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Fast & Furious 9 (2021)
Fast & Furious 9 (2021)
2021 | Action, Adventure, Crime
F9 The Fast Saga Does Not Offer Anything New But Serves Up An Abundance Of High-Octane; Over The Top Action
After being delayed from a summer 2020 release by the Pandemic; Universal has released the latest film in the Fast and The Furious franchise to fans eager for some adrenaline-fueled summer action.

“F9 The Fast Saga” has done well in the few countries it has already been released, and has raced to a nearly $300 million total which the industry hopes is a signal that people are ready to return to cinemas in numbers again and that the film will take off when it opens in the U.S. and other markets.

The film opens with a flashback to the 1980s where young Dominic and his brother experience an event that changes their lives and drives a wedge between them. Moving forward to the present day, Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), are living in seclusion with Dom’s son.

When the crew shows up unexpectedly with a mission from Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell); who has gone missing, the crew venture out to retrieve a missing device which in turn puts them directly in the path with nefarious individuals and a ghost from Dom’s past.

As anyone who has watched any films in the series knows; the plots are often thin and a bit absurd as they serve simply as a device for the cast to assemble and chase a McGuffin to save the day. In doing so; the audience knows there will be an abundance of fists, bullets, cars, crashes, and outrageous stunts along the way.

While reality and credibility are not words associated with the franchise, the cast eagerly plays along with the absurdity, action, and mayhem and gives fans what they want. While the middle portion dragged while the audience was given more of the setup and introduced to cast members old and new; the action sequences are the over-the-top show stoppers which have become a staple of the franchise.

Director Justin Lin knows this and his return to the franchise does not attempt to invoke any new wrinkles and gives fans what they expect. The large ensemble works well with one another and John Cena is a very interesting addition to the cast.

Audiences will want to make sure to stay seated for a bonus scene that sets up the next film or spin-off very well and opens up some very interesting possibilities.

In the end “F9 The Fast Saga” gives audiences a dose of high-octane adrenaline and a return to no-brainer over the top action when it is needed the most. Check your brain at the door, strap in, and enjoy the ride.

3.5 stars out of 5
  
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Movie Metropolis (309 KP) rated Deepwater Horizon (2016) in Movies

Jun 10, 2019 (Updated Jun 10, 2019)  
Deepwater Horizon (2016)
Deepwater Horizon (2016)
2016 | Action, Drama
Disaster with feeling
“Based on true events”. I can’t think of anything more disconcerting when I sit down to watch a film. When it comes to blockbusters inspired by real-life situations, the outcome can be a poignant movie that captures the heart and emotion of the episode – a la American Sniper.

Unfortunately, films in this genre can also be a disaster from start to finish with a story barely related to its real-life counterpart. You can forgive me then for going into Deepwater Horizon with an air of scepticism, but was it justified?

Thankfully, director Peter Berg (Hancock, Battleship) strikes the right balance between pleasing the movie-going masses and respecting the events that took the lives of eleven people aboard the Deepwater Horizon oil rig.

Based on the events that occurred in the Gulf of Mexico on April 20, 2010, the story chronicles the courage of those who worked on the Deepwater Horizon and the extreme moments of bravery and survival in the face of what would become one of the biggest man-made disasters in world history.

Mark Wahlberg takes the helm of this intriguing action thriller as Mike Williams, an electrician working on the rig during the explosion. A supporting cast that includes Kurt Russell, Gina Rodriguez, John Malkovich and The Maze Runner’s Dylan O’Brien bolster Wahlberg’s natural charisma and each of the aforementioned actors give first-rate performances.

The acting from all sides is superb. Mark Wahlberg in particular excels, being one of his best roles to date. His work has been decidedly dodgy over the last few years but his performance here shows just how good he is with the right material.

Nevertheless, at its core, Deepwater Horizon is a simple disaster movie, and carries the genre’s traits to a tee; there’s the obligatory hero (Mark Wahlberg), the boss/politician who doesn’t believe anything is wrong (John Malkovich), the bombastic score (courtesy of Steve Jablonsky) and the damsel in distress (Gina Rodriguez). What it does differently however is focus more on the human elements of the plot – something helped by the fact the scriptwriters had factual events to pick from.

