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Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Seventh Son (2015) in Movies
Aug 6, 2019
After a two-year delay, Seventh Son has finally reached the big screen, and it will leave you conflicted.
Seventh Son is brought to us by director Sergey Bodrov. Originally set for a February 2013 release, the film had complicated distribution arrangements between Legendary and Warner Brothers, which kept causing delays.
Jeff Bridges plays one of the title characters: Master John Gregory. He is the last of an order of peacekeeper knights, which once used to be a thousand strong. All of these knights are seventh sons of seventh sons, and are self-tasked with keeping the evil creatures of the world at bay.
The movie starts off with a young Gregory completing a prison cell for an unknown woman. Years later, the prisoner, a draconic beast, breaks out and attacks a nearby town, specifically targeting the aged Knight and his apprentice (Kit Harington — Jon Snow from Game of Thrones). This recently released evil is Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), the queen of witches.
During the battle, Harington’s brief existence in this film is brought to an end, causing Gregory to seek out another apprentice. This search leads him to young Thomas Ward (Ben Barnes). After Ward goes through some sad goodbyes with his family, he and Gregory set out to take down the Witch Queen before the blood moon sets.
His training would normally take 10 years, but they only have a week.
Put simply, this movie was very fragmented. It isn’t a good movie, but it isn’t a bad one either. It has reasonable special effects and decent fight scenes.
There is plenty of star power: Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Kit Harington, Djimon Hounsou (one of my favorites), and Jason Scott Lee.
Jeff Bridges missed the mark on his character. It’s one thing to be disgruntled and war-torn with a curious sense of humor, but it’s something quite different to be outright silly.
There were no explanations. How did the order come about? Why seventh sons of seventh sons? How did Gregory KNOW there was a seventh son at that house? How did the war start? Why is Gregory the last? Why wasn’t there more about Gregory’s relationship with Malkin? Why did the skeleton in the armor attack Tom? Why do the swords hum? Where did the stone come from? Why was it powerful? Why anything, really? The story has no depth, failing to explain the “why” of any of its lore. There were only statements of fact, which confuses viewers and prevents them from becoming emotionally anchored to the story.
I simply didn’t care about the characters. The film was disorganized and rushed. Perhaps it would have been better served as two films, or a longer film, or even a mini series.
Seventh Son had the potential to be so much more. A combination of poor writing and bad direction made the movie lackluster to me and all three of my companions.
The actors delivered many campy one-liners, and the chuckles they drew from the crowd were quite unintentional.
If you are a fan of high fantasy, it’s probably worth seeing, but wait for it to arrive on Netflix and use it as background entertainment
Seventh Son is brought to us by director Sergey Bodrov. Originally set for a February 2013 release, the film had complicated distribution arrangements between Legendary and Warner Brothers, which kept causing delays.
Jeff Bridges plays one of the title characters: Master John Gregory. He is the last of an order of peacekeeper knights, which once used to be a thousand strong. All of these knights are seventh sons of seventh sons, and are self-tasked with keeping the evil creatures of the world at bay.
The movie starts off with a young Gregory completing a prison cell for an unknown woman. Years later, the prisoner, a draconic beast, breaks out and attacks a nearby town, specifically targeting the aged Knight and his apprentice (Kit Harington — Jon Snow from Game of Thrones). This recently released evil is Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), the queen of witches.
During the battle, Harington’s brief existence in this film is brought to an end, causing Gregory to seek out another apprentice. This search leads him to young Thomas Ward (Ben Barnes). After Ward goes through some sad goodbyes with his family, he and Gregory set out to take down the Witch Queen before the blood moon sets.
His training would normally take 10 years, but they only have a week.
Put simply, this movie was very fragmented. It isn’t a good movie, but it isn’t a bad one either. It has reasonable special effects and decent fight scenes.
There is plenty of star power: Jeff Bridges, Julianne Moore, Kit Harington, Djimon Hounsou (one of my favorites), and Jason Scott Lee.
Jeff Bridges missed the mark on his character. It’s one thing to be disgruntled and war-torn with a curious sense of humor, but it’s something quite different to be outright silly.
There were no explanations. How did the order come about? Why seventh sons of seventh sons? How did Gregory KNOW there was a seventh son at that house? How did the war start? Why is Gregory the last? Why wasn’t there more about Gregory’s relationship with Malkin? Why did the skeleton in the armor attack Tom? Why do the swords hum? Where did the stone come from? Why was it powerful? Why anything, really? The story has no depth, failing to explain the “why” of any of its lore. There were only statements of fact, which confuses viewers and prevents them from becoming emotionally anchored to the story.
I simply didn’t care about the characters. The film was disorganized and rushed. Perhaps it would have been better served as two films, or a longer film, or even a mini series.
Seventh Son had the potential to be so much more. A combination of poor writing and bad direction made the movie lackluster to me and all three of my companions.
The actors delivered many campy one-liners, and the chuckles they drew from the crowd were quite unintentional.
