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Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
2017 | Action, Adventure, Comedy
The most fun you can have with Jack Black’s penis.
In 1995, Joe Johnston (“The Rocketeer”, “Captain America: The First Avenger”) directed “Jumanji” – a quirky, fantastical and dark film starring the late, great Robin Williams that got a rough critical reception at the time of release, but was embraced by the public and has gone on to be a modern classic. So when it was announced that a sequel was in the works 22 years later, my first reaction was “Oh no… is nothing sacred?”. It’s fair to say that I went into this flick with extremely low expectations.

But I have to say that – given this low base – I was pleasantly surprised. It’s actually quite a fun fantasy film that I predict that older kids will adore.

Seriously kick-ass. Karen Gillan – or rather one of her stunt doubles – gets hands… er… feet on with an aggressive level-character.
Initially set (neatly) in 1995, a teen – Alex (Nick Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers) unearths the board game Jumanji where it ended up buried in beach-sand at the end of the last film. “Who plays board games any more?” he scoffs, which the game hears and morphs into a game cartridge. Cheesy? Yes, but no more crazy than the goings on of the first film. Back in 2017, four high-school teens – geeky Spencer (Alex Wolff, “Patriot’s Day“); sports-jock Fridge (Ser’Darius Blain); self-obsessed beauty Bethany (Madison Iseman); and self-conscious, nerdy and shy Martha (Morgan Turner) – find the game and are sucked into it, having to complete all the game levels before they can escape.

Bethany (Madison Iseman) wishing she had her phone out for a selfie of this.
But they are not themselves in the game; they adopt the Avatars they chose to play: Dr Bravestone (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“); Moose Finbar (Kevin Hart, “Get Hard“); Ruby Roundhouse (Karen Gillan, “Dr Who”, “The Circle“; “Guardians of the Galaxy“); and Professor Shelly Oberon (Jack Black, “Sex Tape“, “Kong”). Can they combine their respective game talents – and suppress the human mental baggage they brought with them – to escape the game?

Avatars all. Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillan and Jack Black.
There was a really dark time-travelling angle to the storyline of the original film – the traumatic start of Disney’s “Flight of the Navigator” was perhaps also borrowed from the concept in the book by Chris Van Allsburg. An attempt is made to recreate this in the sequel. I felt the first film rather pulled its punches though in favour of a Hollywood happy ending: will this be the case this time?

The film delivers laughs, but in a rather inconsistent fashion – it is mostly smile-worthy rather than laugh-out-loud funny. Much fun is had with the sex change of Bethany’s character, with Jack Black’s member featuring – erm – prominently. The characters all have strengths and weaknesses, like a game of Top Trumps, and this also entertains. But the most humour derives from the “three lives and it’s game over” device giving the opportunity for various grisly ends, often relating to the above referenced weaknesses.


A weakness for cake… something many of us have, but not quite to this extent.
Given the cast that’s been signed up, the acting is not exactly first rate although Karen Gillan shines as the brightest star. But “it’s not bloody Shakespeare” so ham-acting is not that much of a problem and the cast all have fun with their roles. Dwayne Johnson in particular gets to play out of character as the ‘nerd within the hunk’, and his “smouldering look” skill – arched eyebrow and all – is hilarious. Rhys Darby, looking so much like Hugh Jackman that I had to do several double takes, also turns up as an English game-guide in a Land Rover, and Bobby Cannavale (“Ant Man“) is Van Pelt, the villain of the piece.

There has been much controversy over Karen Gillan’s child-sized outfit. But she is clearly a parallel to the well-endowed Lara Croft, and young male teens didn’t play that game for the jungle scenery! She is meant to be a hot and sexy video game character, and man – does she deliver! Gillan is not just hot in the film: she is #lavahot. This makes her comic attempts at flirting lessons (as the internally conflicted Martha) especially funny. Hats off to her stunt doubles as well, for some awe-inspiring martial arts fight scenes.

Seeing treble. Karen Gillan (centre) with her talented stunt doubles Joanna Bennett and Jahnel Curfman.
Fans of “Lost” will delight in the Jumanji scenery, surely one of the most over-used film locations in Hawaii if not the world!
Where the film gets bogged down is in too much cod-faced philosophizing over the teenager’s “journeys”. This is laid on in such a clunky manner in the early (slow!) scenes that the script could have been significantly tightened up. And as I said above the script, written (rather obviously) by a raft of writers, could have been so much funnier. Most of the humour comes from visually seeing what’s happening: not from the dialogue.

Directed by Jake Kasdan (son of director and Star Wars/Raiders screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan) it’s really not half as bad as it could have been and certainly not as bad as I feared: I would gladly watch it again. For it’s target audience, which is probably kids aged 10 to 14, I think they will love it. And, unlike many holiday films, the parents won’t be totally bored either (especially the Dads, for the obvious misogynistic reasons outlined above!).
  
The Elder Scrolls Online Tamriel Unlimited
The Elder Scrolls Online Tamriel Unlimited
2015 | Massively Multiplayer
Many of my friends kept telling me I should play Elder Scrolls Online because it was a lot of fun and set before the events of Skyrim. I told them I didn't have it yet, but eventually I would check it out. I liked that they followed in the steps of Guild Wars 2 by not having a monthly subscription, once you buy the game it's yours to play to your heart's content. I waited until it went on sale on Steam and got the collector's edition which included three DLCs and a horse mount. I was excited to create a new character and explore the world of Elder Scrolls Online. I actually made two characters both in the Nightblade job class a Dark Elf and a Wood Elf. You can have 8 character slots which is pretty nice. I may go and try out a Khajiit character later.


One of the many Khajit characters in the game.

The character creation is very user friendly with a variety of options. However, I once again wondered why there so many different variations of bald for the female characters. I suppose that just gives you a lot of options if that's your thing. I did like that there were plenty of longer hair options for the characters. Once my character creation was complete, I could not wait to start my adventure. I also had to pick which server to play on North American or European. I went with North American as the time difference doesn't really let me play with my European friends. Depending on which character you pick: Dark Elf, Wood Elf, High Elf, Khajit, Argonian, Nord, Breton, Redguard, or Orc you start the game that gives you a tutorial introduction for the game controls and then you have racial origin quests you can play. I play the game on PC so my controls were for the PC, but you can also play the game on PS4 and XboxOne. Once I finished the tutorial quest I was able to really begin exploring the world of Tamriel.



My Dark Elf ready for adventure!

