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You Said You Could Draw
You Said You Could Draw
2021 | Humor, Party Game
Excuse me, title of game, but I NEVER said I could draw. Is it just me or does nearly everyone feel the need to preface every drawing game with a declaration that they are horrible artists and will probably perform disastrously? I have found this to be the case, as least for myself and about 90%+ of the people with whom I play, and it is especially rampant with the tongue-out drawers in the world. But we all still enjoy the old favorites like Pictionary and Win, Lose, or Draw! How about if we add another gimmick to these classics in order to turn the games on their ears? Enter You Said You Could Draw.

In You Said You Could Draw (I will just acronymize to YSYCD) players are attempting to win the game by scoring the most points. The provided score board has space for each player to earn 20 points, though agreements could be made by players to stop at any number of points.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, but to give an idea of how the game is played. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign launching May 8, 2021, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup a game of YSYCD place the score board anywhere on the table and players choose which color board they wish to represent themselves. Players are also given a dry erase marker. The large deck of cards is placed somewhere near the score board, along with the blindfold. Players will roll the die to determine the first player, and the game may now begin!
YSYCD is played in turns until a player reaches the aforementioned ending score. On a turn a player will draw a card, roll the die, then draw. On each card is a list of six prompts to be drawn by the player and the result of the die roll determines which prompt the player must draw. Once the player is ready they will don the blindfold and begin drawing on the large board. When the masterpieces is complete the artist will write the name of the player they believe will guess correctly. Both the drawing process and the name writing are secret – no lookyloos! When the artist reveals their labor each player will secretly write their guess on their player boards, to be revealed simultaneously once all players have finished. The artist reveals their choice and the other players reveal their hilarious guesses. Points may now be awarded.

The artist will receive one point if at least one player has guessed correctly, with a bonus one point earned if the player they wrote on their board guessed correctly. Each player who guessed the prompt correctly also scores one point. If ALL players guess correctly except for one lonely player, the lonely player will earn a painful NEGATIVE two ( -2 ) points!


Players will notice that one prompt on each side of the card includes a star icon. Should this prompt be rolled for the turn the points awarded for the artists and correct guessers are three, versus the typical one. Play continues in this fashion until a player has reached the agreed score threshold and claims victory!
Components. This game boasts two large and eight smaller dry erase boards with eight dry erase markers. The boards are fine, but the markers (at least in this prototype version) are very low quality, especially the erasers. We resorted to using napkins for our erasing needs, as they did not smear as much. The 1d6 is fine, and the blindfold is very comfortable (thank you, JPN Games!). The cards are fine quality and there are 100 double-sided cards, offering 1200 prompt options to draw! I normally also cover art direction and theming here, but there is very little art, with most of it on the box cover. The box cover in this version features two players having a great time playing the game in a color VERY close to our logo’s Volt color. So I’m a fan of that for sure.

The rulebook is a simple folded cardstock that could easily become a duplexed sheet of paper or stock. The rules are incredibly simple to learn and teach, which makes this a great entry for families.

I recently broke this one out to play with my brother-in-law, his wife, and their twin 10-year-old children. When I say that it has been a long time since I laughed so hard while playing games, I certainly mean it. Most drawing games favor the talented artists of the group, but YSYCD offers the great equalizer – that blindfold. Sure, someone could be able to draw an excellent Sonic the Hedgehog (not a sponsor), but once you take away the spacial awareness drawing becomes a lot more difficult. And having a 10-year-old look into your eyes and tell you they drew a Chef instead of your guess of Quasimodo makes for a very interesting adult-child dynamic.

All in all I have had a great time with this game. The blindfold is what makes this special, and rolling the die to select the prompt causes each player to begin their turns on the same artistry level as their opponents. I dig that. A lot. I will be honest here – this is not a game that I would see at a store and be interested in buying or playing. But I gave it a shot with the family and I now have a party game that differs from my other party games in my collection and I am all the happier for it. You Said You Could Draw is not for the hard core gamer. It is for the gamer who needs a break from the brain burning and is able to relax a bit and have fun – even at their own expense. If this sounds interesting to you, I urge you to check out the Kickstarter campaign, launching May 8, 2021. Pick up a copy or two or twelve and give some away. The holidays are always just around the corner. Also, be warned that some children cannot accept that their Chef looks like Quasimodo. I learned this the hard way.
  
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Hadley (567 KP) rated Feed in Books

Sep 29, 2020  
Feed
Feed
Mira Grant | 2010 | History & Politics, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Thriller
2
6.5 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
Bloggers rule the world (0 more)
Writing (3 more)
Characters
Inconsistencies
Not a horror book, as marketed
What if a powerful virus was released in the air? What if you had to be tested for it every time you tried to walk into a building? Does this sound a little familiar? What if I told you this scenario was written about back in 2010?

In her novel Feed, writer Mira Grant gives readers this very scenario of an airborne, blood transferred virus; something that seems very familiar in today's environment and day-to-day living- - - just minus the zombies.

Grant started out as an urban fantasy writer known as Seanan McGuire, with her first full-length novel being Rosemary and Rue. She received the 2010 John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, as well as many other awards for her work in fiction. There are four books in the Newsflash series (Feed being the first of these).

We meet our main characters, Georgia and Shaun, while they're out in the 'field' filming some zombies for their blog. Shaun is the more careless one, as we witness him poking at zombies with his hockey stick. The two suddenly have to leave when the zombies become a pack. This is where it gets a little strange- - -Georgia explains to the readers that when zombies are in a pack, they become stronger and somehow smarter, but throughout the rest of the book, it's never really explained how this happens.

In this world, blogging and your view count determines your quality of life. Georgia and Shaun have spent years making their blog- - - After the End Times- - - into a popular blog. Every blogger's dream is to be picked to follow the campaign trail of any upcoming politician, and that is exactly what happens to our main characters. Unfortunately, this is when the book turns into a political thriller- - - this happens within the first fifty pages. Zombies end up taking a backseat from here-on-out.