The special effects are astounding, aided greatly by Peter Berg’s often hectic camerawork. There’s very little shaky-cam but the claustrophobic nature of the rig itself is beautifully utilised in low angled shots and sweeping exterior sequences. The scenes showing the rig on fire are so intense you can virtually feel the heat radiating from them.

It almost feels like a documentary, and a very good one at that. The audience is given references throughout the film of Deepwater Horizon’s many functions and the scale of the behemoth is apparent throughout.

Overall, to say Deepwater Horizon is a cracking disaster film feels like a slight disservice to the eleven people who died aboard it in 2010. Having Peter Berg direct was a risky move when looking at his back-catalogue but after a viewing, it’s hard to think of anyone else better suited.

This is a disaster movie with feeling and it’s one of the best films of the year.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2016/09/30/disaster-with-feeling-deepwater-horizon-review/
  
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
2017 | Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi
Saving the Universe is bound to get you noticed, and in “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2”, we find the dysfunctional Guardians reaping the benefits of their newly found notoriety by being hired to resolve threats all over the galaxy.

The film opens with Peter Quill (Chris Pratt), Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Drax (Dave Bautista), Rocket (Bradley Cooper), and Groot (Vin Diesel), battling a gigantic creature at the request of a race known as the Sovereign.

During a frantic and hysterical battle the crew is eventually triumphant and accepts their payment, which is the form of Nebula (Karen Gillan), who the crew look to turn in for a very lucrative bounty and settle some old scores in the process.

Of course their naturally ability to find trouble arises thanks to Rocket, and soon they have a very large and motivated new enemy gunning for them which results in them crashing on a remote planet. A mysterious benefactor named Ego (Kurt Russell), arrives and claims to have a connection with Peter and he, Gamora, and Drax head off with Ego and his assistant Mantis (Pom Klementieff), to his planet while the rest of the crew repair the ship.

As if things were not complicated enough, Yondu (Michael Rooker) and his crew of Revengers arrive hoping to collect a Bounty on the Guardians that has the group divided and facing serious danger.

A new and greater threat is soon discovered and despite internal tensions and conflicts, the Guardians must once again risk everything to save the universe once again.

The new film hits the ground running with plenty of action and humor and gives the characters new and old plenty of great moments that really expand upon their characters. The only issue is that the film does have some slow pacing in the middle as we are given numerous CGI landscapes where the crew walks around talking, but little else. With such a large cast, this is done to allow the characters to grow and new ones to be properly introduced, but it can at times drag on. Thankfully the finale is filled with the trademark humor and action that fans have come to expect which although very CGI heavy does result in a very satisfying and surprisingly touching finale.

The cast works well with one another and the jokes fly frequently throughout. Writer/Director James Gunn has done a great job in expanding the characters and introducing new ones as we see new layers of complexity to the characters that explain their actions and motivations in ways not usually shown in comic themed movies.

I would strongly suggest waiting through the credits for the numerous bonus scenes and keep an eye out during the film for some special surprises as the film is littered with them.

As the characters will soon transition to “The Avengers: Infinity War” which is currently filming audiences will not have to wait as long to see the dysfunctional Guardians family on their next outing, and thankfully we have an enjoyable new outing to enjoy until then.

http://sknr.net/2017/05/03/guardians-galaxy-vol-2/
  
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Movie Metropolis (309 KP) rated Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) in Movies

Jun 10, 2019 (Updated Jun 10, 2019)  
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
2017 | Action, Comedy, Sci-Fi
We have a problem
To say 2014’s Guardians of the Galaxy was a surprise hit is a slight understatement. Many had predicted Marvel’s gamble to sink the studio with its unknown characters and very unique sense of style, but it ended up being one of the year’s best films grossing nearly $800million.

Three years on, director James Gunn returns with the plucky group of space stars. But can lightning strike twice? Or have the Guardians had their time to shine?

Star Lord (Chris Pratt), Gamora (Zoe Saldana), Rocket (Bradley Cooper), Drax (Dave Bautista) and Baby Groot (Vin Diesel) struggle to keep their newfound family together as they desperately try to unravel the mystery of Peter Quill’s true parentage in the outer reaches of the galaxy.