One great thing that stands out is how easy the controls are to map and use. The user menu for items and quest logs is incredibly user friendly making the game feel nicely streamlined. There is literally tons to see and do in Elder Scrolls Online ranging from a myriad of side quests to origin story quests as well as the main story quests. Another thing I like is the dungeon system. While I like Final Fantasy 14, the one thing I really do not like is how many forced dungeon crawls there are. Elder Scrolls Online has made it so that if you want to do a dungeon you can or you can just skip it if it's not your thing.

There are actually seven different types of dungeons. You have the public dungeons which if you have the right character build, you can solo very easily. This dungeon is open to everyone so solo players can come in and explore and team up with people who are in there if they wish. Public dungeons are a bit more challenging than the other dungeons so in general a group definitely helps. Delves are solo dungeons pertinent to whichever quest you're on. Non-Veteran group dungeons are instanced dungeons that require a group of four and are normal mode and scale to the level of the group leader. Veteran dungeons are instanced as well, but they don't unlock until you're level 50 and they are a higher difficulty than the other dungeons. Trials are 12 person instances that are mainly for endgame content and require a solid group and teamwork. Craglorn delves are instanced dungeons that have you kill a specific bosses inside. Finally, there is the Dragonstar Arena which is a 4 person instance PVE (Player versus event) arena. This has 10 different levels where you work together to fight 5 waves of monsters in each level and a final boss at the end. This is a difficult level dungeon for experienced players.


Battling in a Delve.



There is chat of course and for the most part it's alright in the fact that you can learn about events or people looking for groups so you can team up for quests and dungeons. This also lets you know what guilds are out there recruiting. Other times I tend to turn off zone chat because there's only so many sexual innuendo and dick jokes I can take. For the most part I run around by myself doing quests and I always have fun doing them and I have done a few group dungeons which are fun as well. The community in Elder Scrolls Online is quite friendly from what I've experienced and there are a lot of players who are willing to help if you need it and give advice about the game and class builds. I've even had a few players trade gear with me to help my Nightblade characters be even better which was so nice of them. That alone has made my experience with Elder Scrolls Online even more enjoyable.

The different areas that I've explored so far are beautiful. Just exploring is a lot of fun in itself because each area is completely different so it's a lot of fun to just look around at everything. The music in the game is fantastic as well and sets a great atmosphere for the story and quests. The battles are fun and easy to navigate. Leveling doesn't feel like a chore and unlocking skills is simple to do and with enough skill points you can even morph your skills into more powerful abilities. Traveling is great too because once you unlock a way shrine you can fast travel to those spots that you have unlocked. It does cost some gold when you fast travel however, but with all the quests you get under your belt it's not that big a deal. Traveling on a mount is easy, you can just use a command that has your character whistle and your mount will appear so you can head to where you need to go.


My Wood Elf admiring the beautiful scenery.

There is PVP (player versus player) in the game. You can fight in Cyrodiil from level 10 and above. You can also challenge other players to a duel anywhere in Tamriel. If the person accepts your duel challenge, a flag appears and you fight in the designated area marked by the flag, if you leave that area it results in a forfeit. I tried it out once just to see what it was like (PVP is not my thing) and it was alright. For those who love PVP it is one more fun adventure thing you can do in the game.

You can do crafting in the game as well. There is an introductory quest to crafting that you get so you can learn about the craft you choose. There are six crafts to choose from: Blacksmith, Clothier, Alchemy, Enchanting, Provisioning, and Woodworking. The tutorial on how to do the crafts is easy to follow and once you get started it's easy to do. This is also a terrific way to make a bit of extra coin in the game for all the things you need such as gear and healing potions.

The one issue I have with Elder Scrolls Online is that there is no cross platform gaming. This means if you play on the PC, but your friends play on the PS4 or XboxOne consoles you can't play together. This means that PC players are on their own server and the console players are on their own separate server. I can understand a bit why they did it that way, but it kind of sucks that I can't play with my friends who are on the console platforms. In that regard, Final Fantasy 14 is winning because you can play with your friends across all platforms. Perhaps that may change in the future, but for now that's not the case.

Lack of cross platform gaming aside, Elder Scrolls Online is a great game. It's a fun adventure with a ton of content to explore and plenty of things to see and do. I'm glad I was able to check it out and I'm enjoying playing by myself and with other people. It's an MMORPG that offers a lot of great things in its game and gives a huge amount of freedom to the different play styles that people have allowing everyone to enjoy the game the way they wish. Now, I'm off to do some more adventuring in Tamriel!
  
Beasts of the Frozen Sun
Beasts of the Frozen Sun
Jill Criswell | 2019 | Romance, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Young Adult (YA)
10
10.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
The plot - so bloody action-packed that leaves you exhausted at times (3 more)
The Villain - makes you want to fall in love with him but then he does something terrible and you want to dismiss him
The enemies to lovers - the MC's are everything
The writing - Jill Criswell does an amazing job with descriptive text and lyrical writing. I was enthralled throughout.
This book is so underrated and it deserves all the hype!
You can also find this review on my blog: bookingwayreads.wordpress.com

TRIGGER WARNINGS: war, violence, blood, gore, talk of sexual assault, child abuse, emotional abuse, animal violence, animal sacrifice, death of an animal, anger issues, arsony, death, murder, talk of drowning, absent parent, death of a parent, disowning, forced marriage, death of a sibling, manipulation, mind control, slavery, starvation, torture, trauma

REVIEW: First off, I want to say to not let all of those trigger warnings deter you from reading this breathtaking novel. Beasts of the Frozen Sun was extremely well-written and I will keep screaming this from the rooftops for as long as I am alive of how amazing this novel is.

Beasts of the Frozen Sun is loaded with badassery and brutally epic scenes. Also, that cover is one of the most beautiful covers I’ve ever seen. There was complexity to the world-building, relatable characters that you just can’t help but fall in love with, brutal wars and men as monstrous as some of the men in the world today. This fantasy novel was defiantly on the darker side, but it D E L I V E R E D ! And it delivered an immersive read that drowned you in the world until the very end.

Beasts of the Frozen Sun follows Lira, the heroine who is gifted from the gods and goddess’. This gift, the ability to read a person’s soul by just touching their chest, was used by others – mainly Lira’s father and uncle. But then a golden-haired giant washes ashore and Lira decides to help him heal. She hides him away and the two of them grow close, forming a bond that is forbidden by both of their clans. But then, the Dragon comes into the story and Lira is left fighting for her life, Reyker’s soul, and her people’s freedom.

