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Doctor Who: Time of the Daleks
Doctor Who: Time of the Daleks
2017 | Entertainment, Science Fiction
I cannot tell you what a big fan of Doctor Who I am. I have one sticker on my car, and it’s a DW TARDIS right there in the upper left. They say you’ll never forget your first Doctor, and I only started watching several years into the reboot, but started with 9. And then 10 stole my heart. 11 was also quite amazing and I always reference people who have never seen the show to please please please watch, “Vincent and the Doctor.” If you watch that episode and are not moved to tears by the sheer beauty of the story being told, you absolutely have no soul. And if after watching that episode you are not an immediately-converted Whovian, then it was never meant to be. So why then is my rating on this game so lackluster if I love the IP so?


Doctor Who: Time of the Daleks (which I will carefully refer to as DW from here on out though I would never abbreviate to Dr.) is an adventure dice racing game, even though the only official tag is dice. In it, players take on the roles of different Doctor regenerations and will travel through time and space collecting companions, Timey-Wimey cards, and Sonic Charges in order to manipulate dice rolls to defeat Dilemmas and Time Anomalies that pop up at the absolute worst times.
To setup, follow the rulebook instructions – there are just too many components to detail here. The game takes up quite a bit of table space, so do make sure to use your largest table.

On a player’s turn they will be adding Sonic Charges, shuffling up companions, and rolling the TARDIS die to determine travel. Once at a location, the Doctor (and subsequent harem) can Adventure by assessing the challenge of dice results printed on the Location board plus the Dilemma disc combined. It is these icons that must be rolled (and possibly manipulated) in order to have a successful adventure. If successful, typically this involves a reward of moving the TARDIS pawn on the main Web of Time board closer to Gallifrey, in addition to other rewards. Failure on an adventure will typically result in the Dalek ship being moved further from Skaro and closer to Gallifrey.

Once the Doctors have had their turn, the Daleks will take a turn. Immediately move the Dalek ship one space on the Web of Time track towards Gallifrey, and if they have reached Gallifrey before any Doctor, or on the same turn as a Doctor, the Daleks win and the Doctors all lose. If not, play continues in this fashion until one of those win conditions are met, along with a couple more loss conditions I will leave you to discover.


This is a very pared-down synopsis of the rules, and I have intentionally left out several rules so as not to bog down my paraphrasing with minutia. Take this into consideration when determining if this is the game for you.
Components. All in all the components in DW are absolutely stellar! All the cardboard is thick and features great art and screencaps (which is a polarizing subject that I simply don’t mind). The dice are great quality, though I wish they had chosen a different color for the blue dice so that the TARDIS die would be the only blue in the box. The minis are great, and have interchangeable bases because throughout the game the Doctors may have to regenerate, thus switching to a different Doctor mid-game (awesome mechanic for this IP by the way).

Let me tell you why I like this DW game and why I do not. Firstly, the game is just too hard for me. Maybe it’s how I roll the dice, but I feel I am almost never in possession of enough resources to be able to reroll or manually manipulate my dice results enough to have the requisite amount of successful adventures. Some challenges require the Doctor to roll six dice, but then there are restrictions in play that drop a Doctor’s dice pool down to six, thus creating a you-must-roll-EXACTLY-what-you-need-to-win scenario that is tough to swallow for a dice game. Also, this next part is completely personal opinion, I wish that 10 was included in the starter box. I got my 11, and I appreciate that, but I feel like 10 is the most widely-popular Doctor in the franchise, or at least in New Who, so the ball was dropped here. I know I can purchase 10 in an expansion pack with 5 (and kudos to whomever made THAT combination), but I want him NOW.

Time travel games are so difficult to pull off, and with Doctor Who you HAVE to consider that time travel will play a very important part in gameplay. I believe this title handles it well, and even allows for multiple Doctors to work together (let’s not talk about time paradoxes for now). That is great and allows for excellent cooperative play, so I applaud the designer for that. I also enjoy the different abilities given by each different regeneration as well as what the companions each bring to the table. Perhaps a companion will add certain colors of dice to the Dice Pool, or allow the Doctor to switch out some of his generic dice for stronger and more specific dice, or simply allow rerolls of certain colors of dice. I dig that a lot. And seeing my precious companions in the game matched up to their Doctors fills me with a sense of nostalgia that I just do not feel in other games.

