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Free Birds (2013)
Free Birds (2013)
2013 | Animation, Comedy
7
5.1 (8 Ratings)
Movie Rating
A Fun Thanksgiving Flick
When asked to list films worth watching that have a Thanksgiving theme, the BankofMarquis likes to pull out a little animated gem that came and went pretty quickly in 2013 - FREE BIRDS - starring the voices of Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson as 2 turkeys that go back in time in an egg-shaped time machine named STEVE (voiced by George Takei - more on that later) to stop the first Thanksgiving. This film succeeds more than it doesn't.

The first full length animated feature film from REEL FX (one of only 2 they have put out thus far) FREE BIRDS suffers from that kiss of death - multiple writers revising the script over time. Directed by JImmy Hayward (HORTON HEARS A WHO), who is also credited with writing this film alongside long time Kevin Smith collaborator Scott Mosier,FREE BIRDS is actually a pretty fun film, despite the disjointedness of the plot.

Credit should go to the stellar voice cast, led by Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson. They have tremendous chemistry together and are a fun pair to watch. Joining them is the always dependable Amy Poehler (who would shine as the voice of Joy years later in Pixar's INSIDE OUT). It was fun spending an hour and a half with these 3 - and the others in this cast: Colm Meaney, David Keith and Dan Fogler.

But, for me, the star of this film is Star Trek's George Takei as the voice of S.T.E.V.E (the egg-shaped time machine device). He understands what type of film he is in and delivers just the right blend of comedy and seriousness that helps elevate the proceedings. And that is good for, as I stated above, the plot is a bit disjointed, so I would recommend you just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

The critics panned this film, but it made over $110 million at the box office (more than doubling it's production cost), so many, many moviegoers had the same, fun experience that I did.

And...you will, too...if you give FREE BIRDS a try.

Letter Grade: B

7 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
FIRESTARTER (2022)
FIRESTARTER (2022)
2022 | Action, Horror
3
4.4 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Commits the Biggest Film Crime - It's Boring
Sometimes, I watch a movie, so you don’t have to.

I watched the remake of the Stephen King novel FIRESTARTER, so you don’t have to.

The current “leader in the clubhouse” for the worst film of 2022, FIRESTARTER is based on the very good Stephen King novel that was published in 1980 and was made into a pretty cheesy, pretty ‘80s flick in 1984 that made Drew Barrymore (fresh off her work in ET) a bonafide movie star.

No such luck in this one.

Produced by Blum House, Directed by Keith Thomas (THE VIGIL) and adapted from King’s novel by Scott Teems (HALLOWEEN KILLS), this version of FIRESTARTER was dead on arrival, with a weak script, mediocre directing and less than stellar visual effects, consequently making a film that is the worst sort of film…boring. It doesn’t even have the ambition to be “so bad, it’s good”, it is just plodding and mediocre throughout.

But, at 1 hour 34 minutes, it is mercifully short, so it does have that going for it.

What it also has going for it is a “game” Zach Efron as “Firestarter’s Father” and he elevates the scenes he is in to something that comes close to watchable. And when Sydney Lemmon is along as “Firestarter’s Mom” the screen comes the closest to interesting. But the rest…”meh”.

Ryan Kiera Armstrong plays “Firestarter”, Charlie McGee - the young lady who can start fires with her telepathic powers - and she is “just fine”, but she does not have the star power or “it” factor that Barrymore brought to the proceedings previously. She is just not a compelling enough presence on screen to save this turkey. I don’t blame her, I blame the weak Direction by Thomas and the limp script by Teems.

The only other character/performance that sparks some interest in this film is Michael Grayeyes (TOGO) who plays a Native American tracker with his own telekinetic powers who is put on the trail of Charlie by the mysterious Institute (a shadowy Gov’t agency that chases after various “special” people - mostly kids - in quite a few Stephen King novels). Inexplicably, this role was played by an aging, pony-tailed George C. Scott (obviously chasing a paycheck) in the 1984 film. Grayeyes succeeds more.

But these glimmers of competence only aggravates more when the film bogs back down in cardboard villains (what has happened to your career, Gloria Ruben) and exposition spouting scientists (what a waste of Kurtwood Smith) and less than spectacular action sequences that, mostly, consist of Armstrong screaming while a wind machine blows her hair back while sub-par CGI flames engulf the screen.

And…adding insult to injury…the "guy in the asbestos suit” (a mainstay of any film involving fire) does not even get a day of stunt pay! It’s like going to see a Tom Cruise Mission Impossible film and Cruise doesn’t do some sort of crazy stunt!

After the success of IT, PART ONE in 2017, there was a renaissance, of sorts, of adaptations of Stephen King works and even though PET SEMATARY (2019) was pretty decent and IT, CHAPTER TWO and DOCTOR SLEEP (2019) were okay, THE DARK TOWER, the TV remake of THE STAND, LISEY’S STORY and now FIRESTARTER were all terrible, so maybe we’ve seen the end of this phase of King adaptations (I doubt it, but one can hope).

Save yourself and hour and a half of your life and skip this Firestarter. Instead, revisit the 1984 version - it plays like an Oscar-winner compared to this turkey. Or, better yet, read the original Stephen King work - it is the best of all of these.

Letter Grade: C- (and I’m being generous)

3 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis).