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graveyardgremlin (7194 KP) rated Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later in Books
Feb 15, 2019
<b><i>"What a stupid book."</i></b>
That was my initial thought after turning the final page of <b>Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later</b>.
As a pre-teen, I was addicted to the <u>Sweet Valley High</u> series, and then later, the <u>Sweet Valley University</u> series as well. Before that even, I had read some of the Twins and Kids series, so when I heard this was coming out last year, I just knew I had to read it. I was excited beyond compare and went into full geek-out mode. Where are the perfect size-six Wakefield twins, and their friends and enemies, now? What are their occupations? Who are they dating or who'd they marry? And my questions kept going on and on. What has inspired this obsession? It's not like these books were high literature, but somehow they became ingrained into my life to this very day and I cannot help but remember SVH fondly.
It is nearly impossible to review the story within the covers without spoilers, but I am going to try my darnedest. Some cursing may or may not be involved.
<b>Short synopsis</b> (snarky comments in parentheses ;P):
Jessica has betrayed Elizabeth. <i>(Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she did. Anyone who's read the books could make an accurate guess.)</i> The Ultimate Betrayal. <i>(Oooooh!)</i> Elizabeth flees to New York. Elizabeth is a slightly sympathetic bitter victim/martyr who craves revenge throughout the book. Jessica is supposed to be a sympathetic betrayer/victim who's heartsick at destroying her sister. <i>(I don't buy it.)</i> Tons of reminiscing flashbacks ensue throughout the book, sometimes the same ones told by different characters, and take up about half of it, so there's barely any plot. Book ends with a thirteen-page <i>Where Are They Now?</i>-type epilogue that tells old fans what has happened to many major supporting characters from the original high school series. <i>(Apparently no one is allowed to be happy. And anyone you may have originally liked from SVH has turned into a big dick. WTF?)</i>
I expected to enjoy this as the usual over-the-top, soap opera stories I remember, but revamped a bit. Sadly, I was left feeling underwhelmed, disappointed, annoyed, and rather pissed off. For one thing, I could not buy the main betrayal -- <spoiler>Jessica and Todd?! In love!!?? Really? In what surreal dimension does that make any kind of sense? This broke the book for me. How can I believe anything else if this doesn't ring true. A passionate affair, sure. A one-night stand, why not? But actual 'til death do us part nonsense? Bull. Not when it's almost always been the Elizabeth and Todd, "made-for-each-other" type of thing. I actually wouldn't have minded if E & T hadn't ended up together, but for Todd to be with Jessica, that's just madness, plain and simple.</spoiler> -- it was just so unbelievable. And I mean that in a Sweet Valley way, which we all know is not steeped in any form of actual reality, so my standards are quite low and I expect the extraordinary and overwrought. So from this point on, which is within the first two chapters, I struggled, but somehow managed to read on. I admit, I gagged more than few times throughout the book. Who wouldn't when faced with passages such as this one,
<blockquote>"And what faces they were.
Gorgeous. Absolutely amazing. The kind you couldn't stop looking at. Their eyes were shades of aqua that danced in the light like shards of precious stones, oval and fringed with thick, light brown lashes long enough to cast a shadow on their cheeks. Their silky blond hair, the cascading kind, fell just below their shoulders. And to complete the perfection, their rosy lips looked as if they were penciled on. There wasn't a thing wrong with their figures, either. It was if billions of possibilities all fell together perfectly.
Twice."
-page 9/10</blockquote>
I hope you managed to hold onto your last meal. I barely did. I also had to endure "his beloved," "his love," and other similar nauseating descriptions.
This is not the PG-rated books from the past, the word "orgasm" is actually used. So is the F-bomb and other expletives. *gasp* Seriously, it does push the boundaries more than the innocent SVH series, but it's not very shocking by today's standards. Except that it does involve the Wakefield Twins, which was strange at first. Of course, current trends had to pop up, like Twitter and Facebook, Justin Timberlake and Beyonce, which always makes a book better and doesn't date it in the least. (That was heavy sarcasm in case you weren't sure.) The book does refer to some incidents and people from the SVU series, but only certain elements, otherwise it's mainly a continuation of high school and no one from the university days actually appears in the book.
