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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Just Cause 3 in Video Games
Jul 20, 2017
Terrible dialogue (1 more)
Excruciatingly long loading screens
Into the fire, or just a flash in the pan?
I have always been a huge fan of the Just Cause games, I played the hell out of the first one on PS2 and I have great memories of it and of being blown away by the sheer scope and beauty of the game’s environment. Then the follow up was even crazier and even more fun. The explosions were bigger, the characters were more bombastic, the map was massive and the game was amazing. So, I think it’s fair to say I had been fairly excited for a while for the series’ third entry. Unfortunately, as has been the case with a number of big AAA games released in 2015, it is a disappointment. It’s not a bad game by any standard, it just fails to improve on it’s predecessors in any way. When I’m weighing up my opinion on a game, the first thing I always ask myself is, is it fun? And is Just Cause 3 a fun game? Hell yes it is. The explosions feel and look just as good as you would hope they would and the addition of the wingsuit is awesome. Flying around the map like a superhero feels truly epic, it really does give you a sense of being Godlike and it is without doubt the highlight of the game’s new mechanics. However, when you take those two things away, the wingsuit and the explosions, all that is left is a very mediocre third person shooter with mediocre graphics and a cheesy, poorly written script read by voice actors playing uninteresting stereotypes. But hey, this is a Just Cause game, it isn’t exactly known for it’s reputation of telling deep stories about the evolution of a certain character’s psyche, this is the game where you ride missiles and grapple launch into a man with a dropkick, so as long as the fundamental Just Cause functions are present, then surely that’s all that matters. Then you run into the problem with loading times. Now I don’t actually mind games with long load times all that much, within reason, but Just Cause is the type of game where it gives you so many insane mechanics that you naturally feel the need to experiment, but sometimes these experiments end up in Rico’s violent death, which in turn results in another long load screen. After four or five times of this happening within the space of a single mission, the frustration is at boiling point and the game becomes a chore and any fun you were having is quickly lost. It’s as if the game actually punishes you for trying crazy things, yet it claims to be the game that encourages insanity! Also the ways in which you die are so inconsistent that they become massively unpredictable. For example, after dying 3 or 4 times while trying to liberate a base using a madman zipline/parachute combination technique, I finally decided to just play it safe and get the liberation over and done with, so I used a missile mounted chopper. I blew up a bunch of fuel tanks etc and then a couple of SAM’s blew some holes in my chopper, most of the time the game gives you a minute to jump out of the chopper before it explodes, but sometimes at random, it will just blow up instantly and kill you dead, leaving you with another 5 minute loading screen and even more despair. Also Rico can sometimes take fall damage of up to a good few hundred feet, but sometimes a small drop from a roof to the ground of a bungalow will kill him instantly. This wouldn’t be so much of a problem if it wasn’t coupled with long ass load times, which is what really makes the process excruciating. Like I said before, I don’t mind long load screens all that much, but when they are coupled with frequent random chance instadeath, then I have a problem. There is a website that I use frequently called HowLongToBeat.com and it essentially gives you the average amount of time that it takes to beat a game’s campaign. For Just Cause the website says 15.5 hours to beat, which is about right, but I reckon that if you shorten the load times and fixed the random occurrences of instadeath, you could beat it in 11 or 12 hours. That’s 4 hours of sitting through frustrating load screens that you are never going to get back.
It really sucks actually, I wanted to love this game so much and it’s done it’s damndest to prevent me from doing so. To put it bluntly there are better open world games out there and you won’t have to wait half as long to load them up.
It really sucks actually, I wanted to love this game so much and it’s done it’s damndest to prevent me from doing so. To put it bluntly there are better open world games out there and you won’t have to wait half as long to load them up.
Alice (12 KP) rated War Dogs: Ares Rising in Books
Jul 3, 2018
<i>I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review</i>
War Dogs was so far out of my comfort zone I expected to not enjoy it. I’m pleased to say that I did enjoy this, not only was this a new style of writing for me, it was also a new author. At first I was a little sceptic of a book set on Mars (I haven’t read The Martian yet so the topic of being stuck on Mars is new!) this book was set in the perspective of Master Sergeant Michael Venn (Vinnie), a veteran Marine trained in off-world combat.
The book opens with Vinnie being back on Earth after a shit-storm of a Mars mission throws everything for a loop:
<blockquote>I’m trying to go home. As the poet said, if you don’t know where you are, you don’t know who you are. Home is where you go to get all that sorted out.</blockquote>
The chapters flick between Earth now and Mars then which is, in reality probably only about 2 weeks or so. Michael Venn has been on multiple tours of the Red Planet in his six years as a Skyrine and this is likely to be his last. There’s a good setting of Seattle in the beginning of the book where he’s just got out of the military base he touched down in a little while ago, it’s told from first person perspective and lots of memories are forth coming to the reader.
The basis of the Skyrine and their missions to Mars is from the Gurus – an alien race who made their presence known thirteen years ago when they touched down in the desert and spoke with some camel herders, it then progresses to the Gurus sneaking into the telecoms and satlinks, making a lot of money and then being “spotted” by some really clever computer folks. The Gurus then provide us humans with lots of technological advances for seemingly nothing, at least until they break the news that they have their own enemies – the Antagonists or Antags – and it’s now up the humans to go to war with the Antags.
After this little bit of background the story flicks to Mars with what has got to be one of my favourite lines in this book:
<blockquote>Physics is what kills you, but biology is what wants you dead.</blockquote>
Another favourite is:
<blockquote>…and share a silent fear that here, buckaroos, there are far too many cowboys and not nearly enough Indians.</blockquote>
The story then continues with Michael Venn’s tale of how their mission went tits up and describes various settings on Mars where they are thrown in the deep end and are at risk of dying. I didn’t quite understand why the book was called War Dogs until page 75 when it was explained to a point:
<blockquote>We’re all War Dogs, adopted by a very tall, strong ranch wife.</blockquote>
The descriptions of the characters and the settings in this book are wonderfully done and you actually feel like you’re there on Mars suffering along with Venn, Tak, Kazak and the rest of the Skyrines (a Skyrine is a Marine who is ‘sky-bound’ to Mars) while they wait out the possibility of death before Teal the ranch wife from the above quote comes to their rescue and then while they discover that their mission was compromised from the very beginning long before they actually launched.
Throughout the book there is a character called Alice who comes to Seattle on behalf of Joe (another Skyrine) who is there to help Michael come to terms with being back on Earth after the blow out of Mars. She’s a sort of psychotherapist I suppose who is there to listen to Michael’s story of what happened on Mars (which is basically how the book is written, the storytelling of what happened on Mars but through visions or flashbacks) and she eventually takes him to see Joe only they get caught by the military police. Michael ends up being taken “prisoner” as a fugitive.
This book was – though short – incredibly well written and I definitely want to read the next one which is lucky as I have that as well. This one book has made me want to read more of Greg Bear’s work and I’m on the hunt for the next series to read. As mentioned before the characters were brilliant although there is lots of unique jargon that both does and doesn’t make sense (SNKRAZ for one), the Muskie lingo (Teal’s people) is a little hard going to understand.
The chapter switches between past and present, with the past represented as memories or hallucinations/visions; ultimately War Dogs is a humorous but dramatic tale of Mars from the POV of a Marine that can’t swear. Michael Venn is a great main character with plenty of well presented secondary characters and a good ecclectic mix of plots.
I will leave you with a parting quote:
<blockquote>Ant farm stories are just like life. We have no idea why we’re here, what we’re doing alive, or even where we are, but here we are, doing our best to make do.</blockquote>
War Dogs was so far out of my comfort zone I expected to not enjoy it. I’m pleased to say that I did enjoy this, not only was this a new style of writing for me, it was also a new author. At first I was a little sceptic of a book set on Mars (I haven’t read The Martian yet so the topic of being stuck on Mars is new!) this book was set in the perspective of Master Sergeant Michael Venn (Vinnie), a veteran Marine trained in off-world combat.
The book opens with Vinnie being back on Earth after a shit-storm of a Mars mission throws everything for a loop:
<blockquote>I’m trying to go home. As the poet said, if you don’t know where you are, you don’t know who you are. Home is where you go to get all that sorted out.</blockquote>
The chapters flick between Earth now and Mars then which is, in reality probably only about 2 weeks or so. Michael Venn has been on multiple tours of the Red Planet in his six years as a Skyrine and this is likely to be his last. There’s a good setting of Seattle in the beginning of the book where he’s just got out of the military base he touched down in a little while ago, it’s told from first person perspective and lots of memories are forth coming to the reader.
The basis of the Skyrine and their missions to Mars is from the Gurus – an alien race who made their presence known thirteen years ago when they touched down in the desert and spoke with some camel herders, it then progresses to the Gurus sneaking into the telecoms and satlinks, making a lot of money and then being “spotted” by some really clever computer folks. The Gurus then provide us humans with lots of technological advances for seemingly nothing, at least until they break the news that they have their own enemies – the Antagonists or Antags – and it’s now up the humans to go to war with the Antags.
