Search

Search only in certain items:

It: Chapter Two (2019)
It: Chapter Two (2019)
2019 | Horror, Thriller
Part of this post is sponsored by 4DX Cinemas. With poignancy and heart on its side, 2017’s IT managed to avoid its occasional flaws to become an unnerving addition to the horror genre. While the film could never be classed as outright terrifying, the character of Pennywise, portrayed exceptionally by Bill Skarsgard, is an unsettling antagonist and one of the best in film.

Two years later, the town of Derry is back on the big screen in Andy Muschietti’s epic conclusion. But at nearly 3 hours long, is IT: Chapter Two just a bloated mess, or does it float to new heights?

Defeated by members of the Losers’ Club, the evil clown Pennywise returns 27 years later to terrorise the town of Derry, Maine, once again. Now adults, the childhood friends have long since gone their separate ways. But when people start disappearing, Mike Hanlon (Isaiah Mustafa) calls the others home for one final stand. Damaged by scars from the past, the united Losers must conquer their deepest fears to destroy the shape-shifting Pennywise – who is now more powerful than ever.

The film follows many of the same tropes as its predecessor, with beautiful cinematography and excellent performances masking some shoddy CGI and an over-reliance on jump scares, and while it does lack the simplicity and tightly-wound script of its predecessor, IT: Chapter Two is even more unsettling.

For director Andy Muschietti, it’s clear that the training wheels are off. After being guided through the process by Warner Bros. first time around, the success of IT (it grossed over $700million worldwide) now means he’s been free to splash his creative vision all over the screen – and it shows. A deeply disconcerting opening involving two of Derry’s LGBT community and some town bigots lets the audience know early on that this is going to be even darker and much more graphic than its predecessor.

From a casting point of view, they couldn’t have done better. Each adult version of the Loser’s Club nicely embodies their child counterpart, even if we spend more time with some than others. James McAvoy is as reliable as ever and Jessica Chastain plays Beverly nicely but it’s in Bill Hader and James Ransome that we find the perfect embodiments of their juvenile characters.

Hader and Ransome share the same chemistry that made Eddie and Richie so watchable in the first instalment and there is even some well-judged poignancy to go with their playful teasing. The Chinese restaurant scene, a fan favourite from the book and the TV mini-series, is present and correct and remains a highlight over the course of the running time.

IT: Chapter Two is a confident finale to one of 2017’s best films; filled with exceptional performances

Praise must be given to the scriptwriters here as ensembles of this size can all too often get lost with little character development. Thankfully, each cast member feels fully fleshed out, meaning we care for them a lot more than your typical horror-movie character.

However, this is Bill Skarsgard’s film and Pennywise is as menacing as ever. Skarsgard turns up the ante here with his physical performance being absolutely incredible. This portrayal is Heath Ledger Joker levels of good. It would be a shame if he wasn’t recognised officially for the exceptional work he has done to bring this wretched character to life.

While much of the film sees the Loser’s Club separate from each other as they try to locate tokens from their pasts, this allows the production team to create some truly staggering set pieces – although it’s unfortunate that many of them have been spoilt in the trailers. The much-marketed house of mirrors scene is brief but leaves a lasting impression and there’s a sequence early on involving a small girl that was really troubling.

Unfortunately, it’s not all good news. While the pacing for such a long film is spot on, the appearances of our titular character are not. Despite being billed as appearing more often, the movie’s gargantuan length means that Pennywise doesn’t feel like he’s on screen for any longer than in the first instalment. With such a great character and performance, it would have been nice to see him a little more.

And while you’ll have noticed me using adjectives like ‘unsettling’ and ‘unnerving’, the film isn’t truly scary unless Pennywise in clown form is on the screen. That’s mainly down to some of the CGI used to create the monsters. As in its predecessor, IT: Chapter Two’s monsters feel too glossy, lacking in any true sense of realism.

Nevertheless, IT: Chapter Two is a confident finale to one of 2017’s best films; filled with exceptional performances and the wit and humour that made its predecessor such a hit. While not reaching quite the same dizzy heights as that film and relying even more on jump scares, as a pair, it’s hard to think of a horror series that has made its mark in the last decade quite as much as IT.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ IT: Chapter Two in 4DX
I was unsure how a horror film would translate to 4DX but the good news is that the experience became even more immersive, with sight, smell and feel all being utilised to great effect.

Soaring over Derry, the advanced seating that 4DX provides means that you feel like you’re flying over the town too. Of course, while this is a pleasant experience when the film is playing nicely, as soon as the horror hits, 4DX jolts you back to reality with some well-timed movement, strobe lighting and weather effects.

A nice touch in this film was the use of smell, something not utilised in Hobbs & Shaw. Every time Pennywise was about to appear on screen, a sweet aroma would fill the cinema, lulling you into a false sense of security. It was a nice effect that added to the drama of the film beautifully.

Naturally, being a horror film, rain was utilised a lot and having the spray nozzle behind your seat was great. Although you are able to turn it off if you so wish, having the weather effects left on meant that you became immersed in what was happening on screen.

This was my first experience of 4D cinema utilised in a horror film and the overall impact was one that added to the terror rather than detracted from it. I would highly recommend viewing IT: Chapter Two in 4DX, and you can book tickets at 19 Cineworld locations across the UK.
  
DiTiC
DiTiC
2019 | Abstract Strategy
Purple Phoenix Games Preview
Abstract strategy games hold a special place in my heart. I’m not really a fan of Chess, but I am a fan of games that are light on rules and components but heavier in strategy needed to best your opponents. Yes, I like games that have zombies and gore or adventure and treasures as well, but abstracts are a great escape from those Ameritrashy games we all love.

So my original thought was to try to open this preview with a dastardly abstract statement to truly emphasize how theming is irrelevant with some activities. Not quite having done that, DiTiC is an abstract strategy game of “tile placement and dice-pawn” movement. How does it play? Read on.

In DiTiC the winner is the first player to upgrade one of their dice from a smaller-valued die into a value of six. Bring out smaller value dice and move them around the “board” to combine with other dice and win the game!

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a review copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know if the final components will be similar or different, or if the Kickstarter campaign will alter or add anything through stretch goals. -T

To setup a game of DiTiC, each player chooses a color of dice and takes all dice into their hand. The tile with “DiTiC START” on it is the, well, starting tile and is placed in the middle of the table. Roll off to see who goes first and you are ready to play!

