quick inventing skills, but I'm actually going to go with Kevin's other superpower... his amazing ability to make epic ice cream sundaes.
  
Messengers 2: The Scarecrow (2009)
Messengers 2: The Scarecrow (2009)
2009 | Horror
5
5.2 (6 Ratings)
Movie Rating
John Rollins is a guy who's just trying to catch a break. He lives on a farm with his wife and two children, but his crops just won't grow. His cornfield is infested with crows and his water pump won't work. Stress and fatigue don't begin to describe what John is currently going through. He's a man of faith that's just trying to figure out how he can support his family with no income. He's pretty much lost all hope until he stumbles upon the scarecrow in his barn. After being convinced by his neighbor, he puts the scarecrow up in his cornfield. Besides, he has nothing to lose and everything to gain. John wakes up to a field full of dead crows and his water pump begins working again. Everything looks to finally be turning in John's favor, but there's two sides to every coin. People that get in the way of John's crops or his family begin to turn up dead. What makes matters worse is that John finds possessions of the victims in his cornfield and he is the only person all the evidence points to. Once he realizes that the scarecrow is the root of his newfound problems and that he could wind up losing his family, John knows he has to get rid of it but he may already be too late...

In my movie watching experience, I've learned that it's usually important to watch an original film before its sequel. With this day and age though where sequels are actually prequels and we get prequel trilogies sixteen years AFTER the original trilogy, there aren't really any guidelines to follow when it comes to watching films anymore. So being somebody who had no interest in seeing The Messengers, the sequel didn't really interest me until they announced Norman Reedus in the title role. Since Reedus had been impressive in films such as The Boondock Saints, Blade II, and even his brief (but rather incredible) cameo in Antibodies, I felt it was my obligation to at least give this film a chance. The results are pretty much what you'd expect for a direct to DVD horror film.

The acting isn't terrible, but doesn't really do much to stand out. Norman Reedus, Heather Stephens, and Richard Riehle are pretty much the cream of the crop as far as acting goes. Reedus does a good job of acting like a farmer who's going through troubled times and just wants to support his family. He was easy to relate to since just about everyone is either going through tough times or has so in the past. Stephens played the concerned wife and was able to portray the widest range of emotions in the film. Riehle always seemed to show up to encourage John Rollins to do mischievous things, so the seeds are planted from the get-go that something isn't quite right with him. The boy who played John's son, Michael, is the only actor in the film that could really be considered atrocious as his lines are delivered so nonchalantly.

The way the rest of the film plays out just feels like it borrowed heavily from Jeepers Creepers 2 and the Children of the Corn films. The scarecrow drags its scythe on the ground as it's stalking its victims, which was a nice touch but was really the only enjoyable part of the scarecrow. Once it reveals itself at the end of the film and starts walking around, it makes pterodactyl sounds and trust me, that's just as incredible as it sounds. The film actually starts going downhill in the second half, which is when the cheesy effects come in and unanswered questions begin. The latter half of the film is filled with a lot of moments that will leave you scratching your head wondering why you even decided to watch this film to begin with.

Messengers 2: The Scarecrow isn't exactly the greatest film to watch, but it isn't the worst either. While it does have its fair share of blood and isn't half bad at times, it doesn't really offer anything most horror fans haven't seen before. Messengers 2 is really only recommended for die hard fans of Norman Reedus since it's basically just a rehash of Jeepers Creepers 2 with a lower budget. It's the type of film that's a decent watch at 3 o' clock in the morning when you stumble across it channel surfing, but isn't worth deliberately tracking down on DVD.
  
The Irishman (2019)
The Irishman (2019)
2019 | Biography, Crime, Drama
Great acting from De Niro, Pesci and Pacino (0 more)
Man... it's long (0 more)
An endurance test but a great endurance test
Martin Scorsese made a lot of enemies recently with his rant against the superficiality of the Marvel movies. But you can hardly argue that his latest film is superficial. We see the mobster Frank Sheeran (Robert De Niro) in his old people's home wistfully recalling his past life. Through flashback we go back to times as early as his service in World War II, where he learned to kill other men without a second thought.

Later, back in Philadelphia, Sheeran has a chance meeting with mob-leader Russell Buffalino (Joe Pesci) and Buffalino hires him as a hit man. It's a working relationship and friendship that is going to last a lifetime.... however long that may be in this business! But it also brings Sheeran into a relationship with union leader Jimmy Hoffa (Al Pacino). And those of you with any knowledge of the history of Jimmy Hoffa (or remember that scene in "Bruce Almighty"!) will recall what happened to him!

One of the issues with these sort of films is that it is impossible (unless you are reading this as a borderline psycho) to form any sort of empathetic relationship with any of the characters. It's horrifying that this is based on a true story: you'd really like to assume that all of this sort of stuff was solely on the pages of tacky crime novels, and not reality.

