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Allison Anders recommended Monterey Pop (1968) in Movies (curated)
Sheridan (209 KP) rated Mindhunter - Season 1 in TV
Apr 28, 2019
The Content (1 more)
The Concept
Slow Yet Twisted
I had a friend recommend this show to me and I thought, alright I'm constantly attempting to figure out why people's minds work the way they do, this could be interesting. Let me tell you right off the bat, push through that first episode, I promise you it gets more interesting. The first episode is a disaster, there's too much shoved in there (one second Ford is an active agent, then suddenly he's teaching, straight after he's at college, then he's working in the BSU) it was dull at best and dead confusing at worst. While the content is interesting, the characters and the relationships are odd and strained. Ford comes across like an actual serial killer (especially when he does that creepy wide-eyed stare *shivers*), he's socially awkward, his mannerisms feel stunted and strange and overall he is not a likeable character. I like to feel connected in some way to the characters I'm watching and at this stage Ed is more relatable than Ford (which is terrifying because - actual murderer there ?). The girlfriend is even worse, they both feel just - forced (and what's with the weirdly placed sex scenes?! They don't add anything to the story at all!) There's oddly placed scenes which are weird and don't make sense (Carr and the tuna/invisible cat - why - just why was that in there? It wasn't necessary and what was the point of that? Was it supposed to be creepy? Unsettling? Because for me it was just random and pointless). Tench is the only consistant, interesting character (who, bless him, smokes waaaay too much). Overall the show is slow, which admittedly can be a good thing, especially because at first they see so much resistance to the idea that people aren't always just 'born bad', but it never really picks up speed (like you're kind of expecting it to). The last episode is very odd, Ford becomes confusing and erratic, which is a complete 360 from his dead-eyed emotionally inept character in the first episodes. Is he having a breakdown? Is he realising he shares traits with the violent killers he's interviewing? The ending didn't make sense to me at all. I give the show an 8 for content because it is super fascinating, and appropriately disturbing but character wise it's definitely a 5, you just never really 'connect' with anyone. That being said, I will watch the next season, because it's still an interesting show, though it will be at the bottom of my 'to watch' list.
Emma @ The Movies (1786 KP) rated Playing with Fire (2019) in Movies
Jan 9, 2020
Seeing the trailer for this I was mildly excited, this sort of daft family humour holds a place in my heart and it looked like I was going to get another film to add to the "pick me up" watchlist. But oh my, everything about this experience rubbed me the wrong way.
Jake Carson runs a rugged group of smokejumpers that swoop into action and stop fires from taking hold. On their latest callout they find a cabin about to be engulfed by flames and trapped inside are three children in need of help.
Following the rules, Jake calls Child Protective Services, but being so remote they won't be able to get to them quickly. It's now their duty to keep the three of them safe until they arrive. Four grown men, three kids... what could possibly go wrong?
Where to start? How about that humour I was looking forward to? Or perhaps the severe lack of it. Over the whole runtime I laughed more at the end credits that I did at the whole film. Keegan-Michael Key is by far the funniest thing about the film, but it still isn't a perfect part. Key's way of sliding into scenes and just taking over was excellent, it made me smile, but when these moments started he was funny with just the right amount of over the top but the script would quite often throw him over that fine line and it became tiresome.
John Cena generally isn't bad when it comes to comedy offerings, but in Playing With Fire he's very stiff even for the by-the-books character he's playing. It felt like Jake had been made too straight-laced, he needs to make the transition from uptight to more relaxed but they could have brought it down just one step and it would have been something a lot easier to watch.
Brianna Hildebrand plays the oldest of the rescued children, Brynn. She gives a solid performance and probably has the best character overall, no frustrating quirks, nothing over the top. While she manages to make a good show of it being up against the over the top nature of everything else means it gets lost in the background.
While there might be a twist on the sort of story it doesn't feel new in any respects. I'm feeling rather let down with the whole thing but thankfully we're not short of other films that do this exact thing.
Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/01/playing-with-fire-movie-review.html
Jake Carson runs a rugged group of smokejumpers that swoop into action and stop fires from taking hold. On their latest callout they find a cabin about to be engulfed by flames and trapped inside are three children in need of help.
Following the rules, Jake calls Child Protective Services, but being so remote they won't be able to get to them quickly. It's now their duty to keep the three of them safe until they arrive. Four grown men, three kids... what could possibly go wrong?
Where to start? How about that humour I was looking forward to? Or perhaps the severe lack of it. Over the whole runtime I laughed more at the end credits that I did at the whole film. Keegan-Michael Key is by far the funniest thing about the film, but it still isn't a perfect part. Key's way of sliding into scenes and just taking over was excellent, it made me smile, but when these moments started he was funny with just the right amount of over the top but the script would quite often throw him over that fine line and it became tiresome.
John Cena generally isn't bad when it comes to comedy offerings, but in Playing With Fire he's very stiff even for the by-the-books character he's playing. It felt like Jake had been made too straight-laced, he needs to make the transition from uptight to more relaxed but they could have brought it down just one step and it would have been something a lot easier to watch.
Brianna Hildebrand plays the oldest of the rescued children, Brynn. She gives a solid performance and probably has the best character overall, no frustrating quirks, nothing over the top. While she manages to make a good show of it being up against the over the top nature of everything else means it gets lost in the background.
While there might be a twist on the sort of story it doesn't feel new in any respects. I'm feeling rather let down with the whole thing but thankfully we're not short of other films that do this exact thing.
Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/01/playing-with-fire-movie-review.html
NF
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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Niche in Tabletop Games
Mar 3, 2021
I have a gamer confession to make and I am not sure how it will be received. Perhaps it isn’t a gamer confession at all. I will let you be the judge. I am not a fan of Sudoku. There! I said it, and I stand by it. I find it tedious and far too intelligent a game for me. However, if someone would just dumb it down enough for me to get it, I may actually enjoy it. Oh wait, Andy Hopwood did that for me already? Hot dog!
Niche is a puzzly abstracty Sudoku-y card sheddy game for two to seven players that can be played in as few as 10 minutes. In it players attempt to shed their hand and score the most points by adding cards to established lines of cards. As with most of Andy Hopwood’s games, though, there is a twist.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup the dealer will shuffle the deck and, well, deal out seven cards to each player. The cards not dealt form a deck and from this deck a starter card is flipped to the table. Setup is complete and the game may now begin!
On a turn each player will need to perform three steps: Select, Place, Score. When Selecting a card from their hand the player will need to observe the last played card. This card will essentially inform the player of what CANNOT be played. For example (per the photo above), if a yellow triangle was just played, then the next card played can be NEITHER yellow nor a triangle. So from their hand the active player will select a group of cards that can be played this turn and choose one to add adjacently to the most recently played card.
The player then must Place their card such that they do not add the same card to the line that already exists within the line. For an example here (per the photo below), the most recently played card is a blue circle. In hand are two blue squares, a yellow square, and a red square. As the previous card is blue the only choices left are the yellow and red square. However, the card played previous to the blue circle was a yellow square, so that leaves our player with only one choice: the red square connected to the blue circle. Now, the player could actually use the yellow square, but would need to place it below the blue circle forming the beginning of a new line. I will explain why that is a less strategic play.
When players perform the third step in a turn, Scoring, they will count up all cards in the lines extended by their card, both vertically and horizontally. In our previous example the red square continues a line of two cards so their score for that placement is three. Should they place the yellow square below they will only score two as they have added onto only one card. Fans of Azul will be familiar with this scoring system. Players are expected to keep track of their own scores each turn.
Should a player not have any legal plays using cards in their hand they must pass, and await their next turn. Play continues in this manner of players performing these three steps in a turn until a player sheds their entire hand of cards. All other players will have one more chance to play one card to score points. Players add up all the points they have scored throughout the game and the player with the most points is the winner!
Components. This is a deck of cards in a tuckbox. The cards are all fine quality, and the iconography could not be much clearer. I have zero qualms with the components here.
