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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Destinies in Tabletop Games
Jan 29, 2022
I can recall so many instances of my board game purchases being based on either the designer, artist, or publisher. Surely I am not alone here. Josh will probably always be a Stonemaier Games fanboy. Laura has aligned herself with Daily Magic Games and Button Shy Games. While I am a big fan of the Valeriaverse, I think my current preferences put me on teams Weird Giraffe Games, Blue Orange Games, and Lucky Duck Games. Speaking of the latter, LDG have come through with some seriously excellent hybrid app-driven games that just wow me every single time. I was definitely a hybrid game naysayer when the first Chronicles of Crime came out, but the more I play them, the more I appreciate the accomplishments. Destinies has now come along to me and it has been some time since I have been this jazzed to play a game over and over and over and over.
Destinies is a hybrid app-driven adventure board game for one to three players. In it, players will be choosing their characters and how to play them, along with the path of their individual destinies across several campaign scenarios. When playing multiplayer, the player who completes their destiny first will win. When playing solo (which is also amazing), the player wins when they successfully complete their destiny.
DISCLAIMER: We are using the Kickstarter version of the game. We do have the expansions from the KS campaign, but will not be using those for this review. Also, we do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rule book, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy from the publisher directly or from your FLGS. -T
Usually I list out the steps to setup a game in this section, but there are so many little items and steps to be taken that I will simply show you, the reader, how a scenario may look once setup. The app will instruct players how to create their character’s stats and which map tiles should be placed out initially. Typically, though, each player will receive a player board, Destiny card (with their character headshot on one side and their Destiny choices on back), two main dice, three effort dice, and one gold coin. Once setup, the app will drive the story along and the players will be rolling dice and making choices in order to win the game or scenario.
Each player will be given their Destiny card with two distinct Destiny paths on the backside. These paths correlate with the current scenario, and the player will be able to choose one of the two given paths to help move their games forward. However, sometimes players will switch their Destiny mid-game due to several factors including successes on previous tasks or current inventory. The only way to win the game is to complete a Destiny, so staying on track is paramount in this open sandbox game – it is incredibly easy to become sidetracked and lose sight of specific tasks to be performed.
Each turn a player may move to a new tile, to previously-explored tiles, or points of interest on specific map tiles. These points of interest could be unique characters to be visited, or more general spaces on the tile represented by tokens. Sometimes visiting a POI (point of interest) will have the player rolling dice to complete tests, initiating trade with the POI NPC, revealing information about their distinct Destiny, or even issuing side quests. Players take their chances by visiting a POI because only one may be visited on a turn. Once a player has moved and visited a POI, their turn is over and the next player’s turn begins.
The most interesting aspect of this game is the experience tracker and results of tests. Player stats are divided between Intelligence, Dexterity, and Power (Strength for my D&D readers). These stats are constantly in flux due to tests and experience, and levels range from 1-12+ on the player board. A player will roll both main dice and any effort dice they wish on each test, and the total result is compared to the discs present on the main player board. One success is counted for each disc’s value equal to or below the rolled result. For example, if the roll is a 6, and the player has a disc on 3 and another on 6 the player counts two successes. Effort dice add values to the rolled result, and one side of these dice depict a star, which counts as one success. Throughout the game players will be moving their skill marker tokens (discs) up and down the tracks. Sometimes this is due to a test being failed or succeeded, but sometimes experience tokens are earned. A player may improve their skill levels by two total values on the tracks for each experience token discarded. Players may choose which tracks, and may maximize their character’s skill or spread out the experience across multiple skills.
Play continues in this fashion of referencing the app for story and plot items, players working toward completing their Destinies, and adventuring across the land rolling tests and improving skills until one player finishes their Destiny and wins the game!
Components. As always, I am going to be honest here by stating I believe that Destinies packs the box with the best components I have seen in a game. The multi-layered insert is perfectly formed and well-thought out, all the cardboard tokens are super-thick, the dice are so fun to handle and roll, the cards and other components feature incredible artwork, and did I mention there’s about a thousand minis in this game? I am reluctant to even call some of these things minis as they are large and in charge for SURE. I have zero complaints or comments on the components present in Destinies. Lucky Duck knocks it out of the park once again. Incredible.
