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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Tomb Raider (2018) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
A tremendously energetic and fun video game spin-off.
In this #TimesUp year, reviewing a film like “Tomb Raider” is just asking for trouble! So where shall I start digging my shallow grave?
Let’s start with the video game… “Tomb Raider” is of course the original video game phenomenon that started in 1993, featuring Lara Croft: someone that teenagers across the land mastur…. did their homework alongside in bedrooms up and down the land. Beauty; athleticism; a fierce independence; unfeasibly large breasts; ridiculously impossible leaps: in this film reboot, Alicia Vikander’s Lara differs from this ideal in just one respect. And before the Dora Milaje smash through my windows and drag me off for incarceration on Mysogeny Island, I’ll point out that this is OBVIOUSLY the least important omission! 🙂
For this film is good… very good.
“I’M SORRY….? WHAT DID YOU SAY DR BOB??” “But this is a film about a VIDEO GAME! … They are all uniformly s****e!”
Beauty, brains and talent: the GB Olympic team will likely be calling.
I know – I can barely bring myself to admit it. But this one really is good. Most of this is down to the reason I was looking forward so much to this one. Alicia Vikander (“Ex Machina“; “The Danish Girl“; “The Light Between Oceans“) is such a class act, and here she is so much more than just a one-dimensional action hero. She hurts, she mourns, she feels guilt, she’s vulnerable. And it’s all there on her face. Great acting skill. She also kicks ass like no woman on film since Emily Blunt in “Edge of Tomorrow“!
Don’t you just hate it when you drop a bag of flour in your kitchen?
The story by Evan Daugherty and Geneva Robertson-Dworet (with Alastair Siddons adding to the screenplay) rockets off in great style with a “fox and hounds” bike chase around the City of London which is brilliantly done and sets up Croft’s character with the minimum of tedious back story. Switch to the main story and Lara is struggling to face the fact that her father (Dominic West, “Money Monster“), seen in flashback, is finally dead after going off to Japan seven years previously in search of the legendary tomb of ancient sorceress Queen Himiko. The Croft corp. COO (Kristin Scott Thomas, “Darkest Hour“) persuades Lara its time to sign the necessary papers, but on the verge of this act the lawyer Mr Yaffe (Derek Jacobi, “Murder on the Orient Express“) lets a significant cat out of the bag and sets Lara off on the trail of her long-dead father’s original mission.
In happier times. Daddy (Dominic West) goes off on yet another trip from Croft Manor.
It’s a rollercoaster ride that’s really well done. But I reckon the writers should have named Jeffrey Boam, George Lucas and Menno Meyjes as co-collaborators, for the film plagerises terribly from “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”. In two or three places, the similarities are shocking! As in the best of Lucas traditions though there are some breathtaking set-pieces, with the best of them staged at the top of a raging waterfall that’s just plane ridiculous! (Even if it plagerises blatantly from “The Lost World”!).
English and patient. Kristin Scott Thomas as the guiding hand at the Croft corporation.
The movie’s tremendous to look at too, with cinematography by George Richmond (“Kingsman“; “Eddie the Eagle“) and (aside from a dodgy helicopter effect) good special effect by Max Poolman (“District 9”) and his team.
My one criticism would be that Vogel – the chief villain, played by Walton Goggins (“The Hateful Eight“) – is rather too unremittingly evil to have two sweetly smiling young children in his desk photo. One can only hope he faces a nasty demise!
Never trust a guy with a beard. Walton Goggins, a bit over the top as the villain of the piece.
The film is directed by Norwegian director Roar Uthaug, in what looks to be his first “non-Norwegian” film. Roar by name; roar by nature! He does a great job. An early “summer blockbuster” actioner that gets two thumbs up from me. What a pleasant surprise!
Let’s start with the video game… “Tomb Raider” is of course the original video game phenomenon that started in 1993, featuring Lara Croft: someone that teenagers across the land mastur…. did their homework alongside in bedrooms up and down the land. Beauty; athleticism; a fierce independence; unfeasibly large breasts; ridiculously impossible leaps: in this film reboot, Alicia Vikander’s Lara differs from this ideal in just one respect. And before the Dora Milaje smash through my windows and drag me off for incarceration on Mysogeny Island, I’ll point out that this is OBVIOUSLY the least important omission! 🙂
For this film is good… very good.
“I’M SORRY….? WHAT DID YOU SAY DR BOB??” “But this is a film about a VIDEO GAME! … They are all uniformly s****e!”
Beauty, brains and talent: the GB Olympic team will likely be calling.
I know – I can barely bring myself to admit it. But this one really is good. Most of this is down to the reason I was looking forward so much to this one. Alicia Vikander (“Ex Machina“; “The Danish Girl“; “The Light Between Oceans“) is such a class act, and here she is so much more than just a one-dimensional action hero. She hurts, she mourns, she feels guilt, she’s vulnerable. And it’s all there on her face. Great acting skill. She also kicks ass like no woman on film since Emily Blunt in “Edge of Tomorrow“!
Don’t you just hate it when you drop a bag of flour in your kitchen?
The story by Evan Daugherty and Geneva Robertson-Dworet (with Alastair Siddons adding to the screenplay) rockets off in great style with a “fox and hounds” bike chase around the City of London which is brilliantly done and sets up Croft’s character with the minimum of tedious back story. Switch to the main story and Lara is struggling to face the fact that her father (Dominic West, “Money Monster“), seen in flashback, is finally dead after going off to Japan seven years previously in search of the legendary tomb of ancient sorceress Queen Himiko. The Croft corp. COO (Kristin Scott Thomas, “Darkest Hour“) persuades Lara its time to sign the necessary papers, but on the verge of this act the lawyer Mr Yaffe (Derek Jacobi, “Murder on the Orient Express“) lets a significant cat out of the bag and sets Lara off on the trail of her long-dead father’s original mission.
In happier times. Daddy (Dominic West) goes off on yet another trip from Croft Manor.
It’s a rollercoaster ride that’s really well done. But I reckon the writers should have named Jeffrey Boam, George Lucas and Menno Meyjes as co-collaborators, for the film plagerises terribly from “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”. In two or three places, the similarities are shocking! As in the best of Lucas traditions though there are some breathtaking set-pieces, with the best of them staged at the top of a raging waterfall that’s just plane ridiculous! (Even if it plagerises blatantly from “The Lost World”!).
English and patient. Kristin Scott Thomas as the guiding hand at the Croft corporation.
The movie’s tremendous to look at too, with cinematography by George Richmond (“Kingsman“; “Eddie the Eagle“) and (aside from a dodgy helicopter effect) good special effect by Max Poolman (“District 9”) and his team.
My one criticism would be that Vogel – the chief villain, played by Walton Goggins (“The Hateful Eight“) – is rather too unremittingly evil to have two sweetly smiling young children in his desk photo. One can only hope he faces a nasty demise!
Never trust a guy with a beard. Walton Goggins, a bit over the top as the villain of the piece.
The film is directed by Norwegian director Roar Uthaug, in what looks to be his first “non-Norwegian” film. Roar by name; roar by nature! He does a great job. An early “summer blockbuster” actioner that gets two thumbs up from me. What a pleasant surprise!
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Bridget Jones's Baby (2016) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Come the F*** on Bridget… who’s the Daddy?
The world’s favourite lonely-hearts diarist is back. Bridget (Renée Zellweger) once again starts the film ‘all by herself’, haunted by occasional meetings with ex-flame Mark D’Arcy (Colin Firth) – now married to Camilla (Agni Scott) – and facing the natural discomfort of the early funeral of another friend who has died way too young. And at 43, Bridget’s biological clock is also ticking towards parental midnight.
Proving that enormous ditzyness and lack of talent need not be an impediment to a successful career, Bridget is now a top TV floor manager on a cable news station, anchored by friend Miranda (an excellent Sarah Solemani). In an effort to shake Bridget out of her malaise, Miranda takes her to a music festival (featuring some fun cameos!) where she has a one-night-stand with the delectable (speaking at least for all the women in my audience) Jack (Patrick Dempsey). Following another one-night-stand with D’Arcy and finding herself pregnant, a comedy of farce follows with one expectant mother and two prospective fathers competing for Bridget’s affections.
OK. So it’s not bloody Shakespeare. But it is an extremely well-crafted comedy, and as a British rom-com it significantly out-does many of the efforts of the rom-com king – Richard Curtis – in recent years. As a series its just amazing how many of the original cast have been reunited after 2004’s rather lacklustre “Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason”. Particularly effective are Bridget’s parents, played by the delectably Tory Gemma Jones and the ever-perfect Jim Broadbent. And Bridget’s trio of irreverent friends: Shazzer (Sally Phillips), Jude (Shirley Henderson) and Tom (James Callis) are all back. All are either well into parenthood or have impending parenthood, adding to the pressure on Bridget’s aching ovaries.
