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Lone Turtle On A Quest For Revenge
New York City has become a dark and depressing place as the Foot Clan has taken over quadrants of the city, with "synthetic ninja" or "synja's". It's ruled by totalitarianism and meticulous fascism at the hands of Oroku Hiroto, grandson of the Shredder. The last of the Ninja Turtles works hard to end Hiroto's evil reign. Alone and outnumbered he seeks to avenge his dead brothers, a seemingly hopeless mission and kill Hiroto, whom he blames for their murders.


 So first off I think this comic is pretty bad ass. I had heard about it and decided to check it out and I totally liked the whole premise for it and how the story plays out in this first issue. The artwork was nice and there was plenty of action but what hooked me was the whole quest for revenge. I think I've said it before but if you don't know this about me, I'm a sucker for a good revenge story. I don't know what it is about being wronged or having something so bad happen to the hero/protagonist in stories but I immediately put myself in their place and think about what I would do if I was them. Plus it's always satisfying to see the bad guy get his "just desserts". I have to say that I'm a huge TMNT fan but I've actually never really read any of the comic stuff. I remember reading a crossover or team up of them with Erik Larsen's Savage Dragon but that's about the only thing I've ever seen or checked out before. So I might be a little biased but the story is also really compelling.


 I like the way it starts off with the lone ninja turtle making his way into the city, sneaking into the Foot controlled zone by climbing over the wall. How they complain about the water being ruined from global warming and years of pollution as he has to swim through it. I like how people are talking to him the whole time and it's a shock to find out who they are. I really like the artwork, like the character designs and how they make it a mystery as to which Ninja Turtle is the one who survived. They even make him use various weapons instead of their signature one to keep the mystery going throughout the issue. I liked the way the city looked, it had modern looking places and but then futuristic parts with flying cars and stuff too. There's plenty of action as they take on plenty of "synja's" as well as elite ninja and some "Stockman tech", mainly some flying "mousers". Don't want to give away too much since this is my first comic book review and haven't figured out a format for it yet and if I'm going to do non-spoiler/spoiler style or not but I think this is where I'll leave it for now.
  
Journey of the Emperor
Journey of the Emperor
2019 | Card Game
Do you think you know how to party? I thought I did, too. Then I played Journey of the Emperor, where you are planning an exciting party of journeys for the Emperor and their friends. They are all relying on YOU to provide them with the best journeys seeing exciting animals, beautiful flowers, and colorful lanterns along the way. But will you be able to plan wisely in the limited time you have been given? Let’s find out.

We were very excited to receive this game from Laboratory H for preview before they began their Kickstarter campaign. We love games with an Asian influence, and it seemed to have touches and inspirations from Tokaido, another favorite of ours. What we received is its own beast with great art and components.

So like I alluded to in my intro, you play a party planner drafting the best path cards to build the most killer journeys for your Emperor. You are dealt a hand of path cards – big, beautiful cards – that can feature different combinations of Journey Start, Journey End, animals, and lanterns icons. To assist you in focusing your strategy, you are also dealt four Emperor’s Favorites cards, from which you will keep two and discard the others. From the large stack of remaining path cards you reveal six as an offer and the game can begin.

On your turn you will be drafting cards from the offer, playing cards from your hand, and trying to complete objectives for points on your Emperor’s Favorites and Journey Start and End cards. These cards have scoring conditions printed on them to help tailor your play. So a Journey End card could have a picture of a flower on it (as all Start and End cards do) with a scoring condition of 3 points for every tiger icon on this completed Journey (I want to call this a “scoring panel” for this review to make it easier). So then you want to concentrate on getting as many tiger icons into this Journey to score tons of points. Or perhaps a Journey Start card will have a different flower, and state that you get 21 points for every set of tiger, dragon, and turtle icons. Either way, you now have a goal to achieve and you spend the game trying to amass the most points from these scoring opportunities and those found on your Emperor’s Favorites cards, which have similar scoring iconography. Most points at game end wins!

