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Cyn Armistead (14 KP) rated Down These Strange Streets in Books
Mar 1, 2018
This anthology gathers stories from authors who normally write in various genres. The commonality is that each story is a mystery, and there's a fantastic twist to each. Martin's introduction calls such stories the "bastard stepchild" of mystery and horror.
[a:Charlaine Harris|17061|Charlaine Harris|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1307925926p2/17061.jpg]'; "Death by Dahlia," set in the Sookie Stackhouse universe, is one of a series of stories about the vampire Dahlia Lynley-Chivers. Each story stands alone, but my enjoyment grows greater with each addition to her tales. I'd much rather see Dahlia as the main character of a novel than Sookie, to be honest. This story, set at the party for the ascension of a new vampire sherrif, was a little gem, and a nice start to the collection.
"The Bleeding Shadow" by [a:Joe R. Lansdale|58971|Joe R. Lansdale|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1200406474p2/58971.jpg] is grittier from start to finish, set in the south of black folks in the 1950s. A beautiful woman sends her sometime-suitor to find her brother, a blues musician who has gotten into music that isn't of this world. I couldn't be done with this one soon enough, as it gave me the willies. I have a feeling Lansdale would be happy that it stuck with me for a while.
[a:Simon R. Green|41942|Simon R. Green|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1224555729p2/41942.jpg]'s "Hungry Heart" takes us to the Nightside, where John Taylor is hired by a young witch to retrieve her stolen heart. I haven't read any of the Nightside novels, but this is probably the third or fourth short story I've read, and for some reason they never leave me wanting more. I don't hunger for the darkness, I guess. I will give Green points for creativity in evil henchmen, though.
"Styx and Stones" by [a:Steven Saylor|42919|Steven Saylor|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1243268148p2/42919.jpg] takes a teenage version of his novel hero Gordianus on a world tour to see the Seven Wonders of the World, and this stop is Babylon. Gordianus and his companion, Antipater, find a murderous ghost in residence near their inn in addition to seeing the Ziggurat, the Gate of Ishtar, and what's left of the Hanging Gardens.
[a:S. M. Stirling|6448047|S. M. Stirling|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s "Pain and Suffering" was unsatisfying to me. It opened with an ex-soldier's combat flashback twisted into something Other, then we learn that the ex-soldier is a cop. He and his partner spend a lot of time investigating an apparent arson and possibly-connected kidnapping. The flashbacks repeat. There's more, but I don't want to spoil the story. I just felt that there was a lot of build-up for very little payoff, and that perhaps this story was meant as a teaser for a novel in which context it would all make far more sense.
"It's Still the Same Old Story' by [a:Carrie Vaughn|8988|Carrie Vaughn|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1231952277p2/8988.jpg] features vampire Rick, from the Kitty Norville books. An old friend calls him needing his help, but by the time he gets to her, she's dead. Most of the story is told in flashback, with him remembering when he originally met the now-old-woman, when they were lovers for a time. The murder is no great mystery for very long. The story felt more rote than anything else, as if perhaps Vaughn wanted to humanize Rick a bit by showing that he had cared for this woman at one time. I didn't feel much of anything from it.
One of the more creative pieces, "The Lady is a Screamer" by [a:Conn Iggulden|119121|Conn Iggulden|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1235073163p2/119121.jpg], is told in first person by a con man turned ghostbuster. I didn't like it, precisely, and i certainly didn't like the narrator. It stands alone, though, and doesn't feel derivative at all, so that says something all by itself.
"Hellbender" by [a:Laurie R. King|6760|Laurie R. King|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1314242901p2/6760.jpg] is probably the only story that left me determined to hunt down more of the author's work. I would classify it as near-future science fiction, but it certainly fits in the noir detective genre as well. I have no hesitation giving this one story five out of five stars.
"Shadow Thieves" is a Garrett, P.I. story by [a:Glen Cook|13026|Glen Cook|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1207159752p2/13026.jpg]. That's another series I haven't read, but I believe this is the first time I've read a short story set in that world. I wouldn't mind reading the series if the novels are all light-hearted like this story. There was some darkness, obviously, or the piece wouldn't be in this anthology - but overall, there was humor.
[a:Melinda M. Snodgrass|725899|Melinda M. Snodgrass|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1271184595p2/725899.jpg]'; "No Mystery, No Miracle" is probably the most controversial story in the book if anybody is really paying attention. I found it intriguing and well-written.
"The Difference Between a Puzzle and a Mystery" by [a:M.L.N. Hanover|1868743|M.L.N. Hanover|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-M-50x66.jpg] takes us a big city, where an overworked cop is trying to get a confession out of a supposedly demon-possessed killer. He gets help from an unusual minister (Unitarian, we're told - not something that will thrill any UUs out there). I found this one of the most chilling stories in the book. Telling you why, however, would be a spoiler.
