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Cozy Up to Blood
Cozy Up to Blood
Colin Conway | 2020 | Mystery
5
5.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Hiding Out on an Island with…Vampires?
Murray Lee has wandered onto the island of Belfry off the coast of Oregon just as the rains wash away the bridge connecting it to the mainland. He’s just in time for the annual festival dedicated to the movies in the Evenfall series, a popular vampire themed series of books and movies which were filmed on the island. This means there are plenty of outsiders posing as vampires around town. Someone is taking advantage of the crowds by attacking some of the locals, stealing from them, and biting their necks. The local police think that Murray is a good suspect since he is new to town but obviously not part of the Evenfall crowd. But Murray doesn’t want the police looking into him or his past. He has a secret. And it might have something to do with the motorcycle gang sitting on the other side of the bridge waiting for the water to recede. Can he clear his name without revealing his past? Will he even get off the island alive?

There is a part of me that enjoyed the book despite the flaws. I do enjoy Murray’s character, and I want to see him succeed and be happy. The Evenfall books and movies, clearly a spoof on Twilight, were always funny when they were the focus of the story. And yet, the mystery of the book was weak, almost more a sub-plot in the middle of everything else. I’ve always struggled a bit with the overall premise of the series, but this time, it was extremely unbelievable. I am still hoping we get another book, especially since the ending set up another adventure. If you are interested in the series, I suggest you wait until you can get them cheaply.
  
The Wicker Man (1973)
The Wicker Man (1973)
1973 | Horror, Mystery
Acting, scenery, script. That song about the corn and barley? Meh (0 more)
Not bad, but unexpected nudity. I must have missed the warning. (0 more)
Something Wicker This Way Comes
Contains spoilers, click to show
Forgive me, Father, for I am about to spoil this whole film. I am a novice film reviewer, and as such, I know no other way.

This film opens up with a police officer (Sergeant Howie) flying to an island in Scotland. I knew something was up when the older gentlemen in the harbor refused to send a dinghy for him to get onto the island. The older men seemed to be in on some kind of joke. As my teenager would say, “Very sus.”

The rather uppity lawman, portrayed quite convincingly by Edward Woodward, is searching for a girl on the island. The girl, Rowan Morrison, was reported missing by way of an anonymous letter sent to the mainland.

We are then introduced to the woman who is allegedly the missing girl’s mother. She runs the most unsettling candy shop ever. There are a lot of chocolate bunnies, which I am normally all in favor of. But she corrects the officer when he refers to them as bunnies. They are rabbits, of course. Because that increases the creepiness factor by ten.

Howie’s lodging is above a righteously rollicking pub. The locals sing and play about in the pub, and all seems normal.

Forward to the next scene. Holy unexpected nudity, Batman. I am glad my son chose to stay in his room and play Roblox. There are a bunch of naked locals openly copulating in and around the churchyard. Of course, it is later explained that it is not a churchyard, because poor, very stodgy, very Puritan Sergeant Howie has stumbled upon an island of RECKLESS HEATHEN PAGANS.

The lovely Britt Ekland portrays Willow, the barmaid. In a scene early on, she does a ritualistic dance in the nude, in the room next to the very tempted police officer. My boyfriend correctly observed that Howie should stay away from this woman, as she is clearly a siren. Her dance moves were odd to me, and at one point, I asked aloud, “What is she doing?” My boyfriend responded, “She’s twerking.”

The plot thickens like a good rabbit stew. Christopher Lee aptly portrays Lord Summerisle, the leader of the island. Summerisle makes some strange claims about the island, and says the women there get pregnant asexually by way of a ritual. This claim seems counterintuitive, since there seemed to be a lot of unprotected boinking going on by various members of the island, in the open air no less. But hey, maybe these adulterated pagans missed the lecture on the birds and the bees.

As a heathen myself, I didn’t find this movie too horrific until it neared the end. I was more focused on Sergeant Howie’s unwillingness to entertain a faith other than his own. The scenery was breathtaking, as it was filmed entirely on location in Scotland.

I’m not really going to spoil every detail of the ending. But I must observe that this is the strangest version of The 40-Year-Old Virgin I have ever seen.
  
AW
A Wanted Woman
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
How many female assassin's have you come across in your lifetime. Probably not too many. And that is exactly what the Barbarians are expecting when they send MX-401 out in the field. The woman with a thousand faces. Beautiful enough to entice any man, but dangerous enough to handle herself. When MX-401 aka. Goldilocks Reaper is sent to Trinidad on a mission, she is forced to improvise, due to false intel. Unfortunately, this makes her targets and her bosses very upset. Sent to the island of Barbados to escape Trinidad, she is trapped on this island with no way out. Her company isn't paying her and the LKs from Trinidad are hunting her down. Will she make it out of Barbados? A gripping novel, that will leave you wanting to be a female assassin.
  
Jaws (1975)
Jaws (1975)
1975 | Thriller
EPIC
Best Shark Movie Ever

Aminity Island which is a small island getaway is approching it's speak visitor month which is july get visited by a Great White Shark that starts picking off swimmers one by one. The chief enlists the help of a Marine Biologist and gets the local Top fish killer involved in going to take out the shark. They end up on a wild boat ride trying to kill one of the earth longest living eating machines that is not willing to just roll over and die.


Roy Schider, Richard Dryfus and Robert Shaw give an amazing performance in this suspenseful ocean tale.


One great piece of movie history from this movie is that the line "You're gonna need a bigger boat" was improvised and done on the first take. It is part of AFI's 100 greatest quotes.
  
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Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated The Lighthouse (2019) in Movies

Aug 31, 2020 (Updated Aug 31, 2020)  
The Lighthouse (2019)
The Lighthouse (2019)
2019 | Drama, Horror
The Definition of Insanity
The Lighthouse- is a psychological twisted film. What is one's sanity? How far can one's sanity go? How long can you stand one's sanity? All those questions and more, the Lighthouse is one twisted movie that will leave you questioning your own sanity. If you were stuck on a island inside a lighthouse with one person, would you trust that person? Whould you two start to go insane? I just love the concept and both Robert Pattinson and Willem Dafoe do a excellent job.

The Plot: Two lighthouse keepers try to maintain their sanity while living on a remote and mysterious New England island in the 1890s.

The film was shot in black-and-white with a nearly square 1.19:1 aspect ratio. Which makes it more intresting.

The Lighthouse is a must see horror film.