I actually backed this one on Kickstarter just because it comes from Lucky Duck Games. I had played Chronicles of Crime and loved it, and just wanted to try something different but using a similar system. Typically I don’t keep up with the comments and updates to a game I have backed because I enjoy being surprised by the product that arrives at my door. Destinies was certainly a surprise to me, and I have been kicking myself in the butt for not getting it to the table the very first day I received it.
Destinies is my favorite Lucky Duck Games title, and that is saying a ton, as I rave about every game of theirs I have played. I hope you all back me up here, and if you haven’t yet tried this one, I hope you visit your closest friend or board game cafe that owns it. The tutorial scenario is great, and the campaign scenarios have been awesome so far. Okay, yes, when I first played it with Laura, my wife made several comments about it being a 3 hour game, but once that first one is completed, the subsequent plays run much smoother.
What I love so much about this is how indefinitely expandable it is. Most of the components are multi-use (akin to all the character cards in the Chronicles of Crime games), and can be used in campaign after campaign. The drawbacks I see for this, though, is any sort of waning interest in it forcing designers to abandon plans to create more scenarios. Could a new scenario pack be an acceptable expansion versus a large expansion box with oodles of new components and minis? I think so, but I am no designer. Could the Millennium Series treatment be given to Destinies? Absolutely! This system does not need to be played in a medieval fantasy world. It could be molded to almost anything, and that gives me excited shivers over the future of this game.
If you are anything like me and have now embraced the hybrid gaming trend, I highly recommend Destinies. I plan to also review all the expansions in the near future, so do look out for those, but please do yourself a giant favor and pick up Destinies. The excellent storytelling, great components, and just amazing fun helps Purple Phoenix Games give this one a perfectly deserved 12 / 12, and a Golden Feather Award! I can’t stop thinking about it and how I would play it differently next time, and hopefully after I have played through the expansion material I will be able to restart from the very beginning with different characters and choices. It’s a sign of a great game when I can’t stop thinking about it, and I do believe Destinies currently is knocking at the door of my Top 10 Games of All Time. No, it’s there. It’s totally there. TOP 10 BABY!!
Destinies is a hybrid app-driven adventure board game for one to three players. In it, players will be choosing their characters and how to play them, along with the path of their individual destinies across several campaign scenarios. When playing multiplayer, the player who completes their destiny first will win. When playing solo (which is also amazing), the player wins when they successfully complete their destiny.
DISCLAIMER: We are using the Kickstarter version of the game. We do have the expansions from the KS campaign, but will not be using those for this review. Also, we do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rule book, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy from the publisher directly or from your FLGS. -T
Usually I list out the steps to setup a game in this section, but there are so many little items and steps to be taken that I will simply show you, the reader, how a scenario may look once setup. The app will instruct players how to create their character’s stats and which map tiles should be placed out initially. Typically, though, each player will receive a player board, Destiny card (with their character headshot on one side and their Destiny choices on back), two main dice, three effort dice, and one gold coin. Once setup, the app will drive the story along and the players will be rolling dice and making choices in order to win the game or scenario.
Each player will be given their Destiny card with two distinct Destiny paths on the backside. These paths correlate with the current scenario, and the player will be able to choose one of the two given paths to help move their games forward. However, sometimes players will switch their Destiny mid-game due to several factors including successes on previous tasks or current inventory. The only way to win the game is to complete a Destiny, so staying on track is paramount in this open sandbox game – it is incredibly easy to become sidetracked and lose sight of specific tasks to be performed.
Each turn a player may move to a new tile, to previously-explored tiles, or points of interest on specific map tiles. These points of interest could be unique characters to be visited, or more general spaces on the tile represented by tokens. Sometimes visiting a POI (point of interest) will have the player rolling dice to complete tests, initiating trade with the POI NPC, revealing information about their distinct Destiny, or even issuing side quests. Players take their chances by visiting a POI because only one may be visited on a turn. Once a player has moved and visited a POI, their turn is over and the next player’s turn begins.
The most interesting aspect of this game is the experience tracker and results of tests. Player stats are divided between Intelligence, Dexterity, and Power (Strength for my D&D readers). These stats are constantly in flux due to tests and experience, and levels range from 1-12+ on the player board. A player will roll both main dice and any effort dice they wish on each test, and the total result is compared to the discs present on the main player board. One success is counted for each disc’s value equal to or below the rolled result. For example, if the roll is a 6, and the player has a disc on 3 and another on 6 the player counts two successes. Effort dice add values to the rolled result, and one side of these dice depict a star, which counts as one success. Throughout the game players will be moving their skill marker tokens (discs) up and down the tracks. Sometimes this is due to a test being failed or succeeded, but sometimes experience tokens are earned. A player may improve their skill levels by two total values on the tracks for each experience token discarded. Players may choose which tracks, and may maximize their character’s skill or spread out the experience across multiple skills.