While this seems easy and that there is no inherent strategy, let me introduce the wrinkle. You can only score points from completed journeys. Each completed journey has at least a Journey Start and Journey End card. These cards will be adjacent to each other to form a pathway through the cards. You may never add a path card to your journey between two existing cards, but they can be added to the edges of a journey – either at the beginning or the end. If you add to the beginning, you will completely cover up the Journey Start card’s scoring panel so that you can create an uninterrupted path. Herein lies the strategy. At what point do you take the plunge and cover up a scoring panel to add to your journey? Yes, you can get way more points by doing this, but in a 4-player game you only have EIGHT turns. So do you feel like you will be able to draft just the right cards to maximize your scoring or will you falter and not be able to complete a journey in time, thus forfeiting any points you could have scored? Oh, you clever game…

Components. This is a smaller card game. The Emperor’s Favorites cards are about the mini size you would find in OG Ticket to Ride. The path cards are much larger and similar to the tarot sized cards, if not even taller. Both are of great quality with the wonderful linen finish (that I’m learning is more polarizing than I originally thought, but I love it!). Our review copy came with a few scoring sheets to tally the final scores – which we didn’t use correctly but still arrived at the correct final scores. The art in this game is truly breathtaking. The details in the murals in just the backgrounds of the path cards are amazing, and the flowers and animals are really really incredible. If we had one small gripe about the art, it was mentioned that someone could not tell much of a difference between the tiger and the dragon icons on the path cards. I didn’t have much of a problem deciphering the difference, but they are very similar in color and style, so I can see how others may view this as an issue for them.

DISCLAIMER: These are preview copy components, and I do not know if the final components will be similar or different, or if the Kickstarter campaign will alter or add anything through stretch goals. That said, I am very satisfied with the components provided in this game.

This is a really good game. A lot more thinky than Tokaido (using a similar theme), and ultimately more enjoyable because you really feel you have control over your turns and aren’t just going for the best available at the time. You actually have to employ strategy here in order to be competitive. And although this is not a spiteful take-that game, you most certainly can foil your opponents’ plans indirectly by drafting their much-needed path cards. The art is amazing, the game is a great length, and you really want to keep playing. To me, that is the mark of a really good game. All that said, I would recommend this one if you are looking for a quick game that gives you all the good feelings of Tokaido but also scratches more of a gamer’s itch for actual strategy. Oh, and it’s absolutely beautiful.
  
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The Marinated Meeple (1853 KP) Jun 13, 2019

This is an amazing review, and I look forward to checking it out....

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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) Jun 13, 2019

Thanks! It's a very solid game and I'm itching to get it backed as well! -T

The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018)
The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018)
2018 | Crime, Drama, Thriller
Would the last straight woman in Stockholm turn off the lights?
You’ve gotta love a Scandi-thriller. Well, that was until last year’s hopeless Michael Fassbender vehicle “The Snowman” which devalued the currency better than Brexit has done to the pound! The mother of them all though was the original “Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” trilogy (in Swedish) in 2009. Although subject to a wholly unnecessary English remake two year’s later by David Fincher (with Mara Rooney and Daniel Craig) it was Noomi Rapace who struck the perfect note as the original anarchic and damaged Lisbeth Salander: a punk wielding a baseball bat like an alien-thing possessed (pun well and truly intended!).

Now though we have “A New Dragon Tattoo Story” (as the film’s subtitle clumsily declares) based on the book by David Lagercrantz, who took over the literary franchise after the untimely death of Stieg Larsson. Picking up the reins as Salander is that most British of actresses Claire Foy…. which seems an odd choice, but one which – after you get past the rather odd accent – she just about pulls off.

The Plot
Lizbeth Salendar (Claire Foy) has an interesting hobby. She is a vigilante, like a lesbian Batman, stalking the streets of Stockholm putting wrongs right where abusive boyfriends/husbands are concerned.

She is also a hacking machine for rent. And Frans Balder (Stephen Merchant) has a problem. He has invented a software program that allows its user to control every nuclear warhead in the world from a single laptop (cue every other Bond/24/Austin Powers script ever written). But he has had second thoughts and wants it back from its resting place on the server of the NSA’s chief hacker, Ed Needham (Lakeith Stanfield). Balder recruits Salander to recover it, but when things go pear-shaped Salander finds herself on the wrong side of both the law and the encircling terrorist “spiders”.

The Review
Scandi-dramas work best when they exploit the snow; maintain a sexual tension; and go dark, gritty and violent. On the plus side, “The Girl in the Spider’s Web” ticks most of those boxes adequately. Foy’s Salandar is smart, sassy and sexy, outwitting the best of the best, and only once finding her intellectual match. (If you’re a lesbian, Stockholm is most definitely the place to be: there only seemed to be one hetero-female there, and she was an adulteress).