Neither Elizabeth nor Jessica felt true to form, especially Jessica, and in fact, none of the characters, whether seen or just talked about, were right. Sure, some people change and some don't, but not a one was recognizable. Where did these strangers with the same names come from? Why couldn't there have been some semblance of the original shining through? Again, I have a hard time with the basis of the book, so that has severely colored my view of the entire thing, but as it stands, it was a complete waste of a good idea. I'd be willing to bet that any fan of SVH could come up with something a million times better than this dreck. Wasn't there an original ghostwriter available? You know, someone who might actually know the world and characters, and have the skill to develop them both in a believable manner?
The writing is rather clunky and purple-ly, often managing both at the same time. Redundancy abounds, editing mistakes, including wrong names and inconsistencies to previous events in SVH-iverse, and lots of use of the words "like" and "so", more-so in Jessica's narrative than anywhere else, which was really, really, so, like, irritating. Like, really. Ms. Pascal must have had a thesaurus at the ready, because there were big words awkwardly thrown into the narrative. While I appreciate authors utilizing lesser known or used words, some just don't blend well with the rest of the text and they pop-out unflatteringly. The structure needed fine-tuning and tenses were oddly used to differentiate the flashbacks from present day.
To put it succinctly, the writing isn't great and neither is the storyline, what there is of it. This was a bizarre read even by Sweet Valley standards and an insult to fans. Seriously, does Francine Pascal hate this universe and its readers? I think I'll stick to the <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/series/58723-sweet-valley-high">Sweet Valley High</a> series and make up my own stories about what happened afterward.
Slightly spoiler-ish lesson learned from this book:
<spoiler>Betrayal is okay as long as it's "Twu Luv."</spoiler>
Second lesson learned:
Everything always turns up fucking sunshine and roses and unicorns and lollipops for the worst person (or people) in the end.
I'd like to leave you with another winning description,
<blockquote>"There were no tears, but her mouth was twisted in a silent sob."
-page 17</blockquote>
<u>A thought a few hours after having finished this book:</u>
Maybe another "sequel" will eventually come out and it'll begin with Elizabeth waking up from the nightmare that is this book and we'll get the real ten years later story. Ahh, sweet dreams.
<u>Update: April 26, 2011:</u>
Oh yes, always good to blame the fans/readers for not liking their terrible book. By pointing out minor, petty reasons, I might add. <b>Warning:</b> book spoilers in article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/business/media/17sweet.html?_r=1
That was my initial thought after turning the final page of <b>Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later</b>.
As a pre-teen, I was addicted to the <u>Sweet Valley High</u> series, and then later, the <u>Sweet Valley University</u> series as well. Before that even, I had read some of the Twins and Kids series, so when I heard this was coming out last year, I just knew I had to read it. I was excited beyond compare and went into full geek-out mode. Where are the perfect size-six Wakefield twins, and their friends and enemies, now? What are their occupations? Who are they dating or who'd they marry? And my questions kept going on and on. What has inspired this obsession? It's not like these books were high literature, but somehow they became ingrained into my life to this very day and I cannot help but remember SVH fondly.
It is nearly impossible to review the story within the covers without spoilers, but I am going to try my darnedest. Some cursing may or may not be involved.