We still get to learn about the virus (Kellis-Amberlee) throughout the book. We're told that any animal that weighs more than 40 pounds is capable of having the virus, and that some people are even born with a dormant-type of the virus inside of them, but this is also never explained in the entire story, at least in book one. Georgia makes it quite clear throughout the novel that she is completely against anyone owning pets that weigh over 40 pounds, but this is due-to her family having lost their younger son to a pet that went viral. This becomes extremely repetitive. Every time that an animal is brought up or seen, Georgia has to retell her stance on owning pets, when once or twice was enough to let the readers know where she stands on the subject.

There are moments of zombie attacks- - - such as after a political rally in a small town where Georgia and her crew are following Senator Ryman on his race to become President, when bodyguards are attacked by a small group of the undead, and Georgia and Shaun become cornered by a few of them- - - these scenes read as if to just keep the zombie trope going, not to actually make the story better. Grant continually repeats herself throughout the book, and because of this, the story didn't have to be as long as it is. Such as with these few zombie attacks, the reader never feels much danger for the characters. And I found that the characters turn out to just not be that likable.

One such character that had potential is Buffy; the backbone of the After the End Times blog. Scenes that were meant to make the reader care for her fell short. Unlike scenes with Georgia and Shaun, including the bond between them, is not felt with Buffy's scenes; she merely seems like a filler character to make certain parts of the story make sense by constantly disappearing and reappearing wherever need be.

Georgia does have an interesting quirk in the book. She harbors the dormant Kellis-Amberlee virus, which has effected her eyes. She can't be in bright lights because they give her blinding headaches, so she wears sunglasses nearly everywhere: " I collapsed onto our bed at the local four-star hotel a little after dawn, my aching eyes already squeezed shut. Shaun was a bit steadier on his feet and he stayed upright long enough to make sure the room's blackout curtains were drawn. "

The technical side of the story - - - the computer world and the electronic usage- - - in Feed is done pretty well. It's like the movie Nightcrawler meets 28 Days Later, but with a lot less zombies. We get to see the seedy underbelly of journalism- - - where bloggers are willing to do anything to get their view count high. Readers also get to witness how life is like living in a world held hostage by a virus - - -something that is very relatable today.

Georgia constantly reminds readers that she doesn't care about other people, and that Shaun is the only person she cares for- - - and, of course, the view count. She continually blames her lack of empathy on their adoptive parents, stating that they only took them in for the their own blog view counts. Oddly after such information, Shaun doesn't seem to be the immature one in the duo.

I haven't read the other three books, one which is a republishing of Feed, but from a different point-of-view. This story was disguised as a horror novel, but just ended up being a political thriller with some zombies thrown in for a much wider reading audience. The book skims over what life would be like after a devastating virus takes over, but focuses on what politics would be like. I can't recommend Feed as a horror novel; the tagline is also misleading: " 'The good news: we survived. The bad news: so did they. " Unless Grant was talking about politicians....

I didn't give the story a low rating because it wasn't exactly a horror book, but instead for these reasons: throughout the story, Grant repeats a lot of information that was explained earlier in the book (and only needed to be explained once); she also had inconsistencies throughout, sometimes even in the very next sentence. Adding things that needed to be explained which weren't, and the afterthoughts that broke up the flow of the story, I just couldn't enjoy it. But, if you like political thrillers, then you might like this one. I won't be continuing this series.
  
Zombie Kidz Evolution
Zombie Kidz Evolution
2018 | Horror, Kids Game, Zombie / Survivalist
You know how you are just browsing BGG and come across some surprising statistics? For example, if you click on a ranking number on a game’s profile page, it will take you to the entire list of games including that search term. I do not believe I had checked on “Children’s Game” ranks for quite some time, so I was taken aback when I noticed that Zombie Kidz Evolution ranks #1 overall, per BGG users. Well, heck. I have children. They like games. I should probably check this out, right? Absolutely!

Zombie Kidz Evolution is a cooperative, horror/zombies, dice rolliling, variable player powers, LEGACY game… for children?? Those mechanics do not scream “children” to me at all! What gives here? In this one, players take on the role of children protecting their schoolhouse from infiltrating zombies, and all players win or lose together. Through multiple plays, however, the game evolves and the way in which the game is played also evolves. Oh, and there’s also stickers, which ALL children love.


To setup, determine play count and which side of the board to play. Each player chooses a standee to represent them, place out one zombie tile in each area with a fence gate, and the other zombies randomly in a line near the board. The lock tokens should be placed nearby and the die is given to the starting player (in our house, my son, as he will cry if we didn’t). The player standees, “kids” from here out, are placed in the central room of the schoolhouse and the game is ready to begin!
Zombie Kidz Evolution is played over several turns, and each turn consists of three or four actions. First, the active player rolls the die. The die face determines in which school zone a zombie tile will spawn. There are five colored spaces relating to five of the six die faces, with one die face being blank – no zombies spawn on that roll. After placing the zombie tile in the appropriate zone, the player may move their kid to an adjacent zone or leave them where they are. However, if a zone contains three or more zombies, the kids cannot enter.

After movement, the player may then eliminate one or two zombies in their zone. This happens automatically – there are no combat mechanics. The player simply removes one or two zombie tiles and places them at the end of the line off-board. Should two kids occupy the same zone outside the school where a fence gate is unlocked, they may high-five and place a lock token on the gate. After this step, the die is passed to the next player for their turn.


The game continues in this fashion of taking turns spawning and eliminating zombies until the players have locked all four gates outside the schoolhouse. A brain sticker is applied to the appropriate space on the back of the rulebook to track victories, and if enough stickers have been applied, players may be allowed to open one of the 13 sealed envelopes. Inside these envelopes are an assortment of items, most of which I am unable to disclose. However, more stickers may be applied to certain components, thus changing their functions completely for subsequent plays – just as all good legacy games provide. If playing with children, expect to play several games in sequence, as it is very addicting.
Components. The physical components in this game are all fine. The standees, board, and tokens are unspectacular, but do their job. The die is cool, but under weak lighting the blue and green can be difficult to differentiate. I will not discuss anything contained in the envelopes, and I apologize for that, but I do not want to spoil anything. The art style, though, is what does it for me. Every component proudly displays amazing artwork, and half the fun is watching little ones stare and smile at the components on the table. My only request here, and I cannot believe I am saying this, is that I do wish the player pieces were minis instead of standees, but I understand the decision to keep the cardboard standees in to keep the price point super reasonable. Outside that, this little box has a ton of game inside it.

