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Hadley (567 KP) rated Heart-Shaped Box in Books
Jun 18, 2019
Unlikable characters (1 more)
Parts that weren't needed
Which one of us hasn't imagined being a successful rock star? The main character of this novel is an aging one, who has become the stereo-typical hard-ass that is expected of a death metal rock star. We begin with Judas Coyne, who hasn't made an album in years, and who is constantly running from his past- - -a habit he acquired when he ran away from home in Louisiana at the age of 19, and this is the problem that permeates Hill's 'Heart-Shaped Box.'
'Heart-Shaped Box' does a successful job of not only painting a picture of ghosts, but also of the spirits that reside in animals (like a witch's familiar), but the likable characters in this book are few and far between. Coyne treats women as objects(he literally only calls them by the State name they are from,such as Florida), and also ended his own marriage by refusing to throw away a snuff film he had obtained from a police. When the story begins, Coyne is shacked up with a young woman (nearly 30 years younger) he calls Georgia; she is described as a stereo-typical goth: black hair, black nail polish, pale white skin. This description of the women Coyne has been with seem to be about the same, but maybe a different hair color, but any other woman that is ever mentioned in the book is either very old or very overweight.
Coyne, a collector of all things dark, buys a dead man's suit that is supposedly haunted by a woman's deceased stepfather. Quite quickly things begin to happen after the suit arrives, including a decaying smell, first noticed by Coyne's 'girlfriend,' Georgia: " I know. I was wondering if there was something in one of the pockets. Something going bad. Old food." She makes Coyne take a look at the suit to see if there is something dead inside of it, but he never finds the source of the smell. Instead, he finds a picture of a young girl in one of the pockets, a girl that is very familiar to Coyne, a girl he once called 'Florida.'
Coyne doesn't seem to take any of the signs seriously that he may be haunted by a ghost that wants to harm him and anyone who comes in contact with him. Until Coyne finds himself sitting inside his restored vintage Mustang in a closed-off barn: " He snorted softly to himself. It wasn't selling souls that got you into trouble, it was buying them. Next time he would have to make sure there was a return policy. He laughed, opened his eyes a little. The dead man, Craddock, sat in the passenger seat next to him. He smiled at Jude, to show stained teeth and a black tongue. He smelled of death, also of car exhaust. His eyes were hidden behind those odd, continuously moving black brushstrokes."
Craddock turns out to be, without giving too much away, a man who was a spiritualist in his living life. He wants nothing but pain and misery for Coyne, who happened to kick his young step daughter to the curb a year before. The parts of the story that deal with both Coyne and Craddock interacting are the most interesting ones. Without these interactions, the story would have fallen very short.
That said, 'Heart-Shaped Box' had quite a few faults to it. Readers may notice that some pages contradict themselves on the very next page, Hill's overuse of Georgia's bangs (hair) as a description for all of her facial expressions, also Hill's habit of being repetitive with words that he uses to describe most things, the unbelievable part where Coyne- - - a collector of occult items- - - claims he has never used a Ouija board before (and lacks the knowledge of how to use one), and last but not least, chapter 34, a chapter that was not needed and completely stopped the story in it's tracks.
And speaking of things that were not needed in the story- - - a part where Georgia has a gun in her mouth, ready to commit suicide, Coyne can only think to remove the gun and replace it with his penis. I understand that Hill may have been going for unlikable characters from the beginning, to really have Coyne play the part of a jaded man, but sometimes Hill seems to go too far. Every book has to have a character to root for, otherwise your readers will put the book down, luckily, this book has Bammy; she is Georgia's grandmother, unfortunately, in less than 15 pages, she never appears in the story again. "You strung out? Christ. You smell like a dog." Bammy says to Georgia after she and Coyne show up at her home.
Is this book a good ghost story, yes, is this story a great horror story, no. Hill lacks on likable characters enough that I don't think a lot of people could enjoy this book. If I were to recommend it, I wouldn't recommend it to teenagers because of a much talked about snuff film, drugs and suicide. I don't think I would read this again.
'Heart-Shaped Box' does a successful job of not only painting a picture of ghosts, but also of the spirits that reside in animals (like a witch's familiar), but the likable characters in this book are few and far between. Coyne treats women as objects(he literally only calls them by the State name they are from,such as Florida), and also ended his own marriage by refusing to throw away a snuff film he had obtained from a police. When the story begins, Coyne is shacked up with a young woman (nearly 30 years younger) he calls Georgia; she is described as a stereo-typical goth: black hair, black nail polish, pale white skin. This description of the women Coyne has been with seem to be about the same, but maybe a different hair color, but any other woman that is ever mentioned in the book is either very old or very overweight.
Coyne, a collector of all things dark, buys a dead man's suit that is supposedly haunted by a woman's deceased stepfather. Quite quickly things begin to happen after the suit arrives, including a decaying smell, first noticed by Coyne's 'girlfriend,' Georgia: " I know. I was wondering if there was something in one of the pockets. Something going bad. Old food." She makes Coyne take a look at the suit to see if there is something dead inside of it, but he never finds the source of the smell. Instead, he finds a picture of a young girl in one of the pockets, a girl that is very familiar to Coyne, a girl he once called 'Florida.'
Coyne doesn't seem to take any of the signs seriously that he may be haunted by a ghost that wants to harm him and anyone who comes in contact with him. Until Coyne finds himself sitting inside his restored vintage Mustang in a closed-off barn: " He snorted softly to himself. It wasn't selling souls that got you into trouble, it was buying them. Next time he would have to make sure there was a return policy. He laughed, opened his eyes a little. The dead man, Craddock, sat in the passenger seat next to him. He smiled at Jude, to show stained teeth and a black tongue. He smelled of death, also of car exhaust. His eyes were hidden behind those odd, continuously moving black brushstrokes."
