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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Cold Pursuit (2019) in Movies
Mar 15, 2020
Comments on revenge are best kept on the screen.
I'd completely forgotten the furore about Liam Neeson's comments back last February during the press-tour preceding the film's release. In discussing the destructive feelings of revenge experienced by his character, Nels Coxman, Neeson revealed something he did 40 years ago: after the rape of a friend by "a black man", Neeson went out on the streets to find another "black man" and do them harm. (As a fellow Ballymena-born man, David Moody (from the "Mark and Dave" blog) has an interesting theory about this... that it was not a "rascist" statement in the true sense, but something else entirely. See here - ).
The comments undoubtedly impacted the movie at the box office. Which is a shame. Because in his catalogue of bonkers and violent revenge-porn flicks, this is one of Neeson's more entertaining ones.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. And where colder to serve it than in the ski-resort of Kehoe where Nels Coxman is the local snowplow operative and "man of the year" for his services to the community. But the tracks are about to fall off his orderly life. For his son Kyle (Micheál Richardson) winds up dead through a drugs overdose and his strained marriage with wife Grace (Laura Dern) disintegrates. (One of the most cutting and best-written "Bye" notes ever seen in the movies).
With revenge in mind, Coxman pursues the Denver-based drugs lord Trevor Calcote (Tom Bateman) who dished out the drugs to his son. But he inadvertently manages to stay just below the parapet as he sets in train a gang war between Calcote and a Kehoe-based native-American drugs gang led by White Bull (Tom Jackson). The snow turned progressively pinker as the body count rises.
Calcote (aka "Viking") is painted as a colourful family man, with an annoyingly bright son Ryan (Nicholas Holmes) that he controls with a rod of iron. Viking is estranged from wife Aya (Julia Jones), who seems completely unafraid of him and happily embarrasses him in front of his men. This relationship never really works. Since given all the terrible and irrational things Viking does to people, whether they obstruct him or help him in equal measure, putting a quiet bullet into Aya's head seems to be to least he could do!
Where there is fun to be had is in the "Stockholm syndrome" linkage between young Ryan and Coxman. When his father insists on controlling his diet, feeding him the same insipidly healthy meals morning, noon and night, the alternative of being kidnapped and fed burgers seems eminently more preferable!
The film is at times really difficult to follow. There are lots of inexplicable leaps of logic and really inexplicably bonkers scenes that you can only patch together later. It's as if the filmmakers randomly filmed 5 hours of footage and then tried to edit it all into a cohesive plot!
As one example of this, the relationship between Coxman and "Wingman" (William Forsythe) was poorly introduced such that I was left baffled by a later plot twist.
In another scene, Neeson smashes the head of enforcer "Santa" (Michael Adamthwaite) into his steering wheel, but in the next scene collapses with him utterly exhausted in the snow. There was clearly a significant fight here that was cut out of the finished cut. But as a result the final cut makes no sense at all!
Of course, the local law enforcement team are average at best. Average because although young and keen-as-mustard detective Kim Dash (Emmy Rossum) is hot on the trail of the truth, her partner Gip (John Doman) is f*ckin' useless... wanting to do nothing but drink coffee and eat donuts in true Simpsons style.
Normally with these sort of films, it's difficult to keep track of the body count. No such problem here. Every death is celebrated with a tombstone graphic so it's easy to keep count! Needless to say, there are a lot of tombstones registered.
Directed by Norwegian Hans Petter Moland, it's all good violent cartoonish fun, that keeps its tongue firmly in its cheek for most of the running time. The snowy setting, the partly native-American cast and the presence of Julia Jones brings to mind the truly excellent Jeremy Renner / Elizabeth Olsen movie "Wind River". But there the similarities (and quality levels) definitely stop. It's not a clever movie; it's borderline bonkers for most of its running time (never more so than with a totally bizarre "joke" final shot); but it is entertaining. As a 'park brain at door' action comedy it just about makes the grade.
(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/03/15/one-manns-movies-dvd-review-cold-pursuit-2019/. Thanks.)
