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Bunny Party at Maple Valley
Bunny Party at Maple Valley
2021 | Animals, Card Game, Humor
What kinds of pets did you have growing up? My family was allowed one dog throughout my formative years, and I even tried to keep a turtle once in college. I have not ever had rabbits, but my brother did – Brewster. He was a cool bunny. Kinda freaked out sometimes and made a huge mess, but overall a nice little fella. I am trying to imagine an entire village of Brewsters planning a party and inviting all their friends. I can’t really do it, but now I don’t have to – there’s a game I can play.

Bunny Party at Maple Valley (which I shall refer to as simply Bunny Party from here) is a sweet and cute little card game for three or four players. In it players are the titular bunnies decorating for and competing to win the chance to host the Night Sky Party at their place. However, in this game more often than not the victory is shared between they who amass the requisite five decorations and their neighbor who also co-hosts the event! The bunnies gotta get crackin’ so let’s get going!

PS – I will be reviewing the 3-player version of the game, which has ever-so-slightly different rules.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, character cards are shuffled and two dealt to each player. They choose one to be their avatar and discard the other back to the box. The large deck of cards with the house on the back is shuffled and placed on the table within reach. The villager cards are shuffled and one is drawn and placed outside the play area – it will not be used this round. The other five villagers are arranged as a market of friends. Each player draws three cards on the first round, and the game is ready to begin!
Bunny Party is played over a series of rounds until one player satisfies the win condition. Each round consists of eight phases: Turn Start, Tidy a Card, Villagers Visit, Play Cards, Trade, Play Cards (again), Party Start?, and Villagers Go Home. Turn Start typically involves players setting the table for the round. First, the villager cards are re-shuffled, one set aside to be ignored this round (they are staying home), and the remainders displayed. Then each player draws two cards from the deck and collects one Trade Token.

Next, all players will choose one of their cards they drew during the Tidy a Card step to be placed in a temporary discard pile face-down. Alternatively, a player may forego the Tidy in order to place a card in front of another player by spending one Trade Token. Once all players have tidied a card or placed one in front of another player, the Tidy pile is shuffled, then flipped as a stack to the top of the discard pile, face-up.

The villagers are now becoming impatient, so players will allow them audience during this Villagers Visit phase. Each player chooses a villager from those available to host during their party preparation. These villagers offer special abilities each round and can be very valuable at certain times during the game.

While the villagers are visiting, players may next Play Cards from their hand. These cards are typically of three types: Item, Event, or Decoration. Item cards are placed in the player’s tableau and offer one-time or lingering effects. Event cards are typically one-and-done cards to be completed and then discarded. Decorations are what players are really after, as they are what determine win conditions. With five star or moon cards the player can start the party and end the game. At the bottom of the decoration cards is printed an arrow. This arrow points to the neighbor that will co-host and also win the game. In a three-player game Decoration cards are displayed upside down, so that is why the photo below looks a little strange.

When players have all played their hand of cards, the Trade phase may begin. Players may offer Item cards to other players and a trade may be struck by each player discarding a Trade Token from their stash. This may result in a player receiving a new card to be played. When this happens, the next phase is immediately played (after all trades have been completed). Any player who now holds an unplayed card may Play Cards (again) as before.

If a player (or players) have now collected five or more star or moon Decoration cards, they may claim victory during this Party Start? phase. Again, the Decoration cards have arrows printed to determine the co-host/co-victor in the game, and the winners may then invite the rest of the burrow to their den for the Night Sky Party! However, if no victor emerges during the Party Start? phase, then all the Villagers Go Home, and a new round begins with the Turn Start phase.


Play continues in this fashion until winners have been crowned host and co-host of the Night Sky Party in Maple Valley!
Components. This one is a bunch of cards a few cardboard chits. The cards are all fine quality, as are the chits. What is really great about these components is the art on them. I cannot think of many cuter themes than uber-nice bunnies throwing a party and sharing their victory with a neighbor. So obviously the art has to match the theme, tone, and style of the game. I believe Bunny Party knocks it out of the park here. The art is so playful and cute, and I absolutely have to give a huge shout out to Evan’s Games for the very apparent inclusivity and representation. I see you and I applaud you!

