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LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Jonah Hex (2010) in Movies
Feb 28, 2021
A recent re-watch of Jonah Hex went something like this:
- a lot of stuff happened before that title card that it's already incoherent
- wait, Michael Fassbender is in this?
- I can't see what's happening
- ah sweet, it's the dude from Mastodon.
- wait, Will Arnett is in this?
- Megan Fox really drew the short straw on a lot of her movie projects
- is that Michael Shannon!?
- ah sweet, it's the dude from John Wick.
- wait, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is in this!?
- once again, couldn't see what the fuck was happening because of the piss poor lighting, but Jonah Hex is nearly dead again, apparently.
- Ah cool, here's a mid-runtime action heavy sequence, still can't tell what's happening.
- wait....nope, it's over.
Christ, this movie is a blurry mess that's impressively hard to follow considering its short runtime. I love the Jonah Hex comics, I tend to enjoy Josh Brolin and John Malkovich, how is this such a trainwreck?
That Mastodon soundtrack is badass though.
- a lot of stuff happened before that title card that it's already incoherent
- wait, Michael Fassbender is in this?
- I can't see what's happening
- ah sweet, it's the dude from Mastodon.
- wait, Will Arnett is in this?
- Megan Fox really drew the short straw on a lot of her movie projects
- is that Michael Shannon!?
- ah sweet, it's the dude from John Wick.
- wait, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is in this!?
- once again, couldn't see what the fuck was happening because of the piss poor lighting, but Jonah Hex is nearly dead again, apparently.
- Ah cool, here's a mid-runtime action heavy sequence, still can't tell what's happening.
- wait....nope, it's over.
Christ, this movie is a blurry mess that's impressively hard to follow considering its short runtime. I love the Jonah Hex comics, I tend to enjoy Josh Brolin and John Malkovich, how is this such a trainwreck?
That Mastodon soundtrack is badass though.