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Hazel (1853 KP) rated A Robot in the Garden in Books
Dec 14, 2018
<i>This ebook was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review </i>
What would you do if you found a robot in your garden? That is exactly what, as the title suggests, 34-year-old Ben has to answer on making this discovery early one September morning. Set in the near future where many people have androids in their houses to do the chores they do not wish to do, finding a robot is not a completely unsettling event. What is unusual, however, is that this particular robot is the opposite of the modern, shiny models: he appears to be a mishmash of Japanese fine art and something you would find on a scrap heap.
As Ben discovers, the robot, named Tang is broken and is in need of urgent care and repair. Ben becomes obsessed with trying to pry information out of the robot as to where he came from and to whom he belongs to. Bringing Tang into the house is the last straw for his wife, Amy, who after letting him know all his faults – unemployment, never achieved anything – walks out on him. Now alone, with no one else to worry about, Ben is determined to locate Tang’s creator and save the robot’s life.
What continues is a wild goose chase across America and over to Asia as the strange pairing – human and robot – follows hints and clues that could help them reach their destination. Along the way Ben gets to know Tang and learns to love him in the same way a father loves a child. No matter what mischief Tang gets himself into, Ben is always there to fix the situation. The only thing he cannot fix is Tang’s internal parts, and time is running out.
Initially the story was about a man who wanted to prove he could achieve something to show his sister and his, now, ex-wife that they were wrong about him. However later on in the novel Ben realizes he is changing for himself, not for anyone else, and the person – or robot – that has helped him to achieve this is Tang. On the other hand it is also a humorous tale that explores a character that is unable to connect to the world around him. Tang is like a human toddler who needs constant care and attention, and is fascinated by everything around him. With Ben’s love and attention he proves to the world that he is much more than a rusty metal box.
<i>A Robot in the Garden</i> is a gem of a novel that is guaranteed to make the reader laugh. It is also touching and emotionally engaging, with both heartwarming and heart wrenching moments. Deborah Install has created an accurate representation of a character that has no understanding of the happenings in the world around it, basing many hilarious instances on those of her young son.
Whilst reading this book I could not help but compare it to the film <i>Short Circuit</i> (1986) in which a robot is electrocuted and gains human intelligence. I kept picturing the storyline of <i>A Robot in the Garden</i> in my head and thinking up ways it could be portrayed on screen. Whether there are plans to make it into a film I have no idea, but I am sure it would make prize-winning picture.
Do not be put off by its science fiction classification; <i>A Robot in the Garden</i> is no <i>War of the Worlds</i> or <i>Doctor Who</i> type of story. Instead it is a brilliant piece if fiction suitable for all adults. Those with children will laugh at the similarities between Tang and their offspring, whereas those without will sympathise with Ben’s struggles to keep the robot under control. All in all a great novel.
What would you do if you found a robot in your garden? That is exactly what, as the title suggests, 34-year-old Ben has to answer on making this discovery early one September morning. Set in the near future where many people have androids in their houses to do the chores they do not wish to do, finding a robot is not a completely unsettling event. What is unusual, however, is that this particular robot is the opposite of the modern, shiny models: he appears to be a mishmash of Japanese fine art and something you would find on a scrap heap.
As Ben discovers, the robot, named Tang is broken and is in need of urgent care and repair. Ben becomes obsessed with trying to pry information out of the robot as to where he came from and to whom he belongs to. Bringing Tang into the house is the last straw for his wife, Amy, who after letting him know all his faults – unemployment, never achieved anything – walks out on him. Now alone, with no one else to worry about, Ben is determined to locate Tang’s creator and save the robot’s life.
What continues is a wild goose chase across America and over to Asia as the strange pairing – human and robot – follows hints and clues that could help them reach their destination. Along the way Ben gets to know Tang and learns to love him in the same way a father loves a child. No matter what mischief Tang gets himself into, Ben is always there to fix the situation. The only thing he cannot fix is Tang’s internal parts, and time is running out.