On a turn a player may draw and place a tile or move one of their dice. Players start with zero dice on the board, so the first few turns will be drawing a tile from the bag and placing it on the board either side face-up. As you can see from the photos the tiles will have different colored (and shaped) corners. It’s when these corners complete an intersection of four tile corners that dice may enter the board. Depending on the color of the intersection’s majority control a die of said majority color comes into play on the value of the number of icons present. That’s a mouthful. So there are four corners to the intersection. If said intersection contains two red, a blue, and a black icon then red will place a die with value of two pips showing on that intersection. These dice may now be moved and combined with like-valued dice (with an exception). If a player has at least one die on the board when initiating this action, they may roll the action die after placement and complete any other actions the die result allows.

When a player decides instead to move, combine, or overtake a die, they simply move the die along the edge of a tile to the next closest intersection. Exception to movement: players can move all dice with a value of one BEFORE any other dice movement, and dice with value of one or two may move in any direction – even diagonally.

To combine/upgrade dice players will need to move one die into the same intersection as an equal-valued die in order to combine into a die of value +1. Example: a four die and a four die combine to make a five die. Exception to combinations: a value one die may combine with a value three die (remember the exception from the previous paragraph?) to create a value four die.

To overtake an opponent’s die, a player simply moves a superior die onto an occupied intersection. Typically, a die of larger value can overtake any die of smaller value. Exceptions: nothing may overtake a four or five, and only a five can overtake a three. Three-value dice seem to be the superheros of DiTiC.

So after many back-and-forth turns of placing tiles and rolling dice or moving/combining/overtaking dice the winner is crowned once they have upgraded any die into a value six die.

Components. Again, this is a prototype version of the game, so I will comment on what I can. I think the game looks very nice, even in this stage of production. The icons on the tiles are clear – and THANK YOU for considering the colorblind gamer community by making each icon different by both color and art style. The dice are your typical d6 (and I do not know if there will be any changes made to these as a result of a successful campaign). The icons on the action die make sense and I really dig the laser-etched wooden design, and I kinda hope that detail makes it into the final product. But I prefer wooden dice to plastic every time. The game also came with a burlap bag to house and conceal the tiles, and coupled with the wooden dice makes a nice little natural organic combo. My only request for the final version of the game? Go crazy with the color scheme. Black, red, white, and blue are great colors, but fling out the purple and the gold and the orange and the aqua. But I’m no designer. It looks great as it is.

So like I said up top, I love abstracts. Surprisingly so. The more I play them the more I love them. And this game definitely adds to my love of the genre. The rules are kinda wacky, and the dice of different values each can do their own thing, and I think that’s really interesting. It’s not simply a game of moving big dice around eating all the little dice. I mean, you CAN do that, but you will not advance your own strategies. But there is an amount of take that in this game, from the action dice to the tile placement to the overtaking of dice, that will really appeal to lots of people. It’s not a big game, but it looks great on the table, and plays really well once you have immersed yourself in the rules. I really believe that the more I play it the more I will fall in love with it. In fact, as I type this I want to go home and play it right now. And that’s a mark of a good, if not great, game, isn’t it?

If you like abstract strategy games and have a little room for this small game in your collection (or better, MAKE some room for it) then you should definitely consider backing it on Kickstarter, or (depending on when you read this) picking it up at your FLGS.
  
Proving Grounds
Proving Grounds
2019 | Dice Game, Fantasy, Fighting, Real-time
Maia Strongheart sees the eight opponents surrounding her and knows exactly how to handle each one. She makes a dash for #4, a simpleton Warrior in Training, and whoosh – misses. “Huh, that’s never happened to me before,” she thinks. Performing a daring backflip whilst targeting the Clan Elder in the #6 position with a well-placed finishing blow and whoosh – her armor seems to part like the Red Sea as the Clan Elder finds its weakness and delivers a wound to our heroine. “WHO IS PLAYING ME?” Maia wonders. It’s me. Travis. The worst player of Proving Grounds. Poor Maia.


Proving Grounds is a solo fighting dice game with real-time phases. Players will win by defeating eight opponents in battle and will lose (often, in my case) if the heroine suffers too many wounds. The game is played over several rounds, and Renegade has provided an app to act as a timer during the rolling dice phase. Obviously I am terrible at the game, but how does it play and do I feel like continuing to suffer subsequent losses?
To setup a basic game, place the Encounter Board in the middle of the table. Shuffle the enemy cards (with swords & board backs) and deal one per slot around the Encounter Board. These are the first set of enemies Maia will be fighting. Place Battle Markers (silver ninja stars that track wounds inflicted to enemies) in the outlined spaces of the enemy cards. Place Maia’s health token (a heart) on the tracker and one each of the green, yellow, and blue dice on the health area in the space with a rainbow surround. Fill the exhaustion track with one white die per space (on the right side of the Encounter Board), and take the rest of the dice into hand to use as the dice pool. For this review I also used the Dragonling Die module.

As mentioned, Proving Grounds is played solo over a series of rounds. Each round consists of three phases: Roll Dice, Resolve Attacks, and Recover. The first phase of the game, Roll Dice, is also the most chaotic. During this phase the app timer (or your phone or sand timer or sun dial) will allow 60 seconds to roll the dice and arrive at a final result. The interesting aspect of this mechanic at play here is that only sets of dice may be rerolled, not singles. So players may only roll that set of four 3s and not the solitary 1 sitting there all alone. This causes some brain freeze because many games utilize this in reverse, where only singles may be rerolled. Factor that into a 60 second frenzy to get the greatest results and brains will smoke.

Once the timer is up or players are satisfied with the rolled results, they move to the next phase: Resolve Attacks. Each number rolled on the dice correspond to the enemy’s position around the Encounter Board. So that solitary 1 that was rolled earlier is assigned to the enemy in position #1. Here’s the kick in the rear though: any single dice assigned to an enemy will result in a wound dealt to Maia, and would require the player to sacrifice one of the dice to the exhaustion track! Should an enemy require three or more dice but only two are assigned, or if zero dice are assigned, nothing happens to Maia nor the enemy. But those dang single dice will come back to haunt the player. A lot, if they play like I do. Some enemies will require at least one of the dice to be the blue/green/yellow die in order to be successful while others are just straight number of dice. Calculating everything that is needed during the Roll Dice phase is something that I have yet to master.