Gameplay for me is where I take just a little issue. Everything works, and once you understand the phases it does flow better, but, I can see myself really only playing this with children or in a gateway/breaking in new gamers situation. It is very light, but there are eight phases to a round! So while each phase is easy to understand and execute, each round takes a little longer because there are a few too many steps. Once my kids really know how to read well they will be playing this with me and I know right now that we will have a great time with it. I really do appreciate the special efforts that were made with regards to representation (yes, even with anthropomorphic cartoon animals) and with the design being more focused on sharing victory and being nice to neighbors. My children will certain have good habits reinforced while playing this, and that is what makes this game important.

Again, this is not the game for hardcore gamers, nor those who are interested in bigger and more complex medium-weight games. This is a quick filler at best during a game night when newer gamers are gathered. That being said, I still find a great deal of value in this one, and will be keeping it for a long time. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a 4 / 6 on stand-by. I do want to try this with different types of people (once we are able again) to see if my predictions are correct. I have only been able to play it with adult family, and none of them are medium to heavy weight game enthusiasts. If you are needing a nice game that can be played among other games for a themed game night (like Bunny Party + Bob Ross: Art of Chill + Hues and Cues + Escape: The Curse of the Temple) then this certainly fits that niche.

So my official stance, for now, is that Bunny Party has a great theme, excellent art, a wonderful message of harmony, but is both too light and too complex for what it is. I realize that sounds ridiculous. Please try it and let me know your thoughts. For now, I am keeping this close and I will be trying it with various groups with whom I game.
  
Marvel United
Marvel United
2020 | Card Game, Comic Book / Strip, Fighting
This has probably been mentioned before, but I love Marvel superheroes. My favorite has got to be Spider-Man, hands down. Feel free to send me an email if you’d like to hear my thoughts on who is the best Spider-Man – Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield, or Tom Holland. I’m getting off topic here… Anyway – when I saw the massive Kickstarter campaign for Marvel United, I knew it was going to be big. Admittedly, I didn’t join in on the campaign (teacher salaries, amiright?), but I did snag a copy of the base game post-campaign. Does the game live up to my expectations? Or does it fall flat, like a DC movie? (OOOOOOH BURN)

Disclaimer: This review encompasses only the base game of Marvel United. There are a number of expansions, but they will not be addressed in this review. -L

Marvel United is a cooperative game in which players take on the roles of various Marvel superheroes tasked with stopping the main Villain from completing their Villainous Plot. Follow the setup instructions detailed in the rulebook, selecting a Villain with whom to battle, 6 random Locations, and whichever Heroes you decide to use to fight the big bad. Place Threat cards, Civilians, and Thugs on the various Locations as indicated, and place the Villain and Heroes as described in the rules. Shuffle the Master Plan deck and respective Hero decks, and each player draws a hand of 3 cards. Choose a Hero as the ‘starting’ Hero, and the game is now ready to begin!

Over a series of turns, players will be resolving Villain effects and playing Hero cards to perform actions. The game always begins with a Villain turn, and the first step is to reveal a Master Plan card, adding it to the Storyline (table). Master Plan cards have different effects to be resolved – move the Villain to a new Location, BAM! effects (usually attacking Heroes or advancing their Villainous Plot towards victory), and adding Civilians/Thugs to surrounding Locations. Once all effects on the Master Plan card are dealt with, the game moves to a Hero turn. During a Hero turn, the player will perform 4 steps: Draw a card, Play a Card, Resolve Actions, and Location Effects. To start, the player will draw a card from their Hero deck and add it to their hand. They then select a card from their hand to play, adding it to the end of the Storyline.