After this little bit of background the story flicks to Mars with what has got to be one of my favourite lines in this book:
<blockquote>Physics is what kills you, but biology is what wants you dead.</blockquote>
Another favourite is:
<blockquote>…and share a silent fear that here, buckaroos, there are far too many cowboys and not nearly enough Indians.</blockquote>
The story then continues with Michael Venn’s tale of how their mission went tits up and describes various settings on Mars where they are thrown in the deep end and are at risk of dying. I didn’t quite understand why the book was called War Dogs until page 75 when it was explained to a point:
<blockquote>We’re all War Dogs, adopted by a very tall, strong ranch wife.</blockquote>
The descriptions of the characters and the settings in this book are wonderfully done and you actually feel like you’re there on Mars suffering along with Venn, Tak, Kazak and the rest of the Skyrines (a Skyrine is a Marine who is ‘sky-bound’ to Mars) while they wait out the possibility of death before Teal the ranch wife from the above quote comes to their rescue and then while they discover that their mission was compromised from the very beginning long before they actually launched.
Throughout the book there is a character called Alice who comes to Seattle on behalf of Joe (another Skyrine) who is there to help Michael come to terms with being back on Earth after the blow out of Mars. She’s a sort of psychotherapist I suppose who is there to listen to Michael’s story of what happened on Mars (which is basically how the book is written, the storytelling of what happened on Mars but through visions or flashbacks) and she eventually takes him to see Joe only they get caught by the military police. Michael ends up being taken “prisoner” as a fugitive.
This book was – though short – incredibly well written and I definitely want to read the next one which is lucky as I have that as well. This one book has made me want to read more of Greg Bear’s work and I’m on the hunt for the next series to read. As mentioned before the characters were brilliant although there is lots of unique jargon that both does and doesn’t make sense (SNKRAZ for one), the Muskie lingo (Teal’s people) is a little hard going to understand.
The chapter switches between past and present, with the past represented as memories or hallucinations/visions; ultimately War Dogs is a humorous but dramatic tale of Mars from the POV of a Marine that can’t swear. Michael Venn is a great main character with plenty of well presented secondary characters and a good ecclectic mix of plots.
I will leave you with a parting quote:
<blockquote>Ant farm stories are just like life. We have no idea why we’re here, what we’re doing alive, or even where we are, but here we are, doing our best to make do.</blockquote>
Darren (1599 KP) rated The Book Of Love (2017) in Movies
Jul 25, 2019
Story: The Book of Love starts when architect Henry Herschel (Sudeikis) loses his pregnant wife Penny (Biel) in a car accident, broken he needs to take time away from work, he notices homeless teenager Millie (Williams) searching for scraps.
When Henry learns what Millie is planning, he decides to jump in and help her with the project to build a raft to sail across the Atlantic, this gives him a new lease for life, to help someone follow their dream.
Thoughts on The Book of Love
Characters – Henry Herschel is an architect on the verge of a big promotion to partner in the company, and a baby, his life however is turned upside down when his wife is killed in an accident. Filled with grief he meets teenager Millie who he helps with her project, taking his mind off his loss. Millie is a homeless teenager, well she is forced to live with her estranged Uncle and she wants to build a raft like in the journal she finds. She believes she is doing the right thing as she is dealing with own problems. Penny is Henry’s wife who even after her death gives him guiding light to help Millie. Julia is the mother-in-law wanting the best for Henry as her own way of dealing with the loss of her daughter.
Performances – Jason Sudeikis continues to show that he is delightful to watch in these drama-comedy roles, he shows enough grief and hope to make you believe that he has been the one to lose his wife. Maisie Williams is good for the most part, but she does struggle to maintain the accent through the film. Jessica Biel and Mary Steenburgen both give us good performances in the supporting roles.
Story – The story follows a grief ridden man that decides to help a teenager with her own problems in an attempt to cure his own problems only to there to help cure her problems. This does have sweet moments as we see how the lives have been turned upside down by their own tragic losses and the moments where they can help support each other, we do however deal with grief in a realistic way, being left empty in need of something to keep us going. The glaring problem is the repeating of the facts about people dying, we just don’t need this on repeat to get the point, as we know the focus on the story is, enjoy life however difficult moments have been.
Settings – The film is set-in small-town America, well the suburbs, which shows us how life can change in an instant in this world no matter who or where you are.
Scene of the Movie – Closing shot.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – Maisie Williams accent.
Final Thoughts – This is a charming movie that gets the message across well, we get to see just how grief can be processed by the people suffering from it.
Overall: One of the dreamers to see where people can make it.
When Henry learns what Millie is planning, he decides to jump in and help her with the project to build a raft to sail across the Atlantic, this gives him a new lease for life, to help someone follow their dream.
Thoughts on The Book of Love
Characters – Henry Herschel is an architect on the verge of a big promotion to partner in the company, and a baby, his life however is turned upside down when his wife is killed in an accident. Filled with grief he meets teenager Millie who he helps with her project, taking his mind off his loss. Millie is a homeless teenager, well she is forced to live with her estranged Uncle and she wants to build a raft like in the journal she finds. She believes she is doing the right thing as she is dealing with own problems. Penny is Henry’s wife who even after her death gives him guiding light to help Millie. Julia is the mother-in-law wanting the best for Henry as her own way of dealing with the loss of her daughter.
Performances – Jason Sudeikis continues to show that he is delightful to watch in these drama-comedy roles, he shows enough grief and hope to make you believe that he has been the one to lose his wife. Maisie Williams is good for the most part, but she does struggle to maintain the accent through the film. Jessica Biel and Mary Steenburgen both give us good performances in the supporting roles.
Story – The story follows a grief ridden man that decides to help a teenager with her own problems in an attempt to cure his own problems only to there to help cure her problems. This does have sweet moments as we see how the lives have been turned upside down by their own tragic losses and the moments where they can help support each other, we do however deal with grief in a realistic way, being left empty in need of something to keep us going. The glaring problem is the repeating of the facts about people dying, we just don’t need this on repeat to get the point, as we know the focus on the story is, enjoy life however difficult moments have been.
Settings – The film is set-in small-town America, well the suburbs, which shows us how life can change in an instant in this world no matter who or where you are.
Scene of the Movie – Closing shot.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – Maisie Williams accent.
Final Thoughts – This is a charming movie that gets the message across well, we get to see just how grief can be processed by the people suffering from it.
Overall: One of the dreamers to see where people can make it.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Unmatched: Cobble & Fog in Tabletop Games
Mar 19, 2021
You know when you read a rulebook and you just know you are going to love the game? This was me whilst reading the rulebook for Unmatched: Cobble & Fog. I will go into more detail why I enjoy the game near the end of my review, but just know, I loved it from the start.
In Unmatched: Cobble & Fog (which I will be calling Unmatched from here) players will be taking on the roles of either Dracula and his Sisters, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, Invisible Man, or Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in a battle to the death to claim victory in this, “Who would win in a fight”-style skirmish fighting game. The last hero standing wins, so as one of my favorite characters in literary history says, “The game is afoot.”
DISCLAIMER: Even though this review is for the Cobble & Fog version of Unmatched, the rules are the same throughout the entire Unmatched family of games. I have the original Unmatched: Battle of Legends, Vol. 1 and it plays exactly the same. I prefer the characters in this version, so that’s why I am reviewing it specifically. -T
To setup, the players will choose which side of the board they wish to play and set it on the table. Next, players will choose their hero and gather all accoutrements associated with their choice. All heroes come with a deck of 30 action cards, a mini of their figure, a character card, at least one health dial (more if their sidekicks have more than one health point), and some characters will have sidekicks that have tokens, or tokens for other reasons. The youngest player places their mini on the space with the number 1 on the board, and then the rest of the players place theirs on subsequently-numbered spaces. Players shuffle their decks of action cards and draw five cards for their first hand.
On a turn a player may take two actions from the choice of: Maneuver, Scheme, Attack. When a player chooses to Maneuver they will draw a card into their hand, then move the amount of spaces noted on their character card (typically two spaces). These movement values may be boosted by also discarding additional cards for their boost value and adding it to the number of spaces moved.
All action cards will specify which character may use it for attack, defense, or Scheme action. These Scheme cards have a lightning bolt icon on them to indicate that they are played face-up to the table, resolved, and then discarded.
Finally, if a melee-based character is positioned adjacent to an opponent, or if a ranged character is in the same zone as an opponent, they may Attack said opponent. To Attack, the active player declares which opponent will be attacked, and each player involved will choose cards from their hands to use in the battle. The attacking player will need to use attack or versatile (either used for attack or defense) cards to try to inflict damage, while the defending player will need to play defense or versatile cards in defense. The difference of the values printed on the cards will determine which character wins the battle and if health points are to be deducted from the health dial.
Many cards will have action instructions that trigger either immediately during battle or even after the battle concludes. Resolve these actions when appropriate and try to stay on your feet.
Play continues in this fashion of moving around the board to gain cards or using the cards to scheme or attack/defend. The winning player is they who survives at the end and vanquishes all foes on the board.
Components. I love everything about the components in this game. The box is great. The insert is really incredible and well thought out. The cards are great quality and the game features spectacular art all around. The minis are cool and luckily are fitted inside colored bases to remind players which mini is theirs. The sidekick tokens are excellent thick plastic and color-matched to the bases of their hero counterparts. The board is nice and double-sided, and all the rest of the cardboard components are excellent.