The comments undoubtedly impacted the movie at the box office. Which is a shame. Because in his catalogue of bonkers and violent revenge-porn flicks, this is one of Neeson's more entertaining ones.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. And where colder to serve it than in the ski-resort of Kehoe where Nels Coxman is the local snowplow operative and "man of the year" for his services to the community. But the tracks are about to fall off his orderly life. For his son Kyle (Micheál Richardson) winds up dead through a drugs overdose and his strained marriage with wife Grace (Laura Dern) disintegrates. (One of the most cutting and best-written "Bye" notes ever seen in the movies).
With revenge in mind, Coxman pursues the Denver-based drugs lord Trevor Calcote (Tom Bateman) who dished out the drugs to his son. But he inadvertently manages to stay just below the parapet as he sets in train a gang war between Calcote and a Kehoe-based native-American drugs gang led by White Bull (Tom Jackson). The snow turned progressively pinker as the body count rises.
Calcote (aka "Viking") is painted as a colourful family man, with an annoyingly bright son Ryan (Nicholas Holmes) that he controls with a rod of iron. Viking is estranged from wife Aya (Julia Jones), who seems completely unafraid of him and happily embarrasses him in front of his men. This relationship never really works. Since given all the terrible and irrational things Viking does to people, whether they obstruct him or help him in equal measure, putting a quiet bullet into Aya's head seems to be to least he could do!
Where there is fun to be had is in the "Stockholm syndrome" linkage between young Ryan and Coxman. When his father insists on controlling his diet, feeding him the same insipidly healthy meals morning, noon and night, the alternative of being kidnapped and fed burgers seems eminently more preferable!
The film is at times really difficult to follow. There are lots of inexplicable leaps of logic and really inexplicably bonkers scenes that you can only patch together later. It's as if the filmmakers randomly filmed 5 hours of footage and then tried to edit it all into a cohesive plot!
As one example of this, the relationship between Coxman and "Wingman" (William Forsythe) was poorly introduced such that I was left baffled by a later plot twist.
In another scene, Neeson smashes the head of enforcer "Santa" (Michael Adamthwaite) into his steering wheel, but in the next scene collapses with him utterly exhausted in the snow. There was clearly a significant fight here that was cut out of the finished cut. But as a result the final cut makes no sense at all!
Of course, the local law enforcement team are average at best. Average because although young and keen-as-mustard detective Kim Dash (Emmy Rossum) is hot on the trail of the truth, her partner Gip (John Doman) is f*ckin' useless... wanting to do nothing but drink coffee and eat donuts in true Simpsons style.
Normally with these sort of films, it's difficult to keep track of the body count. No such problem here. Every death is celebrated with a tombstone graphic so it's easy to keep count! Needless to say, there are a lot of tombstones registered.
Directed by Norwegian Hans Petter Moland, it's all good violent cartoonish fun, that keeps its tongue firmly in its cheek for most of the running time. The snowy setting, the partly native-American cast and the presence of Julia Jones brings to mind the truly excellent Jeremy Renner / Elizabeth Olsen movie "Wind River". But there the similarities (and quality levels) definitely stop. It's not a clever movie; it's borderline bonkers for most of its running time (never more so than with a totally bizarre "joke" final shot); but it is entertaining. As a 'park brain at door' action comedy it just about makes the grade.
(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/03/15/one-manns-movies-dvd-review-cold-pursuit-2019/. Thanks.)
Piper (13 KP) rated Halloween (2018) in Movies
Nov 27, 2019
Strong Characters (3 more)
Clever Camerawork
Myers is Finally Threatening Again
Callbacks and Subversions
"You're The New Doctor Loomis" (3 more)
Plot Holes
Predictable
Too Much Off-Screen Action
Halloween: Predictably Unpredictable
Contains spoilers, click to show
After the nightmare of a film that was Rob Zombie’s 2007 remake, I refused to bother seeing the new Halloween on its release, choosing instead to pick up a DVD when the price got knocked down significantly enough - after all, we’ve had sixty-three Halloween films now and only half of them were worth watching (really, Season of the Witch?) and this looked, in all honesty, like just another slasher-film-reboot that wasn’t worth the time. Now don’t get me wrong, it absolutely was just another slasher film, but I wish I’d seen it in the cinema. And a year earlier than I did, too, because I missed out big-time with this one.