Looking at the symbols at the bottom of their played card, the Hero will now resolve their actions. Actions could be Movement (to an adjacent Location), Attack (Thugs/Henchmen or the Villain in their current Location), Heroic Actions (rescuing Civilians or working to clear the Threat on their current Location), or Wild (any of the previous actions). During this step, a cool twist comes into play – after all, the game is called Marvel United, right? When a Hero plays a card, they resolve the symbols on the bottom of their card AND the symbols on the bottom of the previously played Hero card! This simulates the various Heroes uniting their efforts to take down the Villain! So when selecting your card, be sure to check out the last card to see if you can create a sweet chain of actions for maximum benefit. The final step is to use Location effects, if applicable. Location effects are only available after the Threat to the Location has been cleared, and allows the player to perform special actions (draw extra cards, move to other Locations, etc.). If you end your turn on a Location that has been cleared, you may use its ability if you so choose.


In order to defeat the Villain, the Heroes must complete Missions. The 3 Missions in each game are to Rescue Civilians, Defeat Thugs, and Clear Threats. So with their actions on their turns, Heroes will be working to complete these Missions, moving them closer to victory. The turn sequence of the game is unique as well – the Villain will take a turn after every 3rd Hero turn, not opposite every single Hero. Keep that in mind as you decide which card to play when! The game essentially continues in this fashion (with a few extra effects) until either the Heroes win or they lose. Heroes win if they defeat the Villain! The Villain is defeated when at least 2 Missions are completed, and the Villain has been sufficiently damaged by Attacks. Heroes lose if the Villain completes their Villainous Plot, the deck of Master Plan cards has run out, or if any Hero starts their turn with no cards left to play. The Heroes either win together or lose together.
So I know that kind of sounds like a lot, but I promise that once you get playing, the game flows really well and is pretty intuitive. Marvel United can basically be broken down into 2 steps: Villain turn and Hero turn. All you are doing is playing cards and resolving actions to complete your goals. One of the coolest things about this gameplay is the fact that on your turn you resolve not only your played card, but also the previously played Hero card as well. It does a good job emulating the Heroes working together, and adds a strategic element to the overall gameplay. Maybe you wanted to play a certain card, but based on the last Hero card, you should play this one to benefit the group the most. Players really are all working together to defeat the Villain, instead of each playing their own Hero and going in for the fight one-on-one.

Another neat aspect of the game is the inclusion of the Missions. Heroes are not allowed to directly attack the Villain until at least 2 Missions have been completed. This ups the gameplay because it stops players from just going straight for the Villain from the start, not taking anything else into account. In ‘real life,’ Heroes are also concerned with saving Civilians and neutralizing threats, so the Mission requirement makes the gameplay feel more authentic. Well, as authentic as a superhero game can feel…. The variability of Locations and the random setup of Threats each game means that you likely won’t play the same game twice. Add in expansions too and you’ve got even more scenarios. With different Hero choices, you get to try out different combinations and find out which Heroes really work well together. The gameplay itself may be simple (draw cards, play cards, resolve cards) but the variety of Heroes, Villains, Locations, Threats, etc. keeps it engaging and entertaining.


As for components, I only have positive things to say. The Villain/Hero minis are chunky and cute, the artwork is all colorful and fun to look at, and the cardboard tokens are thick and crisp. All the symbolism in the game is clear, and the text is legible and easy to comprehend. One thing to consider is that this game can be a bit of a table hog if you let it. So just be prepared for a bit of a bigger footprint with this one. Overall, great production quality of the base game, and from what I’ve seen of the expansions, those are top notch as well.
Don’t let the cutesy artwork fool you – Marvel United isn’t an easy game by any means. It takes a decent amount of strategy to be successful, and it does really take a team effort. You stay engaged in the gameplay right up until the very end, and it’s more involved than you would think for being a lighter game. I am also a big fan of Marvel Legendary, and I have to say that this gives me those vibes, but in a more simplified and streamlined way. I’m not sure I would go as far as to call Marvel United “Marvel Legendary Jr.,” but it’s also not entirely a bad idea….. Overall though, I really liked Marvel United way more than I first anticipated. It’s light, yet strategic, and has some unique elements that keep you on your toes. I can’t wait to get my hands on some of the expansions to see how I can mix and match and create even more awesome scenarios! Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a heroic 16 / 18.
  