<b>Short synopsis</b> (snarky comments in parentheses ;P):
Jessica has betrayed Elizabeth. <i>(Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she did. Anyone who's read the books could make an accurate guess.)</i> The Ultimate Betrayal. <i>(Oooooh!)</i> Elizabeth flees to New York. Elizabeth is a slightly sympathetic bitter victim/martyr who craves revenge throughout the book. Jessica is supposed to be a sympathetic betrayer/victim who's heartsick at destroying her sister. <i>(I don't buy it.)</i> Tons of reminiscing flashbacks ensue throughout the book, sometimes the same ones told by different characters, and take up about half of it, so there's barely any plot. Book ends with a thirteen-page <i>Where Are They Now?</i>-type epilogue that tells old fans what has happened to many major supporting characters from the original high school series. <i>(Apparently no one is allowed to be happy. And anyone you may have originally liked from SVH has turned into a big dick. WTF?)</i>
I expected to enjoy this as the usual over-the-top, soap opera stories I remember, but revamped a bit. Sadly, I was left feeling underwhelmed, disappointed, annoyed, and rather pissed off. For one thing, I could not buy the main betrayal -- <spoiler>Jessica and Todd?! In love!!?? Really? In what surreal dimension does that make any kind of sense? This broke the book for me. How can I believe anything else if this doesn't ring true. A passionate affair, sure. A one-night stand, why not? But actual 'til death do us part nonsense? Bull. Not when it's almost always been the Elizabeth and Todd, "made-for-each-other" type of thing. I actually wouldn't have minded if E & T hadn't ended up together, but for Todd to be with Jessica, that's just madness, plain and simple.</spoiler> -- it was just so unbelievable. And I mean that in a Sweet Valley way, which we all know is not steeped in any form of actual reality, so my standards are quite low and I expect the extraordinary and overwrought. So from this point on, which is within the first two chapters, I struggled, but somehow managed to read on. I admit, I gagged more than few times throughout the book. Who wouldn't when faced with passages such as this one,
<blockquote>"And what faces they were.
Gorgeous. Absolutely amazing. The kind you couldn't stop looking at. Their eyes were shades of aqua that danced in the light like shards of precious stones, oval and fringed with thick, light brown lashes long enough to cast a shadow on their cheeks. Their silky blond hair, the cascading kind, fell just below their shoulders. And to complete the perfection, their rosy lips looked as if they were penciled on. There wasn't a thing wrong with their figures, either. It was if billions of possibilities all fell together perfectly.
Twice."
-page 9/10</blockquote>
I hope you managed to hold onto your last meal. I barely did. I also had to endure "his beloved," "his love," and other similar nauseating descriptions.
This is not the PG-rated books from the past, the word "orgasm" is actually used. So is the F-bomb and other expletives. *gasp* Seriously, it does push the boundaries more than the innocent SVH series, but it's not very shocking by today's standards. Except that it does involve the Wakefield Twins, which was strange at first. Of course, current trends had to pop up, like Twitter and Facebook, Justin Timberlake and Beyonce, which always makes a book better and doesn't date it in the least. (That was heavy sarcasm in case you weren't sure.) The book does refer to some incidents and people from the SVU series, but only certain elements, otherwise it's mainly a continuation of high school and no one from the university days actually appears in the book.
Neither Elizabeth nor Jessica felt true to form, especially Jessica, and in fact, none of the characters, whether seen or just talked about, were right. Sure, some people change and some don't, but not a one was recognizable. Where did these strangers with the same names come from? Why couldn't there have been some semblance of the original shining through? Again, I have a hard time with the basis of the book, so that has severely colored my view of the entire thing, but as it stands, it was a complete waste of a good idea. I'd be willing to bet that any fan of SVH could come up with something a million times better than this dreck. Wasn't there an original ghostwriter available? You know, someone who might actually know the world and characters, and have the skill to develop them both in a believable manner?
The writing is rather clunky and purple-ly, often managing both at the same time. Redundancy abounds, editing mistakes, including wrong names and inconsistencies to previous events in SVH-iverse, and lots of use of the words "like" and "so", more-so in Jessica's narrative than anywhere else, which was really, really, so, like, irritating. Like, really. Ms. Pascal must have had a thesaurus at the ready, because there were big words awkwardly thrown into the narrative. While I appreciate authors utilizing lesser known or used words, some just don't blend well with the rest of the text and they pop-out unflatteringly. The structure needed fine-tuning and tenses were oddly used to differentiate the flashbacks from present day.