Craddock turns out to be, without giving too much away, a man who was a spiritualist in his living life. He wants nothing but pain and misery for Coyne, who happened to kick his young step daughter to the curb a year before. The parts of the story that deal with both Coyne and Craddock interacting are the most interesting ones. Without these interactions, the story would have fallen very short.
That said, 'Heart-Shaped Box' had quite a few faults to it. Readers may notice that some pages contradict themselves on the very next page, Hill's overuse of Georgia's bangs (hair) as a description for all of her facial expressions, also Hill's habit of being repetitive with words that he uses to describe most things, the unbelievable part where Coyne- - - a collector of occult items- - - claims he has never used a Ouija board before (and lacks the knowledge of how to use one), and last but not least, chapter 34, a chapter that was not needed and completely stopped the story in it's tracks.
And speaking of things that were not needed in the story- - - a part where Georgia has a gun in her mouth, ready to commit suicide, Coyne can only think to remove the gun and replace it with his penis. I understand that Hill may have been going for unlikable characters from the beginning, to really have Coyne play the part of a jaded man, but sometimes Hill seems to go too far. Every book has to have a character to root for, otherwise your readers will put the book down, luckily, this book has Bammy; she is Georgia's grandmother, unfortunately, in less than 15 pages, she never appears in the story again. "You strung out? Christ. You smell like a dog." Bammy says to Georgia after she and Coyne show up at her home.
Is this book a good ghost story, yes, is this story a great horror story, no. Hill lacks on likable characters enough that I don't think a lot of people could enjoy this book. If I were to recommend it, I wouldn't recommend it to teenagers because of a much talked about snuff film, drugs and suicide. I don't think I would read this again.
Cumberland (1142 KP) created a post in The Smashbomb Book Club
Jun 13, 2019
Bong Mines Entertainment (15 KP) rated Rather You Than Me by Rick Ross in Music
Jun 7, 2019
Rick Ross is a rapper and CEO of Maybach Music Group. Not too long ago, he released “Rather You Than Me“, a star-studded album filled with expensive thoughts and gun-toting lyrics.
This is Ross’ ninth studio album, and we can agree that his wisdom and wishful thinking are two ingredients which make this project noteworthy.
1) Rick Ross – “Apple of My Eye” (ft. Raphael Saadiq)
Ross, who used to view himself as a fat ugly ni^^a who wouldn’t be anything, now feels out of place in a room full of failures. His lyrical growth is obvious, and Major Nine’s production is reminiscent of ‘90s Funk/R&B. The mood is laid back with choppy drums beating to Beanie Sigel’s “I Feel It in the Air’ vibe.
Ross injects his thoughts about Meek’s & Nicki’s breakup, “I told Meek I wouldn’t trust Nicki, instead of beefing with your dog, you just give him some distance.” But the questionable, “I’m happy Donald Trump became the president because we gotta destroy before we elevate,” had us scratching our heads. Ni^^a what? Anyhow, this is a dope track and we will bump it again.
2) Rick Ross – “Santorini Greece”
Ross realizes that his success doesn’t exempt him from being crucified like Christ or anyone else. But one thing’s for sure, success gave Ross the ability to travel the world, and the bragging rights to say that he put Santorini, Greece on the map.
3) Rick Ross – “Idols Become Rivals” (ft. Chris Rock)
After letting the first two songs marinate, Ross adds a plot to the scene and pens a letter to Birdman, the CEO of Cash Money Records. If Tupac’s “Against All Odds” is the realest sh^t ever written in hip-hop, then this song is not too far behind. Ross airs out the rap mogul’s dirty laundry while taking him to the cleaners at the same time.
Black Metaphor’s track is laid back and Ross’s melodic flow is hypnotic. And Ross reaches Godfather status when he chooses to stick up for DJ Khalid, BG, Lil Wayne, Mannie Fresh, etc.
4) Rick Ross – “Trap Trap Trap” (ft. Young Thug, Wale)
Ross turns up the pulse and takes us on a trap journey with Young Thug and Wale. But unfortunately, Ross talking about trapping isn’t stimulating and doesn’t contribute to the momentum gained by the first three songs. Quite frankly, Ross already established his trapping legacy on his first album.
Now, it just sounds repetitive, causing our emotional attachment to depart temporarily, especially when Wale raps, “I ain’t nothing like them trap guys,” got us questioning the lineup, even though Wale delivers a dope verse. If the first three songs brought us to the third eye or crown chakra, then this song took us down to the solar chakra.
5) Rick Ross – “Dead Presidents” (ft. Future, Jeezy, Yo Gotti)
Ross goes lower to the root chakra and brings in a drug-dealing line up to support his trapping movement. But the drug-dealing references and gun-toting accolades blow a huge black cloud over Rather You Than Me, an optimistic album that Ross created to showcase his happiness of seeing other survivalist enjoying the finer things in life.
So, every time a dark thought or a dire situation is inserted, it defeats Ross’ higher purpose for the album. We would’ve appreciated this song more if it was on another project with a trapping theme.
6) Rick Ross – “She’s on My D*ck” (ft. Gucci Mane)
A dope, hard-knocking track produced by Beat Billionaire, keeps the momentum going horizontally when it should be moving vertically north towards Ross’ original script. This song has a mediocre theme and suffers from lack of creativity in the chorus, but the beat saves the song. [usr 3.0]
7) Rick Ross – “I Think She Like Me” (ft. Ty Dolla $ign)
Ross probably heard us yelling, “Stick to the script” because he restores order over J-Pilot- & C Gutta-produced track.
Ross raps with a Barry White vocal tone, “I once got no allowance, now I got the crown. I said I was The Boss, nobody made a sound. Really had to see them things, this level story telling. Who else could flip a chorus into 40 million?”
Ross wins here, and he wins big. One of the best in the business to talk that talk and Ty Dollar $ign comes through in the clutch.