While this has been the subject of much deliberation on my part, I will be keeping my copy of the game, and will most definitely be adding 5 and 10 to the mix. I really want to like this game more than I do, and maybe having 10 in my arsenal is enough to do it, though I have my doubts. I love the Doctor Who IP and love dice games. I think this is a good game overall, and will continue to explore it with other gamers. Something will click, I’m sure of it. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one wibbly-wobbly 8 / 12. If you need a difficult dice game in your collection and also love the Doctors, pick up a copy. But also do yourself a favor and grab a copy of any expansion that includes your favorite Doctor – you will thank me later. Spoilers, sweetie, that’s coming in tomorrow’s post.
  
Along for the Ride
Along for the Ride
Sarah Dessen | 2009 | Young Adult (YA)
10
7.5 (8 Ratings)
Book Rating
Sarah Dessen caught me by the cover: I’m a bike rider. So I approached this book with eagerness, and it paid. The story was compelling, as Dessen’s novels always are, and they force you to read just one more chapter. I got to the end of the book, and wished there were more chapters. I re-read the last chapter a few times, just because it was so perfect. So so perfect. It solved all the problems in the book, didn’t leave you hanging, and made you smile and whisper to yourself “yes.”

She’s academically focused to the point that she runs to her studies when she’s afraid of choices, she’s developed a sleeping disorder from her parent’s fights before they divorced, and now she’s visiting her dad and his new wife and newborn baby for the summer, simply for lack of anything else to do. But Auden is named after a poet that nobody knows about, has forgotten how to ride a bike, and made a bad first impression with her new co-workers. She meets a quiet boy named Eli with too many secrets and all the right answers. She missed prom because her date was just like her—to school-centered to care about having fun in life. She never had a food fight, she never broke curfew, and she’s never been to a bar (“it’s a rite of passage!”). Eli is astonished that anyone could get through the first eighteen years of their life without going bowling at least once, and sets out to help her experience everything she missed. But now that she has the answers to the things she missed in life, and can see the next step and the decisions she has to make, she has to choose to “get back on that bike,” even when she falls down.

The characters in this story were so relatable. I understood exactly how Auden felt (even though I did build a tree-house in third grade) and could feel her confusion in this strange new social world of hers, the surprise of showing up at work one day and discovering “hey, whoa. How did this happen? I have friends now!” I was blown away when I found out Eli’s mysteries, and loved Maggie even more when she showed her true colors. All characters have their fatal flaws, and these ones do too, but it makes them real people, not just fairy-tales. Her father was a selfish jerk, but he had his commitments—he just needed to prioritize his family over his novel. Her mother was a hard shell—but she could learn to talk about her feelings, and open up. Leah looked like a snob until you got to know her. And Eli… well, I’ll let you discover Eli the way you need to discover him…

I will probably buy this book when it shows up at my little used book store (because I’m too broke to buy it full price) and put it on my bookshelf with my name in the cover, and read it again, and again, and again… because I truly loved it. Thank you, Sarah Dessen, for writing good YA fiction.
  
Tell Me It's Real (At First Sight, #1)
Tell Me It's Real (At First Sight, #1)
T.J. Klune | 2013
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
This review and more can be found at my blog
https://aromancereadersreviews.blogspot.com
A Romance Reader's Reviews

Well, right from the start this had me laughing as Paul introduced himself. It was very frank and pretty much laugh-out-loud at times. He doesn't have the best opinion of himself, bless him, but he's so fun. And then he meets eyes with Vince while out at his friends drag queen performance at a bar/club and things go from there. Vince is not backing down about his intentions to date Paul, while Paul cannot believe that this younger, attractive, really nice if slightly dumb man, wants him and fights it tooth and nail.

