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Rache (174 KP) rated The Happytime Murders (2017) in Movies
Jan 6, 2019
Funny (1 more)
Inappropriate
Nearly But Not Quite
Contains spoilers, click to show
Starting with the introduction of a puppet private detective, this is intended to be a gritty, noir, detective story with the added twist of Jim Henson puppets as characters. While film technology has vastly improved since such films as Cool World, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit, puppet technology hasn't really changed, so the puppets all have overtones of The Muppets and Sesame Street.
Despite the humour inherent in puppet characters, and the use of puppets as an analogue for minority populations (up to and including a puppet who has been 'humanised'), it's neither funny enough nor enough of a social commentary to fit into one of those two dichotomous genres.
Noir comedy, carpet-bombed with dick jokes, riddled with puppet humour, and boiling with 'social commentary', this film doesn't really land in a single genre, and the ones it tries to are too different to make a really good film. It turns out a bit like 'Muppets She Wrote' with added swearing and crudery.
Melissa Mccarthy plays the typical irreverent, foul-mouthed, stereotypical racist cop, and interacts really well with the puppets, but even all of her talent can't save this film.
It's funny (the puppet sex scene is just insane), carries some preachiness about racism (trying to decide how much 'puppet' makes someone a puppet based on a surgical implant), thoroughly irreverent (foul mouthed, 'drug' addled puppets), has an okay storyline (the twist is fairly well written), and concludes with the usual happy Muppets ending, but it feels like it's trying too hard to do too much. Perhaps, if it had tried to do less, it could have been a really good film.
All of that taken into account, it's not bad for something to watch for lighthearted fun, if you don't want to think too hard about it.
Despite the humour inherent in puppet characters, and the use of puppets as an analogue for minority populations (up to and including a puppet who has been 'humanised'), it's neither funny enough nor enough of a social commentary to fit into one of those two dichotomous genres.
Noir comedy, carpet-bombed with dick jokes, riddled with puppet humour, and boiling with 'social commentary', this film doesn't really land in a single genre, and the ones it tries to are too different to make a really good film. It turns out a bit like 'Muppets She Wrote' with added swearing and crudery.
Melissa Mccarthy plays the typical irreverent, foul-mouthed, stereotypical racist cop, and interacts really well with the puppets, but even all of her talent can't save this film.
It's funny (the puppet sex scene is just insane), carries some preachiness about racism (trying to decide how much 'puppet' makes someone a puppet based on a surgical implant), thoroughly irreverent (foul mouthed, 'drug' addled puppets), has an okay storyline (the twist is fairly well written), and concludes with the usual happy Muppets ending, but it feels like it's trying too hard to do too much. Perhaps, if it had tried to do less, it could have been a really good film.
All of that taken into account, it's not bad for something to watch for lighthearted fun, if you don't want to think too hard about it.
Gareth von Kallenbach (965 KP) rated The Happytime Murders (2017) in Movies
Jul 2, 2019
As a huge fan of Melissa McCarthy, I wasn’t about to miss out on one of her films involving puppets. Especially when said puppets and film were made by Jim Henson’s son Brian Henson. That being said, just remember that these puppets are absolutely 100% “No Sesame, All Street”. “From the studio formerly sued by Sesame Street” STX presents The Happytime Murders.
Private detective Phil Philipps (Bill Barretta) is a puppet and lives in a world where puppets coexist with but are otherwise hated by humans. After a series of murders including that of his brother it forces his ex-partner Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy) to help solve the crime. The murderer seems to be targeting all former cast members of the beloved eighties TV show The Happytime Gang. Two worlds clash as the race is on to find the culprit.
Honestly I feel as though I could do without seeing this film ever again. Yes there are funny moments but it seems overshadowed by the lack of a good storyline. Granted audiences might go just to see puppets act raunchy and use profanity however, is that enough to hold a film together for 90 mins? No it certainly isn’t. As much as I love the comedic stylings of Elizabeth Banks, Mya Rudolph, Joel McHale and especially Melissa McCarthy, the film audiences anticipate being the funniest of the year is surely not. Even with a big cast of comedians couldn’t save this film. Perhaps films involving puppets and ridiculous plots should be left to that of children audiences. If you were to stitch together all of the comical scenes in every trailer for the film, you would basically see it all. In my opinion you might want to skip this one and wait for it to come to a Redbox near you.