After attacks are resolved, players enter the Recover phase. During this phase players will gather all assigned dice from the round as well as any dice on the lowest spot of the exhaustion track to be used for the next round. Any enemies that were defeated have left an empty slot on the Encounter Board, so a new enemy will now fill that void. Play continues in this fashion of three phases per round until either eight enemies have been defeated or Maia suffers too many wounds to continue.
Components. I am fascinated by how few components are needed to put a game like this together. Yes, the Encounter Board is mostly unnecessary, but a great way to organize the game and keep everything spacially relevant for those of us that need that. The cards are fine quality and the game has great art. The dice are very cool, but I am unsure how the colors pop for our colorblind gamer friends. While the game doesn’t necessarily refer to the damage markers as “ninja stars” I cannot get over the fact that they are ninja stars. They are certainly out of place in a game like this where I encountered zero ninjas in my plays. Everything else, though, is great and it comes in a nice-sized box: a little smaller than my Century: Golem Edition box.

It was Kane Klenko’s birthday recently, so I wished him a happy birthday on social media and informed him that I was celebrating by playing Proving Grounds. His response was absolutely perfect: “Good luck!” Well, Kane, I never have good luck with this one! It is certainly a combination of poor dice rolling, poor decision making whilst rolling dice, and just dumb luck (emphasis on dumb). I love playing this game but it is infuriating that I have yet to beat it! Even with just the first Dragonling Die module! Gahhhhhh!!!

However, Proving Grounds is an excellent dice game that breaks out of the Yahtzee clone mold and into something fresh and exciting. The twist of only being able to reroll sets instead of singles makes for interesting decisions when you really need to defeat enemy #5 but just cannot roll ANY 5s to save your life (in the game). I just want to beat it once with the Dragonling Die so I can start adding in other modules (oh yes, there are several other modules to add). When games force me to WANT to play them more and more, even for the sheer hope of victory, I consider that a mark of distinction and a sign of a great game.

So if you are like me and enjoy the pain of defeat over and over again then I invite you to try Proving Grounds. It will not be easy. But if you happen to beat it, especially on your first try, please let me know. I need all the cheat codes I can get here. It will stay in my collection probably forever because I just need to overcome it, and then once I figure it out completely, I will just need to wallop it over and over to teach it a lesson. Enjoy Proving Grounds everyone!
  
Doctor Who: Time of the Daleks
Doctor Who: Time of the Daleks
2017 | Entertainment, Science Fiction
I cannot tell you what a big fan of Doctor Who I am. I have one sticker on my car, and it’s a DW TARDIS right there in the upper left. They say you’ll never forget your first Doctor, and I only started watching several years into the reboot, but started with 9. And then 10 stole my heart. 11 was also quite amazing and I always reference people who have never seen the show to please please please watch, “Vincent and the Doctor.” If you watch that episode and are not moved to tears by the sheer beauty of the story being told, you absolutely have no soul. And if after watching that episode you are not an immediately-converted Whovian, then it was never meant to be. So why then is my rating on this game so lackluster if I love the IP so?


Doctor Who: Time of the Daleks (which I will carefully refer to as DW from here on out though I would never abbreviate to Dr.) is an adventure dice racing game, even though the only official tag is dice. In it, players take on the roles of different Doctor regenerations and will travel through time and space collecting companions, Timey-Wimey cards, and Sonic Charges in order to manipulate dice rolls to defeat Dilemmas and Time Anomalies that pop up at the absolute worst times.
To setup, follow the rulebook instructions – there are just too many components to detail here. The game takes up quite a bit of table space, so do make sure to use your largest table.

On a player’s turn they will be adding Sonic Charges, shuffling up companions, and rolling the TARDIS die to determine travel. Once at a location, the Doctor (and subsequent harem) can Adventure by assessing the challenge of dice results printed on the Location board plus the Dilemma disc combined. It is these icons that must be rolled (and possibly manipulated) in order to have a successful adventure. If successful, typically this involves a reward of moving the TARDIS pawn on the main Web of Time board closer to Gallifrey, in addition to other rewards. Failure on an adventure will typically result in the Dalek ship being moved further from Skaro and closer to Gallifrey.

Once the Doctors have had their turn, the Daleks will take a turn. Immediately move the Dalek ship one space on the Web of Time track towards Gallifrey, and if they have reached Gallifrey before any Doctor, or on the same turn as a Doctor, the Daleks win and the Doctors all lose. If not, play continues in this fashion until one of those win conditions are met, along with a couple more loss conditions I will leave you to discover.


This is a very pared-down synopsis of the rules, and I have intentionally left out several rules so as not to bog down my paraphrasing with minutia. Take this into consideration when determining if this is the game for you.
Components. All in all the components in DW are absolutely stellar! All the cardboard is thick and features great art and screencaps (which is a polarizing subject that I simply don’t mind). The dice are great quality, though I wish they had chosen a different color for the blue dice so that the TARDIS die would be the only blue in the box. The minis are great, and have interchangeable bases because throughout the game the Doctors may have to regenerate, thus switching to a different Doctor mid-game (awesome mechanic for this IP by the way).

Let me tell you why I like this DW game and why I do not. Firstly, the game is just too hard for me. Maybe it’s how I roll the dice, but I feel I am almost never in possession of enough resources to be able to reroll or manually manipulate my dice results enough to have the requisite amount of successful adventures. Some challenges require the Doctor to roll six dice, but then there are restrictions in play that drop a Doctor’s dice pool down to six, thus creating a you-must-roll-EXACTLY-what-you-need-to-win scenario that is tough to swallow for a dice game. Also, this next part is completely personal opinion, I wish that 10 was included in the starter box. I got my 11, and I appreciate that, but I feel like 10 is the most widely-popular Doctor in the franchise, or at least in New Who, so the ball was dropped here. I know I can purchase 10 in an expansion pack with 5 (and kudos to whomever made THAT combination), but I want him NOW.

Time travel games are so difficult to pull off, and with Doctor Who you HAVE to consider that time travel will play a very important part in gameplay. I believe this title handles it well, and even allows for multiple Doctors to work together (let’s not talk about time paradoxes for now). That is great and allows for excellent cooperative play, so I applaud the designer for that. I also enjoy the different abilities given by each different regeneration as well as what the companions each bring to the table. Perhaps a companion will add certain colors of dice to the Dice Pool, or allow the Doctor to switch out some of his generic dice for stronger and more specific dice, or simply allow rerolls of certain colors of dice. I dig that a lot. And seeing my precious companions in the game matched up to their Doctors fills me with a sense of nostalgia that I just do not feel in other games.