They have a text conversation about a third of the way through the book that almost had me laughing like an idiot. The text faces that Vince was sending Paul were frigging hilarious. The Sex Face one is going to stick with me for a long time: >_<

And let's not forget Paul's parents. Oh. My. God! They are so funny it's not fair. I almost had tears streaming down my face at one point. They all go to nan's house for a meal and ignoring Johnny Depp, the homophobic parrot, they get into a conversation about how they met and it's stuff like this that has me crying with laughter at times. Vince, bless him. Not the smartest but he's a real sweetheart.
"He was choking to death in a restaurant," Vince explained
"I was not!" I said.
"On like a burrito or something."
"It was spinach."
"Anyway, he would have died had I not done the haemorrhoid manoeuvre."
"Heimlich. It's Heimlich."

There were so many conversations like this, with some crazy stuff being discussed and I LOVED it! They were such a cute couple and they gelled so well. It was so obvious they truly needed each other at the time that they found each other. Paul needed to let himself be loved and Vince needed someone to be there for him after a family issue. It was amazing!

I'm going to be keeping my eye out for other books in this series.
  
Tiny Epic Zombies
Tiny Epic Zombies
2018 | Collectible Components, Horror, Zombie / Survivalist
Who doesn’t love a day at the mall? Hanging out with friends, hitting the food court, checking out the sales at your favorite stores, trying to survive a zombie apocalypse, the possibilities are endless! Wait, what? Zombie apocalypse? Definitely NOT what you had in mind when you planned your trip to the mall, but it looks like you’re caught in the midst! The stores are in disarray and the mall is a mass of chaos (picture Black Friday shopping), and you need to get out! You and a band of survivors must fend off a hoard of zombies while collecting supplies and completing communal objectives in order to make it out alive!

Our next Tiny Epic game review brings us to the world of Zombies! Travis and I kickstarted this game last year, and it’s been a unique addition to the Tiny Epic series. Don’t let the adorable zombies fool you – the game requires a good amount of teamwork and strategy to be successful! And it can be played either cooperatively or competitively – a choice that I have not seen executed in a game before. So read on, fellow gamers, to decide if you have what it takes to survive this zombie infestation alive!

Disclaimer: There are 5 different game modes for Tiny Epic Zombies, but we have only played the completely Cooperative Game vs. an AI Zombie player. Once we have played the other game modes, we will either amend this review or write a new one! – L

Welcome to Tiny Epic Zombies – a cooperative game in which players must successfully complete 3 objectives before they are overrun by zombies. Players take on the role of mall-goers (each with a special ability) who have thus far survived the zombie outbreak. Players will move throughout the mall, battling zombies and picking up supplies, while working towards completing communal objectives. If all 3 objectives are completed, the players win! If the Search Deck runs out, or if the zombies take control of the courtyard and its remaining survivors, the players have lost the game.

For such a ‘tiny’ game, there really is a lot going on. Each player’s turn consists of 3 moves, after each of which the player may A) kill a zombie, B) use room abilities and/or interact with tokens, and C) collect items. It is important to note, players may only perform the B and C actions if there are no zombies remaining in any room of their current store. At the end of their turn, the player will reveal their Search Card (drawn blindly), and will add zombies to the mall accordingly. After zombies are added, the player blindly draws a new Search Card, and play continues. If the Search Deck runs out at any point in the game, players get one final turn to complete their objectives, otherwise they lose!

Simple, right? Not exactly. I know for me, personally, it can be hard to keep track of my turns since each of your 3 moves could potentially allow you to perform 3 additional actions. Turns can get a little muddled with so much to do if you are not paying close attention. After a few plays, it gets easier to remember the turn order, but even then I still keep the rule book on hand to double-check all of my turns.