Private detective Phil Philipps (Bill Barretta) is a puppet and lives in a world where puppets coexist with but are otherwise hated by humans. After a series of murders including that of his brother it forces his ex-partner Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy) to help solve the crime. The murderer seems to be targeting all former cast members of the beloved eighties TV show The Happytime Gang. Two worlds clash as the race is on to find the culprit.
Honestly I feel as though I could do without seeing this film ever again. Yes there are funny moments but it seems overshadowed by the lack of a good storyline. Granted audiences might go just to see puppets act raunchy and use profanity however, is that enough to hold a film together for 90 mins? No it certainly isn’t. As much as I love the comedic stylings of Elizabeth Banks, Mya Rudolph, Joel McHale and especially Melissa McCarthy, the film audiences anticipate being the funniest of the year is surely not. Even with a big cast of comedians couldn’t save this film. Perhaps films involving puppets and ridiculous plots should be left to that of children audiences. If you were to stitch together all of the comical scenes in every trailer for the film, you would basically see it all. In my opinion you might want to skip this one and wait for it to come to a Redbox near you.
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Ronyell (38 KP) rated MirrorMask (2005) in Movies
Aug 4, 2020
The Mirror World of Weirdness
Now, I will admit that even though I have read many of Neil Gaiman's works, I had never heard of this movie before, until just recently and I must admit that I really enjoyed this movie a lot! What was the most interesting thing to me about this movie was that the drawings that Helena had drawn throughout the film was none other than Dave McKean's drawings, who was well known for doing a lot of the artwork for Neil Gaiman's books! I loved the way that the drawings provided a haunting and surreal atmosphere for the film as I found myself either being memorized by the imagery (the scenes with the City of Lights were beautiful) or being frightened by the imagery (the scenes with the sphinx cats really creep me out). I also loved the fact that this film is somewhat of a spiritual successor to "Labyrinth," another film from the Jim Henson Company, as both films dealt with the main character having problems with their families and once they enter another world, they have to save the people who resemble their family members from whatever dark force happens to come upon them. The actors and the actresses in this film were fantastic, with my favorite character being Valentine as he was played wonderfully by Jason Barry and he really brought so much humor to the film. I also loved Stephanie Leonidas' portrayal of Helena as she is shown to be a spunky girl who doesn't seem to be afraid of the frightening world she ends up in and it really makes me get into her character.
The only problem that I had with this film was that the story tend to get a little confusing at times to the point where I don't exactly know what is quite going on with the characters. Like for instance, the movie didn't really explain about what kind of condition Helena's mother had that caused her to go to the hospital in the first place and even though it wouldn't be a major part of the film, I still would like to know what kind of disease Helena's mother had that would be so dangerous to her health.
Overall, "Mirrormask" is a fantastic and surreal film that anyone who is a huge fan of Neil Gaiman's works or surreal movies in general will definitely enjoy for many years to come!
The only problem that I had with this film was that the story tend to get a little confusing at times to the point where I don't exactly know what is quite going on with the characters. Like for instance, the movie didn't really explain about what kind of condition Helena's mother had that caused her to go to the hospital in the first place and even though it wouldn't be a major part of the film, I still would like to know what kind of disease Helena's mother had that would be so dangerous to her health.
Overall, "Mirrormask" is a fantastic and surreal film that anyone who is a huge fan of Neil Gaiman's works or surreal movies in general will definitely enjoy for many years to come!
Gareth von Kallenbach (965 KP) rated Muppets Most Wanted (2014) in Movies
Aug 6, 2019
It was nostalgia and curiousity that made the Muppets successful return to the big screen in 2011 such a hit. Parents wanted to introduce their kids to the dysfunctional entertainers of their childhood, and the adults who grew up on the Muppets wanted to see if the crazy bunch could still make them laugh. With the help of celebrity cameos and catchy parodies of popular songs, I remember thoroughly enjoying the Muppets’ comeback.
Three years in real time means just a few seconds in Muppet-land. Muppets Most Wanted begins where the last movie ended. Riding high on their successful return to stage, the Muppets are approached by a promoter named Dominic Badguy. played by Ricky Gervais, who convinces the Muppets to take their show on a worldwide tour. Despite his misgivings, Kermit agrees and soon the gang is traveling across the Atlantic.