Play continues in this fashion of referencing the app for story and plot items, players working toward completing their Destinies, and adventuring across the land rolling tests and improving skills until one player finishes their Destiny and wins the game!
Components. As always, I am going to be honest here by stating I believe that Destinies packs the box with the best components I have seen in a game. The multi-layered insert is perfectly formed and well-thought out, all the cardboard tokens are super-thick, the dice are so fun to handle and roll, the cards and other components feature incredible artwork, and did I mention there’s about a thousand minis in this game? I am reluctant to even call some of these things minis as they are large and in charge for SURE. I have zero complaints or comments on the components present in Destinies. Lucky Duck knocks it out of the park once again. Incredible.
I actually backed this one on Kickstarter just because it comes from Lucky Duck Games. I had played Chronicles of Crime and loved it, and just wanted to try something different but using a similar system. Typically I don’t keep up with the comments and updates to a game I have backed because I enjoy being surprised by the product that arrives at my door. Destinies was certainly a surprise to me, and I have been kicking myself in the butt for not getting it to the table the very first day I received it.
Destinies is my favorite Lucky Duck Games title, and that is saying a ton, as I rave about every game of theirs I have played. I hope you all back me up here, and if you haven’t yet tried this one, I hope you visit your closest friend or board game cafe that owns it. The tutorial scenario is great, and the campaign scenarios have been awesome so far. Okay, yes, when I first played it with Laura, my wife made several comments about it being a 3 hour game, but once that first one is completed, the subsequent plays run much smoother.
What I love so much about this is how indefinitely expandable it is. Most of the components are multi-use (akin to all the character cards in the Chronicles of Crime games), and can be used in campaign after campaign. The drawbacks I see for this, though, is any sort of waning interest in it forcing designers to abandon plans to create more scenarios. Could a new scenario pack be an acceptable expansion versus a large expansion box with oodles of new components and minis? I think so, but I am no designer. Could the Millennium Series treatment be given to Destinies? Absolutely! This system does not need to be played in a medieval fantasy world. It could be molded to almost anything, and that gives me excited shivers over the future of this game.
If you are anything like me and have now embraced the hybrid gaming trend, I highly recommend Destinies. I plan to also review all the expansions in the near future, so do look out for those, but please do yourself a giant favor and pick up Destinies. The excellent storytelling, great components, and just amazing fun helps Purple Phoenix Games give this one a perfectly deserved 12 / 12, and a Golden Feather Award! I can’t stop thinking about it and how I would play it differently next time, and hopefully after I have played through the expansion material I will be able to restart from the very beginning with different characters and choices. It’s a sign of a great game when I can’t stop thinking about it, and I do believe Destinies currently is knocking at the door of my Top 10 Games of All Time. No, it’s there. It’s totally there. TOP 10 BABY!!
Acanthea Grimscythe (300 KP) rated The Roanoke Girls in Books
May 15, 2018
Contains spoilers, click to show
Wow, this review has taken longer than I expected to get around to – mostly because of my hospital stay and subsequent recovery from acute pancreatitis. Needless to say, but I’m mostly back to normal and I hope to be resuming my reviews more regularly. Also, this will be my final review for Blogging for Books, as the site will be closing down next month. Now, onto the important stuff!
Will someone please tell me what the hell I read? The only thing original about The Roanoke Girls by Amy Engel is its plot, which boldly goes where no book I’ve ever read has gone before.
The Roanoke Girls lacks original characters, which is the first of my many complaints regarding this book. Everyone is beautiful and perfect, and the one person that isn’t is described as a meth-head (which I find to be an insult to the average Janes and Joes out there). There’s not a single character, aside from the aforementioned meth-head, that isn’t a Mary Sue appearance wise. And the main character? There’s not a single thing likable about her. She’s a bitch to everyone around her, and yet somehow she still has guys fawning all over her. This is not realistic, folks.