The plot is predictable, because of course it is. It’s Michael Myers, what’s he going to do except escape from a mental institution and murder some people? But it’s beautifully subverted; some of the characters you might expect to last till the end die before the halfway mark, and while there are a fair amount who are clearly written in just to be killed minutes later, they contribute to some fine, gory moments, so it’s kind of okay. There’s no real heartbreaker here - everyone you really rooted for just about makes it, and everyone that was kind of a dick is killed. And that’s fine, because in a way this isn’t the kind of slasher where it matters who lives or dies. This is a film about preserving a legacy, or perhaps just making one, and it works. We’re told fairly early on that this is a direct sequel to the original Halloween (Myers’ death toll at the start of this version, apparently, is five, which matches the amount of kills he made in the first movie - as far as I’m aware, Myers has actually killed over 100 people in all the films combined, so this is a nice subtle way of telling us what to remember and what to ignore completely). Having said that, references are made throughout to previous films, the best of which is of course a callback to the infamous scene where Myers tumbles out of a window only for his body to completely disappear - this time it’s Laurie Strode who does the tumbling, and she very much intends to do a little vanishing act of her own, Michael, so keep an eye on - oh, no, you looked away, I wonder what’s happening down there!
Focusing on Laurie for a moment, Jamie Lee Curtis does an absolutely excellent job here. Age has given her character wisdom, paranoia, and a whole lot of guns, and the acting carries a huge amount of weight and strength with it. Having said that, there are a couple of moments where all of Laurie’s fear-induced calculations don’t seem to have quite worked out - why bother going to such extreme measures to protect your house, if the front door you’re standing behind is half glass? But that’s the thing about this movie - whatever you plan for, whatever you think Michael Myers is capable of, he’s stronger than you think, he’s far more terrifying than you remember, and right until the end, he’s here to remind you that nothing you can plan for will ever be enough. Of course, we never actually see him die (again) so here’s looking forward to the next sequel…
The cinematography is something to at least wonder over - settings and locations are used well and established with some wonderful wide shots, and some of the best scenes are those where the camera just stays in one place, at a very carefully-selected window for example, and watches. Two scenes are worth a particular mention; the first, in which we follow our two podcast-host characters to a gas station, seems fairly dull until Myers catches up to them, but if you watch the background carefully enough you’ll see he’s there all along, beating people up and murdering quite happily (swapping his prison jumpsuit for those traditional blues in the process). The second seems a little superficial, in the grand scheme of the movie, but it’s well-shot nonetheless - we watch, from that aforementioned window, as a woman hears about all the nasty things Michael might do, and of course we can see him through another window, heading for her front door, and when he finally appears inside the house he’s all the way across the room, somehow, and he calmly wanders on over and stabs the woman quite coolly through the throat, in a scene which I think is most reminiscent of the original films.
However, there are moments when you don’t see Michael at all, just the aftermath, or where we watch him enter a room and are forced to linger in the corridor while he does the dirty work. A couple of times that’s just fine, but considering the nature of the film it would be nice to watch the magic happen a couple more times. And while we’re on the negatives, I might mention that the reveal that the Doctor Loomis-type character who looked, felt, and sounded like a rip-off of Doctor Loomis, and was even referred to as “The New Doctor Loomis” did EXACTLY the same thing that Doctor Loomis did, surprise, and we were somehow expected to not see that coming like it was all one big, obvious, heavy-handed bluff. A couple of the other characters, too, felt like they were purely rammed in there to be irritating - there were a couple of strong scenes with our podcast hosts, but ultimately they were rude, on-the-nose and annoyingly egotistical, and I was happy to see them go, just like Alison’s friend Foggy Nelson.