While this has been the subject of much deliberation on my part, I will be keeping my copy of the game, and will most definitely be adding 5 and 10 to the mix. I really want to like this game more than I do, and maybe having 10 in my arsenal is enough to do it, though I have my doubts. I love the Doctor Who IP and love dice games. I think this is a good game overall, and will continue to explore it with other gamers. Something will click, I’m sure of it. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one wibbly-wobbly 8 / 12. If you need a difficult dice game in your collection and also love the Doctors, pick up a copy. But also do yourself a favor and grab a copy of any expansion that includes your favorite Doctor – you will thank me later. Spoilers, sweetie, that’s coming in tomorrow’s post.
  
A Court of Mist and Fury
A Court of Mist and Fury
Sarah J. Maas | 2016 | Young Adult (YA)
10
9.3 (53 Ratings)
Book Rating
Wow. Just wow. There are going to be spoilers in this review, so read at your own peril.

I have actually read this book three times cover to cover since I got it. You could say that I love it, just a bit.

I absolutely adored the character developments. Yes, they were heartbreaking at times (I'm looking at you Feyre), but they were so necessary to be able to move the story along. At first, I was kind of upset that we didn't get all of the mushy romance between Tamlin and Feyre, especially not seeing their engagement, but it all turned around from there. I loved being able to see Feyre struggling with her new body as well as her new mental state. I appreciate Sarah J Maas because she isn't sugar coating the trauma these characters went through. We are living in their heads, so we should expect to see the consequences of what happened Under the Mountain.

That being said, my initial ship of Tamlin and Feyre completely sunk at page 120. I was starting to dislike Tamlin since the beginning of the book since he was so overprotective and he was basically smothering Feyre, but I didn't start to hate him until he locked her up. The literal hate fire that was ebbing off of me while I was reading that was just too much. He disregarded her as being a person who had hopes and dreams and flaws just to make himself feel better about himself.

But now, I am totally team Rhysand!!!! Oh my god, actual knight in shining armor right here. I think he has gone through an amazing character arc as well. In the first book, he was more the arrogant, cocky asshole who seemed to only do things for himself, but in this book, he has become a real person. I loved being able to see his soft side whenever he is around his Inner Circle. His happiness around them is almost infectious! And then him around Feyre is just the cutest thing in the world. I just can't with him. He loves her to a point where he would be willing to make himself suffer to see her happy, which is something Tamlin I don't think would ever do. And then the tension between him and Feyre, holy cow. I loved those scenes. (Especially the more blush worthy scenes, those make me really happy [The Court of Nightmares, the Inn, the Cabin, Starfall, etc.]). It was amazing to see how they complimented each other and actually worked together to make things better. His power is phenomenal and I would not want that going against me, ever.

I really enjoyed how both Rhysand and Feyre have moments where they have to use each other to get out of their nightmares. That is the kind of relationship she needs, someone who helps her deal with her issues while also needing the same help for himself. Being able to see the parallels between the two moments was really cool.

Ugh, and Feyre not being able to paint for the majority of the book was heartbreaking. I loved how it was Rhys who was the one to get her to paint again.

The Inner Circle makes me laugh whenever they are in a scene.

Cassian is adorable. I think he would be like a Labrador puppy just following them around, but being able to get very protective when he needs to be. When he trains Feyre and she breaks down, that broke my heart. Here was a guy who didn't really know her very well, but was willing to stand up for her in ways that Tamlin and Lucien would do. Plus, him and Nesta are going to be a thing, I just know it.

Amren is not someone I would want to get on my bad side. She is intense in all of her feelings, loyalty included. She would kill for any of her friends and would never feel bad about it. I loved how much she stood up for Feyre, even when Feyre didn't really notice her being that kind. I want to know how much power this girl holds, though.

Mor is my spirit animal. She keeps getting up whenever she is kicked down. She stands tall against her family and I appreciate that. And on top of it all, she is still able to smile and be an overall amazing person. Yes, she has made mistakes in the past, but she is living with them and dealing. I want her and Azriel to just be together all ready!! Her moments with Feyre are really sweet because she is constantly reaffirming the feelings without making Feyre feel bad about any of it.

Azriel is intimidating as hell. He honestly terrifies me, but he is still so sweet. Sarah, why do you keep making such amazing characters?!?!?

I love Velaris. I want to live there forever. It was described so beautifully that it was easy to see exactly what they were seeing.

The story line move along very well. I loved how the plot developed. I honestly have no complaints about this book at all.

Like I said, I thought it was necessary for the story to start where it did, especially with the bad relations between her and Tamlin. The wedding was important too because it showed how much she had changed, how much she didn't want to be in that relationship any longer. When Rhys showed up, he was her savior, but she didn't know it at the time. She didn't know that they had more of a connection than she thought. I don't like what Tamlin and Lucien forced her to do. They didn't think about any of her issues with anything they may have done--especially forcing her to spy for them on Rhys, the only person besides Alys who cares about her well being.

Her learning how to read was just like I thought it would be. Rhys' sentences he made her copy were adorably brilliant.

I honestly think my favorite part of this novel would have to be a tie between Starfall, the Court of Nightmares, and the cabin in the woods. Each of these scenes were, in their own right, moments where Feyre finally let herself be happy, let herself feel more than despair and hatred for what she had done. You can feel a shift in her in each of these moments as well.

I think the major plot movements went very well. Starting with Feyre having to prove to herself that she wasn't a porcelain doll to be able to use her powers to be able to go against the King of Hybern. All of it was connected and based on what she had previously gone through. Even the relationships had to be fleshed out enough in the beginning to get to the ending in a realistic and understandable way.

And OH MY GOD MATING BOND!!!!!!!!!! So freaking great. I loved being able to see it in action. ;D

If you liked A Court of Thorns and Roses, you are going to like this one even more. The story is much more fleshed out and the characters feel more realistic.

Overall, I think I am going to be reading this book over and over again for the foreseeable future!! (Also, can someone get me a Rhys? I need one. Now.)

I honestly cannot stop reading this book. As of 22 Mar 2018, I have read it about 10 times
  
A Conjuring of Light
A Conjuring of Light
V.E. Schwab | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry, Science Fiction/Fantasy
10
9.6 (12 Ratings)
Book Rating
I tried to take my time with this book. I only listened to it for short amounts of time because I knew it was the last one and I wanted to take my time with it. Well, that and I was busy with Christmas stuff, so I guess I had to spend time with family.

So, onto the review. By the way, this is not spoiler free for the series or this book, so read at your own peril.