Initially the story was about a man who wanted to prove he could achieve something to show his sister and his, now, ex-wife that they were wrong about him. However later on in the novel Ben realizes he is changing for himself, not for anyone else, and the person – or robot – that has helped him to achieve this is Tang. On the other hand it is also a humorous tale that explores a character that is unable to connect to the world around him. Tang is like a human toddler who needs constant care and attention, and is fascinated by everything around him. With Ben’s love and attention he proves to the world that he is much more than a rusty metal box.
<i>A Robot in the Garden</i> is a gem of a novel that is guaranteed to make the reader laugh. It is also touching and emotionally engaging, with both heartwarming and heart wrenching moments. Deborah Install has created an accurate representation of a character that has no understanding of the happenings in the world around it, basing many hilarious instances on those of her young son.
Whilst reading this book I could not help but compare it to the film <i>Short Circuit</i> (1986) in which a robot is electrocuted and gains human intelligence. I kept picturing the storyline of <i>A Robot in the Garden</i> in my head and thinking up ways it could be portrayed on screen. Whether there are plans to make it into a film I have no idea, but I am sure it would make prize-winning picture.
Do not be put off by its science fiction classification; <i>A Robot in the Garden</i> is no <i>War of the Worlds</i> or <i>Doctor Who</i> type of story. Instead it is a brilliant piece if fiction suitable for all adults. Those with children will laugh at the similarities between Tang and their offspring, whereas those without will sympathise with Ben’s struggles to keep the robot under control. All in all a great novel.
Hazel (1853 KP) rated The Keeper of Portals in Books
Dec 17, 2018
<i>This ARC was provided by the author in exchange for an honest review </i>
Awaiting young adult readers in early 2017 is a fantasy story unlike any other. <i>The Keeper of Portals</i> is the debut novel of V.S. Nelson, the soon-to-be-published author with an imagination worth sharing. Incorporating the familiar concept of time travel into a new way of visualizing the world results in a story that will leave minds reeling.
Nelson’s theory is that every aspect of life has a keeper, a creature in charge of making sure their assigned element functions smoothly. There are the major keepers responsible for time, causality and other things that cannot be seen, yet objects as small as buttons have their own keeper, too. Humans, of course, are unaware of these keepers, therefore fifteen-year-old Martin Lockford initially believes he is going mad when the Keeper of Portals reveals his existence in Martin’s bedroom.
Martin and his mother, with nowhere else to go, have moved into a dilapidated manor once owned by a distant relative. Whilst exploring his new room, Martin is startled by a disembodied voice claiming to be the Keeper of Portals. Having not spoken to anyone for 400 years, Portals is eager to show off his role in the flowing of the unpredictable universe. The keeper’s task is to make sure each door leads to the correct place – something that he demonstrates by sending Martin to the <i>wrong</i> places. However, there is one door in the manor that he has been unable to open.
The very next morning, Martin awakes to discover the sealed door is no longer locked and, being the curious boy that he is, goes through to explore. The mystery door does not only transport Martin to a different place, it sends him back in time to 1623. Here he meets the young Isabel, a maid, who is intrigued with the inventions of the future, especially from a personal hygiene perspective. However, she is not the only one curious about the 21st century.
The irascible master of the manor is not who he initially seems. With the desire to control everything, he places Martin and Isabel in a grave predicament, trapping them in the 17th century. At risk of creating a paradox, Martin needs to return to his own time – a difficult feat in itself – however, with the Keeper of Portals missing, the master has caused many problems that need to be solved, otherwise a whole new future will be born.
Admittedly, it takes a while for the story to warm up – the reader may be introduced to the idea of keepers fairly early on, yet the key storyline does not reveal itself until much later. After perseverance on the reader’s behalf, <i>The Keeper of Portals</i>, becomes an exciting mix of fantasy and science fiction, cleverly thought out to create an unpredictable scenario. Adventure after adventure, until bittersweet conclusion, keeps readers engaged and compelled to read on long after bedtime.