My 5-year-old son is completely addicted to this game! He requests we play almost every night, and I happily oblige, as I really enjoy it as well. Yes, it is very light. Hardcore gamers probably will not get much enjoyment out of it, though I could certainly be wrong as well. We have found it to provide so much joy to our family, and though the box says it is intended for ages 7+, I encourage parents of younger children to give it a try as well. The turns are simple: roll, spawn, move, remove, and possibly lock. We are a modern household, so zombies in this game are just “taken care of” instead of “killed,” so we are able to skirt our problematic verbiage. There isn’t much we can do to soften the art of all the kids wielding weapons, though, so beware if that is against your parenting style.

As a game, and especially as a children’s game, this one is just incredible. I can certainly understand why it is rated #1 in Children’s Games on BGG. The game tackles more advanced mechanics and throws them into a game meant for little ones. And it does this beautifully. Unfortunately, though, I have noticed that my son now is exhibiting some completionist behaviors, as he likes to complete missions in the rulebook so we can advance toward opening more and more envelopes. It is so very easy for Purple Phoenix Games to give this one a well-deserved 20 / 24. That score includes opinions from not only Laura and me, but also my wife and son. We all love it!

If you are looking for an lighter (at first) legacy game to get your feet wet, I cannot recommend Zombie Kidz Evolution enough. Adults may be able to breeze through a few games in a night, but don’t expect it to be a pushover. The die will still roll against your wishes and fill up zones you wanted to clear, and then that blocks your movement through that zone, or you may find it difficult to travel around the board very easily, as kids can only move one zone each turn, so when they are three zones away from trauma, the pressure becomes real. We have probably lost almost as many games as we have won, but we have always had a great time. And when you are spending this quality time with the people you love, “taking care of” zombies, you want to tell the whole world to enjoy the game as much as you have. So, go grab yourselves a copy right now!
  
Chronicles of Crime: 2400
Chronicles of Crime: 2400
2021 | Adventure, Deduction, Murder & Mystery, Science Fiction
I have reviewed and previewed the base Chronicles of Crime, and each of the entries in the Millennium Series (1400, 1900, and now 2400). I have the Noir expansion coming in my next order from an online retailer once another title gets off the pre-order list, and will most likely be ordering Welcome to Redvale soon as well. To say I am a fan of the series is a massive understatement. The system is just so unique and I love exploring the games inside. Now, I definitely prefer 1400 to 1900, but where does this newest entry fall in the pecking order? I bet you’re… dying… to find out!

Chronicles of Crime: 2400 (which I shall shorten to 2400 for the duration of this preview) is an app-assisted campaign, murder-infested, cooperative storytelling game for one to four players. If you are familiar with the original Chronicles of Crime, you already mostly know how to play 2400 (there are a few new mechanics here). However, should ye be of the uninitiated, allow me to set the stage for this incredible gaming experience.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided an advance retail copy of this game for the purposes of this preview. These are retail copy components, so they should be exactly what you would receive in your copy. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, purchase directly from the publisher, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup, place the Evidence Board in the middle of the table and the Home Location Board near. Keep all the decks of cards nearby (shuffled or unshuffled, whatever is your liking) as well as the alphabetically-labeled, double-sided Location Boards. Place out the Implant Board and the Raven card within reach (new to 2400). Fire up the Chronicles of Crime app, choose “2400,” and then choose the case you would like to play. The app will walk players through the additional setup steps for the case being played. For this solo preview the photos represent happenings in the Tutorial scenario. Also, to be completely upfront I got a perfect 100/100 for a final score… for the introductory Tutorial. Autographs can be purchased at the end of the preview.
Each of the cases will involve players traveling to different Location Boards and meeting Characters at these locations. Many cases will be involving several Special Items and, new for the 2400 version, augments to the main character, Kalia Lavel, and her cybernetically-enhanced pet Raven. The Raven (unnamed in the game) acts as a portable computer, able to access information across the web and provide insight into certain aspects of the case being solved.

By using the app and scanning the QR codes on the boards and cards players will be learning about the case, viewing the scene of the crime(s), inspecting items, chatting up locals for information, and also new for 2400: visiting new Cyberspace Locations (a la The Oasis in Ready Player One)! With so many new additions to the CoC series here in the 2400 chapter, seasoned vets will find something for which they can be excited.


Play will continue not so much in “rounds” but until the players have enough evidence and a good handle on the situation enough to return Home to recharge, or visiting HQ to divulge case information by scanning answers to their questions about the case. The app then assesses the accuracy of the answers and outputs a score. For reference, though I did receive 100/100 on my first play of 2400 I did only receive a 70/100 on my first runthrough of the original Chronicles of Crime, so playing this style of game several times seems to improve how one plays.
Components. As most items in the box of the game are card or cardboard-based, and all really great quality, I will speak on other component items. Firstly, the art and art style throughout the game is simply stunning. I mean look at those Location cards and character art! This art really speaks to me and it says, “I’m gorgeous.” As a side note, I think I will be contacting Lucky Duck Games to get my hands on the font used on the Evidence Category cards. It’s just a perfect choice in this setting.

The app. I have only great things to say about the app. It’s the same app that you would use for all Chronicles of Crime games, and operates the exact same way. For me it has been flawless to use and just a joy to bring technology into the gaming world, especially for a game set in the year 2400. I am obviously no purist game enthusiast, as I enjoy these hybrid model games. Once you play with the app you will see how ingenious a system it really is. The app coupled with the nondescript cards and other components in the game make for infinite storytelling possibilities that can only be limited by creativity and time constraints. I love the components in the box AND the marvelous app.