Things I loved about Beasts of the Frozen Sun:
1. The main character being a badass heroine who gets angry when her sword is taken from her.
2. The love interest being a tough “bad boy” on the outside, but deep down he’s a big ole softie.
3. Gods/Goddess’ that walk the Earth with humans (even sometimes messing with them)
4. Magical powers that were once used for evil but now are used for good.
5. The whole ‘pretend to be sick so we can get close’ ordeal.

“Looking into his eyes was like gazing at the ocean – swirling shades of deep cobalt and steel gray. Fathomless. Familiar.”

When each of the characters were introduced, I was amazed at how spectacular, unique, and so very strong each of them were! Lira and Reyker’s bond was intense and absolutely addictive. They are literally EVERYTHING. The two are star-crossed lovers but also enemies to lovers and I NEED MORE OF THEM.

The world is out to keep them apart but the two are magnets. And nothing can keep them apart for very long, not even the world no matter how hard it tries too. Reyker is the beast. He was saved from drowning by Lira, who helped him heal by hiding him away. She teaches him her language and she stands by his side. Even when the rest of the world has chewed him up and spit him back out.

Lira battles with being used and caged. She hates feeling like “property” by her father and uncle. She also refuses to believe that Reyker isn’t worth saving. She is one badass heroine and I strive to be her. Smash these two together and you get one powerful couple!

I also want to take a moment to say that Quinlan has my heart and I need to see more of him in book 2 please dear author! I will pay you in my tears and heart if I have too.

“If I die in a cage tomorrow, or I die in a cage in ten years – what is the difference? A cage is not a life.”

The world-building in Beasts of the Frozen Sun was… OMG seriously some of the best I’ve ever read. With history, there is always brutality and this novel does include that. Death, torture, the treatment of woman were all horrible and at times a bit hard to read but Jill Criswell has such raw talent at describing things that she does an amazing job writing those style of scenes. And with this being a story set back in history, those themes are inevitable. But each theme included, made Beasts of the Frozen Sun seem more and more realistic with each passing page.

The plot of this novel is everything!! Wars to villages raids to snuggles between Lira and Reyker. There was never a boring moment within Beasts of the Frozen Sun. It was packed with so much intensity that at times, it left you a bit exhausted. The plot was also dark and brutal but it fit with the story. This was a bloody amazing action-packed novel of magic and redemption, high stakes and brutal fights, powerful woman and monstrous men.

I am on my first ever book hangover. That ending… Jill Criswell is a cruel woman to leave me hanging in the way she did. But OHMAGAWD, I CAN NOT WAIT for book two of this series. Please, if you only ever pick up one book that I recommend, please please please pick this amazing novel up!

“When that dark womb of stillness engulfed him, he embraced it with a flood of relief. Reyker welcomed whatever torments waited him on the other side of this world, knowing it was nothing less than he deserved.”
  
40x40

Hadley (567 KP) rated Feed in Books

Sep 29, 2020  
Feed
Feed
Mira Grant | 2010 | History & Politics, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Thriller
2
6.5 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
Bloggers rule the world (0 more)
Writing (3 more)
Characters
Inconsistencies
Not a horror book, as marketed
What if a powerful virus was released in the air? What if you had to be tested for it every time you tried to walk into a building? Does this sound a little familiar? What if I told you this scenario was written about back in 2010?

In her novel Feed, writer Mira Grant gives readers this very scenario of an airborne, blood transferred virus; something that seems very familiar in today's environment and day-to-day living- - - just minus the zombies.

Grant started out as an urban fantasy writer known as Seanan McGuire, with her first full-length novel being Rosemary and Rue. She received the 2010 John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer, as well as many other awards for her work in fiction. There are four books in the Newsflash series (Feed being the first of these).

We meet our main characters, Georgia and Shaun, while they're out in the 'field' filming some zombies for their blog. Shaun is the more careless one, as we witness him poking at zombies with his hockey stick. The two suddenly have to leave when the zombies become a pack. This is where it gets a little strange- - -Georgia explains to the readers that when zombies are in a pack, they become stronger and somehow smarter, but throughout the rest of the book, it's never really explained how this happens.

In this world, blogging and your view count determines your quality of life. Georgia and Shaun have spent years making their blog- - - After the End Times- - - into a popular blog. Every blogger's dream is to be picked to follow the campaign trail of any upcoming politician, and that is exactly what happens to our main characters. Unfortunately, this is when the book turns into a political thriller- - - this happens within the first fifty pages. Zombies end up taking a backseat from here-on-out.

We still get to learn about the virus (Kellis-Amberlee) throughout the book. We're told that any animal that weighs more than 40 pounds is capable of having the virus, and that some people are even born with a dormant-type of the virus inside of them, but this is also never explained in the entire story, at least in book one. Georgia makes it quite clear throughout the novel that she is completely against anyone owning pets that weigh over 40 pounds, but this is due-to her family having lost their younger son to a pet that went viral. This becomes extremely repetitive. Every time that an animal is brought up or seen, Georgia has to retell her stance on owning pets, when once or twice was enough to let the readers know where she stands on the subject.

There are moments of zombie attacks- - - such as after a political rally in a small town where Georgia and her crew are following Senator Ryman on his race to become President, when bodyguards are attacked by a small group of the undead, and Georgia and Shaun become cornered by a few of them- - - these scenes read as if to just keep the zombie trope going, not to actually make the story better. Grant continually repeats herself throughout the book, and because of this, the story didn't have to be as long as it is. Such as with these few zombie attacks, the reader never feels much danger for the characters. And I found that the characters turn out to just not be that likable.

One such character that had potential is Buffy; the backbone of the After the End Times blog. Scenes that were meant to make the reader care for her fell short. Unlike scenes with Georgia and Shaun, including the bond between them, is not felt with Buffy's scenes; she merely seems like a filler character to make certain parts of the story make sense by constantly disappearing and reappearing wherever need be.

Georgia does have an interesting quirk in the book. She harbors the dormant Kellis-Amberlee virus, which has effected her eyes. She can't be in bright lights because they give her blinding headaches, so she wears sunglasses nearly everywhere: " I collapsed onto our bed at the local four-star hotel a little after dawn, my aching eyes already squeezed shut. Shaun was a bit steadier on his feet and he stayed upright long enough to make sure the room's blackout curtains were drawn. "

The technical side of the story - - - the computer world and the electronic usage- - - in Feed is done pretty well. It's like the movie Nightcrawler meets 28 Days Later, but with a lot less zombies. We get to see the seedy underbelly of journalism- - - where bloggers are willing to do anything to get their view count high. Readers also get to witness how life is like living in a world held hostage by a virus - - -something that is very relatable today.