Gameplay is super quick and puzzly, with a great weight for its type of game. This will not be a centerpiece title of the game night, but will offer filler style gameplay for gamers mulling about or waiting for the next game to begin. I enjoy the simplicity of the rules coupled with the puzzly and thinky nature of each turn. Obviously the name of the game is scoring points, so you want to add to an already-long line instead of having to begin a new off-shoot somewhere, but it is near impossible to anticipate what other players will place on their turns. Therefore, more strategic players will find either solace or frustration from the more tactical style of play here.
I do want to mention that this game was originally designed for an event benefiting The Foundation for Conductive Education in the UK. Quote taken from the BGG profile for Niche: “The game aims to promote and support The Foundation for Conductive Education. This method works with children and adults who have conditions such as Cerebral Palsy, Stroke, M.S. or Parkinsons, helping them to lead more independent lives.” I know this organization holds a special place in the designer’s heart and I just wanted to take a moment to give a shout-out to this amazing organization and this amazing person who created a game for the benefit of others. I applaud both entities, and hope for much success.
That said, Niche is a game that can be played with any type of gamer in almost any situation. It takes up little table space (at most nine cards in a line) and is rules-light. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one an extended 8 / 12. If you are a fan of Sudoku and would like to explore a little card game that gives this reviewer the same vibe (but infinitely more fun) then I urge you to grab a copy of Niche. Not only will you be purchasing a good little game, but your purchase also goes toward furthering an organization that is doing very important work in the UK. And if you would like to feel very smart, play Niche with me sometime and watch me struggle to play the right card.
Niche is a puzzly abstracty Sudoku-y card sheddy game for two to seven players that can be played in as few as 10 minutes. In it players attempt to shed their hand and score the most points by adding cards to established lines of cards. As with most of Andy Hopwood’s games, though, there is a twist.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup the dealer will shuffle the deck and, well, deal out seven cards to each player. The cards not dealt form a deck and from this deck a starter card is flipped to the table. Setup is complete and the game may now begin!
On a turn each player will need to perform three steps: Select, Place, Score. When Selecting a card from their hand the player will need to observe the last played card. This card will essentially inform the player of what CANNOT be played. For example (per the photo above), if a yellow triangle was just played, then the next card played can be NEITHER yellow nor a triangle. So from their hand the active player will select a group of cards that can be played this turn and choose one to add adjacently to the most recently played card.
The player then must Place their card such that they do not add the same card to the line that already exists within the line. For an example here (per the photo below), the most recently played card is a blue circle. In hand are two blue squares, a yellow square, and a red square. As the previous card is blue the only choices left are the yellow and red square. However, the card played previous to the blue circle was a yellow square, so that leaves our player with only one choice: the red square connected to the blue circle. Now, the player could actually use the yellow square, but would need to place it below the blue circle forming the beginning of a new line. I will explain why that is a less strategic play.
When players perform the third step in a turn, Scoring, they will count up all cards in the lines extended by their card, both vertically and horizontally. In our previous example the red square continues a line of two cards so their score for that placement is three. Should they place the yellow square below they will only score two as they have added onto only one card. Fans of Azul will be familiar with this scoring system. Players are expected to keep track of their own scores each turn.
Should a player not have any legal plays using cards in their hand they must pass, and await their next turn. Play continues in this manner of players performing these three steps in a turn until a player sheds their entire hand of cards. All other players will have one more chance to play one card to score points. Players add up all the points they have scored throughout the game and the player with the most points is the winner!
Components. This is a deck of cards in a tuckbox. The cards are all fine quality, and the iconography could not be much clearer. I have zero qualms with the components here.
Gameplay is super quick and puzzly, with a great weight for its type of game. This will not be a centerpiece title of the game night, but will offer filler style gameplay for gamers mulling about or waiting for the next game to begin. I enjoy the simplicity of the rules coupled with the puzzly and thinky nature of each turn. Obviously the name of the game is scoring points, so you want to add to an already-long line instead of having to begin a new off-shoot somewhere, but it is near impossible to anticipate what other players will place on their turns. Therefore, more strategic players will find either solace or frustration from the more tactical style of play here.
