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Rachel King (13 KP) rated Keridan's Journey in Books

Feb 11, 2019

I stopped reading this book at page 88. I just could not stand the blatant lack of proper grammar and punctuation so prevalent on every page. Since I could not understand how something so bad could actually get published, I looked up the "book imprint" and realized that this is self-publishing at its worst. Michelle Peterson runs an art website and teaches art, then conceives of the idea to write her own book and create her own Imprint so that the book can be considered published. Really??
There are so many examples of bad grammar in this book, I don't know where to begin. Commas are so lacking, I want to cry. Specifically, when using prepositions or preposition-like modifiers, commas are needed. Also, compound sentences require the use of a comma. You would be surprised at how much a simple comma allows the reader to garner the true meaning of a sentence. Another example that illustrates how badly this book needed an editor is found on page 86: "I was left to wonder wear my tough skin went." Yes, you read that correctly.
Another huge problem I had with the book is the author's complete disregard for the writer's tool of "show, don't tell." While I understand that sometimes the rule can be disregarded, this book lacks in "showing" so much that I have no connection to any of the characters, and none of the events transpiring can compel any interest or emotional response in me. For example, on page 13, Keridan is thrust into a dream to speak with her mother. It reads "The smells, the colors are only this vibrant in a dream." That's it. No description, no picture painted with words, nothing is detailed, except in the most basic of words, such as "forest grove with flowers", "fairy dress", etc. I don't know what any of the characters look like, nor can I tell the difference between any of them.
I usually love fantasy, especially because of the imaginative descriptions that defy reality and convention, but (see? Comma!) even with a great concept of using the Greek myths of Sirens to build a world, this book is too disappointing and frustrating to be worth my time and energy. In all honesty, this book reads like a first draft of a novel after NanoWrimo -- messy, disorderly, and badly in need of a rewrite.