Plot? Do you really want to get me started on that? First, let’s take a moment to discuss the fact that this book hops all over the place. One moment it is present, the next it is past, and after that, it’s some random character of little importance – just so we can learn how they died and why. Because, y’know, there’s something wrong with the fact they are all sleeping with their grandfather/brother/father/uncle/etc. Yes, I just gave a major spoiler away, but hey! I warned y’all. The only thing about this book that isn’t overly done is the fact that its main subject is INCEST. Yates Roanoke has a thing for every single woman in his family. And somehow, for some god awful reason, all these girls (save one) think it is absolutely okay/are heartbroken when things don’t quite work out.
Furthermore, all that jumping around? It’s done intentionally to drive the story forward because a straightforward account is sooo extremely drab and boring in this book that it has to jump. It has to give cliffhangers of some sort, and then make you wait another chapter or two, because otherwise it would simply drag on.
I would not recommend The Roanoke Girls to anyone. I did receive a review copy of this book free of charge and this has been my unbiased opinion. Thanks to Blogging for Books for the novel.
Will someone please tell me what the hell I read? The only thing original about The Roanoke Girls by Amy Engel is its plot, which boldly goes where no book I’ve ever read has gone before.
The Roanoke Girls lacks original characters, which is the first of my many complaints regarding this book. Everyone is beautiful and perfect, and the one person that isn’t is described as a meth-head (which I find to be an insult to the average Janes and Joes out there). There’s not a single character, aside from the aforementioned meth-head, that isn’t a Mary Sue appearance wise. And the main character? There’s not a single thing likable about her. She’s a bitch to everyone around her, and yet somehow she still has guys fawning all over her. This is not realistic, folks.
Plot? Do you really want to get me started on that? First, let’s take a moment to discuss the fact that this book hops all over the place. One moment it is present, the next it is past, and after that, it’s some random character of little importance – just so we can learn how they died and why. Because, y’know, there’s something wrong with the fact they are all sleeping with their grandfather/brother/father/uncle/etc. Yes, I just gave a major spoiler away, but hey! I warned y’all. The only thing about this book that isn’t overly done is the fact that its main subject is INCEST. Yates Roanoke has a thing for every single woman in his family. And somehow, for some god awful reason, all these girls (save one) think it is absolutely okay/are heartbroken when things don’t quite work out.
Furthermore, all that jumping around? It’s done intentionally to drive the story forward because a straightforward account is sooo extremely drab and boring in this book that it has to jump. It has to give cliffhangers of some sort, and then make you wait another chapter or two, because otherwise it would simply drag on.
I would not recommend The Roanoke Girls to anyone. I did receive a review copy of this book free of charge and this has been my unbiased opinion. Thanks to Blogging for Books for the novel.
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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Small World in Tabletop Games
Aug 13, 2019
A neat thing about this hobby is getting in on all the hype of a soon-to-be-produced game. It’s exciting to follow the development, and neat to get sneak peeks and inside access to the production. But another awesome thing about this hobby is getting to discover a game long after it’s release, and still finding yourself excited about it. That’s what happened with me and Small World. That game is 10 years old at this point in time, but I was only introduced to it within the last year. I thoroughly enjoyed it, so when I saw it at a used game sale, I knew I had to have it.
The population of the world is growing, but unfortunately the world is running out of space. Many different races of creatures are vying for dominion over the land – conquering as many regions as possible to extend their empires. However, as every great civilization rises to power, it will also eventually fall and give way to a new empire. Which race can garner the most influence before it begins to fade away? And which race will be lying in wait, ready to capitalize on the vacancy left by its predecessor?
DISCLAIMER: There are several expansions for this game, but we do not have any at this time, so this review is concerning vanilla base game Small World. If we review any of the expansions in the future we will update this review or link to the new material here. -T
Small World is a game of area control/movement and variable player powers in which players are attempting to use their chosen races to gain control over as much territory as possible. Once your chosen race has reached its limit, you can push it into a decline and pick another race to start fresh and conquer more land. Each race is coupled with a different power that could give you added benefit when used. On a typical turn, you will place tiles representing your race onto the game board. If you want to conquer a territory that is already inhabited by an opponent, you must play a specified number of tiles that will subsequently drive the opposing race from the territory, leaving it available for you to claim. Once you have played all the tiles you wish to play, you can re-distribute your race tiles – perhaps moving more to a territory near an opponent so they will not be able to overtake you easily on their turn. To end your turn, you receive one Victory Coin for each region of the world that you occupy. When you decide that your chosen race is no longer earning you enough points, you may push it into a decline and select a new race (with its own race tiles) to start a new conquest. The game ends after a finite number of turns, and the player with the most Victory Coins is the winner.
