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Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017)
2017 | Sci-Fi
Where to begin with Luc Besson? The masterpiece of Leon aside, he is notorious for creating beautifully bonkers visual treats that twist and turn like a monkey on cocaine, making as much sense. This comic book adaptation starts well, with some jaw dropping CG design and a decent concept – it truly is a dreamscape of glorious colour and imagination rarely matched… but so is Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and we all know how awful that is.

He just doesn’t have the knack with story and character in the same way as he does with the visuals, often leaving you with the impression that even the actors are confused by what is going on, and why, and what the hell is coming out of their mouths as an excuse for dialogue.

I like Dane De Haan, he has shown a lot of promise in some valiant near misses, such as Chronicle, The Place Beyond the Pines and The Cure For Wellness – three films I enjoyed, with reservations, that were better for him being in them – but he has not quite made it to the A-list as yet. Here, opposite the gorgeously cute but somehow hollow presence Cara Delevingne, he is burdened by a love story with no chemistry and some cringe-worthy banter. As the film ultimately focuses and depends on the likability of this relationship it inevitably fails; melting into comic book kookiness that loses a lot in translation.

I almost found myself hating them and wishing they would die painfully so the film could end, but not quite as much as I hated how fundamentally terrible Clive Owen was as the villain – I mean, so awkward and awful it made how uncomfortable Harrison Ford seemed in Ender’s Game look like an Oscar worthy performance. Risible. Inexcusable. Inexplicable. But that’s Besson where let loose into the realm of full sci-fi.

One corner of joy was Rihanna as the shape-shifting Bubble, who showed a charm and talent for film acting I hadn’t quite expected, and how much fun Ethan Hawke had dressing up and hamming it up as Jolly, her pimp. But essentially, you’d be better off turning the sound off completely and just drinking in the spectrum of imaginative design on display. A film that may hold some cult status into the future, and one small children may get oddly addicted to, but as a functioning and satisfying cinematic story… just, no.
  
The Nightingale (2018)
The Nightingale (2018)
2018 | Adventure, Drama, Thriller
Verdict: Shocking & Intense

Story: The Nightingale starts as an Irish convict Clare (Franciosi) is forced to work under British Officer Hawkins (Claflin) to pay off her debts, which usually involves cleaning and performing a song to the soldiers, until one day he goes too far by raping her, Clare is desperate to get out of her debt, to which she has paid off, but Hawkins won’t release her.
Confronting Hawkins with her husband Aidan (Sheasby), it leads to Hawkins not getting his promotion and Hawkins makings Clare pay with his men Ruse (Herriman) and Jago (Greenwood). Left completely broken Clare is put in contact with aboriginal tracker Billy (Ganambarr), as she goes in search for revenge on the men that took everything from him.