I would love to see a novel featuring the main characters of [a:Lisa Tuttle|38313|Lisa Tuttle|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1296860221p2/38313.jpg]'s "The Curious Affair of the Deodand" - a young woman in the Watson role and a young man as a Sherlock Holmes-type consulting detective. The young lady is every bit as vital to resolving the case as the man is, which is one of the things I enjoyed about the story. The resolution isn't as satisfying as it could be, though, which is one of the reasons I'd like to see the same characters in other circumstances.
"Lord John and the Plague of Zombies" by [a:Diana Gabaldon|3617|Diana Gabaldon|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1213918339p2/3617.jpg] is a Lord John Grey story. This is, I believe, the first thing I've read by Gabaldon. It wasn't bad and it wasn't earth-shakingly good. It was decently-plotted with predictable characters and a nice little twist at the end, so enjoyable to read. I won't avoid her work but I'm not burning to read more, either.
"Beware the Snake" is an SPQR story by [a:John Maddox Roberts|19522|John Maddox Roberts|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1285244765p2/19522.jpg]. Once again, I'm unfamiliar with the author and the series, but the story gave enough context for me to understand the setting and the characters, so that was all right. It was enjoyable, although I probably would have twigged to a couple of things more quickly were I more familiar with Roman naming customs.
[a:Patricia Briggs|40563|Patricia Briggs|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1228867484p2/40563.jpg]'; "In Red, With Pearls" is set in Mercedes Thompson's world but featuring werewolf Warren Smith and his lover Kyle. Kyle is set upon by a zombie assassin who is thwarted by Warren, but of course Warren wants to know who sent the zombie, why, and who made the zombie. It's a very good story, as I've come to expect from Briggs. I had a bit of a hard time keeping up with some of the secondary characters in the story, but then I was distracted at the time.
"The Adakian Eagle" by [a:Bradley Denton|198305|Bradley Denton|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1320697919p2/198305.jpg] is a Dashiell Hammett story - as in, Hammett is a character. That was interesting alone, but the story in general was well-told. Spare and hard, as befits one of the main characters.
All in all this is a collection that I can definitely recommend. There are very few clunkers are several excellent stories. [a:George R.R. Martin|346732|George R.R. Martin|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1195658637p2/346732.jpg] and [a:Gardner R. Dozois|12052|Gardner R. Dozois|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1247758142p2/12052.jpg] did their jobs very well.
[a:Charlaine Harris|17061|Charlaine Harris|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1307925926p2/17061.jpg]'; "Death by Dahlia," set in the Sookie Stackhouse universe, is one of a series of stories about the vampire Dahlia Lynley-Chivers. Each story stands alone, but my enjoyment grows greater with each addition to her tales. I'd much rather see Dahlia as the main character of a novel than Sookie, to be honest. This story, set at the party for the ascension of a new vampire sherrif, was a little gem, and a nice start to the collection.
"The Bleeding Shadow" by [a:Joe R. Lansdale|58971|Joe R. Lansdale|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1200406474p2/58971.jpg] is grittier from start to finish, set in the south of black folks in the 1950s. A beautiful woman sends her sometime-suitor to find her brother, a blues musician who has gotten into music that isn't of this world. I couldn't be done with this one soon enough, as it gave me the willies. I have a feeling Lansdale would be happy that it stuck with me for a while.
[a:Simon R. Green|41942|Simon R. Green|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1224555729p2/41942.jpg]'s "Hungry Heart" takes us to the Nightside, where John Taylor is hired by a young witch to retrieve her stolen heart. I haven't read any of the Nightside novels, but this is probably the third or fourth short story I've read, and for some reason they never leave me wanting more. I don't hunger for the darkness, I guess. I will give Green points for creativity in evil henchmen, though.
"Styx and Stones" by [a:Steven Saylor|42919|Steven Saylor|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1243268148p2/42919.jpg] takes a teenage version of his novel hero Gordianus on a world tour to see the Seven Wonders of the World, and this stop is Babylon. Gordianus and his companion, Antipater, find a murderous ghost in residence near their inn in addition to seeing the Ziggurat, the Gate of Ishtar, and what's left of the Hanging Gardens.
[a:S. M. Stirling|6448047|S. M. Stirling|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg]'s "Pain and Suffering" was unsatisfying to me. It opened with an ex-soldier's combat flashback twisted into something Other, then we learn that the ex-soldier is a cop. He and his partner spend a lot of time investigating an apparent arson and possibly-connected kidnapping. The flashbacks repeat. There's more, but I don't want to spoil the story. I just felt that there was a lot of build-up for very little payoff, and that perhaps this story was meant as a teaser for a novel in which context it would all make far more sense.