The score, incidentally, is worth mentioning, from a haunting retune of the original Myers theme to darker and more dramatic variations on it later on that really would have been quite something to hear in surround-sound. I’m never usually one to appreciate the music of a film quite fully enough, so it was nice to have this grab my attention in quite the way it did. Overall, it’s a genuinely good follow-on that takes the best of the films before and makes the best use of the worst of them. Some of the characters might be a little annoying, some of the action could have translated better on-screen than off, but it was an honest and straight-up slasher film and it just wasn’t that bad at all.
The plot is predictable, because of course it is. It’s Michael Myers, what’s he going to do except escape from a mental institution and murder some people? But it’s beautifully subverted; some of the characters you might expect to last till the end die before the halfway mark, and while there are a fair amount who are clearly written in just to be killed minutes later, they contribute to some fine, gory moments, so it’s kind of okay. There’s no real heartbreaker here - everyone you really rooted for just about makes it, and everyone that was kind of a dick is killed. And that’s fine, because in a way this isn’t the kind of slasher where it matters who lives or dies. This is a film about preserving a legacy, or perhaps just making one, and it works. We’re told fairly early on that this is a direct sequel to the original Halloween (Myers’ death toll at the start of this version, apparently, is five, which matches the amount of kills he made in the first movie - as far as I’m aware, Myers has actually killed over 100 people in all the films combined, so this is a nice subtle way of telling us what to remember and what to ignore completely). Having said that, references are made throughout to previous films, the best of which is of course a callback to the infamous scene where Myers tumbles out of a window only for his body to completely disappear - this time it’s Laurie Strode who does the tumbling, and she very much intends to do a little vanishing act of her own, Michael, so keep an eye on - oh, no, you looked away, I wonder what’s happening down there!
Focusing on Laurie for a moment, Jamie Lee Curtis does an absolutely excellent job here. Age has given her character wisdom, paranoia, and a whole lot of guns, and the acting carries a huge amount of weight and strength with it. Having said that, there are a couple of moments where all of Laurie’s fear-induced calculations don’t seem to have quite worked out - why bother going to such extreme measures to protect your house, if the front door you’re standing behind is half glass? But that’s the thing about this movie - whatever you plan for, whatever you think Michael Myers is capable of, he’s stronger than you think, he’s far more terrifying than you remember, and right until the end, he’s here to remind you that nothing you can plan for will ever be enough. Of course, we never actually see him die (again) so here’s looking forward to the next sequel…
The cinematography is something to at least wonder over - settings and locations are used well and established with some wonderful wide shots, and some of the best scenes are those where the camera just stays in one place, at a very carefully-selected window for example, and watches. Two scenes are worth a particular mention; the first, in which we follow our two podcast-host characters to a gas station, seems fairly dull until Myers catches up to them, but if you watch the background carefully enough you’ll see he’s there all along, beating people up and murdering quite happily (swapping his prison jumpsuit for those traditional blues in the process). The second seems a little superficial, in the grand scheme of the movie, but it’s well-shot nonetheless - we watch, from that aforementioned window, as a woman hears about all the nasty things Michael might do, and of course we can see him through another window, heading for her front door, and when he finally appears inside the house he’s all the way across the room, somehow, and he calmly wanders on over and stabs the woman quite coolly through the throat, in a scene which I think is most reminiscent of the original films.
However, there are moments when you don’t see Michael at all, just the aftermath, or where we watch him enter a room and are forced to linger in the corridor while he does the dirty work. A couple of times that’s just fine, but considering the nature of the film it would be nice to watch the magic happen a couple more times. And while we’re on the negatives, I might mention that the reveal that the Doctor Loomis-type character who looked, felt, and sounded like a rip-off of Doctor Loomis, and was even referred to as “The New Doctor Loomis” did EXACTLY the same thing that Doctor Loomis did, surprise, and we were somehow expected to not see that coming like it was all one big, obvious, heavy-handed bluff. A couple of the other characters, too, felt like they were purely rammed in there to be irritating - there were a couple of strong scenes with our podcast hosts, but ultimately they were rude, on-the-nose and annoyingly egotistical, and I was happy to see them go, just like Alison’s friend Foggy Nelson.