Thoughts on The Nightingale

Characters – Clare is an Irish convict, she has been released from jail to work off her time cleaning and using her beautiful singing voice to entertain the soldiers. She is coping with her time until Hawkins refuses her chance to have her freedom, being subjected to violence from the soldiers, with nothing left she is hellbent on revenge and isn’t in this journey to make any friends or want anybody’s sympathy, she just wants blood. Billy is an aboriginal tracker that reluctantly agrees to help Clare on her journey, he doesn’t want trouble, he is tired of how the white man has treated his kind, believing at first that Clare is just like the rest, until he learns the truth. The two have some true heart to heart moments as well as having moments which will give you a laugh too. Hawkins is a English officer that believes he should be given a promotion to a vacant captain role, he can’t control his soldiers and his aggression sees him leaving bodies in his path, making him have enemies coming from all directions, as he looks to arrive for his latest position. Ruse and Jago are the two soldiers that are also involved in the attack on Clare and her family, they are just as cowardly as Hawkins.
Performances – Aisling Franciosi gives us one of the most grounded and exceptional performances of recent years, she shows us the pure vengeance her character is going through, right next to the grief she would have experienced. Sam Claflin brings us one of the most horrendous humans to life with his performance, one that will leave almost wanting to hate the actors for his performance being so horrid. Baykali Ganambarr is wonderful too showing us the pain that a generation of people would have suffered through during the events of the film.
Story – The story here follows a young woman that sees everything taken from her in an act of violence by military men and seeks her own form of revenge. Where this story steps up comes from breaking certain traditions, while the opening actions are always going to be hard to watch and give the motivation required for Clare determination for revenge. Once we get on the war path, this isn’t a calm calculated plan for revenge like we have seen before, this is a cold complete emptiness reaction to the horrors she experiences with her journey being the only time she properly starts to grieve what she has been through. This is a new level of revenge movie that isn’t just revenge on this one action, it feels like a moment that wants to show the people that the white English soldiers walked all over. Wonderful story telling throughout.
Thriller – This is a tense thriller that shows the path of revenge that one lady and her tracker go on after being wronged by acts of violence by English soldiers.
Settings – The film uses the settings amazingly to show the world that Clare goes into and how the trackers are the only way to get through the outback in Tasmanian wilderness safely.

Scene of the Movie – The last song.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – The English Soldiers.
Final Thoughts – This is one of the best revenge films you will see, it has a different style to anything you have seen before with performances that are true heavyweight ones.

Overall: Brilliant.
  
(This review can be found on my blog <a href="http://themisadventuresofatwentysomething.blogspot.com/">The (Mis)Adventures of a Twenty-Something Year Old Girl</a>).


When I first read about The Rules for Disappearing by Ashley Elston, I knew I had to read this book. I was thrilled when I won an ARC copy from a blog giveaway. I was even happier that the book was even better then I thought it was going to be.

Thankfully, the book synopsis does an excellent job in describing what the book is going to be about. I'm super thankful because a lot of book blurbs these days tend to just give you the bare minimum of what the book will be about or something completely different. Anyway, since you've read above what the book is about, I won't try to tell you again since most people find it boring.

I absolutely love the title! It screams out at you to check this book out (okay, it did to me). The title is also what the chapter names are called. With each chapter, you also get a rule for disappearing, so this title is perfect!

Whilst I loved the title, I wasn't thrilled with the cover. I just felt that with what this books about and everything contained within the pages, the cover would've been better. Yes, I get that it's about up and leaving, but just showing a pair of legs running is a bit too bland. In fact, I wasn't going to bother with this book when I saw the cover, but I thought I'd give the book blurb a read which is what changed my mind. So please don't let the cover fool you into thinking this is a dull book because it's not.

I thought the world building was fantastic. I enjoyed reading about how it'd be living in the Witness Protection Program, and I must say, I'm glad that I never had to do something like that even if it would be cool to pick your own name. Elston gives us an up close and personal look into the life of someone who has to deal with this. I felt, at times, that it was me in the place of Meg. That's how real the world building felt. One thing that bothered me though was how trusting one of the adults was in this book. I won't go into details because I don't want to go into spoilers, but I just couldn't imagine any adult would let someone take off with hardly any questions asked.

The pacing was absolutely perfect! This whole book was one big page-turner. I kept telling myself I'd only read one more chapter and then get back to real life. Before I knew it, I'd finished the book. I had to know what was going to happen next. Not once does the pacing become dull.

The plot was fantastic! I'd never read a book that had to do with the Witness Protection Program. I loved the way the plot was written and the predicament of Meg getting close to Ethan. It was very interesting to read about everything and to see how things would play out. I did, however, predict who the baddie really was, and I was right. I had pretty much seen it coming since that character was mentioned, but the story was still interesting to read. I just wish the ending would've explained a bit more, but I've just read that there will be a sequel out next year so hopefully things will be explained more then.