If you are a fan of high fantasy, it’s probably worth seeing, but wait for it to arrive on Netflix and use it as background entertainment
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Trogdor!!: The Board Game in Tabletop Games
Aug 8, 2019
I cannot possible explain to you how many hours of my college career were spent LMBO at the homestarrunner.com website. Teen Girl Squad. Strong Bad E-mails. The incredible Halloween episodes. If you know what I’m talking about, I hope you enjoyed some sense of beautiful nostalgia just now. So when I saw that someone was making a board game based on a secondary (or a thirdedary) character from one of my favorite websites from my not-so-youth I knew it would be mine someday. That day has come and I am here to report my thoughts on Trogdor!! The Board Game.
Trogdor!! The Board Game, which I’m just gonna start calling Trogdor!!, is a cooperative area burninating puzzle adventure game for only the coolest of the cool. The twist on this game, if you are unfamiliar with Trogdor or Homsar, is that the players are all essentially cultists who assist Trogdor to burninate the countryside, all the cottages, and chomp the peasants or send them to the Void.
DISCLAIMER: Though this was Kickstarted, I did not splurge on the deluxe version, so I have the meepled version and it does just fine. Furthermore, I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rule book, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy from the publisher directly or from your FLGS. -T
To setup the game (and I found this part tedious) lay out the countryside tiles according to one of the suggested layouts in the back of the rule book or simply wherever you want in a 5×5 grid. This is your game board now. Also place out the thatched-roof cottages, peasants, knights, and archers. Trogdor starts the game in the middle tile, prepped for his burnination run. Each player also receives a Keeper of Trogdor persona card that provides special abilities, an item card that can be used during play, and an action card that determines how many action points a player may use as well as possibly special abilities to use for the turn. Troghammer starts the game on the Trog-meter, ready to come onto the board to wreak hammery havoc on our hero.
A turn consists of two phases. The first phase has the current player drawing an action card which intimates the number of action points (AP) the player can use for actions: Move Trogdor one space orthogonally, Chomp a peasant to increase health, Burninate a tile/cottage/peasant, Burrow into a tunnel and pop out the other side, or Hide in the mountains. Movement is easy: move Trogdor one space per AP you’d like to spend. Chomping requires Trogdor to be on the same tile as a peasant, but then you can chow down on them to increase our deity’s health bar. Burninating also requires Trogdor to be on the same tile as the tile/cottage/peasant you want to burninate. The Lake tile has special burninating rules, as do thatched-roof cottages. I will also allow you to learn about burninating peasants on your own, as it is pretty amazing. Burrowing requires Trogdor to be on a tunnel tile and spend an AP to teleport to the other tunnel (a la Small World). Trogdor may also simply Hide on a mountain tile to be protected from the attackers that act during the next phase. If players to not like either the action card they were dealt or the card they drew, they may simply discard a card to take their turn with 5 AP and no special abilities.
The next phase is where the board elements do their thang. The active player will draw and play a movement card. From instructions on this card the board may spawn more peasants, will move the peasants, will move the knights and also archers. Peasants do not fight Trogdor, but they can possibly repair burninated tiles. Knights WILL hurt Trogdor whenever they pass through or end their turn on the same tile as Trogdor. Knights will also automatically repair any burninated thatched-roof cottages they pass through. Troghammer is a special knight who only comes into play once Trogdor is hurt the first time. Archers will attack an entire column or row depending on which direction they were traveling when they ended their movement. If Trogdor still has peasants on the Trog-meter (representing health), then the next player takes their turn. If Trogdor has no more health and he is hit again, he enters a fiery RAGE! I will let you discover what happens during this event also.
The players win when all the tiles, cottages, and peasants have been burninated or eliminated from the board. They lose when Trogdor is defeated and they have not completed their victory conditions.
Components. It’s always so hard to really know exactly what you will be receiving when you Kickstart a game. Especially from a company not known for board games, and which has never produced a board game. So, I was anticipating something entirely different as I was opening my box. This is what I received: excellent tiles with UV spot on each side (super fancy!). I usually don’t care about UV spot anywhere on my game, but that seems to be en vogue now, so I’ll just try to enjoy it when I can. The other cardboard bits are great too. The cards are of great quality, but I went ahead and sleeved the action and movement cards since I knew they would be handled quite a bit. The Trogeeples (jeez) all are of great quality, and I really appreciate the additional Trogdor meeples included. I had a big chuckle about that. The artwork is comical (like in a comic) and I also appreciated all the Strong Bad enhancements as well. The only negative I have about the components of the game is the ridiculous thin box of air that was included as a buffer near the insert. I threw it out, put my sleeved action and movement cards in a plastic deck box in its place and now I’m much happier.
Overall, I had such a blast playing this game. Is it mostly due to nostalgia and reverie? Perhaps. But, Bryan was playing this with us and he didn’t know anything about Trogdor or Homestar Runner. He also really enjoyed the game, so I think the level of familiarity doesn’t matter. Obviously I did not explain EVERY rule to the game, but hopefully by my quick description my readers get a good idea of how the game plays. I can honestly say that I love love love this game and will treasure it always. If/when I see this at my FLGS I may just buy up all the copies to give as gifts. It’s really good. That’s why Purple Phoenix Games give this one an MSG’d 15 / 18. Oh, and you’re welcome for my holding back of all the quotes I COULD HAVE put in this review. I could have really earned my nerd card renewal.
