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Tim McGuire (301 KP) rated Gretel & Hansel (2020) in Movies
Mar 3, 2020
Grim not Grimm
396. Gretel & Hansel. Do you remember the tale of Hansel and Gretel by the the Grimm Brothers? Well throw it away, because it's 2020 and Girls Rule so Gretel's name is first! Hell, Hansel didn't even make the movie poster! And maybe because its her fault for getting kicked out of their mother's house for not getting a damn job cause times are tough, so get out, and take your brother with you. Thanks mom! At this point, it seems instead of going towards civilization they go further into the woods, tripping on shrooms at one point. After walking for a bit, hunger kicks in, so they break into a house, nice, cause there's a table with a bunch of food to be seen. They get busted of course by the owner, Holda, who takes pity on them and invites them in and feeds em. Too fatten em up to eat them right? Like I said this is 2020, not 1812!! This time Gretel learns the ways of the witch, there's creepy figures in black roaming the woods at night Hansel learns to chop down trees, he's in a trance, whats going on?? In the end, I think it's an arthouse movie about a young girl coming of age, equipped with first period and all, shot like those old Christopher Lee horror movies of the 70's. Also suffers from the Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves curse, everyone has the same accent, except the freaking star of the movie Gretel! HaHa! Filmbufftim on FB
LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) in Movies
Jul 4, 2021
That final trap is as heart-stopping and clever a piece of political commentary that's been put into any horror film this decade thus far - but the rest (I'm immeasurably disappointed to report) is a bland, run-of-the-mill police procedural which only occasionally resembles a 𝘚𝘢𝘸 movie. Don't know whose idea it was to have less gore and crappier traps but fire them immediately. I think outside of that grievous oversight the other major problem is that this tries to be both a Saw movie as well as a modern movie - way less of the 2000s scary crackhead camerawork + editing, much fewer unnerving layers of overexposed shots, and now a clean frame replaces what was once a grimy sheen of iconic dilapidation. If you want this franchise to stay ahead of the pack in a day in age where even the cheapest indie flicks can have solid gore, you can't be this polished. No cutting away from the action right as it happens, and don't be afraid to cling onto what worked during its inception just because the passage of time may have left those trends behind - with this kind of cleanliness it's too easy to see the inherent seams of these things. Also you'd have to be an idiot not to see this 'twist' coming from a mile away. But Chris Rock is awesome in the last 20 minutes when he's snapping at everybody. Without a shadow of a doubt the worst film in the series.
Andrew Thomas (363 KP) rated Santa's Slay (2004) in Movies
Aug 12, 2020 (Updated Aug 14, 2020)
Santa Claus is a slasher villain...nuff said!
Contains spoilers, click to show
Santa's Slay was a direct to video selection on the shelf at my local video store that I normally would have walked right by...yet I was compelled to check it out. I was expecting it to be terrible, but it turned out to be in the category of "so bad but fun"
First you have wrestler Bill Goldberg as Santa and oddly enough...he's perfect in this particular interpretation of the character. He plays Santa as an unrepentant badass who loves death and destruction...and he does it with such relish.
Second, while this particular approach to making an evil version of Santa Claus is pretty silly, it is an interesting backstory nonetheless and they give the obligatory exposition scene a touch of nostalgia by using stop motion animation that's on par with holiday classics like Santa Claus is Coming to Town or Frosty the Snowman.
Third, the wholesale carnage that Santa perpetrates is nothing if inventive. In the opening scene he completely annihilates an entire family of aholes...using everything on the dinner table. Not even the local strip club is safe from Santa's wrath as he turns a stripper pole into a weapon.
Santa's Slay is not the kind of movie you watch for an engaging story or great acting. It's a movie that you can laugh at and forget your worries for an hour or so.
First you have wrestler Bill Goldberg as Santa and oddly enough...he's perfect in this particular interpretation of the character. He plays Santa as an unrepentant badass who loves death and destruction...and he does it with such relish.