Georgia constantly reminds readers that she doesn't care about other people, and that Shaun is the only person she cares for- - - and, of course, the view count. She continually blames her lack of empathy on their adoptive parents, stating that they only took them in for the their own blog view counts. Oddly after such information, Shaun doesn't seem to be the immature one in the duo.

I haven't read the other three books, one which is a republishing of Feed, but from a different point-of-view. This story was disguised as a horror novel, but just ended up being a political thriller with some zombies thrown in for a much wider reading audience. The book skims over what life would be like after a devastating virus takes over, but focuses on what politics would be like. I can't recommend Feed as a horror novel; the tagline is also misleading: " 'The good news: we survived. The bad news: so did they. " Unless Grant was talking about politicians....

I didn't give the story a low rating because it wasn't exactly a horror book, but instead for these reasons: throughout the story, Grant repeats a lot of information that was explained earlier in the book (and only needed to be explained once); she also had inconsistencies throughout, sometimes even in the very next sentence. Adding things that needed to be explained which weren't, and the afterthoughts that broke up the flow of the story, I just couldn't enjoy it. But, if you like political thrillers, then you might like this one. I won't be continuing this series.
  
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
2016 | Fantasy
Some of the lighting is well implemented (1 more)
Colin Farrell
Bad CGI (2 more)
The movies 3 leads are extremely annoying
Johnny 'oooh' Depp
Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them - Or JK Rowling and the Never Ending Quest for More Money
Contains spoilers, click to show
First off, full disclosure, I have never been a fan of the Harry Potter franchise. I’ve read a few of the books and seen a few of the movies and it just isn’t my thing. Honestly, I’m not even a fan of fantasy in general, I think Lord Of The Rings is nonsense and Game Of Thrones is vastly overrated and the last Harry Potter movie I saw was the fourth one. However, I was willing to go into this movie with a clean slate and hopefully have it win me over and unfortunately it didn’t. Also this review will contain spoilers if you care about that sort of thing.

This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.

So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.

So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.

Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.

Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.

Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
  
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Warhammer: Chaosbane
Fighting
There have been a lot of Warhammer games released over the past year or so. Everything from managing spaceships, to Real-Time Strategy, to Tactical Combat based games have been represented between the Warhammer and the Warhammer 40,000 universe. EKO Software and Bigben decided to add the action-RPG to the mix with their fun to play Diablo clone Warhammer: Chaosbane.

Much like the games that it takes inspiration from, you have the opportunity to pick one of four characters to battle the Lords of Chaos and bring order to the land. Your standard archetype characters are all here in standard Warhammer Fantasy. The Dwarven “Slayer” class, for those who like a barbarian class to rage havoc upon his foes, The High-Elf Mage who utilizes his magic to bring down the forces of chaos, the ho-hum Imperial Soldier who can take and deal out a huge amount of damage, and the Wood Elf who uses her bow and dagger to deal damage at a frighteningly fast pace.

Each of the characters have their own unique secondary ability that allows them to gain a strategic advantage on their foes. The Slayer can vault himself into enemies (much like the Barbarian class in Diablo), The Mage can control magical projectiles towards his targets, the Imperial soldier can shield bash targets and the Wood Elf can tumble in and out of danger. I played through the vast majority of the game as the Wood Elf and learning to use her tumble ability and stay mobile is some of the best ways to beat the bosses that you will come across.

One area where Warhammer: Chaosbane improves on the standard Diablo formula is how it handles health and energy/mana. Various items you equip can provide health regeneration on their own or you also possess the ability to use a “health Potion” that refills slowly each time you use it. Thankfully this means you don’t have individual health potions cluttering up your inventory. Mana/Energy is used for special attacks and actions…each time you use a skill some of your Mana/Energy is used. There are a few ways you can recoup your energy. The first is to use your general attacks on creatures, as you successfully hit each one your energy fills a little until it tops the meter off. The other way is to reach out to your familiar who follows you around the screen. My familiar was a butterfly that I could run over to when I’d run low on energy and it would fill my meter about half way. When you utilize your familiar in this way they must also recharge, so use them wisely.

One of the more unique items that you acquire as you slice your way through the hordes of demons and undead are Blood Orbs. Blood Orbs appear on the battlefield seemingly at random (although the more enemies you cut down the more likely they are to appear). As you acquire these orbs it fills a Blood lust meter and when full imbues your character with incredible power and near invincibility until the meter runs out. The Orbs don’t stay on the battlefield forever however, and they slowly lose power the longer you wait to gather them, so it encourages you to step out of the battle (or in my case roll out of the battle) to gather them as quickly as you can. As you progress your character you’ll be given the chance to upgrade these as well which essentially allows you to fill multiple meters and grants you this special power for longer lengths of time.

Skills are broken down into various types which allow you to outfit your character to best suit your play style. There are literally dozens of both active and passive skills to choose from, and each of these skills can be upgraded as well for improved effects or damage. As the Wood Elf Elessa, I was able to summon dryads to my side to help me deal with the hordes of enemies. In edition there are also God Skills that you acquire as you level up and complete missions. These special skills unlock more powerful abilities but also unlock traits as you apply the points. Traits such as health regeneration or critical hit chances are only some of the ones that you can unlock along the God Skill tree that give you a sense that your character is becoming more unstoppable with every skill acquired.

Unfortunately, the inconsistent voice acting is what relegates Chaosbane to being good instead of great. I made the mistake of choosing the character with the worst voice acting in the bunch and if I had played through with another character I may not have noticed how truly terrible it was. Elessa delivers her lines in an almost wooden (pun intended) manner, almost as if reading directly from a script. This gets even more noticeable when on occasion her voice changes to that of a man. The developers and testers did a good job of catching most of them, but there were at least five or six dialog trees where Elessa’s voice changed completely. I have two theories on this, my first theory (although I hadn’t confirmed this) is that the character was originally meant to be portrayed as a man and was changed to add a bit more diversity to the line-up. Not that there is anything wrong with having the main characters all be male, but it certainly could have limited the appeal of the audience. My second theory is that some of the dialog was simply place holders while they were sourcing out the right voice actors and simply missed replacing the audio bytes.