"It's Still the Same Old Story' by [a:Carrie Vaughn|8988|Carrie Vaughn|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1231952277p2/8988.jpg] features vampire Rick, from the Kitty Norville books. An old friend calls him needing his help, but by the time he gets to her, she's dead. Most of the story is told in flashback, with him remembering when he originally met the now-old-woman, when they were lovers for a time. The murder is no great mystery for very long. The story felt more rote than anything else, as if perhaps Vaughn wanted to humanize Rick a bit by showing that he had cared for this woman at one time. I didn't feel much of anything from it.
One of the more creative pieces, "The Lady is a Screamer" by [a:Conn Iggulden|119121|Conn Iggulden|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1235073163p2/119121.jpg], is told in first person by a con man turned ghostbuster. I didn't like it, precisely, and i certainly didn't like the narrator. It stands alone, though, and doesn't feel derivative at all, so that says something all by itself.
"Hellbender" by [a:Laurie R. King|6760|Laurie R. King|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1314242901p2/6760.jpg] is probably the only story that left me determined to hunt down more of the author's work. I would classify it as near-future science fiction, but it certainly fits in the noir detective genre as well. I have no hesitation giving this one story five out of five stars.
"Shadow Thieves" is a Garrett, P.I. story by [a:Glen Cook|13026|Glen Cook|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1207159752p2/13026.jpg]. That's another series I haven't read, but I believe this is the first time I've read a short story set in that world. I wouldn't mind reading the series if the novels are all light-hearted like this story. There was some darkness, obviously, or the piece wouldn't be in this anthology - but overall, there was humor.
[a:Melinda M. Snodgrass|725899|Melinda M. Snodgrass|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1271184595p2/725899.jpg]'; "No Mystery, No Miracle" is probably the most controversial story in the book if anybody is really paying attention. I found it intriguing and well-written.
"The Difference Between a Puzzle and a Mystery" by [a:M.L.N. Hanover|1868743|M.L.N. Hanover|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nophoto/nophoto-M-50x66.jpg] takes us a big city, where an overworked cop is trying to get a confession out of a supposedly demon-possessed killer. He gets help from an unusual minister (Unitarian, we're told - not something that will thrill any UUs out there). I found this one of the most chilling stories in the book. Telling you why, however, would be a spoiler.
I would love to see a novel featuring the main characters of [a:Lisa Tuttle|38313|Lisa Tuttle|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1296860221p2/38313.jpg]'s "The Curious Affair of the Deodand" - a young woman in the Watson role and a young man as a Sherlock Holmes-type consulting detective. The young lady is every bit as vital to resolving the case as the man is, which is one of the things I enjoyed about the story. The resolution isn't as satisfying as it could be, though, which is one of the reasons I'd like to see the same characters in other circumstances.
"Lord John and the Plague of Zombies" by [a:Diana Gabaldon|3617|Diana Gabaldon|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1213918339p2/3617.jpg] is a Lord John Grey story. This is, I believe, the first thing I've read by Gabaldon. It wasn't bad and it wasn't earth-shakingly good. It was decently-plotted with predictable characters and a nice little twist at the end, so enjoyable to read. I won't avoid her work but I'm not burning to read more, either.
"Beware the Snake" is an SPQR story by [a:John Maddox Roberts|19522|John Maddox Roberts|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1285244765p2/19522.jpg]. Once again, I'm unfamiliar with the author and the series, but the story gave enough context for me to understand the setting and the characters, so that was all right. It was enjoyable, although I probably would have twigged to a couple of things more quickly were I more familiar with Roman naming customs.
[a:Patricia Briggs|40563|Patricia Briggs|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1228867484p2/40563.jpg]'; "In Red, With Pearls" is set in Mercedes Thompson's world but featuring werewolf Warren Smith and his lover Kyle. Kyle is set upon by a zombie assassin who is thwarted by Warren, but of course Warren wants to know who sent the zombie, why, and who made the zombie. It's a very good story, as I've come to expect from Briggs. I had a bit of a hard time keeping up with some of the secondary characters in the story, but then I was distracted at the time.
"The Adakian Eagle" by [a:Bradley Denton|198305|Bradley Denton|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1320697919p2/198305.jpg] is a Dashiell Hammett story - as in, Hammett is a character. That was interesting alone, but the story in general was well-told. Spare and hard, as befits one of the main characters.