Although Martin is the protagonist of the novel, Isabel’s role is equally important. Despite women in the 1600s being deprived on the rights they have in this day and age, Isabel is an intelligent, independent girl, perfectly able to handle everything that is thrown at her. She is an inspiration to teenage girls.
Written with teenage readers in mind, <i>The Keeper of Portals</i> is suitable for fantasy-loving adults, too. With equipoise of adventure and intellectual theory, as well as a touch of romance, it is definitely a book to look out for. V.S. Nelson writes with clarity, exuding remarkable intelligence; let us hope that there will be more from where this came from.
Awaiting young adult readers in early 2017 is a fantasy story unlike any other. <i>The Keeper of Portals</i> is the debut novel of V.S. Nelson, the soon-to-be-published author with an imagination worth sharing. Incorporating the familiar concept of time travel into a new way of visualizing the world results in a story that will leave minds reeling.
Nelson’s theory is that every aspect of life has a keeper, a creature in charge of making sure their assigned element functions smoothly. There are the major keepers responsible for time, causality and other things that cannot be seen, yet objects as small as buttons have their own keeper, too. Humans, of course, are unaware of these keepers, therefore fifteen-year-old Martin Lockford initially believes he is going mad when the Keeper of Portals reveals his existence in Martin’s bedroom.
Martin and his mother, with nowhere else to go, have moved into a dilapidated manor once owned by a distant relative. Whilst exploring his new room, Martin is startled by a disembodied voice claiming to be the Keeper of Portals. Having not spoken to anyone for 400 years, Portals is eager to show off his role in the flowing of the unpredictable universe. The keeper’s task is to make sure each door leads to the correct place – something that he demonstrates by sending Martin to the <i>wrong</i> places. However, there is one door in the manor that he has been unable to open.
The very next morning, Martin awakes to discover the sealed door is no longer locked and, being the curious boy that he is, goes through to explore. The mystery door does not only transport Martin to a different place, it sends him back in time to 1623. Here he meets the young Isabel, a maid, who is intrigued with the inventions of the future, especially from a personal hygiene perspective. However, she is not the only one curious about the 21st century.
The irascible master of the manor is not who he initially seems. With the desire to control everything, he places Martin and Isabel in a grave predicament, trapping them in the 17th century. At risk of creating a paradox, Martin needs to return to his own time – a difficult feat in itself – however, with the Keeper of Portals missing, the master has caused many problems that need to be solved, otherwise a whole new future will be born.
Admittedly, it takes a while for the story to warm up – the reader may be introduced to the idea of keepers fairly early on, yet the key storyline does not reveal itself until much later. After perseverance on the reader’s behalf, <i>The Keeper of Portals</i>, becomes an exciting mix of fantasy and science fiction, cleverly thought out to create an unpredictable scenario. Adventure after adventure, until bittersweet conclusion, keeps readers engaged and compelled to read on long after bedtime.
Although Martin is the protagonist of the novel, Isabel’s role is equally important. Despite women in the 1600s being deprived on the rights they have in this day and age, Isabel is an intelligent, independent girl, perfectly able to handle everything that is thrown at her. She is an inspiration to teenage girls.
Written with teenage readers in mind, <i>The Keeper of Portals</i> is suitable for fantasy-loving adults, too. With equipoise of adventure and intellectual theory, as well as a touch of romance, it is definitely a book to look out for. V.S. Nelson writes with clarity, exuding remarkable intelligence; let us hope that there will be more from where this came from.