Whickering Place (Legacy of Darkness #2)
Whickering Place (Legacy of Darkness #2)
London Clarke | 2019 | Paranormal, Romance, Thriller
I've been a fan of London Clarke since I read her debut novel Wildfell. I was thrilled when Whickering Place, the second novel in the Legacy of Darkness series, came out. I really enjoyed the first book in the series The Meadows. I must say that Whickering Place really blew me away!

If you're a fan of vampires, ghosts, and a touch of romance, you will love Whickering Place. I'm not going to rehash the synopsis since you will have probably read it yourself, and the synopsis does such a great job at describing this book. Even though I'm not a fan of the whole vampire movement in media, I really did enjoy Whickering Place. The plot was done brilliantly. I very much enjoyed the world building. In fact, I couldn't find one fault with the world building. Clarke does a fantastic job at making sure you're left feeling like you are a bystander amidst all the action. While there is a cliffhanger at the end of Whickering Place, this was done intentionally and will hopefully all will be revealed in the next book in the series.

The pacing was slow for about the first quarter or so of the book as the backstory and plot were being set up. I will admit that I did think about just giving up on Whickering Place, but I'm glad I kept reading because wow, the pacing definitely picked up after that! Once it picked up, there was no going back. I devoured each page. The suspense kept me on my toes! I was heavily invested in the story and all of the characters in Whickering Place.

Each and every character no matter how minor or major was written fantastically! Each character had their own personality, and it felt as if I was reading about a real flesh and blood person instead of just a character in a book. Avery was a great character. I could sort of relate to her agoraphobia. I used to be almost as bad as her. I felt bad for her, and I was always hoping she would get better so she could have more of a life. I kept thinking that Avery and myself could become great friends if she was real. It was almost as if every decision she made was one that I would have made. Pearse was definitely an interesting character. I did feel bad for him when it came to The Colony. I was always hoping he'd be able to get away from them. He seemed like he had a good heart. I also felt bad for Colin when it came to Avery. It was very obvious that he cared deeply for her. Colin definitely came across as a stand up sort of guy! I didn't really care for Maris, not because she was written poorly. She was actually written quite well! She just reminded me of those pretty mean girls I knew back when I was in school. I didn't know what to think of Cassie. I liked Cassie, and I loved her personality and how willing she was to help out, but I was never sure if I could trust her 100 percent.

Trigger warnings for Whickering Place include profanity (there's not a lot though), sexual situations (although these aren't graphic, and there aren't many sexual scenes), murder, attempted murder, alcohol, dealings with the occult, demons, and violence.

Overall, Whickering Place is a thrilling read which such a fantastic set of characters and an intense plot! This is one of those books that even though it starts out slow, it does a fantastic job at pulling you right into its pages and doesn't let you go! I would definitely recommend Whickering Place by London Clarke to everyone aged 17+ who loves getting lost in a good thriller.
  
The Intern (2015)
The Intern (2015)
2015 | Comedy
8
8.0 (8 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Ben is a widower who has tried to fill his time with routine and travel since his wife passed, but he is stuck in a rut. He feels unnecessary and lonely. On his way out of a grocery store Ben spies a flier for “Senior Interns”. He discovers that they actually mean Senior Citizens and not high school seniors, and he creates a video application outlining his qualifications and telling about himself.

Jules runs her company, which she started out of her home, with an attention to detail that insists on perfection, all the while it’s strangling her home life.

She neither remembers she agreed to, nor wants to utilize, an intern of any sort, let alone an out-to-pasture one as Ben appears to be.