All in all this is a collection that I can definitely recommend. There are very few clunkers are several excellent stories. [a:George R.R. Martin|346732|George R.R. Martin|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1195658637p2/346732.jpg] and [a:Gardner R. Dozois|12052|Gardner R. Dozois|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1247758142p2/12052.jpg] did their jobs very well.
Chris Hooker (419 KP) rated No Way Home (A Science Fiction Anthology) in Books
Jan 12, 2018
I received [No Way Home] from author [Harry Manners] in exchange for a honest review. This collection of short stories with the theme of being stranded, in one way or another, was a thought provoking read.
[To Sing of Chaos and Eternal Night] by [Lucas Bale] took me a few days to get past the beginning. The concept of a soldier who has lost all being and is just thought sent to robotic bodies and told to fight the enemy was interesting. As I stated, unfortunately, it was a slow start but the ending was worth the read.
[XE, or People Are Strange] by [S. Elliot Brandis]gave a new meaning to getting away from it all. The main character, Bradley, volunteers to be put in a shuttle to find a new habitable plant. His mission is one way and he is to send a signal back to Earth if it is a safe place. Apparently, though, he is not the first, or only, person on the new planet. I really liked the twist in this story.
[Grist] by [J.S. Collyer] is a futuristic view where one entity has taken control and all others are forced to work for them, often underground. Wyatt was not born into this so he remembers fresh air and sun. He wants to escape and be free again. Just daring to think this way can be deadly and he must know who to trust. The question this story had me asking was what is life worth?
[Merely A Madness] by [S.W. Fairbrother] was one I was really excited to see in this collection because I had read [The Secret Dead] and loved it. [Merely A Madness] did not disappoint in anyway. Earth has become a hostile place but most people have escaped off planet. Hannah loves old earth and Mullen sets up a holiday because he aims to please. This would be like current day people going to a wild west ranch, real but not too real. Things go horribly wrong and Mullen must make a hard choice. This story was one of my favorites by far.
[Revolver] by [Michael Patrick Hicks] was the most overtly political and also one of the most enjoyable. The concept of reality TV and politics preying on the unfortunates is so scary because it is not far from our current reality. I really loved the statement made in this one.
[The Happy Place] by [Harry Manners] was a story of a dream gone horribly wrong. Michael has always dreamed of going to the stars and with his wife this dream becomes a reality as he is chosen to colonize Mars. Years later he realizes his dream may be a nightmare as he begins to lose everything he loves. The only thing that keeps him going is 'the Happy Place', a virtual reality of his memories from Earth, but keeping this secret from those he loves may cost him even more. This is the third work I have read from [Harry Manners] and I love how he handles loneliness and making hard decisions. His characters are always deeper than they first appear.
[Renata] by [Nadine Matheson] is a futuristic spy story wrapped in a mob hit with political intrigue. Yes, I enjoyed this one as well. Kaoru is an assassin who gets his assignments from his brother. His latest target is in the past. This is the assignment that may just kill him.
[Cold Witness] by [A.S. Sinclair] was a mental thriller. John Marshall is sent to check out an abandoned military complex that he is told little about. When he arrives there he hears rumors of strange things involving the final project at the base. Upon arrival he begins hallucinating and his memories begin to meld with others. The question of what is reality is constant throughout.
All the stories were well written and enjoyable. I also liked how each author wrote an "Afterword" that explained a little of how they came up with the concept they did. I recommend this to any fan of futuristic and science fiction.
[To Sing of Chaos and Eternal Night] by [Lucas Bale] took me a few days to get past the beginning. The concept of a soldier who has lost all being and is just thought sent to robotic bodies and told to fight the enemy was interesting. As I stated, unfortunately, it was a slow start but the ending was worth the read.
[XE, or People Are Strange] by [S. Elliot Brandis]gave a new meaning to getting away from it all. The main character, Bradley, volunteers to be put in a shuttle to find a new habitable plant. His mission is one way and he is to send a signal back to Earth if it is a safe place. Apparently, though, he is not the first, or only, person on the new planet. I really liked the twist in this story.
[Grist] by [J.S. Collyer] is a futuristic view where one entity has taken control and all others are forced to work for them, often underground. Wyatt was not born into this so he remembers fresh air and sun. He wants to escape and be free again. Just daring to think this way can be deadly and he must know who to trust. The question this story had me asking was what is life worth?
[Merely A Madness] by [S.W. Fairbrother] was one I was really excited to see in this collection because I had read [The Secret Dead] and loved it. [Merely A Madness] did not disappoint in anyway. Earth has become a hostile place but most people have escaped off planet. Hannah loves old earth and Mullen sets up a holiday because he aims to please. This would be like current day people going to a wild west ranch, real but not too real. Things go horribly wrong and Mullen must make a hard choice. This story was one of my favorites by far.