8) Rick Ross – “Powers That Be” (ft. Nas)
Now in storytelling mode, Ross enlists lyricist Nas to help him usher his concept. The lyrics are on point but the fullness of the song is lackluster. We expected more, but only got a few firecrackers igniting, roman candles busting, minus the major firework show. It felt like an appetizer. You know? If you eat enough, you might be too full to finish your incoming meal.
9) Rick Ross – “Game Ain’t Based on Sympathy”
Ross reminisces about his past over a dope soul-inspired track with a groovy/psychedelic loop that blends in naturally with Ross’s deep monotone.
We can listen to Ross rap for hours, especially if he’s talking about conscious issues.
10) Rick Ross – “Scientology”
As the momentum, gradually rises back to the crown, Ross flows over a dope, wonderland of sounds track produced by Bink! & The Youngstars. Like going up an elevator, Ross took us to a destination that we didn’t know existed.
11) Lamborghini Doors – (ft. Meek Mill, Anthony Hamilton)
If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. Ross’ decision to follow in the same direction as “Scientology” was the right one because Ross’ and Meek Mill’s chemistry is heartfelt. Since the momentum is moving upwards towards the sky, it’s fitting when Meek said, “We coming up like them Lamborghini doors.”
12) Triple Platinum – (ft. Scrilla)
The prayer at the beginning does the album justice; and when Ross said, “Me and HOV back and forth like I’m triple platinum,” we saw how far Ross had come, and how far he still must go.
13) Maybach Music V – (ft. Katt Rockell & Dej Loaf)
Ross and Dej Loaf rap over an airy/dreamy track produced by Beat Butcha & Buda & Grandz. More expensive thoughts and money spending don’t hurt the momentum if the topic is about the finer things in life.
14) Summer Seventeen – (ft. Yo Gotti)
In conclusion, Ross ends the album on a gangster note. And the Beat Billionaire-produced track is hard as steel and bump-worthy. We love the theme, “I want my ni^^as rich by summer seventeen”, a wishful thought like that is what ‘Rather You Than Me’ is all about—everybody eating.
https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/rick-ross-rather-review/
This is Ross’ ninth studio album, and we can agree that his wisdom and wishful thinking are two ingredients which make this project noteworthy.
1) Rick Ross – “Apple of My Eye” (ft. Raphael Saadiq)
Ross, who used to view himself as a fat ugly ni^^a who wouldn’t be anything, now feels out of place in a room full of failures. His lyrical growth is obvious, and Major Nine’s production is reminiscent of ‘90s Funk/R&B. The mood is laid back with choppy drums beating to Beanie Sigel’s “I Feel It in the Air’ vibe.
Ross injects his thoughts about Meek’s & Nicki’s breakup, “I told Meek I wouldn’t trust Nicki, instead of beefing with your dog, you just give him some distance.” But the questionable, “I’m happy Donald Trump became the president because we gotta destroy before we elevate,” had us scratching our heads. Ni^^a what? Anyhow, this is a dope track and we will bump it again.
2) Rick Ross – “Santorini Greece”
Ross realizes that his success doesn’t exempt him from being crucified like Christ or anyone else. But one thing’s for sure, success gave Ross the ability to travel the world, and the bragging rights to say that he put Santorini, Greece on the map.
3) Rick Ross – “Idols Become Rivals” (ft. Chris Rock)
After letting the first two songs marinate, Ross adds a plot to the scene and pens a letter to Birdman, the CEO of Cash Money Records. If Tupac’s “Against All Odds” is the realest sh^t ever written in hip-hop, then this song is not too far behind. Ross airs out the rap mogul’s dirty laundry while taking him to the cleaners at the same time.
Black Metaphor’s track is laid back and Ross’s melodic flow is hypnotic. And Ross reaches Godfather status when he chooses to stick up for DJ Khalid, BG, Lil Wayne, Mannie Fresh, etc.
4) Rick Ross – “Trap Trap Trap” (ft. Young Thug, Wale)
Ross turns up the pulse and takes us on a trap journey with Young Thug and Wale. But unfortunately, Ross talking about trapping isn’t stimulating and doesn’t contribute to the momentum gained by the first three songs. Quite frankly, Ross already established his trapping legacy on his first album.
Now, it just sounds repetitive, causing our emotional attachment to depart temporarily, especially when Wale raps, “I ain’t nothing like them trap guys,” got us questioning the lineup, even though Wale delivers a dope verse. If the first three songs brought us to the third eye or crown chakra, then this song took us down to the solar chakra.
5) Rick Ross – “Dead Presidents” (ft. Future, Jeezy, Yo Gotti)
Ross goes lower to the root chakra and brings in a drug-dealing line up to support his trapping movement. But the drug-dealing references and gun-toting accolades blow a huge black cloud over Rather You Than Me, an optimistic album that Ross created to showcase his happiness of seeing other survivalist enjoying the finer things in life.
So, every time a dark thought or a dire situation is inserted, it defeats Ross’ higher purpose for the album. We would’ve appreciated this song more if it was on another project with a trapping theme.
6) Rick Ross – “She’s on My D*ck” (ft. Gucci Mane)
A dope, hard-knocking track produced by Beat Billionaire, keeps the momentum going horizontally when it should be moving vertically north towards Ross’ original script. This song has a mediocre theme and suffers from lack of creativity in the chorus, but the beat saves the song. [usr 3.0]
7) Rick Ross – “I Think She Like Me” (ft. Ty Dolla $ign)
Ross probably heard us yelling, “Stick to the script” because he restores order over J-Pilot- & C Gutta-produced track.
Ross raps with a Barry White vocal tone, “I once got no allowance, now I got the crown. I said I was The Boss, nobody made a sound. Really had to see them things, this level story telling. Who else could flip a chorus into 40 million?”