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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies
Apr 17, 2019 (Updated Apr 17, 2019)
The script (4 more)
The CGI
The editing
The performances
Everything else
Actual Hell
If the Hellboy 2019 movie has one thing going for it, it's that it's impressive. It is impressive in the sense that it actually made me question the futility of time and why I was wasting my short time on this earth watching this atrocious piece of trash. There were several times when I was watching the film that I actually couldn't bring myself to believe how bad what I was witnessing onscreen really was. This might be the worst film I have ever seen.
It has without a doubt taken the crown of the worst superhero movie ever made from Fan4stic and is downright insulting. I cannot believe that they chose to make this dogshit over another one with Ron Perlman and Del Toro. Almost every single aspect of this movie is garbage and there are hardly any redeeming features.
Let's talk about the main character, this movie's version of Hellboy. We all knew going in that David Harbour had some pretty big shoes to fill left by Perlman and in Harbour's defence, pretty much the only slightly positive aspect of this thing is the fact that you can tell that Harbour is doing the very best with the piss poor material he has been given to work with. Most of his lines are awful and the way that his character is written as a moaning, whiny bitch is actually insulting to the character. Also, the excessive makeup he is wearing means that he is hardly able to emote with his mouth. When he is talking, his mouth simply opens and closes like a puppet and it is painfully obvious that the dialogue has been dubbed in later and it's not even been done very well. The other slight positive in this movie is seeing Hellboy in his full demonic getup with long horns and donning the flaming crown and sword was pretty cool, unfortunately this is only a fleeting glimpse of coolness before we get right back to the crap.
The other memorable part of the Del Toro Hellboy movies was the endearing supporting cast, unfortunately they have been substituted with an insufferable lot of replacements. The actress playing Alice may give the worst performance that I have ever seen in a comic book movie, (and I saw Polar!) Every single line that she uttered was extremely cringe-worthy and poorly delivered. Daniel Dae Kim was almost as bad as Hellboy's other sidekick. Again, a lot of his lines were ADR'd in later and it is really shoddily done. Ian McShane plays Broom, the scientist that found Hellboy and adopted him and he is sleepwalking his way through this role for the sake of an easy paycheck. As is Milla Jovovich, she plays a stereotypical villainous witch and she does nothing here that we haven't seen her do before in other movies.
Over my years of watching almost every comic book movie that releases, I have seen my fair share of cheap, cartoony looking CGI, but this takes the cake. Almost every scene in the movie features some kind of CGI creature and they are all on a similar level of quality to an unfinished student project. One of the moments it really stood out was the giant fight, where we were subjected to not only one bad CGI giant, but three of them. The scene is also shot in broad daylight, which really does the bad CGI no favours. Not once, did anything in this movie look better than anything in the Del Toro movies which came out 10+ years ago.
I'm going to spoil something here, because seriously who gives a fuck at this point? The absolute worst part of CGI though in the entire movie, is undoubtedly during one of the final scenes in the movie where Ian McShane comes back to speak to Hellboy as a ghost. The CG in this scene is genuinely on par with the Rock's CG in in the Scorpion King. Yes, it really is that bad.
The soundtrack is so misused here also. The songs themselves that are featured are all half decent songs, but they do not work in the context of this film and they add absolutely nothing to the scenes that they are used in. The editing is also horrible, there were several times that I was reminded of the cheap editing in shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
The last thing that I want to talk about is the tone and humour, (or lack of,) present throughout the film. The movie opens with a flashback scene showing King Arthur chopping up the witch. The scene is being narrated by Ian McShane and it is chock-full of diabolically awful dialogue and insufferably cheesy line delivery. Whilst watching it I thought, "Oh they are really hamming it up here and going for a really corny tone for these flashback scenes." I then swiftly came to the soul-crushing conclusion that no, this was how the next 2 hours of this movie was going to go. The awful sense of humour is actually comparable to that in a poor quality kids film, with gross out burp and kiss jokes to boot. What happened to the darker, more horror orientated tone that we were teased with when the movie was in pre-production? Any semblance of that is sorely lacking here and it is a shame because I would have quite liked to have seen that movie and there is a good chance that it would have been a lot better than this dumpster fire.