New to the cast, and brilliant in every scene she’s in, is the ever-radiant Emma Thompson as Bridget’s doctor. Is there any actress in the movies today that can deliver a comic line better-timed than Thompson? I doubt it. Just superb. And Thompson also co-wrote the screenplay, together with Bridget author Helen Fielding and – an unlikely contributor – Ali G collaborator Dan Mazer. All contribute to a sizzling script – not based on Fielding’s poorly received story – that zips along and makes the 123 minute run-time fly by. My one reservation would be – despite the film being set in the current day – lapses into internet memes like Hitler Cats and song crazes that are at least five years out of date. But I forgive that for the Colin Firth ‘Gangnam’ line, for me the funniest in the whole film.
Zellweger looks fantastic, pulling off the 4 year age difference from her character with ease. And isn’t it wonderful to see a middle-aged character as the centre of a rom-com for once? Hollywood would be well to remember that romance is not restricted to the 20-somethings. Certainly the packed cinema – filled with probably 90% (well oiled) women – certainly thought so, in what was a raucous and entertaining showing!
The music is superbly supported by an epic soundtrack of well-chosen tracks from Ellie Goulding, Years and Years, Jess Glynne, Lily Allen (with very funny adult content!) and classic oldies, all wrappered with nice themes by the brilliant and underrated Craig “Love Actually” Armstrong.
Sharon Maguire – the director of the original “Diary” – has delivered here a fun, absorbing and enormously entertaining piece of fluff that deserves to do well. And it has in the UK, making $11M in its opening weekend here and playing to packed showings. However – incomprehensibly – it has bombed in the US with only $8M coming in. Hopefully it might prove a bit of a sleeper hit there: come on America… we go to see all of the rubbish rom-coms you send over here, and this is way better than most of those!
This was a film I was determined to be sniffy about with my rating. But as a) I enjoyed it very much and b) a packed audience of women can’t be wrong…
Proving that enormous ditzyness and lack of talent need not be an impediment to a successful career, Bridget is now a top TV floor manager on a cable news station, anchored by friend Miranda (an excellent Sarah Solemani). In an effort to shake Bridget out of her malaise, Miranda takes her to a music festival (featuring some fun cameos!) where she has a one-night-stand with the delectable (speaking at least for all the women in my audience) Jack (Patrick Dempsey). Following another one-night-stand with D’Arcy and finding herself pregnant, a comedy of farce follows with one expectant mother and two prospective fathers competing for Bridget’s affections.
OK. So it’s not bloody Shakespeare. But it is an extremely well-crafted comedy, and as a British rom-com it significantly out-does many of the efforts of the rom-com king – Richard Curtis – in recent years. As a series its just amazing how many of the original cast have been reunited after 2004’s rather lacklustre “Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason”. Particularly effective are Bridget’s parents, played by the delectably Tory Gemma Jones and the ever-perfect Jim Broadbent. And Bridget’s trio of irreverent friends: Shazzer (Sally Phillips), Jude (Shirley Henderson) and Tom (James Callis) are all back. All are either well into parenthood or have impending parenthood, adding to the pressure on Bridget’s aching ovaries.
New to the cast, and brilliant in every scene she’s in, is the ever-radiant Emma Thompson as Bridget’s doctor. Is there any actress in the movies today that can deliver a comic line better-timed than Thompson? I doubt it. Just superb. And Thompson also co-wrote the screenplay, together with Bridget author Helen Fielding and – an unlikely contributor – Ali G collaborator Dan Mazer. All contribute to a sizzling script – not based on Fielding’s poorly received story – that zips along and makes the 123 minute run-time fly by. My one reservation would be – despite the film being set in the current day – lapses into internet memes like Hitler Cats and song crazes that are at least five years out of date. But I forgive that for the Colin Firth ‘Gangnam’ line, for me the funniest in the whole film.
Zellweger looks fantastic, pulling off the 4 year age difference from her character with ease. And isn’t it wonderful to see a middle-aged character as the centre of a rom-com for once? Hollywood would be well to remember that romance is not restricted to the 20-somethings. Certainly the packed cinema – filled with probably 90% (well oiled) women – certainly thought so, in what was a raucous and entertaining showing!
The music is superbly supported by an epic soundtrack of well-chosen tracks from Ellie Goulding, Years and Years, Jess Glynne, Lily Allen (with very funny adult content!) and classic oldies, all wrappered with nice themes by the brilliant and underrated Craig “Love Actually” Armstrong.
Sharon Maguire – the director of the original “Diary” – has delivered here a fun, absorbing and enormously entertaining piece of fluff that deserves to do well. And it has in the UK, making $11M in its opening weekend here and playing to packed showings. However – incomprehensibly – it has bombed in the US with only $8M coming in. Hopefully it might prove a bit of a sleeper hit there: come on America… we go to see all of the rubbish rom-coms you send over here, and this is way better than most of those!
This was a film I was determined to be sniffy about with my rating. But as a) I enjoyed it very much and b) a packed audience of women can’t be wrong…
Puke Flyswatter (7 KP) rated Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980) in Movies
Sep 12, 2017
Incredible special effects for the time (1 more)
Story writing and characters
The Force is strong with this one
Contains spoilers, click to show
Most fans argue over which of its ongoing episodes, is the best in the Star Wars saga. The Empire Strikes Back took a darker approach than its predecessor in delivering the story of the Rebellion's fight to bring peace and freedom to the galaxy by destroying the Empire who now rule with far more than just iron fist, having snatched its power from the dead hands of the Old Republic. This in my opinion, is what made it not only the best of the saga, but the best science fiction movie of all time and more controversially- one of the best movies ever made; an accolade that has still to be taken by any other movie of the genre to date.
George Lucas, ("the daddy" and brains behind the series of stories of intergalactic war and oppression), had reportedly suffered from exhaustion to the point of near breakdown- even suffering a near heart attack and so decided for the sake of his health and mental well-being not to helm this project which led to Irvin Kershner taking the reins instead.
Kershner's change in approach is apparent throughout the movie and even from the opening scene on Hoth- the barren ice planet- there is a palpably hollow and sombre overall feel which is more than likely deliberate so as to reflect the apparent futility and hopelessness of the protagonists’ struggle. This cleverly generated more empathy toward the characters, meaning the viewer became more invested in the outcome of the story.
The scope and scale of each scene is also cleverly used to give the viewer insight into the characters' state of mind and the choice in lighting and colour (or lack thereof) to deliver more impact and focus on the subject matter in each scene.
As far as story writing and script go, this is also miles ahead of the first and brilliant instalment of the saga. This was apparently due to George Lucas not being happy with the direction of the original draft of the screenplay and being forced to write a further two drafts for the movie following the death of the original screenplay author- the renowned Leigh Brackett who sadly died losing her battle with cancer. Lucas felt it necessary to then bring in Lawrence Kasdan to complete the writing of the screenplay, Kasdan would also go on to pen the screenplays for Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Return Of The Jedi, Star Wars VII The Force Awakens (as co-writer) and is also currently penning the screenplay for the upcoming Han Solo...solo movie. His input and impact on Empire took the saga from the swashbuckling heroic scenes of A New Hope to the almost World War-esque style in which characters are somewhat downtrodden and clearly showing the negative psychological effects on their personalities that are associated with any and every war. This set it apart from A New Hope which, despite the deaths of countless poor and innocent Jawas, inhabitants of Alderaan and Obi-Wan Kenobi, still managed to keep an optimistic outlook which while being an immensely fun and thrilling watch, did not do much in the way of drawing the viewer in and having a connection with the characters. This did not in any way ruin my enjoyment of the movie, I was a kid after all, but upon watching Empire for the first time, I was introduced to a new concept in cinema for me- one where the heroes do not always win, but who still carry on the fight no matter how emotionally scarred or beaten they may be. As a kid, this was so much more of a compelling and exciting movie as it was near impossible to guess where the story would lead and what the future would hold for the then trilogy.
Another highly positive aspect, is that the viewer did not necessarily need to have watched the previous movie and could jump straight into the story, able to enjoy it as each of the characters and the movie’s histories are cleverly re-introduced and explained without the use of exhausting flashbacks or back stories, effectively allowing it to serve as a standalone movie.
For people- who for some reason unbeknownst to me- that are not fans of the genre, this remains as a compelling, well-written and visually stunning piece of movie-making that still stands the test of time and one that anyone of any age can enjoy.
George Lucas, ("the daddy" and brains behind the series of stories of intergalactic war and oppression), had reportedly suffered from exhaustion to the point of near breakdown- even suffering a near heart attack and so decided for the sake of his health and mental well-being not to helm this project which led to Irvin Kershner taking the reins instead.