Of course, no surprise Badguy has ulterior motives, which involve switching Kermit with an imprisoned doppelganger named Constantine, the word’s most dangerous frog. He and Kermit are identical, except for a mole Constantine must hide to trick Kermit’s friends into believing he’s Kermit, because his awkward American accent isn’t a dead giveaway at all. With awful accents themselves, Ty Burrell and Tina Fey play a French detective and a Russian prison warden who provide some of the human comic relief.
Riddled with funny moments and entertaining musical numbers, this sequel meets the expectations of most sequels. Even the Muppets know sequels are rarely as good as the original – they even sing about it. The movie has the silly capers and signature acts the Muppets know how to deliver, which will keep the kids entertained. The curiousity factor may not motivate, and nostalgic feelings may have waned a bit, but like its predecessor, the revolving door of celebrity cameos is what will keep the adults interested.
3 out of 5
Review by Barnetty Kushner
Muppets Most Wanted is the eighth big screen Muppets adventure, which carries the warmth and charm that we come to find with the Jim Henson created lovable characters. What sets this film apart from the 2011 reboot “Muppet Movie,” is that the characters are the forefront of the entire story and their human counterparts serve as secondary.
This time they are no longer worried about reuniting or trying to reintroduce themselves, the Muppets are on a world tour with their new Tour Manager, Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais). Dominic arranges a European tour for the Muppets with the ulterior motive of trying to replace Kermit with a look-a-like frog named Constantine, a wanted criminal who escapes prison and uses the Muppet tour as a cover to stage a multi-national heist ultimately ending with stealing the crown jewels. While Constantine attempts to play the role of ‘head muppet ‘, poor Kermit gets whisked away to the gulag, a maximum security prison located in Siberia, Russia where he has to contend with the warden, Nadya (Tina Fey). Due to Kermit’s good hearted nature and excellent stage show management skills, the prisoners and Nadya quickly realize that Kermit is not Constantine and forces him to direct the prison’s annual “Gulag Review.”
Even though the storyline is a bit drab, the production numbers are epic-from the “everybody knows a sequel is never quite as good” opener, the Miss Piggy/Celion Dion duet number, to the Siberian prisoners 1980’s Chorus Line show stopping dance sequence. In true Muppets tradition, this movie is peppered with dozens of amusing celebrity cameos along with a spirited stew of wordplay, slapstick comedic jokes. You can’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia back the days from your childhood of waking up Saturday mornings and watching “The Muppet Show.” Kids will enjoy the movie, adults will laugh out loud at all the bad puns, and hopefully in the end they will have succeeded in connecting the new generation to the charm of the Muppets, in a world more that is more familiar with CGI and 3-D animation.
Three years in real time means just a few seconds in Muppet-land. Muppets Most Wanted begins where the last movie ended. Riding high on their successful return to stage, the Muppets are approached by a promoter named Dominic Badguy. played by Ricky Gervais, who convinces the Muppets to take their show on a worldwide tour. Despite his misgivings, Kermit agrees and soon the gang is traveling across the Atlantic.
Of course, no surprise Badguy has ulterior motives, which involve switching Kermit with an imprisoned doppelganger named Constantine, the word’s most dangerous frog. He and Kermit are identical, except for a mole Constantine must hide to trick Kermit’s friends into believing he’s Kermit, because his awkward American accent isn’t a dead giveaway at all. With awful accents themselves, Ty Burrell and Tina Fey play a French detective and a Russian prison warden who provide some of the human comic relief.
Riddled with funny moments and entertaining musical numbers, this sequel meets the expectations of most sequels. Even the Muppets know sequels are rarely as good as the original – they even sing about it. The movie has the silly capers and signature acts the Muppets know how to deliver, which will keep the kids entertained. The curiousity factor may not motivate, and nostalgic feelings may have waned a bit, but like its predecessor, the revolving door of celebrity cameos is what will keep the adults interested.
3 out of 5
Review by Barnetty Kushner
Muppets Most Wanted is the eighth big screen Muppets adventure, which carries the warmth and charm that we come to find with the Jim Henson created lovable characters. What sets this film apart from the 2011 reboot “Muppet Movie,” is that the characters are the forefront of the entire story and their human counterparts serve as secondary.
