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The Emoji Movie (2017)
The Emoji Movie (2017)
2017 | Animation
I decided to ease into August with The Emoji Film. Now, I went on to Rotten Tomatoes after seeing some talk online about it getting a zero rating. Currently it stands at 6% with the critics... what a bunch of party poopers.

Gene lives in Alex's phone in Textopolis, a digital city where all the emojis live and work. When you've honed your emoji skill you can go and work in the cube, and be there for Alex every time he wants to send a message. Gene longs for that day, but there's one slight problem... Gene is a meh, and he's anything but meh. His parents are both experts at meh, and at his first day at work they're rather nervous... not that you could tell from their expressions.

On his first go in his cube he manages to pull the wrong face and sets off a chain of events that lead Smiler to conclude that he's a malfunction who needs to be dealt with. Gene and High Five embark on a journey to the Piracy App to meet someone who can reprogram him to be a better meh. But as they make their way there they cause a few issues on Alex's phone that makes him take the bold decision to take it back to the shop for a factory reset.

Can they reprogram Gene and have everything back to normal before that happens?...

So the critics panned it with a resounding thumbs down emoji, the general public were a little more generous, and left it at around the 50% mark.

Was the film entertaining? Yes. Will it win awards? No. But it does what you expect it to do, it makes you laugh and smile, and it got my toe tapping. I love the idea that my apps are all having a good time when I'm not using them, especially that poor little Stocks app... I mean does anyone ever use that?

There are a lot of recognisable voices in the mix. Patrick Stewart as the Poop emoji, possibly the most amusing of all.

Probably my only criticism of this is that it's not really a kid's film, and it's not really an adult's film. Which makes it a bit difficult to ever recommend to anyone. It's not worth a full price ticket at the cinema, especially as in all likelihood it'll be an adult and a child going together at the very least. I wouldn't even recommend buying it as a DVD when it comes out straight away. At some point though it will be £1 in Poundland, and then it will be worth buying. Or you can of course stream it from somewhere like Netflix or Sky before that point.
  
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Kristy H (1252 KP) rated Ill Will in Books

Jan 21, 2018  
Ill Will
Ill Will
Dan Chaon | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry
3
7.2 (5 Ratings)
Book Rating
Forced premise (2 more)
Storytelling & writing that drives you insane
Not interesting
You'll probably love it or hate it
Dustin Tillman is a psychologist in Ohio; he's married with two sons and rarely even thinks about the horrific incident of his childhood, when his adopted brother, Rusty, murdered Dustin's parents and his aunt and uncle. Dustin was just a child then, and his brother was arrested largely on the testimony of Dustin and his cousin Kate and the 1980s' fears over satanism. But now Dustin learns that Rusty is being released from prison; his appeal has been granted, and his verdict overturned based on DNA evidence. Meanwhile, Dustin is struggling with one of his patients, Aqil, a former police officer who believes there is a link among a group of drunken college boys who have died by drowning. As more and more things start going wrong in Dustin's life, he gets drawn into Aqil's paranoia-- and he threatens to bring down his family with him.

This book had an interesting premise: linking two sets of crimes in the past and present, but I felt like that premise was a little forced/falsified, and I never got into the book, or the characters. As a reader, you'll probably find the way it's written either brilliant or incredibly irritating, and I fell squarely into the irritating camp. There are very abrupt chapter switches between the present and the past that are quite annoying, making it difficult to tell exactly where you are in time. The changes in point of view aren't as bad, allowing you to hear from Dustin, his son, and others, but it still gets confusing quickly. (Sidebar: doesn't anyone just tell a linear story from one person's point of view anymore?)

Even more, the story is written quite like the characters think--which is fine in theory--for instance, this includes Dustin's tendency to just stop mid-sentence, something his family teases him about. After a bit you get somewhat used to the random sentences that end mid-thought, or the weird white spaces, but it's still strange. Other parts are the story are split into two or three parts on a page and told almost in parallel, causing you to flip back and forth to read each set. I never was quite sure of the point of that. Yes, people in the novel are going crazy and on drugs. I could get that concept and not have to flip back and forth constantly to read chunks of the story. It's one of those storytelling devices that, to me, could be amazing, but just winds up driving you slightly insane.