It’s no secret here – I absolutely love this game. I have always been a big fan of Sherlock Holmes, and this set also includes other interesting characters to play. Each one is highly unique in style and that’s one of the reasons I am so intrigued by this system. I say system because this is not the only game in the Unmatched family. As of today the Unmatched system boasts all of these as playable characters from different sets: King Arthur, Alice, Medusa, and Sinbad from the “Battle of Legends, Vol 1” set; Robert Muldoon and raptors from the “Jurassic Park, InGen vs Raptors” set; the “Robin Hood vs Bigfoot” set; Bruce Lee; and Buffy, Spike, Willow, and Angel from the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” set in addition to these here. I know more Jurassic Park sets are on the horizon, and I just cannot wait to see what other sets will be released in time.
Why do I love this game so much when I am not really a fan of moving and dueling games (I’m looking at you Mage Wars)? In these style of games I feel the movement is unnecessary as I just stand and fight. In this system, the only way to draw more cards from your deck is to enact the Maneuver action. There have been several times where I didn’t necessarily want to initiate a battle, but I saw opponents sitting with no cards in their hand. That means no defense cards can be played. Easy chunks of health taken by picking off the stationary few. Unmatched forces players to move around and I love that. Yes, there are opportunities to unleash giant blows or have double-digit health drops in battle, and that’s just delicious. Also there are times during play where mathing out exactly where to place your mini or sidekick is paramount to lay plans of ambush.
I mentioned earlier that I knew right away I would love this one. Opening the cover of the rulebook sold me immediately. As this set utilizes literary characters found in old timey Europe the game utilizes a period art style as well and I’m still fawning over it. Everything clicks for me and I can now understand why so many people were dying (not literally) to get copies of the game Unmatched is based on, Star Wars: Epic Duels. It is extremely fun and each character is interesting and unique. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a well-earned GOLDEN FEATHER AWARD! If you need a skirmish style game with excellent theme and art, you must grab this post haste. If you and I fall on the same side of the coin with our gaming preferences you NEED to have this in your collection.
I don’t know how many other sets I will be looking to add to my collection at this point, but I cannot tell you how excited I would be to pit Bigfoot against Bruce Lee. Or King Arthur against Dracula. It just feels epic and wonderful. Great job to the team at Restoration Games. This is a huge win for my collection.
In Unmatched: Cobble & Fog (which I will be calling Unmatched from here) players will be taking on the roles of either Dracula and his Sisters, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, Invisible Man, or Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in a battle to the death to claim victory in this, “Who would win in a fight”-style skirmish fighting game. The last hero standing wins, so as one of my favorite characters in literary history says, “The game is afoot.”
DISCLAIMER: Even though this review is for the Cobble & Fog version of Unmatched, the rules are the same throughout the entire Unmatched family of games. I have the original Unmatched: Battle of Legends, Vol. 1 and it plays exactly the same. I prefer the characters in this version, so that’s why I am reviewing it specifically. -T
To setup, the players will choose which side of the board they wish to play and set it on the table. Next, players will choose their hero and gather all accoutrements associated with their choice. All heroes come with a deck of 30 action cards, a mini of their figure, a character card, at least one health dial (more if their sidekicks have more than one health point), and some characters will have sidekicks that have tokens, or tokens for other reasons. The youngest player places their mini on the space with the number 1 on the board, and then the rest of the players place theirs on subsequently-numbered spaces. Players shuffle their decks of action cards and draw five cards for their first hand.
On a turn a player may take two actions from the choice of: Maneuver, Scheme, Attack. When a player chooses to Maneuver they will draw a card into their hand, then move the amount of spaces noted on their character card (typically two spaces). These movement values may be boosted by also discarding additional cards for their boost value and adding it to the number of spaces moved.
All action cards will specify which character may use it for attack, defense, or Scheme action. These Scheme cards have a lightning bolt icon on them to indicate that they are played face-up to the table, resolved, and then discarded.
Finally, if a melee-based character is positioned adjacent to an opponent, or if a ranged character is in the same zone as an opponent, they may Attack said opponent. To Attack, the active player declares which opponent will be attacked, and each player involved will choose cards from their hands to use in the battle. The attacking player will need to use attack or versatile (either used for attack or defense) cards to try to inflict damage, while the defending player will need to play defense or versatile cards in defense. The difference of the values printed on the cards will determine which character wins the battle and if health points are to be deducted from the health dial.
Many cards will have action instructions that trigger either immediately during battle or even after the battle concludes. Resolve these actions when appropriate and try to stay on your feet.
Play continues in this fashion of moving around the board to gain cards or using the cards to scheme or attack/defend. The winning player is they who survives at the end and vanquishes all foes on the board.
Components. I love everything about the components in this game. The box is great. The insert is really incredible and well thought out. The cards are great quality and the game features spectacular art all around. The minis are cool and luckily are fitted inside colored bases to remind players which mini is theirs. The sidekick tokens are excellent thick plastic and color-matched to the bases of their hero counterparts. The board is nice and double-sided, and all the rest of the cardboard components are excellent.
It’s no secret here – I absolutely love this game. I have always been a big fan of Sherlock Holmes, and this set also includes other interesting characters to play. Each one is highly unique in style and that’s one of the reasons I am so intrigued by this system. I say system because this is not the only game in the Unmatched family. As of today the Unmatched system boasts all of these as playable characters from different sets: King Arthur, Alice, Medusa, and Sinbad from the “Battle of Legends, Vol 1” set; Robert Muldoon and raptors from the “Jurassic Park, InGen vs Raptors” set; the “Robin Hood vs Bigfoot” set; Bruce Lee; and Buffy, Spike, Willow, and Angel from the “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” set in addition to these here. I know more Jurassic Park sets are on the horizon, and I just cannot wait to see what other sets will be released in time.
Why do I love this game so much when I am not really a fan of moving and dueling games (I’m looking at you Mage Wars)? In these style of games I feel the movement is unnecessary as I just stand and fight. In this system, the only way to draw more cards from your deck is to enact the Maneuver action. There have been several times where I didn’t necessarily want to initiate a battle, but I saw opponents sitting with no cards in their hand. That means no defense cards can be played. Easy chunks of health taken by picking off the stationary few. Unmatched forces players to move around and I love that. Yes, there are opportunities to unleash giant blows or have double-digit health drops in battle, and that’s just delicious. Also there are times during play where mathing out exactly where to place your mini or sidekick is paramount to lay plans of ambush.
I mentioned earlier that I knew right away I would love this one. Opening the cover of the rulebook sold me immediately. As this set utilizes literary characters found in old timey Europe the game utilizes a period art style as well and I’m still fawning over it. Everything clicks for me and I can now understand why so many people were dying (not literally) to get copies of the game Unmatched is based on, Star Wars: Epic Duels. It is extremely fun and each character is interesting and unique. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a well-earned GOLDEN FEATHER AWARD! If you need a skirmish style game with excellent theme and art, you must grab this post haste. If you and I fall on the same side of the coin with our gaming preferences you NEED to have this in your collection.
I don’t know how many other sets I will be looking to add to my collection at this point, but I cannot tell you how excited I would be to pit Bigfoot against Bruce Lee. Or King Arthur against Dracula. It just feels epic and wonderful. Great job to the team at Restoration Games. This is a huge win for my collection.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Taco Ninja Adventure in Tabletop Games
Feb 15, 2021
Hello, my name is Travis Lopez. I review board games. I am half Mexican and half European mutt. I like tacos. I like ninjas. I like adventures. That all said, I knew I had to try a game entitled Taco Ninja Adventure right away, just because I like all those things mentioned. Did this one bring the salsa, or did it leave me with a soggy bottom mess?
Taco Ninja Adventure is a card battling game for two to six players where each player will control at least one Taco Ninja. It’s a taco head with a bipedal humanoid body. And they know ninjutsu. These ninjas duke it out on the battlefield to display the greatest technical skills and the Taco Ninja team that can deliver the final bite to the opponents will be the winner.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup each team (in my case I played two player so we each controlled two Taco Ninjas) will choose their Taco Ninjas in alternating fashion and begin the game in the Battlefield (near each other on the table). The Item and Attack card decks are to be shuffled and the first three Attack card revealed to create a market row. Each player draws two Item cards to be kept secret from the opposing team and a life tracker with the cube on 30 HP. The death battle may now begin!
On a turn the player will decide whether they would like to stay on the Battlefield to fight or retreat to the Dojo to retool. If they remain on the Battlefield the active Taco Ninja will choose an opponent also on the Battlefield to target. Three Yahtzee-style dice rolls later the attacking Taco Ninja will either deliver damage to the opponent, heal themselves, or draw an Item card to be used on a later turn. Each of these results are compared against a reference card that shows successful attacks for 3 of a Kind, 4 of a Kind, Full House, and 5 of a Kind for maximum damage. Rolling two pairs yields an Item card and either 4 or 5 in a row yields healing to the active Taco Ninja.
Should the Taco Ninja wish to retreat to the Dojo they may instead draw either an Item card, one of the face-up Attack cards, or an Attack card blindly from the top of the deck. Item cards can be played on the owner’s turn or out of turn in some cases. Attack cards usually will add damage to successful attacks if its specific dice roll requirement is met.
Once a Taco Ninja is knocked out from sustaining too much damage they are sent to the Afterlife. While a Taco Ninja exists in the Afterlife they will still take turns rolling. They can roll certain results to heal their teammate still on Earth or even reincarnate if the correct result is rolled.
When one team has sent both of their Taco Ninjas to the Afterlife they are finished and the winning team may devour their remains. If these are actually cannibalistic anthropomorphic tacos.