Ross wins here, and he wins big. One of the best in the business to talk that talk and Ty Dollar $ign comes through in the clutch.
8) Rick Ross – “Powers That Be” (ft. Nas)
Now in storytelling mode, Ross enlists lyricist Nas to help him usher his concept. The lyrics are on point but the fullness of the song is lackluster. We expected more, but only got a few firecrackers igniting, roman candles busting, minus the major firework show. It felt like an appetizer. You know? If you eat enough, you might be too full to finish your incoming meal.
9) Rick Ross – “Game Ain’t Based on Sympathy”
Ross reminisces about his past over a dope soul-inspired track with a groovy/psychedelic loop that blends in naturally with Ross’s deep monotone.
We can listen to Ross rap for hours, especially if he’s talking about conscious issues.
10) Rick Ross – “Scientology”
As the momentum, gradually rises back to the crown, Ross flows over a dope, wonderland of sounds track produced by Bink! & The Youngstars. Like going up an elevator, Ross took us to a destination that we didn’t know existed.
11) Lamborghini Doors – (ft. Meek Mill, Anthony Hamilton)
If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. Ross’ decision to follow in the same direction as “Scientology” was the right one because Ross’ and Meek Mill’s chemistry is heartfelt. Since the momentum is moving upwards towards the sky, it’s fitting when Meek said, “We coming up like them Lamborghini doors.”
12) Triple Platinum – (ft. Scrilla)
The prayer at the beginning does the album justice; and when Ross said, “Me and HOV back and forth like I’m triple platinum,” we saw how far Ross had come, and how far he still must go.
13) Maybach Music V – (ft. Katt Rockell & Dej Loaf)
Ross and Dej Loaf rap over an airy/dreamy track produced by Beat Butcha & Buda & Grandz. More expensive thoughts and money spending don’t hurt the momentum if the topic is about the finer things in life.
14) Summer Seventeen – (ft. Yo Gotti)
In conclusion, Ross ends the album on a gangster note. And the Beat Billionaire-produced track is hard as steel and bump-worthy. We love the theme, “I want my ni^^as rich by summer seventeen”, a wishful thought like that is what ‘Rather You Than Me’ is all about—everybody eating.
https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/rick-ross-rather-review/
Craig Davidson (18 KP) rated Aliens (1986) in Movies
May 11, 2019 (Updated May 11, 2019)
Hudson (3 more)
Pulse rifle
Alien queen
Marines
Stop ya grinning and drop ya linen
Contains spoilers, click to show
So what can I say about aliens. Since its release in 1986 it's become probably one of my favourite and go to films. James Cameron at his best.
The whole cast are amazing and although the movie is a little yawn until the marines come in to it I just adore it.
The movie picks up where alien finished finding Riley in the escape craft form the nostromo 57 years later. She is picked up by a salvage craft and taken back to be grilled by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation (nooooo) as to why she destroyed the nostromo.
As usual the big wigs do not believe the story and inform Ripley that the planet LV-426 is now inhabited by terraformers who are changing the planet to be more earth kike. Soooo after the grilling Ripley gets Carter Burke (slimey weasel corporate man ) sends people from Hadleys Hope station to investigate the coordinates where the alien ship was first encountered. And of course Newts dad ends up with a beauty of a face hugger on his mush. This starts the chain of events that basically wipes out the whole station.
So after a while Burke and Lt Gorman. track down Ripely to ask her to join them as an advisor and go back to LV-426. She of course says no until she has a dream and leaves her ginger pussy at home.
So now the film really begins and the USS Sulaco comes in to shit looking like a giant gun.
We then meet the colonial marines including Android bishop and my favourite film character of all time hudson.
They all arrive and on the planet and eventually come across the little girl Newt (Rebecca but no body calls her that ,except her brother ) who has survived the alien invasion by crawling around the air ducts.
The marines eventually find the rest of the colony via there trackers and head to collect them. Of course they find the colony people stuck to the walls by some sort of secreted resin ( but secreted by why what ?) With there chest cavities well open exposing there inner organs. They then find a live one ( in a shit ya pants moment) and we get to see the alien push through the poor woman's chest.
The marines torch the little git and then all hell breaks loose. But we get to hear the iconic sound of the pulse rifle and get to hear Vasquez shout "let's rock" as they try to sort out the pesky bug problem by spraying the whole place with bullets.
We loose slot of the secondary cast in this scene and they also crack one of the nuclear reactors which will blow up soon.
The marines fight hard but they end up loosing the drop ship and are stranded. So the plan is hatched to remote a new drip ship down from the sulaco.
The android bishop has to crawl down a very long pipe in a very claustrophobic scene to get a signal to use the remote control.
The rest of the people left alive Ripley ,Hicks ,Gorman ,Hudson ,Vasquez ,Newt and the horrible Burke at left in the station to set up and defend themselves and fortify the area.
But the alien have there clever mama and they attack in force.
It's is in this attack we see how brave the loudmouth marine Hudson is in what is my opinion one of the greatest last scenes ever of a character "fuck you " being his last words.
After this the rest are lost apart from Hicks and Ripley and newt and bishop .
Newt takes a slide down a vent and gets lost , Ripley then goes and gets her and comes across the bad ass bitch that's has been laying the alien eggs . A fight happens and Ripley gets newt out and back to the drop ship and back to USS Sulaco with hicks and bishop. But ohhhhh no the mama alien was on board and rips bishop in half and covers the place in milk. Ripley beats the crap out of the mama alien with a really cool fork lift then they all go to sleep.
Aliens for me is a classic and better than the original.
The whole cast are amazing and although the movie is a little yawn until the marines come in to it I just adore it.
The movie picks up where alien finished finding Riley in the escape craft form the nostromo 57 years later. She is picked up by a salvage craft and taken back to be grilled by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation (nooooo) as to why she destroyed the nostromo.