This novel is also very dark. Again, that's fine. I just finished The Roanoke Girls, which was incredibly dark, and loved it. But this one: I just didn't find it that interesting. I found myself finishing it more out of a vague curiosity and duty than anything else. I figured out one of the main plot points pretty on and wasn't engaged with any of the characters. Then, after all of this, the ending is awful and vague, and there's no resolution, and I found myself just throwing the whole thing down in disgust. Definitely not one of my favorites. I can see the potential for others, but it wasn't for me.

I received a copy of this novel from the publisher and Netgalley (thank you) in return for an unbiased review.
  
Judy & Punch (2019)
Judy & Punch (2019)
2019 | Comedy, Crime, Drama
6
6.3 (3 Ratings)
Movie Rating
This had been low on my list of things to see at the film festival but several people recommended it to me so I decided to take a look.

In the town of Seaside, which is nowhere near the sea, Judy lives in something less than domestic bliss with Punch and their baby. Punch's shows are a hit and he's got dreams of grand things, but Judy is the real brains behind the outfit though he'd never admit it.

Judy leaves Punch in charge of the baby while she runs errands but despite the responsibility he gets drunk and an unforgivable accident occurs. In his effort to cover his tracks Punch puts his wife on a journey that leads her to a community in the woods where she can plan her revenge on him for his evil ways.

The film has a very heavy sense of fairy tale about it and certainly the setting wouldn't be out of place in almost any tale you could bring to mind. The location and buildings are perfect and yet somehow didn't seem quite right, this is very much an afterthought though, as I watched it I thought the depiction was good.

The parallels shown between the story of the couple's home life and the puppet show are clear throughout, my only worry is that you might not get a good understanding of that if you aren't aware of the traditional Punch and Judy shows. This wouldn't have been something I'd have thought about before but more and more I talk about things with people and the response is "I've never heard of that"... god I feel old.

Damon Herriman has taken off his Manson mask for this one and I found him to be a very good lead as Punch. He manages to capture the devious side of Punch, and honestly, anyone who can pull off the scene with the baby with a straight face deserves recognition... and yes, I do feel kind of bad for laughing.

Mia Wasikowska (who also starred in Blackbird, review coming soon) had two very different versions of Judy to play. Judy-1 gives us an outgoing and resilient woman, Judy-2.0 is angry and vengeful though there's a happiness in her once she gets to know the community who rescue her. This second incarnation wasn't entirely to my liking, I much preferred the earlier more lighthearted take on her. I can see why the change in her demeanour was fitting it didn't quite feel like a true transformation.

I enjoyed Judy & Punch, it was something different to watch which I always find to be an interesting experience but I'm not sure I'd need to see it again. I was entertained while I sat through it but apart from one scene there was nothing I see myself remembering further down the line.

Just a couple of honourable mentions: I enjoyed the music, the jazzed up classical pieces fit in nicely, and the dog wearing its own ruff? Adorable!

What you should do
I don't think you need to rush out and see this one but if you happen to come across it at some point it might be worth watching.

Movie thing you wish you could take home
It has to be an impish little dog wearing a ruff... because what else would a sensible person pick?!
  
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Mothergamer (1521 KP) rated the PlayStation 3 version of Assassin's Creed III in Video Games

Apr 3, 2019  
Assassin's Creed III
Assassin's Creed III
Action/Adventure
Contains spoilers, click to show
So after a long hiatus, I finished Assassin's Creed III. Did I like the game? Yes, definitely. Did I love it? Not so much. First let's get the good things out of the way. I really liked that there was a new world to explore and a great part of history to be involved in; the Revolutionary War. This made for a lot of interesting missions, side quests, and battles. I did like the new costume designs for the game and I definitely liked the new weapons. I did like seeing quite a few historical faces in the game and some of them had some pretty good missions. The story was fairly interesting especially towards the end when further details are revealed answering a lot of questions from the previous game. While I did wish for more city exploration, I did enjoy exploring the frontier areas because it was new and there was some interesting things going on out there.
 Now, let us get to the parts that I found mildly disappointing and the parts that were so infuriating they got A LOT of swearing from me.