Components. This game is mostly cards with a few cubes, five dice, and a cloth drawstring bag. The cards are all fine, the cubes of normal quality and brown and orange in color, and the dice are the small dice (maybe 12mm?). The art style throughout is obviously cartoony tacos, so it invokes a feeling of silliness that I appreciate. I do not really know what the bag is for other than to protect the cubes and dice in the box? In the rules it mentions a first-player marker, which I found none of in the box, so I used the bag as that marker. It’s a nice bag. No problems with the components from me.
I do have a slight grumble with the name of the game, however. This is a head-to-head card and dice-based deathmatch. Unfortunately the Taco Ninjas do not actually go out adventuring, just battling and dying. So I think a more apropos title could have been Taco Ninja Crunchfest or On Eating Taco Ninjas. That’s ridiculous and I am sorry for making you read this paragraph.
All in all the game is actually quite a good time. It is very light and simple to learn, but strategizing attacks and when to retreat to grab more Item and Attack cards is great. Yes, at the end of the day all turns are decided by dice rolls, so no amount of strategy should logically work fully, but it is still fun to just roll dice and demolish some tacos in the process. Please do not expect anything more than a nice little filler game here. A game night probably will not revolve around Taco Ninja Adventure, but perhaps several games using different characters or a round-robin tournament could be enjoyable.
That said, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a delicious 8 / 12. It is highly portable, very light, appetizingly fun, and has a unique theme. If you are looking for a good solid filler game that is a bit different in style and theme than most, I would have you take a look at Taco Ninja Adventure. It might just be the cardboard antipasto you have been seeking.
Taco Ninja Adventure is a card battling game for two to six players where each player will control at least one Taco Ninja. It’s a taco head with a bipedal humanoid body. And they know ninjutsu. These ninjas duke it out on the battlefield to display the greatest technical skills and the Taco Ninja team that can deliver the final bite to the opponents will be the winner.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup each team (in my case I played two player so we each controlled two Taco Ninjas) will choose their Taco Ninjas in alternating fashion and begin the game in the Battlefield (near each other on the table). The Item and Attack card decks are to be shuffled and the first three Attack card revealed to create a market row. Each player draws two Item cards to be kept secret from the opposing team and a life tracker with the cube on 30 HP. The death battle may now begin!
On a turn the player will decide whether they would like to stay on the Battlefield to fight or retreat to the Dojo to retool. If they remain on the Battlefield the active Taco Ninja will choose an opponent also on the Battlefield to target. Three Yahtzee-style dice rolls later the attacking Taco Ninja will either deliver damage to the opponent, heal themselves, or draw an Item card to be used on a later turn. Each of these results are compared against a reference card that shows successful attacks for 3 of a Kind, 4 of a Kind, Full House, and 5 of a Kind for maximum damage. Rolling two pairs yields an Item card and either 4 or 5 in a row yields healing to the active Taco Ninja.
Should the Taco Ninja wish to retreat to the Dojo they may instead draw either an Item card, one of the face-up Attack cards, or an Attack card blindly from the top of the deck. Item cards can be played on the owner’s turn or out of turn in some cases. Attack cards usually will add damage to successful attacks if its specific dice roll requirement is met.
Once a Taco Ninja is knocked out from sustaining too much damage they are sent to the Afterlife. While a Taco Ninja exists in the Afterlife they will still take turns rolling. They can roll certain results to heal their teammate still on Earth or even reincarnate if the correct result is rolled.
When one team has sent both of their Taco Ninjas to the Afterlife they are finished and the winning team may devour their remains. If these are actually cannibalistic anthropomorphic tacos.
Components. This game is mostly cards with a few cubes, five dice, and a cloth drawstring bag. The cards are all fine, the cubes of normal quality and brown and orange in color, and the dice are the small dice (maybe 12mm?). The art style throughout is obviously cartoony tacos, so it invokes a feeling of silliness that I appreciate. I do not really know what the bag is for other than to protect the cubes and dice in the box? In the rules it mentions a first-player marker, which I found none of in the box, so I used the bag as that marker. It’s a nice bag. No problems with the components from me.
I do have a slight grumble with the name of the game, however. This is a head-to-head card and dice-based deathmatch. Unfortunately the Taco Ninjas do not actually go out adventuring, just battling and dying. So I think a more apropos title could have been Taco Ninja Crunchfest or On Eating Taco Ninjas. That’s ridiculous and I am sorry for making you read this paragraph.
All in all the game is actually quite a good time. It is very light and simple to learn, but strategizing attacks and when to retreat to grab more Item and Attack cards is great. Yes, at the end of the day all turns are decided by dice rolls, so no amount of strategy should logically work fully, but it is still fun to just roll dice and demolish some tacos in the process. Please do not expect anything more than a nice little filler game here. A game night probably will not revolve around Taco Ninja Adventure, but perhaps several games using different characters or a round-robin tournament could be enjoyable.
That said, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a delicious 8 / 12. It is highly portable, very light, appetizingly fun, and has a unique theme. If you are looking for a good solid filler game that is a bit different in style and theme than most, I would have you take a look at Taco Ninja Adventure. It might just be the cardboard antipasto you have been seeking.
Hadley (567 KP) rated The Walking Dead Rise of the Governor (Book #1) in Books
May 27, 2019
Characters (1 more)
Story telling
Too many author afterthoughts (1 more)
Overusage of scientific words for the brain
I love the Walking Dead. And,personally, I love any book that has a great apocalyptic world in it, and even more so if it has some pretty good characters in it, too.
Cue Brian and Philip Blake: in The Walking Dead's 'The Rise of the Governor,' we meet two brothers who barely have anything in common; Brian is a laid back, music-loving hippie, while Philip is a hard-headed, tough guy. In the story, we follow both brothers along with two of Philip's best buddies and his daughter, Penny. The focus is on the brothers almost the entire time, and quickly, the reader finds out that, surprisingly, Brian is the oldest of the pair, but yet, Philip is the one making all of the decisions. As we continue on, the dynamic between the brothers becomes clear - we start to understand that Brian has always been the cautious one of the family, while Philip quickly learned to be a fearless leader from an early age, making this odd dynamic seem right.
Most importantly, what the two have in common is their love for Penny. If you have ever watched the TV show, The Walking Dead, then you will recognize the little girl and the tragic fate that became her. But, we never knew the backstory of how Penny was turned into a zombie, which is one of the few reasons this book series was made. Penny spends much of the time as a background character, but her part plays a very important role on the development of the man we know becomes 'the Governor.' She reacts as most children would be expected to if the world were ever to suffer from a zombie apocalypse- she withdraws, barely speaking and hardly eats. When one of Philip's longtime friends gets bit by a zombie, Penny reacts with a cool casualness that seems troubling from early on. On another note, if it wasn't for her uncle, Brian, Penny would have probably died much earlier in the book, but because of his father-like protectiveness of her, she is kept alive until the end of the book. But when it does happen, I don't think I could blame Philip for keeping his daughter as a zombie-type of pet.
During the book, 'Rise of the Governor,' the group with the Blake brothers travel to Atlanta, Georgia in hopes of finding a refugee camp to hunker down at, but instead, they find that Atlanta has practically been turned over to the walkers. It's here that they fortunately meet a trio that is held up in an apartment building- this trio is the Chalmers family, which consists of David and his two grown daughters, April and Tara. The transition between the group fighting their way through the hordes in Atlanta to meeting the Chalmers family is done perfectly to the point that is it very believable that this could actually happen in real life.
One of the few problems I did have with this book were the authors' afterthoughts: too many times throughout the book, characters would suddenly show up with a new weapon or item that the authors would literally backtrack to explain how they found it, when it could have been easily shown while the character was in the area of where it was found.
Much of the story, appropriately, shows our main group of characters killing zombies with an array of weapons and such, but Kirkman - or co-writer, Bonansinga- seem to like to show off their knowledge of the brain a little too much:
"The business end of Philip's pickaxe lands squarely in the monster's head, cracking the coconutlike shell of the old man's skull, piercing the dense, fibrous membrane of the dura mater and sinking into the gelatinous parietal lobe. " The use of scientific terms just seems like an egotistical move, one that could have been avoided if they weren't used throughout the book.
In the middle of the book, there is an odd thing that happens which the reader may connect to the story or may not, when David Chalmers is meeting his end (Chalmers was suffering from advanced lung cancer before the group meets him), gives almost a prophetic speech on his death bed. We can either take this as he was speaking about who Philip was going to become or he was talking about the apocalypse as a whole, but the reader is never really told and the dying words are never discussed among any of the characters:
" 'The devil has plans for us.'... The voice that comes out of David Chalmers is low and gravelly, an engine dieseling: 'The day of reckoning is drawing near... the Deceiver walks among us.' "
Eventually, the group is forcefully thrown out of the Chalmers' apartment building due to a horrible mistake between Philip and April. To not give too much away, here is the part where Tara tells them to go away: " He whirls around and comes face-to-face with Tara Chalmers, who holds the Ruger pistol, the muzzle raised and aimed directly at Philip. "
The story continues on with the Blake brothers, Penny and Philip's friend, Nick, as they try to find shelter once again in the dead congested Atlanta. Early on, we learn that Philip has a bad temper, and as the book continues, his temper becomes more volatile and more important to the characters and the reader. Philip's personality changes are understandable in the story, but Kirkman/Bonansinga suddenly make Brian unafraid of his brother at a point where Philip's anger is almost at its worse; this isn't believable to the readers, especially because a few pages later, Brian changes back to being scared to even speak to his brother.