The horror of Sheeran's actions are neatly reflected by screenwriter Steven Zaillian ("Schindler's List", "Clear and Present Danger") in the impact on his family, particularly on his impressionable young daughter Peggy (Lucy Gallina). Only when he is old and grey can Peggy (now Anna Paquin) vent at her father for the damage done.

The "youngification" work on De Niro and Pesci is really essential for the film to work. Finding a younger actor to play either of these iconic actors would have been a stretch. Here it's very well done. But I will again suggest that we are probably another ten years of technology advancement away from removing the "uncanny valley" effect from scenes like this. It just doesn't quite work for me for a reason I can't put my finger on.

After the career nadir of "Dirty Grandpa" it looked like Robert De Niro might have nothing but bread commercials and dog-food ads to look forward to. However, within three months we've had a resurgence of form: his great performance in "Joker" and now this. Of course, this is a role that he can play in his sleep. And I suspect that might count against him in the Oscar/Bafta season. But its undeniably a great performance.

Joe Pesci (famously mocked as "Baby Yoda" by Ricky Gervais in his hilarious Golden Globe roasting) and Al Pacino are also great, with Pacino being particular impressive as the fanatically focused union boss unable to see the danger he is in. "It is what it is" repeats Sheeran over and over again to deaf ears. A memorable scene.

Again Zaillian's script is brilliant in creating an impossibly tense triangular friendship between the three men. His family love Hoffa and dislike/distrust Buffalino. When the triangle gets stretched to breaking point, and a link needs to be broken, which way will Sheeran jump?

For me, good movies should be seen in the cinema. But I missed its short (to make it Oscar-worthy) release so had to catch it up on the small(-er) screen. Cinemas seem reluctant to stick an "interval" in programmes these days: never quite sure why, since most movie-goers if we are talking a 2 hour+ movie might welcome a loo-break, and the cinema could also sell more ice-cream! But at three and a half hours, a cinema trip would be a bladder-testing challenge for sure. So this is one that I wasn't unhappy to use the pause button on!

It's a superbly constructed movie and well deserved its place on the Oscars "Best Movie" shortlist. It's tense, dramatic and has enough variety of people being shot in the head to make it ghoulishly watchable.

However, while I can appreciate the technical art of the film, and I'm delighted I got to see it, a top film for me needs to be one I would reach for on my DVD rack (spot the old-fashinoned git) for multiple watches. And for all its worthiness, this doesn't really fit the bill.

(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies at https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/01/20/one-manns-movies-film-review-the-irishman-2019/ ).
  
Confessions of an Expat in Paris
Confessions of an Expat in Paris
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
I’ve been a fan of Vicki Lesage for years. I’ve read both Confessions of a Paris Party Girl and Confessions of a Paris Potty Trainer. So I was thrilled when she contacted me for an honest review (click here to learn how to get me to review your book).

Paris Potty Girl details her first few years in Paris, from bar-hopping to getting her first apartment to meeting her husband and Paris Potty Trainer, of course, details pregnancies and getting used to parenthood.

Confessions of an Expat in Paris is an anthology of anecdotes spanning across both these eras in Vicki Lesage’s life. You’ll learn about the cheesy and downright weird pick-up lines she received from French guys as well as the time she might have eaten part of her friend’s thumb.


Yep, you read that last sentence right.
Each anecdote is paired with a drink recipe, many of which sound really good. I can’t wait to try the mulled gin recipe.

Mulled Gin
For when you need to recover from face mask fails
1 bottle of red wine
12 oz. gin
1 teaspoon honey
1 oz. orange juice
1 oz. lemon juice
1 cinnamon stick
Add all the ingredients to a pot
Stir and Simmer until honey is dissolved
Serve warm
I really enjoyed Expat in Paris. The stories are usually hilarious and sometimes just a little bit cringy in a good way. Others are sweet and make me smile, like when she was on her honeymoon with her husband.

With her first two books, I felt like there was more of an overall story instead of disjointed anecdotes. As much as I liked being able to enjoy a quick and witty snapshot of her life before I had to get back to my own, I think I preferred the more continuous storyline in Party Girl and Potty Trainer.

While some of the stories were without a doubt hilariously absurd, like her boss’s father asking about how her vaginal rejuvenation was coming along in front of her coworkers (what the everloving fuck), others were less climactic. Lesage included an entire chapter about how she’s an awkward dancer, except when she did the Dirty Dancing move with her brother on her wedding.


A perfect wedding dance move.
The dancing chapter felt more like a summary than a specific moment in her life, which made my eyes glaze over. And she only casually mentioned what could have been some good stories, like her drunkenly dancing on tabletops in public. I would have loved a complete chapter about one of those times, but they are only mentioned now and then.