 1.Connor Is A Wooden Boy: Connor while an interesting character, came across as wooden and I wasn't really feeling the passion from him or any emotion really. Even when he was supposed to be angry, it just came across as angst filled teenager. Shouldn't he be angrier about some of the things that have happened? I mean I know I would be full on raging if half the stuff he survives in this game happened to me. Speaking in a flat monotone in every situation is just not working for me. I also wish they had done a bit more with the story about Connor's tribe because it seemed like they were just a blip of a plot point and not much else which was a little disappointing. There's also this sense of Connor just being along for the ride and even as a full fledged assassin he doesn't really get to shine, so his story seems lost and smacks of missed opportunity. Bottom line, the pacing is off and that's never good when your main character doesn't feel like he's the main character to you.

 2. The damned lock picking: Really, how hard is it to have decent controls for lock picking the chests you find in the game? I suggest that all those game developers go play all the Thief games so they can see how it's done. There is no excuse that late in the game for shoddy controls. Hold both buttons down, swirl around to find the correct "signal" and realize that you have the skills of a drunken monkey when you can't get the damn thing open. Also file under "the right signal my effing ass" because it was ridiculous.

 3. Paul Revere's Midnight Ride Mission: Yes, they did their research and yes, it was cool they had that in the game. However, never have I wanted so badly to shove a historical person off a horse. Having to constantly ask the man for directions while he yelled at me, "More to the left! No, more right!" made me seriously consider handing him over to the enemy. It was only for a minute, I swear.

 4. THE DAMN NAVAL BATTLES: There is a good reason why that is in all caps. There is no real learning curve here. It's pretty much a learn or sink your ship situation here. While I get that the ships can't turn on a dime just like real ships from that era; the controls are pardon my French, utter shit. Not only are they clunky, there are some questionable load times for firing the various cannons and lord help you if you end up getting turned around and smashing on some rocks. One of the naval battles was so damn infuriating, my husband Ron had to step in and finish it for me. Yes, it was that bad.

 5. The Chasing Lee Mission: This was the final mission in Connor's main story and it made me want to tear my hair out and scream out my frustration. I did scream in fact. Many times. First there's the optional objectives of don't shove anyone while you're running, followed by don't let any of the British soldiers touch you. So instead of oh I don't know getting to shoot murdering bad guy in the face, you have to run an obstacle course full of people, things, and a burning ship like you're an Olympic marathon champ. Then we factor in, how Lee is only five steps away from you but you get the desynchronization message if you don't get closer to him. At one point I was standing right IN FRONT of him in the burning ship; I could have had him right there, but because it wasn't part of the "story" he took off running and I got that message. I finally did finish that mission and the payoff for it wasn't really worth it; trust me.

 6. Desmond Got Screwed Over: While I understand that Desmond's story was ending; the way they sent him off left no real resolution for him and it seemed as if they were just tired of him. Desmond needed a proper send off with some actual closure; not an ending that screamed, 'Hey, we're kind of bored and tired of this guy, so we're getting rid of him okay? 'Kay, see ya!'

Those were the big things that really disappointed me and made me nuts. My thinking was I couldn't believe they spent three years working on this game and this is what we got. I loved the previous Assassin's Creed games and I was genuinely excited for this one, but there were many things that disappointed me. While I liked the game and I did like the ending (not the thing that happened to Desmond because that was some bullshit), I didn't love it. It felt like perhaps they rushed a bit or just didn't test things out fully to make sure they worked right (I'm looking at you, lock picking controls team) or they couldn't be bothered. I'm not expecting perfection, but after working on something for three years, you better be able to deliver the goods. This is just my take on it, if you want to try it out by all means, go ahead. Just don't expect stellar, because that is not going to happen. Expect kind of good, but not great, and fun to play through once.
  