To our cast of space vigilantes, James Gunn has thrown in a few new personas and fleshed out some secondary characters, resulting in a film that rivals Avengers: Age of Ultron for the amount of people jostling for screen-time. Unfortunately, Volume 2 also suffers from many of the same problems as its earthly stablemate.

The biggest joy of watching Guardians 2 is seeing those secondary characters getting their chance in the spotlight. In particular, Michael Rooker’s Yondu makes a massive impact throughout the running time and is a highlight throughout. Elsewhere, Karen Gillan’s villainous Nebula gets a similar treatment, though not quite to the same extent.

Moreover, the team we have all come to know and love is on fine form, even if they are split from one another for the majority of the film. Chris Pratt is probably the biggest star in Hollywood at the moment and he looks like he’s having the time of his life. However, it’s not Star Lord that shines brightest this time around. That honour goes to Dave Bautista’s Drax.

The addition of Kurt Russell as Pratt’s father, Ego is an ingenious piece of casting and his ‘pet’ Mantis, played wonderfully by Pom Klementieff steals the show in every scene. Her brief moments with Bautista are where the film really succeeds.

Another witty script crafted by James Gunn and Nicole Perlman ensures that Guardians 2 is absolutely hilarious. Some of the one-liners are absolute corkers and it often outdoes its predecessor, raising the bar very high for future Marvel projects in the process.

To look at, Volume 2 is pleasant if unspectacular. Colourful? Yes. Detailed? Not so much. With so much going on at once, it’s easy for the film to feel overwhelmed with some of the CGI being downright poor. The opening scene in which our heroes battle a hideous octopus-like beast, whilst fun to watch, isn’t crafted to the same level as its predecessor’s introductory sequence. The finale is a little anti-climactic, unfortunately falling into the same pitfalls that so many big blockbusters do nowadays – needless and frankly ugly CGI.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2 is another accomplished film in the ever-expanding Marvel Cinematic Universe. However, like Avengers: Age of Ultron, it suffers from its predecessor’s popularity and is overstuffed with too many characters elbowing for screen-time.

Unfortunately, the new approach the first film took has disappeared a little this time around. Because Volume 1 was such a delightful change from the rest of the crowd-pleasing blockbusters, Guardians 2 was bound to be a bit of a disappointment.


https://moviemetropolis.net/2017/04/28/we-have-a-problem-guardians-of-the-galaxy-2-review/
  
Fast & Furious 9 (2021)
Fast & Furious 9 (2021)
2021 | Action, Adventure, Crime
Enjoyable...enough
If you have any interest in checking out F9:THE FAST SAGA, then you have seen at least 1 (if not more) of the other 9 films in this series - and you pretty much know what to expect.

And this film delivers on that expectation - no more, no less.

Director Justin Lin - a veteran of these films - knows what needs to happen in this series. So we get fast cars, macho men, kick-ass women, super villains and over-the-top stunts and situations. All brought to us with a wink and a shrug. Unapologetic about the absurdities that we are viewing (not to spoil, but I don’t think magnets really work the way they work in this film) and “upping the ante” at every turn.

This film largely delivers…if not spectacularly. The action sequences (which is really why we watch these films) are “good enough”. Nothing really new here, but I caught myself cackling at the events on the screen from time to time.

The “family” is back together and Vin Diesel & Michelle Rodriguez are the pseudo Mom and Dad of this ragtag group of heroes that include the smart one (Game Of Thrones’ Nathalie Emanuel) and the wise guys (Chris “Ludicrous” Bridges and Tyrese Gibson) - who know exactly what type of film they are making and what their roles in this film are as well as the “emotional center”, Jordana Brewster. All of these deliver their wooden lines with gritty resolve while clenching their jaws during their close-ups during the action scenes.

There also is a boatload of cameos from veterans of previous Fast and Furious films from the likes of Kurt Russell, Helen Mirren, Lucas Black, Shea Wigham and Charlize Theron as well as brief appearances by “newcomers” like Michael Rooker and Cardi B. They all join in on the fun at the appropriate level and look like they are having a good time.