As usual the big wigs do not believe the story and inform Ripley that the planet LV-426 is now inhabited by terraformers who are changing the planet to be more earth kike. Soooo after the grilling Ripley gets Carter Burke (slimey weasel corporate man ) sends people from Hadleys Hope station to investigate the coordinates where the alien ship was first encountered. And of course Newts dad ends up with a beauty of a face hugger on his mush. This starts the chain of events that basically wipes out the whole station.
So after a while Burke and Lt Gorman. track down Ripely to ask her to join them as an advisor and go back to LV-426. She of course says no until she has a dream and leaves her ginger pussy at home.
So now the film really begins and the USS Sulaco comes in to shit looking like a giant gun.
We then meet the colonial marines including Android bishop and my favourite film character of all time hudson.
They all arrive and on the planet and eventually come across the little girl Newt (Rebecca but no body calls her that ,except her brother ) who has survived the alien invasion by crawling around the air ducts.
The marines eventually find the rest of the colony via there trackers and head to collect them. Of course they find the colony people stuck to the walls by some sort of secreted resin ( but secreted by why what ?) With there chest cavities well open exposing there inner organs. They then find a live one ( in a shit ya pants moment) and we get to see the alien push through the poor woman's chest.
The marines torch the little git and then all hell breaks loose. But we get to hear the iconic sound of the pulse rifle and get to hear Vasquez shout "let's rock" as they try to sort out the pesky bug problem by spraying the whole place with bullets.
We loose slot of the secondary cast in this scene and they also crack one of the nuclear reactors which will blow up soon.
The marines fight hard but they end up loosing the drop ship and are stranded. So the plan is hatched to remote a new drip ship down from the sulaco.
The android bishop has to crawl down a very long pipe in a very claustrophobic scene to get a signal to use the remote control.
The rest of the people left alive Ripley ,Hicks ,Gorman ,Hudson ,Vasquez ,Newt and the horrible Burke at left in the station to set up and defend themselves and fortify the area.
But the alien have there clever mama and they attack in force.
It's is in this attack we see how brave the loudmouth marine Hudson is in what is my opinion one of the greatest last scenes ever of a character "fuck you " being his last words.
After this the rest are lost apart from Hicks and Ripley and newt and bishop .
Newt takes a slide down a vent and gets lost , Ripley then goes and gets her and comes across the bad ass bitch that's has been laying the alien eggs . A fight happens and Ripley gets newt out and back to the drop ship and back to USS Sulaco with hicks and bishop. But ohhhhh no the mama alien was on board and rips bishop in half and covers the place in milk. Ripley beats the crap out of the mama alien with a really cool fork lift then they all go to sleep.
Aliens for me is a classic and better than the original.
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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again! (2018) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
I had a dream. A sob. A sing.
You remember in “Aliens” when Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) fought through hell and high water against that “bitch” to protect the youngster Newt (Carrie Henn)? And then how betrayed you felt in that emotional investment at the start of “Alien 3”?
Which brings us spoiler-free to the start of “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again”, typically shortened by everyone to “Mamma Mia 2”, the sequel to the enormously successful cheese-fest (and Bros-fest) that was the first film, now – unbelievably – 10 years old.
Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is trying to open the Bella Donna hotel on that magical Greek island separated from her husband Sky (Dominic Cooper) who is learning the tips of the hotel trade in New York. As preparations for the opening party progress we flash back to the back-story of Donna (as a post-graduate played by Lily James) as she meets Harry (Hugh Skinner, “The Windsors”, “W1A”), Bill (Josh Dylan, “Allied”) and Sam (Jeremy Irvine, “War Horse”) en route to Greece.
If you remember the first film and thought Donna (Meryl Streep) was a bit of a… erm… ‘loose woman’, then this plot point could have been amplified by seeing the “dot, dot, dot” acts in the flesh, as it were. Fortunately, in steps Lily James as the young Donna who is so mesmerisingly gorgeous and vivacious that you can forgive her just about anything. “Beguiling” was the description my better half came up with, and I couldn’t describe her better. Supporting her effectively are Alexa Davies (as the young version of Julie Walters‘ character) and Jessica Keenan Wynn (as the young version of Christine Baranski‘s character). The trio’s exuberant performance of “When I Kissed the Teacher” sets the tone well for the grin-fest to follow. (By the way, if you are a Mary Poppins fan then a bit of trivia is that Wynn is the great-granddaughter of Ed Wynn, the character who “Loved to Laugh” on the ceiling!).
In these days of drought, Trump vs the world, Brexit and universal bruhaha, this is a much-needed joyful film, and far better I would say than the original. A good story, well executed and stuffed with excellent tunes. True, apart from a number of key repeats, we are more in the territory – in CD terms – of “More Abba Gold” than “Abba Gold”, but Bjorn and Benny’s B-sides are still better than many other’s A-sides. What’s really nice is that the songs are well chosen to mesh better into the story and the lead singing of Seyfried and James is uniformly excellent. Pierce Brosnan gets to sing (no, no, come back!) but it is cleverly low-key and genuinely touching. And as for Celia Imrie, you’re a legend and we forgive you!
It’s also far better at finding both humour and pathos than the original, with the splendid Hugh Skinner exhibiting perfect comic timing and comedian Omid Djalili being very funny (stay to the end of the end-credits for a very funny monkey). National treasure Julie Walters also adds excellent comic content, particularly in a number of dance scenes.
And as for the pathos, if the duet at the finale doesn’t move you to tears you are either made of rock or are immune to being shamelessly manipulated! It’s a well-scripted convergence of grief and joy (I feel Richard Curtis‘s hand in the story here) around one of Abba’s most beautifully tear-jerking songs. I will admit to you – don’t tell anyone else – that I was left in a complete mess… another reason to sit through the end titles!