Second, while this particular approach to making an evil version of Santa Claus is pretty silly, it is an interesting backstory nonetheless and they give the obligatory exposition scene a touch of nostalgia by using stop motion animation that's on par with holiday classics like Santa Claus is Coming to Town or Frosty the Snowman.
Third, the wholesale carnage that Santa perpetrates is nothing if inventive. In the opening scene he completely annihilates an entire family of aholes...using everything on the dinner table. Not even the local strip club is safe from Santa's wrath as he turns a stripper pole into a weapon.
Santa's Slay is not the kind of movie you watch for an engaging story or great acting. It's a movie that you can laugh at and forget your worries for an hour or so.
Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Better Watch Out (2016) in Movies
Sep 25, 2019
A Christmas film... a horror film... also described as a comedy and a thriller on IMDb, although I find both of those a little inaccurate. If you asked me to sum up the genre I'd say "it's a Christmas horror..?" and then scrunch up my face in uncertain disgust.
It's difficult to sum this one up without exposing the end of the movie. I would like everyone to have the same confused experience watching this as I did.
I sat down at home to this DVD. I'd excitedly purchased this when I found out about it. With the tagline of "you might be home but you're not alone" you know exactly what you're getting. Or at least that's what you think. Everything promises to make this Home Alone for adults... Home Alone is for adults too of course. No one should deprive themselves of that Christmas wonder.
Not going to lie, when I saw Patrick Warburton pop up on screen it was like a Christmas miracle. I love him. He can do no wrong, and thankfully he didn't disappoint.
Olivia DeJonge made a great job of the role of Ashley. It felt like the serious sort of acting that the film needed to make it a horror film and not more of a comedy. Alongside Levi Miller as Luke we were given an interesting, if awkward on screen leading pair. Miller didn't quite hit the same notes for me as DeJonge did. I think that is more to do with the way the character is written than the acting, as he certainly puts everything into his scenes.
So... I sat down (I know, that was a way back now!) with my pad and pen waiting to jot some notes as I watched. I made a few scribblngs every now and then... until it happened... and you'll know it when it does. At that point I threw my pen across the room and told the film to f*** off.
The first part of the film had so much potential and I was really enjoying it but after "the moment" I just lost all interest in the way they'd taken it. I really wanted a more serious horror film than the unbelieveable thing that was given to us. What we were left with was cringeworthy and uncomfortable to watch, but I will give it credit for its Home Alone moments.
I really would like to know what you guys thought of the end of this film if you saw it.
Being that I was at home watching this on DVD that meant that I got some extras, well, extra. Singular. The fairly subtantial "making of" featurette was quite interesting and reveals just how hardcore DeJonge is when it came to this film.
What you should do
It's potentially drinking game material, but it definitely won't be making it into my Christmas movie rotation.
Movie thing you wish you could take home
Without a doubt I would like Patrick Warburton please. If he could be delivered to me in a Christmas tie, even better.
It's difficult to sum this one up without exposing the end of the movie. I would like everyone to have the same confused experience watching this as I did.
I sat down at home to this DVD. I'd excitedly purchased this when I found out about it. With the tagline of "you might be home but you're not alone" you know exactly what you're getting. Or at least that's what you think. Everything promises to make this Home Alone for adults... Home Alone is for adults too of course. No one should deprive themselves of that Christmas wonder.
Not going to lie, when I saw Patrick Warburton pop up on screen it was like a Christmas miracle. I love him. He can do no wrong, and thankfully he didn't disappoint.
Olivia DeJonge made a great job of the role of Ashley. It felt like the serious sort of acting that the film needed to make it a horror film and not more of a comedy. Alongside Levi Miller as Luke we were given an interesting, if awkward on screen leading pair. Miller didn't quite hit the same notes for me as DeJonge did. I think that is more to do with the way the character is written than the acting, as he certainly puts everything into his scenes.
So... I sat down (I know, that was a way back now!) with my pad and pen waiting to jot some notes as I watched. I made a few scribblngs every now and then... until it happened... and you'll know it when it does. At that point I threw my pen across the room and told the film to f*** off.