Gameplay for me is also just glorious. I love being able to sit down, setup the game, and let the app tell me what’s going on. So what should I do first? Oh, let’s mosey on down here to this Location Board and drum up some information. Ooh I found an Item! I should have the Raven scan it for any historical information. Hmm, it registers as being hot? Okay, time to go back to that location and speak with the other person who was in there. OH CRAP, I wasted too much (in game) time and now that other person is gone?! Uh oh, I better stop messing around here…

It’s just amazing, and I love this family of games. I am so stoked to delve more into 2400 and discover more shenanigans happening in futuristic Paris. My implants (no jokes here please), Raven, and I are out to solve all the cases and beg for more. If you are looking for a game that uses a hybrid board game/app model, are a fan of this setting, or just want to have a really great experience playing a game, I urge you to consider Chronicles of Crime: 2400. It has everything I love in a unique game and I just can’t get enough! Oh, and for me, this is the best one of the bunch. I don’t know what it is exactly that I love so much, but it adds the right amount of extra stuff to CoC that I just feel like playing these scenarios endlessly. That is, until I have run out of scenarios and have to cry to LDG or fans to create more and more. If only I were more creative.
  
If I Stay (2014)
If I Stay (2014)
2014 | Drama
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.

Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.

Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.

First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.

Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.


If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.

(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)
  
EP
Enthralled: Paranormal Diversions
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Journeys, literal or otherwise, are the theme of this young adult anthology. Appropriately enough, it was conceived as the result of a book tour.

"Giovanni’s Farewell" by [a:Claudia Gray|1192311|Claudia Gray|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1234643683p2/1192311.jpg] is a sweet, coming-of-age story of sorts. The twist is that it features a brother and sister, twins, rather than just one person. They visit Rome with a school group while dealing with major changes in their lives. There was too much background crammed into a short story, but it was interesting.

[a:Carrie Ryan|1443712|Carrie Ryan|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1343410049p2/1443712.jpg]'s "Scenic Route" is a disturbing, post-apocalyptic story set in the world of [b:The Forest of Hands and Teeth|3432478|The Forest of Hands and Teeth (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #1)|Carrie Ryan|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1320633297s/3432478.jpg|3473471] about two young sisters trying to survive in an isolated cabin. The older sister keeps the younger one occupied with the planning of a road trip that will never happen, always hoping against hope that the girl won't realize what their reality is. How long can they stay isolated enough to survive? Bloody, frightening, and visceral.

"Red Run" by [a:Kami Garcia|2895706|Kami Garcia|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1289693388p2/2895706.jpg] is the story of a girl who has lost the only person she loves in the world, and the trip she takes to avenge his death. How do you hunt a ghost? Maybe it isn't fair, coming right after Ryan's story, but I didn't truly feel the main character's feelings.

[a:Jackson Pearce|2761947|Jackson Pearce|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1336840299p2/2761947.jpg]'s "Things About Love" is a sweet story involving a jinn researching love. I felt like I'd come into the middle of something, so I checked and found that she's written a novel, [b:As You Wish|6750586|As You Wish|Jackson Pearce|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1319175193s/6750586.jpg|6217232], in the same setting. While this story technically stands on its own, it would probably be enriched by having read As You Wish.

"Niederwald" by [a:Rachel Vincent|415967|Rachel Vincent|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1262900481p2/415967.jpg] is the first story I've read in her Soul Screamers series. Sabine, a macha (nightmare), takes a road trip with a human acquaintance and detours to Niederwald, Texas, home to the harpies. No, there's no way that could go wrong. Of course you know from the moment they hit the parking lot that it will go wrong, but at least it's an interesting sort of wrong.

[a:Melissa Marr|175855|Melissa Marr|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1192302741p2/175855.jpg]'s "Merely Mortal" feels as though it's probably set in the same world as her Wicked Lovely series.

"Facing Facts" by [a:Kelley Armstrong|7581|Kelley Armstrong|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1199068298p2/7581.jpg] is set in her Darkest Powers universe. I read the first of those books, but obviously a lot has passed since then, and there were spoilers in this story. It really centers around Chloe and Tori, with a little Derek tossed in. Tori learns something she doesn't want to know and reacts badly, running off on her own, which is dangerous. Chloe goes after her and they get into trouble. That seemed rather predictable to me, but at least the type of trouble wasn't what I expected. Tori doesn't seem to have changed since the first book, but Chloe is coming into control of her abilities.

[a:Sarah Rees Brennan|836009|Sarah Rees Brennan|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1254149255p2/836009.jpg]'s "Let’s Get this Undead Show on the Road" is about a boy band that features a vampire, Christian. He's an unusual vampire, all alone without a nest or a sire. His journey seems to be about his identity as a vampire, although the band is on tour and has another sort of journey to make, as well.
 
"Bridge" by [a:Jeri Smith-Ready|56019|Jeri Smith-Ready|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1204922569p2/56019.jpg] is told from a ghost's point of view, 233 days after death. It's frustrating being a ghost, because most people can't see or hear you. There are things you have to accomplish before moving on, though, that require communication with the living. Finding a "bridge" and working things out takes a lot of effort. This was a touching story, bittersweet and well-told.

[a:Kimberly Derting|2755160|Kimberly Derting|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1229976464p2/2755160.jpg]'s "Skin Contact" nearly broke me. Rafe is looking for his girlfriend. He knows where he needs to go, and he's guided by dreams. This story nearly broke me. It's told sparingly, and something feels perfectly right about it, but it hurts. According to her author biography, Rafe was introduced in her novel Desires of the Dead.

"Leaving" by [a:Ally Condie|1304470|Ally Condie|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1325882614p2/1304470.jpg] is a very literary story, about a girl left behind after her mother dies and her father leaves. She spends the story preparing to go after her father. It's hard to describe much more than that, or to have much of an opinion. It was well-written and I think I'll probably remember it for a long time.

[a:Jessica Verday|1290625|Jessica Verday|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1243816082p2/1290625.jpg]'s "At The Late Night, Double Feature, Picture Show" is a darkly funny story about a girl from a family of monster hunters. She's usually the bait, but tonight she has decided to be the hunter — without backup. I'd like to read more from Verday.

"IV League" by [a:Margaret Stohl|2895707|Margaret Stohl|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1241421033p2/2895707.jpg] just didn't hit me right. It's the story of a bunch of southern vampires on a college tour, which could have been funny but wasn't written that way. The whole thing just didn't sit well with me, perhaps because the main character seemed too unrealistically out of touch for someone who obviously had access to television and the internet.