At the elderly end of the cast list Andy Garcia is magnificent as the South American hotel manager Mr Cienfuegos (you’ll NEVER guess what his first name is!) and Cher (“Moonstruck”) literally rocks up trying hard to steal the show as Sophie’s Vegas superstar grandmother.
Directed and scripted by “Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” director Ol Parker (the lucky guy who is married to Thandie Newton!) it drips with cheese again, but who cares when it is so stylishly done. Should you see this? The test is simple: if you hated “Mamma Mia” then you will hate this one; if you loved “Mamma Mia” you will simply adore this one.
Which brings us spoiler-free to the start of “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again”, typically shortened by everyone to “Mamma Mia 2”, the sequel to the enormously successful cheese-fest (and Bros-fest) that was the first film, now – unbelievably – 10 years old.
Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is trying to open the Bella Donna hotel on that magical Greek island separated from her husband Sky (Dominic Cooper) who is learning the tips of the hotel trade in New York. As preparations for the opening party progress we flash back to the back-story of Donna (as a post-graduate played by Lily James) as she meets Harry (Hugh Skinner, “The Windsors”, “W1A”), Bill (Josh Dylan, “Allied”) and Sam (Jeremy Irvine, “War Horse”) en route to Greece.
If you remember the first film and thought Donna (Meryl Streep) was a bit of a… erm… ‘loose woman’, then this plot point could have been amplified by seeing the “dot, dot, dot” acts in the flesh, as it were. Fortunately, in steps Lily James as the young Donna who is so mesmerisingly gorgeous and vivacious that you can forgive her just about anything. “Beguiling” was the description my better half came up with, and I couldn’t describe her better. Supporting her effectively are Alexa Davies (as the young version of Julie Walters‘ character) and Jessica Keenan Wynn (as the young version of Christine Baranski‘s character). The trio’s exuberant performance of “When I Kissed the Teacher” sets the tone well for the grin-fest to follow. (By the way, if you are a Mary Poppins fan then a bit of trivia is that Wynn is the great-granddaughter of Ed Wynn, the character who “Loved to Laugh” on the ceiling!).
In these days of drought, Trump vs the world, Brexit and universal bruhaha, this is a much-needed joyful film, and far better I would say than the original. A good story, well executed and stuffed with excellent tunes. True, apart from a number of key repeats, we are more in the territory – in CD terms – of “More Abba Gold” than “Abba Gold”, but Bjorn and Benny’s B-sides are still better than many other’s A-sides. What’s really nice is that the songs are well chosen to mesh better into the story and the lead singing of Seyfried and James is uniformly excellent. Pierce Brosnan gets to sing (no, no, come back!) but it is cleverly low-key and genuinely touching. And as for Celia Imrie, you’re a legend and we forgive you!
It’s also far better at finding both humour and pathos than the original, with the splendid Hugh Skinner exhibiting perfect comic timing and comedian Omid Djalili being very funny (stay to the end of the end-credits for a very funny monkey). National treasure Julie Walters also adds excellent comic content, particularly in a number of dance scenes.
And as for the pathos, if the duet at the finale doesn’t move you to tears you are either made of rock or are immune to being shamelessly manipulated! It’s a well-scripted convergence of grief and joy (I feel Richard Curtis‘s hand in the story here) around one of Abba’s most beautifully tear-jerking songs. I will admit to you – don’t tell anyone else – that I was left in a complete mess… another reason to sit through the end titles!
At the elderly end of the cast list Andy Garcia is magnificent as the South American hotel manager Mr Cienfuegos (you’ll NEVER guess what his first name is!) and Cher (“Moonstruck”) literally rocks up trying hard to steal the show as Sophie’s Vegas superstar grandmother.
Directed and scripted by “Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” director Ol Parker (the lucky guy who is married to Thandie Newton!) it drips with cheese again, but who cares when it is so stylishly done. Should you see this? The test is simple: if you hated “Mamma Mia” then you will hate this one; if you loved “Mamma Mia” you will simply adore this one.
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Cop Out (2010) in Movies
Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Jun 23, 2019)
Jimmy Monroe (Bruce Willis) and Paul Hodges (Tracy Morgan) have been working as partners at the NYPD for the past nine years. They have a reputation at the precinct for doing things their own sporadic and wreckful way that isn't normal procedure and usually winds up getting them into hot water with the captain. A suspect is brought in for interrogation and when he finally spills the beans on a drug deal happening that afternoon, Jimmy and Paul think it's best to act on it right then and there. After their plan fails, their suspect is killed and months of work is flushed down the drain. Jimmy and Paul are suspended for 30 days without pay, which isn't good news for Jimmy since his daughter is getting married and has the typical expensive wedding of her dreams in mind. Jimmy plans on selling a collectible baseball card that could pay for his daughter's wedding and then some, but the card is stolen by some crackheads before he can get the chance. Now Jimmy's just trying to get the card back to pay for his daughter's wedding, but him and Paul, who's too distracted with his wife's possible infidelity to really concentrate on the task at hand, are thrown into something much deeper.
To tell the truth, I wasn't looking forward to this film at all. I'm a pretty big fan of most of Kevin Smith's work, but he didn't write the film. It could be argued that he did write Jersey Girl and that could be considered a bomb, but his films usually average about $25-$30 million anyway. A Kevin Smith film isn't really about bringing in a large amount of money at the box office. His charm is in his writing, especially the dialogue and interaction between characters. There's a very specific audience his films will appeal to and none of them have really branched away from that. But him not writing this one made me think, "Eh. Not sure what that'll be like since he didn't write it." When it comes to Bruce Willis, I've never talked to anyone who dislikes him entirely. There always seems to be at least one of his films everybody enjoys. Die Hard, The Fifth Element, and Sin City are just a few off the top of my head. The real buzz-killer for me though was Tracy Morgan. He's just never been funny to me. He was beyond lame on Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock has never been able to hold my attention for very long. Not to mention all the trailers for Cop Out didn't make me laugh. Thankfully though, first impressions can be so very wrong.