I do want to mention that this game was originally designed for an event benefiting The Foundation for Conductive Education in the UK. Quote taken from the BGG profile for Niche: “The game aims to promote and support The Foundation for Conductive Education. This method works with children and adults who have conditions such as Cerebral Palsy, Stroke, M.S. or Parkinsons, helping them to lead more independent lives.” I know this organization holds a special place in the designer’s heart and I just wanted to take a moment to give a shout-out to this amazing organization and this amazing person who created a game for the benefit of others. I applaud both entities, and hope for much success.
That said, Niche is a game that can be played with any type of gamer in almost any situation. It takes up little table space (at most nine cards in a line) and is rules-light. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one an extended 8 / 12. If you are a fan of Sudoku and would like to explore a little card game that gives this reviewer the same vibe (but infinitely more fun) then I urge you to grab a copy of Niche. Not only will you be purchasing a good little game, but your purchase also goes toward furthering an organization that is doing very important work in the UK. And if you would like to feel very smart, play Niche with me sometime and watch me struggle to play the right card.
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Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Biutiful (2010) in Movies
Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Jun 23, 2019)
At times, it's difficult to summarize your thoughts about a specific film. It isn't because the film is necessarily so good or bad that it's beyond words, but because you're unsure how to feel about said film until the credits finally roll. Biutiful is such a film.
The film revolves around Uxbal, portrayed by Javier Bardem (No Country For Old Men) sporting a mullet, so expectations are already high. Uxbal has just been diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer, but isn't ready to leave this world. His two children are still young and Uxbal feels that their mother, who's more interested in partaking in promiscuous behavior while dealing with a bipolar disorder, isn't fit to take care of their children. Meanwhile Uxbal supports his family by partnering with both the Chinese and African street merchants that are in the country illegally. Together they sell pirated movies and cheap knockoffs of clothing and accessories made by Chinese men, women, and children that live in a warehouse used as a sweatshop. To top it off, Uxbal has the ability to communicate with the dead and is called upon to help people who have recently passed to let go and move on to the other side. Although hesitant at first, Uxbal has every intention of getting his affairs in order, reconciling his marriage, and making sure his children have someone to take care of them after he's gone. Unfortunately, things don't always go as planned.
Biutiful, its spelling having a simple yet somewhat brilliant explanation, features a lot of symbolism that will go over viewers heads. It also is incredibly similar to Iñárritu's previous works such as 21 Grams and Babel in both style and tone, but is the director's first film to be presented in Spanish. The drama is beyond bleak and practically hopeless. The out of tune soundtrack, the rocks Uxbal gives to his children, and people clutching to the ceiling will leave many scratching their heads. Many ideas seem to be hinted at, but are never fully fleshed out like reflections and shadows moving out of sync from their source. However, the film is driven by Bardem's emotionally draining, physical, and all around powerful performance.
The scene that really makes the entire film worthwhile is the scene in the Chinese warehouse right before Uxbal visits his brother's strip club. It's the most effective, long-lasting, and memorable scene in the film. In the same breath though, what was up with the sound? It was like it was purposely terrible at certain points in the film. At times, it seemed significant to showcase the sound of the characters' heartbeats, but just felt sloppy the one or two other times it occurred. There were also quite a few memorable quotes in the film including, "It's dangerous to trust a man who's hungry."
Biutiful is an unusual drama that is both confusing at times and ridiculously intriguing at others. A vigorously passionate performance by Javier Bardem may not be enough to save what is otherwise a sometimes mindboggling and hellacious journey through the eyes of what seems like the most unlucky man in the world. Even in comparison to his other works, Biutiful seems even more bleak and dreary than Iñárritu's other works. What's bizarre is that the film does give you a strange sense of hope. No matter how bad you think your life currently is or was, this film proves that it can always be worse even if the presentation is more than a little mentally and emotionally exhausting. It's also interesting to note that even though the film leans more to the bizarre side while being downright depressing, it does make a long-lasting impression and sticks with you as you contemplate scenes and occurrences in the film days after you've seen it.