Ultimately, the thing that can make or break a game is what objectives the players are trying to complete. You shuffle, randomly draw 3 objectives, and go from there. Some objectives are pretty involved and require lots of action to complete, while others are pretty straight-forward and simple. If you draw 3 tough ones (like we did in our first game together), it could be very difficult to succeed. The right combination of objectives can make the game super fun, but unless you hand-pick them for a balanced game, there’s always the chance you’ll get the hardest ones at once. Regarding the objectives though, I do really like that this game can be cooperative – everyone must pitch in to help, and no single player is the ‘hero.’ You have to work closely with the other players to determine the best strategy in order to complete the objectives as quickly as possible. Some objectives can be a challenge for sure, but being able to divvy up certain responsibilities can help make the game feel more manageable.

Overall, I like this game because it’s cute (just look at those little zombies!), cooperative (yay teamwork!), and challenging. There’s kind of a learning curve for turn order, but once you get the hang of it, and collectively figure out the best strategy for objective completion, the game is pretty enjoyable! Purple Phoenix Games gives this installment a bloodied 17 / 24.

https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/01/14/tiny-epic-zombies-reviews/
  
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>My Thoughts</strong></span>
<span style="color: #993300;"><strong>I loved this book and everything about it. It was wonderfully written, with characters that are real-to-life, a setting that will sweep you away to the Mount Ranier National Park and a plot that will leave you dying for more of this talented authors work. It was such a fabulous feeling reading this book. </strong></span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>This novel is a mix of historical and beautiful scenes. I felt as though I was right there with Margie and the Rangers, looking at the parks in front of them. I loved feeling as though the author was writing the story just for me, and gripped me wholly with her wonderful characters, words and messages. These characters, both good and bad, quickly steal your heart and don't let go until the end! Each page turn brings you further to the heart of Mt. Ranier taking you along for the ride of protecting the park. </strong></span>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #993300;"><strong>This is the first book in Ms. Barnett's new series and I definitely recommend it with high flying 5 stars! Ms. Barnett is a wonderful author and this book just became one of my top 10 reads for 2017! If you are looking for a book that is chiseled fantabulously, filled with hope and twists, and characters that you want to make your friends, then look no further than this start of The Vintage National Parks novels. I absolutely can not wait to get my book loving hands on book 2! Well done, Ms. Barnett! </strong></span><a href="http://cafinatedreads.com/blogging-for-book-review-the-road-to-paradise-by-karen-barnett/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Cafinated Reads</a>
  
Chronicles of Crime: 1400
Chronicles of Crime: 1400
2020 | Adventure, Deduction, Medieval, Murder & Mystery
Isn’t that box cover just awesome? I never open a preview with a comment about components, but this one warranted it because the box art is so good. Anyway, it’s Paris in the year, well, 1400 AD, and now some strange things are afoot at le Cercle K.

Chronicles of Crime: 1400 (which I shall shorten to 1400 for the duration of this preview) is an app-assisted campaign, murder-infested, cooperative storytelling game for one to four players. If you are familiar with the original Chronicles of Crime, you already know how to play 1400. However, should ye be of the uninitiated, allow me to set the stage for this incredible gaming experience.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, place the Evidence Board in the middle of the table and the Home Location Board near. Keep all the decks of cards nearby (shuffled or unshuffled, whatever is your liking) as well as the alphabetically-labeled Location Boards. Fire up the Chronicles of Crime app, choose “1400,” and then choose the case you would like to play. The app will walk players through the additional setup steps for the case being played. For this solo preview I played through The Missing Pages case. Also, to be completely upfront I got a 95/110 for a final score, but no big deal.
How do I explain this game succinctly? Well, each of the cases will involve players traveling to different Location Boards and meeting Characters at these locations. Many cases will be involving several Special Items and, new for the 1400 version, Vision Cards that may assist players in putting the case into focus. These Vision Cards do not really give the story away or anything, but are merely a vague framework of possible factors.

By using the app and scanning the QR codes on the boards and cards players will be learning about the case, viewing the scene of the crime(s), inspecting items, chatting up locals for information, and also new for 1400: consulting with the goodest boi dog companion! The dog, Perceval, assists the knight (the players) in cases by sniffing items. A word of caution, though, when you play this game do NOT have Perceval sniff any items until you are completely done with a location because he may drag you to another completely different location right away before you were ready. Not that it happened to me, mind you… okay, it did.