I absolutely loved the characters! Meg was a very strong character throughout the whole book. The way she handled things was very interesting to read about. I liked how she was torn and how she'd rationalize things especially when it came to getting close to Ethan. I enjoyed how much Ethan was willing to put on the line to get close to Meg. He was a true gentleman, but not over the top like you get in cheesy romance novels. I loved his dedication to Meg. Teeny seemed to act like that of an 8 year child instead of an 11 year old girl. The book says she acts younger because of what she's been through with having to move house and change lives every so many weeks. I just didn't buy it. She acted too young almost all the time! While I did enjoy the character of Teeny, I just wish she would've acted her age a little more throughout the book. Pearl was definitely my favorite character, and while she isn't mentioned a lot, I still loved whenever she'd show up in the book. I loved her sweet nature and how she was willingly to help anyone out.

The interactions between the characters was very believable and never felt forced. Even the swearing never felt forced. The dialogue is very enjoyable, and I enjoyed it the most when Meg was forced with a problem. I loved reading about how she was going to solve it. Like I said, there is some bad language, but I'd say it's only moderate.

Overall, The Rules for Disappearing by Ashley Elston is an interesting, refreshing read as well as a book that keeps you hooked until the very end.

I'd recommend this book to those aged 14+ who just want a good book to read.

I'd give The Rules for Disappearing by Ashley Elston a 4.5 out of 5.
  
Summoned (Summoned, #1)
Summoned (Summoned, #1)
Rainy Kaye | 2014 | Erotica
8
6.0 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
<em>Summoned</em> follows a 23-year-old genie named Dimitri - who, in typical genie fashion - is bound by his master to fulfill wishes. The twist is that Dimitri's master isn't limited to just 3 but has no limit.

The story opens with Dimitri fulfilling a kidnapping request followed by his inevitable rest period directly after - where he meets Syd in a dive bar. From there the story just gets a little weird - Dimitri takes Syd home and they end up having sex literally right away (nothing against it cause whatever floats your boat right?) But it was practically as soon as they got in Dimitri's house.

For a book that generally is considered fantasy with a bit of romance thrown in there's an awful lot of sex and it's rushed sex - almost as if the author felt a little weird writing the scenes - Syd is all kinds of crazy stalker as well, like she steals his number from his phone, turns up on his doorstep unannounced and threatens to slash his tires kinda crazy.
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #f6c7b7;">∞</span></h2>
The master - Karl - is an millionaire arse. I have nothing good to say about him whatsoever. Generally, Dimitri can rest for a day or two before Karl makes another wish but Karl starts to make make a new wish every day - Silvia is Karl's daughter and she screams spoiled rich girl who wants to breed with Dimitri - her inheritance.

It's all kinds of messed up.

Dimitri does a job for Karl and goes home to rest only to get a call from Stalker Syd going a little crazy on him for abandoning her - I forgot to mention that when Karl wants a wish he summons Dimitri to a chamber - the following day after yet more rushed sex Karl has another wish for Dimitri where he has to steal a safe - only he <em>fails</em>.

When Dimitri fails to fulfill a wish the buzz in his head grows and he ends up getting a really bad migraine until he fulfills his wish or pigs fly and Karl recant the wish.
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #f6c7b7;">∞</span></h2>
Syd is all kinds of crazy. I don't think much of her character at all, it's like she's got her heart invested after a one night stand and then goes crazy everyone Dimitri doesn't do what she expects him to do.
<blockquote>"You're just gone so much." Syd's voice sounds so empty and hollow. "I never really know when you'll be back, what you're doing, or anything at all. I don't want to be that needy girlfriend, but it's so frustrating. I know it was meant to be casual, but I thought it could be... more. I just wanted some way to know you were thinking of me."</blockquote>
They've been having sex - not even dating - for what feels like 2 days but is more like 3 weeks or so. Little cray cray.