[a:Mary E. Pearson|123463|Mary E. Pearson|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1238978651p2/123463.jpg]'s "Gargouille" is the most touching love story in the collection. Just read it.

"The Third Kind" by [a:Jennifer Lynn Barnes|164187|Jennifer Lynn Barnes|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1243935916p2/164187.jpg] is, on the surface, about a road trip to San Antonio. The real journey is much deeper, one of coming to understanding one's calling.

[a:Rachel Caine|15292|Rachel Caine|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1272650500p2/15292.jpg]'s Morganville is the setting for her "Automatic." I think I've read a Morganville novella, but my memory of it is dim. The Morganville Blood Bank introduces an automated withdrawal machine, essentially a soda can dispenser. Michael Glass is ordered to try it first, as a demonstration for the older, more traditional vampires, with unexpected results. His journey is one of self-knowledge. I didn't really care much about him, his journey, his girlfriend, or anything else. The setting and characters do nothing for me, but your mileage may vary.

Altogether, the anthology was worth reading. There were some low spots, but that's true of any collection. To be fair, I'm sure someone who is more enthusiastic about young adult fiction would also be more enthusiastic about the works here.
  
Goodnight Mister Tom
Goodnight Mister Tom
Michelle Magorian, Neil Reed | 2014 | Children
8
9.0 (8 Ratings)
Book Rating
In September 1939, as Britain stands on the brink of the war, many young children from the cities are evacuated tot he countryside to escape an imminent German bombardment. Willie Beech, a boy from Deptford who is physically and emotionally abused by his mother, arrives at the home of Tom Oakley, a widower in his sixties who lives in the village of Little Weirwold. The boy is thinly clad, underfed and covered with painful bruises, and believes he is full of sin, a result of his upbringing by his mother, a domineering, insane, God-fearing widow.
"Mister Tom", as William christens his new guardian, is reclusive and bad-tempered, and as such is avoided by the community. Willie lives with him as his Mother wants him to live with someone who is either religious or lives next to a church. Though initially distant, he is touched after discovering William's home-life and treats him with kindness and understanding, helping to educate him. Under his care, William begins to thrive, forming a small circle of friends at school among his classmates including fellow-evacuee Zach. He also becomes proficient in drawing and dramatics. As William is changed by Tom, so is Tom transformed by William's presence in his home. It is revealed that Tom lost his wife and baby son to Scarlatina some 40 years previously, and he has become reclusive because of this.
The growing bond between William and Tom is threatened when William's mother requests that the boy returns to her in the city, telling him she is sick. At first, William thinks this will be a good thing, as he can be helpful to his mother. However, his mother is not pleased to learn the details of his time with Tom, feeling that he has not been disciplined properly. While William has been away, she has become pregnant and had a girl, but is neglecting the baby. After a bad reunion, where his mother becomes furious upon learning the details of her son's life with Tom, abhorring his association with the Jewish Zach among other things, she hits William and puts him in the under-stairs cupboard, chains him to the piping. William regains consciousness briefly to find himself in the cupboard – he has been stripped of his clothes, minus his underwear, and his ankle is twisted. He quietly sobs for Tom, before he falls asleep.
Back in Little Weirwold, Tom has a premonition that something is not right with William. Although he has never travelled beyond his immediate locality, he ventures into London and eventually locates William's neighbourhood of Deptford and his home. He persuades a local policeman to break down the door of the apparently empty home, to be greeted with a vile stench. They find William in the closet with the baby, who had also been locked under the stairs by William's mother and has now died. William is malnourished and badly bruised as he had been locked under the stairs for a number of days. William is hospitalised, but whilst there suffers horrific nightmares and is drugged simply to prevent his screams from disturbing other children. Tom is warned that it is likely that William will be taken to a children's home, and, unable to observe William's distress any longer, kidnaps him from the hospital and takes him back to Little Weirwold.
Back with Mister Tom, William is much damaged by his ordeal and is also blaming himself for the death of his sister as he had not been able to provide enough milk to feed her whilst locked away, and becomes very depressed. Later, when his favourite teacher Annie Hartridge has a baby, William is shocked to learn from Zach that a woman cannot conceive a child on her own, and realises that his mother was having a relationship with a man, even though she had previously told him that it was wrong for unmarried couples to live together or have children together (something which society in general had regarded as unacceptable at this time). Tom is traced by the authorities, who have come to tell William that his mother is dead, having committed suicide. They also offer him a place in a children's home, as they've been unable to trace any other relatives who may have been able to take care of him. Luckily the authorities realise that William has already found a good home and allow Tom to adopt him.
Tom, William and Zach then enjoy a holiday at the seaside village of Salmouth, where they stay in the house of a widow whose sons have been sent out to war. Zach then receives news that his father has been injured by a German bomb in London and he hurries home on the next train saying farewell to all his friends. Unfortunately this is the last time they see him. William later learns that Zach has been killed and is grief-stricken for some time, but his grief is later healed by another recluse, Geoffery Sanderton. Geoffery, a young man who had lost a leg during the war and takes William for private art lessons,recognises the signs of grief and gives William a pipe to paint along with a picture of two smiling young men. One of the men is Geoffery and he tells William about the loss of his own best friend, the other man in the picture and the owner of the pipe. This is when William starts to come to terms with Zach's death. Adding to this, Doctor Little, the village doctor, who was Zach's guardian while he was evacuated, is surprised but pleased when William asks to have Zach's bike. Through learning to ride it, William realises that Zach lives on inside him and he will never forget his wonderful companion that Zach was.
In the months following, William grows closer to Carrie, one of his friends. One night, on returning home to Tom (whom he now calls "Dad"), he thinks back on how much he has changed since arriving in Little Weirwold and realises that he is growing.
Goodnight Mr Tom Wiki.

Goodnight Mr Tom was published by Kestrel in 1981 and later on in that same year in the US by Harper and Row. The book won Author Michelle Magorian the annual Guardian Children's fiction prize. Magorian was also a runner up for the Carnegie Medal. The book has been adapted as a Movie, a play and a musical. The most recent theatrical adaption won the Laurence Olivier award for Best Entertainment.