One thing that I really love about Small World is the variability of the game. There are 14 different races available each game, as well as 20 different powers. And the neat thing about the powers is that they are not tied to a specific race. Each game could yield a different combination of races/powers. So maybe in one game you get an awesome combination of a race and power, and the next game, the same race coupled with a different power turns out to be a dud. The only way to find out if a combination works is to try it! There are so many possibilities here, and that keeps the game engaging.
Another thing that I really like about Small World is that each player can go at their own pace. If I decided to push my race into decline, that does not mean that everyone else has to as well. It all depends on your specific strategy/race/power. This is also a cool part of the game because it makes it harder to determine your opponents’ strategies. You’re trying to maximize your own race/power while trying to figure out what everyone else is planning. There’s no hidden information – everyone knows all races/powers in play, as well as the races/powers available for purchase. The tricky part is trying to keep your opponents oblivious to your long-term plans. That keeps this game captivating and way more strategic than meets the eye.
The only negative thing I have to say about Small World is that there is a learning curve to this game. There are a lot of moving parts, and many things to keep track of each turn. Not to mention figuring out how the different races and powers work in conjunction with each other. It’s kind of a daunting game at first, but after a couple of plays it becomes a lot easier.
Small World is a strategic game with lots of variability and replayability. You may need to keep the rulebook on hand the first few plays, but once you get the hang of the gameplay and learn how the powers work, the game flows easily. If you haven’t yet had the opportunity to play Small World, I recommend you do. Just because it’s an ‘older’ game doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not a good game anymore! Purple Phoenix Games give Small World a big 22 / 24.
The population of the world is growing, but unfortunately the world is running out of space. Many different races of creatures are vying for dominion over the land – conquering as many regions as possible to extend their empires. However, as every great civilization rises to power, it will also eventually fall and give way to a new empire. Which race can garner the most influence before it begins to fade away? And which race will be lying in wait, ready to capitalize on the vacancy left by its predecessor?
DISCLAIMER: There are several expansions for this game, but we do not have any at this time, so this review is concerning vanilla base game Small World. If we review any of the expansions in the future we will update this review or link to the new material here. -T
Small World is a game of area control/movement and variable player powers in which players are attempting to use their chosen races to gain control over as much territory as possible. Once your chosen race has reached its limit, you can push it into a decline and pick another race to start fresh and conquer more land. Each race is coupled with a different power that could give you added benefit when used. On a typical turn, you will place tiles representing your race onto the game board. If you want to conquer a territory that is already inhabited by an opponent, you must play a specified number of tiles that will subsequently drive the opposing race from the territory, leaving it available for you to claim. Once you have played all the tiles you wish to play, you can re-distribute your race tiles – perhaps moving more to a territory near an opponent so they will not be able to overtake you easily on their turn. To end your turn, you receive one Victory Coin for each region of the world that you occupy. When you decide that your chosen race is no longer earning you enough points, you may push it into a decline and select a new race (with its own race tiles) to start a new conquest. The game ends after a finite number of turns, and the player with the most Victory Coins is the winner.
One thing that I really love about Small World is the variability of the game. There are 14 different races available each game, as well as 20 different powers. And the neat thing about the powers is that they are not tied to a specific race. Each game could yield a different combination of races/powers. So maybe in one game you get an awesome combination of a race and power, and the next game, the same race coupled with a different power turns out to be a dud. The only way to find out if a combination works is to try it! There are so many possibilities here, and that keeps the game engaging.
Another thing that I really like about Small World is that each player can go at their own pace. If I decided to push my race into decline, that does not mean that everyone else has to as well. It all depends on your specific strategy/race/power. This is also a cool part of the game because it makes it harder to determine your opponents’ strategies. You’re trying to maximize your own race/power while trying to figure out what everyone else is planning. There’s no hidden information – everyone knows all races/powers in play, as well as the races/powers available for purchase. The tricky part is trying to keep your opponents oblivious to your long-term plans. That keeps this game captivating and way more strategic than meets the eye.
The only negative thing I have to say about Small World is that there is a learning curve to this game. There are a lot of moving parts, and many things to keep track of each turn. Not to mention figuring out how the different races and powers work in conjunction with each other. It’s kind of a daunting game at first, but after a couple of plays it becomes a lot easier.