Trogdor!! The Board Game, which I’m just gonna start calling Trogdor!!, is a cooperative area burninating puzzle adventure game for only the coolest of the cool. The twist on this game, if you are unfamiliar with Trogdor or Homsar, is that the players are all essentially cultists who assist Trogdor to burninate the countryside, all the cottages, and chomp the peasants or send them to the Void.
DISCLAIMER: Though this was Kickstarted, I did not splurge on the deluxe version, so I have the meepled version and it does just fine. Furthermore, I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rule book, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy from the publisher directly or from your FLGS. -T
To setup the game (and I found this part tedious) lay out the countryside tiles according to one of the suggested layouts in the back of the rule book or simply wherever you want in a 5×5 grid. This is your game board now. Also place out the thatched-roof cottages, peasants, knights, and archers. Trogdor starts the game in the middle tile, prepped for his burnination run. Each player also receives a Keeper of Trogdor persona card that provides special abilities, an item card that can be used during play, and an action card that determines how many action points a player may use as well as possibly special abilities to use for the turn. Troghammer starts the game on the Trog-meter, ready to come onto the board to wreak hammery havoc on our hero.
A turn consists of two phases. The first phase has the current player drawing an action card which intimates the number of action points (AP) the player can use for actions: Move Trogdor one space orthogonally, Chomp a peasant to increase health, Burninate a tile/cottage/peasant, Burrow into a tunnel and pop out the other side, or Hide in the mountains. Movement is easy: move Trogdor one space per AP you’d like to spend. Chomping requires Trogdor to be on the same tile as a peasant, but then you can chow down on them to increase our deity’s health bar. Burninating also requires Trogdor to be on the same tile as the tile/cottage/peasant you want to burninate. The Lake tile has special burninating rules, as do thatched-roof cottages. I will also allow you to learn about burninating peasants on your own, as it is pretty amazing. Burrowing requires Trogdor to be on a tunnel tile and spend an AP to teleport to the other tunnel (a la Small World). Trogdor may also simply Hide on a mountain tile to be protected from the attackers that act during the next phase. If players to not like either the action card they were dealt or the card they drew, they may simply discard a card to take their turn with 5 AP and no special abilities.
The next phase is where the board elements do their thang. The active player will draw and play a movement card. From instructions on this card the board may spawn more peasants, will move the peasants, will move the knights and also archers. Peasants do not fight Trogdor, but they can possibly repair burninated tiles. Knights WILL hurt Trogdor whenever they pass through or end their turn on the same tile as Trogdor. Knights will also automatically repair any burninated thatched-roof cottages they pass through. Troghammer is a special knight who only comes into play once Trogdor is hurt the first time. Archers will attack an entire column or row depending on which direction they were traveling when they ended their movement. If Trogdor still has peasants on the Trog-meter (representing health), then the next player takes their turn. If Trogdor has no more health and he is hit again, he enters a fiery RAGE! I will let you discover what happens during this event also.
The players win when all the tiles, cottages, and peasants have been burninated or eliminated from the board. They lose when Trogdor is defeated and they have not completed their victory conditions.
Components. It’s always so hard to really know exactly what you will be receiving when you Kickstart a game. Especially from a company not known for board games, and which has never produced a board game. So, I was anticipating something entirely different as I was opening my box. This is what I received: excellent tiles with UV spot on each side (super fancy!). I usually don’t care about UV spot anywhere on my game, but that seems to be en vogue now, so I’ll just try to enjoy it when I can. The other cardboard bits are great too. The cards are of great quality, but I went ahead and sleeved the action and movement cards since I knew they would be handled quite a bit. The Trogeeples (jeez) all are of great quality, and I really appreciate the additional Trogdor meeples included. I had a big chuckle about that. The artwork is comical (like in a comic) and I also appreciated all the Strong Bad enhancements as well. The only negative I have about the components of the game is the ridiculous thin box of air that was included as a buffer near the insert. I threw it out, put my sleeved action and movement cards in a plastic deck box in its place and now I’m much happier.
Overall, I had such a blast playing this game. Is it mostly due to nostalgia and reverie? Perhaps. But, Bryan was playing this with us and he didn’t know anything about Trogdor or Homestar Runner. He also really enjoyed the game, so I think the level of familiarity doesn’t matter. Obviously I did not explain EVERY rule to the game, but hopefully by my quick description my readers get a good idea of how the game plays. I can honestly say that I love love love this game and will treasure it always. If/when I see this at my FLGS I may just buy up all the copies to give as gifts. It’s really good. That’s why Purple Phoenix Games give this one an MSG’d 15 / 18. Oh, and you’re welcome for my holding back of all the quotes I COULD HAVE put in this review. I could have really earned my nerd card renewal.