This book absolutely wrecked me. So we started off not knowing the status of Kell and therefore Rhys because they are freaking bound together via magical tattoos, so yeah, stressful. Then we have to know what is going on with Lila because how is she going to react to the information that Kell is possibly dying? I wasn't so sure. But damn am I glad she wanted to act. Then we have the knowledge that Holland is being taken over by Oseran because why not? Let's just have this piece of sentient magic take over an Antari's body to be able to take over worlds. Yes, plural. How could I not be okay with that? And that is all just from where we left off at the end of the last book, okay? I was a wreck when I started the book.

Alright, so onto Kell. He is so self sacrificing it kills me. Well, it nearly kills him and Rhys too, but that's beside the point. He, first, finds himself without magic, needing Delilah to come and save him. Then he is ostracized again from the court because obviously this is all his fault, right? Wrong. After that, he has to go on a mission with two people he hates as well as the woman he loves and a few strangers to boot. Not too bad so far. In order to save the woman he loves and (hopefully) protect her from harm, he is willing to do whatever, that means dying, to keep her alive and with magic. But he claims it's because he is able to control it better. Yeah, Kell. That's the reason. I can smell bullshit all the way over here, buddy. But really, even though he has a hard time staying alive and keeping out of trouble, I love Kell. He knows what is best for those he loves and will not hesitate to do it. He wants to travel the world, to get to see more than just London on any of the plains. And he gets to in the end. Plus, who doesn't want a person like Kell in their lives?

Now onto my girl Delilah. Hey there Delilah what's it like in Red London, are you trying to get yourself killed just to prove a point to Kell and Rhys? I would like to know why. (Sing that in the tune of the Plain White Tee's song, and you'll be golden.) But really. This girl has almost as much of a death wish as Kell does, swinging head first into danger without a plan most of the time. She is impulsive, rash, and strong as hell. And I wouldn't have her any other way. She hasn't known these people for very long, but she cares for them so deeply. She is also willing to give up everything to go up against Oseran, becasue why not? She thinks her unfiltered and untrained power can do a lot of damage. Which, yes it can, but not necessarily to your opponent, dear. I am proud of this scrappy little nobody. She became the badass pirate queen she has always needed to be. Plus, I like that she used her cunning and her knowledge as a thief to get the item they needed from the floating black market. So cool. Oh! And when she was battling Oseran and she freaking moved the river. Yeah girl! Prove Allucard wrong! Use that freaking ANTARI magic that you have. Get that black glass eye and become your true self!

Rhys is amazing. I honestly thought his father was going to do a spell to give Rhys his power when the King went out to fave Oseran in his palace, but I am glad he didn't. We need to see that even people without powers are powerful in their own right. He is a king, a commander, a force to be reckoned with, not in spite of his lack of magic, but because of it. He was able to train himself in the ways of people. He doesn't need magic to control, he's got words for that. What happened to his family, and almost happened to him, was heart breaking. I hate that he didn't really have time to mourn. I hate that he had to see his mother die in front of him. I hate that he didn't get to get revenge personally. But I know it would have hurt him as a character too much to have to kill those who betrayed the crown.

Allucard is still a hero in my eyes. He put up with so much shit from his family, and then Kell. I mean, the man paid for a magical mirror to be able to show Rhys the truth about why he left. HE JUST DESERVES TO BE HAPPY OKAY!!! I am glad that he and Rhys get to be together forever because they are in love and I love that love. Also, we got to see him use his magic so much more in this book. I feel like he got to earn his title as the winner of the Essen Tash. (I think that's how you spell it, I can't remember, okay). So, yeah, Allucard for life.

I don't know how she did it, but Ms Victoria Schwab made me like Holland. I just invested my hatred for this guy for two freaking books. TWO BOOKS!! And now I like him? What is this madness. But really, I loved that he was able to redeem himself and his actions. He just wanted to save his world and give it magic again. I like that he was able to use the device and save the day, even though he had to lose his power because of it. He is just, if not more so, self sacrificing as Kell and Lila are put together. He tries to die for the cause at least twice in this book. Also, I love that he becomes the King that is promised in White London. He brings back magic by giving up his. Just so beautiful.

All of the side characters were really interesting as well. I would love to see more into them if Ms Schwab has any plans to do so. As you can tell, I don't want to talk too much about Oseran because I don't like him. I will say, though, that Ms Schwab did a fantastic job creating such a vile creature. He brought a lot to the story and, even though I didn't like the character, it was more on a personal level than the writing of the character. I just didn't like the villain. But I loved how she wrote him. (I hope at least some of that makes sense)

This series was phenomenal. Every page was an adventure and I was so happy to be dragged along. Thank you for writing this book. I can't wait to see what's next.
  
A Court of Mist and Fury
A Court of Mist and Fury
Sarah J. Maas | 2016 | Young Adult (YA)
10
9.3 (53 Ratings)
Book Rating
Wow. Just wow. There are going to be spoilers in this review, so read at your own peril.

I have actually read this book three times cover to cover since I got it. You could say that I love it, just a bit.

I absolutely adored the character developments. Yes, they were heartbreaking at times (I'm looking at you Feyre), but they were so necessary to be able to move the story along. At first, I was kind of upset that we didn't get all of the mushy romance between Tamlin and Feyre, especially not seeing their engagement, but it all turned around from there. I loved being able to see Feyre struggling with her new body as well as her new mental state. I appreciate Sarah J Maas because she isn't sugar coating the trauma these characters went through. We are living in their heads, so we should expect to see the consequences of what happened Under the Mountain.

That being said, my initial ship of Tamlin and Feyre completely sunk at page 120. I was starting to dislike Tamlin since the beginning of the book since he was so overprotective and he was basically smothering Feyre, but I didn't start to hate him until he locked her up. The literal hate fire that was ebbing off of me while I was reading that was just too much. He disregarded her as being a person who had hopes and dreams and flaws just to make himself feel better about himself.

But now, I am totally team Rhysand!!!! Oh my god, actual knight in shining armor right here. I think he has gone through an amazing character arc as well. In the first book, he was more the arrogant, cocky asshole who seemed to only do things for himself, but in this book, he has become a real person. I loved being able to see his soft side whenever he is around his Inner Circle. His happiness around them is almost infectious! And then him around Feyre is just the cutest thing in the world. I just can't with him. He loves her to a point where he would be willing to make himself suffer to see her happy, which is something Tamlin I don't think would ever do. And then the tension between him and Feyre, holy cow. I loved those scenes. (Especially the more blush worthy scenes, those make me really happy [The Court of Nightmares, the Inn, the Cabin, Starfall, etc.]). It was amazing to see how they complimented each other and actually worked together to make things better. His power is phenomenal and I would not want that going against me, ever.