The first part of the film had so much potential and I was really enjoying it but after "the moment" I just lost all interest in the way they'd taken it. I really wanted a more serious horror film than the unbelieveable thing that was given to us. What we were left with was cringeworthy and uncomfortable to watch, but I will give it credit for its Home Alone moments.
I really would like to know what you guys thought of the end of this film if you saw it.
Being that I was at home watching this on DVD that meant that I got some extras, well, extra. Singular. The fairly subtantial "making of" featurette was quite interesting and reveals just how hardcore DeJonge is when it came to this film.
What you should do
It's potentially drinking game material, but it definitely won't be making it into my Christmas movie rotation.
Movie thing you wish you could take home
Without a doubt I would like Patrick Warburton please. If he could be delivered to me in a Christmas tie, even better.
Leigh J (71 KP) rated From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) in Movies
Nov 13, 2019
Bloody Brilliant!
Seth and Richie Gecko are criminals who have escaped Prison and are on the run. They are staying in a Hotel trying to think of a way to get into Mexico, where a criminal friend is waiting for them at a Bar, and from there they are starting a new life. At the Hotel there is a Pastor and his Son and Daughter who have arrived in a Mobile Home; Seth sees this and holds the family hostage until he's met with his friend at the Bar over the border. They just manage by the skin of their teeth to get past the Mexican border and are onward to the Bar... which turns out to be a sleazy Biker Bar called the Titty Twister. When they get into the Titty Twister; the Gecko Brothers love this place, full of fighting, Tequila and topless dancing women. But when a violent and bloody confrontation between the Gecko Brothers and the Titty Twister Security happens, the many members of Staff show their true colours... and it means the Brothers and his hostages are going to have to fight for their lives the whole night.
I LOVE From Dusk Till Dawn. I've seen it so many times now and I think it's amazing everytime. Robert Rodriguez has given a unique lease of life to Horror and teamed it with quite the "Cops 'N' Robbers" storyline. It's an extremely visual movie; especially when you get into the Titty Twister and all the chaos happens, and speaking of that, I love how chaotic it is in the Titty Twister. It seems like there's always something happening and there's little background details that you pick up everytime you watch it. It's a wonderful, wonderful Horror Movie and I will definitely be watching it again and again. Bloodcurlingly awesome!!
I LOVE From Dusk Till Dawn. I've seen it so many times now and I think it's amazing everytime. Robert Rodriguez has given a unique lease of life to Horror and teamed it with quite the "Cops 'N' Robbers" storyline. It's an extremely visual movie; especially when you get into the Titty Twister and all the chaos happens, and speaking of that, I love how chaotic it is in the Titty Twister. It seems like there's always something happening and there's little background details that you pick up everytime you watch it. It's a wonderful, wonderful Horror Movie and I will definitely be watching it again and again. Bloodcurlingly awesome!!
Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated Black Christmas (1974) in Movies
Dec 11, 2019
Answer The Phone
With anethor remake coming out this friday, and that i already reviewed the 2006 remake. In going back to the oringal, were it alll started from. So lets take a little trip back to 1974.
Inspired by the urban legend "The babysitter and the man upstairs" and a series of murders that took place in the Westmount section of Montreal, Quebec, Moore wrote the screenplay under the title Stop Me.
The Plot: As winter break begins, a group of sorority sisters, including Jess (Olivia Hussey) and the often inebriated Barb (Margot Kidder), begin to receive anonymous, lascivious phone calls. Initially, Barb eggs the caller on, but stops when he responds threateningly. Soon, Barb's friend Claire (Lynne Griffin) goes missing from the sorority house, and a local adolescent girl is murdered, leading the girls to suspect a serial killer is on the loose. But no one realizes just how near the culprit is.
Margot Kidder remembered shooting the film as being "fun. I really bonded with Andrea Martin, filming in Toronto and Ontario. Olivia Hussey was a bit of an odd one. She was obsessed with the idea of falling in love with Paul McCartney through her psychic. We were a little hard on her for things like that.