Kershner's change in approach is apparent throughout the movie and even from the opening scene on Hoth- the barren ice planet- there is a palpably hollow and sombre overall feel which is more than likely deliberate so as to reflect the apparent futility and hopelessness of the protagonists’ struggle. This cleverly generated more empathy toward the characters, meaning the viewer became more invested in the outcome of the story.
The scope and scale of each scene is also cleverly used to give the viewer insight into the characters' state of mind and the choice in lighting and colour (or lack thereof) to deliver more impact and focus on the subject matter in each scene.
As far as story writing and script go, this is also miles ahead of the first and brilliant instalment of the saga. This was apparently due to George Lucas not being happy with the direction of the original draft of the screenplay and being forced to write a further two drafts for the movie following the death of the original screenplay author- the renowned Leigh Brackett who sadly died losing her battle with cancer. Lucas felt it necessary to then bring in Lawrence Kasdan to complete the writing of the screenplay, Kasdan would also go on to pen the screenplays for Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Return Of The Jedi, Star Wars VII The Force Awakens (as co-writer) and is also currently penning the screenplay for the upcoming Han Solo...solo movie. His input and impact on Empire took the saga from the swashbuckling heroic scenes of A New Hope to the almost World War-esque style in which characters are somewhat downtrodden and clearly showing the negative psychological effects on their personalities that are associated with any and every war. This set it apart from A New Hope which, despite the deaths of countless poor and innocent Jawas, inhabitants of Alderaan and Obi-Wan Kenobi, still managed to keep an optimistic outlook which while being an immensely fun and thrilling watch, did not do much in the way of drawing the viewer in and having a connection with the characters. This did not in any way ruin my enjoyment of the movie, I was a kid after all, but upon watching Empire for the first time, I was introduced to a new concept in cinema for me- one where the heroes do not always win, but who still carry on the fight no matter how emotionally scarred or beaten they may be. As a kid, this was so much more of a compelling and exciting movie as it was near impossible to guess where the story would lead and what the future would hold for the then trilogy.
Another highly positive aspect, is that the viewer did not necessarily need to have watched the previous movie and could jump straight into the story, able to enjoy it as each of the characters and the movie’s histories are cleverly re-introduced and explained without the use of exhausting flashbacks or back stories, effectively allowing it to serve as a standalone movie.
For people- who for some reason unbeknownst to me- that are not fans of the genre, this remains as a compelling, well-written and visually stunning piece of movie-making that still stands the test of time and one that anyone of any age can enjoy.
Cynthia Armistead (17 KP) rated Alpha (Shifters, #6) in Books
Mar 1, 2018
Well, that was disappointing. I'm honestly sorry that I ever read that first book (which I got free somehow?). I remember being annoyed at the spelling of the main character's name, "Faythe." I should have stopped then.
The way the plot wound up, for the most part, had no real surprises. Anybody who has followed the series has to have figured out what was going to happen by now. It's been foreshadowed - heck, shouted from the rooftops.
No, my disappointment is in the way the damned romance thing was handled.
If you've bothered to read this but haven't read the series, I'm surprised. Anyway, we have a classic love triangle between Faythe, Marc, and Jace. The setting is supposed to be current day America with a twist - the characters are werecats, part of a hidden subculture.
We all know that mainstream Americans are supposedly monogamous but more serially monogamous and closet - something - in practice. Anyway, werecat society is fiercely monogamous. Females are rare, and they're supposed to hit puberty, get married, and produce the next generation with their One True Love. Period. No other options.
So Faythe has defied tradition so far. She went to college. Good for her! She had a boyfriend there. Even better! A non-Pride boyfriend. Great! (To my way of thinking, not her subculture's). She left her guy, Marc, standing at the altar to do all that, though. Eww - not classy.
But after she goes back home, she gets back together with Marc. Hmph.
Then she "connects" with Jace. That means "has sex with." Ooo, bad idea, since she was in a committed relationship with Marc at the time. Very bad idea. But Oh, They were Grieving! Together! For her brother and his best friend, who had just been treacherously killed by enemies! So of course the way to do that, instead of talking about their memories of him, is to roll around naked in the middle of a public room, right?
Um, not the way I'd do it, but, apparently that's their way. They do their grieving with a lot more alcohol than I would too, though.
They don't get caught, at least - not then. No, an enemy figures it out due to how the three interact, and tells Marc, and he believes the enemy (because everybody believes enemies over allies in the heat of battle). And they're all too immature to put the crap behind them and just deal with the fact that they're in the middle of a "war," too.
I kept wanting to spank all of them, and it wasn't because I found any of them sexy.
I did hope, at first, that bringing Jace in as a love interest - and Faythe does repeat, over and over and over again, that she loves Jace, that it wasn't "just sex" - might mean that there was hope for some sort of surprise in the end of the book. That would have been nice, right? Something of a twist that didn't lead to an unhappy ending? I would have loved to see that!
She's going to be the first female Alpha, so why not the first Alpha with two husbands? She'll be the first Alpha who has to deal with pregnancy, so why not have one husband to protect her while she's pregnant and another to get deal with what has to be done in person? What a concept?
My hope was buoyed by the fact that Vincent deliberately developed Jase as a decent potential partner, showing him taking care of Faythe well when she's injured, supporting her as she would need to be supporting when she takes over the Pride as Alpha, and working well with Marc and others repeatedly.
Marc, on the other hand, is a jerk, slamming doors, stomping around, and doing everything but pissing on the furniture to mark his territory.
Just once, I want to see a hero or heroine walk away when someone says, "I cant live without you!" I want to see someone say, "Whoa - that's WAY unhealthy, babe! You need THERAPY!"
Instead, Faythe's father tells her to "Choose the one you can't live without." UGH. Thanks, Daddy! Codependent much?
Do I think she chose the wrong Tom? Absolutely. But - she's a spoiled brat, and she chose a jealous ass. They deserve each other. Let the sweet, loving man go find the sweet, loving woman he deserves. Hopefully he'll stop the drunken escapades and keep it in his pants from now on. Maybe Kaci will grow up to be his Tabby?
Anyway, there you have it. Volume Eleventy Billion and thirteen of How To Do Dysfunctional Relationships.
Next, please!
The way the plot wound up, for the most part, had no real surprises. Anybody who has followed the series has to have figured out what was going to happen by now. It's been foreshadowed - heck, shouted from the rooftops.
No, my disappointment is in the way the damned romance thing was handled.
If you've bothered to read this but haven't read the series, I'm surprised. Anyway, we have a classic love triangle between Faythe, Marc, and Jace. The setting is supposed to be current day America with a twist - the characters are werecats, part of a hidden subculture.
We all know that mainstream Americans are supposedly monogamous but more serially monogamous and closet - something - in practice. Anyway, werecat society is fiercely monogamous. Females are rare, and they're supposed to hit puberty, get married, and produce the next generation with their One True Love. Period. No other options.
So Faythe has defied tradition so far. She went to college. Good for her! She had a boyfriend there. Even better! A non-Pride boyfriend. Great! (To my way of thinking, not her subculture's). She left her guy, Marc, standing at the altar to do all that, though. Eww - not classy.
But after she goes back home, she gets back together with Marc. Hmph.
Then she "connects" with Jace. That means "has sex with." Ooo, bad idea, since she was in a committed relationship with Marc at the time. Very bad idea. But Oh, They were Grieving! Together! For her brother and his best friend, who had just been treacherously killed by enemies! So of course the way to do that, instead of talking about their memories of him, is to roll around naked in the middle of a public room, right?
Um, not the way I'd do it, but, apparently that's their way. They do their grieving with a lot more alcohol than I would too, though.
They don't get caught, at least - not then. No, an enemy figures it out due to how the three interact, and tells Marc, and he believes the enemy (because everybody believes enemies over allies in the heat of battle). And they're all too immature to put the crap behind them and just deal with the fact that they're in the middle of a "war," too.
I kept wanting to spank all of them, and it wasn't because I found any of them sexy.
I did hope, at first, that bringing Jace in as a love interest - and Faythe does repeat, over and over and over again, that she loves Jace, that it wasn't "just sex" - might mean that there was hope for some sort of surprise in the end of the book. That would have been nice, right? Something of a twist that didn't lead to an unhappy ending? I would have loved to see that!
She's going to be the first female Alpha, so why not the first Alpha with two husbands? She'll be the first Alpha who has to deal with pregnancy, so why not have one husband to protect her while she's pregnant and another to get deal with what has to be done in person? What a concept?
