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The Long Earth
The Long Earth
Terry Pratchett, Stephen Baxter | 2013 | Fiction & Poetry
9
7.7 (7 Ratings)
Book Rating
Step Day. A day that changed the world. A day when the designs for a strange device went viral. Relatively simple to make with a few electronic components and a potato, this small device allowed most people to move sideways into a parallel dimension... and from there they could keep going exploring multiple copies of Earth, each different and all of them untouched and available for colonisation by the population of the overcrowded, overdeveloped and worn out original.

Joshua Valiente is an orphan who discovers that he doesn't actually need a box to move dimensions - to Step - he is a natural, like a few others before him that have already discovered what becomes known as the Long Earth and have kept it to themselves. Big business isn't slow to take advantage, particularly the huge, powerful and shadowy Black Corporation, whose distributed super computer Lobsang claims to be the reincarnation of a Tibetan mechanic. Together Joshua and Lobsang will discover a few of the secrets of the Long Earth, as well as witnessing the worst it brings out in humanity.

With this central idea, Pratchett and Baxter tell the tales of various people affected by the events of Step Day in very different ways. As with the rest of humanity, the narrative is restless, keen to both rush out and see how far along the Long Earth it can travel and to watch how it turns the Earth we all know on its head. This is a book of wonders, a little like Gulliver's Travels in finding interesting variations to explore.

Those expecting the usual slew of jokes, gags, footnotes and humorous characters that typify his Discworld novels will be disappointed. There are light touches to the situations and characters that betray his hand but this is straight science fiction by two great authors who between them manage to convey the huge scale of thousands - millions - of Earths while still being able to tell the story from a human perspective.
  
Parental Guidance (2012)
Parental Guidance (2012)
2012 | Comedy
6
6.2 (6 Ratings)
Movie Rating
I don’t really know where to start with this review. I guess I’ll start with what I’m expecting to see when I see a preview. I’m really bad at assuming I know what’s going to happen. Sometimes I’m right, happily sometimes I’m wrong, and then there are times, like with this movie, where it’s half and half.

The movie starts out with Artie Decker (Billy Crystal) as ‘de voice’ of his local Grizzlies’ baseball team. He’s really good at commentating and he loves doing it but after the last game of the season he gets fired. It’s predictable why he’s fired, basically he doesn’t poke or tweet, and I think they thought they hit gold with that moment of comedy but for me, eh. When he gets home his wife Diane (Bette Midler) comforts him. He’s lost for a moment since he wasn’t ready to stop but then decides he should chase his dream to commentate for the Giants though he doesn’t know where to start.

We shoot over to Alice Simmons (Marisa Tomei) Artie and Diane’s daughter, and her husband Phil, (Tom Everett Scott) who live in such a modern electronic home that it’s actually all controlled by a beta system called Rlife. Rlife can be programmed for alarm times, music, food, pretty much everything for each family member. This Rlife is Phil’s dream he gets invited to a conference to get his Rlife hopefully in production. Alice is going to with him, kind of a semi work vacation and they need Artie and Diane to watch the kids for a week.

What makes the divide even greater between Alice and her kids from Artie is that Alice and Phil are raising their kids in a new school that is different from Artie’s old school, tough love and strict rules. They use phrases like ‘use your words’ or if you give a ‘put down’ you have to give ‘three ups’ and you can’t use the word ‘no’ you have to say ‘think about the consequences’.

Their oldest, a young teen, is their only daughter Harper, Bailee Madison, who is extremely uptight and carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Next we have the two boys, Turner, Joshua Rush, middle schooler, who stutters and is shy because of it, and the youngest Barker, Kyle Harrison Breitkopf, who is basically toddler with lots of energy, but seems to get away with a lot of bad behavior.

Diane realizes that they are the other grand parents, the ones that their grand kids don’t really like. Long story short, it’s supposed to be about being open to new ideas but it just feels like old school versus new school. Billy’s Crystal’s comedy and Bette Middler’s and Marisa Tomei’s acting can pull it out of the boredom for some laughs and good moments and there are a few situational laughs with the children as well, but that’s about it.

The truly redeeming quality to this movie, besides the three main actors is the ending, the last ten minutes. It’s a surprising heartwarming ending, and only slightly predictable. It sounds crazy but it actually brings the whole movie up from a two star to a three star for me. One last thing is that the guest I went with has two children of her own and tried to get me to change my rating from three to four. I really can’t do that but I think that means that if you have children of your own you might enjoy this a little bit more than I did.

Bottom line, renter, unless you love Bily Crystal.