Vicki Lesage often makes me laugh out loud when reading her books. Her chapter “10 Ways Living in Paris is Like Dental Work” will always make me smile. She talks about how both involve interesting flavors, a lot of paperwork, and a lot of money, and I’ll go “Oh shit, she’s right.”

Now and then, however, her jokes miss the mark. At one point she veered off-topic to stage an imaginary trial to defend herself against herself for eating so much Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and then, within the trial, she goes even more off-topic by talking about how France doesn’t have Phish Food flavor until I just wanted to skip the chapter.


As of this review, I still haven’t tried any of the drink recipes, but I trust a former hardcore drinker like Vicki Lesage to come up with some good drinks, although I don’t think I’ll ever try The Fluoride Treatment because, well, ew. Not the drink itself, but the name. Even though it’s relevant to the chapter, I’m weirdly squeamish.

However, most of these drinks are probably not for amateurs like me, who drink wine out of a box and can’t tell the difference between Stella Artois and Schlitz (I’m guessing. I’ve never actually had Schlitz. But Stella Artois tastes like every other beer to me).

With the exception of the mulled gin, most of the drink recipes require either a martini shaker or a blender. You can probably mostly pull off these recipes without either, though. Just don’t take a page out of Lesage’s book and use lite pancake syrup instead of honey.

I rate Confessions of an Expat in Paris 4 out of 5 stars. It’s a hilarious book that I recommend to anyone who wants a light-hearted memoir.
  
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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Dune (2021) in Movies

Oct 28, 2021  
Dune (2021)
Dune (2021)
2021 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
“He’s Not The Messiah – He’s a Very Naughty Boy!”
Certain works of fiction have been labelled with the tag of “unfilmable”, and Frank Herbert’s 1965 novel “Dune” is one of those. It’s full of exposition done as internal monologues – which screams “movie voiceover”. And regular readers will know my hatred of those!

Amazingly, Denis Villeneuve manages to pull off the impossible with his version of Dune (part 1), which I saw last night as part of a Cineworld Unlimited preview event. It’s close to being a movie masterpiece.

Plot Summary:
The desert planet of Arrakis is home to the Freman tribe but is a political battleground since it is the only known source of ‘Spice’: a substance that enables interplanetary travel.

Paul (Timothée Chalamet) is the heir to the throne of the House of Atreides, headed by his father Duke Leto Atreides (Oscar Isaac). His mother (Rebecca Ferguson) is Leto’s concubine and possessed with hereditary gifts: mystical powers that make her part of a sect of galactic ‘witches’ with mystical powers. But the House of Atreides is gaining in power, and the Emperor throws a political spanner into the works by evicting the vicious House of Harkonnen from Arrakis and giving it to Atreides. This puts both Houses on the path of war.

Certification:
US: PG-13. UK: 12A.

Talent:
Starring: Timothée Chalamet, Rebecca Ferguson, Oscar Isaac, Zendaya, Jason Momoa, Stellan Skarsgård, Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem, Dave Bautista, Charlotte Rampling.

Directed by: Denis Villeneuve.

Written by: Jon Spaihts, Denis Villeneuve and Eric Roth. (Based on the novel by Frank Herbert).

“Dune” Review: Positives:
My 5*’s for this one goes for the overall vision, which is grandiose with scenes that stick in the brain. As he demonstrated in “Arrival“, Villeneuve likes to go for huge spacecraft that hang “in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t”*. And the ships in this vision are just HUGE.
The ensemble cast does a great job, with Chalamet, Isaac and Ferguson being particularly impressive. Stellan Skarsgård (looking like he is about to tell “a very amusing story about a goat”, if you get that movie reference!) looks to have the most gruelling acting job, having to emerge from, and descend into, a bath of black goo!
Much like Villeneuve’s “Blade Runner 2049“, this movie has cinematography that is worthy of framing and sticking on your wall. (Greig Fraser is the man behind the camera here).
Hans Zimmer‘s music is phenomenal. I’m not sure it’s a good ‘sit down and listen to’ sort of soundtrack, but it fits the movie beautifully.
* I used this Douglas Adams quote for my “Arrival” review, and then Mark Kermode used the same quote: I like to think he read my review!

Negatives:
It wasn’t a problem for me, but I expect some will consider the movie to be too much mood and not enough action. I’ve seen some comment that the film was “emotionally empty”: but I really didn’t feel that, and am well-invested in the story ready for “Part 2”.
This is probably faithful to the books, but given all of the advanced spacecraft technology on show, and laser/blaster technology, it seems bonkers that when we get to hand-to-hand combat between the armies that we get into “swords and sandals” territory.
Observation:
There’s nothing new under the Tatooine suns. And so much of this film has you linking the concepts back to “Star Wars”:

“The Force” is now “The Way”
The Jedi are the ‘Ben and Jerry Set’. (Well, that’s what it sounded like to me… and I don’t even like Ice Cream!)