The biggest disappointment for me was John Cena as the main villain in this piece. He just wasn’t “villainous” enough and came off pretty generic and “meh” - never a good thing for a bad guy in these types of films.

Oh…and there is a “surprise return” by a presumably thought dead character, that is no surprise at all, since his face is shown prominently in the advertisements for this film. I won’t spoil it for you here, but he does bring some needed energy to this film. Which leads me to speculate that Gal Gadot will probably show up in the next film (her character was killed off many Fast and Furious films ago when she started becoming a SuperStar).

Ultimately, what is missing from F9 is some “fun energy”. Something that…oh…a good villain…or someone like…Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson would bring. But, alas, “The Rock” and Vin Diesel did not get along in their previous outings together, so we will need to limp along with what we have.

Which is what the 10th film in this Universe ultimately does - limp along just good enough to be enjoyable, but not more than that, which makes F9 neither Fast nor Furious.

Letter Grade: B

7 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
Deepwater Horizon (2016)
Deepwater Horizon (2016)
2016 | Action, Drama
“Full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing” could be a summary of this modern-age disaster movie. In 2010 the “Deepwater Horizon” drilling rig off the coast of Louisiana failed in spectacular fashion, bursting into flames and spewing millions of barrels of crude oil into the Gulf of Mexico in what was the worst oil-spill in American history. Mark Wahlberg plays the well-respected electrical ‘Mr fixit’ Mike Williams on the rig, reporting to the Operations Manager Jimmy Harrell (Kurt Russell).

The exploratory project is way-behind and BP are not happy. Big-wigs from the company add support to Donald Vidrine, the BP site leader, in applying mounting pressure on Harrell to press on regardless without all the necessary and time-consuming tests by Schlumberger being completed. Rogue numbers in further tests are waved away as ‘glitches’. A familiar story of corporate greed and pressure overriding the expert’s better judgment.
When disaster strikes it strikes quickly, with some spectacular and exciting special effects that leave the audience especially hot under the collar. Female support is provided by the comely Andrea Fleytas (Gina Rodriguez), given the almost impossible job of keeping the floating bomb on station as chaos reigns about her. As an audience we are back on familiar ground here from classic Irwin Allen disaster movies such as “The Towering Inferno” and “The Poseidon Adventure”. Who will make it, and who won’t?

A more telling question here is “Do we care?” and unfortunately for the film, the answer is “Not really”. This feels a callous thing to say when this was a real and recent event and eleven people and – as touchingly illustrated at the end of the film in tribute – many of them family men with young kids, never went home again. But film-wise, we only really get bought into the fate of Williams, whose back-story, with cute wife (Kate Hudson) and cute daughter (Stella Allen) we get to meet and sympathize with.

We get a minimalist view of Fleytas’s backstory, but only enough to provide a recurring “Mustang” reference. And that’s it. All the other characters are just two-dimensional “rig crew”: cannon-fodder for the special effects team. The screenplay by Matthew Sand and Matthew Carnahan really doesn’t deliver enough heft to get us bought in.

While the special effects are good, the sound design isn’t, with much of the dialogue being incomprehensible.
 
All the acting is fine, with the ever-watchable John Malkovich nicely portraying the corporate head you love to hate. Wahlberg as well delivers enough range to make you forget in this “action mode” that he was also in “Ted”. And Rodriguez as a junior lead holds her own against the big guns in what is a creditable performance in a big film role for her.

While “Lone Survivor”/”Battleship” director Peter Berg neatly provides an insight into life on and around rigs, and (via subtitles) descriptions of the drilling process which I found interesting, this comes down to the sum of a tense build up, an hour of frenetic disaster, and then a whimper of an ending. Where were some of the dramatic scenes of conflict in the congressional hearing that the film’s opening implies might come? Where are the scenes of ecological disaster and local financial ruin to add emotional angles to the story? None of this is really exploited and the whole concoction comes across a bit “meh” as a result. Not a bad film by any means. But not one I will remember in a month or two’s time.
  