Overall, please don't see this unless you hate yourself. It is two hours of your life that would be better spent doing literally anything else. At the end it has the audacity to tease a sequel which, (if there is a God,) will never happen.
It has without a doubt taken the crown of the worst superhero movie ever made from Fan4stic and is downright insulting. I cannot believe that they chose to make this dogshit over another one with Ron Perlman and Del Toro. Almost every single aspect of this movie is garbage and there are hardly any redeeming features.
Let's talk about the main character, this movie's version of Hellboy. We all knew going in that David Harbour had some pretty big shoes to fill left by Perlman and in Harbour's defence, pretty much the only slightly positive aspect of this thing is the fact that you can tell that Harbour is doing the very best with the piss poor material he has been given to work with. Most of his lines are awful and the way that his character is written as a moaning, whiny bitch is actually insulting to the character. Also, the excessive makeup he is wearing means that he is hardly able to emote with his mouth. When he is talking, his mouth simply opens and closes like a puppet and it is painfully obvious that the dialogue has been dubbed in later and it's not even been done very well. The other slight positive in this movie is seeing Hellboy in his full demonic getup with long horns and donning the flaming crown and sword was pretty cool, unfortunately this is only a fleeting glimpse of coolness before we get right back to the crap.
The other memorable part of the Del Toro Hellboy movies was the endearing supporting cast, unfortunately they have been substituted with an insufferable lot of replacements. The actress playing Alice may give the worst performance that I have ever seen in a comic book movie, (and I saw Polar!) Every single line that she uttered was extremely cringe-worthy and poorly delivered. Daniel Dae Kim was almost as bad as Hellboy's other sidekick. Again, a lot of his lines were ADR'd in later and it is really shoddily done. Ian McShane plays Broom, the scientist that found Hellboy and adopted him and he is sleepwalking his way through this role for the sake of an easy paycheck. As is Milla Jovovich, she plays a stereotypical villainous witch and she does nothing here that we haven't seen her do before in other movies.
Over my years of watching almost every comic book movie that releases, I have seen my fair share of cheap, cartoony looking CGI, but this takes the cake. Almost every scene in the movie features some kind of CGI creature and they are all on a similar level of quality to an unfinished student project. One of the moments it really stood out was the giant fight, where we were subjected to not only one bad CGI giant, but three of them. The scene is also shot in broad daylight, which really does the bad CGI no favours. Not once, did anything in this movie look better than anything in the Del Toro movies which came out 10+ years ago.
I'm going to spoil something here, because seriously who gives a fuck at this point? The absolute worst part of CGI though in the entire movie, is undoubtedly during one of the final scenes in the movie where Ian McShane comes back to speak to Hellboy as a ghost. The CG in this scene is genuinely on par with the Rock's CG in in the Scorpion King. Yes, it really is that bad.
The soundtrack is so misused here also. The songs themselves that are featured are all half decent songs, but they do not work in the context of this film and they add absolutely nothing to the scenes that they are used in. The editing is also horrible, there were several times that I was reminded of the cheap editing in shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
The last thing that I want to talk about is the tone and humour, (or lack of,) present throughout the film. The movie opens with a flashback scene showing King Arthur chopping up the witch. The scene is being narrated by Ian McShane and it is chock-full of diabolically awful dialogue and insufferably cheesy line delivery. Whilst watching it I thought, "Oh they are really hamming it up here and going for a really corny tone for these flashback scenes." I then swiftly came to the soul-crushing conclusion that no, this was how the next 2 hours of this movie was going to go. The awful sense of humour is actually comparable to that in a poor quality kids film, with gross out burp and kiss jokes to boot. What happened to the darker, more horror orientated tone that we were teased with when the movie was in pre-production? Any semblance of that is sorely lacking here and it is a shame because I would have quite liked to have seen that movie and there is a good chance that it would have been a lot better than this dumpster fire.