Overall, the story isn't about the zombies or Penny's tragic death, but rather about Brian and Philip; how the family dynamic plays out when everything is at it's worst. Also, when you read the story, there is a point where it seems that Brian is more of a father to Penny than Philip ever was, showing also the Uncle and Niece dynamics- something that will make complete sense near the end of the book. Whether you like The Walking Dead or not, the book is well done, but I believe it would only appeal to those who like survival type stories.
Cue Brian and Philip Blake: in The Walking Dead's 'The Rise of the Governor,' we meet two brothers who barely have anything in common; Brian is a laid back, music-loving hippie, while Philip is a hard-headed, tough guy. In the story, we follow both brothers along with two of Philip's best buddies and his daughter, Penny. The focus is on the brothers almost the entire time, and quickly, the reader finds out that, surprisingly, Brian is the oldest of the pair, but yet, Philip is the one making all of the decisions. As we continue on, the dynamic between the brothers becomes clear - we start to understand that Brian has always been the cautious one of the family, while Philip quickly learned to be a fearless leader from an early age, making this odd dynamic seem right.
Most importantly, what the two have in common is their love for Penny. If you have ever watched the TV show, The Walking Dead, then you will recognize the little girl and the tragic fate that became her. But, we never knew the backstory of how Penny was turned into a zombie, which is one of the few reasons this book series was made. Penny spends much of the time as a background character, but her part plays a very important role on the development of the man we know becomes 'the Governor.' She reacts as most children would be expected to if the world were ever to suffer from a zombie apocalypse- she withdraws, barely speaking and hardly eats. When one of Philip's longtime friends gets bit by a zombie, Penny reacts with a cool casualness that seems troubling from early on. On another note, if it wasn't for her uncle, Brian, Penny would have probably died much earlier in the book, but because of his father-like protectiveness of her, she is kept alive until the end of the book. But when it does happen, I don't think I could blame Philip for keeping his daughter as a zombie-type of pet.
During the book, 'Rise of the Governor,' the group with the Blake brothers travel to Atlanta, Georgia in hopes of finding a refugee camp to hunker down at, but instead, they find that Atlanta has practically been turned over to the walkers. It's here that they fortunately meet a trio that is held up in an apartment building- this trio is the Chalmers family, which consists of David and his two grown daughters, April and Tara. The transition between the group fighting their way through the hordes in Atlanta to meeting the Chalmers family is done perfectly to the point that is it very believable that this could actually happen in real life.
One of the few problems I did have with this book were the authors' afterthoughts: too many times throughout the book, characters would suddenly show up with a new weapon or item that the authors would literally backtrack to explain how they found it, when it could have been easily shown while the character was in the area of where it was found.
Much of the story, appropriately, shows our main group of characters killing zombies with an array of weapons and such, but Kirkman - or co-writer, Bonansinga- seem to like to show off their knowledge of the brain a little too much:
"The business end of Philip's pickaxe lands squarely in the monster's head, cracking the coconutlike shell of the old man's skull, piercing the dense, fibrous membrane of the dura mater and sinking into the gelatinous parietal lobe. " The use of scientific terms just seems like an egotistical move, one that could have been avoided if they weren't used throughout the book.
In the middle of the book, there is an odd thing that happens which the reader may connect to the story or may not, when David Chalmers is meeting his end (Chalmers was suffering from advanced lung cancer before the group meets him), gives almost a prophetic speech on his death bed. We can either take this as he was speaking about who Philip was going to become or he was talking about the apocalypse as a whole, but the reader is never really told and the dying words are never discussed among any of the characters:
" 'The devil has plans for us.'... The voice that comes out of David Chalmers is low and gravelly, an engine dieseling: 'The day of reckoning is drawing near... the Deceiver walks among us.' "
Eventually, the group is forcefully thrown out of the Chalmers' apartment building due to a horrible mistake between Philip and April. To not give too much away, here is the part where Tara tells them to go away: " He whirls around and comes face-to-face with Tara Chalmers, who holds the Ruger pistol, the muzzle raised and aimed directly at Philip. "
The story continues on with the Blake brothers, Penny and Philip's friend, Nick, as they try to find shelter once again in the dead congested Atlanta. Early on, we learn that Philip has a bad temper, and as the book continues, his temper becomes more volatile and more important to the characters and the reader. Philip's personality changes are understandable in the story, but Kirkman/Bonansinga suddenly make Brian unafraid of his brother at a point where Philip's anger is almost at its worse; this isn't believable to the readers, especially because a few pages later, Brian changes back to being scared to even speak to his brother.
Overall, the story isn't about the zombies or Penny's tragic death, but rather about Brian and Philip; how the family dynamic plays out when everything is at it's worst. Also, when you read the story, there is a point where it seems that Brian is more of a father to Penny than Philip ever was, showing also the Uncle and Niece dynamics- something that will make complete sense near the end of the book. Whether you like The Walking Dead or not, the book is well done, but I believe it would only appeal to those who like survival type stories.
A Bibliophagist (113 KP) rated Throne of Glass in Books
Feb 5, 2020 (Updated Feb 5, 2020)
Good start (2 more)
Good finish
Intial character introductions
Formulaic (1 more)
Celeana never does anything she says she can do
Something special ruined by the YA formula
This is another tough one to review, primarily because it started so good for me, then just ended as a whimper.
First of all, this was one of my "force myself out of my norm" picks. I forced myself to pick two popular books, that didn't interest me, and give them a chance. This was the biggest "no interest" pick. The cover alone is just so bad I was embarrassed to be buying it at the bookstore by the art school I work at. What if one of my Illustration students see, will I be deemed unworthy to teach them if I buy a book so ugly and anatomically incorrect? Like seriously, why is her torso so long. Is she just insanely tall? Is she hunched or does she have no neck? It's just... awful.
Also, it's a genre I don't gel well with, fantasy just isn't my jam, I get so mad that SciFi is always lumped in with Fantasy. So, the perfect choice I suppose.
When I first started, I texted my partner and told him "holy crap, I actually am enjoying this". I was shocked, surprised. So far the YA darling of a book wasn't stereotypically YA. The main character was deep and interesting and had a thick backstory. Yea they've already introduced two perfectly perfect love interested for her, but whatever, this is actually interesting.
The book follows the acclaimed assassin, Calaena, young, utterly gorgeous and snarky, deadly. In theory a textbook YA heroine. But she is far from a Mary Sue (in the beginning) her backstory is interesting and rich. She's hardened by a year in prison death labor camp. A camp she is offered freedom from if she accepts the Prince's offer; his father wants a "champion" (aka a dubious person to assassinate and otherwise do his dirty work) and she is the Prince's pick. Should she accept, she'll go against other noble's picks and participate in a competition proving their worth. The winner gets freedom and serves as the champion for X amount of years. Losers go back to whatever prison or hole they crawled out of. So while Celeana doesn't much want to be a lackey to some Princeling or King, she doesn't want to go back to the death labor camp either.
So if you can't tell already, enter love interest #1, the sassy, broody Prince Dorian. Perfect in all ways, except for birthright. Could someone like Celeana ever love him? Dun Dun DUnnnnn. Also enter love interest 2, captain of the guard Chaol, the prince's childhood friend, quiet, introverted, job-focused. Doesn't trust her at all, but could she break him down? What will happen if two best friends fall for the same saucy assassin? DUN DUN DUNNNN
So obviously, she accepts, and is taken to the great glass palace to await the competition, where we have a veritable Beauty and the Beast situation, she's provided lavish accommodation, beautiful dresses, and sadly starts to become a Mary Sue. But not quite yet, first, we get some actually really interesting story, hints at the world we're in, going through a once magical forest, with something in the night leaving flowers at the foot of Celeana's bed, hinting at perhaps her lineage being more magical than we think. We also get introduced to the competition, a lineup of stereotypical gruff dudes, with the bad guy being so obvious he might as well as a spotlight on him (unfortunately this book doesn't really have a twist). Also, enter love interest 3? I utilize the question mark because this one isn't really persued, but feels like it's meant to be something. A handsome, young, way too nice unsavory that she aligns herself with. No one knows who she is, and she goes under a pseudonym while in the palace, hoping to make people underestimate her. The first parts of the competition are interesting, the book is actually conscious of how out of shape she'd be, and takes pains to be detailed (sometimes overly detailed, like the page about her period, I'm in no means ashamed of my period, but the page literally did nothing but further the stereotype that we are completely immobile and need a day off while on it. I wish the author impowered Celeana by having her be in pain, but still be a badass).
As the competition progresses, however, competitors begin dying in gruesome ways, that aren't related to the competition. Concern rises, and whispers of the old magic are everywhere. Celeana now needs to survive this competition, survive whatever is killing her competitors, and solve the mystery happening in the castle. Oh and of course, figure out how to go to that ball and which boy she wants.