Poseidon (2006)
Poseidon (2006)
2006 | Action, Drama
The summer movie season has arrived in grand style with the first thrill ride of the season In Poseidon, viewers are taking to the very edge and beyond in one of the better adventure films in recent memory.

Based on the 1972 original, the film once again follows a ship in peril and a group of survivors attempting to save themselves from certain doom. Onboard the Poseidon, the guests are a mixed bag of society, but fate is about to bring them all together when their transatlantic crossing hits a rather unexpected snag in the form of a massive tidal wave which capsizes the boat leaving the survivors to deal with an upside down ship and the constant threat of drowning.

Wasting little time on character backgrounds and motivations, the film gets right to the action as within 10 minutes, the action is underway, and rarely lets up over the roughly 99 minutes of the films run time.

After the disaster has hit and the survivors survey the carnage caused by the wave, Robert Ramsey (Kurt Russell), decides to ignore the advice of the ships captain and follow a maverick named Dylan (Josh Lucas), out of the ballroom in an effort not only to find his daughter, but a way out of the ship. Joining the duo are a young mother named Maggie (Jacinda Barrett), and her son, as well as business man Richard Nelson (Richard Dreyfuss). As the group ventures to find a way out, they do in time meet up with Roberts’s daughter and her finance as well as a few other survivors.

As the group is forced to work with one another for survival, conflicts arise as Dylan and Robert clash over the best course of action. It is learned that Robert was a former fireman who after a heroic act was able to become Mayor of New York, but for reasons unknown was not able to deal with his success which had caused his wife to leave him. Now Michael spends his days in luxury being an overprotective father to his daughter Jennifer (Emmy Rossum).

While much of Michael’s past is uncovered in a few lines tossed at him in a moment of anger, even less is known about Dylan. Prior to the accident, he revealed to Maggie that he takes money from people who like to get into arguments and play cards. Only Richard Nelsons character is given a bit more background as we learn that he is a Gay business man whose lover has left him for another in London, leaving Richard alone, and suicidal. The fact that Richard is preparing to jump overboard and is stopped only by the site of the closing wave allows his character to show some diversity as in the face of disaster, he finds new meaning and purpose.

The remainder of the film is packed with narrow escapes, danger, death, and the ever constant menace of the water which like an unrelenting killer is never far away from the group and stalks them without mercy at every turn.

While some of the situations are beyond reason, the film has some impressive sets and visuals, and Director Wolfgang Peterson keeps the pacing of the film fresh as it never stops long enough to loose its momentum.

The leads do the best they can with their stock characters, yet this is compensated for by the thrills of the film and the physicality of the rolls. Josh Lucas reportedly broke his arm while filming the movie underscoring just how much the actors put themselves into the film.

While Poseidon is not likely to be a cinematic classic, it is an enjoyable if flawed summer film that provides enough thrills to keep you entertained.
  
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Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated The Last Dance in TV

Aug 6, 2020 (Updated Aug 6, 2020)  
The Last Dance
The Last Dance
2020 | Documentary, Sport
Some people’s worst nightmare isn’t just being forced to watch sport, but being forced to listen to commentary or analysis on sport. My passion for a competitive event, and appreciation for an acheivement at the highest level in any sport, is still there, but is a little cooler than it was when I was a younger man with the energy to get carried away, whooping and cheering on an underdog or applauding the very best in a discipline.

Basketball for me has never really been a thing. To be honest, I barely understand the rules beyond the basics. It just wasn’t something that was on British TV that often as I grew up, the Olympics being an exception. The skill level (and height above Sea level) needed to be good enough for NBA glory does not escape me though, and neither has the exceptional career of Michael Jordon, who is a clear contender for greatest sportsman of all time, in any sport.

What I do enjoy though is the drama of over-coming hurdles and records against all the odds. The underdog story really appeals to me, as does the story of an older athlete doing it one last time, when no one thinks it’s possible. The Last Dance is exactly that. But not told by actors in a Hollywood way, like the wonderfully under-rated Miracle starring Kurt Russell. This is a documentary, in ten parts, with the real guys, and some of the most comprehensive archive material you’d ever want!