Play will continue not so much in “rounds” but until the players have enough evidence and a good handle on the situation enough to return Home to report to their family members all the details of the crime(s) by scanning answers to their questions about the case. The app then assesses the accuracy of the answers and outputs a score. For reference, though I did receive 95/110 on my first play of 1400 I did only receive a 70/100 on my first runthrough of the original Chronicles of Crime, so playing this style of game several times seems to improve how one plays.
Components. As most items in the box of the game are card or cardboard-based, and all really great quality, I will speak on other component items. Firstly, the art and art style throughout the game is simply stunning. I mean look at that Perceval card! And I already raved about the box cover in my opening statement. This art really speaks to me and it says, “I’m gorgeous.”

The app. I have only great things to say about the app. It’s the same app that you would use for original Chronicles of Crime, and operates the exact same way. For me it has been flawless to use and just a joy to bring technology into the gaming world, even for a game set in the year 1400. I am obviously no purist game enthusiast, as I enjoy these hybrid model games. Once you play with the app you will see how ingenious a system it really is. The app coupled with the nondescript cards and other components in the game make for infinite storytelling possibilities that can only be limited by creativity and time constraints. I love the components in the box AND the marvelous app.

Gameplay for me is also just glorious. I love being able to sit down, setup the game, and let the app tell me what’s going on. So what should I do first? Oh, let’s mosey on down here to this Location Board and drum up some information. Ooh I found an Item! I should bring it back to my Family Location Board and ask my merchant sister about it. Hmm, it’s religious in nature? Okay then, my Monkle (monk uncle) will know something about it. Okay, time to go back to that location and speak with the other person who was in there. OH CRAP, I wasted too much (in game) time and now that other person is gone?! Uh oh, I better stop messing around here…

It’s just amazing, and I love this family of games. I am so stoked to delve more into 1400 and discover more shenanigans happening in Paris. Perceval and I are out to solve all the cases and beg for more. If you are looking for a game that uses a hybrid board game/app model, are a fan of this era in history, or just want to have a really great experience playing a game, I urge you to consider Chronicles of Crime: 1400. It has everything I love in a unique game and I just can’t get enough!
  
Chronicles of Crime
Chronicles of Crime
2018 | Deduction, Entertainment, Murder & Mystery
Find the murderer, the weapon, and the location. That’s Clue/Cluedo right? Yes. Find the priceless artifact that was stolen from the museum while other complications arise is Chronicles of Crime, and specifically the Curse of the Pharaohs case. Do you have what it takes to solve this crime, and more importantly, do you have a cell phone or tablet??


Chronicles of Crime is an app-driven storytelling, deduction, adventure board game that can be played solo or cooperatively. Players will be assuming the mantles of London detectives attempting to solve difficult cases at Scotland Yard. As it is a cooperative game players will win or lose together, but the game itself will be helping players along the way.
To setup, place the Evidence Board on the table and surround it with these components: Location Boards in a stack, but Scotland Yard attached to the bottom of the Evidence Board, Character and Special Items cards in face-down stacks, Evidence Category cards face-up, and the four Forensic Contact cards nearby as well. Open the app, choose the scenario to play, and let the app guide you through the introduction to the game.


As there are no real “turns” Chronicles of Crime allows freedom for players to essentially roam around London’s sectors looking for clues to whatever crime has taken place, interrogating suspects, asking the Forensics Contacts team for support when encountering people or items, and finally attempting the solve the case. I cannot really go into much more detail in word or photo, as I wish to avoid all spoilers, but the app will guide players and assist in gentle nudges along the way. The app will be heavily used as players will need to scan the QR codes on several components in order to interact with them, and scannable components may not always be assigned the same roles in other scenarios. Once players have explored as much as they deem necessary, they may claim the group is ready to connect the dots and win the game. Players win or lose by visiting Scotland Yard to solve the case successfully or otherwise.
Components. All of the physical components included in the box are incredible. The cards feature great artwork, the components are wonderful quality, and everything has unique QR codes to scan in the app. The box insert is cleverly-designed and certainly ready to accept expansion materials. The greatest component, however, is the Chronicles of Crime companion app. This app is simply amazing. It is absolutely necessary for play, but once downloaded it requires no Internet access (unless you decide to download additional materials or scenarios). The app is so well-designed and engaging, and the music is minimal but certainly mood-setting. I can clearly see why using an app is essential here, and allows the team to add more and more content without having to alter the physical components at all. A stroke of genius, in my mind!