To put it succinctly, the writing isn't great and neither is the storyline, what there is of it. This was a bizarre read even by Sweet Valley standards and an insult to fans. Seriously, does Francine Pascal hate this universe and its readers? I think I'll stick to the <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/series/58723-sweet-valley-high">Sweet Valley High</a> series and make up my own stories about what happened afterward.
Slightly spoiler-ish lesson learned from this book:
<spoiler>Betrayal is okay as long as it's "Twu Luv."</spoiler>
Second lesson learned:
Everything always turns up fucking sunshine and roses and unicorns and lollipops for the worst person (or people) in the end.
I'd like to leave you with another winning description,
<blockquote>"There were no tears, but her mouth was twisted in a silent sob."
-page 17</blockquote>
<u>A thought a few hours after having finished this book:</u>
Maybe another "sequel" will eventually come out and it'll begin with Elizabeth waking up from the nightmare that is this book and we'll get the real ten years later story. Ahh, sweet dreams.
<u>Update: April 26, 2011:</u>
Oh yes, always good to blame the fans/readers for not liking their terrible book. By pointing out minor, petty reasons, I might add. <b>Warning:</b> book spoilers in article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/business/media/17sweet.html?_r=1
Paul Kellett (118 KP) rated Snowdonia in Tabletop Games
May 4, 2019
Great replayability (2 more)
Good solo mode
Plenty of expansions
Fiddly set up (1 more)
Worker placement suffers a bit at 5 players
It's a train game, isn't it.
Well, there are trains (many, many wonderful (and stupid) trains), and there are tracks, but Snowdonia is not your typical stuffy old train game.
Snowdonia is a worker placement Euro game (one of the best in My opinion) which has players working to complete the railway up to the top of Mount Snowdon.
While you are all working on the same track, this is a competitive game in which you score points for laying tracks, building stations and completing contracts.
The Dai is Cast
The game is set up by choosing which scenario you wish to play, and there are a good number, and laying out the track & station cards around the edge of the board. This is one of the great things about Snowdonia - each expansion is just a deck of cards which replace the original station & track cards, add a few additional rules and make a completely different experience.
The main board has a number of actions you can take like gathering resources, digging out rubble to clear the way for laying tracks (another action) or building stations to name a few. Each action location is further split into worker slots and in true worker placement fashion, these are limited so not everyone can do what they might want to.
There is a deck of contract cards, 3 of which are drawn at the start and replenished each round. If no-one has taken a contract, then the leftmost one is discarded and the other cards shift across with a new contract appearing on the right.
These contract cards are in two sections - the main part is a one time action that can give you a bonus to specific actions and is then spent. You keep the card though as the top part shows a game end bonus. If you satisfy the contract (by having laid a certain number of rails, built a number of stations, or dug enough rubble (and usually a combination of these things)) then you can get a decent bunch of points at the end of the game. Going after these can be rewarding but also quite tricky.
The backs of the contract cards also have a weather icon on them and this can be sunny, raining, foggy or, depending on the scenario, snowy. There is a weather track on the board which indicated the current weather as well as the forecast for the next 2 days so you can try to plan what you are going to do. The weather affects what actions you can take and how efficient you will be at doing them. Sunny days increase the amount of rubble you can dig and the number of tracks you can lay while rainy days decrease this and foggy days restrict the number of action spaces available. These work rates are marked on a track so if you get a run of 2 or 3 sunny days, you can get a good amount of work done.
The way this weather mechanic works really changes how each game feels. You can have games where it's very sunny and you can fair fly up the mountain or you could trudge through the fog gloomily laying the odd track and wishing you were in the pub.
It's warm in here, boyo, leave me to my pint will you
Ah, the pub. You have three workers, but only two are always available. The third one is found in the pub and will only come out if you get a train to take him up the mountain. Firstly, this involves buying a train when it becomes available and then paying a coal cube (not a cola cube, he's not that easily bought) to fuel the train. You only get him for that round after which he goes straight back to the pub.