The film revolves around Uxbal, portrayed by Javier Bardem (No Country For Old Men) sporting a mullet, so expectations are already high. Uxbal has just been diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer, but isn't ready to leave this world. His two children are still young and Uxbal feels that their mother, who's more interested in partaking in promiscuous behavior while dealing with a bipolar disorder, isn't fit to take care of their children. Meanwhile Uxbal supports his family by partnering with both the Chinese and African street merchants that are in the country illegally. Together they sell pirated movies and cheap knockoffs of clothing and accessories made by Chinese men, women, and children that live in a warehouse used as a sweatshop. To top it off, Uxbal has the ability to communicate with the dead and is called upon to help people who have recently passed to let go and move on to the other side. Although hesitant at first, Uxbal has every intention of getting his affairs in order, reconciling his marriage, and making sure his children have someone to take care of them after he's gone. Unfortunately, things don't always go as planned.
Biutiful, its spelling having a simple yet somewhat brilliant explanation, features a lot of symbolism that will go over viewers heads. It also is incredibly similar to Iñárritu's previous works such as 21 Grams and Babel in both style and tone, but is the director's first film to be presented in Spanish. The drama is beyond bleak and practically hopeless. The out of tune soundtrack, the rocks Uxbal gives to his children, and people clutching to the ceiling will leave many scratching their heads. Many ideas seem to be hinted at, but are never fully fleshed out like reflections and shadows moving out of sync from their source. However, the film is driven by Bardem's emotionally draining, physical, and all around powerful performance.
The scene that really makes the entire film worthwhile is the scene in the Chinese warehouse right before Uxbal visits his brother's strip club. It's the most effective, long-lasting, and memorable scene in the film. In the same breath though, what was up with the sound? It was like it was purposely terrible at certain points in the film. At times, it seemed significant to showcase the sound of the characters' heartbeats, but just felt sloppy the one or two other times it occurred. There were also quite a few memorable quotes in the film including, "It's dangerous to trust a man who's hungry."
Biutiful is an unusual drama that is both confusing at times and ridiculously intriguing at others. A vigorously passionate performance by Javier Bardem may not be enough to save what is otherwise a sometimes mindboggling and hellacious journey through the eyes of what seems like the most unlucky man in the world. Even in comparison to his other works, Biutiful seems even more bleak and dreary than Iñárritu's other works. What's bizarre is that the film does give you a strange sense of hope. No matter how bad you think your life currently is or was, this film proves that it can always be worse even if the presentation is more than a little mentally and emotionally exhausting. It's also interesting to note that even though the film leans more to the bizarre side while being downright depressing, it does make a long-lasting impression and sticks with you as you contemplate scenes and occurrences in the film days after you've seen it.
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Transformers Revenge of the Fallen (2009) in Movies
Jun 22, 2019
In 2009, I saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in theaters during a midnight screening on its day of release. Somehow I managed to sit through a two and a half hour movie, drive home, write a review, post it, and promote it all before I went to bed that morning at 5am. Looking back, I still have no idea how something like that was accomplished while also juggling a full-time job. Needless to say, I've been eager to revisit Revenge of the Fallen ever since. Delirium begins to set in at that hour and midnight screenings are rarely ever not fun. Not to mention my skills as a movie critic have evolved greatly since then and my tastes have altered. The movie deserved a proper review with a sober state of mind. And yes, thankfully, the trip was worth taking because I'm not quite as enthusiastic about Revenge of the Fallen being such a great piece of cinema as its glaring flaws tend to overshadow what little good it had going for it.
The writing is obviously the sequel's biggest flaw and not just the storyline, but the dialogue as well. The Fallen touched down on earth all the way back in 17,000 B.C. and while we've been able to uncover the likes of cavemen existing thereabouts during that time period, there's no evidence of autobots or decepticons existing in that point in history. With the way they fight and their vast numbers, that seems pretty hard to believe. Oh, and look, Sam has held onto the shirt he wore when the world almost came to an end in the last movie and apparently hasn't ever washed it. A sliver of the allspark has just been sitting in that thing this entire time. Alice actually being a decepticon didn't feel right either. Probable maybe, but it just didn't seem to fit with all other transformers being vehicles of some kind. Meanwhile Soundwave is a satellite in this movie, but walks around on earth with some crazy worm thing in Dark of the Moon with no reason of him evolving between films.