No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith by Motorhead
No Sleep 'Til Hammersmith by Motorhead
1981 | Rock
(0 Ratings)
Album Favorite

"When I first this record I thought, ""What's wrong with the singer's voice?"" The second time I heard it I thought, ""Fuck, that guy looks like he's a savage killer!"" By the third time I'd heard it and seen the video, I thought, ""I like these guys…"" You need the right amount of exposure to these kinds of possibilities. People have certain prejudices against certain bands based on how they look but unless you're open-minded, you never know what you're missing out on. On top of the actual music, Motörhead embodied a lifestyle too. If you looked at Phil 'Philthy Animal' Taylor, may his soul rest in peace, he looked like a punk. He was the embodiment of cool. The only other guy who ever had that for me was when Chris Cornell had long hair! You just thought, ""That guy has got it going on."" Looking at Lemmy, who looked like a badass biker, and then Fast Eddie's darkness, Motörhead was all so cool. People ask me so often to comment on Lemmy's death and I always try to switch it to a comment on his life. How about we celebrate his existence? I saw a picture of him the other day and I found myself just staring and missing him a lot. Lemmy never hurt anyone or anything as far as I know. He never had to back up that dangerous attitude with anything else, like some of the things you're seeing on the internet just now with people shouting offensive things from the stage. That's an interesting breed of frontman and Lemmy was never like that. He knew who he was. It's hard when you can't understand when someone you know is gone. They're here, then they're gone and it's final. One of the most important lessons in that is to love people that are important to you and just be nice to people. You never know how long they'll be around."

Source
  
MH
Mr Harrigan's Phone (2022)
2022 | Horror
6
6.5 (2 Ratings)
Movie Rating
A young teen is running through the woods and stands on a cliffside looking over. We get a 2003 flash up on the screen and a narration starts of how a teenage boy got a job with a rich elderly man called Mr Harrigan. The teen started his job when he was just a young boy, reading stories and doing chores which carried on for 5 years. He is paid in scratch cards which he never seems to win anything on.

On his first day of high school he finds out that in order to fit in, he's going to need a phone. He asks his dad for one who says no, but he ends up getting an iPhone for Xmas and his scratch card from Mr Harrigan wins him $3000. With his winnings he buys Mr Harrigan a phone, which at first is declined, but Craig soon wins him around I to accepting it, and shows him how to use it, and personalise it.

One day when Craig goes to visit Mr Harrigan, he finds he has sadly passed away still holding his phone. Craig takes his phone and puts it into Mr Harrigans pocket during his funeral. After the funeral Craig receives a letter stating that he had been left $800,000 in trust funds and that's when strange things start happening.

Craig receives a reply to a text he sent Mr Harrigan after he died, he hears Mr Harrigans phone ringing from his grave and a bully dies after beating Craig up one day. Craig has a feeling that Mr Harrigans ghost is responsible for all these things and sets about trying to prove it.

Problem is, all this took an hour and 10 minutes to get to, and considering its only an hour and 40 minute film that didn't leave much of a movie left to explore.. 20 minutes before the end it started getting interesting but then it finished suddenly, leaving me bitterly disappointed. They could have done so much with the movie, but sadly didn't.
  
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)
2020 | Comedy, Music, Romance
Rachel McAdams and Dan Stevens steal most of the scenes (1 more)
A real feelgood movie that spoofs the unspoofable pretty well
My lovely farce
Will Ferrell's output over the last few years has been decidedly patchy. I have to go back to "Get Hard" to find one of his movies that really got to my funny bone. But this latest Netflix offering hits the spot for me.

We start with the song recently voted the number one Eurovision song of all time by UK viewers: "Waterloo" by Abba. Young Lars Erickssong (LOL) (Alfie Melia) is transfixed watching the 1974 Eurovision winner with his recently bereaved father and local Lothario Erick (Pierce Brosnan). (Mental note to women: never marry Brosnan on screen... he gets through wives faster than you can murder "S.O.S."). Also present are his friends and young Sigrit ("probably not by sister") Ericksdottir (Sophia-Grace Donnelly). Lars vows to one day stand on that stage and make his father and his remote Icelandic fishing village proud.

Now all grown up, Lars (now Will Ferrell) and Sigrit (now Rachel McAdams) are still pursuing their dream of representing Iceland in the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest. They are, of course, dreadful - - so they should fit right in! But their way is blocked by the immensely talented Katiana (Demi Lovato) and all seems hopeless. Will Sigrit's faith in the power of the Elves see them through?