Small World is a strategic game with lots of variability and replayability. You may need to keep the rulebook on hand the first few plays, but once you get the hang of the gameplay and learn how the powers work, the game flows easily. If you haven’t yet had the opportunity to play Small World, I recommend you do. Just because it’s an ‘older’ game doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not a good game anymore! Purple Phoenix Games give Small World a big 22 / 24.
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) in Movies
Feb 19, 2022 (Updated Feb 19, 2022)
Wasted backstories that go nowhere. (3 more)
Rehashes and recreates the original film while not offering much of its own material.
New characters fall flat.
Feels like a half-cocked attempt at a new "film. "
Tearing the Face Off of a Horror Franchise
Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a direct sequel to the original 1974 film nearly 50 years later. Directed by David Blue Garcia with a screenplay by Chris Thomas Devlin and a story by Fede Alvarez (co-writer and director of the 2013 Evil Dead remake) and Rodo Sayagues (Don’t Breathe 1 & 2), Texas Chainsaw Massacre follows a group of young 20-somethings as they venture from Austin to Harlow, TX; a seven hour drive.
Dante (Jacob Latimore, Detroit) and Melody (Sarah Yarkin, Happy Death Day 2U) are business partners with somewhat of an impressive internet following. Dante is a chef who is looking to expand and Harlow is just the type of remote town to do it in. Melody’s teenage sister Lila (Elsie Fisher, Eighth Grade) and Dante’s fiancé Ruth (Nell Hudson) have tagged along mostly for emotional support.
With bank investors on the way to scout the location, the young foursome discovers a dilapidated orphanage with an old woman (Alice Krige, Gretel & Hansel) still living inside along with the last of what she refers to as, “her boys.” Dante and his friends awaken the mostly dormant monster known as Leatherface. Sally Hardesty (Olwen Fouéré) has been searching for Leatherface since he killed her friends all those years ago and now she can finally have the vengeful closure that she deserves.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is mostly trash. Leatherface has gotten the manure treatment outside of the original film, the 2003 remake, and maybe the 1986 sequel. The timeline is as messy and inconsistent as Halloween as whatever takes place behind the scenes between sequels, remakes, and reboots all seems to result in lackluster or sometimes atrocious outings for one of the most recognizable horror movie icons.
This new film can’t seem to decide what it wants to be. Sally is brought back for a half-hearted cameo as she does nothing but wear a cowboy hat, stare at a picture, cock a shotgun, and gut a pig. She’s meant to be the connection between this film and the original and it just doesn’t work. Texas Chainsaw Massacre also just seems to lift aspects from the original film as well as other non-genre films without ever offering its audience anything original or actually worthwhile.
The ending is basically lifted directly from the original as is the aspect of a group of young people running into trouble on a road trip far away from home. It’s young, city outsiders versus born-and-bred country veterans. The film also has a weird amount of homage to Terminator 2 (Melody’s leg wound and the shotgun blasts to Leatherface by the water being similar to Sarah Connor’s showdown with the T-1000 near the end of T2). It also feels like it’s trying to capitalize on the success Halloween has had since it follows a similar format (making a direct sequel to the original film decades later).
On the bright side, the kills and the gore are mostly satisfying. The wrist breaking scene followed by being stabbed in the neck with the broken bone is gnarly. There’s a brutal head smashing scene with a hammer and the bus sequence is essentially horror movie fan heaven even if the setup and dialogue in said sequence is awful. The swinging door kill feels like it could have been better than it was since it covers up more than it reveals. You can either leave the brutality to the audience’s imagination or show everything in its nasty and gruesome glory; trying to do both in the same sequence just results in disappointment.
You can make the argument that you watch a film like this for the gore and not the story anyway, but that isn’t the point. When there’s this much of a wait between new entries fans deserve better. The frustrating aspect is that Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues are capable of providing a worthwhile story along with the blood and guts because they gave it to us with Evil Dead. There’s nothing here worth the nine year gap between this and the last Texas Chainsaw film (Texas Chainsaw 3D) or the five year gap between this and Leatherface. When it’s not recycling gags from the original film or borrowing from other franchises, it’s just young people being dumb for the sake of a cheap scare or kill.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn’t as unwatchable as some reviews are making it out to be, but it’s not a good film by any stretch of the imagination. It’s barely 80-minutes long, so it has a relatively quick pace and the kills are solid. But the story is seriously lacking as there are elements that literally go nowhere; Lila’s backstory about why she’s so quiet doesn’t add much of anything other than a reason for her to never leave a padded cell when and if a sequel to this is ever made.