This brings me on to resources. There are three types - Iron, Stone and Coal. Iron is needed to make tracks and build some station spots while Stone is used to build stations. Coal, as said, get's your man out of the pub.
Resources are restocked at the end of every turn and drawn blindly from a bag. The bag has finite resources determined by the player count but also contains 5 white cubes. These white cubes are the game's timer and represent "the company" coming in and doing work while you are messing about so keeping an eye on what resources are out is vital if you want to get a decent score.
When white cubes are drawn, they get placed on the AI track and will make the company dig, build or lay tracks so if you are not careful, the company will bring the game to a swift end.
Very Chuffed
The base game comes with 6 trains and each expansion adds more. Each train has it's own different special ability like granting you a bonus to your dig rate, letting you convert more Iron into Rail tracks or giving you a free build action.
All these really change how you can play and combined with the weather and the variety of contracts available really give a ton of replayability to Snowdonia.
Not only do the expansions come with trains, but the designer, Mr. Boydell has been creating additional trains for many a year, both as physical promo cards given away at conventions and with other games in his stable and as print and play cards posted up on his blog on BGG. Many of these trains are funny, silly or rude, often being inspired by events on the news and in the gaming world and there are A LOT of them. Check out www.snowdoniacentral.com to see the full list.
The Solo Game
Technically, the solo game is played exactly as the multiplayer game and is a "beat your best score" but that is really doing it a disservice. Like in the multiplayer game, the vastly different ways the weather, contracts and trains can interact makes each game feel totally different and the AI is unforgiving if you linger too long hoarding resources. This makes for a very challenging puzzle of resource optimisation and action efficiency that is very satisfying when you nail it.
There is a campaign of sorts where you play through a number of games using each train in order and there have been various challenges posted on Boardgame Geek.
Ooh, It's Big and Shiny
The Deluxe Edition (currently on Kickstarter) has collected all the expansions, many of them incredibly hard to find, (almost) all of the trains (even the print & play ones) and every other promo over released for Snowdonia and put them together in a lovely big box with a myriad up upgraded wooden pieces, all screen printed, as well as a larger board (with spaces to lay the track cards), more trains and some exclusive new scenarios. There is also the hint of a dedicated solo Automa to be added, but we will have to see, I wouldn't be bothered if it doesn't as the game is a superb solo experience as it is. Oh yeah, they have also added a set of cards that have each space on the board printed on each one so that you can use those to play the game if you are tight on space or want to take the game travelling. These were originally uploaded to BGG by a fan and I have used these many times when I have been working away as you can take them plus just enough pieces and cards to play solo and fit them all in a tiny box.
Snowdonia is My top Euro game and has been for a number of years, and I highly recommend going and checking it out.
Well, there are trains (many, many wonderful (and stupid) trains), and there are tracks, but Snowdonia is not your typical stuffy old train game.
Snowdonia is a worker placement Euro game (one of the best in My opinion) which has players working to complete the railway up to the top of Mount Snowdon.
While you are all working on the same track, this is a competitive game in which you score points for laying tracks, building stations and completing contracts.
The Dai is Cast
The game is set up by choosing which scenario you wish to play, and there are a good number, and laying out the track & station cards around the edge of the board. This is one of the great things about Snowdonia - each expansion is just a deck of cards which replace the original station & track cards, add a few additional rules and make a completely different experience.
The main board has a number of actions you can take like gathering resources, digging out rubble to clear the way for laying tracks (another action) or building stations to name a few. Each action location is further split into worker slots and in true worker placement fashion, these are limited so not everyone can do what they might want to.
There is a deck of contract cards, 3 of which are drawn at the start and replenished each round. If no-one has taken a contract, then the leftmost one is discarded and the other cards shift across with a new contract appearing on the right.
These contract cards are in two sections - the main part is a one time action that can give you a bonus to specific actions and is then spent. You keep the card though as the top part shows a game end bonus. If you satisfy the contract (by having laid a certain number of rails, built a number of stations, or dug enough rubble (and usually a combination of these things)) then you can get a decent bunch of points at the end of the game. Going after these can be rewarding but also quite tricky.