The movie has a thing about humping, too. We see two male dogs humping on more than one occasion and Wheelie also humps the crap out of Megan Fox's leg, but that's not the only time male genitalia comes into play. We also get a good glimpse at the testicles of the Sun Harvester as John Turturro spits out a one-liner about its scrotum. Leo and his freaking out over absolutely everything is also really annoying and makes Shia LaBeouf's "BUM-BULL-BEE!!!" and "OP-TIM-US!!!" squawks feel like a breath of fresh air. Sam's parents are practically the kryptonite of the movie as they're featured way too much and in the worst of times. Sam's mom has the lamest dialogue while also overreacting to everything while his dad can't decide to let Sam go or protect him. Why they were ever even Egypt is a boggling question in itself. Why are there autobots in heaven? If Megatron's master was The Fallen and he took orders from Sentinel Prime in Dark of the Moon, just how many other Decepticons does he answer to? The questions and plot holes just seem endless.
The atrocious dialogue practically echoes through your bones. It starts with Ironhide saying, "Punk ass decepticon," and never really lets up. Between Sam's parents "smelling" a "$40,000 education," and Simmons telling everyone that what he was about to show them was "top secret" and "do not tell my mother," the bases are pretty much covered. Military sergeants listening to a kid in college seems outlandish anyway, but throwing their absolute blind faith in him seems really outrageous. I realize the cast of the movie had the writer's strike to deal with, but two of the three writers for Revenge of the Fallen also wrote Star Trek which showed none of the same problems that this movie had. The writing in a Michael Bay movie is already secondary. Throw in a writer's strike and you've got something as apocalyptic behind the camera as what's taking place on screen.
There is something entertaining deep within the loins of this cinematic abomination though. The special effects are more than satisfying and pretty much outshine the special effects in the first movie. Onscreen battles are more extraordinary, explosions are bigger, and the numbers are more massive. It feels more like an actual war this time around. Bumblebee also gets his time to shine in the sequel. His scene in the garage with Sam at the start of the movie is one of the better calm scenes in the entire thing and then there are his fight scenes. Several of the fight scenes seem inspired by Mortal Kombat; Bumblebee's spine-rip sequence and Optimus’ face ripping and hand bursting through the chest of The Fallen with its villainous heart. Optimus feels very scarcely used in the two Transformers sequels. He has a few scenes where he gets to be awesome and then spends a good portion of the movie being incapacitated. At least he was dead in this one, that's a liable excuse. In Dark of the Moon, he's basically just hanging out upside down for thirty to forty minutes while hundreds of people die. Even though The Fallen is dealt with in a matter of minutes, he is kind of cool. He teleports a lot like Nightcrawler and is voiced by Tony Todd. Unfortunately, he's only appealing on the surface, kind of sucks as a main villain, and is a total embarrassment to the decepticons.
Michael Bay needs to learn that more explosions and more destructive mayhem don't automatically make a film better than its predecessor. There are more battles between the autobots and decepticons, the stakes are higher, and the special effects are more impressive, but it's essentially just eye candy or like giving reconstructive facial surgery to a really hideous person; they're still ugly but their appearance is at least nice to look at now. With a storyline that jumps all over the place for no rhyme or reason, really terrible dialogue being spewed from just about every major character, and The Twins probably being more offensive than they are humorous, Revenge of the Fallen falls short of being half as good as Bay's original effort and is quite difficult to think of as anything more than a guilty pleasure.