This time they are no longer worried about reuniting or trying to reintroduce themselves, the Muppets are on a world tour with their new Tour Manager, Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais). Dominic arranges a European tour for the Muppets with the ulterior motive of trying to replace Kermit with a look-a-like frog named Constantine, a wanted criminal who escapes prison and uses the Muppet tour as a cover to stage a multi-national heist ultimately ending with stealing the crown jewels. While Constantine attempts to play the role of ‘head muppet ‘, poor Kermit gets whisked away to the gulag, a maximum security prison located in Siberia, Russia where he has to contend with the warden, Nadya (Tina Fey). Due to Kermit’s good hearted nature and excellent stage show management skills, the prisoners and Nadya quickly realize that Kermit is not Constantine and forces him to direct the prison’s annual “Gulag Review.”
Even though the storyline is a bit drab, the production numbers are epic-from the “everybody knows a sequel is never quite as good” opener, the Miss Piggy/Celion Dion duet number, to the Siberian prisoners 1980’s Chorus Line show stopping dance sequence. In true Muppets tradition, this movie is peppered with dozens of amusing celebrity cameos along with a spirited stew of wordplay, slapstick comedic jokes. You can’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia back the days from your childhood of waking up Saturday mornings and watching “The Muppet Show.” Kids will enjoy the movie, adults will laugh out loud at all the bad puns, and hopefully in the end they will have succeeded in connecting the new generation to the charm of the Muppets, in a world more that is more familiar with CGI and 3-D animation.
Versusyours (757 KP) rated Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019) in Movies
Dec 30, 2019 (Updated Dec 30, 2019)
Another film ruined by Endgame's splendour
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Rise of Skywalker
Some endings are welcomed whilst others are heart-breaking and sudden, then there is this movie that closes a curtain that’s older than my very bones. In the time from 1977 there has been highs, lows and Jar Jar Binks a plenty and lots and lots of toys, lunchboxes and soap sets in all shapes of droids. The film itself opens and quickly reintroduces all the main characters and sets up the plot lines for each person and they embark on a path that is destined for them all to meet later. Kylo Ren is on a solo Gooniesesque mission to retrieve something darker than One Eyed Willies rich stuff with the aid of a Toblerone shaped virtual map. Helmetless and emotionless he encounters the Emperor you in fact is not dead but just chilling out with many engineers, Sith corpses and a big evil throne that he may use to do dark side Sudoku. Kylo Ren must kill Rey and then he and Palpatine might both crack a smile and take turns on the evil throne as all powerful rulers.
Is it a bird? Is it plane? Well its half bird in name alone it’s the Millennium Falcon doing what it does best and being chased and escaping for the numerous time but this time they are light speed jumping even though they are told not to, naughty naughty. Po and Finn get some gossip and head to the planet the Rebels are all hiding on to share their news. Enter the heroine its Rey in a new outfit and floating up high but failing to entice the Jedi spirits to appear but why would they this early on in a film. The hero’s all use the gossip from the Empire spy and Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO depart in the Millennium Falcon. Space trip!!!
They head for a Space desert that is like Mardi Gras with sand, it’s so lucky that these sandy terrains are common in space like they are common on Earth as Star Wars loves these arid landscapes. They get into a scrape as they always seem to do but with Stormtroopers being inept and despite being airborne, they now fail on both land and air to do anything other than being a source for explosions. C3-PO finally gets the chance to be of actual use but in his golden and splendid way he is unable to translate a Sith message orally and it remains unheard and unseen in his memory banks. Kylo Ren mentally Skype calls Rey and she forgets to turn off her location settings and he turns up. In the ensuing melee Rey turns up the bad ass levels and destroys an Empire ship containing the Wookie we all fell in love with Chewbacca. In a big fiery furball of fire he is gone, Rey is beside herself with regret and they all escape on board Not the Millennium Falcon. Another planet another mission to add to the collection sees the group hoping to find a brain surgeon to extract the Sith message from C3-PO. On planet Jim Henson we see a large collection of weird and wonderful puppets and cosplay experts. The downside of the brain surgery is it will format C3-PO to the factory settings so he can learn to be annoying to everyone all over again. A little shaved Mogwai turns out to be the master surgeon and he completes the job easily enough and they retrieve the message, but the worst fears are realised as C3-PO remembers no one.