Either way, Elessa isn’t the only place where the voice acting takes a turn for the worst, other characters suffer from this fate as well. While the Warhammer games have always used bravado to deliver their dialog, it is simply too over the top in most cases. The first boss I encountered sounded like Cobra Commander who had just walked off the set of the latest GI Joe Cartoon to lead the forces of Chaos…Yo Joe! The fact that the game is voice acted entirely is something that I do applaud the developers for insisting on, it’s just disappointing that you find yourself reading through the dialog as quickly as possible and skipping the voices whenever you can.

Even with its flaws Warhammer: Chaosbane is a fun Diablo clone and an absolute blast to play. The story is forgettable, the voices laughable, but the combat scratches the same itch that any other action roleplaying game provides. There’s plenty of loot to acquire, that ranges from common to rare, and your ability to “bless” items to make them more powerful is an added bonus. There are a whopping ten levels of difficulty, each level provides for a more difficult adventure with the promise of even better loot. With both couch co-op and online multiplayer, it even harkened me back to the days of playing the original Gauntlet in the arcades. If you like the Warhammer universe and are looking for a game you can pick up and play with relative ease, then Warhammer: Chaosbane is just the game you are looking for.

What I liked: Fun combat, Amazing selection of skills, Plays equally well with keyboard/mouse or controller

What I liked less: Terrible voice acting, Repetitive loot drops, Forgettable story
  
Questeros
Questeros
2021 | Card Game, Fantasy
You know that messed up deal when you are just chillin’ in the forest doing goblin-y things when you are caught and forced into a life of servitude by the king of the realm, and then when he needs someone to go on a dangerous quest he calls upon you, the now court jester, to fulfill said quest? Doesn’t that just chap your hide? Such is exactly the setting in which our hero(?) finds themselves in Questeros, or more fitting, Ero’s Quest (the solo adventure variant).

Ero is the goblin court jester from the open who has been “chosen” to quest about the land to rid it of the ne’er-do-wells of the realm. In this solo adventure mode of Questeros the player will be donning the visage and character of Ero as they travel about developing their skills and having encounters with powerful beings. It is up to the player to guide Ero through the kingdom and rid it of the foul that is plaguing it.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup the solo game, fondly and ingeniously-named “Ero’s Quest,” follow the rulebook to divide the tarot cards into their specific stacks and splays so that it roughly imitates the photo below. Draw a hand of five cards from the deck and the game may begin.
On a turn the player has a choice of seven actions that may be performed in any order. Each action may only be performed once per turn and when the turn is over the final action is Rest. To use the Develop action the player will place a card from their hand onto the Blades, Staves, or Orbs stacks in next-numerical order. This increases Ero’s attack and spending power. To Puchase cards Ero will spend Orb cards to look at the spent Orb value worth of cards from the draw deck, add one to their hand, and place the others at the bottom of the draw deck. At times Ero will need to Forget cards from hand in order to make room for more cards to enter it via the Learn action. Forgetting simply discards cards from hand while learning draws cards into hand from the draw deck. Recover is used to stand any kneeling/turned/rotated cards into an unused state by destroying cards of higher value from hand. As stated previously, to Rest is to end the turn by discarding the top card of the draw deck to setup the next turn.

I purposely left out the final action choice, Encounter, for a specific reason. Ero’s Quest is won when the entire deck of 21 Encounter cards is defeated. Each of these cards depicts a person or persons that Ero meets in his travels. Some require Ero to give them cards in order to pass. Some require Ero to succeed in battle against them in order to progress. In either case, Ero will need to get through the entire deck before his draw deck runs out in order to win the game.

Battle in Ero’s Quest is turn-based, where the Encounter persona attacks first, thus handing Ero wounds immediately. Wounds are suffered by spending Cups cards in value of the wound taken. For example, the Assassin is a value of 12, so they immediately wound Ero for 12 damage at the start of the encounter. Ero will spend a value of 12 Cups cards to simulate damage taken. Ero may then attack with a combination of available Blades, Staves, and any Ally cards obtained – one of each per attack turn. If the Encounter is defeated, Ero lives on. If the Encounter is not yet defeated, the battle continues with the Encounter card dealing damage and Ero responding with damage until one is defeated.


As mentioned earlier, the Encounter deck contains 21 cards with six of these being combat encounters. Ero has a ton of work to do and when each turn requires a card to be discarded before a new round may begin, they also have an in-game clock ticking and ticking each turn. However, if Ero is able to Develop their skills and overcome all the Encounters, the game is won and Ero becomes a Hero.
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, and many items are not fully completed in this version. That said, what we were provided is a large stack of tarot-sized cards, a first player Ero token (for multiplayer games), and a large pad of scoring sheets (also for multiplayer use). The cards are great quality and feature some really excellent artwork (on the cards that have the completed artwork on them). I do like the art style employed here, as I am a fan of fantasy themes, and I know that the game will probably ship with similar iconography, but may also be color-coded for ease of reference. All in all I believe Questeros is headed in the right direction for components, and a successful Kickstarter campaign may improve that even further.

The gameplay for the solo adventure of Ero’s Quest is really decent and engaging. So often I have found myself crunching numbers in my head and attempting to utilize my horrible card-counting “skills” to determine my next actions to take. Turns can be very intense and fruitful, or very frustrating and minimal, especially when you are waiting to draw that 3 of Blades so you can place it on the 2 of Blades sitting there, but it just won’t come up. And here you are sitting with the 4, 5, and 6 of Blades in hand and a Necromancer staring right at you awaiting combat. That is the definition of frustrating, but games usually take less than an hour, so even if an entire game is chock full of these turns, you can always setup a new game quickly and hope for better luck.

I like this one. I really do. It is interesting, has a great theme, so many delicious choices, and multiple ways to use the cards for game modes or tarot decks or even RPG FATE decks! On versatility alone I would rate this one high. If you are looking for a little card game to satisfy your mid-weight solo thirst, then check out Questeros. If you need a tarot game in your collection (as I look at mine and see no others), consider this one. It takes up very little shelf space, but looks great on the table and offers a great little solo experience. I have yet to beat the solo adventure, but Ero is calling my name for another go, and I might just have to give in. Again. And again.
  
Gideon's Angel
Gideon's Angel
Clifford Beal | 2013 | Fiction & Poetry, Paranormal, Science Fiction/Fantasy
10
10.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Note: this review is transposted from my personal review blog, and so was originally written several years ago. I figured if I reposted it here, someone might actually read it….