Unfortunately, after the first competition-related thing, this book started going downhill for me. Gone was this interest main character, and replaced was a stereotypical Mary Sue that forgets she's an assassin a lot. She rarely does anything Assasin like actually, beyond some internal dialogue in which she thinks about assasin things. It goes from describing the competition to suddenly being like "there were two more trials, Celeana rocked them" skipping ahead a glossing over the competition entirely, choosing instead to focus on the growing tension between her and the two boys, and dangling the very obvious bad guy in front of us as if we're going to be ever so surprised when we find out it's exactly who we thought it was. I want those trials, I want to know what happened and see her thoughts, something to remind me she's an assassin and not a giggling school girl more than ready for court life. Having stereotypical scenes of playing Billiards and Dorian holding her to show her how to do it. Don't even get me started on the Billiards, a fantasy book, using freak in billiards, make up a game for goodness sake, but to utilize a surprisingly modern game in a high fantasy setting made me laugh out loud for the wrong reasons. She gets a puppy, that hates everyone but her, befriends a badass princess (the most interesting thing in this book) and fights off some baddies. Too bad most of the focus was on the rushed, completely chemistry-free relationship between her and Dorian, they see each other like 4 times and are willing to give everything up for each other, it's painful. Honestly, even when I let my mind lapse into YA mode and allow myself to enjoy a fun YA romance, this is not how to do it. Also, Team Chaol all the way.
So the competition takes a considerable step back, and so does my interest. I would argue that the concept in this story is solid and interesting, but executed poorly, which is odd because the beginning proves to be the author can write well, it just feels like she second-guessed herself and decided to stop doing an actually interesting story and instead focus on being stereotypically YA. But there are little gems in here, an interesting world is hinted at, likable and interesting characters are glimpsed in the beginning before she lost interest in developing them. An undercurrent of well thought out mystery and magic. But all of these things took a backseat to fulfil the YA formula instead. I'm going to read the next book just to see if this world becomes more of the focus, but if it doesn't I'll have to stop, this series is just way too long to deal with the same formula over and over.
She almost got me, she was so close, I just wish this book had been consistent and focused on the plot. I wish she had let Celeana be the strong character she implied in the beginning rather than a stereotypical YA girl. I get she was fulfilling the life she never had, but in a situation where she needed to really be HER to get her freedom, it just doesn't feel like the appropriate time for wish fulfillment I wish, if there had to be romance, it had more oomf, made me feel things, made me care. Unfortunately, it didn't have these things, so this book was a bit of a flop for me. So I'm hoping, she'll prove me wrong in the second one, and let the story I see she's made and spent loving time on shine, rather than hide it underneath the guaranteed to sell formula plaguing young adult books.
First of all, this was one of my "force myself out of my norm" picks. I forced myself to pick two popular books, that didn't interest me, and give them a chance. This was the biggest "no interest" pick. The cover alone is just so bad I was embarrassed to be buying it at the bookstore by the art school I work at. What if one of my Illustration students see, will I be deemed unworthy to teach them if I buy a book so ugly and anatomically incorrect? Like seriously, why is her torso so long. Is she just insanely tall? Is she hunched or does she have no neck? It's just... awful.
Also, it's a genre I don't gel well with, fantasy just isn't my jam, I get so mad that SciFi is always lumped in with Fantasy. So, the perfect choice I suppose.
When I first started, I texted my partner and told him "holy crap, I actually am enjoying this". I was shocked, surprised. So far the YA darling of a book wasn't stereotypically YA. The main character was deep and interesting and had a thick backstory. Yea they've already introduced two perfectly perfect love interested for her, but whatever, this is actually interesting.
The book follows the acclaimed assassin, Calaena, young, utterly gorgeous and snarky, deadly. In theory a textbook YA heroine. But she is far from a Mary Sue (in the beginning) her backstory is interesting and rich. She's hardened by a year in prison death labor camp. A camp she is offered freedom from if she accepts the Prince's offer; his father wants a "champion" (aka a dubious person to assassinate and otherwise do his dirty work) and she is the Prince's pick. Should she accept, she'll go against other noble's picks and participate in a competition proving their worth. The winner gets freedom and serves as the champion for X amount of years. Losers go back to whatever prison or hole they crawled out of. So while Celeana doesn't much want to be a lackey to some Princeling or King, she doesn't want to go back to the death labor camp either.
So if you can't tell already, enter love interest #1, the sassy, broody Prince Dorian. Perfect in all ways, except for birthright. Could someone like Celeana ever love him? Dun Dun DUnnnnn. Also enter love interest 2, captain of the guard Chaol, the prince's childhood friend, quiet, introverted, job-focused. Doesn't trust her at all, but could she break him down? What will happen if two best friends fall for the same saucy assassin? DUN DUN DUNNNN
So obviously, she accepts, and is taken to the great glass palace to await the competition, where we have a veritable Beauty and the Beast situation, she's provided lavish accommodation, beautiful dresses, and sadly starts to become a Mary Sue. But not quite yet, first, we get some actually really interesting story, hints at the world we're in, going through a once magical forest, with something in the night leaving flowers at the foot of Celeana's bed, hinting at perhaps her lineage being more magical than we think. We also get introduced to the competition, a lineup of stereotypical gruff dudes, with the bad guy being so obvious he might as well as a spotlight on him (unfortunately this book doesn't really have a twist). Also, enter love interest 3? I utilize the question mark because this one isn't really persued, but feels like it's meant to be something. A handsome, young, way too nice unsavory that she aligns herself with. No one knows who she is, and she goes under a pseudonym while in the palace, hoping to make people underestimate her. The first parts of the competition are interesting, the book is actually conscious of how out of shape she'd be, and takes pains to be detailed (sometimes overly detailed, like the page about her period, I'm in no means ashamed of my period, but the page literally did nothing but further the stereotype that we are completely immobile and need a day off while on it. I wish the author impowered Celeana by having her be in pain, but still be a badass).
As the competition progresses, however, competitors begin dying in gruesome ways, that aren't related to the competition. Concern rises, and whispers of the old magic are everywhere. Celeana now needs to survive this competition, survive whatever is killing her competitors, and solve the mystery happening in the castle. Oh and of course, figure out how to go to that ball and which boy she wants.
Unfortunately, after the first competition-related thing, this book started going downhill for me. Gone was this interest main character, and replaced was a stereotypical Mary Sue that forgets she's an assassin a lot. She rarely does anything Assasin like actually, beyond some internal dialogue in which she thinks about assasin things. It goes from describing the competition to suddenly being like "there were two more trials, Celeana rocked them" skipping ahead a glossing over the competition entirely, choosing instead to focus on the growing tension between her and the two boys, and dangling the very obvious bad guy in front of us as if we're going to be ever so surprised when we find out it's exactly who we thought it was. I want those trials, I want to know what happened and see her thoughts, something to remind me she's an assassin and not a giggling school girl more than ready for court life. Having stereotypical scenes of playing Billiards and Dorian holding her to show her how to do it. Don't even get me started on the Billiards, a fantasy book, using freak in billiards, make up a game for goodness sake, but to utilize a surprisingly modern game in a high fantasy setting made me laugh out loud for the wrong reasons. She gets a puppy, that hates everyone but her, befriends a badass princess (the most interesting thing in this book) and fights off some baddies. Too bad most of the focus was on the rushed, completely chemistry-free relationship between her and Dorian, they see each other like 4 times and are willing to give everything up for each other, it's painful. Honestly, even when I let my mind lapse into YA mode and allow myself to enjoy a fun YA romance, this is not how to do it. Also, Team Chaol all the way.
So the competition takes a considerable step back, and so does my interest. I would argue that the concept in this story is solid and interesting, but executed poorly, which is odd because the beginning proves to be the author can write well, it just feels like she second-guessed herself and decided to stop doing an actually interesting story and instead focus on being stereotypically YA. But there are little gems in here, an interesting world is hinted at, likable and interesting characters are glimpsed in the beginning before she lost interest in developing them. An undercurrent of well thought out mystery and magic. But all of these things took a backseat to fulfil the YA formula instead. I'm going to read the next book just to see if this world becomes more of the focus, but if it doesn't I'll have to stop, this series is just way too long to deal with the same formula over and over.
She almost got me, she was so close, I just wish this book had been consistent and focused on the plot. I wish she had let Celeana be the strong character she implied in the beginning rather than a stereotypical YA girl. I get she was fulfilling the life she never had, but in a situation where she needed to really be HER to get her freedom, it just doesn't feel like the appropriate time for wish fulfillment I wish, if there had to be romance, it had more oomf, made me feel things, made me care. Unfortunately, it didn't have these things, so this book was a bit of a flop for me. So I'm hoping, she'll prove me wrong in the second one, and let the story I see she's made and spent loving time on shine, rather than hide it underneath the guaranteed to sell formula plaguing young adult books.
Survive - Wilderness Survival
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Wilderness survival simulation game. Travel to safety. NOTICE: Version 319 has bug that can...
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Dolittle (2020) in Movies
Feb 23, 2020
A complete mess, but kids will probably love it.
With the words of Mark Kermode's review ringing in my ears ("It's shockingly poor... and that's the same in any language") I was bracing myself when I went to see this latest incarnation of Hugh Lofting's famous animal-chatting character. And I have to agree that it is a shocking mess of a film, given $175 million was poured into this thing. But, and I say this cautiously without first-hand empirical evidence, I *think* this is a movie that kids in the 6 to 10 age range might fall in love with.