Silvia Walker is also all kinds of crazy - she wants to breed with Dimitri even if it's against his wishes, she murders small furry animals and she smokes like a chimney.  She's got it into her head that Dimitri is the love of her life even though he makes it abundantly clear that he can't stand the sight of her. To make matters worse, she finds out that her daddy is trying to sire a son to make sure she doesn't receive her inheritance.
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #f6c7b7;">∞</span></h2>
Although it's a very good concept - a power hungry, slightly crazy millionaire with his own personal genie to fulfill any and every wish he wants - there was just something missing. I don't know maybe the book was too short and the story was a little rushed for me, the insta-love between Dimitri and Syd bugged the ever-loving crap out of me.

The story as a whole was just too rushed for my tastes and at times I didn't get why something was happening or why Dimitri sounded like a stupid teenager, or why for an "all-powerful" master Karl was an absolute douchebag about a lot of stuff.Like wishing Dimitri kills Syd for one - what's his deal?

It had one <em>hell</em> of a twist at the end though. I didn't expect that all which is what pushed this review up from a 3 to a 3.5.
<blockquote>I'm no longer Leo, or Alan, or Alex.
I'm Dimitri.
And I'm free.</blockquote>
&nbsp;
  
12 Monkeys (1995)
12 Monkeys (1995)
1995 | Drama, Sci-Fi
I'll have a Monkey on the rocks, with a twist...
The time is the future; The world has been ravaged by a bio-engineered plague,and the powers-that-be have decided it's time to do something about it.

Their decision? Put the half-nelson on a poor, unhappy convict (Willis) and tell him he's going back in time to hunt down the source, and kill the lunatic that released the bug before he can do it, thus changing history. Armed with just the knowledge that he's looking for a group called 'The 12 Monkeys', he is dispatched, only to find himself in an unforseen conflict with the local law and a Section 8.

Great performance from Willis, but it was while watching this film that I realised that Brad Pitt is actually more than a pretty face.

One of the best twists in the end of a tale I have ever seen.

This is definitley one of my desert island films, so I'm not really good at objectivity when discussing it but if you like slighty off-the-wall film entertainment I'd say this is a must.
  
T(
Truth (Alex Conner Chronicles, #2)
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Life is a tornado for Alex Connor as we continue where we left off in book one. Now she is training hard for a fight that will test her strength and will. This book has everything in it. A weird love triangle and some interesting guys. Alex reunites with her mother and now is looking for her dad.
I have been pulling for Justin since book one hoping that she would pick him. I would’ve never guess the twist she throws at us in this book. Ryan doesn’t do it for me so I’m hoping that he cast some spell on her. Lol!
You get so much from these books that you don’t want to put them down or wait for the next book. I love the mystery and all the magic the author wrote. I also enjoyed how Alex could be sweet or spicy. The different powers and possibilities the author gives us just sucks you in.
I don’t really like love triangles because someone always gets hurt and this book is clearly no different. It’s not that hard to pick one guy. But we wouldn’t be reading if we didn’t enjoy a little drama.
  
Game Night (2018)
Game Night (2018)
2018 | Comedy, Mystery
Slapstick was solid (1 more)
Some of the dialog was quite good
Depiction of Games (some of your favorites are Risk, Scrabble, and Life.) (0 more)
Better than I expected.
We live in the golden age of games, there are amazing card games, and board games that are better than anything that was around in the 70's. Yet these people who have game nights weekly don't seem to know about anything that was invented in the last 40 years. Pictionary, and charades are go-to games for them. Please don't get me wrong, I quite enjoy playing those games to. But it would be as if there was a movie about Art appreciators , and everyone in the film had only seen art that was painted before the 1900's, just completely omitting anything modern is absurd.

It would've taken almost no effort to include a few modern board games, like Ticket to Ride, 7 Wonders, Sushi Go, or Settlers of Catan.

   All that said, I finally watched this film and enjoyed it for the most part. Rachel McAdams was awesome, and stole the show.... Batemen was himself and solid. The cop almost derailed the movie for me he was so creepy.