The score, incidentally, is worth mentioning, from a haunting retune of the original Myers theme to darker and more dramatic variations on it later on that really would have been quite something to hear in surround-sound. I’m never usually one to appreciate the music of a film quite fully enough, so it was nice to have this grab my attention in quite the way it did. Overall, it’s a genuinely good follow-on that takes the best of the films before and makes the best use of the worst of them. Some of the characters might be a little annoying, some of the action could have translated better on-screen than off, but it was an honest and straight-up slasher film and it just wasn’t that bad at all.
Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated The Prodigy (2019) in Movies
Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Sep 25, 2019)
Here we are, a turning point of sorts. I had said to myself that I would try to be less of a scaredy cat and see all the films at the cinema. I'm not at a point where I can happily say "it's a no from me". Horror and I mix fine if I can watch them at home in the daylight and I can shout at the characters when they do dumb things like go into basements and don't turn on lights.
I wasn't even halfway through the trailers when I realised that sitting in the pitch black where people can appear out of nowhere was not for me. I made a decision to not see Us at the cinema there and then, and the same would be true for Pet Semetary if it wasn't for the fact they announced an Unlimited Screening for it.
Anyway...
I didn't know exactly what this film when I went in, I'd read the smallest of synopsis and that was basically it. It wasn't until I was in the cinema that I realised what I'd got myself into but by that point I was there and that was the end of it, I was staying.
The basic outline of the story is one that I'm certain I've seen in a similar form on other things, but I can't for the life of me remember where. Potentially I'm thinking of things like Criminal Minds.
You know fairly early on where this film is going to take you, I think I jumped in the first minute, along with a couple in front of me.
The way they link the simultaneous events at the beginning if very well done, the timing and the visuals line up perfectly. We then get fast-tracked through his early years and we see how special he is, and how he's just a smidge creepy.
The Prodigy has lots of classic tells from horror sprinkled through it, if I'd been at home I'd have been screaming at the screen. There are little tells everywhere but none of it spoils what's to come.
Overall the brought everything together extremely well to create something that was gripping and just a little scary to everyone around me... apart from the guy behind me who on more than one occasion laughed and gave me the urge to move seats.
The further in we get the more messed up things become for the characters, they're basically all screwed but none of them see it until it's too late. Miles becomes so creepy at one point that I'm assuming they decided that it was too much for the young actor to do. There's a cutaway to his eyes as he's talking but it sounds rather like a voice-over that's unlike the rest of the audio in the film.
At some point I gave up hope for... everything, and just wished someone would do the right thing and do away with him. Had I been watching this at home and shouting at the screen, someone might have listened and saved everyone a lot of heartbreak.
The Prodigy knows how to draw you in. We see Miles hypnotised with a metronome and the sequence makes you want to lean towards the screen for what you know is going to be something important. The constantly moving camera in time with the ticking worked so well.
If you look up Jackson Robert Scott on IMDb you get a delightfully cute picture, but even if I were his own mother I'd be suspicious about having him in the house after seeing this film. He seems to have found a little creepy niche with this and It, and he's pretty good at it. There's something about his mannerisms that don't feel quite right, but had he nailed that then I don't think I'd have ever slept again.
Taylor Shilling works well as Miles' mother, her reactions all help you get that sense of danger she feels and as her emotions ramp up so do ours. I'm not sure that the love of my child would have kept me on board for that long though.
There were mixed offerings from the rest of the cast, not that I'm sure that matters a great deal when the key part of the film is almost entirely focused on Miles and the visuals around that. I particularly like that they consistently show you the two sides of Miles. We see it on the movie posters as well as in the film with effective use of light and dark.
The Prodigy is almost right up my alley, it's basically a Criminal Minds storyline without the FBI, and a little supernatural something thrown in. It probably would have got higher marks from me had it not take every opportunity to make the audience jump. This film also teaches us a very important lesson, when a friendly dog hates a child you should trust its instincts.
What you should do
This is a very good thriller and if you don't mind jumping a bit every now and then it's well worth a watch. I think it's probably worth watching twice, knowing what I know now I'd like to see it again to put the pieces back together.