Doctor Doolittle (Robert Downey Jnr) - famed animal doctor, with the unique ability to communicate with any animal - is now holed up in his animal sanctuary, a recluse. His beloved wife - adventurer Lily - was lost at sea (in a cartoon sequence that could have just used the same clip from "Frozen"). He's lost the will to practice; and almost lost the will to live.
Impinging on his morose life come two humans: Tommy Stubbings (Harry Collett), a reluctant hunter with a wounded squirrel, and Lady Rose (Carmel Laniado), daughter of the Queen of England. (We'll quietly ignore the coincidence that, after what looks like several years of mourning, these two independently pitch up at Chez Doolittle within ten minutes of each other!).
For the Queen (the omnipresent Jessie Buckley) is dying, and noone (other than us viewers, let in on the deal) suspect foul play might be at work in the form of Lord Thomas Badgley (the ever-reliable Jim Broadbent) and the Queen's old leech-loving doctor Blair Müdfly (a moustache-twiddling Michael Sheen).
Doolittle must engage in a perilous journey to find the only cure that will save both the Queen and his animal sanctuary - the fruit of the tree on a missing island that his long lost love was searching for.
Let's start with the most obvious point first up. Robert Downey Jnr's Welsh accent is quite the most terrible, most preposterous, most unintelligible, most offensive (to the Welsh) attempt at an accent in a mainstream film in movie history. And that's really saying something when you have Laurence Olivier's Jewish father from "The Jazz Singer" and Russell Crowe's English cum Irish cum Scottish cum Yugoslavian "Robin Hood" in the list. Why? Just why? Was it to distance this version from Rex Harrison's? (Since most younger movie goers will be going "Rex who?" at this point, this seems unlikely). It's a wholly curious decision.
It turns RDj's presence in the movie from being an asset to a liability.
The movie has had a tortuous history. Filmed in 2018 at enormous expense, the film completely bombed at test screenings so they brought in more script writers to make it funnier and did extensive additional filming.
I actually disagree with the general view that the film is unfunny. For there are a few points in the movie where I laughed out loud. A fly's miraculous, if temporary, escape was one such moment. The duck laying an egg in fright, another.
However, these seem to stand out starkly in isolation as 'the funny bits they inserted'. Much of the rest of the movie's comedy falls painfully flat.
In terms of the acting, there are the obvious visual talents on show of Michael Sheen (doing a great English accent for a Welshman.... #irony), Jim Broadbent, Jessie Buckley, Joanna Page (blink and you'll miss her) and Antonio Banderas, as the swashbuckling pirate king cum father-in-law.
But the end titles are an amazing array of "Ah!" moments as the vocal performances are revealed: Emma Thompson as the parrot; Rami Malek as the gorilla; John Cena as the polar bear; Kumail Nanjiani at the ostrich; Octavia Spencer at the duck; Tom Holland as the dog; Selena Gomez as the giraffe; Marion Cotillade as the fox, Frances de la Tour as a flatulent dragon and Ralph Fiennes as an evil tiger with mummy issues. It's a gift for future contestants on "Pointless"!
There are a lot of poe-faced critics throwing brick-bats at this movie, and to a degree it's deserved. They lavished $175 million on it, and it looked like it was going to be a thumping loss. (However, against all the odds, at the time of writing it has grossed north of $184 million. And it only opened yesterday in China. So although not stellar in the world of blockbuster movies it's not going to be a studio-killer like "Heaven's Gate").
And I suspect there's a good reason for that latent salvation. I think kids are loving this movie, driving repeat viewings and unexpected word of mouth. It is certainly a family friendly experience. There are no truly terrifying scenes that will haunt young children. A dragon-induced death, not seen on screen, is - notwithstanding the intro Frozen-esque cartoon sequence - the only obvious one in the movie and is (as above) played for laughs. There are fantastical sets and landscapes. Performing whales. A happy-ending (albeit not the one I was cynically expecting). And an extended dragon-farting scene, and what kids are not going to love that!!
Directed by Stephen Gaghan ("Syriana", but better known as a writer than a director) it's a jumbled messy bear of a movie but is in no way an unpleasant watch. I would take a grandkid along to watch this again. It even has some nuggets of gold hidden within its matted coat.
As this is primarily one for the kids, I'm giving the movie two ratings: 4/10 for adults and 8/10 for kids... the Smashbomb rating is the mean of these.
(For the full graphical review, please check out the review on One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/02/22/doolittle-2019/ . Thanks).
Doctor Doolittle (Robert Downey Jnr) - famed animal doctor, with the unique ability to communicate with any animal - is now holed up in his animal sanctuary, a recluse. His beloved wife - adventurer Lily - was lost at sea (in a cartoon sequence that could have just used the same clip from "Frozen"). He's lost the will to practice; and almost lost the will to live.
Impinging on his morose life come two humans: Tommy Stubbings (Harry Collett), a reluctant hunter with a wounded squirrel, and Lady Rose (Carmel Laniado), daughter of the Queen of England. (We'll quietly ignore the coincidence that, after what looks like several years of mourning, these two independently pitch up at Chez Doolittle within ten minutes of each other!).
For the Queen (the omnipresent Jessie Buckley) is dying, and noone (other than us viewers, let in on the deal) suspect foul play might be at work in the form of Lord Thomas Badgley (the ever-reliable Jim Broadbent) and the Queen's old leech-loving doctor Blair Müdfly (a moustache-twiddling Michael Sheen).
Doolittle must engage in a perilous journey to find the only cure that will save both the Queen and his animal sanctuary - the fruit of the tree on a missing island that his long lost love was searching for.
Let's start with the most obvious point first up. Robert Downey Jnr's Welsh accent is quite the most terrible, most preposterous, most unintelligible, most offensive (to the Welsh) attempt at an accent in a mainstream film in movie history. And that's really saying something when you have Laurence Olivier's Jewish father from "The Jazz Singer" and Russell Crowe's English cum Irish cum Scottish cum Yugoslavian "Robin Hood" in the list. Why? Just why? Was it to distance this version from Rex Harrison's? (Since most younger movie goers will be going "Rex who?" at this point, this seems unlikely). It's a wholly curious decision.
It turns RDj's presence in the movie from being an asset to a liability.
The movie has had a tortuous history. Filmed in 2018 at enormous expense, the film completely bombed at test screenings so they brought in more script writers to make it funnier and did extensive additional filming.
I actually disagree with the general view that the film is unfunny. For there are a few points in the movie where I laughed out loud. A fly's miraculous, if temporary, escape was one such moment. The duck laying an egg in fright, another.
However, these seem to stand out starkly in isolation as 'the funny bits they inserted'. Much of the rest of the movie's comedy falls painfully flat.
In terms of the acting, there are the obvious visual talents on show of Michael Sheen (doing a great English accent for a Welshman.... #irony), Jim Broadbent, Jessie Buckley, Joanna Page (blink and you'll miss her) and Antonio Banderas, as the swashbuckling pirate king cum father-in-law.
But the end titles are an amazing array of "Ah!" moments as the vocal performances are revealed: Emma Thompson as the parrot; Rami Malek as the gorilla; John Cena as the polar bear; Kumail Nanjiani at the ostrich; Octavia Spencer at the duck; Tom Holland as the dog; Selena Gomez as the giraffe; Marion Cotillade as the fox, Frances de la Tour as a flatulent dragon and Ralph Fiennes as an evil tiger with mummy issues. It's a gift for future contestants on "Pointless"!
There are a lot of poe-faced critics throwing brick-bats at this movie, and to a degree it's deserved. They lavished $175 million on it, and it looked like it was going to be a thumping loss. (However, against all the odds, at the time of writing it has grossed north of $184 million. And it only opened yesterday in China. So although not stellar in the world of blockbuster movies it's not going to be a studio-killer like "Heaven's Gate").
And I suspect there's a good reason for that latent salvation. I think kids are loving this movie, driving repeat viewings and unexpected word of mouth. It is certainly a family friendly experience. There are no truly terrifying scenes that will haunt young children. A dragon-induced death, not seen on screen, is - notwithstanding the intro Frozen-esque cartoon sequence - the only obvious one in the movie and is (as above) played for laughs. There are fantastical sets and landscapes. Performing whales. A happy-ending (albeit not the one I was cynically expecting). And an extended dragon-farting scene, and what kids are not going to love that!!
Directed by Stephen Gaghan ("Syriana", but better known as a writer than a director) it's a jumbled messy bear of a movie but is in no way an unpleasant watch. I would take a grandkid along to watch this again. It even has some nuggets of gold hidden within its matted coat.
As this is primarily one for the kids, I'm giving the movie two ratings: 4/10 for adults and 8/10 for kids... the Smashbomb rating is the mean of these.
(For the full graphical review, please check out the review on One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/02/22/doolittle-2019/ . Thanks).
Lottie disney bookworm (1056 KP) rated A Whole New World in Books
Aug 16, 2019
Review by Disney Bookworm
“What if Aladdin had never found the lamp?”
OK so I am going to start off this review with a really pedantic comment and I know I am being petty and that this will almost definitely end in a rant but… he does find the lamp! Of course he does! Aladdin is the diamond in the rough! He is literally the only one who can find the lamp. If he didn’t find the lamp nothing would happen: Jasmine would probably grow old with her tiger; Jafar would carry on hypnotising the Sultan; Aladdin would probably wind up arrested and this would be the shortest twisted tale in history.