But Salander also has a Bond-like invincibility that unfortunately tests your incredulity at multiple points. Contributing to the excitement is the stunt team, who keep themselves busy with some great car and bike chases.

So, the movie has its moments and is great to look at. But the film ends up a sandwich or two short of a smorgasbord, thanks largely to some totally bonkers plot points and more than a few ridiculous coincidences. There are without doubt an array of well-constructed set pieces here, but they fail to fully connect with any great conviction. An example of a scene that infuriates is a dramatic bathroom fight in a red-lit gloom with identical protagonists that is cut together so furiously you would need a Blu-ray slo-mo to work out what the hell is going on… and then I fear you might fail.

So it’s an A- for the Production Design (Eve Stewart, “The Danish Girl“) and the Cinematography (Pedro Luque, “Don’t Breathe“), but a C- for the director Fede Alvarez (also “Don’t Breathe“).

Avoid the Trailer
I will save my biggest source of wrath though for that major bug-bear of mine: trailers that spoil the plot.

I’ve asked before, but for a film like this, WHO EXACTLY PUTS TOGETHER THE TRAILER? I’d like to think it’s some mindless committee of marketing execs somewhere. Because I HONESTLY CAN’T BELIEVE it would be the director! (If I’m wrong though, I would point my finger at Mr Alvarez and chant “shame, shame, shame”!)

For the trailer that I saw playing in UK cinemas does it’s level best to not only drop in the key spoilers of the plot (including the climactic scene), but also spoils just about every action money-shot in the movie. It’s all so pointless. If you’ve by any chance managed to get to this point without seeing the trailer, then SAVE YOURSELVES and AVOID IT!

(The one attached below by the way is slightly – slightly! – better, including some over-dubbing of a line that I don’t think was in the film. Perhaps they realised their huge mistake and reissued it?)

The Turns
As I mentioned earlier, Claire Foy again extends her range by playing Salander really well. She is the reason to go and see the film.

The Daniel Craig part of Blomkvist is played here by Sverrir Gudnason, who was in “The Circle” (which I saw) and was Borg in “Borg McEnroe” (which I didn’t). Blomkvist really is a lazy ****, since he works for the publication “Millenium” but writes absolutely nothing for years. It must be only because the boss (Vicky Krieps) fancies him that he keeps his job. Gudnason is good enough, but has very little to do in the movie: its the Salander/Foy show. Slightly, but only slightly, more involved is Lakeith Standfield as the US intelligence man.


Given little to do in the plot. Sverrir Gudnason as the incredibly unproductive ‘journalist’ Mikael Blomkvist. (Source: Sony Pictures Entertainment)
Stephen Merchant is an odd casting choice for Balder. Not withstanding that he was brilliant when almost unrecognisable in “Logan“, here he looks far too much like his “Ricky Gervais sidekick” persona to be taken seriously: and it’s not even remotely a comedy (there is only one humorous moment in the film, a nice “clicker” gag in a car park).

Final Thoughts
I had high hopes for this film from the trailer, but I was left disappointed. It’s not classic Scandi-noir like the original “Tattoo”; and it’s not going for the black comedy angle of “Headhunters” (which I saw again last week and loved… again!). It falls into a rather “meh” category. It’s not a bad evening’s watch, but perhaps worth leaving for a DVD/cable showing.
  
Drakon (fourth edition)
Drakon (fourth edition)
2015 | Fantasy, Maze, Miniatures, Racing
Quick to teach and learn (2 more)
Fast Turns, little downtime
Player powers are balanced
Higher player counts can be too chaotic (2 more)
Infinite loops can become annoying
Some games are more exciting than others
A Simple, Light Filler of a Dungeon Game
The best way that I can describe Drakon is that it is 'Carcassonne in a dungeon.' It's just as easy to pick up and play, but adds the concept of building your own dungeon as you progress through the game.

Each player will have 4 tiles in their hand, and on their turn, they can either place a tile (drawing a new one afterwards) or move their character into an adjacent chamber. Each tile has a door or an arrow on each side. You can place a tile door to door or arrow to door, but never arrow to arrow. Once a player moves through a door, you can't go back the eay you came (by the usual means anyway.) The goal of the game is to collect 10 coins through entering a chamber with gold in it, or by stealing them from another player. Each coin will have a value between 1 and 3, and the players keep them secret from the others.