I really enjoyed how both Rhysand and Feyre have moments where they have to use each other to get out of their nightmares. That is the kind of relationship she needs, someone who helps her deal with her issues while also needing the same help for himself. Being able to see the parallels between the two moments was really cool.

Ugh, and Feyre not being able to paint for the majority of the book was heartbreaking. I loved how it was Rhys who was the one to get her to paint again.

The Inner Circle makes me laugh whenever they are in a scene.

Cassian is adorable. I think he would be like a Labrador puppy just following them around, but being able to get very protective when he needs to be. When he trains Feyre and she breaks down, that broke my heart. Here was a guy who didn't really know her very well, but was willing to stand up for her in ways that Tamlin and Lucien would do. Plus, him and Nesta are going to be a thing, I just know it.

Amren is not someone I would want to get on my bad side. She is intense in all of her feelings, loyalty included. She would kill for any of her friends and would never feel bad about it. I loved how much she stood up for Feyre, even when Feyre didn't really notice her being that kind. I want to know how much power this girl holds, though.

Mor is my spirit animal. She keeps getting up whenever she is kicked down. She stands tall against her family and I appreciate that. And on top of it all, she is still able to smile and be an overall amazing person. Yes, she has made mistakes in the past, but she is living with them and dealing. I want her and Azriel to just be together all ready!! Her moments with Feyre are really sweet because she is constantly reaffirming the feelings without making Feyre feel bad about any of it.

Azriel is intimidating as hell. He honestly terrifies me, but he is still so sweet. Sarah, why do you keep making such amazing characters?!?!?

I love Velaris. I want to live there forever. It was described so beautifully that it was easy to see exactly what they were seeing.

The story line move along very well. I loved how the plot developed. I honestly have no complaints about this book at all.

Like I said, I thought it was necessary for the story to start where it did, especially with the bad relations between her and Tamlin. The wedding was important too because it showed how much she had changed, how much she didn't want to be in that relationship any longer. When Rhys showed up, he was her savior, but she didn't know it at the time. She didn't know that they had more of a connection than she thought. I don't like what Tamlin and Lucien forced her to do. They didn't think about any of her issues with anything they may have done--especially forcing her to spy for them on Rhys, the only person besides Alys who cares about her well being.

Her learning how to read was just like I thought it would be. Rhys' sentences he made her copy were adorably brilliant.

I honestly think my favorite part of this novel would have to be a tie between Starfall, the Court of Nightmares, and the cabin in the woods. Each of these scenes were, in their own right, moments where Feyre finally let herself be happy, let herself feel more than despair and hatred for what she had done. You can feel a shift in her in each of these moments as well.

I think the major plot movements went very well. Starting with Feyre having to prove to herself that she wasn't a porcelain doll to be able to use her powers to be able to go against the King of Hybern. All of it was connected and based on what she had previously gone through. Even the relationships had to be fleshed out enough in the beginning to get to the ending in a realistic and understandable way.

And OH MY GOD MATING BOND!!!!!!!!!! So freaking great. I loved being able to see it in action. ;D

If you liked A Court of Thorns and Roses, you are going to like this one even more. The story is much more fleshed out and the characters feel more realistic.

Overall, I think I am going to be reading this book over and over again for the foreseeable future!! (Also, can someone get me a Rhys? I need one. Now.)

I honestly cannot stop reading this book. As of 16 May 2016, I have read it 4 times.
  
Millennial Manatees
Millennial Manatees
2020 | Card Game
I am totes Gen X. Tail end, mind you, but still not a Millennial. That said, I can still appreciate things I have missed out on due to age gaps and generational differences. I want to make so many jokes right now but I genuinely do not want to offend anyone, let alone an entire generation of people. So I won’t. Enjoy the review.

Millennial Manatees is a worker-placement(ish) card(ish) game for one to four players. In it players are assuming roles of manatees tasked with paying off their identical student loan debt: 20 coins. The first player to make wise venture investments and create the best ROI will be crowned the winner! Please keep reading. This game is not at all a powerhouse economic simulation. It’s a fun game with manatees, avocado toast, and IT COMES IN A FANNY PACK.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box fanny pack. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online directly from the publisher (or Amazon if you wish) or from your FLGS. -T


To setup carefully empty the contents of the fanny pack game box(?) and unfold the game board. Upon it will be placed separated (but shuffled) face-up decks for Basic, Salty, and Big Mood venture cards. Next to these shuffle the Volunteer cards and place the deck face-down. Shuffle the remaining Manatee cards and place somewhere around the game board. Each player chooses a color of manatee and takes all the components matching its shirt color. Unlike the photo below place all “fanatee pack” tokens with the 7 coins side face-up and each player will start the game with three coins. The players will set their debt trackers at the starting position of the debt track, and the first player receives the avocado toast token. Yes, the big one you see below.
Each round begins with the avocado toast holder and continues around the table. The first player will place their manateeple (ooh I like that one) on any card or printed space on the game board. Options include: Basic, Salty, or Big Mood venture cards, Volunteer cards, Boomer Handout board space, Take the Toast board space, and Pay Back Student Debt board space. Once the current toast holder has placed their manateeple the next player may place on any other non-occupied space or card available. Note: the Pay Back Student Debt space is always available for any number of manateeples.

For the cost in coins printed on the cards, the Basic, Salty, and Big Mood venture cards can be purchased and placed in the player’s tableau of cards. This represents the player investing in certain business ventures in the hopes of earning more coins in the long run. Once a player has a venture card in front of them the card will specify how it will be activated and the benefit therein. Many cards allow the player to collect coins, but sometimes cards allow for stealing of other players’ coins or other nefarious doings.

The volunteer cards are drawn face-down and once read by the drawing player are kept face-down in their tableau until the proper game phase activates it or the player plays it to the discard pile.

Once a player decides they want to pay down their debt they will visit the Pay Back Student Debt space on the board. When they do this they will immediately use ALL coins they have earned and apply it directly to their debt by moving their tracker down the line by the amount paid.

By placing the manateeple on the Take the Toast space, that player simply takes the toast token and becomes the first player of the next round. By placing the manateeple on the Boomer Handout space the player will gain one coin during the Manatee phase.