*Ahem*
So, Aladdin finds the lamp. Let’s move past it, because if you have read my other reviews, you will know I love Liz Braswell: her twisted tales always wind up being my favourites as she always brings something completely unexpected to the novels. In the circumstances, I can forgive the tagline.
This review of “A Whole New World” comes at a time where Aladdin is everywhere: the live action movie was released in the UK just over a month ago and, I for one, loved it! With this in mind, I just had to re-read this twisted tale and shout about the wholly different Agrabah that it presents to the reader.
Braswell’s Agrabah is a raw, dirty, troubled cousin of the Agrabah we all know and love. I struggle to comprehend exactly how the movies did it, because both showed starving children, but we found ourselves simultaneously accepting and glossing over the poverty of the street rats. We have no such option in “A Whole New World”.
From starving infants; old men shovelling camel dung for coins; to Aladdin’s own mother dying of a wasting disease: this novel takes no prisoners in the Quarter of the Street Rats. However, those in the Palace remain blind to the struggles of the poor, with the Sultan playing with his golden toys whilst some of his citizens have no food or clean water.
The plight of the Agrabah people creates an undercurrent of resentment that runs all the way through Aladdin and Jasmine’s story. It is also a clear indicator of the identity of this novel: Braswell has taken all the romanticism of the familiar story and buried it in her own cave of wonders, leaving behind a highly political but incredibly powerful story.
The twisted tale starts off on a similar vein to both movies, boy meets girl, boy rescues girl from hand severing businessman, boy winds up arrested and transported to a creepy cave where he finds an old lamp, boy’s monkey can’t keep his hands to himself and boy is left clinging on for his life at the entrance to said creepy cave. However, in this version, when Jafar steps on Aladdin’s fingers to prevent his escape, Abu doesn’t grab the lamp! How will Aladdin escape now?
As is to be expected from Braswell’s novels, the characters are phenomenal. Aladdin is the proud, eternal optimist that we recognise but with a strong ethical viewpoint that is introduced by the inclusion of his mother as a character.
Creating a new character, particularly Aladdin’s mother, could simply be a tactic to give some history to the charming thief. However, Braswell uses the matriarch to add depth to Aladdin: she tells him “don’t let how poor you are, decide who you are…you can choose to be something more”.
This is ultimately the lesson the genie would teach Aladdin if they were to meet and so I think it is very clever of Braswell to keep this element of Aladdin’s character. It allows us to witness Aladdin’s pride and strength through these instilled virtues: he has even lost friends over his views of when he considers it acceptable to be a thief.
Although I wouldn’t consider the genie a main character in this tale (he doesn’t get as much airtime as in the films): he remains a funny and flippant sidekick for the most part. However, in keeping with the tone of “A Whole New World”, he does use this humour to provoke our thoughts. The genie and Braswell divulge that there was once a whole race of djinn who have since died out. The genie has lost his home, his wife and his freedom and so, he rightly asks, who would stay sane under those conditions?
Jafar; Mr dark and twisty himself, is a whole other level of evil in this twisted tale. He does present some of the characteristics of the movie villain: power mad, desperate for everyone to love him and all that jazz; however, he also tortures the genie and plans to break the laws of magic in order to create an army of the dead. It’s all very game of thrones all of a sudden!
I know what you’re thinking: what about Jasmine? Surely, she isn’t all dark and twisty as well? The girl looks good in turquoise baggy trousers for goodness sakes!
Jasmine begins her journey as the typical naïve, sheltered princess she is always portrayed as: possessing no knowledge of the price of food or the struggles of her own people. However, Braswell manages to make even the live-action Jasmine appear over-dramatic and petty: she isn’t resisting marriage just because she doesn’t fancy random foreign prince number 3; she is resisting becoming a “baby making machine” and signing herself up to an early grave.
“A princess among men”, Jasmine and the reader soon realise that she has to step forward and become the hero of this tale. This is no small ask for someone who has never led an army or witnessed death before. Nonetheless, Jasmine is clearly up to the task: this is no weak princess trapped in an hourglass of sand, waiting to be rescued by a man. This is a Sultana!
The story of Aladdin typically conjures up images of love, magic carpets and romantic duets. Liz Braswell’s story of Agrabah does orbit around love, how could it not? However, “A Whole New World” explores the shades of grey in life: Street rats are not always bad, Princesses are not always good and magic is not always the solution. This is not a tale of love; it is a tale of finding strength in unlikely places; it is a tale that teaches us you don’t need magic to have a happy ending.
OK so I am going to start off this review with a really pedantic comment and I know I am being petty and that this will almost definitely end in a rant but… he does find the lamp! Of course he does! Aladdin is the diamond in the rough! He is literally the only one who can find the lamp. If he didn’t find the lamp nothing would happen: Jasmine would probably grow old with her tiger; Jafar would carry on hypnotising the Sultan; Aladdin would probably wind up arrested and this would be the shortest twisted tale in history.
*Ahem*
So, Aladdin finds the lamp. Let’s move past it, because if you have read my other reviews, you will know I love Liz Braswell: her twisted tales always wind up being my favourites as she always brings something completely unexpected to the novels. In the circumstances, I can forgive the tagline.
This review of “A Whole New World” comes at a time where Aladdin is everywhere: the live action movie was released in the UK just over a month ago and, I for one, loved it! With this in mind, I just had to re-read this twisted tale and shout about the wholly different Agrabah that it presents to the reader.
Braswell’s Agrabah is a raw, dirty, troubled cousin of the Agrabah we all know and love. I struggle to comprehend exactly how the movies did it, because both showed starving children, but we found ourselves simultaneously accepting and glossing over the poverty of the street rats. We have no such option in “A Whole New World”.
From starving infants; old men shovelling camel dung for coins; to Aladdin’s own mother dying of a wasting disease: this novel takes no prisoners in the Quarter of the Street Rats. However, those in the Palace remain blind to the struggles of the poor, with the Sultan playing with his golden toys whilst some of his citizens have no food or clean water.
The plight of the Agrabah people creates an undercurrent of resentment that runs all the way through Aladdin and Jasmine’s story. It is also a clear indicator of the identity of this novel: Braswell has taken all the romanticism of the familiar story and buried it in her own cave of wonders, leaving behind a highly political but incredibly powerful story.
The twisted tale starts off on a similar vein to both movies, boy meets girl, boy rescues girl from hand severing businessman, boy winds up arrested and transported to a creepy cave where he finds an old lamp, boy’s monkey can’t keep his hands to himself and boy is left clinging on for his life at the entrance to said creepy cave. However, in this version, when Jafar steps on Aladdin’s fingers to prevent his escape, Abu doesn’t grab the lamp! How will Aladdin escape now?
As is to be expected from Braswell’s novels, the characters are phenomenal. Aladdin is the proud, eternal optimist that we recognise but with a strong ethical viewpoint that is introduced by the inclusion of his mother as a character.
Creating a new character, particularly Aladdin’s mother, could simply be a tactic to give some history to the charming thief. However, Braswell uses the matriarch to add depth to Aladdin: she tells him “don’t let how poor you are, decide who you are…you can choose to be something more”.
This is ultimately the lesson the genie would teach Aladdin if they were to meet and so I think it is very clever of Braswell to keep this element of Aladdin’s character. It allows us to witness Aladdin’s pride and strength through these instilled virtues: he has even lost friends over his views of when he considers it acceptable to be a thief.
Although I wouldn’t consider the genie a main character in this tale (he doesn’t get as much airtime as in the films): he remains a funny and flippant sidekick for the most part. However, in keeping with the tone of “A Whole New World”, he does use this humour to provoke our thoughts. The genie and Braswell divulge that there was once a whole race of djinn who have since died out. The genie has lost his home, his wife and his freedom and so, he rightly asks, who would stay sane under those conditions?
Jafar; Mr dark and twisty himself, is a whole other level of evil in this twisted tale. He does present some of the characteristics of the movie villain: power mad, desperate for everyone to love him and all that jazz; however, he also tortures the genie and plans to break the laws of magic in order to create an army of the dead. It’s all very game of thrones all of a sudden!
I know what you’re thinking: what about Jasmine? Surely, she isn’t all dark and twisty as well? The girl looks good in turquoise baggy trousers for goodness sakes!
Jasmine begins her journey as the typical naïve, sheltered princess she is always portrayed as: possessing no knowledge of the price of food or the struggles of her own people. However, Braswell manages to make even the live-action Jasmine appear over-dramatic and petty: she isn’t resisting marriage just because she doesn’t fancy random foreign prince number 3; she is resisting becoming a “baby making machine” and signing herself up to an early grave.
“A princess among men”, Jasmine and the reader soon realise that she has to step forward and become the hero of this tale. This is no small ask for someone who has never led an army or witnessed death before. Nonetheless, Jasmine is clearly up to the task: this is no weak princess trapped in an hourglass of sand, waiting to be rescued by a man. This is a Sultana!
The story of Aladdin typically conjures up images of love, magic carpets and romantic duets. Liz Braswell’s story of Agrabah does orbit around love, how could it not? However, “A Whole New World” explores the shades of grey in life: Street rats are not always bad, Princesses are not always good and magic is not always the solution. This is not a tale of love; it is a tale of finding strength in unlikely places; it is a tale that teaches us you don’t need magic to have a happy ending.
Ben Butler (17 KP) Oct 11, 2017