I received my copy of Gideon’s Angel through the Goodreads FirstReads program. This in no way influences my review, except to ensure that I was able to get ahold of this book and thus review it. I have to say, I really enjoyed this one. I want to describe it as “steampunk,” but my understanding is that steampunk is usually set in the 1800s (or at least that level of tech and society) whereas this work is firmly set in 1653. If there’s already a term for pseudo-historical fiction with a fantasy touch set in that timeframe, I apologize for not knowing what it is and using it accordingly.

Things are not going well for Richard Treadwell. The English Civil War is over, the King’s Cavaliers lost to the forces of Parliament and Oliver Cromwell, and Charles I has been executed. Treadwell has managed to escape the destruction of his cause, and has spent the past eight years in exile in France, performing a delicate balancing act between loyalty to his exiled king* and his employer, Cardinal Mazarin. When Mazarin informs him that someone is using the forces of Hell to tip the balance in their favor and asks him to spy on the exile court to find out if it is one of the king’s supporters, Treadwell decides that it’s time to get out of Paris. He accepts a mission for one of the king’s more militant supporters that will take him back to his beloved England–to lead a Royalist uprising, one last try to oust Cromwell and his Puritan cronies. Treadwell has other business to tend to as well, including a wife who by now probably considers herself a widow. Unfortunately for Treadwell’s simple worldview, it soon becomes clear that Cromwell’s power is the only thing preventing the more radical Puritan elements from running roughshod over the whole country. Worse still, a demon from the pits of Hell has appeared to a radical Puritan sect masquerading as an angel of light and ordering the death of Cromwell so that the Kingdom of God may be fulfilled. Now instead of assassinating Cromwell Treadwell will be forced to save him–if he can find a way to fight the forces of Hell, gain some allies in his quest, and avoid d’Artagnan, a young Musketeer dispatched by the Cardinal to bear him back to Paris….

I really enjoyed this book. It’s not exactly “high literature,” but I think I’ve very well established that I care far more about a work’s entertainment value than whatever it is critics look for. The world Beal creates here feels very real, slipping in background historical information without making you feel like you’ve been lectured. Some readers will probably wish for more background on the English Civil War, and that’s fine. If they care that much, there are numerous good books on the subject. If they don’t, there’s a Wikipedia article that should give you a good rundown on what happened. Beal manages to evoke seventeenth-century London in all its grimy glory, much as it would have actually been aside from the fact that all the magic we dismiss as superstition is actually going on behind the scenes. Moreover, this magic very much resembles what you would find depicted in the folklore of the era without obvious modern embellishment. I’m not really all that well versed in the history of the Freemasons, so I can’t accurately speak to how they were portrayed here except to say that I very much doubt their claim to date back to the builders of the pyramids. Then again, I doubt they have the tools to summon demons too, so maybe I shouldn’t be too critical. Secondary characters generally proved to be interestingly complex, especially Billy Chard, but I am seeing criticism of how the female characters in the book act. They aren’t weak characters by any means, but they are constrained by their roles in society. Treadwell’s wife has pragmatically joined her fate to that of the officer who took over Treadwell’s land when he was banished and is pregnant with his child. Is she weak for this? Or is she a strong female doing what she has to in order to protect what is left of her family? Treadwell’s Parisian mistress follows him to England rather than stay in Paris and face the scandal of their liasion alone. Weak, for needing Treadwell by her side? Or strong, for following him into whatever dangers he may be facing? Finally, Isabelle decides to follow her father and the rest of Treadwell’s band into battle against the forces of Darkness, deciding that it would be better to fall by his side than live on without him. Possibly a sign of weakness, but look at her situation realistically. She and her father were driven from Spain for their Jewish heritage, her mother dying along the way. Jews do not fare well in the Christian world of the seventeenth century, not even in England. The lot of a young woman alone in the world is already hard enough in this time without adding the burden of religious and ethnic persecution. She would have no respectable means of supporting herself, and could conceivably find herself forced into prostitution–on her own if she was lucky, as no more than a slave if she was not. Is preferring death in battle to such a fate a sign of weakness or of strength? She certainly has no trouble speaking her mind, and in fact berates Treadwell severely for endangering her father when they first meet. I suppose I can understand where some people would find these characters and their portrayal to be weak and sexist, but I respectfully disagree. I submit that instead they are strong characters reacting realistically to a world where women are not treated equally–in fact, I would have more of a problem with them if they demonstrated anachronistic modern sensibilities.** The ending was a little deus ex machina, but on the whole I didn’t mind. I would say that I want to read a sequel, but I don’t think the author could come up with anything to top this in terms of personal impact on the characters–Treadwell’s internal conflict between hating Cromwell and having to save him is very well done, and I fear Beal would prove unable to find something equally interesting as a follow up. We never really got to find out what happened to Treadwell back during the Thirty Years War that introduced him to the world of angels and demons, so I could see maybe writing that up….I’d buy it, anyway.

CONTENT: R-rated language, occasionally harsh but I would argue not gratuitous. Moderately explicit sexual content, as you would expect from a work in this vein.*** A fair amount of violence, from both man and demon. Not usually too gory in its description. There is also a good deal of occult content, as the villains are summoning a demon they believe to be an angel. This demon’s lesser minions dog Treadwell and his friends, and there are multiple encounters with them. One is implied to be a golem, others appear as strange amalgamations of beast(s) and man. For me, this is adequately balanced by the recognition that, as powerful as the forces of Darkness are, God is far more powerful than they. Bottom line: if you’re mature enough to handle the other content, I don’t believe the occult elements should prove to be an issue.

*Charles I was executed, while his son Charles II went into exile. Just in case you were concerned with the historical accuracy of the book. So far as I can tell, this is pretty accurate. You know, aside from the demons and fictional characters roaming London…..

**Please understand, I’m neither defending nor endorsing the inequality of the seventeenth century. Neither is Clifford Beal, for that matter. I’m simply pointing out that it was how it was, and this was the world the characters would have come from. I’m all for equality, but to whitewash history and pretend it was different from it was….that way lies dangerous waters.

***This evokes more than anything a supernatural-tinged Alexandre Dumas novel for me….and you know how bawdry his musketeers could be when they wanted to be.