From the furry flames Chewbacca, we find out is not dead but merely being pampered in the Empires many hair and nail bars. Sensing this fashion disaster waiting to happen Rey organises a rescue mission and they break into the Star Destroyer with relative ease until Poe, Finn are caught and assigned to death. Rey is on her own mission and breaks into Kylo Ren’s bachelor pad and has a look around and gets the Sith dagger and another Skype call from Kylo Ren is taken where he tells her some missing parts of her childhood and about her true lineage as a pesky Palpatine. The age-old Star Wars family is not who you think it is trope is wheeled out once more. Learning from her previous failures of her location services she refuses to tell Kylo but when the melted helmet of the original absent father Darth Vader falls at Kylo’s feet he knows she is in his room. Enraged in case he left any interspace porn lying around his room he quickly makes a run for his awesome ship.
With certain execution facing Poe, Finn and the now unlucky Chewie and the blasters set to wipe them out General Hux turns Rouge One and saves the heroes at the last second. With his turncoat and spy status ensured he shows his true childish colours and he wants Kylo Ren to lose because he has longer and hair on the darker side of black (maybe). Before allowing them to escape he asked for a blaster wound to give his story of them overpowering the guards some weight, surely a fool proof plan with your boss being able to mind read. He takes a blaster to the knee before hobbling to explain himself before being shot as the traitorous Rebel scum he is. If only he had lived long enough, he may have seen his wish come true. They well-travelled hero’s travel to space Astoria for another Goonies part of the quest where they see the remnants of the second Death Star and use the dagger doubloon to perfectly line up where the way finder is located. A big source of luck as the waves that engulf the planet and are crashing all around the wreck of the Deathstar have avoided any damage over the years. It’s deemed impossible to traverse the giant waves until morning but when Rey sees her opportunity she sails over the waves with relative ease while the rest of the heroes are chatting to a local about zero hour Strom trooper contracts and a lack of a good sickness benefit policy. As Rey makes it to the wreckage, she is met with Kylo Ren and they have a lightsaber battle after he smashes the way finder and asks her to join him in getting rid of Papa Palpatine and being the Sith power couple. Kylo seems to be building up the anger in Rey and trying to temp her to give in to her rage. Some great action shots and some force leaps make this a memorable fight scene until Leia ‘force times’ Kylo distracting him enough for Rey to become the victor. This is the last stand for Leia as she gives up the ghost and therefore becomes one of those ghost Jedi figures. With a sudden change of heart and with the wound barely open Rey uses her force healing abilities to fill Kylo’s hole right up before stealing his ship and leaving him stranded on Goonieland. With all this free time Kylo throws away his lightsaber and becomes Ben Solo once more and squeezes in a catch up with his old dad Han in dreamworld or memoryland.
Rey is now on a mission to destroy the Sith and the Emperor on the hidden planet now she has the map but only after setting Kylo’s sweet spaceship on fire and then realising her error. This impulsive nature may be leading to the dark side!! She heads to Exegol the Sith planet just as Palpatine is setting his sights on getting on with ending the Rebellion once and for all. If a job is worth doing its worth doing it yourself and orders the destruction of planet by a weapon that’s on each Star Destroyer. When Rey catches up with the Emperor, he is happy to see her and he invites her to strike him down, probably to become more powerful than we can imagine. Rey leaves a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs and she is followed by the resistance and they have a plan to take on the Final Order by destroying a central communication tower, so again a rather simple way to stop some heavy duty weaponry; the old classics are the best!!! It becomes a bit Star Wars of the Rings with space horses appearing and galloping to the rescue, not since the ill-fated days of the Phantom Menace has wildlife shocked me in such a manner. Back to the will she, won’t she, Rey and the Emperor are still wanting different things and Palpatine has invited the ghosts of Sith past to witness his greatest triumph. Rey has a choice of lightsaber’s due to Leia giving her an extra, maybe there was a reason for this!! Oh, wait Ben Solo has arrived lightsaberless what a stroke of luck!! Palpatine has had enough and he decides to drain both the Jedi’s of their life force and levels ups and gets back to rage mode and gets his lightning on. He dispatches Ben and then takes out the full resistance fleet with an impressive lightning show. Rey in her weakened state finally perfects the connection with the Jedi spirits that she failed at early in the film. Armed with the x-factor of crossed lightsabers she pushes the Emperor back and turns his own electricity and his face is melted off Raiders of the Lost Ark style. Ben then comes back into the mix and repays the force healing from earlier and gives Rey the gift of life followed by a kiss. This is a kiss of death literally and he fades away into nothingness. In scenes not seen since the Avengers help arrives when all hope is gone, and the fight is won by the good guys again.