[Revolver] by [Michael Patrick Hicks] was the most overtly political and also one of the most enjoyable. The concept of reality TV and politics preying on the unfortunates is so scary because it is not far from our current reality. I really loved the statement made in this one.
[The Happy Place] by [Harry Manners] was a story of a dream gone horribly wrong. Michael has always dreamed of going to the stars and with his wife this dream becomes a reality as he is chosen to colonize Mars. Years later he realizes his dream may be a nightmare as he begins to lose everything he loves. The only thing that keeps him going is 'the Happy Place', a virtual reality of his memories from Earth, but keeping this secret from those he loves may cost him even more. This is the third work I have read from [Harry Manners] and I love how he handles loneliness and making hard decisions. His characters are always deeper than they first appear.
[Renata] by [Nadine Matheson] is a futuristic spy story wrapped in a mob hit with political intrigue. Yes, I enjoyed this one as well. Kaoru is an assassin who gets his assignments from his brother. His latest target is in the past. This is the assignment that may just kill him.
[Cold Witness] by [A.S. Sinclair] was a mental thriller. John Marshall is sent to check out an abandoned military complex that he is told little about. When he arrives there he hears rumors of strange things involving the final project at the base. Upon arrival he begins hallucinating and his memories begin to meld with others. The question of what is reality is constant throughout.
All the stories were well written and enjoyable. I also liked how each author wrote an "Afterword" that explained a little of how they came up with the concept they did. I recommend this to any fan of futuristic and science fiction.
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Moonfall (2022) in Movies
Feb 5, 2022
Terribly written. (2 more)
Overacted.
Halle Berry.
Moonfall Review: It’s Raining Moon
Moonfall is a $146 million sci-fi disaster film directed by Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, Godzilla) and written by Emmerich, Harald Kloser (2012, 10000 BC), and Spenser Cohen (Extinction, The Expendables 4).
On January 12, 2011, during what is referred to as routine outer space maintenance (it’s a thing), an unidentified technological swarm caused significant damage to the astronaut’s shuttle; killing one of them and incapacitating the surviving two crew members. Brian Harper (Patrick Wilson) maneuvers the shuttle back to earth with no power while his navigator Jocinda Fowl (Halle Berry) is unconscious. Brian takes the fall as he’s labeled incompetent despite previously being an acclaimed hero and he loses his job with NASA.
Ten years later, the moon suddenly begins changing course as a hole 26-kilometers deep is discovered in the center of it. People on earth have three weeks before the moon begins falling to earth in city-sized pieces. While NASA scrambles to discover a solution, an orbital megastructure aficionado and conspiracy blogger named K.C. Houseman (John Bradley) knew about the moon’s shift in course before NASA and may end up being the savior of mankind.
The opening scene of Moonfall lets its audience know that they’re in for an excruciating two hours. Patrick Wilson and Halle Berry argue over the lyrics to Toto’s “Africa” as Wilson musically screeches the 80s rock ballad to annoying results. The film does a few things right like earth’s gravity being a complete dumpster fire and the ocean literally being at foot of everyone’s door like Bo Burnham talked about in Inside. But then introduces the aspect of orbital megastructure in an attempt to not adhere to believable physics while lethargically committing to it.
Flooding, earthquakes, and birds falling to the ground due to gravity alterations are the culmination of the insanity in Moonfall. The moon coming closer to earth also apparently means humans can lift trees above their head and jump over gaps left by fallen bridges with little effort. There’s an awkward car chase between some redneck looters and the main characters of the film.
It’s awkward due to the fact that it’s really funky visual effects (literally everything taking place on the road and in the background) with green screen (the actors driving the cars), but it’s difficult to distinguish what’s what in a bad way. The CGI and special effects in the film are that peculiar blend of not necessarily being bad, but are just off-putting enough to look weird in some capacity. It’s a high speed chase involving a gravity wave, which is mostly just cars and debris floating in the air as the sky turns red. Coincidentally enough, the disaster effects are the best part of the film because they do what they’re supposed to do without overstaying their welcome.
The dialogue in the film is atrocious and Halle Berry is a filter for most of the bad lines. Some of her gems include, “I don’t work for you, I work for the American people and I don’t like keeping them in the dark,” “I am…(the longest pause ever between one word and another)…thinking about our son,” and something overwhelmingly corny about earth’s hourglass and our time running out. Donald Sutherland can barely stomach a brief cameo appearance shared with Berry’s character before excusing himself to the loaded gun he left back in his room (yes, this actually happens).