Original post: https://jordanbinkerd.wordpress.com/2013/10/24/review-gideons-angel-by-clifford-beal/
  
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Mothergamer (1546 KP) rated the PC version of The Witcher III: Wild Hunt in Video Games

Apr 3, 2019  
The Witcher III: Wild Hunt
The Witcher III: Wild Hunt
Role-Playing
I was excited to play Witcher 3 Complete Edition as I had never played it before, yet I had read all the books about the Witcher Geralt and liked them a lot. I have not played the first two games, but they are both on my to play list. Geralt's world is interesting filled with complex characters, fantastic monsters, and great storytelling. All I can say is that I have a ton of games to play and some things get backlogged. I still have a stack of PS3 games to play and of course, I'll be playing the remastered Skyrim for PS4 when it comes out and that's another game I haven't played yet, but for this moment let's discuss how much I loved Witcher 3.

 Yes, I loved Witcher 3. I stayed up way too late many a night playing this game because I was having so much fun running around killing monsters and helping people in need. My vision of Geralt was someone who did his best to do the right thing and that sometimes that meant siding with the occasional monster because there were times when humans were the real monsters. The story drew me in right away and these were characters and lore I was familiar with so I was thrilled to explore the entire world in the game. Truly, I unlocked entire maps because I just had to know what everything was. The areas that were too high a level for me at the time I made a note of where they were and came back later. I think it's great when a game makes exploration fun and it definitely helped having Geralt's horse, Roach to help that exploration go a bit faster.

The environments in Witcher 3 are amazing. I would find myself stopping and just looking around at the scenery whether it was roaming through a forest or wandering the streets of a city. The attention to minute details was quite impressive. The gameplay is great. The gaming controls are fine tuned to make battles fun without feeling frustrating and the camera angles are spot on which made a terrific gaming experience for me. The music for Witcher 3 is beautiful. My favorite music was for the area of Skellige. Skellige was also my favorite place to explore because it was so pretty there with all the wild flowers and forests. I genuinely liked the people there too because many of them did not treat Geralt with complete suspicion or call him a freak the way they did in cities like Novigrad. They respected him and what he did; the fact that he was a Witcher and had cat eyes didn't really come up much. I felt that showed a lot of variety in the thinking of the people in the different areas.

There are mini games to play as well. I enjoyed the horse races because those were fun and worth the time and effort. They gave some great rewards such as saddle bags that increased my inventory space and saddles that increased my horse's stamina and speed. Then there's a card game called Gwent which you can play with various people ranging from innkeepers to some of Geralt's friends. I really tried with Gwent. It was a bit confusing for me and I found myself looking up videos on YouTube just to try and get the gist of it, and it helped a bit. However, a huge shout out to my friend Danny for giving a simple explanation of how it worked and the best strategy to winning because that helped more. I mainly just wanted to finish the Gwent side quests I had and I managed to do that. After that, I no longer bothered playing Gwent. It just wasn't my thing, but I will say graphics wise it was a well designed mini game and while it was a tad frustrating for me, I understood why many of my friends enjoyed it. There's also fist fights tournaments (think Fight Club) that Geralt can participate in. I aced the heck out of those and won all those prize coin purses. My favorite fight was the Rock Troll because it was interesting and I got to learn his name at the end; a reward for winning the fight.

Level grinding was not a chore for me in the game because there were so many quests and Witcher contracts which involves hunting specific monsters or investigating things that might involve monsters. These offer good experience and a lot of money for Geralt. There are times when the leveling feels a bit uneven because sometimes the main story quests give more experience than a few of the contracts and side quests. It's not a big deal, but it is noticeable. The skills menu for unlocking Geralt's Witcher abilities and upgrading them is easy to navigate and quite user friendly. My favorite skill was an upgrade of the Axii skill known as Puppet which could make enemies fight each other. The cutscenes and voice acting are superb; while the loading times are practically seamless which made me very happy.


First of all, I don't like anyone telling me what to do. Ask my parents. There was a time when I was told to eat my vegetables when I was a kid and instead of doing that, I stealthily put them under my chair and claimed my plate was clean because I wanted to go play with my friends. Hey, I was four. What the heck did I know about being a mastermind? My parents bought it for two minutes until they discovered it and yes, it was wrong of me to think that I didn't have to listen and tried to fool my parents but this gives you an idea about how long I've been like this. Don't get me wrong, if you just have a conversation with me and we have a healthy discussion I will listen to what you have to say. What I don't respond well to is comments like, "You should NOT be playing that game because of this, that, or the other thing." Ultimately I like to decide and think for myself and I think everyone should be able to decide for themselves whether or not they want to play a game, read a book, or see a movie.

While playing Witcher 3 two things came up about this which were I should not play the game because there are no people of color in it and that it was sexist to women. I honestly did not know there was a huge hullabaloo about these things when the game was first released because honestly I get busy with things going on in my life and I tend to just choose games that pique my interest. I thought the game looked interesting, so I bought it. That's really all there was to it.


As for the second aspect regarding the game being sexist towards women, I just find myself wondering where this comes from. There are several, I repeat, several strong female characters in the lore of Witcher and in the game. How is any of it sexist towards women? Look, I understand not liking all the boobies in the brothels and the sexual scenes in the game. It's not for everyone and some folks are just not down for it. It never bothered me and some of those sex scenes have some amusing humor in them. The argument that Geralt feels no emotions so it's sexist towards women is utter crap. If a person takes the time to actually read any of the books, read the lore, or actually tried to play the game they would know that Geralt can not express emotions on his face because of all the mutations that Witchers go through. Geralt actually feels very deeply especially when it comes to people like Yennefer who is his true love, Ciri who is like a daughter to him, and of course Vesemir who is a mentor/father figure to him. The fact that he can't physically express those emotions due to him essentially being a mutant shouldn't count against him.

The issues with things like Ciri being called a bitch by men or Yennefer being called a whore; those are things that happen in the real world and they sure as hell happened way too often throughout history. Part of the storytelling of many artistic things is that it finds a creative way to discuss real world issues and inform you hey, this kind of thing happens open your eyes. The part I loved is that these women did not need saving. They handled it themselves. The man who called Ciri a bitch? She broke his nose and she stuck up for herself. Yennefer handled the man who called her a whore and she held her own very well. These are not wilting flowers. These are strong, intelligent, and brave women in the story and I was thrilled that a fantasy game had them. Honestly, as soon as I heard the sentence, "Feminist Frequency said..." I felt my eyes rolling because this is such a stretch. I'm not saying that they're not entitled to their opinion because they are, but I did not see any evidence of that in the game at all and I disagree.

Games are meant to be fun and for me Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt was so much fun and one of the best games I've ever played. The story, the open exploration, and the diverse characters were amazing and I enjoyed it immensely. Now, I'm going to play through again on new game plus because the completionist in me wants to get all the different endings and the game is worth playing multiple times if one wishes.
  