I felt that this film was too fast paced and had too many storylines that were quickly explored and this was at a detriment to what could have been. Maybe on repeat viewing there will be the chance to slow down and explore the potential of the film. Some scenes were for the older generation and some were for the newbies to the galaxy far, far away and this again was at a cost to the whole experience. This all being said the watch was enjoyable and had its genuine emotional moments and humour was used to break the tension at times with C3-PO having a few choice lines for once.
Some endings are welcomed whilst others are heart-breaking and sudden, then there is this movie that closes a curtain that’s older than my very bones. In the time from 1977 there has been highs, lows and Jar Jar Binks a plenty and lots and lots of toys, lunchboxes and soap sets in all shapes of droids. The film itself opens and quickly reintroduces all the main characters and sets up the plot lines for each person and they embark on a path that is destined for them all to meet later. Kylo Ren is on a solo Gooniesesque mission to retrieve something darker than One Eyed Willies rich stuff with the aid of a Toblerone shaped virtual map. Helmetless and emotionless he encounters the Emperor you in fact is not dead but just chilling out with many engineers, Sith corpses and a big evil throne that he may use to do dark side Sudoku. Kylo Ren must kill Rey and then he and Palpatine might both crack a smile and take turns on the evil throne as all powerful rulers.
Is it a bird? Is it plane? Well its half bird in name alone it’s the Millennium Falcon doing what it does best and being chased and escaping for the numerous time but this time they are light speed jumping even though they are told not to, naughty naughty. Po and Finn get some gossip and head to the planet the Rebels are all hiding on to share their news. Enter the heroine its Rey in a new outfit and floating up high but failing to entice the Jedi spirits to appear but why would they this early on in a film. The hero’s all use the gossip from the Empire spy and Rey, Finn, Poe, Chewbacca, BB-8, and C-3PO depart in the Millennium Falcon. Space trip!!!
They head for a Space desert that is like Mardi Gras with sand, it’s so lucky that these sandy terrains are common in space like they are common on Earth as Star Wars loves these arid landscapes. They get into a scrape as they always seem to do but with Stormtroopers being inept and despite being airborne, they now fail on both land and air to do anything other than being a source for explosions. C3-PO finally gets the chance to be of actual use but in his golden and splendid way he is unable to translate a Sith message orally and it remains unheard and unseen in his memory banks. Kylo Ren mentally Skype calls Rey and she forgets to turn off her location settings and he turns up. In the ensuing melee Rey turns up the bad ass levels and destroys an Empire ship containing the Wookie we all fell in love with Chewbacca. In a big fiery furball of fire he is gone, Rey is beside herself with regret and they all escape on board Not the Millennium Falcon. Another planet another mission to add to the collection sees the group hoping to find a brain surgeon to extract the Sith message from C3-PO. On planet Jim Henson we see a large collection of weird and wonderful puppets and cosplay experts. The downside of the brain surgery is it will format C3-PO to the factory settings so he can learn to be annoying to everyone all over again. A little shaved Mogwai turns out to be the master surgeon and he completes the job easily enough and they retrieve the message, but the worst fears are realised as C3-PO remembers no one.
From the furry flames Chewbacca, we find out is not dead but merely being pampered in the Empires many hair and nail bars. Sensing this fashion disaster waiting to happen Rey organises a rescue mission and they break into the Star Destroyer with relative ease until Poe, Finn are caught and assigned to death. Rey is on her own mission and breaks into Kylo Ren’s bachelor pad and has a look around and gets the Sith dagger and another Skype call from Kylo Ren is taken where he tells her some missing parts of her childhood and about her true lineage as a pesky Palpatine. The age-old Star Wars family is not who you think it is trope is wheeled out once more. Learning from her previous failures of her location services she refuses to tell Kylo but when the melted helmet of the original absent father Darth Vader falls at Kylo’s feet he knows she is in his room. Enraged in case he left any interspace porn lying around his room he quickly makes a run for his awesome ship.