My hope was buoyed by the fact that Vincent deliberately developed Jase as a decent potential partner, showing him taking care of Faythe well when she's injured, supporting her as she would need to be supporting when she takes over the Pride as Alpha, and working well with Marc and others repeatedly.
Marc, on the other hand, is a jerk, slamming doors, stomping around, and doing everything but pissing on the furniture to mark his territory.
Just once, I want to see a hero or heroine walk away when someone says, "I cant live without you!" I want to see someone say, "Whoa - that's WAY unhealthy, babe! You need THERAPY!"
Instead, Faythe's father tells her to "Choose the one you can't live without." UGH. Thanks, Daddy! Codependent much?
Do I think she chose the wrong Tom? Absolutely. But - she's a spoiled brat, and she chose a jealous ass. They deserve each other. Let the sweet, loving man go find the sweet, loving woman he deserves. Hopefully he'll stop the drunken escapades and keep it in his pants from now on. Maybe Kaci will grow up to be his Tabby?
Anyway, there you have it. Volume Eleventy Billion and thirteen of How To Do Dysfunctional Relationships.
Next, please!
Alice (12 KP) rated Summoned (Summoned, #1) in Books
Jul 3, 2018
<em>Summoned</em> follows a 23-year-old genie named Dimitri - who, in typical genie fashion - is bound by his master to fulfill wishes. The twist is that Dimitri's master isn't limited to just 3 but has no limit.
The story opens with Dimitri fulfilling a kidnapping request followed by his inevitable rest period directly after - where he meets Syd in a dive bar. From there the story just gets a little weird - Dimitri takes Syd home and they end up having sex literally right away (nothing against it cause whatever floats your boat right?) But it was practically as soon as they got in Dimitri's house.
For a book that generally is considered fantasy with a bit of romance thrown in there's an awful lot of sex and it's rushed sex - almost as if the author felt a little weird writing the scenes - Syd is all kinds of crazy stalker as well, like she steals his number from his phone, turns up on his doorstep unannounced and threatens to slash his tires kinda crazy.
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #f6c7b7;">∞</span></h2>
The master - Karl - is an millionaire arse. I have nothing good to say about him whatsoever. Generally, Dimitri can rest for a day or two before Karl makes another wish but Karl starts to make make a new wish every day - Silvia is Karl's daughter and she screams spoiled rich girl who wants to breed with Dimitri - her inheritance.
It's all kinds of messed up.
Dimitri does a job for Karl and goes home to rest only to get a call from Stalker Syd going a little crazy on him for abandoning her - I forgot to mention that when Karl wants a wish he summons Dimitri to a chamber - the following day after yet more rushed sex Karl has another wish for Dimitri where he has to steal a safe - only he <em>fails</em>.
When Dimitri fails to fulfill a wish the buzz in his head grows and he ends up getting a really bad migraine until he fulfills his wish or pigs fly and Karl recant the wish.
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #f6c7b7;">∞</span></h2>
Syd is all kinds of crazy. I don't think much of her character at all, it's like she's got her heart invested after a one night stand and then goes crazy everyone Dimitri doesn't do what she expects him to do.
<blockquote>"You're just gone so much." Syd's voice sounds so empty and hollow. "I never really know when you'll be back, what you're doing, or anything at all. I don't want to be that needy girlfriend, but it's so frustrating. I know it was meant to be casual, but I thought it could be... more. I just wanted some way to know you were thinking of me."</blockquote>
They've been having sex - not even dating - for what feels like 2 days but is more like 3 weeks or so. Little cray cray.
Silvia Walker is also all kinds of crazy - she wants to breed with Dimitri even if it's against his wishes, she murders small furry animals and she smokes like a chimney. She's got it into her head that Dimitri is the love of her life even though he makes it abundantly clear that he can't stand the sight of her. To make matters worse, she finds out that her daddy is trying to sire a son to make sure she doesn't receive her inheritance.
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #f6c7b7;">∞</span></h2>
Although it's a very good concept - a power hungry, slightly crazy millionaire with his own personal genie to fulfill any and every wish he wants - there was just something missing. I don't know maybe the book was too short and the story was a little rushed for me, the insta-love between Dimitri and Syd bugged the ever-loving crap out of me.
The story as a whole was just too rushed for my tastes and at times I didn't get why something was happening or why Dimitri sounded like a stupid teenager, or why for an "all-powerful" master Karl was an absolute douchebag about a lot of stuff.Like wishing Dimitri kills Syd for one - what's his deal?
It had one <em>hell</em> of a twist at the end though. I didn't expect that all which is what pushed this review up from a 3 to a 3.5.
<blockquote>I'm no longer Leo, or Alan, or Alex.
I'm Dimitri.
And I'm free.</blockquote>
The story opens with Dimitri fulfilling a kidnapping request followed by his inevitable rest period directly after - where he meets Syd in a dive bar. From there the story just gets a little weird - Dimitri takes Syd home and they end up having sex literally right away (nothing against it cause whatever floats your boat right?) But it was practically as soon as they got in Dimitri's house.
For a book that generally is considered fantasy with a bit of romance thrown in there's an awful lot of sex and it's rushed sex - almost as if the author felt a little weird writing the scenes - Syd is all kinds of crazy stalker as well, like she steals his number from his phone, turns up on his doorstep unannounced and threatens to slash his tires kinda crazy.
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #f6c7b7;">∞</span></h2>
The master - Karl - is an millionaire arse. I have nothing good to say about him whatsoever. Generally, Dimitri can rest for a day or two before Karl makes another wish but Karl starts to make make a new wish every day - Silvia is Karl's daughter and she screams spoiled rich girl who wants to breed with Dimitri - her inheritance.
It's all kinds of messed up.
Dimitri does a job for Karl and goes home to rest only to get a call from Stalker Syd going a little crazy on him for abandoning her - I forgot to mention that when Karl wants a wish he summons Dimitri to a chamber - the following day after yet more rushed sex Karl has another wish for Dimitri where he has to steal a safe - only he <em>fails</em>.
When Dimitri fails to fulfill a wish the buzz in his head grows and he ends up getting a really bad migraine until he fulfills his wish or pigs fly and Karl recant the wish.
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #f6c7b7;">∞</span></h2>
Syd is all kinds of crazy. I don't think much of her character at all, it's like she's got her heart invested after a one night stand and then goes crazy everyone Dimitri doesn't do what she expects him to do.
<blockquote>"You're just gone so much." Syd's voice sounds so empty and hollow. "I never really know when you'll be back, what you're doing, or anything at all. I don't want to be that needy girlfriend, but it's so frustrating. I know it was meant to be casual, but I thought it could be... more. I just wanted some way to know you were thinking of me."</blockquote>
They've been having sex - not even dating - for what feels like 2 days but is more like 3 weeks or so. Little cray cray.
Silvia Walker is also all kinds of crazy - she wants to breed with Dimitri even if it's against his wishes, she murders small furry animals and she smokes like a chimney. She's got it into her head that Dimitri is the love of her life even though he makes it abundantly clear that he can't stand the sight of her. To make matters worse, she finds out that her daddy is trying to sire a son to make sure she doesn't receive her inheritance.
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #f6c7b7;">∞</span></h2>
Although it's a very good concept - a power hungry, slightly crazy millionaire with his own personal genie to fulfill any and every wish he wants - there was just something missing. I don't know maybe the book was too short and the story was a little rushed for me, the insta-love between Dimitri and Syd bugged the ever-loving crap out of me.
The story as a whole was just too rushed for my tastes and at times I didn't get why something was happening or why Dimitri sounded like a stupid teenager, or why for an "all-powerful" master Karl was an absolute douchebag about a lot of stuff.Like wishing Dimitri kills Syd for one - what's his deal?
It had one <em>hell</em> of a twist at the end though. I didn't expect that all which is what pushed this review up from a 3 to a 3.5.
<blockquote>I'm no longer Leo, or Alan, or Alex.
I'm Dimitri.
And I'm free.</blockquote>
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Coco (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
An animated masterpiece? I should Coco!
I had no great expectations of this film. In fact, I honestly went to see it solely because – with the lazy multiplex habit of milking films like Jedi, Jumanji and (God help us) Pitch Perfect 3 – this was the only film at my local cinemas that I hadn’t seen. But wow… just wow!
For this is a masterpiece, and with the Oscar nominations released yesterday, it almost seems a crime that it wasn’t included in the Best Picture list (it must surely follow its Golden Globes win and snatch the Best Animated film category… although I admit that “Loving Vincent” clearly looks like it took a lot more work!).