In theory, the tale is about the whole team, and their final fling at winning a title before knowing the aging gang would be disbanded, with the key figures forced into retirement. But, it is about Jordan, of course it is. And as a document of a rise to fame, and how the man responded to that fame and increased pressure, it is simply the best sports documentary yet to be made.

Told in parallel timelines of the final year juxtaposed with the backstory of the previous 20 years, it shows in exquisite detail how a franchise was built, maintained and taken to the heights of being the greatest ever to play the game. There are tantrums, fall outs, walk outs, no shows, injuries, and some mind-bending successes riding on single moments of genius.

The main voices of Jordan himself, as he sits in retirement with a cigar and a single malt, Scottie Pippin, and bad boy Dennis Rodman, are in parts fascinating, eloquent and revealing. Even after many years have passed, the emotion of big moments and issues is still fresh. We see the joy, the pride and the exhilaration, but also the regret, the grudges and the pain. It shows every angle of what being an athlete at the very top means, and exposes what kind of mentality you have to have to be that person. To be a champion.

As with me, it really helps with the cliffhanger drama of it if you don’t remember, or never knew at all, the result of that “last dance” season in ’98. It also helps if watching sport raises the pulse, but I wouldn’t say it is essential, as it all plays like an ten part series full of drama, betrayals and gasp out loud moments. Ten hour long episodes is a lot. But this incredible production never out stays its welcome. Some acheivement, and testament to what a charismatic figure Jordan was and is on the context of sport history.

Of course, not every hero is a hero every minute of his life. And that is my final reason to recommend it. See for yourself what kind of personality virtual gods like these invent for themselves. Utterly compelling TV.
  
Grindhouse (2007)
Grindhouse (2007)
2007 | Action, Horror
8
8.3 (13 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Back in the 70’s cheaply made independent films often came into their own. The studio released films were drawing smaller audiences’ thanks in large part to the arrival of color television and a greater variety of entertainment that people could view in their homes.

During this time, the Blaxploitation era as it became known, saw many films become big hits thanks to the films modest budgets and subject matter that was quite different from the films of the day. Aside from Blaxploitation, there were also sexploitation films as well as action and horror films that embraced the urban and youth cultures of the time and were loaded with sex, violence, and anti-establishment themes.

The films were often show nonstop in all night theaters known as “Grind houses”, where repeated showings of prints caused them to have image blemishes as films were usually shown in a city for a week before the same print was whisked off to a new city for even more wear and tear.

Inspired by the classic exploitation films of old, Directors Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez have teamed up to treat audience to a modern day ” Grind house” experience that comes complete with nostalgic intros and credits as well as movie trailers for exploitation films that the duo has not yet created.

The first film is “Planet Terror” and stars Rose McGowan as a Go Go Dancer named Cherry who is about to have a very bad night thanks to a deal gone wrong between a shadowy soldier (Bruce Willis), and a mysterious scientist (Naveen Andrews).

Before long, Cherry is minus a leg, and living in a town overrun by zombie like creatures, which forces her and a band of survivors to fight the deadly invaders to get to the bottom of the mystery.

The film is packed with gore, action, and enough cheesy lines to make even the most jaded moviegoer wince, yet all is done with loving reverence to the genre films that inspired it.

Rodriguez even includes little glitches in the film to give a sense of realism to the film. Were it not for the starts of today and some slightly better effects work, you could easily believe that this was a film from the era.

The second film is “Death Proof” and it stars Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike. A man who drives a souped up hotrod and spreads mayhem wherever he goes. While the film does not have much of the signature dialogue that marks past Tarantino films,

it does have its moments and is one of the most demented, and intense car chase stories you will ever see.

I have gone very light on the plot recaps as to be honest, the films both have paper thin plots and characters which do not really warrant much examination.

To do so would be to miss the point of Grind House as the goal was to create two modern exploitation films that were true in character and form to the films that inspired them. Yes, this film had a budget that could have created well over a thousand such films back in the day, and has more stars than Hollywood Bld. But despite this, still would be worthy of those famed theaters of old.

There were many times that I noted the bad acting, lines, and other problems in the films, but reminded myself that flaws were for the most part intended.