 A chamber might have an effect associated with it, which is activated when someone mives into it, such as allowing you to rotate a chamber, removing one from the game entirely, teleporting to another part of the dungeon, or even unleashing Drakon the dragon into the dungeon.

Once Drakon is in the dungeon, whoever next lands on her space can move her up to 3 spaces, ignoring doors and arrows along the way. If she ends on a space with a character, that player must put back a random coin into the stack and return to the entrance chamber.

 Once someone collects 10 coins total, they win the game. If the tile stack runs out, the game automatically ends, and the player with the most coins at the end will be the winner.

For the base game, I would say that Drakon is TOO simple, and I highly recommend playing with the alternate methods, which gives each character it's own unique power to use once per game, and whoever collects 10 coins must then either make it back to the entrance chamber, make it to a teleport tile, or use an escape tile. This makes the game a lot more fun in my opinion, and also adds the element of the other players trying to stop you if they suspect you are trying to escape.

Drakon can be a mixed bag. Sometimes the games are really enjoyable, as the chambee effects can really play havoc with other players, esoecially if Drakon comes out. Other times, it can be rather boring, and sometimes a player can build an infinite loop of collecting coins, with no way of stopping them, which isn't really fun for anyone. I also feel that anything over 4 players makes the game a little too chaotic, and it can make the game overstay it's welcome. Generally though, Drakon is a quick, light filler game that can hold up well in anyones collection.
  
Despicable Me 3 (2017)
Despicable Me 3 (2017)
2017 | Animation, Comedy
A disjointed third outing
They’re back. After the ridiculous success of Minions in 2015, Universal pressed ahead with a sequel to their other ridiculously successful animated franchise, Despicable Me.

The first two films were a delightful, if uneven adventure with everybody’s favourite yellow tic-tacs getting their standalone movie that grossed over $1billion. I know, I can’t believe it either.

Now, supervillain turned doting dad Gru is back for another round of animated mayhem. But is this third outing as enjoyable as its predecessors? Or are we starting to feel franchise fatigue?

The mischievous yet hopelessly adorable Minions hope that boss Gru (Steve Carell) will return to a life of crime after the Anti-Villain League fires him. Instead, he travels to Freedonia to meet his long-lost twin brother for the very first time. The siblings soon find themselves in a bickering alliance to take down supervillain Balthazar Bratt (Trey Parker), a child star from the 1980s who seeks revenge against the people who ended his career.

Universal have, rightly or wrongly, not messed with the formula that made the first two films such smash hits. That means you get the same uniquely animated world and characters with a reasonably engaging story that doesn’t ask too much of its audience. There is one difference however, the Minions. After the success of their own film, their presence here is notably jacked up – they’re given their own side quest and that is where we run into some problems.

The sacrifice made to accommodate this extra plot is a disjointed film that switches quite jarringly between each particular story point. One minute we’re tracking unicorns with Agnes, Margot and Edith, the next we’re joining the Minions and five minutes later we’re watching Gru strut his stuff against Balthazar Bratt.

Kids will love it, there’s no doubt about it and it’s sure to bring in the big bucks for Universal, but children’s films have become so much more than just bright colours, fart jokes and fragmented story points. Take 2015’s Inside Out for example or How to Train Your Dragon 2, the very pinnacle of animation.

There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with Despicable Me 3, the voice cast are all on point, Kristen Wiig is a joy as Lucy, and the animation is slick and colourful, but the bar has been set extraordinarily high.

Nevertheless, Trey Parker’s turn as villain Balthazar Bratt is great fun and he’s a brilliant antagonist throughout. See Marvel, it can be done.

There are moments of excellence here. Mature themes about growing up creep in to genuinely sweet moments, but they’re few and far between as the film steamrolls into a fun if generic final act.

Overall, there’s no doubt that Despicable Me 3 is going to be one of the biggest hits of the year. Packed with lovely animation, a great retro soundtrack, Minions and wonderful voice acting, it’s got all the ingredients for success; I just wish it had the guts to change the formula a little.

Cue the Minion memes in 3, 2, 1…

https://moviemetropolis.net/2017/07/01/despicable-me-3-review/