Miguel (voiced by Anthony Gonzalez) lives in the quaint Mexican village of Santa Cecilia with his extended shoe-making family, including his grandmother Abuelita (Renée Victor) and his wizened old great-grandmother Coco (Ana Ofelia Murguía, via a brilliant piece of animation). Coco was a child from a broken home, with music being the cause of all the trouble, and this has led to a multi-generational ban that Abuelita polices with fierce passion. Unfortunately, Miguel “has the music in him”, idolising the – now deceased – singing sensation and matinee idol Ernesto de la Cruz (Benjamin Bratt, “Doctor Strange“). Desperate to perform in the Piazza talent contest, held during the evening of the “Day of the Dead” festival, Miguel takes destiny into his own hands…. which might prove fatal as he is dragged, alive and kicking, into the ‘land of the dead’.
The film is a thing of beauty. Some of the scenes: notably the candlelit graveyard, the “petal bridge” and the first sight of the land of the dead are done with such majesty and art that they take your breath away. Literally jaw dropping! (Try to make sure you see it on the big screen). So there are similarities here with “Blade Runner 2049” which also had images that could easily grace the walls of any art gallery in the world.
Where the film deviates from “Blade Runner” though is the original story by Lee Unkrich (who also directs), Adrian Molina (who co-directs), Jason Katz and Matthew Aldrich. Whereas the sci-fi reboot was a bit flaccid, story-wise, Coco develops in a surprisingly non-linear way. The story you think you are on suddenly does unexpected switchbacks and gets very deep indeed.
Deep? But this is a kids film right? Well, no, not really. Sure it has a lot of fun skeleton action, in the style of the re-constituting Olaf from “Frozen”, and a cute but mangy dog with a ridiculously long tongue. But the themes exposed here are FAR from childish. They encompass family, ambition, work/life balance, death and remembrance in such a fashion that parents exposing the film to young kids (I would think, up to 7 or 8 years old) should be ready with sensitive answers to “Mummy/Daddy, why…” questions so as to avoid significant anxiety and nightmares. The relationship between Miguel and his grandmother Abuelita, switching from violent outbursts to sudden loving hugs, might – I think – also confuse and disturb young children. Its UK certificate is “PG”, not “U”, for good reason.
So be prepared to cry. If you are anything like me, there will be a point in this film where you are desperately trying to recall the faces and voices of all of those people in your life that you have lost over the years. And some of the final jolts in this film will leave you almost as drained (almost!) as the start of “Up”.
As befits the subject matter there is a great score, with a mariachi feel, by Michael Giacchino, including a nice rendition of “When You Wish Upon A Star” over the Disney castle production logo. And there are some great songs, including the pivotal “Remember Me” which is now Oscar nominated.
Passport control at Heathrow was never like this.
Watch out for some nice cameo voice performances as well: Cheech Marin (from Cheech and Chong) plays the ‘border control’ officer, and Pixar regular John Ratzenberger (Hamm in “Toy Story”) turns up again playing Juan Ortodoncia, a character whose dentist fondly remembers him (LOL)!
With John Lasseter recently dragged into the #metoo scandal, and taking 6 months off to ponder on his “missteps”, one hopes this will not knock Pixar off its track too much. For with this evidence the studio shouldn’t keep trying to milk existing “Incredibles” and “Toy Story” franchises, but come up with more original entertainments like this. Because, for me, this rises into my top-three favourite Pixar films of all time (along with Toy Story and Wall-E).
For this is a masterpiece, and with the Oscar nominations released yesterday, it almost seems a crime that it wasn’t included in the Best Picture list (it must surely follow its Golden Globes win and snatch the Best Animated film category… although I admit that “Loving Vincent” clearly looks like it took a lot more work!).
Miguel (voiced by Anthony Gonzalez) lives in the quaint Mexican village of Santa Cecilia with his extended shoe-making family, including his grandmother Abuelita (Renée Victor) and his wizened old great-grandmother Coco (Ana Ofelia Murguía, via a brilliant piece of animation). Coco was a child from a broken home, with music being the cause of all the trouble, and this has led to a multi-generational ban that Abuelita polices with fierce passion. Unfortunately, Miguel “has the music in him”, idolising the – now deceased – singing sensation and matinee idol Ernesto de la Cruz (Benjamin Bratt, “Doctor Strange“). Desperate to perform in the Piazza talent contest, held during the evening of the “Day of the Dead” festival, Miguel takes destiny into his own hands…. which might prove fatal as he is dragged, alive and kicking, into the ‘land of the dead’.
The film is a thing of beauty. Some of the scenes: notably the candlelit graveyard, the “petal bridge” and the first sight of the land of the dead are done with such majesty and art that they take your breath away. Literally jaw dropping! (Try to make sure you see it on the big screen). So there are similarities here with “Blade Runner 2049” which also had images that could easily grace the walls of any art gallery in the world.
Where the film deviates from “Blade Runner” though is the original story by Lee Unkrich (who also directs), Adrian Molina (who co-directs), Jason Katz and Matthew Aldrich. Whereas the sci-fi reboot was a bit flaccid, story-wise, Coco develops in a surprisingly non-linear way. The story you think you are on suddenly does unexpected switchbacks and gets very deep indeed.
Deep? But this is a kids film right? Well, no, not really. Sure it has a lot of fun skeleton action, in the style of the re-constituting Olaf from “Frozen”, and a cute but mangy dog with a ridiculously long tongue. But the themes exposed here are FAR from childish. They encompass family, ambition, work/life balance, death and remembrance in such a fashion that parents exposing the film to young kids (I would think, up to 7 or 8 years old) should be ready with sensitive answers to “Mummy/Daddy, why…” questions so as to avoid significant anxiety and nightmares. The relationship between Miguel and his grandmother Abuelita, switching from violent outbursts to sudden loving hugs, might – I think – also confuse and disturb young children. Its UK certificate is “PG”, not “U”, for good reason.
So be prepared to cry. If you are anything like me, there will be a point in this film where you are desperately trying to recall the faces and voices of all of those people in your life that you have lost over the years. And some of the final jolts in this film will leave you almost as drained (almost!) as the start of “Up”.
As befits the subject matter there is a great score, with a mariachi feel, by Michael Giacchino, including a nice rendition of “When You Wish Upon A Star” over the Disney castle production logo. And there are some great songs, including the pivotal “Remember Me” which is now Oscar nominated.
Passport control at Heathrow was never like this.
Watch out for some nice cameo voice performances as well: Cheech Marin (from Cheech and Chong) plays the ‘border control’ officer, and Pixar regular John Ratzenberger (Hamm in “Toy Story”) turns up again playing Juan Ortodoncia, a character whose dentist fondly remembers him (LOL)!
With John Lasseter recently dragged into the #metoo scandal, and taking 6 months off to ponder on his “missteps”, one hopes this will not knock Pixar off its track too much. For with this evidence the studio shouldn’t keep trying to milk existing “Incredibles” and “Toy Story” franchises, but come up with more original entertainments like this. Because, for me, this rises into my top-three favourite Pixar films of all time (along with Toy Story and Wall-E).
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Pitch Perfect 3 (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Aca-bysmal.
Mr Plot and Miss Tale were teenage sweethearts. They met at Storyville High School and inseparable, but were viciously cursed by a jealous school nurse, bitter from a recent split. Notwithstanding this setback, they realised that they were soul-mates, got engaged and were married in the following summer. Everyone wished them well, and spoke of the time when the sound of little Plots would ring out around their new house. Unfortunately, however hard they tried, no little Plot arrived. The ancient curse of the school nurse rang in their ears. They paid to see the most expensive doctors on Harley Street, but noone could help them. It turned out that not only was Mrs Plot infertile, but so was Mr Plot. It was hopeless, and because of an unfortunate conviction for marujiana possession in Mr Plot’s teenage years they couldn’t even adapt, sorry, adopt a little Plot from someone else. So they lived together with sadness and bitterness building up inside them. Would the curse ever be lifted? Would they work through their differences to find new purpose in life? Or would they part acromoniously with Mrs Plot joining a convent to sing mournful songs of grief and missed opportunities in the Swiss Alps? TO… BE…CONTINUED.
There. You were there, weren’t you? Living it. You want to know what happens next? Sure you do. You see, even I can come up with a story…. and I’m not a “professional Hollywood scriptwriter”.
Why then, I ask you. Why oh why oh why oh why oh why do the scriptwriters of Pitch Perfect 3 – Kay Cannon (the original PP screenwriter) and Mike White (“The Emoji Movie”) – think that this dreadfully lazy set of loosely connected scenes represent a viable basis for a movie? Is the view from the guys who green-lit this thing that the crowd that loved “Pitch Perfect” and the pretty dreadful sequel “Pitch Perfect 2” will pay their box office money regardless? Let’s advertise the hell out of it and cash in our chips before word of mouth gets out!?