Movie thing you wish you could take home
I will have the puppy from the beginning of the film, everything else can stay very very far away.
I wasn't even halfway through the trailers when I realised that sitting in the pitch black where people can appear out of nowhere was not for me. I made a decision to not see Us at the cinema there and then, and the same would be true for Pet Semetary if it wasn't for the fact they announced an Unlimited Screening for it.
Anyway...
I didn't know exactly what this film when I went in, I'd read the smallest of synopsis and that was basically it. It wasn't until I was in the cinema that I realised what I'd got myself into but by that point I was there and that was the end of it, I was staying.
The basic outline of the story is one that I'm certain I've seen in a similar form on other things, but I can't for the life of me remember where. Potentially I'm thinking of things like Criminal Minds.
You know fairly early on where this film is going to take you, I think I jumped in the first minute, along with a couple in front of me.
The way they link the simultaneous events at the beginning if very well done, the timing and the visuals line up perfectly. We then get fast-tracked through his early years and we see how special he is, and how he's just a smidge creepy.
The Prodigy has lots of classic tells from horror sprinkled through it, if I'd been at home I'd have been screaming at the screen. There are little tells everywhere but none of it spoils what's to come.
Overall the brought everything together extremely well to create something that was gripping and just a little scary to everyone around me... apart from the guy behind me who on more than one occasion laughed and gave me the urge to move seats.
The further in we get the more messed up things become for the characters, they're basically all screwed but none of them see it until it's too late. Miles becomes so creepy at one point that I'm assuming they decided that it was too much for the young actor to do. There's a cutaway to his eyes as he's talking but it sounds rather like a voice-over that's unlike the rest of the audio in the film.
At some point I gave up hope for... everything, and just wished someone would do the right thing and do away with him. Had I been watching this at home and shouting at the screen, someone might have listened and saved everyone a lot of heartbreak.
The Prodigy knows how to draw you in. We see Miles hypnotised with a metronome and the sequence makes you want to lean towards the screen for what you know is going to be something important. The constantly moving camera in time with the ticking worked so well.
If you look up Jackson Robert Scott on IMDb you get a delightfully cute picture, but even if I were his own mother I'd be suspicious about having him in the house after seeing this film. He seems to have found a little creepy niche with this and It, and he's pretty good at it. There's something about his mannerisms that don't feel quite right, but had he nailed that then I don't think I'd have ever slept again.
Taylor Shilling works well as Miles' mother, her reactions all help you get that sense of danger she feels and as her emotions ramp up so do ours. I'm not sure that the love of my child would have kept me on board for that long though.
There were mixed offerings from the rest of the cast, not that I'm sure that matters a great deal when the key part of the film is almost entirely focused on Miles and the visuals around that. I particularly like that they consistently show you the two sides of Miles. We see it on the movie posters as well as in the film with effective use of light and dark.
The Prodigy is almost right up my alley, it's basically a Criminal Minds storyline without the FBI, and a little supernatural something thrown in. It probably would have got higher marks from me had it not take every opportunity to make the audience jump. This film also teaches us a very important lesson, when a friendly dog hates a child you should trust its instincts.
What you should do
This is a very good thriller and if you don't mind jumping a bit every now and then it's well worth a watch. I think it's probably worth watching twice, knowing what I know now I'd like to see it again to put the pieces back together.
Movie thing you wish you could take home
I will have the puppy from the beginning of the film, everything else can stay very very far away.
Sophia (Bookwyrming Thoughts) (530 KP) rated Princess of Thorns in Books
Jan 23, 2020
<i>Princess of Thorns</i> isn't even a retelling – it's <b>just a fairy tale (pun may be intended) where the original characters are quite dead (poisoned, murdered, suicidal, etc.) and the spawn of Aurora 1.0 and Stephen is cursed in exchange for her fairy blessings.</b>
That particular spawn, who I'm calling Aurora 2.0 (simply because <i>THE</i> Sleeping Beauty was born as Aurora but Stacey Jay calls her Rose), apparently has a brother who gets captured by the ogre queen and she decides to pose as said brother to raise an army to overthrow the ogre queen. Early on in her journey – the beginning of the book, in actuality – Aurora meets Prince Niklaas, son of the immortal king of Kanvasola and wait for it...