There's an obvious problem here. The Eurovision Song Contest is in itself so bat-s**t bonkers that it is almost impossible to spoof. (If anyone is not on this wavelength, checkout the genuine Russian entry in this year's (cancelled) contest on Youtube). But the team here (writers Will Ferrell and Andrew Steele and director David "The Judge" Dobkin) do a really great job. I'd love to know what a US audience - who I guess will mostly be unfamiliar with Eurovision - make of this. Since Australia are now honorary Europeans in the contest.... wouldn't it be great if there was a Mexican mariachi band attending and a country and western act from the States? (Brits would love the US to be involved.... as spoofed in the film, there's only one country European's hate more than the UK.... be nice to have someone else to join us in the "nul points" club!)

Wherever you may be on the "Ferrell-funny-or-not-ometer", there's one thing I hope we can all agree on here, and that is that Rachel McAdams continues to shine as a comic lead. She was fantastic in "Game Night" - one of my favourite comedies of recent years - and here she is both gorgeous and hilarious. She knocks it out of the park playing the elf-loving Icelandic pixie with the golden voice. (McAdams "sings" but is significantly "helped" in the mix by Swedish pop star Molly Sandén (aka My Marianne)).

Here she even gets to almost reprise her wonderful "YEESSSSS! Oh no, he died!" line from "Game Night".

Almost matching her in the scene-stealing stakes though is Downton's Dan Stevens as Lemtov: a Russian 'Tom Jones'-like contestant singing "Lion of Love" ("Let's get together; I'm a lion lover; And I hunt for love!"). He's DEFINITELY not gay ("There are no gays in Russia") but are his multi-millions enough to turn Sigrit's head?

For those who love their annual Eurovision parties, there are also an impressive array of nice cameos that will delight.

But where the film-makers really score (no pun intended) is making the music so fitting. Some of the tracks make you think "Yeah, if this was the real content, this might have got my vote". Director Dobkin is quoted as saying "It's okay if it's funny, but it has to be really good music. It has to still be great and just kitschy enough to be Eurovision, because that's part of what's fun about Eurovision" (Source: Vulture). Very true. This success is down to the involvement of pop writer/producer Savan Kotecha on the project: the man behind hits by Katy Petty, Ariana Grande and Ellie Goulding.

A comedy needs to make me laugh, and this one really did - numerous times. It's not just the dialogue. Some of the cut-away scenes are priceless and perfectly executed: jumping whales; a collapsing glacier; a small slamming door!

Sure, it borrows from a number of other sources in its plot: most notably THAT episode of "Father Ted" and the rap-battle scenes from "Pitch Perfect". And sure, some of the outRAGEOUS Icelandic accents sometimes swerve into an alarming mix of Indian, Welsh and Caribbean dialects! But above all, this is movie with real heart. The plot is pretty well signposted, but the finale still packs a (surprisingly) hefty emotional punch, and it leaves you with a really nice afterglow.

As we struggle out of Covid lockdown, it may not be a vaccine, but it is a pretty good medicine for the side-effects. Did I love this? Jaja Ding Dong!

(For the full graphical review, please check out One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/06/27/one-manns-movies-film-review-eurovision-song-contest-the-story-of-fire-saga-2020/ ).
  
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Charlie Cobra Reviews (1840 KP) rated Resident Alien in TV