I came across the book when I was 10/11 years old. I needed the book for English at primary school, since we needed to read the book and complete a series of assignments for our teacher. I have in the subsequent years read and re-read the book. The book is rather good and I recommand it for children from the ages of 9/10 upwards. The book is a good representation of what happened during WW2 in a fictional setting. And William and Mr Tom healing each other from what they both experienced (Tom loosing family to Scarlatina and William being abused by his mother). I give the book an 8/10.
  
A Deadly Education: Lesson One of the Scholomance
A Deadly Education: Lesson One of the Scholomance
Naomi Novik | 2020 | Paranormal, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Young Adult (YA)
8
7.2 (6 Ratings)
Book Rating
A darker version of Harry Potter (1 more)
Witchcraft/occult
Main character was unlikable (1 more)
Too much internal dialogue
It's nice knowing that books about witches aren't dead. The main idea of Naomi Novik's new novel, A Deadly Education - - - a new series with the second book already slated to release in 2021 - - - is about a school of magic that is focused on survival. Of course, this may bring about similarities of J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series, but this story is no way the same, A Deadly Education is a much darker witch school story with young murderers and also monsters that eat the students alive.

Yet this dark and morbid story is about a young girl who has been foreseen to possess powers that could destroy millions of people as our main character, and she can be quite off-putting at times. Her personality - - - a need to be liked, but refuses to allow anyone to like her, her need to show that she is always the smartest person in the room, and her blatant rudeness to a young man that saves her life more than once - - - makes it hard, as a reader, to root for this character. She does have moments of dark humor that made me laugh, moments of sarcasm that were pretty good, but she quickly assumes that everyone hates her and wants her to die before making it to senior graduation.

Galadriel is her name, but she prefers to go by El, and both of her parents were students at this Scholomance. She begins by talking about different kinds of witches there are at the school, including ones that use malia. Malia is a form of magic that takes it's mana from living things, including people. One such student she knows that uses malia is Yi Liu. El describes how malia of this sort slowly kills the one using it by telling the reader that Liu's eyes are turning all white, and her nails have gone completely black (and it's not polish).

Early on, readers are told about enclaves at the school, usually rich kids whose families have had more survivors from graduating classes than others. Students who are not part of these cliques know that it is very important to try to get an invitation to join one before senior year because your chances of survival are higher with a group than by yourself. El spends most of her time debating whether she wants to be part of one or not; her shifts in decisions are quite annoying. After she is saved by a student named Orion Lake, who is an enclaver from New York, she quickly decides to use him to obtain a seat in his enclave: " I couldn't blame her, really. It wasn't stupid to want to be pals with Orion if that looked like a real possibility. Aadhya's family lives in New Jersey: if she got into the New York enclave, she could probably pull them all inside. And I couldn't afford to alienate one of the vanishing few people who are willing to deal with me. "

Throughout the story, El becomes angrier and angrier every time that Lake saves her from being killed (which ends up almost being ten times), but one such time that he isn't able to, readers finally get to see what her powers have taught her, and this is practically the only time that we do: while an attack is happening in the library, El decides to go after Lake and help him save other students, but you can easily get lost in the library due to the shelves constantly moving, or you can be eaten because of the dark areas the shelves create; this is when a giant creature appears called a maw-mouth: "My whole body was clenched and waiting for it, and in the next flare of deep-red light I met half a dozen human eyes watching me, scattered over the thick rolling folds of the translucent, glossy mass that was just bulging its way out of the vent, many mouths open and working for air. " El tells us that the only way to stop a maw-mouth is to give it indigestion. "I stopped, and I used the best of the nineteen spells I know for killing an entire roomful of people, the shortest one; it's just three words in French, a la mort, but it must be cast carelessly, with a flick of the hand that most people get wrong, and if you get it even a little wrong, it kills you instead. " She does it correctly and the maw-mouth is defeated.

El believes that she saved a majority of the students from being killed by defeating the maw-mouth, but when she goes to breakfast the next morning, she finds out that a student had been 'poached' by a senior student. Every student's dorm room has a wall or spot that is nothing but a black abyss, where if anything that enters it will disappear forever. 'Poaching' is an act that has happened at the school before, and it's when a student pushes another student into the void, usually to take over their dorm room because the former's is unsafe. Oddly, this isn't surprising that it happened, when life at the school is life or death, people, especially teenagers, will make rash decisions without adults being present - - - yes, there are no teachers at this school, and everything seems to appear out of thin air.

The novel finally picks up pace when the wall leading to the graduation hall, which contains two maw-mouths for the senior class, is starting to break away, threatening to release any and all creatures into the school: "If a hole opened up to the graduation hall before the senior dorms were closed off, the seniors went from being the whole buffet to the toughest and most stale entrees on the menu. "

When the students decide to work together to patch up the hole, they soon find out that the senior students don't want it patched up: " 'But we also don't want to let you buy your lives with ours. That's what I hear seniors saying. Not, let's rip open the school, but why don't we make you, your class, graduate with us. Your class are the ones Orion has saved the most.' Chloe flinched visibly, and a lot of the other kids at our table tensed. 'So? Are you all willing to do that, graduate early, to save the poor little freshmen? If not, you can stop ' - - - she waved a hand in a spiraling circle, making a gesture of drama - - -'about how evil we are because we don't want to die...' "

The atmosphere in the story makes the threat of death in the school very real, but Novik's main character isn't well-written; there are side characters that I found much more interesting than El, and were better written. Lake is even a better character - - - especially when readers find out why he has a need to save people - - - I honestly believe it would have been a better story from Lake's point-of-view. Also, the amount of explaining that Novik does in the novel really breaks up the flow of the story, sometimes stopping right in the middle of an important scene just to explain something about the school.

I will be reading the sequel when it comes out because I do want to know what happens to a lot of the side characters and their senior graduation, but I can only recommend this book to people who love stories about witches and the occult. As for horror fans, I don't think you would get your fix from this novel.
  
Wuthering Heights
Wuthering Heights
Lucasta Miller, Emily Brontë, Pauline Nestor | 2003 | Fiction & Poetry
9
7.4 (43 Ratings)
Book Rating
Stands up (2 more)
Enthralling
Unique
Dislikable characters (1 more)
Difficult accents without translations
I will do my best to review this, however, I didn't heed the intro, this tour de force really does leave you as quickly as it comes, and reading another book before reviewing this one was a mistake.
 