The Manatee phase consists of the first player flipping the top card of the Manatee deck. Most of the cards in this deck are art depictions of manatees in different attire and hairstyles. When a Manatee card is flipped during this phase, all players reference any venture cards in their tableau to see if the manatee will trigger their card. For example, a manatee may be dressed in an orange shirt, wearing sunglasses, and holding a yoga mat. For those players whose venture cards are triggered by any of these items, their cards will bestow their benefits. There are two other types of cards in this deck as well, but I will let you experience these when you play.


Turns continue in this fashion of placing manateeples in unique spaces or cards, resolving any immediate effects, playing volunteer cards, flipping and resolving Manatee cards, and paying down student debt until one player has paid off the entire sum and wins the game! Then the hardest part of the game will commence: attempting to put all the components back in the fanny pack so that they are not damaged. Good luck.
Components. This game has some pretty spectacular components coupled with some really great art. Obviously, having a game packaged in a fanny pack is just delightful, even though I typically despise non-boxed games. Secondly, all the wooden manateeples and avocado toast tokens are just amazing to behold and handle. The cards are good quality and the game features incredible art throughout. I am a big fan of this art style – it is very cartoony and very cool. This theme is just perfection and the game that lies beneath the theme is very surprising.

I say the game beneath the great art and theme is surprising because I was completely not expecting to like this one as much as I do. At its heart it is a very light worker-placement game with hints of take that and based on using currency as victory points. I like all of those mechanics quite a bit, so combining these with aforementioned art and theme works for me on another level.

I feel this game is something I can bring out with almost any crowd of adults and have a smashing great time. There are so many little jokes packed into this little game that make me giggle every time I see them. And come on, a first player token that is avocado toast? It’s too good! I love all the colors assaulting my eyes, and I love all the hate-placement that happens, and I didn’t know that I love manatees as much as I now do.

Look, I am usually pretty positive about the games I play. But I also play a lot of stinkers. This one, thankfully, delivers a super fun game experience in an hour or less, even though the theme is absolutely ridiculous. But I also find that so charming. If you are looking for that special WOW game that is relatively light but incredibly satisfying to play, I strongly recommend checking out Millennial Manatees. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one 10 / 12 soy super americanos (is that a thing?). Display the pink fanny pack with pride next to all your super-serious games and watch as your visitors flock to it and ask what it is. Then play it with them and watch them fall in love as we did. I am very happy to now have this one in my collection.
  
40x40

Charlie Cobra Reviews (1840 KP) rated Resident Alien in TV

Apr 14, 2021 (Updated Apr 14, 2021)  
Resident Alien
Resident Alien
2021 | Comedy, Drama, Sci-Fi
Laugh out loud funny (3 more)
Excellent mix of comedy, drama, and sci-fi
Full of unique and different characters
Decent special effects and CGI
Not for everyone kind of show (2 more)
Sometimes the CGI and effects can be lacking
Some characters can be a little annoying at times
A Comedy That's Out Of This World Funny
https://youtu.be/v9iwDu2OP3E
This show is just great and a real treat. I have to admit that I had no idea what I was in store for watching this show and I think that was half the fun of watching it. This show is part mystery and part CSI but also equal parts comedy and drama. It's full of scenes that are laugh out loud funny and some that are quite drama filled and serious in-tone at times. I really like the way it balances them and how each episode gets us a little bit further into the mystery of who killed the town doctor and if anyone is close to finding out the alien's secret identity or his secret mission. The character of the alien; who takes on the name Harry, after the doctor whose identity he steals, Dr. Harry Vanderspiegle, is a pretty funny character. It really shows in how he is trying his best to navigate through everyday situations with no prior knowledge of how or what it is to be human and really understand the subtle nuances of human nature and interaction while having a superiority complex and believing all humans are barely smarter than lizards in his opinion. He is totally oblivious to many things that are second nature to people like sarcasm and sense of humor. There are actually quite a few likeable characters on the show like Asta Twelvetrees played by Sara Tomko who is arguably the heart of the show, a central and integral character and super relatable. She is an important character to "Harry" learning to be more human. Also there's Sheriff Mike who is played by Corey Reynolds and is full of catch-phrases and just ridiculous things he says that are funny as hell. His completely blunt personality and no non-sense approach to crime leaves him to rub people the wrong way but he never apologies for himself or tries to tip-toe around people either. Then there's D'arcy who's played by Alice Wetterlund who is the town's bar owner and ex-Olympic athlete. She's a pretty cool character and quite different from the others and really kind of compliments the other characters by rounding them out. The whole mix of characters in the show are pretty diverse personality wise and how the show revolves around them and it's just a really funny show that's also full of alien sci-fi things going on at the same time but manages to ring through on an emotional level as "Harry" the alien begins to understand more and more about humans. I'll go over more in the spoiler section but I give this show a 8/10 and you should definitely check it out, especially if you are into sci-fi and looking for something that'll make you laugh at the same time too.
-------------------------------------------------------
Spoiler Section Review:

This show is just one of those shows that you don't expect for it to be as good as it is. I was really surprised when I saw the first episode and decided that I had to show my brother the first episode too and we actually got our dad into it too. I really like Alan Tudyk and how he not only plays the alien "Harry" but also the actual Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle in the flashbacks that happen as well. He's pretty talented and extremely funny in playing the alien, especially the parts where he's learning how to walk and talk and watching "Law & Order". So the whole thing with the show is that "Harry" is an alien that has crash-landed on Earth before he could finish his mission and is looking for his ship or parts of it that he needs to recover so he can finish his mission. He wakes up and searches the mountainside where he believes it is and pretty much avoids all human contact. That's when things change and the local authorities seek him out because the person whose identity he has taken is a known doctor and they need him to investigate the death of the town doctor. He now has to not only go into town where there are humans everywhere but also interact with them and hope that no one can tell that he's really an alien in disguise. The storytelling, plot and character development in the show are done in such a great way in how it progresses forward but also shows things that occurred earlier in flashbacks and you get to know or see things that make the characters more 3-dimensional and feel more realistic. Harry is very smart for an alien but has no clue when it comes to a lot of the things we take for granted when it comes to being human, things like sarcasm, humor, and more. So his behavior is off-putting but tolerated and accepted for the most part. He reluctantly takes on the job of the town doctor when asked because he doesn't want for anyone to suspect anything which makes it harder for him especially when he learns the Mayor's son Max can see his true identity, something like only one in a million humans might be able to do. The head nurse Asta Twelvetrees make his job easier by assisting him and they bond rather quickly when he takes her up on the offer to go for a drink after work to the local bar. That's where they meet D'arcy the bartender and owner of the bar who is also Asta's best friend and they have fun drinking and dancing and "Harry" drinks heavily to fit in. There's some pretty funny scenes of the alien dancing too. The next day Asta asks "Harry" to help her get somethings from her abusive ex-boyfriend Jimmy's house and "Harry" saves her from him when begins attacking her. He helps her to leave and she confides in him, that she had a child with Jimmy when she was really young but gave it up for adoption as they were too young to take care of it. Like I said in the non-spoiler section this show has a good mix of mystery, comedy and drama and does it in a really good way. Just as it pulls you in one direction like the drama part about Asta's child then it steers you in a completely different direction like comedy again when you find out at the end of the first episode that "Harry's" first patient is Max, the Mayor's son who can see that he's really an alien. I really enjoyed this show and I'm so glad that they decided to renew it for another season and there will be a season 2 coming soon. I liked it so much that I'm actually thinking about checking out the comic books by Dark Horse comics to see how good they are too. Anyways I give this show a 8/10 and can't wait for it to return.
  