The evacuation route in Moonfall seems to involve fleeing to Colorado. What is in Colorado and why that’s important is never really explained other than because everyone else is there. Jocinda Fowl becomes the lead director of NASA during the film and her ex-husband (played by Eme Ikwuakor) works for the military. Ikwuakor does nothing but squint like French Stewart the entire time. NASA wants to survey the activity of what’s transpiring on the moon, fly inside of its new fancy made hole, and come up with a plan to save earth in the process. The military just wants to blow up the moon with nukes; screw the consequences, this is America!
With Moonfall, Roland Emmerich has essentially made an even dumber version of Michael Bay’s Armageddon. There’s not a lot to enjoy here apart from KC Houseman’s house cat being named Fuzz Aldrin. With its idiotic premise, hammy dialogue involving some of the most exaggerated emotional speeches ever, stiff acting, unfunny humor, and purposely distorted CGI, Moonfall features an overwhelming amount of frenetic nonsense and has no excuse to be as boring as it is.
On January 12, 2011, during what is referred to as routine outer space maintenance (it’s a thing), an unidentified technological swarm caused significant damage to the astronaut’s shuttle; killing one of them and incapacitating the surviving two crew members. Brian Harper (Patrick Wilson) maneuvers the shuttle back to earth with no power while his navigator Jocinda Fowl (Halle Berry) is unconscious. Brian takes the fall as he’s labeled incompetent despite previously being an acclaimed hero and he loses his job with NASA.
Ten years later, the moon suddenly begins changing course as a hole 26-kilometers deep is discovered in the center of it. People on earth have three weeks before the moon begins falling to earth in city-sized pieces. While NASA scrambles to discover a solution, an orbital megastructure aficionado and conspiracy blogger named K.C. Houseman (John Bradley) knew about the moon’s shift in course before NASA and may end up being the savior of mankind.
The opening scene of Moonfall lets its audience know that they’re in for an excruciating two hours. Patrick Wilson and Halle Berry argue over the lyrics to Toto’s “Africa” as Wilson musically screeches the 80s rock ballad to annoying results. The film does a few things right like earth’s gravity being a complete dumpster fire and the ocean literally being at foot of everyone’s door like Bo Burnham talked about in Inside. But then introduces the aspect of orbital megastructure in an attempt to not adhere to believable physics while lethargically committing to it.
Flooding, earthquakes, and birds falling to the ground due to gravity alterations are the culmination of the insanity in Moonfall. The moon coming closer to earth also apparently means humans can lift trees above their head and jump over gaps left by fallen bridges with little effort. There’s an awkward car chase between some redneck looters and the main characters of the film.
It’s awkward due to the fact that it’s really funky visual effects (literally everything taking place on the road and in the background) with green screen (the actors driving the cars), but it’s difficult to distinguish what’s what in a bad way. The CGI and special effects in the film are that peculiar blend of not necessarily being bad, but are just off-putting enough to look weird in some capacity. It’s a high speed chase involving a gravity wave, which is mostly just cars and debris floating in the air as the sky turns red. Coincidentally enough, the disaster effects are the best part of the film because they do what they’re supposed to do without overstaying their welcome.
The dialogue in the film is atrocious and Halle Berry is a filter for most of the bad lines. Some of her gems include, “I don’t work for you, I work for the American people and I don’t like keeping them in the dark,” “I am…(the longest pause ever between one word and another)…thinking about our son,” and something overwhelmingly corny about earth’s hourglass and our time running out. Donald Sutherland can barely stomach a brief cameo appearance shared with Berry’s character before excusing himself to the loaded gun he left back in his room (yes, this actually happens).
The evacuation route in Moonfall seems to involve fleeing to Colorado. What is in Colorado and why that’s important is never really explained other than because everyone else is there. Jocinda Fowl becomes the lead director of NASA during the film and her ex-husband (played by Eme Ikwuakor) works for the military. Ikwuakor does nothing but squint like French Stewart the entire time. NASA wants to survey the activity of what’s transpiring on the moon, fly inside of its new fancy made hole, and come up with a plan to save earth in the process. The military just wants to blow up the moon with nukes; screw the consequences, this is America!
With Moonfall, Roland Emmerich has essentially made an even dumber version of Michael Bay’s Armageddon. There’s not a lot to enjoy here apart from KC Houseman’s house cat being named Fuzz Aldrin. With its idiotic premise, hammy dialogue involving some of the most exaggerated emotional speeches ever, stiff acting, unfunny humor, and purposely distorted CGI, Moonfall features an overwhelming amount of frenetic nonsense and has no excuse to be as boring as it is.