   In reading reviews prior to reading this book, I learned three major things; 1, people either love or hate this book, 2. I had no idea what I was actually in for, and 3. this may have not been the romantic pick for February I was expecting it to be.

  So yes, PSA for anyone out there considering going into this thinking it's a romance. It is NOT. There are love stories in this, absolutely, powerful love stories that made me read quotes to my boyfriend with snarky statements like "if you don't say this at my funeral, did you ever really love me?". But it is NOT a romance. If anything this has more in common with "The Count of Monte Cristo" than it does "Pride and Prejudice". Honestly, the only thing it has in common with other, romantic books of this time, is the time period. But beware, no balls and high society and Mr. Darcy's await you in this novel. I feel a number of the reviews decrying the book, calling the characters "monstrous" both were the orchestrators of their own disappointment by assuming it to be like an Austin, and really need to look in the mirror and reflect on if they are really as perfect as they think they are. Especially if they were in the circumstances that surround this tale.

   I find that Heathcliff himself addresses this mistake many readers had going into this book.
"picturing in me a hero of romance, and expecting unlimited indulgences from my chivalrous devotion. I can hardly regard her in the light of a rational creature, so obstinately has she persisted in forming a fabulous notion of my character and actin gon false impressions she cherished."
SO many readers went into this expecting Heathcliff to be some misunderstood brute or one harsh but salvaged by the purity of his love of Catherine. But this isn't the case.
 
    Wuthering Heights tells the story of (I guess technically 3) but really 2 generations of families. Living in the Yorkshire Moors, isolated from high society. We have the Liptons, primmer and properer and more in touch with society, and the Earnshaws which become a little rough around the edges in their isolation and loss. Papa Earnshaw has two children, Catherine and Hindley, and adopts a small boy of unknown heritage but is implied to be Romani or of mixed race (sorry Tom Hardy and nearly every portrayal of Heathcliff), that he names, simply, Heathcliff. He loves Heathcliff, and dotes on him greatly, much to the chagrin of Hindly who grows to resent Heathcliff, treating him terribly until Hindly leaves for school. Catherine and Heathcliff become great playmates, their care is given primarily to a maid scarcely older than them, as Papa Earnshaw is a single daddy. They are wild things, as children I would assume would be, in such isolation as the Yorkshire Moors in a time before the creature comforts and entertainment we have. They grow very close, obsessively close. Upon Papa Earnshaw's death, Hindley returns (at around the age of 23) to run the household, and take over the care of these two youngsters, one of which, he hates. So, Cinderella-style, Heathcliff gets treated worse and worse and treated like a servant rather than the adoptive child that Papa Earnshaw loved so dearly. Suddenly Heathcliff is nothing, treated terribly, and has the most important thing in his life banned from him, Catherine. Meanwhile, the Liptons also have two children, not wild, but spoilt in their own ways, Edgar and Isabella, close in age to Heathcliff and Catherine. When H and C run off on a camping adventure and find themselves at the Lipton's house, Catherine is injured and stays with the Liptons, in their higher society for 5 weeks. Leaving Heathcliff to the abuse of her brother and further isolation. She returns much more a lady and with her connection to Heathcliff slightly burned. In an attempt to protect Heathcliff, and because Heathcliff is now no more than a servant and not an option to marry, Catherine intends to marry Edgar. Causing our resident bad boy to run off for a number of years. Only to return a proper, but still broody gentleman, and confuse Catherine's affection much to the displeasure of Edgar.

  Now, this is where a number of shows and movies end things. With a focus on Catherine and Heathcliff's whirlwind romance, obsession. It has some of the most to the point and beautiful lines regarding love, not all flowery, not "I love you most ardently" but rather cries of "I am Heathcliff" by Catherine. Absolutely heart-rending, even though I didn't like Catherine. But this is not where the book ends. The book goes on to follow Heathcliff's obsession with revenge, with his treatment as a child, his rage against Hindley, and against losing Catherine to Edgar. He spends years slowly ruining everyone's lives. Not that you could really ruin Hindley's life, he was a mean drunk. But he even goes as far as to meddle with the next generation, Hindley's son Hareton is raised terribly and is a bit of a wild thing (those his redemption and love story is quite beautiful), Catherine's daughter Cathy and Heathcliff's son Lipton are whisked up into a big scheme by Heathcliff to take everything. Heathcliff even marry's out of pure spite.

   Love does not redeem this man, he's barely an antihero without his youth story. He is angry and passionate and obsessed. Which for the first half of the book I didn't fault him for, but he does do some damnable things in the second half that you cannot argue away. No matter how romantic and beautiful and heartrending his lamentations can be. I was quite the character arc, quite the tale of revenge and loss. He was unredeemable because of his big sprawling schemes and harsh intentions. Catherine for me was unredeemable because she was an obnoxious, selfish thing, that honestly if Heathcliff had stopped thinking about two minutes would have found a better woman in every town. She whined and treated Edgar (who was honestly super sweet) so terribly, she had an anger problem and would work herself up until she was sick. But it is in this imperfection that I fell in love more with the book. Here is something unique and real, this is no Elizabeth Bennett. The isolation and hermetic lifestyle created very different characters than what we see in Jane Austin or even in Emily's sister's novel.

   It's no wonder this book was harshly critiqued upon release, here is a woman, writing a revenge story, with love stories in it. That based on the biographical intro had some parallels to her own life. She lived an isolated existence, surrounded by the death of the majority of her family young. She was in her late 20s when she wrote this and died a year after publication. She made humans of monsters and monsters of humans and wrote something unexpected and truly unique.

   It's hard for me to explain, amongst the harshness and bleakness of this novel, why I loved it so much. But I did, I loved every bit. The anger, the passion, the love, the scheming, I loved it all.
I also feel it's important to note that this whole story is told by a maid to a new tenant. So the narrator is unreliable. Were these people truly this way? Or is it clouded by this maid's opinions of them? How much is omitted due to the maid not being privy to an event?