Black Christmas eventually gained a cult following and is notable for being one of the earliest slasher films. It went on to inspire other slasher films, the biggest one of all being John Carpenter's Halloween (which was apparently inspired by Clark suggesting what a Black Christmas sequel would be like).
Black Christmas has been included multiple lists in various media outlets as one of the greatest horror films ever made. The film ranked No. 87 on Bravo's The 100 Scariest Movie Moments.
A overall classic slasher horror movie based around a hoilday.
Inspired by the urban legend "The babysitter and the man upstairs" and a series of murders that took place in the Westmount section of Montreal, Quebec, Moore wrote the screenplay under the title Stop Me.
The Plot: As winter break begins, a group of sorority sisters, including Jess (Olivia Hussey) and the often inebriated Barb (Margot Kidder), begin to receive anonymous, lascivious phone calls. Initially, Barb eggs the caller on, but stops when he responds threateningly. Soon, Barb's friend Claire (Lynne Griffin) goes missing from the sorority house, and a local adolescent girl is murdered, leading the girls to suspect a serial killer is on the loose. But no one realizes just how near the culprit is.
Margot Kidder remembered shooting the film as being "fun. I really bonded with Andrea Martin, filming in Toronto and Ontario. Olivia Hussey was a bit of an odd one. She was obsessed with the idea of falling in love with Paul McCartney through her psychic. We were a little hard on her for things like that.
Black Christmas eventually gained a cult following and is notable for being one of the earliest slasher films. It went on to inspire other slasher films, the biggest one of all being John Carpenter's Halloween (which was apparently inspired by Clark suggesting what a Black Christmas sequel would be like).
Black Christmas has been included multiple lists in various media outlets as one of the greatest horror films ever made. The film ranked No. 87 on Bravo's The 100 Scariest Movie Moments.
A overall classic slasher horror movie based around a hoilday.
LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated A Quiet Place: Part II (2021) in Movies
Jul 4, 2021
Y'all get scared too easily lmao. Let's not act like the first one was a genius piece of filmmaking or anything - it just had a solid premise you could wring a metric ton of mileage out of and wasn't afraid to provide lots of fun, goofy, intense thrills in an age of comically over-serious pity parties saturating the horror movie market. I really enjoyed it, but with its sequel the switch from horror/thriller to drama/thriller really took a toll imo. Because what made these work was never the characters, of which I honestly couldn't tell you a single name of nor more than one defining personality trait now two entries later - it was the gimmick, carried so efficiently by the marvelous performances at the forefront. Here the acting still rips (except for Blunt, who along with her character seems totally lost with nothing to do rather than just kind of awkwardly wing it) but the gimmick seems to just try and retrace the steps of the first movie while adding in a deathly simplistic, extraneous story since this one has no real clue what to do with itself... for some reason. And maybe it's just me but this one also looks so much worse. That all being said, this works best when it depicts moments of peace and/or normalcy being immediately brutalized by swift, sweeping violence - it knows exactly how to play them, that shit is *awesome*. Both times it lets these (admittedly kind of lamely designed) creatures wreak havoc on unsuspecting, populated areas it's a total riot. Also features a pretty neat three-way thriller sequence in the middle that's decently cool, too. A perfectly serviceable distraction.
LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Hereditary (2018) in Movies
Oct 25, 2020
As a person who watches a respectable chunk of horror, it's not often that a genre film comes along that manages to get under my skin, something that Hereditary definitely does.
The first full length feature by Ari Aster is many things - it's heart wrenching, it's unsettling, definitely disturbing, frequently terrifying, but also carries a weight of beauty. It's wonderfully realised - Aster has a keen eye for striking visuals, something he proved doubly with Midsommar, and Hereditary boasts a brag worthy amount of fantastic shots and clever edits. A lot of the tracking shots centred around the characters add to the uneasiness, and has you constantly scanning the frame for something hidden away, leering at the viewer from the darkness. (A few shots legit just make me want to watch something else)
There are multiple moments that gave me chills, and a lovely fear-soaked amount of visual cues that will stick with me for some time. The whole atmosphere of Hereditary is unpleasant, quite sinister, and brimming with emotion.