The problem now is that the successful film formula revolves around nostalgia, rehashing familiar sequences and storylines, and bringing back survivors for one final confrontation. This has all proven to crush the box office, especially during the pandemic. This results in there being no originality or creativity anymore; it’s just a repetition of what we’ve already seen. Until Leatherface can get a fresh face to wear, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is doomed to run in circles with a sputtering chainsaw on a mostly deserted road no one wants to travel down.
Dante (Jacob Latimore, Detroit) and Melody (Sarah Yarkin, Happy Death Day 2U) are business partners with somewhat of an impressive internet following. Dante is a chef who is looking to expand and Harlow is just the type of remote town to do it in. Melody’s teenage sister Lila (Elsie Fisher, Eighth Grade) and Dante’s fiancé Ruth (Nell Hudson) have tagged along mostly for emotional support.
With bank investors on the way to scout the location, the young foursome discovers a dilapidated orphanage with an old woman (Alice Krige, Gretel & Hansel) still living inside along with the last of what she refers to as, “her boys.” Dante and his friends awaken the mostly dormant monster known as Leatherface. Sally Hardesty (Olwen Fouéré) has been searching for Leatherface since he killed her friends all those years ago and now she can finally have the vengeful closure that she deserves.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is mostly trash. Leatherface has gotten the manure treatment outside of the original film, the 2003 remake, and maybe the 1986 sequel. The timeline is as messy and inconsistent as Halloween as whatever takes place behind the scenes between sequels, remakes, and reboots all seems to result in lackluster or sometimes atrocious outings for one of the most recognizable horror movie icons.
This new film can’t seem to decide what it wants to be. Sally is brought back for a half-hearted cameo as she does nothing but wear a cowboy hat, stare at a picture, cock a shotgun, and gut a pig. She’s meant to be the connection between this film and the original and it just doesn’t work. Texas Chainsaw Massacre also just seems to lift aspects from the original film as well as other non-genre films without ever offering its audience anything original or actually worthwhile.
The ending is basically lifted directly from the original as is the aspect of a group of young people running into trouble on a road trip far away from home. It’s young, city outsiders versus born-and-bred country veterans. The film also has a weird amount of homage to Terminator 2 (Melody’s leg wound and the shotgun blasts to Leatherface by the water being similar to Sarah Connor’s showdown with the T-1000 near the end of T2). It also feels like it’s trying to capitalize on the success Halloween has had since it follows a similar format (making a direct sequel to the original film decades later).
On the bright side, the kills and the gore are mostly satisfying. The wrist breaking scene followed by being stabbed in the neck with the broken bone is gnarly. There’s a brutal head smashing scene with a hammer and the bus sequence is essentially horror movie fan heaven even if the setup and dialogue in said sequence is awful. The swinging door kill feels like it could have been better than it was since it covers up more than it reveals. You can either leave the brutality to the audience’s imagination or show everything in its nasty and gruesome glory; trying to do both in the same sequence just results in disappointment.
You can make the argument that you watch a film like this for the gore and not the story anyway, but that isn’t the point. When there’s this much of a wait between new entries fans deserve better. The frustrating aspect is that Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues are capable of providing a worthwhile story along with the blood and guts because they gave it to us with Evil Dead. There’s nothing here worth the nine year gap between this and the last Texas Chainsaw film (Texas Chainsaw 3D) or the five year gap between this and Leatherface. When it’s not recycling gags from the original film or borrowing from other franchises, it’s just young people being dumb for the sake of a cheap scare or kill.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn’t as unwatchable as some reviews are making it out to be, but it’s not a good film by any stretch of the imagination. It’s barely 80-minutes long, so it has a relatively quick pace and the kills are solid. But the story is seriously lacking as there are elements that literally go nowhere; Lila’s backstory about why she’s so quiet doesn’t add much of anything other than a reason for her to never leave a padded cell when and if a sequel to this is ever made.
The problem now is that the successful film formula revolves around nostalgia, rehashing familiar sequences and storylines, and bringing back survivors for one final confrontation. This has all proven to crush the box office, especially during the pandemic. This results in there being no originality or creativity anymore; it’s just a repetition of what we’ve already seen. Until Leatherface can get a fresh face to wear, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is doomed to run in circles with a sputtering chainsaw on a mostly deserted road no one wants to travel down.