Both films centre on a Messiah-like “chosen one”, foretold by legend
“Spice” also features in “Star Wars” with “spice runners” (as in the Millenium Falcon doing the ‘Kessel Run’)
There’s even a ‘pit of sarlaac’ moment in “Dune”.
Of course, since Frank Herbert wrote “Dune” in 1965, there’s a significant question as to who is plagiarising who here!

Summary Thoughts on “Dune”
At 2 hours 35 minutes, it’s YET ANOTHER long movie: cementing October 2021 as the month of long movies. (I just did a quick tally, and of the six films I’ve seen this month they average 139 minutes in length: and that’s with “Venom: Let There Be Carnage” dragging the average down!)

But this is a movie that MUST be seen on the big screen. It’s a memorable movie experience and highly recommended.

I can’t wait for Villeneuve’s “Part 2”, currently in pre-production.
  
Cloud Control
Cloud Control
2020 | Party Game
We see so often on TV and movies characters looking up at the sky and picking out figures in the clouds. Maybe they see elephants, or airplanes, or ice cream cones. Usually when I look up into the clouds I see impending rain showers, or snowflakes pelting my face, or merely barricades to the sun. I almost never get the fun shapes that I expect, sadly. But now, with Cloud Control in my arsenal, I can make any shape I wish. For victory points!

Cloud Control is a 3-10 player party game of building unique cloud shapes from cues on cards. By manipulating basic cloud shapes players must get their opponents to guess what they are building to score VP kites.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup shuffle the cards into one gigantic pile or into smaller stacks, as shown below. Separate the square cloud shape cards by shape and place them into stacks by shape. Place the VP kites and sand timer nearby and determine the starting player. The game may now begin with the first cloud artist!
On a turn the active player will draw a Shape Card, choose one of the shapes and then have someone start the timer. Within the 90 seconds provided the player will need to grab Cloud Cards from the stacks to create their versions of the shapes prompted. Once the timer runs out, or other players correctly guesses what is being built, both the artist and guessers will receive point kites equal to the difficulty of the shapes identified. Easier creations will score 1VP while more difficult ones will score 3VP. Play then proceeds to the next player in table order to take their turn.

Once every player has had a turn to build, a lightning round will commence. The starting player will choose a Shape Card and then announce to all players the shape to be built. The players will have 90 seconds to each build the shape announced by taking only ONE Cloud Card at a time to add to their creation. Once the timer is out of sand, it is flipped once again for players to explain their creations. At the end of this arguing period all players will vote and the shape with the most votes will earn 5VP.


Players will each have one more turn to earn points for Shape Cards, and the winner is the player with the most VPs.
Components. This game is a bunch of Cloud Cards, 300 Shape Cards (plus extra blanks if you received the promos), VP kites, and a sand timer. The timer is normal sand timer quality, the cards used throughout the game are all fine quality, and the kites are cute red and gold tokens. The art style in the game is very light and airy and fits very well with the theme. Again, I have no problems with the components from 25th Century Games.

The gameplay is really fun, and turns (though 90 seconds long) seem like they go by so quickly that one could easily lose track of time playing. Having to work super fast because you are trying to score all the shapes on the card is harrying and stressful, or just a little less so if you decide to go big and detailed for just 3VP on one shape. Finding interesting uses for the basic shapes keeps all players active and on the edge of their seats. This truly is a wonderful party game (for when you can have game nights again).

Why didn’t I rate it higher then if I seem to like it so much? Well, for my typical game group, we tend to gravitate toward games with more meat on their bones. So I really do not see this getting played a ton on a regular rotation. That said, I am basing this on our game nights we had pre-COVID so things may certainly change once we are able to get together as a large group again. While I have played this with different player counts, I haven’t been able to get more than four to play. So I am keeping my rating open for now. I could see it improving down the road when I am able to play this with more people. I just really want to test its limit of 10 players and see how it goes. If it can handle 8+ and still be just as fun as with three or four, I will update this review and the graphic up top.

For now, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a floaty 8 / 12. I do love being able to bust out my creative side and think more in geometric shapes. Every player I have played with seems to also enjoy it quite a bit. It is simple to teach and learn, plays quickly, and offers so many opportunities to laugh hysterically as players attempt to create common items or concepts from uncommon basic cloud shapes. If you are looking for something a little different to bring to game night or offer your friends and family, check out Cloud Control. And post some photos of your better creations. I want to see them!