The whole cast are great without a doubt, but Toni Collette is the true star. She's an absolute powerhouse throughout this movie, and is arguably her best performance ever put to screen. Her portrayal of the sheer trauma she experiences is harrowing at times, managing to give us a hugely sympathetic and human character (whilst occasionally being nightmare fuel herself)
That's a good word to use actually - Hereditary feels like a nightmare put onto screen. The whole movie is dripping with tension, and never lets up on making the viewer feel uncomfortable. Ari Aster will surely play a huge part in the future of the genre. Not only is Hereditary a masterclass in modern horror, but it's a genuinely fantastic cinematic experience, which I would consider essential viewing.
The first full length feature by Ari Aster is many things - it's heart wrenching, it's unsettling, definitely disturbing, frequently terrifying, but also carries a weight of beauty. It's wonderfully realised - Aster has a keen eye for striking visuals, something he proved doubly with Midsommar, and Hereditary boasts a brag worthy amount of fantastic shots and clever edits. A lot of the tracking shots centred around the characters add to the uneasiness, and has you constantly scanning the frame for something hidden away, leering at the viewer from the darkness. (A few shots legit just make me want to watch something else)
There are multiple moments that gave me chills, and a lovely fear-soaked amount of visual cues that will stick with me for some time. The whole atmosphere of Hereditary is unpleasant, quite sinister, and brimming with emotion.
The whole cast are great without a doubt, but Toni Collette is the true star. She's an absolute powerhouse throughout this movie, and is arguably her best performance ever put to screen. Her portrayal of the sheer trauma she experiences is harrowing at times, managing to give us a hugely sympathetic and human character (whilst occasionally being nightmare fuel herself)
That's a good word to use actually - Hereditary feels like a nightmare put onto screen. The whole movie is dripping with tension, and never lets up on making the viewer feel uncomfortable. Ari Aster will surely play a huge part in the future of the genre. Not only is Hereditary a masterclass in modern horror, but it's a genuinely fantastic cinematic experience, which I would consider essential viewing.
Scott Tostik (389 KP) rated Halloween (2018) in Movies
Nov 2, 2018
.....Fuckin comedians
Michael Myers is back.... And this is supposed to be what actually happened... 40 years later???
I'm sorry if any of you disagree with me... But this movie blew....
Don't get le wrong. I love the fact that Jamie Lee is back and more of a badass than i wpuld have ever expected.
But come on...
Denying the fact that almost 40 years worth of mythology happened... Thats a hard sell. Let's do some math as well.
You expect me to believe that Michael is wandering around at 61 years old, after being locked up for 40 years... And he's picking up 200 pound men one handed and crushing their windpipes???
I love the Halloween series of films. Even the Rov Zombie offerings... I love the fact that Rob gave us a back story. You found out why Michael was the way he was...
But this??? This was nothing more than two morons... And yes, I think Danny McBride is an idiot. And he should stick to Vice Principals and Eastbound and Down. And stay the fuck away from horror films.
He should've taken a hint from his lackluster and shitty preformance in Alien Covenant... And leave horror to the pros.
I'm sorry but the only person who should've carried on this franchise was John Carpenter himself... But even he knows that you shouldn't dip your pen in the company ink too many times.
Ignoring the mythology of the films and expecting die hard fans to believe that characters like Jamie Lloyd and Tommy Doyle didn't exist in the history is ludicrous.
Some people enjoyed the sequels and some people didnt. But expecting us to forget forty years of horror history???
Not on your life, comedian.
I'm sorry if any of you disagree with me... But this movie blew....
Don't get le wrong. I love the fact that Jamie Lee is back and more of a badass than i wpuld have ever expected.
But come on...
Denying the fact that almost 40 years worth of mythology happened... Thats a hard sell. Let's do some math as well.