Overall, please don't see this unless you hate yourself. It is two hours of your life that would be better spent doing literally anything else. At the end it has the audacity to tease a sequel which, (if there is a God,) will never happen.
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Dianne Robbins (1738 KP) rated Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again! (2018) in Movies
Apr 24, 2019
Seeing Donna's backstories with her lovers. (1 more)
Nice to see most of the cast together again.
Literally everything else (8 more)
The same dramatic hairstyles on two principal female characters for over twenty years, really? Talk about suspension of belief.
Lifeless.
No real heart to it.
Meryl Streep is in it for mere seconds.
Relationships between the characters. Disjointed and disconnected.
Not the best ABBA songs.
The Kissed the Teacher sequence. I mean, wth was that about?
Not much singing or a reason to sing.
Joyless
Contains spoilers, click to show
I loved the first one and have been known to watch the DVD or listen to the CD on a continuous loop for upwards of 12 hours. I'm not kidding. I adore Meryl Streep and everything she touches is gold. Except for this movie. Omg, it is so bad. It lost all the joy the first film had. Why?! Why did they have to destroy this movie so badly?
Spoiler alert: Donna, Meryl Streep's joyous character is dead at the start of this film. Her story is told through flashbacks with Lily James of Downton Abbey starring as recent college-grad, Donna, and her adventures in the Greek Isles as she meets each of the three men who may be her daughter, Sophie's father. Donna flits around as the bohemian she is but the character is too flighty to be believed and she certainly doesn't flesh out Meryl Streep's version of Donna. It seems pointless for her to even have tried.
The cast is very dated and stagnant, in reverse, as they are shown as their younger selves exactly as they are 20 or 30 years later, even down to the same clothing and hairstyles. It's ridiculous to think these fashionable women would never update their looks over the years or that their personalities and mannerisms had not changed either. Are they living in a vacuum? They're all just so one-note. Maybe the creators did it because they thought the movie would be easier to understand or figure out which character was whom, but it's just not realistic. I'll admit, dramas are my favorite genre and this is meant as much lighter fare but I wish they would have expected the audience to have half a brain and be able to figure out the younger cast and the elder versions of them. It felt dumbed down.
The modern plotline is morose, joyless, and lifeless, and missed all the heart, humor, and passion of the first.
And Cher's character, why bother? She didn't bring anything to the role other than her real-life celebrity.
I regret buying this DVD and even more so, wasting 2 hours of my life watching this dull, spoon-fed money grab.
Spoiler alert: Donna, Meryl Streep's joyous character is dead at the start of this film. Her story is told through flashbacks with Lily James of Downton Abbey starring as recent college-grad, Donna, and her adventures in the Greek Isles as she meets each of the three men who may be her daughter, Sophie's father. Donna flits around as the bohemian she is but the character is too flighty to be believed and she certainly doesn't flesh out Meryl Streep's version of Donna. It seems pointless for her to even have tried.
The cast is very dated and stagnant, in reverse, as they are shown as their younger selves exactly as they are 20 or 30 years later, even down to the same clothing and hairstyles. It's ridiculous to think these fashionable women would never update their looks over the years or that their personalities and mannerisms had not changed either. Are they living in a vacuum? They're all just so one-note. Maybe the creators did it because they thought the movie would be easier to understand or figure out which character was whom, but it's just not realistic. I'll admit, dramas are my favorite genre and this is meant as much lighter fare but I wish they would have expected the audience to have half a brain and be able to figure out the younger cast and the elder versions of them. It felt dumbed down.
The modern plotline is morose, joyless, and lifeless, and missed all the heart, humor, and passion of the first.
And Cher's character, why bother? She didn't bring anything to the role other than her real-life celebrity.
I regret buying this DVD and even more so, wasting 2 hours of my life watching this dull, spoon-fed money grab.
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