One of Cop Out's biggest charms is that it feels like a buddy cop comedy you've seen before, but have forgotten how much you enjoy it. The film feels similar to a 48 Hrs or Beverly Hills Cop film. Bulletproof is also a good example. Cop Out is pretty much what you expect when it comes to roles Bruce Willis chooses as it's pretty much no different than his role as John McClane on the surface, but he's a lot funnier this time around. As far as Tracy Morgan goes, the funniest thing I could remember him saying was his one line in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back ("Man... I don't know what the f--- you just said, Little Kid, but you're special man, you reached out, and you touched a brother's heart.") until this film. He was downright hilarious at times. The only person who was funnier than Morgan was Seann William Scott who stole every scene he was in. Even though Kevin Smith didn't pen the script this time around, it still feels like a Kevin Smith film. It could be due to the fact that Jason Lee has a small role in the film, but I like to think it's because Cop Out offers the same kind of comedy you'd find in a Kevin Smith film with a bit more action. It also took me forever to place Scarface from Half Baked as Poh Boy.
Cop Out is surprisingly funny and incredibly entertaining. Give this film a chance even if the trailers may not be doing anything for you. I felt the same way and wound up thoroughly enjoying the film. After a long, stressful day at work, an R-rated comedy with a lot of laughs is one of the best ways to relax and this film offers just that. It's a great film to go into with no expectations other than to just have a good time.
To tell the truth, I wasn't looking forward to this film at all. I'm a pretty big fan of most of Kevin Smith's work, but he didn't write the film. It could be argued that he did write Jersey Girl and that could be considered a bomb, but his films usually average about $25-$30 million anyway. A Kevin Smith film isn't really about bringing in a large amount of money at the box office. His charm is in his writing, especially the dialogue and interaction between characters. There's a very specific audience his films will appeal to and none of them have really branched away from that. But him not writing this one made me think, "Eh. Not sure what that'll be like since he didn't write it." When it comes to Bruce Willis, I've never talked to anyone who dislikes him entirely. There always seems to be at least one of his films everybody enjoys. Die Hard, The Fifth Element, and Sin City are just a few off the top of my head. The real buzz-killer for me though was Tracy Morgan. He's just never been funny to me. He was beyond lame on Saturday Night Live and 30 Rock has never been able to hold my attention for very long. Not to mention all the trailers for Cop Out didn't make me laugh. Thankfully though, first impressions can be so very wrong.
One of Cop Out's biggest charms is that it feels like a buddy cop comedy you've seen before, but have forgotten how much you enjoy it. The film feels similar to a 48 Hrs or Beverly Hills Cop film. Bulletproof is also a good example. Cop Out is pretty much what you expect when it comes to roles Bruce Willis chooses as it's pretty much no different than his role as John McClane on the surface, but he's a lot funnier this time around. As far as Tracy Morgan goes, the funniest thing I could remember him saying was his one line in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back ("Man... I don't know what the f--- you just said, Little Kid, but you're special man, you reached out, and you touched a brother's heart.") until this film. He was downright hilarious at times. The only person who was funnier than Morgan was Seann William Scott who stole every scene he was in. Even though Kevin Smith didn't pen the script this time around, it still feels like a Kevin Smith film. It could be due to the fact that Jason Lee has a small role in the film, but I like to think it's because Cop Out offers the same kind of comedy you'd find in a Kevin Smith film with a bit more action. It also took me forever to place Scarface from Half Baked as Poh Boy.
Cop Out is surprisingly funny and incredibly entertaining. Give this film a chance even if the trailers may not be doing anything for you. I felt the same way and wound up thoroughly enjoying the film. After a long, stressful day at work, an R-rated comedy with a lot of laughs is one of the best ways to relax and this film offers just that. It's a great film to go into with no expectations other than to just have a good time.
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5 Minute Movie Guy (379 KP) rated If I Stay (2014) in Movies
Jun 28, 2019
The film's "live or die" premise is dumb, dangerous, and downright offensive. (4 more)
A totally lousy and illogical love story that lacks any heart.
The dialogue is almost as bad as Adam's 8-year-old-grade-level music lyrics.
It's far too frustrating and bland to be emotionally effective. The only pity I felt was for myself for having to sit through it for two hours.
If I Stay is unforgivable and reprehensible garbage. It should be avoided like the plague.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. If I Stay disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level.
Imagine yourself in a situation where your whole life is turned upside-down in an instant, and nothing will ever be the same again. That’s the troubling position young Mia Hall is faced with in If I Stay, after her and her family are involved in a terrible car accident. Mia wakes up from the crash, only to discover that she’s having some sort of transcendental experience, where she sees her own lifeless body being treated by paramedics. In her ghost-like form, no one is able to see or hear her, leaving her helpless as she watches her tragedy unfold. The devastating crash put her into a comatose state, and as she teeters on the verge of life and death, she’s informed by her nurse that whether or not she lives is entirely predicated on her will to survive. Based on the young adult novel by Gayle Forman, If I Stay asks us if life is still worth living even when all hope appears to be lost. Whether it’s really even worth it to endure life’s cruel hardship and heartache, and to muster the courage to face another day.
Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.
Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.
First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.