With quiet persistence, a good dose of humor, and genuine caring, expertise and talent, Ben goes about proving to Jules just how much she needs his brand of help and how much value he can add to her operation.

I really enjoyed this film. For me, it had just the right amount of funny and sad and even a bit of action (entrenched in a totally impossible situation, and obviously for pure comic relief sake) that made it completely enjoyable to watch.

It is rated PG-13, but I think that even a youngster in the 10 or 11 year old range, provided they were mature enough to deal with the idea of infidelity inside a marriage, would be ok to see it too. The rating was given in part due to “brief strong language” but to be honest I can’t recall any very strong language, which honestly in this day & age is a refreshing change.

I love DeNiro in almost anything I see him in, and this was no exception. I have never had strong feelings either way regarding Anne Hathaway, but I liked her in this, paired against DeNiro. The rest of the cast did their job well, but for me sort of faded into the background against the 2 main characters.

I would give this film 4 out of 5 stars, and the 4 stars is only because it wasn’t a movie I came away with a feeling of “oh my gosh that was AMAZING”, and more that I came away thinking “that was really good, I really enjoyed it and I’m glad that I got to see it.”
  
Redemption's Blade: After the War
Redemption's Blade: After the War
Adrian Tchaikovsky | 2018 | Science Fiction/Fantasy
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Prose is flowing and enjoyable (0 more)
Storyline is not engaging (2 more)
Reading the aftermath of events that you have no knowledge of
I'm still not 100% sure there wasn't an earlier book I'm meant to have read
A sequel to a book not written yet (that sounds more interesting)
*Disclosure - I received an advance copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*


Over the last few months I have been lucky to read three new Tchaikovsky books. As this was the first fantasy book of those three (the other two being war sci-fi) I had fingers crossed for a return to the heights of the Shadows of the Apt series. I was sadly disappointed.


The scope of this book is truly epic in every sense. The world we are thrown into has a diverse range of beings, species, cities, religions and beliefs and a rich history. The events follow on from the end of a tyrannical reign of the Kinslayer, a power-mad demi-god who tried to break the spirit of those races he didn't just wipe out. We see the Kinslayer-slayer Celestaine's attempts to do good in the aftermath of this war, and try to make one species whole again. This aim leads her on a journey across the world where we are introduced to a range of new peoples and places. The journey goes on from place to place, the company increasing all the while.


I have real respect for Tchaikovsky trying to do something new - tell the story that follows on from a somewhat typical fantasy tale. Sadly for me, the story that went before sounds so much more interesting and engaging - the besting of a truly despicable being. This story is instead something of an empty, largely pointless journey. The ending leads us to believe someone had been luring people with the promise of magical items, to come to him and ultimately their doom - however, the trail leading to him was not exactly clear and the chances of anyone following it would be minimal (let alone someone following it at exactly the right pace to witness certain key events!). The world-building is epic and yet completely forgettable. I found myself forgetting who people were, why they were doing things and I completely missed one major reveal in the final chapters, only to re-read and find that there pretty much was no reveal.


I am a fan of Tchaikovsky's writing style but for me this book was a struggle to get through. I had no feelings towards any of the characters and couldn't remember or care where they had been or why, or what had happened. Not a worthwhile investment of my time.
  
What You Wish For
What You Wish For
Katherine Center | 2020 | Fiction & Poetry, Romance
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
I feel bad, but I think I'm somehow immune to Katherine Center's charms, which seem to make everyone swoon over her books. With the exception of How To Walk Away, which I really enjoyed, I like her books, but never really love them. And that's definitely what happened here. In fact, I often found WISH to be utterly frustrating.

Maybe it's because I'm the child of educators, but I just kept shaking my head at the idea of a principal who could come in and unilaterally make decisions without any resistance. It made it impossible for me to focus on the rest of the story. Apparently Duncan is hired by the school founders' son-in-law--essentially a school board of one. What private school has one person on their board? What sort of private school has parents who just quietly allow someone to paint the halls gray and put bars on the windows??! None of this made any sense to me. All the resistance came down to the teachers?? I've seen parents riot over far less.