The backs of the contract cards also have a weather icon on them and this can be sunny, raining, foggy or, depending on the scenario, snowy. There is a weather track on the board which indicated the current weather as well as the forecast for the next 2 days so you can try to plan what you are going to do. The weather affects what actions you can take and how efficient you will be at doing them. Sunny days increase the amount of rubble you can dig and the number of tracks you can lay while rainy days decrease this and foggy days restrict the number of action spaces available. These work rates are marked on a track so if you get a run of 2 or 3 sunny days, you can get a good amount of work done.
The way this weather mechanic works really changes how each game feels. You can have games where it's very sunny and you can fair fly up the mountain or you could trudge through the fog gloomily laying the odd track and wishing you were in the pub.
It's warm in here, boyo, leave me to my pint will you
Ah, the pub. You have three workers, but only two are always available. The third one is found in the pub and will only come out if you get a train to take him up the mountain. Firstly, this involves buying a train when it becomes available and then paying a coal cube (not a cola cube, he's not that easily bought) to fuel the train. You only get him for that round after which he goes straight back to the pub.
This brings me on to resources. There are three types - Iron, Stone and Coal. Iron is needed to make tracks and build some station spots while Stone is used to build stations. Coal, as said, get's your man out of the pub.
Resources are restocked at the end of every turn and drawn blindly from a bag. The bag has finite resources determined by the player count but also contains 5 white cubes. These white cubes are the game's timer and represent "the company" coming in and doing work while you are messing about so keeping an eye on what resources are out is vital if you want to get a decent score.
When white cubes are drawn, they get placed on the AI track and will make the company dig, build or lay tracks so if you are not careful, the company will bring the game to a swift end.
Very Chuffed
The base game comes with 6 trains and each expansion adds more. Each train has it's own different special ability like granting you a bonus to your dig rate, letting you convert more Iron into Rail tracks or giving you a free build action.
All these really change how you can play and combined with the weather and the variety of contracts available really give a ton of replayability to Snowdonia.
Not only do the expansions come with trains, but the designer, Mr. Boydell has been creating additional trains for many a year, both as physical promo cards given away at conventions and with other games in his stable and as print and play cards posted up on his blog on BGG. Many of these trains are funny, silly or rude, often being inspired by events on the news and in the gaming world and there are A LOT of them. Check out www.snowdoniacentral.com to see the full list.
The Solo Game
Technically, the solo game is played exactly as the multiplayer game and is a "beat your best score" but that is really doing it a disservice. Like in the multiplayer game, the vastly different ways the weather, contracts and trains can interact makes each game feel totally different and the AI is unforgiving if you linger too long hoarding resources. This makes for a very challenging puzzle of resource optimisation and action efficiency that is very satisfying when you nail it.
There is a campaign of sorts where you play through a number of games using each train in order and there have been various challenges posted on Boardgame Geek.
Ooh, It's Big and Shiny
The Deluxe Edition (currently on Kickstarter) has collected all the expansions, many of them incredibly hard to find, (almost) all of the trains (even the print & play ones) and every other promo over released for Snowdonia and put them together in a lovely big box with a myriad up upgraded wooden pieces, all screen printed, as well as a larger board (with spaces to lay the track cards), more trains and some exclusive new scenarios. There is also the hint of a dedicated solo Automa to be added, but we will have to see, I wouldn't be bothered if it doesn't as the game is a superb solo experience as it is. Oh yeah, they have also added a set of cards that have each space on the board printed on each one so that you can use those to play the game if you are tight on space or want to take the game travelling. These were originally uploaded to BGG by a fan and I have used these many times when I have been working away as you can take them plus just enough pieces and cards to play solo and fit them all in a tiny box.
Snowdonia is My top Euro game and has been for a number of years, and I highly recommend going and checking it out.