The writing is obviously the sequel's biggest flaw and not just the storyline, but the dialogue as well. The Fallen touched down on earth all the way back in 17,000 B.C. and while we've been able to uncover the likes of cavemen existing thereabouts during that time period, there's no evidence of autobots or decepticons existing in that point in history. With the way they fight and their vast numbers, that seems pretty hard to believe. Oh, and look, Sam has held onto the shirt he wore when the world almost came to an end in the last movie and apparently hasn't ever washed it. A sliver of the allspark has just been sitting in that thing this entire time. Alice actually being a decepticon didn't feel right either. Probable maybe, but it just didn't seem to fit with all other transformers being vehicles of some kind. Meanwhile Soundwave is a satellite in this movie, but walks around on earth with some crazy worm thing in Dark of the Moon with no reason of him evolving between films.
The movie has a thing about humping, too. We see two male dogs humping on more than one occasion and Wheelie also humps the crap out of Megan Fox's leg, but that's not the only time male genitalia comes into play. We also get a good glimpse at the testicles of the Sun Harvester as John Turturro spits out a one-liner about its scrotum. Leo and his freaking out over absolutely everything is also really annoying and makes Shia LaBeouf's "BUM-BULL-BEE!!!" and "OP-TIM-US!!!" squawks feel like a breath of fresh air. Sam's parents are practically the kryptonite of the movie as they're featured way too much and in the worst of times. Sam's mom has the lamest dialogue while also overreacting to everything while his dad can't decide to let Sam go or protect him. Why they were ever even Egypt is a boggling question in itself. Why are there autobots in heaven? If Megatron's master was The Fallen and he took orders from Sentinel Prime in Dark of the Moon, just how many other Decepticons does he answer to? The questions and plot holes just seem endless.
The atrocious dialogue practically echoes through your bones. It starts with Ironhide saying, "Punk ass decepticon," and never really lets up. Between Sam's parents "smelling" a "$40,000 education," and Simmons telling everyone that what he was about to show them was "top secret" and "do not tell my mother," the bases are pretty much covered. Military sergeants listening to a kid in college seems outlandish anyway, but throwing their absolute blind faith in him seems really outrageous. I realize the cast of the movie had the writer's strike to deal with, but two of the three writers for Revenge of the Fallen also wrote Star Trek which showed none of the same problems that this movie had. The writing in a Michael Bay movie is already secondary. Throw in a writer's strike and you've got something as apocalyptic behind the camera as what's taking place on screen.
There is something entertaining deep within the loins of this cinematic abomination though. The special effects are more than satisfying and pretty much outshine the special effects in the first movie. Onscreen battles are more extraordinary, explosions are bigger, and the numbers are more massive. It feels more like an actual war this time around. Bumblebee also gets his time to shine in the sequel. His scene in the garage with Sam at the start of the movie is one of the better calm scenes in the entire thing and then there are his fight scenes. Several of the fight scenes seem inspired by Mortal Kombat; Bumblebee's spine-rip sequence and Optimus’ face ripping and hand bursting through the chest of The Fallen with its villainous heart. Optimus feels very scarcely used in the two Transformers sequels. He has a few scenes where he gets to be awesome and then spends a good portion of the movie being incapacitated. At least he was dead in this one, that's a liable excuse. In Dark of the Moon, he's basically just hanging out upside down for thirty to forty minutes while hundreds of people die. Even though The Fallen is dealt with in a matter of minutes, he is kind of cool. He teleports a lot like Nightcrawler and is voiced by Tony Todd. Unfortunately, he's only appealing on the surface, kind of sucks as a main villain, and is a total embarrassment to the decepticons.
Michael Bay needs to learn that more explosions and more destructive mayhem don't automatically make a film better than its predecessor. There are more battles between the autobots and decepticons, the stakes are higher, and the special effects are more impressive, but it's essentially just eye candy or like giving reconstructive facial surgery to a really hideous person; they're still ugly but their appearance is at least nice to look at now. With a storyline that jumps all over the place for no rhyme or reason, really terrible dialogue being spewed from just about every major character, and The Twins probably being more offensive than they are humorous, Revenge of the Fallen falls short of being half as good as Bay's original effort and is quite difficult to think of as anything more than a guilty pleasure.