I compare the experience to watching “Mystery Science Theater 3000”, in that you need to be familiar with the types of film being featured in order to get the full benefit.

I for one really enjoyed myself and I loved the false trailers that were included in the film as it was great fun not only watching them, but seeing the big name stars who helped create them getting in on the fun.

If you set your expectations accordingly, than Grind House may be the most nostalgic fun you have had at the movies in a long time.
  
The Fate of the Furious (2017)
The Fate of the Furious (2017)
2017 | Action
Blood is thicker than Diesel.
All work and no play makes bob-the-movie-man a tardy reviewer. Still, what better way to break the fast than with “Fast and Furious 8” (aka “The Fate of the Furious”)?

Well, quite a lot of things actually!

Now, I have a confession to make (and I know for some this will be the equivalent of an appalling statement like “I’ve never seen Star Wars”). I have actually never ever seen Fast and Furious 1 through 7! (If it’s any mitigation to this cinematic crime, I did see the F-and-F wannabe “Need for Speed“).

So I was going to be completely lost with the “plot” right? Well actually, no. It was pretty easy to jump in and follow as a piece of popcorn nonsense.


The M25 water main burst was a real bitch for the Monday morning rush-hour.

For nonsense it is (hence the “rabbit ears” round the word “plot” above). The story isn’t just a bit far-fetched. It’s bat-shit crazy where the bat in question has downed a questionable vindaloo two hours earlier!
Dom (Vin Diesel) has turned on his “family”, including his squeeze, the lovely Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), and Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“), to team with the above-the-law (and above the clouds) cyber-super-terrorist Cipher (Charlize Theron, “Mad Max: Fury Road“). They have teamed up, apparently, for no other reason than to allow Cipher to ‘kick some global ass’ with a nuclear threat. But given his caring and sharing side, why the sudden betrayal of his nearest and dearest by Dom?


Ice Queen Metallica fan Theron, showing off her hardware.

Where do you begin with the nonsensical story? Jumping from Cuba (with some admittedly fun scenes, but shamelessly objectifying scantily-clad women) via Berlin and New York to the icy wastes of Siberia, it’s just an excuse to show fast cars doing ludicrously unlikely things. There is zero logic within any of the script. Here are just a handful of examples:

the team know (through enormous jumps of speculation) to be present at a particular location in the world and at exactly the time that Dom is there (arrive, look through binoculars, “Oh, there he is”!);
all cars can be automatically hijacked and remotely driven (who knew), but NOT those of the team (obviously);
fast cars/tanks/etc can be magicked from New York to Siberia (wot, no Hertz Siberia available?);
Russian nuclear codes are stolen, so obviously they can’t be changed?
a nuclear submarine is out of the water on wooden blocks, but spin the propeller really REALLY fast and it can suddenly be sailing away.

Muscle for muscle it never looked like being a fair fight.

I appreciate I am being enormously po-faced about this, and this is designed as pure escapism. But is there REALLY any need for this to be such mindless escapism? The director (Gary Gray, “The Italian Job”) and writer (Chris Morgan, responsible for parts 6 and 7) should credit their audience with rather more in the way of intelligence.

Diesel and Johnson are never going to set the acting ablaze, but Rodriquez (“Lost”) is as watchable as ever. Theron has fun with her villainy and the supporting turns by Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris are enjoyable. Nathalie Emmanuel though as Ramsey seems as uncomfortable with her “sexy English” stereotype as she should be.


A long way from Brookside. Nathalie Emmanuel uncomfortable as “the sexy one”.

Luke Evans (“The Hobbit“), Kurt Russell (“Deepwater Horizon“) and Helen Mirren (“Eye in the Sky“) turn up in entertaining but underused cameos, but it is Jason Statham as Deckard that has the most fun in the whole film, and his scenes – done largely for comic effect – are the best part of the movie. (But “math” Jason? “MATH”?? I hope your old maths teacher back in London doesn’t get to see this film).


Parking enforcement by the City Council was getting more and more stringent.

If you’re willing to park your brain at the door for two hours then it has some fun moments. But I felt the damage to my IQ might not have been worth the risk, and this really didn’t fill my cinematic tank.