The Robber Knight
The Robber Knight
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
When you are fighting for the freedom of your people, falling in love with your enemy is not a great idea. Or is it? Ayla has to defend her castle and her people all on her own, with nobody to help her but a dark warrior she hates with all her heart.

Sir Reuben, the dreaded robber knight, has long been Ayla’s deadliest enemy. He has prayed on her and her people ever since her father fell ill, and she swore he would hang for his crimes. Now they are both trapped in her castle as the army of a far greater enemy approaches, and they have only one chance: stand together, or fall.

This book wasn’t bad, honestly. I’m a huge fan of historical fiction, and it had been awhile since I’ve read a medieval love story, so that was a nice change of pace.

The author is a historian, so there are a lot of little things in this book that you don’t see in a lot of other historical romance books. For instance,you can’t pull out arrows because there are often barbs attached to cause fatal wounds if pulled out. I did like learning about all of these facts. But sometimes Thier lets the historian in him gets the best of him, but more on that later.

Lady Ayla was a pretty interesting character. Headstrong and wise for her years, she is very noble and progressive. She has all of the makings for a great leader– with the exception of knowledge. I loved how kind and committed she was to her people and I love the fact that she has some spunk. I mean, if I’m getting robbed in the forest by this random stranger, then I hope I would swear him out too (of course, if I could beat him up and get away, then that’s even better, but Ayla doesn’t have much self-defense skills). But there were many times that she was annoying, like her insistence on being near battles, even before she started treating the sick. And how she tried to manage Sir Isenbard during battle. She had called on him for help because he was an experienced knight, and now she was questioning his commands and strategies in the heat of battle!

Mostly, though, I really did like Ayla. She defines the idea of nobility. With war inevitable, she’s willing to ride personally to the edges of her land to warn her subjects and she is always at the outskirts of battle to help care for the wounded. She invites everyone into the castle for their safety and rations herself as well as the others to conserve food. She’s even willing to corrupt herself to save her people.

Reuben is an excellent character as well, although it did take me awhile to like him. In the beginning he fell a little flat. It’s clear that he used to be a knight but something happened and now he robs people for his own greed. A near-death experience and being saved by Lady Ayla reawakens the humanity in him. And apparently also some depth.

In the beginning of the book he spends a lot of his time admiring his loot and laughing about his victims, who thought they had a right to steal from him. But that’s all he does. We have no real insight into his character or backstory until after he’s in Ayla’s care. Only then are there hints of a bad history where he had been arrested many times, been tortured, and had at one point been a member of respectable society. If it weren’t for the fact that I liked Ayla’a character and the plot so far, I probably would have stopped reading.

Thier is a writer who has really good potential in becoming a great romance writer, especially for historical fiction. The plots have some unique twists that are augmented by his knowledge of history and after Reuben’s character shaped up, he was an excellent love interest. But there is one huge problem with this story: the footnotes.

There are so many footnotes throughout most of the book that I feel like I’m reading a history textbook, which is not good when I usually read romance novels to take a break from homework. Not only are they distracting and unnecessary, but they are also rude and condescending. Sure, sometimes they were useful, like in explaining the references to the seven princes of hell. Another one was a pretty funny anecdote about how one of his readers had actually confirmed that lard burns and that burning arrows work because they had actually done it. There is also a lot of wit throughout the footnotes which is pretty amusing. But most of the time, they were annoying.

For instance, Robert Thier thought it was necessary to include a footnote about how witches were considered bad during medieval times. Seriously? Even if someone failed history, we know that witches are not considered fine, upstanding citizens. Or maybe he thinks all of us have been locked in our rooms with no books, internet or television for our entire lives and for the month of October we all miraculously fell into a coma so we couldn’t see the giant blow-up witch in the neighbor’s yard. And then we’d all wake up singing Christmas carols after the month long coma without a care in the world because this happens every year so we don’t know what a witch is. (I’m developing a conspiracy theory about how these strange comas was caused by witchcraft.)


Maybe Thier assumed that instead of us thinking Reuben was scared of witches when he wondered if Ayla was one, we just thought he was commenting on how much Ayla looked like Sandra Bullock.
And one of the footnotes was just plain offensive. Here is the line of text that the footnote is attached to: “Heel! Abominable villain! You dare defy me?” (page 74)

Now, here’s the footnote: “Sorry to disappoint the ladies, but this doesn’t refer to high heels. It is a medieval term for a very nasty person.”

Excuse me? Did you just assume that I thought it meant high heels and that would make me excited? What world do you live in?

Apparently he thinks “the ladies” are so dumb that we are incapable of taking context clues and we immediately think everything relates back to fashion. Maybe I didn’t know it meant “very nasty person”, but it’s pretty clear it’s a swear or insult of sometime, not a freaking Jimmy Choo. Does he just imagine us thinking high heel every time we hear the word?

“She broke his nose with the heel of her hand.” Oh. High heel!

“Heel, fido! I said heel!” Oh. High heel!

“It will take one or two days for your cut to heal.” Oh. High heel! (Because if he thinks we don’t understand the difference between uncomfortable footwear and an insult, then he probably thinks we can’t spell, either).

But hey, at least Robert Thier thinks women can memorize stuff, because the footnote links stop as the vocabulary is repeated instead of new terms being introduced.

Aside from the footnotes, I really do like this book, and I can’t wait to read the second part of it, which I’ll read soon. Thier still has a long way to go, but I think after he has more experience, he’ll write some great books.