You expect me to believe that Michael is wandering around at 61 years old, after being locked up for 40 years... And he's picking up 200 pound men one handed and crushing their windpipes???
I love the Halloween series of films. Even the Rov Zombie offerings... I love the fact that Rob gave us a back story. You found out why Michael was the way he was...
But this??? This was nothing more than two morons... And yes, I think Danny McBride is an idiot. And he should stick to Vice Principals and Eastbound and Down. And stay the fuck away from horror films.
He should've taken a hint from his lackluster and shitty preformance in Alien Covenant... And leave horror to the pros.
I'm sorry but the only person who should've carried on this franchise was John Carpenter himself... But even he knows that you shouldn't dip your pen in the company ink too many times.
Ignoring the mythology of the films and expecting die hard fans to believe that characters like Jamie Lloyd and Tommy Doyle didn't exist in the history is ludicrous.
Some people enjoyed the sequels and some people didnt. But expecting us to forget forty years of horror history???
Not on your life, comedian.
LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Lifeforce (1985) in Movies
Oct 22, 2020
Fun fact - this is the second film I've seen where a female character uses Patrick Stewart's body to communicate with someone. Maybe this is some kind of niche sub-genre I'm just discovering...
Lifeforce is a film of three parts - it's one part sci-fi, one part British thriller, and one part ridiculous end-of-the-world horror, in that precise order.
The sci-fi part is decent enough, where a space crew discovers a strange object near Halley's comet, and further inspection reveals giant bats and sleeping naked humans in crystal coffins that turn out to weird space vampires (so on board with this ridiculous plot). It has a great aesthetic and some good special effects (keeping in mind this movie came out in 1985). The puppetry when some of the space-vampire victims come back to life is awesome.
Then the film shifts to Colonels Caine (Peter Firth) and Carlsen (Steve Railsback) as they track down one of the escaped aliens through London, whilst it kills and shapeshifts to it's hearts content.
This portion is slower, but Lifeforce has an engaging screenplay, and boasts a cast good enough to keep things entertaing. Patrick Stewart, Frank Finlay, Mathilda May, and John Hallam amongst others provide a solid ensemble that ensures the film doesn't fall into silly territory.
Everything leads up to the absurd finale however. London is completely aflame, hordes of vampire zombie things flood the street, there are bodies everywhere, shit is blowing up, vampire aliens are being vanquished with giant swords, people are being thrown out of helicopters - Tobe Hooper doesn't fuck about with this kind of stuff, and Lifeforce has a final sequence that puts a lot of other horror films to shame, and looks fantastic. It's glorious - This sci-fi-horror gem is well worth checking out.
Lifeforce is a film of three parts - it's one part sci-fi, one part British thriller, and one part ridiculous end-of-the-world horror, in that precise order.
The sci-fi part is decent enough, where a space crew discovers a strange object near Halley's comet, and further inspection reveals giant bats and sleeping naked humans in crystal coffins that turn out to weird space vampires (so on board with this ridiculous plot). It has a great aesthetic and some good special effects (keeping in mind this movie came out in 1985). The puppetry when some of the space-vampire victims come back to life is awesome.
Then the film shifts to Colonels Caine (Peter Firth) and Carlsen (Steve Railsback) as they track down one of the escaped aliens through London, whilst it kills and shapeshifts to it's hearts content.
This portion is slower, but Lifeforce has an engaging screenplay, and boasts a cast good enough to keep things entertaing. Patrick Stewart, Frank Finlay, Mathilda May, and John Hallam amongst others provide a solid ensemble that ensures the film doesn't fall into silly territory.
Everything leads up to the absurd finale however. London is completely aflame, hordes of vampire zombie things flood the street, there are bodies everywhere, shit is blowing up, vampire aliens are being vanquished with giant swords, people are being thrown out of helicopters - Tobe Hooper doesn't fuck about with this kind of stuff, and Lifeforce has a final sequence that puts a lot of other horror films to shame, and looks fantastic. It's glorious - This sci-fi-horror gem is well worth checking out.