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated The Midnight Meat Train (2008) in Movies
Jun 19, 2019
Step Away from the Meat
The Midnight Meat Train is a horror film based on the short story of the same name written by Clive Barker. The story was published in the first volume of Barker’s Books of Blood short story collection. The Books of Blood totaled six volumes with four to five stories in each volume and were published between 1984 and 1985. The first volume made Barker an overnight success with Stephen King hailing Barker as, “the future of horror.”
The screenplay for the 2008 film was written by Jeff Buhler (writer for the 2019 remakes of Jacob’s Ladder, Pet Sematary, and The Grudge) and directed by Ryuhei Kitamura (Versus, Godzilla: Final Wars). Bradley Cooper stars as a struggling photographer named Leon Kauffman. While he’s secured a job as a photographer, he hasn’t been recognized as a professional just yet. But Leon has a meeting with a professional artist named Susan Hoff (Brooke Shields) that could potentially change his career status. In Leon’s eyes, he doesn’t think that any other photographer has really captured the heart of the city and that’s what he aims to do with his work. However, Susan’s criticism is that Leon is failing at his dream and to only see her again once he finds what he’s looking for.
Leon confronts some thugs during a mugging and documents the ordeal with his camera. The pictures impress Susan and she tells Leon that he’ll be featured in her next show if he brings her two more shots like the newest ones. Leon encounters Mahogany (Vinnie Jones), a butcher that works at a meat packing plant. Leon develops an obsession over Mahogany and stalks him constantly while photographing him wherever he goes. Leon suspects that Mahogany and the train he takes so late at night are the cause for so many missing people over the past three years. Leon doesn’t know how these people disappear until he follows Mahogany onto the train one fateful evening. But this operation is much more complex and dangerous than Leon first realized and his life is forever altered because of it.
This is one of the few times where the short story that inspired the film was read before seeing it. This is coming from someone who is a sporadic reader at best, but Clive Barker has been a personal favorite author for as long as this cynically bonkers brain can remember. Most of the films based on Clive Barker’s works come from The Books of Blood; Book of Blood (Volume One), Dread (Volume Two), Rawhead Rex (Volume Three), Quicksilver Highway (Volume Four, “The Body Politik”), Candyman (Volume Five, “The Forbidden”), and Lord of Illusions (Volume Six, “The Last Illusion”). Barker has always been able to build these incredibly terrifying worlds in his writing with demented characters while maintaining this richly horrifying atmosphere. Thinking so highly of Barker and admiring his work so much made expectations a little high for this film. This is also Ryuhei Kitamura’s first American and English-speaking film. The Midnight Meat Train is one of the few times where the final product actually exceeded expectations.
The Midnight Meat Train pays more attention to blood, gore, and thrills than actually attempting to be scary. The kills in the film are exceptional and director of photography Jonathan Sela (John Wick, Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2) delivers some incredibly captivating cinematography. There’s a scene where Mahogany knocks a woman’s head off her shoulders with his mallet that he’s always carrying around, but you see it all from her perspective; she puts her hands up as a last defense before the final blow, the room spins, the camera focuses on Mahogany and the headless corpse, he lowers his mallet as she blinks a few times, and the camera pans out from her eyeball to show her severed head.
Vinnie Jones has an overwhelming and powerful performance in The Midnight Meat Train. He doesn’t have much in the way of dialogue, but he makes a massive impact on screen because of his enormous presence. The English actor is 6’2”, so you’re already drawn to this big guy when he enters a room anyway, but give him a gigantic meat mallet and a desire to kill and he evolves into this unstoppable monster that many would consider frightening. Jones knows how to utilize his facial expressions and body language in a way that says more than any string of dialogue would.
The one issue with the film is that every person seemed to be able to sense when somebody else was behind them. While it made for some intriguing camera shots, the execution killed whatever attempts at suspense The Midnight Meat Train was going for. It would have been more satisfying to see at least one person get shanked or clocked in the temple without expecting it.
The Midnight Meat Train is a relentless gorefest that remains true to its source material. The horror film is worth a watch for any fan of Clive Barker’s work or horror films in general. There was this sinking gut feeling that the film wouldn’t keep the ending in tact since it seemed like it wouldn’t translate well on-screen. Without giving too much away, the ending is completely satisfying to those who are familiar with the short story. This is a remarkably excellent horror film that fails to get the recognition it deserves.
The Midnight Meat Train is currently streaming on Amazon Prime, YouTube, and Google Play for $1.99, on Vudu for $2.99, and iTunes for $3.99. The Multi-Format Blu-ray (which is the unrated director’s cut version of the film) is currently $6.50 with prime shipping on Amazon Prime and the DVD is running for $9.99 with prime shipping. On eBay, the pre-owned DVD is $4.58, the brand new DVD is $8.49, and the new Multi-Format Blu-ray is $10.98 and all three have free shipping.