In this ‘adventure’ the Bellas go on a US Forces overseas tour (though this is not really explained until they suddenly appear in Spain – what? how?). The really REALLY annoying commentators John (John Michael Higgins) and Gail (Elizabeth Banks, “Love and Mercy“) tag along, filming some lame half-arsed documentary about them until even the scriptwriters get fed up of that tedious plot-line and it quietly withers on the vine.
Fat Amy (is this still an acceptable nickname in 2017?) also runs into her nefarious father again after many years (John Lithgow, “Interstellar“, “Daddy’s Home 2“). Lithgow – sporting a wonderful Australian accent – is about the best thing in the film. The “plot” (sorry, I can barely bring myself to use that word) revolves around Daddy trying to get something of Amy’s that he needs, for reasons – given the yacht he sails – that makes no sense whatsoever. Will he succeed? Will the Bellas get selected to headline with DJ Khaled (who is apparently a thing, but I’ve never heard him on BBC Radio 2)? Does anyone really care?
As my wife pointed out, it’s a bit unfortunate that the only Bellas who are not stick-thin size zeroes are the obese and annoyingly loud one, the black lesbian one and two that nobody knows why they are there. The message to the target female teen audience is clear: if you want to be “in” you’d better diet… hard. Nice.
Looking for all the world like sticks of candy-cane. The size 0 Bellas.
What can I say that’s vaguely nice about this monstrosity?
Some of the acapella song and dance numbers are fun enough, particularly “Toxic” that opens the film;
The closing number by Anna Kendrick (“Table 19“) is quite appealing;
There are also about 5 funny lines that made me smile: not laugh… smile;
It’s also a relief that John and Gail, unlike in “Pitch Perfect 2“, only come out with one xenophobic/racist comment in the film (and that’s about the French, so that hardly counts 🙂 ).
And I’m out…
There will be no doubt die-hard teenage fans who will love this one too. But my wife was a great fan of the first film (as indeed was I); she tolerated the second one; but even she declared this to be “Aca-Awful”. It’s not as toxically dreadful as “Dirty Grandpa“… what could be? But, seriously, life is too short for this.
There. You were there, weren’t you? Living it. You want to know what happens next? Sure you do. You see, even I can come up with a story…. and I’m not a “professional Hollywood scriptwriter”.
Why then, I ask you. Why oh why oh why oh why oh why do the scriptwriters of Pitch Perfect 3 – Kay Cannon (the original PP screenwriter) and Mike White (“The Emoji Movie”) – think that this dreadfully lazy set of loosely connected scenes represent a viable basis for a movie? Is the view from the guys who green-lit this thing that the crowd that loved “Pitch Perfect” and the pretty dreadful sequel “Pitch Perfect 2” will pay their box office money regardless? Let’s advertise the hell out of it and cash in our chips before word of mouth gets out!?
In this ‘adventure’ the Bellas go on a US Forces overseas tour (though this is not really explained until they suddenly appear in Spain – what? how?). The really REALLY annoying commentators John (John Michael Higgins) and Gail (Elizabeth Banks, “Love and Mercy“) tag along, filming some lame half-arsed documentary about them until even the scriptwriters get fed up of that tedious plot-line and it quietly withers on the vine.
Fat Amy (is this still an acceptable nickname in 2017?) also runs into her nefarious father again after many years (John Lithgow, “Interstellar“, “Daddy’s Home 2“). Lithgow – sporting a wonderful Australian accent – is about the best thing in the film. The “plot” (sorry, I can barely bring myself to use that word) revolves around Daddy trying to get something of Amy’s that he needs, for reasons – given the yacht he sails – that makes no sense whatsoever. Will he succeed? Will the Bellas get selected to headline with DJ Khaled (who is apparently a thing, but I’ve never heard him on BBC Radio 2)? Does anyone really care?
As my wife pointed out, it’s a bit unfortunate that the only Bellas who are not stick-thin size zeroes are the obese and annoyingly loud one, the black lesbian one and two that nobody knows why they are there. The message to the target female teen audience is clear: if you want to be “in” you’d better diet… hard. Nice.
Looking for all the world like sticks of candy-cane. The size 0 Bellas.
What can I say that’s vaguely nice about this monstrosity?
Some of the acapella song and dance numbers are fun enough, particularly “Toxic” that opens the film;
The closing number by Anna Kendrick (“Table 19“) is quite appealing;
There are also about 5 funny lines that made me smile: not laugh… smile;
It’s also a relief that John and Gail, unlike in “Pitch Perfect 2“, only come out with one xenophobic/racist comment in the film (and that’s about the French, so that hardly counts 🙂 ).
And I’m out…
There will be no doubt die-hard teenage fans who will love this one too. But my wife was a great fan of the first film (as indeed was I); she tolerated the second one; but even she declared this to be “Aca-Awful”. It’s not as toxically dreadful as “Dirty Grandpa“… what could be? But, seriously, life is too short for this.
TheDefunctDiva (304 KP) rated Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) in Movies
Sep 27, 2017
C is for Candy
Contains spoilers, click to show
And yes, I certainly mean eye candy. Johnny Depp is gorgeous despite the makeup artists’ attempts to make him seem pale and awkward. My brain isn’t working properly due to lack of sleep so I’ll just go ahead and warn you that this is more a regurgitation than a review. Read at your own risk, because I even give the entire ending of the movie away…
This is the story of Charlie Bucket, an impoverished but genuinely good-natured child. His dream is one of millions: to win a Golden Ticket, and tour Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory in the hopes of obtaining an even bigger prize. If this plot sounds familiar, it’s because you’ve seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, or have read the book. I profess my ignorance, for I haven’t read the book Roald Dahl wrote, and therefore have no idea which movie version adheres more strictly to the original text.
Let’s move on by more closely examining Burton’s version. Despite some of the world’s most recalcitrant children winning the four other tickets, Charlie lucks out and becomes the recipient of the last Golden Ticket. This brings great joy to his family and even makes the bed-ridden Grandpa Joe ambulatory again. I love Charlie’s family, especially because his Dad works in a toothpaste factory but everyone in the family has nasty teeth.
The glorious day of the tour arrives and each child shows up with a parental or grandparental guardian. They are introduced first to Willy Wonka by means of a puppet show, which ends in a glorious and unintentional fire. With the smoldering puppets dying disturbingly in the background, Wonka appears with cue cards, giving the impression that the man has no idea how to socially interact. The group then enters the factory.
The first child to be eliminated from the contest is Augustus Gloop. The group has been given free reign of a room made entirely of candy. Augustus cannot resist the lake of chocolate, and he falls in. He is sucked up a tube that leads to the fudge room. Then the Oompa Loompas appear and perform a song engineered for this particular predictable tragedy.
The Oompa Loompas in Burton’s version are short, and they do not have orange hair, but they all have the same face and body. Deep Roy, the actor portraying the Oompa Loompas, deserved an Oscar for effort in my book, for the special features indicate how very involved he was with this production. The songs sung by the Oompa Loompas varied significantly from those in the older version. In fact, I enjoyed how each song of admonishment involved a specific genre of music.
Next Violet Beauregard, the competitive one, is turned into a blueberry by chewing gum. And then we have the case of the sad and supremely spoiled Veruca Salt, who ends up getting thrown down a garbage chute by some very judgmental and highly trained squirrels. After each young lady has been expelled from the contest, the Oompa Loompas say adieu with a musical number.
Throughout the film, Wonka has flashbacks about his father. It seems the elder Wonka was a dentist, and he forbade the young Willy to eat candy. Several scenes show Willy Wonka defying the will of his father, which ultimately led Willy to be a world-renowned chocolatier. Though it was nice to have this subplot as an explanation for some of Wonka’s erratic behavior, I found that I like Gene Wilder’s portrayal of Willy Wonka better. He was whimsical and strange, but the film and the actor seemed to offer no explanation as to how he got that way.
Mike Teavee, a young boy with the attention span of a gnat on amphetamines, is the last of the factory’s victims. He decides to teleport himself into a television screen, which I’m sure seemed like a good idea at the time. Teavee is shown in peril as an Oompa Loompa flips the channels. Now incredibly small, Wonka decides that the best remedy for Mike is the taffy pulling machine.
Charlie is the only child left, and Wonka ushers Charlie and Grandpa Joe into the glass elevator. According to the button, they are going up and out. Indeed, they do, eventually stopping when they crash through the roof of the Bucket house. The grand prize is revealed: Willy Wonka is giving Charlie the factory. This becomes impossible when Wonka forces Charlie to choose between factory and family. Eventually, Wonka reconciles his Daddy issues and allows Charlie’s family to stay at the factory.