With certain execution facing Poe, Finn and the now unlucky Chewie and the blasters set to wipe them out General Hux turns Rouge One and saves the heroes at the last second. With his turncoat and spy status ensured he shows his true childish colours and he wants Kylo Ren to lose because he has longer and hair on the darker side of black (maybe). Before allowing them to escape he asked for a blaster wound to give his story of them overpowering the guards some weight, surely a fool proof plan with your boss being able to mind read. He takes a blaster to the knee before hobbling to explain himself before being shot as the traitorous Rebel scum he is. If only he had lived long enough, he may have seen his wish come true. They well-travelled hero’s travel to space Astoria for another Goonies part of the quest where they see the remnants of the second Death Star and use the dagger doubloon to perfectly line up where the way finder is located. A big source of luck as the waves that engulf the planet and are crashing all around the wreck of the Deathstar have avoided any damage over the years. It’s deemed impossible to traverse the giant waves until morning but when Rey sees her opportunity she sails over the waves with relative ease while the rest of the heroes are chatting to a local about zero hour Strom trooper contracts and a lack of a good sickness benefit policy. As Rey makes it to the wreckage, she is met with Kylo Ren and they have a lightsaber battle after he smashes the way finder and asks her to join him in getting rid of Papa Palpatine and being the Sith power couple. Kylo seems to be building up the anger in Rey and trying to temp her to give in to her rage. Some great action shots and some force leaps make this a memorable fight scene until Leia ‘force times’ Kylo distracting him enough for Rey to become the victor. This is the last stand for Leia as she gives up the ghost and therefore becomes one of those ghost Jedi figures. With a sudden change of heart and with the wound barely open Rey uses her force healing abilities to fill Kylo’s hole right up before stealing his ship and leaving him stranded on Goonieland. With all this free time Kylo throws away his lightsaber and becomes Ben Solo once more and squeezes in a catch up with his old dad Han in dreamworld or memoryland.
Rey is now on a mission to destroy the Sith and the Emperor on the hidden planet now she has the map but only after setting Kylo’s sweet spaceship on fire and then realising her error. This impulsive nature may be leading to the dark side!! She heads to Exegol the Sith planet just as Palpatine is setting his sights on getting on with ending the Rebellion once and for all. If a job is worth doing its worth doing it yourself and orders the destruction of planet by a weapon that’s on each Star Destroyer. When Rey catches up with the Emperor, he is happy to see her and he invites her to strike him down, probably to become more powerful than we can imagine. Rey leaves a trail of cosmic breadcrumbs and she is followed by the resistance and they have a plan to take on the Final Order by destroying a central communication tower, so again a rather simple way to stop some heavy duty weaponry; the old classics are the best!!! It becomes a bit Star Wars of the Rings with space horses appearing and galloping to the rescue, not since the ill-fated days of the Phantom Menace has wildlife shocked me in such a manner. Back to the will she, won’t she, Rey and the Emperor are still wanting different things and Palpatine has invited the ghosts of Sith past to witness his greatest triumph. Rey has a choice of lightsaber’s due to Leia giving her an extra, maybe there was a reason for this!! Oh, wait Ben Solo has arrived lightsaberless what a stroke of luck!! Palpatine has had enough and he decides to drain both the Jedi’s of their life force and levels ups and gets back to rage mode and gets his lightning on. He dispatches Ben and then takes out the full resistance fleet with an impressive lightning show. Rey in her weakened state finally perfects the connection with the Jedi spirits that she failed at early in the film. Armed with the x-factor of crossed lightsabers she pushes the Emperor back and turns his own electricity and his face is melted off Raiders of the Lost Ark style. Ben then comes back into the mix and repays the force healing from earlier and gives Rey the gift of life followed by a kiss. This is a kiss of death literally and he fades away into nothingness. In scenes not seen since the Avengers help arrives when all hope is gone, and the fight is won by the good guys again.
I felt that this film was too fast paced and had too many storylines that were quickly explored and this was at a detriment to what could have been. Maybe on repeat viewing there will be the chance to slow down and explore the potential of the film. Some scenes were for the older generation and some were for the newbies to the galaxy far, far away and this again was at a cost to the whole experience. This all being said the watch was enjoyable and had its genuine emotional moments and humour was used to break the tension at times with C3-PO having a few choice lines for once.