If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)
Well, if you answered that question with a resounding “yes!”, then like me, you’ll probably find this movie to be pretty darn stupid. Actually, regardless of your opinion on the matter, I think it would be hard for anyone to escape the fact that this movie is pretty darn stupid. However, as much as I find the central question of the movie to be absurd and even offensive, it didn’t detract from my interest in seeing the film. So let’s not make the assumption that I disliked this movie from the get-go, because that’s really just not true. Even though I may disagree with it, I can certainly sympathize with the idea of a teenager who is experiencing a life-shattering trauma and is afraid to continue living on afterward. However, I would personally argue that she hasn’t actually experienced any of that at all. She’s living in an extra dimensional safe-zone. Her horror can’t be real unless she makes it real by returning to life to face it. To look at it another way, couldn’t we say that if she chose death instead, that she never would have experienced the tragedy at all since she was stuck in a coma, and that she would be dead without ever knowing the fate of her family? That’s what I think, though I’ll admit it’s rather complicated as it draws upon unanswerable questions. To be frank, it’s a bogus scenario for a bogus movie that isn’t even worthy of that much thought, and clearly wasn’t ever given that much thought.
Before I digress on this topic, I’d like to look into a few of its implications, because I think it’s sending a terrible and dangerous message to its viewers, particularly the teenagers it’s targeted to. Basically, I believe the film is implying that death is a perfectly okay alternative to facing an undesirable change. I find that very idea to be immoral, irresponsible, and horribly atrocious. “Sorry your dad died, Timmy. If you can’t bear to live another day and want to end it all right here, well that’s okay with us. We understand and we won’t judge!” Are you kidding me? What kind of a message are they trying to send here? “Bad day? Just give up! Things are great here in Heaven! Join us today!” Is that really what they’re trying to tell us? How is anyone possibly okay with this? The film is essentially preaching that killing yourself is a perfectly acceptable option when life gets hard, and I have a really big problem with that. Whether we want to think about it or not, suicide is always an option we have in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should encourage it or try to pretend that it’s ever a favorable opportunity. Mia doesn’t even know what life will be like if she wakes up because she hasn’t lived it yet. Her fears are fully based off of negative assumptions. Yeah, maybe things will be really hard if she comes out of her coma. Maybe she’ll wish she was dead. Or maybe she’ll go through some difficult times, but then maybe things will get better and she’ll pick up the pieces and end up living a wonderful and happy life. Had she actually endured this new life and struggled with thoughts about suicide, I think it would have made for a far more compelling narrative, rather than all of this hypothetic nonsense. Either way, good or bad, life goes on. It’s up to us to adapt to it. Where there is hope, there is always possibility. With all that said, I would still contend that If I Stay’s premise is only the tip of the iceberg of its problems. This supposed tear-jerked failed to stir up any sympathy or sadness from me, and there are a few major reasons why.
First of all, it completely fails as a love story. The film is almost entirely devoid of romance, and has no believable connection between Mia and her boyfriend, Adam. Rather than being a Prince Charming type, Adam’s mostly just a jerk that she shouldn’t be wasting her time with in the first place. Yet the movie tries to make you believe that it’s love, and that this is what all normal relationships are like. It’s a complete crock. Movies like this give girls a false understanding of what love should be, and I find that to be an unforgivable offense. Adam’s the local hot shot rocker who falls for Mia, the talented young cello player who aspires to go to the renowned music school Julliard in New York. Adam manages to win her heart and the two of them start dating. Unfortunately though, their relationship can be pretty unpleasant to watch. Adam’s living the life of a local rock star and is blindly dragging Mia along for the ride, introducing the sweet, young girl to a world of parties, sex, and alcohol. Adam’s utterly oblivious to her disinterest in such a lifestyle and he rarely shows any concern for her feelings anyway. Yet she’s so foolishly committed to him that she follows this path of corruption, all for a guy who only thinks about himself. I thought this was supposed to be a love story, but it’s severely lacking in the love department. Just because Adam occasionally does something nice, we’re supposed to think he’s a good guy and forgive him for the majority of the time when he’s a lousy boyfriend and a loser? Of course, how romantic! Their whole relationship is lifeless and immensely frustrating. If living with him was my alternative to death, believe me, I’d choose death without hesitation.
Had I not seen this film with a friend, it would have been the first movie I’ve ever walked out of. I haven’t hated a movie this much all year. Even with my friend there, I still thought about leaving, then had a good laugh about the film’s title being so perfectly appropriate, as I contemplated to myself whether or not I should go. As much as I wanted to leave, I stuck it out all the way to the end. Then the entire audience ended up laughing at the ending, which goes to show I was far from the only one that thought this movie was a complete joke and waste of time. I had more than a few laughs at the film’s expense, from its dumb and derivative dialogue, to the way Chloe Grace Moretz slightly crosses her eyes whenever she’s upset. While I think I still remained open-minded about the film despite my issues with the story, I really don’t think the film itself was any good, nor does it appear to serve any purpose. Seriously, what’s the point of this movie? To give people hope that you can overcome obstacles in life? To justify suicide? I don’t know. Halfway through the movie, I was so disengaged from it that I was imagining how fun it would be to do cartwheels in the theater. That must be the lesson that I learned from all this. Well, that and to steer clear of crummy musicians, I suppose. While I’ve heard a lot of praise about the film’s soundtrack, I thought Adam’s band was quite horrendous. They do have a moment of redemption when they cover a Smashing Pumpkins song, which may have been the only good moment in this otherwise pitiful movie. I also found the lyrics of that song to be unusually appropriate to my misery when they said, “I’ll rip my eyes out, before I get out.” It’s almost funny that this might have been the only moment of the movie I could actually relate to: the thought of ripping my eyes out before being able to leave.
If I Stay is a movie that disappoints and offends on nearly every conceivable level. The saddest thing about this film is that garbage like this actually exists. Its pro-death agenda is just plain horrible and ill-conceived. It also troubles me greatly to think that teenage girls might watch this film and think that Mia and Adam’s tumultuous relationship is a desirable model of love. Lastly, I’d like to note that the If I Stay novel does have a follow-up book titled Where She Went. Wherever she goes, I sure hope it’s not back to theaters. If I have to sit through another If I Stay movie, I might just give up on life myself.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 9.5.14.)