I couldn't handle it--could you tell? I also couldn't handle Sam for most of the book. I just get frustrated with Center's heroines. Sam was so whiny about nearly everything. She was more than happy to judge everyone else, yet completely resistant to owning her own life, making any changes, and opening up. Ugh. I wanted to shake her sometimes.

The book was very slow to start. Much rehashing of Sam's own problems, Duncan's arrival and the fact that--can you believe it--he is different than he was before. Hey, did you know Duncan used to be cool and funny, but now he's not?! I didn't! Oh wait, let me tell you again 15 times. Also, let's go into the fact that Sam has some issues and can never ever love again. Did I mention ever?

Also, later, without giving too much away, we completely gloss over how serious PTSD is and whitewash over the severity of things like depression, because focusing on happy things will just take away those issues completely, right? Also most plot points are telegraphed a mile away.

Sigh, I'm probably being too harsh here. The book gets a bit better as things go on. And there's a really cute kid whom I enjoyed. But still. Repetitive, predictable, and not the best at presenting mental health issues. 2.5 stars, rounding to 3 here.
  
VI
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Disclaimer: I received an e-copy in exchange for an honest review.

Luna and Cayetano are doing well, finally coming to terns with all she uncovered in "Valencian Soil." However, now there's a new issue surrounding them: There are other bodies buried at Escondrijo besides those of their relatives. What should they do? Cayetano wants Luna to let it go and give them so peace, seeing as they are to be married soon, but she can't just leave these people here, knowing how she felt looking for her grandfather. Also, Cayetano's family starts to come down on her based on her previous exploits, and Jose especially seems like he has a few secrets to hide. Will Luna be able to cope with this, as well as a multitude of other things thrown her way over the course of this story?

We've picked up right where we left off in "Valencian Soil," and the story flows just as well from first to second installment. This time, instead of regressing back to the 30s, we go back to 1957, a time when Jose was an officer with big aspirations of one day having a farm for his family. To get there, he has to make some rough decisions, and those choices and actions drastically change his life. It coincides perfectly with Luna's discovery at Escondrijo, and the reader knows how it all ties together and go along with Luna and Jose as they butt heads over her choices. Will he ever accept Luna as part of his family? Will any of them, or will she be doomed to live as the outcast foreigner forever?

4 1/2 stars
  
Hustlers (2019)
Hustlers (2019)
2019 | Drama
Verdict: Stylish Crime Story

Story: Hustlers starts as we follow a young stripper Destiny (Wu) who is working to make sure her Grandmother (Ho0 is supported, she sees the more successful dancers in the club as she is trying to find her own place in the club, looking up to the most popular dancer Ramona (Lopez).
Ramona takes Destiny under her wing to teacher her more techniques, which should give her a chance to get more money, let alone showing her about the extra tricks she has been working on for years, getting the credit cards and taking their money, showing the money flying in, taking advantage of the Wall Street clients.