The screenplay for the 2008 film was written by Jeff Buhler (writer for the 2019 remakes of Jacob’s Ladder, Pet Sematary, and The Grudge) and directed by Ryuhei Kitamura (Versus, Godzilla: Final Wars). Bradley Cooper stars as a struggling photographer named Leon Kauffman. While he’s secured a job as a photographer, he hasn’t been recognized as a professional just yet. But Leon has a meeting with a professional artist named Susan Hoff (Brooke Shields) that could potentially change his career status. In Leon’s eyes, he doesn’t think that any other photographer has really captured the heart of the city and that’s what he aims to do with his work. However, Susan’s criticism is that Leon is failing at his dream and to only see her again once he finds what he’s looking for.
Leon confronts some thugs during a mugging and documents the ordeal with his camera. The pictures impress Susan and she tells Leon that he’ll be featured in her next show if he brings her two more shots like the newest ones. Leon encounters Mahogany (Vinnie Jones), a butcher that works at a meat packing plant. Leon develops an obsession over Mahogany and stalks him constantly while photographing him wherever he goes. Leon suspects that Mahogany and the train he takes so late at night are the cause for so many missing people over the past three years. Leon doesn’t know how these people disappear until he follows Mahogany onto the train one fateful evening. But this operation is much more complex and dangerous than Leon first realized and his life is forever altered because of it.
This is one of the few times where the short story that inspired the film was read before seeing it. This is coming from someone who is a sporadic reader at best, but Clive Barker has been a personal favorite author for as long as this cynically bonkers brain can remember. Most of the films based on Clive Barker’s works come from The Books of Blood; Book of Blood (Volume One), Dread (Volume Two), Rawhead Rex (Volume Three), Quicksilver Highway (Volume Four, “The Body Politik”), Candyman (Volume Five, “The Forbidden”), and Lord of Illusions (Volume Six, “The Last Illusion”). Barker has always been able to build these incredibly terrifying worlds in his writing with demented characters while maintaining this richly horrifying atmosphere. Thinking so highly of Barker and admiring his work so much made expectations a little high for this film. This is also Ryuhei Kitamura’s first American and English-speaking film. The Midnight Meat Train is one of the few times where the final product actually exceeded expectations.
The Midnight Meat Train pays more attention to blood, gore, and thrills than actually attempting to be scary. The kills in the film are exceptional and director of photography Jonathan Sela (John Wick, Atomic Blonde, Deadpool 2) delivers some incredibly captivating cinematography. There’s a scene where Mahogany knocks a woman’s head off her shoulders with his mallet that he’s always carrying around, but you see it all from her perspective; she puts her hands up as a last defense before the final blow, the room spins, the camera focuses on Mahogany and the headless corpse, he lowers his mallet as she blinks a few times, and the camera pans out from her eyeball to show her severed head.
Vinnie Jones has an overwhelming and powerful performance in The Midnight Meat Train. He doesn’t have much in the way of dialogue, but he makes a massive impact on screen because of his enormous presence. The English actor is 6’2”, so you’re already drawn to this big guy when he enters a room anyway, but give him a gigantic meat mallet and a desire to kill and he evolves into this unstoppable monster that many would consider frightening. Jones knows how to utilize his facial expressions and body language in a way that says more than any string of dialogue would.
The one issue with the film is that every person seemed to be able to sense when somebody else was behind them. While it made for some intriguing camera shots, the execution killed whatever attempts at suspense The Midnight Meat Train was going for. It would have been more satisfying to see at least one person get shanked or clocked in the temple without expecting it.
The Midnight Meat Train is a relentless gorefest that remains true to its source material. The horror film is worth a watch for any fan of Clive Barker’s work or horror films in general. There was this sinking gut feeling that the film wouldn’t keep the ending in tact since it seemed like it wouldn’t translate well on-screen. Without giving too much away, the ending is completely satisfying to those who are familiar with the short story. This is a remarkably excellent horror film that fails to get the recognition it deserves.
The Midnight Meat Train is currently streaming on Amazon Prime, YouTube, and Google Play for $1.99, on Vudu for $2.99, and iTunes for $3.99. The Multi-Format Blu-ray (which is the unrated director’s cut version of the film) is currently $6.50 with prime shipping on Amazon Prime and the DVD is running for $9.99 with prime shipping. On eBay, the pre-owned DVD is $4.58, the brand new DVD is $8.49, and the new Multi-Format Blu-ray is $10.98 and all three have free shipping.