Apr 14, 2021 (Updated Apr 14, 2021)  
Resident Alien
Resident Alien
2021 | Comedy, Drama, Sci-Fi
Laugh out loud funny (3 more)
Excellent mix of comedy, drama, and sci-fi
Full of unique and different characters
Decent special effects and CGI
Not for everyone kind of show (2 more)
Sometimes the CGI and effects can be lacking
Some characters can be a little annoying at times
A Comedy That's Out Of This World Funny
https://youtu.be/v9iwDu2OP3E
This show is just great and a real treat. I have to admit that I had no idea what I was in store for watching this show and I think that was half the fun of watching it. This show is part mystery and part CSI but also equal parts comedy and drama. It's full of scenes that are laugh out loud funny and some that are quite drama filled and serious in-tone at times. I really like the way it balances them and how each episode gets us a little bit further into the mystery of who killed the town doctor and if anyone is close to finding out the alien's secret identity or his secret mission. The character of the alien; who takes on the name Harry, after the doctor whose identity he steals, Dr. Harry Vanderspiegle, is a pretty funny character. It really shows in how he is trying his best to navigate through everyday situations with no prior knowledge of how or what it is to be human and really understand the subtle nuances of human nature and interaction while having a superiority complex and believing all humans are barely smarter than lizards in his opinion. He is totally oblivious to many things that are second nature to people like sarcasm and sense of humor. There are actually quite a few likeable characters on the show like Asta Twelvetrees played by Sara Tomko who is arguably the heart of the show, a central and integral character and super relatable. She is an important character to "Harry" learning to be more human. Also there's Sheriff Mike who is played by Corey Reynolds and is full of catch-phrases and just ridiculous things he says that are funny as hell. His completely blunt personality and no non-sense approach to crime leaves him to rub people the wrong way but he never apologies for himself or tries to tip-toe around people either. Then there's D'arcy who's played by Alice Wetterlund who is the town's bar owner and ex-Olympic athlete. She's a pretty cool character and quite different from the others and really kind of compliments the other characters by rounding them out. The whole mix of characters in the show are pretty diverse personality wise and how the show revolves around them and it's just a really funny show that's also full of alien sci-fi things going on at the same time but manages to ring through on an emotional level as "Harry" the alien begins to understand more and more about humans. I'll go over more in the spoiler section but I give this show a 8/10 and you should definitely check it out, especially if you are into sci-fi and looking for something that'll make you laugh at the same time too.
-------------------------------------------------------
Spoiler Section Review:

This show is just one of those shows that you don't expect for it to be as good as it is. I was really surprised when I saw the first episode and decided that I had to show my brother the first episode too and we actually got our dad into it too. I really like Alan Tudyk and how he not only plays the alien "Harry" but also the actual Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle in the flashbacks that happen as well. He's pretty talented and extremely funny in playing the alien, especially the parts where he's learning how to walk and talk and watching "Law & Order". So the whole thing with the show is that "Harry" is an alien that has crash-landed on Earth before he could finish his mission and is looking for his ship or parts of it that he needs to recover so he can finish his mission. He wakes up and searches the mountainside where he believes it is and pretty much avoids all human contact. That's when things change and the local authorities seek him out because the person whose identity he has taken is a known doctor and they need him to investigate the death of the town doctor. He now has to not only go into town where there are humans everywhere but also interact with them and hope that no one can tell that he's really an alien in disguise. The storytelling, plot and character development in the show are done in such a great way in how it progresses forward but also shows things that occurred earlier in flashbacks and you get to know or see things that make the characters more 3-dimensional and feel more realistic. Harry is very smart for an alien but has no clue when it comes to a lot of the things we take for granted when it comes to being human, things like sarcasm, humor, and more. So his behavior is off-putting but tolerated and accepted for the most part. He reluctantly takes on the job of the town doctor when asked because he doesn't want for anyone to suspect anything which makes it harder for him especially when he learns the Mayor's son Max can see his true identity, something like only one in a million humans might be able to do. The head nurse Asta Twelvetrees make his job easier by assisting him and they bond rather quickly when he takes her up on the offer to go for a drink after work to the local bar. That's where they meet D'arcy the bartender and owner of the bar who is also Asta's best friend and they have fun drinking and dancing and "Harry" drinks heavily to fit in. There's some pretty funny scenes of the alien dancing too. The next day Asta asks "Harry" to help her get somethings from her abusive ex-boyfriend Jimmy's house and "Harry" saves her from him when begins attacking her. He helps her to leave and she confides in him, that she had a child with Jimmy when she was really young but gave it up for adoption as they were too young to take care of it. Like I said in the non-spoiler section this show has a good mix of mystery, comedy and drama and does it in a really good way. Just as it pulls you in one direction like the drama part about Asta's child then it steers you in a completely different direction like comedy again when you find out at the end of the first episode that "Harry's" first patient is Max, the Mayor's son who can see that he's really an alien. I really enjoyed this show and I'm so glad that they decided to renew it for another season and there will be a season 2 coming soon. I liked it so much that I'm actually thinking about checking out the comic books by Dark Horse comics to see how good they are too. Anyways I give this show a 8/10 and can't wait for it to return.