The Grimm Forest
The Grimm Forest
2018 | Fantasy
I am so psyched to be reviewing another board game based on fairytale lore. The Brothers Grimm material is such an enchanting (eh? eh?) theme and games can be taken in so many wonderful directions. Though I have never actually read any of the Grimm’s Fairy Tales (I know, I know), I have seen most of the movies based on the stories. I also know that the source material happens to be way darker than what Disney puts out, so when I heard we would be receiving The Grimm Forest to review, and not having really researched it much beforehand, I had a feeling it would be darker fare. But how dark does it go? Let’s find out.

The Grimm Forest is a simultaneous action selection, set collection, take that game for four family members of the infamous Three Little Pigs. As fantasy contractors players are tasked with constructing three houses as sturdy and quickly as they can. However, these contractors will have competition for limited resources, as well as the occasional interference from scary creatures and buddies of opponents. Like the baseball movie says, “If you build it, you will win the contract to build more stuff.” Or something like that.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, place the Location boards on the table for the Fields, Forest, and Brickyard (for a three-player game, as below). The First Builder Bonus tokens are placed below the matching Locations as well as the resources that can be harvested. One of each Mega Resource (5 Straw, 4 Wood, 3 Brick) are placed on the matching Location at the beginning of each round. The Friend and Fable decks are shuffled and placed nearby, as are the House sections (Floors, Walls, Roofs – Rooves?), and the Monster minis. Each player chooses a color and collects the Player board, Pig mini, and Gather cards matching that color. The first player is given the Starting Player tome token and the game may now begin!
The Grimm Forest is played over a series of rounds with each pig having a multi-step turn. Initially, however, the pigs will be deciding from which Location they would like to harvest resources by laying the corresponding Gather card from their hand to the table face-down. Once all pigs have laid their card, the Gather cards are flipped and revealed simultaneously. If any pig had chosen to also play one Fable card it would have been revealed and possibly resolved prior to this step. Players will place their Pig mini on the Location board they chose and then harvesting of resources may begin, unless a player has a Fable card that resolves at this point in the turn. If a Pig is alone in a Location they receive all resources currently found there. If Pigs share a Location then the shared minis will share the resources equally, keeping any remaining resources on the Location for the next round. If any player used a Fable card that activates at the end of the Gather phase, it is resolved now.

After the Gather phase, the Pigs will be able to take actions. On their turn, in turn order, each Pig may choose to perform two of the following actions in any order they wish (actions may be repeated except for Friend Special Actions): Draw a Fable card, Gain 1 Resource, Build, Special Actions. Drawing a Fable card is self-explanatory and players will keep their Fable cards secret from the other players. They may choose to play one of these Fable cards during the choosing of Gather cards portion of the beginning phase of a turn. A Pig may instead wish to gain one resource of their choosing and add it to their collection. As mentioned earlier, a Pig may also use their active Friend card’s (which is earned by building a Wall section) Special Action once per turn, should they have collected one earlier.

The true hero of The Grimm Forest is the Build action as this is what propels players to victory. Pigs may Build any house type they wish, as long as that type is not currently under construction elsewhere on their board. Also note that houses must be built from the ground up so Floors must be present before Walls can be built and Walls need to be constructed in order to hold up a Roof. Pigs may build these sections of houses by discarding the appropriate number and type of resources they have gathered previously: two resources for a Floor, four resources for Walls, and six resources for a Roof. Once a Pig completes construction of the first house of a type they will grab the matching First Builder Bonus token and reap its rewards.


The game continues in this fashion until one player has built three houses of any type, or multiple players have completed their three houses by the end of the round. Those tied players then check for sturdiness to break their tie: brick houses are sturdier than wood, which are sturdier than straw. The winner is the player with the sturdiest collection of houses, and then all players are invited to share a plate of bacon in celebration of the win (not in the rules, but I added that for… flavor).
Components. This game is chocked full of killer components. I do not oftentimes compliment boxes and inserts, but when a game comes with GameTrayz already, you know that the publisher cared a ton about the game. Everything sets up and tears down so much nicer and quicker with a GameTrayz insert that I wish every game would come with them. Yeah, I know, $$$. Outside of the insert (or inside?) the other components in the game are simply stellar. Everything from the card backs resembling book covers, the incredible plastic house pieces, and amazing minis, just makes this one sing when on the table. The art is done by the incredible Mr. Cuddington, and they are quickly becoming some of my favorite board game artists.

Wait, there are monster minis? But I didn’t talk about that in my overview. Well, yes, that’s correct. These monsters come into play from certain Fable cards, and when they are played it instructs the player to introduce the appropriate monster mini on the playing area. This can be done with such dramatic flair that you truly get a sense of dread that little piggies may feel. If you have seen Stranger Things (not a sponsor) and remember the part when the Demogorgon mini hits the table, then you understand how I introduce my monster minis. These monsters wreak havoc on the players and sometimes deny them resources, and other chaos to mess with pigs.

Overall, I am so enamored with this game. It has nearly everything I love about games. It has amazing theme and art. That is always big with me. The components are super high quality, as all Druid City Games/Skybound Games usually are, and the game is so smooth once it is learned. All phases and turn components work together well, and there are plenty of choices each player makes every round. The game comes with advanced rules and components as well once all players are comfortable with the base game, and I love when games come with that added complexity and difficulty.

I have nothing bad to say about this game at all, which makes me sad, because I can usually find something to improve with every game I play. Okay wait, I just thought of one: I appreciate that the player colors include both orange and purple, but then the others are blue and green. I think the player colors could have come with some different choices as I feel blue, green, and purple are within similar color bands. Maybe pink and aqua would be better choices for my taste? I don’t know, and I am sure research was done to decide on the player colors, but like I said, I needed to find SOMETHING to complain about.

So it is certainly no surprise that I love this game and rated so highly. I doubt it will ever truly break into my Top 10, but I feel it ticks all of my boxes for a great game and a 6 from me. Purple Phoenix Games as a whole gives this one a porky 15 / 18. If you are looking for a great game that is admittedly lighter, but gives great gameplay throughout, features incredible art and components, and offers opportunities for role-play then you definitely need to grab a copy of The Grimm Forest. I will be recommending this to so many gamers in the future, and I will be pushing the floor of the age suggestion on the box once my son decides he wants to learn to read. I think I am going to go try out the Advanced rules now, and remember: don’t eat an apple that a scary person gave you at the door.