Also cursed.
I won't complain too much about <i>Princess of Thorns</i> – it's a neat idea and there's really not much you can do with a retelling of a princess who sleeps a hundred years and gets woken up by a kiss from a prince who goes through thorns and fights a green-fire breathing dragon witch known as Maleficent. I pretty much applaud authors who toy around with Sleeping Beauty – it's interesting to see what comes out of it.
But <b>the book is <i>sooo</i> confusing</b>. From the beginning, Jay quite literally throws us in a world where Aurora is aware of what's going on around her, but <b>I have no clue what's going on.</b> Aurora thinks she's seeing a hottie who she thinks is a "Golden God" – great! But what in the world is going on? All I know is she's been with the fey for ten years and she may or may not be with them right at that time, and whatever was going on for fifteen pages certainly doesn't sound very fey-like. I also know that her mother, the original Sleeping Beauty, is dead.
There were also <b>a few things that just seemed really ridiculous.</b>
The <b>names are just not as creative</b> as Stacey Jay might be aiming them to be. Niklaas, Haanah, Ekeeta, and the name that almost made me bawl in laughter? Nippa. It's almost as though <b>in an effort to "foreignize" the names, Jay either "drawls" out a letter or it justs sounds like another word in the English language (sometimes, it's not even pleasant).</b> In that case, I'll be Sofeeyah.
<b>The entire concept of Aurora dressing up as her brother without anyone being aware was also a bit suspicious.</b> Aurora slips up A LOT in front of Niklaas throughout the journey, and <b>I'm a bit peeved he doesn't even question it THE ENTIRE TIME.</b> If her brother were younger than fourteen and disguised Aurora slipped up a few times, then maybe it would have worked better. But Aurora's captured brother is <i>fourteen</i> – I doubt fourteen-year-old boys sound like high-pitched girls. As much as I applaud Aurora for having the guts to venture out in the world on her own to take down an ogre queen, <b>I just don't buy her manliness.</b>
In all honesty, though, <b>Aurora as a Jor was a lot better than Aurora as a girl</b> – she's desperate as Niklaas gets closer to his eighteenth birthday. It's quite literally, "Dude, come on! Marry me already!" And Niklaas is all mopey. "All is lost. No princess loves me, so dear God and all that is Holy, END THIS AND TURN ME INTO A SWAN ALREADY SO I CAN SWAN THE REST OF MY LIFE AWAY WITH MY SWANNING BROS."
Aurora's approaching meeting with the ogre queen seemed <b>really weird, abrupt, and cheesy</b> – I felt like I just wrote a story in sixth grade where the bad guy goes all, "Oh, I'm so sorry! Let me just accept my punishment and go to flaming Hell." while being completely solemn. And obviously, the story becomes all happily ever after.
The entire explanation makes sense, but <b>the execution just seemed weird and quick</b> and somewhere in the process, the author realized, "Oh, wait. This is going on 400 hundred pages. I better wrap this up and wrap it up quickly, or I'll end up boring the crap out of my readers if I throw in deception and go on 600 or more pages!"
Disclaimer: I'm not making fun of the author. I'm quite literally saying I felt as though I was in sixth grade, writing a story with an actual limited number of pages and I <i>had</i> to wrap it up, so I did it abruptly. That was actually a true story. I did get a decent grade, so I must have done something right, right?
Also, at the time of writing this review, I was feeling more sarcastic than usual (though Lupe and Rundus would probably say I'm sarcastic 24/7). <b><i>Princess of Thorns</i> had a decent idea, but there were quite a bit of bumps and mucho ridiculousness throughout that made the story fall rather than burst out feathers and fly (see what I did there?).</b>
<a href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/review-princess-of-thorns-by-stacey-jay/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
That particular spawn, who I'm calling Aurora 2.0 (simply because <i>THE</i> Sleeping Beauty was born as Aurora but Stacey Jay calls her Rose), apparently has a brother who gets captured by the ogre queen and she decides to pose as said brother to raise an army to overthrow the ogre queen. Early on in her journey – the beginning of the book, in actuality – Aurora meets Prince Niklaas, son of the immortal king of Kanvasola and wait for it...