Truly a fantastic read, that punched me in my chest and gut, grabbed and twisted my insides and refuses to let go. I would argue it's a cult classic rather than a classic. So please, shed all preconceived notions of what this book is, shake that Austin out of your mind and read this tale of obsession and revenge. It's well worth it.
  
40x40

Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated The Umbrella Academy in TV

Sep 19, 2020 (Updated Jan 22, 2021)  
The Umbrella Academy
The Umbrella Academy
2018 | Action, Fantasy
I came to this gloriously colourful, energetic and super smart comic book adaptation in August (when Netflix advertised season 2), at a time of lockdown where I really needed something cheerful and fun to keep me going. It worked so well I watched both full seasons twice over, back to back, and key episodes 3 times! A rare thing indeed for me and a TV show.

Since then the rigours of isolation have set me back with a really long backlog for The Wasteland – currently I have a list of over 40 cultural artifacts I want to talk about and share with you- but, I am very glad to be talking about this one today, as even though it wasn’t that long ago, it evokes such fond happy memories of becoming just a little bit obsessed by something. A phenomenon that only seems to happen when you go into something with low to medium expectations and come out feeling like you have found a diamond in the rough.

The concept of 7 children with mysterious powers being adopted and raised by a shady and strict, umbrella wielding, father has been around a few years in the form of several graphic novels, penned by My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way. You can feel the vibe of something slightly emo and arty coming through – just cool enough but also self conscious; melancholy and dark in places but also lots of sardonic fun. But, unlike the books, which often look stark and minimal, the world created by show runner and director Steve Blackman is vivid and full to the brim with things to overwhelm the senses.

For the last few years, and especially of late, the Superhero genre has been so oversaturated that it is almost impossible to come up with anything original, but The Umbrella Academy together with Amazon’s The Boys, definitely manage to do that. It has enough mystique to be intriguingly confusing for the first few episodes, as we piece together the Hargreaves’ past that has led to the current situation, and discover the dynamic tension that exists between the adopted siblings. Oh, and there is a talking chimpanzee butler / guardian called Pogo, that feels like CGI gimmickery for a while, before growing into something truly wonderful.

The first thing you notice about this set of misfits, as they reassemble for their father’s funeral after years of bitterness and estrangement, is that they are all a little bit broken and uncomfortable in their own skins – their powers as individuals are all a bit, well frankly underwhelming, and their personalities are not exactly attractive in every case. Season one is all about re-establishing connections and working through identity crises. In many ways it is a coming of age story, as circumstances lead to them needing to grow up fast and join together to achieve true power. It works both on the surface and as a deeper allegory.

As each main character is introduced you inevitably get drawn into ranking them from most to least favourite, and the trick of it is how much those feelings shift as the story progresses. Everyone loves Klaus, the twitchy junkie who can see dead people, his completely non heroic yet hilariously stoned outlook gives him many of the best lines and most fun scenes. I changed allegiance several times with the others, but Klaus, played by the charismatic Irish actor Robert Sheehan, always remained my favourite, because of his hippie rockstar vibe. Although it’s hard not to have a soft spot for Number 5, the time travelling schoolboy that has been missing for years and re-emerges as a middle aged man still trapped in the boys’ body. Aiden Gillen is superb in conveying that he is older whilst always looking like a teenager, and in many ways he is the true pivot and anchor of the story.

I suppose before the show aired it was Ellen Page that was the “star” draw amongst the young and mostly unknown cast of “heroes”. As Vanya, the only Hargreaves child never to demonstrate a power, and held aside by their controlling father, she is the outsider and most insecure of the bunch. You sense her storyline is going to be crucial to the whole shebang, and so it turns out, but her fame as an actress of note never overshadows the show as a whole – it feels instantly like a group effort, and in that sense a true family, the deeper you get into it.

I could go on explaining each character and the details of the intricate plot forever, but I would never do it justice. The only way to see what the fuss is about is to watch it. Anything else would just sound like mad confusion to the uninitiated. All I can say is that it does an incredible job of unfolding its charms and secrets piece by piece. So much so that by the climax of season two I am still not entirely sure we have all the information necessary to know what is going on in a complete sense; there are several questions and mysteries still to be unearthed, and I like that very much.

I have recommended this show to anyone I know who enjoys something entertaining that has substance yet doesn’t take itself too seriously – so that is everyone then! I think it’s allure is that very thing: it manages to hit a zeitgeist of perfect balance between a smart script and plotline with many cliffhangers, and enough disposable moments of fun, to be exactly what the modern Netflix viewer is looking for. Super easy to watch with one eye or with both, depending on what mood you are in.

There is also the style of the thing – a veritable candy box of colours and neat visual tricks, mixed in with some of the best musical montage sequences I have ever seen. I understand from several interviews that Steve Blackman specifically wrote certain scenes around the feel of a piece of music he wanted to include. That is a clever way of building a cult following: find songs that both tell a story and appeal to the cool kids, then use them as mini music video segments that punctuate the heavier elements of storytelling. It’s not a new trick, but the song choices here are so good that it has rarely been done this well before.

It all works especially well as we move into season two and an historical context that brings up a lot of pertinent issues for some of the siblings regarding race, sexuality and other freedoms of identity that can be taken for granted in the modern era. I don’t want to spoil too much of that here, but suffice to say as a hook to pin the themes on it is a genius touch that makes season two a huge leap forward on something that was already pretty decent in season one. All the characters become more rounded and relatable, even the so called bad guys – an increasingly eccentric bunch of creations that leave you in no doubt this is a comic book world not to be confused with reality.

At time of writing, a third season has still not being given the greenlight. Considering the massive cliffhanger we are left with at the end of season two, and how big the cult following seems to be by now, it would be an absolute crime not to allow it to continue. The only reason I can see it wouldn’t is that the stories of the source material are now exhausted, and anywhere they go from here will need to be truly original. However, there is so much scope to do almost anything from here that I don’t see it as any kind of issue.

If you haven’t seen it, I urge you whole-heartedly to give it a go. There really is something in there to please everyone, except perhaps the most serious minded of realists. Even then, they’d be hard pressed not to raise a smile or tap a toe at some of the best musical moments of emo hero mayhem.