Thoughts on Hustlers

Characters – Destiny is the young woman who just wants to make enough money in her life for her Grandmother who has always supported her. She has a job as a stripper which sees her start small before learning how to bring in the big money, while her life might not go to plan after she has a kid, she returns to the life as a dancer which sees her take advantage of the wall street bankers. Ramona is the experience dancer, she gets most of the attention in the club and takes Destiny under her wing in a mentor role, they have one brilliant year before things change. Once they are out the club, she leads a bigger scheme which takes thousands from the clients bringing the girls together. Elizabeth is a journalist hearing the story from Destiny about what happened with the women, she wants to hear everything to see whether they knew and thought what they did was right. We do meet plenty of the fellow girls that joined in the plan, each has different motivations and different skill levels to be part of it.
Performances – Constance Wu in the leading role is wonderful and such a big change from last years Crazy Rich Asians, proving herself as an actress that can play both sides of the acting range. Jennifer Lopez shines as the confident seductive dancer, she looks the part with ease and steals every scene she is in. Julia Stiles brings the calm reporter that is asking most of the questions that we would be asking. The rest of the cast including the dancers do a great job too.
Story – The story here follows two strippers that start their own business where they look to make massive amounts of money by drugging wall street banks and using their cards to fill their financial needs. The story here shows how the plan starts off small, but soon leads to them going for bigger scores which leads to them taking bigger risks which they didn’t need to be getting involved in. while this is based on a true story, it does show that there wasn’t much of a punishment for the women either. The mentor friendship between Destiny and Ramona is great to see as we can see how they both need each other to get through the problems they might the facing.
Comedy/Crime – The crime side of the film mixes with the comedy which shows how the women were getting away with the crime for so long without being caught in the middle of being a full-blown comedy.
Settings – The film is set in New York which shows where the targets will have too much money for their own good, which makes them an easy target.

Scene of the Movie – The bad party.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – The time jump does take away something from the story.
Final Thoughts – This is a fun crime comedy that showed how a group of hustlers swindled money out of wall street bankers who would spend anything.

Overall: Fun throughout.
  
40x40

Zuky the BookBum (15 KP) rated Misery in Books

Mar 15, 2018  
Misery
Misery
Stephen King | 1987 | Fiction & Poetry, Horror, Thriller
10
8.7 (86 Ratings)
Book Rating
Also read my review here: http://bookbum.weebly.com/book-reviews/misery-by-stephen-king

<b><i>”Annie Annie oh Annie please please no please don’t Annie I swear to you I’ll be good I swear to God I’ll be good please give me a chance to be good OH ANNIE PLEASE LET ME BE GOOD -”
“Just a little pain. Then this nasty business will be behind us for good Paul.”</b></i>

Well hot fucking damn. Is this the best book I’ve read all year? <b>I think it might be.</b> I am officially a Stephen King fan. A “Stephen King convert” as my mother is calling me. Misery is a goddamn masterpiece. It’s <i>so</i> tense. I don’t know how anyone can write so well that I’m actually squirming. <b>LEGIT SQUIRMING AS I READ.</b>

Misery is about a bestselling author, Paul Sheldon, who, after celebrating his completion of his next (and best) book, drinks a little too much champagne and gets himself into a nasty car accident in the middle of nowhere. He wakes to find his legs shattered but splintered (splinted???) in a mysterious house. Luckily, or unluckily, he’s found himself saved and in the capable hands of his number one fan and ex-nurse, Annie Wilkes.

I put off reading Misery for, oh I don’t know, maybe 5 years? I watched the film, of course, because disliking a film can be down to a number of variables, the wrong director, actors you dislike, bad script etc, but not liking a book, <i>a Stephen King book</i>, is down to one and one thing only, the author. And I was <i>so</i> terrified I wouldn’t like Stephen King! Honestly, terrified is this right word for it. I didn’t want to turn around in a house, no, a society, that claims Stephen King is a modern day Charles Dickens, of sorts, and say “nah, not that into him myself”. But lo and behold, I ended up liking both the film and the book, thank Christ. The book more so than the film, but isn’t that usually the case? Although the actors for both Paul and Annie in the film version were <i>spot on.</i>

I don’t think I’ve ever been so vocal whilst reading a book. Misery had me yelping and oohing and arring and laughing and yucking all the way through. King’s writing is so vivid you <i>are</i> Paul Sheldon for the duration of the book. You’re Paul, rolling around in his wheelchair, holding your breath and crying and sweating, hoping that car you hear isn’t Annie’s. Hoping she’s holding those Godsent Novril tablets every few hours to subdue your pain. Wondering how the hell you’re ever going to be able to escape. You completely immerse yourself in the nail biting story, page by page. This is a perfect novel from start to finish, that’s all I have left to say.

If you’ve never read Stephen King before, start with Misery. <b>I double donkey dare you.</b>