The visual effects in this film were amazing. As mentioned previously, Deep Roy was incredible as the face of the many Oompa Loompas. I thought the child actors in this film were also impressive in how they perfectly captured their respective vices. Overall, this was a good film. And yet I still miss moments from the older film, especially the poem with “the grisly reaper mowing.” Call me sentimental…
This is the story of Charlie Bucket, an impoverished but genuinely good-natured child. His dream is one of millions: to win a Golden Ticket, and tour Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory in the hopes of obtaining an even bigger prize. If this plot sounds familiar, it’s because you’ve seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, or have read the book. I profess my ignorance, for I haven’t read the book Roald Dahl wrote, and therefore have no idea which movie version adheres more strictly to the original text.
Let’s move on by more closely examining Burton’s version. Despite some of the world’s most recalcitrant children winning the four other tickets, Charlie lucks out and becomes the recipient of the last Golden Ticket. This brings great joy to his family and even makes the bed-ridden Grandpa Joe ambulatory again. I love Charlie’s family, especially because his Dad works in a toothpaste factory but everyone in the family has nasty teeth.
The glorious day of the tour arrives and each child shows up with a parental or grandparental guardian. They are introduced first to Willy Wonka by means of a puppet show, which ends in a glorious and unintentional fire. With the smoldering puppets dying disturbingly in the background, Wonka appears with cue cards, giving the impression that the man has no idea how to socially interact. The group then enters the factory.
The first child to be eliminated from the contest is Augustus Gloop. The group has been given free reign of a room made entirely of candy. Augustus cannot resist the lake of chocolate, and he falls in. He is sucked up a tube that leads to the fudge room. Then the Oompa Loompas appear and perform a song engineered for this particular predictable tragedy.
The Oompa Loompas in Burton’s version are short, and they do not have orange hair, but they all have the same face and body. Deep Roy, the actor portraying the Oompa Loompas, deserved an Oscar for effort in my book, for the special features indicate how very involved he was with this production. The songs sung by the Oompa Loompas varied significantly from those in the older version. In fact, I enjoyed how each song of admonishment involved a specific genre of music.
Next Violet Beauregard, the competitive one, is turned into a blueberry by chewing gum. And then we have the case of the sad and supremely spoiled Veruca Salt, who ends up getting thrown down a garbage chute by some very judgmental and highly trained squirrels. After each young lady has been expelled from the contest, the Oompa Loompas say adieu with a musical number.
Throughout the film, Wonka has flashbacks about his father. It seems the elder Wonka was a dentist, and he forbade the young Willy to eat candy. Several scenes show Willy Wonka defying the will of his father, which ultimately led Willy to be a world-renowned chocolatier. Though it was nice to have this subplot as an explanation for some of Wonka’s erratic behavior, I found that I like Gene Wilder’s portrayal of Willy Wonka better. He was whimsical and strange, but the film and the actor seemed to offer no explanation as to how he got that way.
Mike Teavee, a young boy with the attention span of a gnat on amphetamines, is the last of the factory’s victims. He decides to teleport himself into a television screen, which I’m sure seemed like a good idea at the time. Teavee is shown in peril as an Oompa Loompa flips the channels. Now incredibly small, Wonka decides that the best remedy for Mike is the taffy pulling machine.
Charlie is the only child left, and Wonka ushers Charlie and Grandpa Joe into the glass elevator. According to the button, they are going up and out. Indeed, they do, eventually stopping when they crash through the roof of the Bucket house. The grand prize is revealed: Willy Wonka is giving Charlie the factory. This becomes impossible when Wonka forces Charlie to choose between factory and family. Eventually, Wonka reconciles his Daddy issues and allows Charlie’s family to stay at the factory.
The visual effects in this film were amazing. As mentioned previously, Deep Roy was incredible as the face of the many Oompa Loompas. I thought the child actors in this film were also impressive in how they perfectly captured their respective vices. Overall, this was a good film. And yet I still miss moments from the older film, especially the poem with “the grisly reaper mowing.” Call me sentimental…
Lee (2222 KP) rated The Umbrella Academy in TV
Mar 4, 2019
I hadn’t even heard anything about The Umbrella Academy before, let alone read any of the Dark Horse comic series on which this Netflix show is adapted from. The premise, and the trailer for the show, didn’t initially appeal to me if I’m honest. But, it turns out that Netflix have only gone and done it again, turning out yet another binge worthy little gem of a show.
The setup for Umbrella Academy is that one day in 1989, 43 babies were born to mothers who were not pregnant when that day began. An eccentric billionaire, Sir Reginald Hargreeves, purchases seven of those babies and raises them, training them to become a powerful crime fighting team. Living with them at the Umbrella Academy is an android Nanny, who the children refer to as Mom, and a well spoken elderly chimpanzee butler called Dr Pogo (impressive work from Weta, the team behind the recent Planet of The Apes trilogy). Each child is known only by a number given to them by their ‘Father’, Sir Reginald – Number 1 through to Number 7 – ranked in order of their usefulness to him!
Fast forward to present day and the team have all but disbanded, with what’s left of them living out problem filled adult lives. Number 1 (now known as Luther) has been living on the moon for the past 4 years. He possesses super strength and has a very bulky appearance, wearing roll neck jumpers and a long coat. Number 2 (now Diego) is a vigilante and a bit of a knife expert. Number 3 (Allison) is now a famous actress, gifted with the ability to alter reality with her voice. Number 4 (Klaus) is a junkie who can communicate with the dead. Number 5 is able to perform small teleportations, or time jumps, but has been missing since they were all teenagers. Number 6 (Ben) was killed prior to the events in this show and Number 7 (Vanya) is believed not to have any special abilities, always being neglected and overlooked by the others while growing up. When news reaches them all that Sir Reginald has died, they all return to the academy.
The opening episode of The Umbrella Academy is packed full of thrills, mystery and a very exciting setup for the remainder of the season. We get a taste of the childrens abilities and teamwork, impressively taking out a bunch of bad guys. Then in present day, Number 5 suddenly appears from a portal in the sky. He claims to have spent decades living in a post-apocalyptic future, having jumped there all those years ago, but unable to return. He survived there until the age of 58, but on his return to present day he returned to his 13 year old appearance. We get a glimpse of the apocalyptic world that Number 5 arrived in and discover that whatever causes it is due to happen in just a few days from present day.
From there, the show suffers with what a lot of high concept shows tend to suffer from – second episode drag. That’s not to say that it’s boring, but we begin to delve into some of the Daddy issues that the various team members have, along with issues some of them have with each other and it’s a sharp contrast to the impressive opening episode. If I’m honest, by the end of episode 3 I was considering giving up, but I stuck with it. I really grew to like this dysfunctional family, and as the show dips back and forth between their teenage years and the present day, I really became invested in the show and its characters. They begin to band together to work through their issues and try and find a way of working out what causes the impending apocalypse, and how to stop it.
There are certainly consequences which play out throughout the season though. We discover that during his time in the future, Number 5 became involved in an organisation which works to correct events in time in order to ensure the destined timeline plays out as it should. Because of Number 5’s return to the present, he is now being hunted by a pair of black suited assassins called Hazel and Cha-Cha. Consequently, the body count in this show is pretty high, usually accompanied by a killer soundtrack!
I’m glad I stuck with it, because the whole thing soon became compulsive viewing, building to an incredibly entertaining and satisfying finale. With the apocalypse imminent, the whole team finally work together once more – a few twists and turns along the way, and a great cliffhanger setting things up for another season. I really loved everything about this show and the way that something so completely bonkers is presented so well, so believable and so intense.
The setup for Umbrella Academy is that one day in 1989, 43 babies were born to mothers who were not pregnant when that day began. An eccentric billionaire, Sir Reginald Hargreeves, purchases seven of those babies and raises them, training them to become a powerful crime fighting team. Living with them at the Umbrella Academy is an android Nanny, who the children refer to as Mom, and a well spoken elderly chimpanzee butler called Dr Pogo (impressive work from Weta, the team behind the recent Planet of The Apes trilogy). Each child is known only by a number given to them by their ‘Father’, Sir Reginald – Number 1 through to Number 7 – ranked in order of their usefulness to him!
Fast forward to present day and the team have all but disbanded, with what’s left of them living out problem filled adult lives. Number 1 (now known as Luther) has been living on the moon for the past 4 years. He possesses super strength and has a very bulky appearance, wearing roll neck jumpers and a long coat. Number 2 (now Diego) is a vigilante and a bit of a knife expert. Number 3 (Allison) is now a famous actress, gifted with the ability to alter reality with her voice. Number 4 (Klaus) is a junkie who can communicate with the dead. Number 5 is able to perform small teleportations, or time jumps, but has been missing since they were all teenagers. Number 6 (Ben) was killed prior to the events in this show and Number 7 (Vanya) is believed not to have any special abilities, always being neglected and overlooked by the others while growing up. When news reaches them all that Sir Reginald has died, they all return to the academy.