Also cursed.
I won't complain too much about <i>Princess of Thorns</i> – it's a neat idea and there's really not much you can do with a retelling of a princess who sleeps a hundred years and gets woken up by a kiss from a prince who goes through thorns and fights a green-fire breathing dragon witch known as Maleficent. I pretty much applaud authors who toy around with Sleeping Beauty – it's interesting to see what comes out of it.
But <b>the book is <i>sooo</i> confusing</b>. From the beginning, Jay quite literally throws us in a world where Aurora is aware of what's going on around her, but <b>I have no clue what's going on.</b> Aurora thinks she's seeing a hottie who she thinks is a "Golden God" – great! But what in the world is going on? All I know is she's been with the fey for ten years and she may or may not be with them right at that time, and whatever was going on for fifteen pages certainly doesn't sound very fey-like. I also know that her mother, the original Sleeping Beauty, is dead.
There were also <b>a few things that just seemed really ridiculous.</b>
The <b>names are just not as creative</b> as Stacey Jay might be aiming them to be. Niklaas, Haanah, Ekeeta, and the name that almost made me bawl in laughter? Nippa. It's almost as though <b>in an effort to "foreignize" the names, Jay either "drawls" out a letter or it justs sounds like another word in the English language (sometimes, it's not even pleasant).</b> In that case, I'll be Sofeeyah.
<b>The entire concept of Aurora dressing up as her brother without anyone being aware was also a bit suspicious.</b> Aurora slips up A LOT in front of Niklaas throughout the journey, and <b>I'm a bit peeved he doesn't even question it THE ENTIRE TIME.</b> If her brother were younger than fourteen and disguised Aurora slipped up a few times, then maybe it would have worked better. But Aurora's captured brother is <i>fourteen</i> – I doubt fourteen-year-old boys sound like high-pitched girls. As much as I applaud Aurora for having the guts to venture out in the world on her own to take down an ogre queen, <b>I just don't buy her manliness.</b>
In all honesty, though, <b>Aurora as a Jor was a lot better than Aurora as a girl</b> – she's desperate as Niklaas gets closer to his eighteenth birthday. It's quite literally, "Dude, come on! Marry me already!" And Niklaas is all mopey. "All is lost. No princess loves me, so dear God and all that is Holy, END THIS AND TURN ME INTO A SWAN ALREADY SO I CAN SWAN THE REST OF MY LIFE AWAY WITH MY SWANNING BROS."
Aurora's approaching meeting with the ogre queen seemed <b>really weird, abrupt, and cheesy</b> – I felt like I just wrote a story in sixth grade where the bad guy goes all, "Oh, I'm so sorry! Let me just accept my punishment and go to flaming Hell." while being completely solemn. And obviously, the story becomes all happily ever after.
The entire explanation makes sense, but <b>the execution just seemed weird and quick</b> and somewhere in the process, the author realized, "Oh, wait. This is going on 400 hundred pages. I better wrap this up and wrap it up quickly, or I'll end up boring the crap out of my readers if I throw in deception and go on 600 or more pages!"
Disclaimer: I'm not making fun of the author. I'm quite literally saying I felt as though I was in sixth grade, writing a story with an actual limited number of pages and I <i>had</i> to wrap it up, so I did it abruptly. That was actually a true story. I did get a decent grade, so I must have done something right, right?
Also, at the time of writing this review, I was feeling more sarcastic than usual (though Lupe and Rundus would probably say I'm sarcastic 24/7). <b><i>Princess of Thorns</i> had a decent idea, but there were quite a bit of bumps and mucho ridiculousness throughout that made the story fall rather than burst out feathers and fly (see what I did there?).</b>
<a href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/review-princess-of-thorns-by-stacey-jay/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>