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Lou Grande (148 KP) rated The Covenant (2006) in Movies
Jul 3, 2018
I could watch this on infinite loop until I'm dead
I've watched this movie twice in as many days because it is the kind of bad that is wonderful. I don't know how I missed this one as a teenager, as everything involving witchcraft was interesting to me then. Think of The Covenant as a spiritual successor to The Craft, but with boys. And there are boys. This movie is one fuzzy sex scene away from being a David DeCoteau film. Notable features are an all male shower scene filled with foggy butts, Sebastian Stan (who's nineteen or twenty years old here) stumbling over a line regarding another kid's penis (after being called a homosexual slur) and, last but not least, the line, "I'm going to make you my weyotch." It's a gem.
The plot is blah, the music is alright, and it has the mid-noughts "blue and orange" filter--but that's not why you're watching this movie. You're watching it because the actors are hot, there's not-so subtle gay subtext (though if Sebastian Stan's character kisses another guy, is it really subtext?), and latent homoeroticism. The whole stinkin' thing could be an allegory for homosexuality, but really, I don't think anyone was thinking that far ahead.
Also, there's a character named Pogue Perry. Pogue. As in, rhymes with "vogue." My boyfriend couldn't stop laughing, and he was only half watching it to humor me.
The plot is blah, the music is alright, and it has the mid-noughts "blue and orange" filter--but that's not why you're watching this movie. You're watching it because the actors are hot, there's not-so subtle gay subtext (though if Sebastian Stan's character kisses another guy, is it really subtext?), and latent homoeroticism. The whole stinkin' thing could be an allegory for homosexuality, but really, I don't think anyone was thinking that far ahead.
Also, there's a character named Pogue Perry. Pogue. As in, rhymes with "vogue." My boyfriend couldn't stop laughing, and he was only half watching it to humor me.