The opening episode of The Umbrella Academy is packed full of thrills, mystery and a very exciting setup for the remainder of the season. We get a taste of the childrens abilities and teamwork, impressively taking out a bunch of bad guys. Then in present day, Number 5 suddenly appears from a portal in the sky. He claims to have spent decades living in a post-apocalyptic future, having jumped there all those years ago, but unable to return. He survived there until the age of 58, but on his return to present day he returned to his 13 year old appearance. We get a glimpse of the apocalyptic world that Number 5 arrived in and discover that whatever causes it is due to happen in just a few days from present day.
From there, the show suffers with what a lot of high concept shows tend to suffer from – second episode drag. That’s not to say that it’s boring, but we begin to delve into some of the Daddy issues that the various team members have, along with issues some of them have with each other and it’s a sharp contrast to the impressive opening episode. If I’m honest, by the end of episode 3 I was considering giving up, but I stuck with it. I really grew to like this dysfunctional family, and as the show dips back and forth between their teenage years and the present day, I really became invested in the show and its characters. They begin to band together to work through their issues and try and find a way of working out what causes the impending apocalypse, and how to stop it.
There are certainly consequences which play out throughout the season though. We discover that during his time in the future, Number 5 became involved in an organisation which works to correct events in time in order to ensure the destined timeline plays out as it should. Because of Number 5’s return to the present, he is now being hunted by a pair of black suited assassins called Hazel and Cha-Cha. Consequently, the body count in this show is pretty high, usually accompanied by a killer soundtrack!
I’m glad I stuck with it, because the whole thing soon became compulsive viewing, building to an incredibly entertaining and satisfying finale. With the apocalypse imminent, the whole team finally work together once more – a few twists and turns along the way, and a great cliffhanger setting things up for another season. I really loved everything about this show and the way that something so completely bonkers is presented so well, so believable and so intense.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Mystic Vale in Tabletop Games
Jun 12, 2019
The Land needs you, Druid! It is plagued, barren, in need of revitalization and only your Circle can cure it and bring vivacity back to our home. Earn as many VP crystal shards as you can to defeat the other Druids and re-beautify us!
DISCLAIMER: This review focuses on vanilla Mystic Vale. We have most of the expansions in our collections, and we may do reviews on them and how they change the experience. If we do, we will either update this review or link to the expansion reviews here. -T
Okay, so the last part of my intro doesn’t quite make thematic sense, but this is a competitive game. A really good competitive game where there really isn’t a ton of direct player interaction, so if you enjoy merely messing with your opponents’ plans and just seeming like an annoying bee sting, read on.
I will also get this out of the way early: this is my first Card Crafting Game and the first of its type (that I know of, anyway). The concept is explained in the next paragraph. There are now others, but this is the grand-daddy. I was skeptical at first and was late to hop on the bandwagon here, but when I did I was really blown away. You have your own deck of cards that is exactly the same as your opponents’ decks, with a different colored back. Throw those cards into the provided clear sleeves, set up the other decks from which you will be purchasing upgrade cards, and you are setup.
The game mechanics are familiar, where you are pushing your luck to flip over cards from your deck to create a hand of cards… or bust and do nothing. Using the symbols on these cards allows you purchase cards from the current offering grid. Once you have purchased your new card(s) you must put them in the sleeves along with your starting cards to improve those starting cards! How can we do this, you ask? THE CARDS ARE SEE-THROUGH PLASTIC CARDS. Some starting cards are completely blank, and so adding to them drastically increases their value. This is a twist on the old deck building mechanic where you are no longer adding cards to make your deck more plentiful, but you are improving the sleeved cards you already have.
The art on the cards you are purchasing from the offer are printed in a way where information is split into three areas – top, middle, and bottom. So, you may have a starting card that gives you one icon worth of purchasing power with art on the top section. You grab a card to add to that another purchasing icon, with art on the bottom section. Now the next time this card comes up in your hand it is worth two icons to spend on further cards. Simple, right? Well, there are several types of purchasing icons (stars, leaves, paws, etc), not just one general icon. Some cards will furnish you with the other icons that you can use to purchase Vale cards (see photo below). These are powerful cards that can provide VPs and other actions to propel you to victory.
There’s so much in this game, even with just the vanilla base cards, that I just cannot explain everything here. So I won’t. If you have questions, do let me know. Speaking of the base game, here’s what you get.
A box. The box is decent size and will accommodate an expansion. I believe it is supposed to handle more than one, but in my experience, I wasn’t able to fit a whole lot in there with the provided insert. So I made my own. The VP tokens are great. The plastic cards are really great, but they have a strange (or familiar if you have played games like Gloom) smell to them that takes a bit to get used to smelling. Also, the cards come with a protective cling-film layer that will eventually start peeling off. These are used to facilitate printing on the plastic, and can be kept on or taken off – your preference. I’ll tell you what though. The art on this game is absolutely stellar. I really haven’t seen much better on a game, so I definitely am keeping my protective film on mine. The sleeves are decent, but I have had a few blowouts from usage. The game comes with more sleeves than is necessary, so I am hoping I never run out.
This review is long enough, but I wanted the reader to know that I hold this game in VERY high regard. It is well entrenched in my Top 10 list, and I don’t see it moving downward any time soon. The expansions definitely add a ton of replayability to it, but even as is, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a revivified 21 / 24.
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/03/15/mystic-vale-review/
DISCLAIMER: This review focuses on vanilla Mystic Vale. We have most of the expansions in our collections, and we may do reviews on them and how they change the experience. If we do, we will either update this review or link to the expansion reviews here. -T
Okay, so the last part of my intro doesn’t quite make thematic sense, but this is a competitive game. A really good competitive game where there really isn’t a ton of direct player interaction, so if you enjoy merely messing with your opponents’ plans and just seeming like an annoying bee sting, read on.
I will also get this out of the way early: this is my first Card Crafting Game and the first of its type (that I know of, anyway). The concept is explained in the next paragraph. There are now others, but this is the grand-daddy. I was skeptical at first and was late to hop on the bandwagon here, but when I did I was really blown away. You have your own deck of cards that is exactly the same as your opponents’ decks, with a different colored back. Throw those cards into the provided clear sleeves, set up the other decks from which you will be purchasing upgrade cards, and you are setup.
The game mechanics are familiar, where you are pushing your luck to flip over cards from your deck to create a hand of cards… or bust and do nothing. Using the symbols on these cards allows you purchase cards from the current offering grid. Once you have purchased your new card(s) you must put them in the sleeves along with your starting cards to improve those starting cards! How can we do this, you ask? THE CARDS ARE SEE-THROUGH PLASTIC CARDS. Some starting cards are completely blank, and so adding to them drastically increases their value. This is a twist on the old deck building mechanic where you are no longer adding cards to make your deck more plentiful, but you are improving the sleeved cards you already have.
The art on the cards you are purchasing from the offer are printed in a way where information is split into three areas – top, middle, and bottom. So, you may have a starting card that gives you one icon worth of purchasing power with art on the top section. You grab a card to add to that another purchasing icon, with art on the bottom section. Now the next time this card comes up in your hand it is worth two icons to spend on further cards. Simple, right? Well, there are several types of purchasing icons (stars, leaves, paws, etc), not just one general icon. Some cards will furnish you with the other icons that you can use to purchase Vale cards (see photo below). These are powerful cards that can provide VPs and other actions to propel you to victory.
There’s so much in this game, even with just the vanilla base cards, that I just cannot explain everything here. So I won’t. If you have questions, do let me know. Speaking of the base game, here’s what you get.
A box. The box is decent size and will accommodate an expansion. I believe it is supposed to handle more than one, but in my experience, I wasn’t able to fit a whole lot in there with the provided insert. So I made my own. The VP tokens are great. The plastic cards are really great, but they have a strange (or familiar if you have played games like Gloom) smell to them that takes a bit to get used to smelling. Also, the cards come with a protective cling-film layer that will eventually start peeling off. These are used to facilitate printing on the plastic, and can be kept on or taken off – your preference. I’ll tell you what though. The art on this game is absolutely stellar. I really haven’t seen much better on a game, so I definitely am keeping my protective film on mine. The sleeves are decent, but I have had a few blowouts from usage. The game comes with more sleeves than is necessary, so I am hoping I never run out.
This review is long enough, but I wanted the reader to know that I hold this game in VERY high regard. It is well entrenched in my Top 10 list, and I don’t see it moving downward any time soon. The expansions definitely add a ton of replayability to it, but even as is, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a revivified 21 / 24.
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/03/15/mystic-vale-review/