All in all I was, and still am, blown away by Chronicles of Crime. The marriage of board game and digital app is something I was leery of at first because I much prefer board games, but this simply works. And works quite well. I love being able to travel to a location, check it out, interrogate any persons of interest there, and try to assemble the story in my mind. I want to play all of the scenarios with different groups of people to see if that will change anything, but currently during COVID it’s a no-go.

Chronicles of Crime may never break into my Top 10 Games of All Time, but I will not be moving it out of my collection ever. Well, unless Lucky Duck Games decides to remove the app or something weird like that. I don’t have many board/digital hybrid games in my collection, and if I never add another I will still be happy with this one (ahem, keep your eyes peeled for the Chronicles of Crime: 1400 preview I will be doing soon – or will have done depending on when you read this review). Purple Phoenix Games gives Chronicles of Crime an enthusiastically shifty-eyed 11 / 12. I think you might get bonus VPs at the end of the game for putting on a British accent when you play. I’ll have to scour the rules for that one…
  
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019)
2019 | Adventure, Drama, Horror
I love a good shark movie. Since as far back as I can remember, I have been fascinated by sharks. I think they’re some of the most interesting creatures on our planet. Even when I was a kid, I used to wear shark tooth necklaces because I thought they were so cool. Basically any time you’ve got sharks in a movie, I’m all in for it. Amusingly enough, that same sentiment does not apply to video games where I think they’re terrifying! (Jaws on the original Nintendo freaked-me-out as a child.) Having said all that, I was excited to see 47 Meters Down: Uncaged, even though I missed out on the original film back in 2017. Johannes Roberts, the director of the minimalistic first film, 47 Meters Down, returns for this sequel and brings back the great white sharks, but shakes up for the formula a bit by adding an underwater maze to the mix.

The sequel focuses on teenaged loner Mia (Sophie Nélisse) who has recently relocated to Mexico with her father and step-family. Her father Grant (John Corbett) scouts and maps out underwater locations for a living, and has recently discovered an ancient sunken Mayan city. With the help of his two assistants, he’s currently in the process of mapping out its maze-like design. One day, Mia joins her sister Sasha (Corinne Foxx) whose two friends, Alexa (Brianne Tju) and Nicole (Sistine Stallone), take them to a hidden local cove for a day of fun. This location turns out to be one of the entrances to the historic labyrinth that Mia’s father Grant has been exploring. Alexa, who once dated one of Grant’s assistants, had gone diving with this former boyfriend into the submerged city before. Upon finding enough extra scuba gear for all of them on a floating dock in this isolated cove, Alexa pressures her friends into joining her on a brief underwater tour that ends up being anything but.

This sunken Mayan labyrinth that the four girls go inside to explore is the setting for most of the film. They’re supposed to be following Alexa, who knows part of the maze well enough to navigate it without getting them lost, but their stubborn and defiant friend Nicole decides to venture off-course and winds up endangering them all. In the aftermath of Nicole’s senselessness, a pillar gets knocked over, creating a domino effect of destruction that causes the entrance they came in through to collapse and get sealed off. Now they’ll have to find another way out. With limited oxygen and even less light and visibility, the girls have to swim deeper into the maze to try to look for an exit.

Quickly the girls come to discover they’re not as alone in this labyrinth as they first thought, and they find themselves in the presence of great white sharks. These sharks, blind from living their whole lives in the darkness of this lost city, have their other senses heightened as a result, and they’re on the hunt for blood. The arrival of these sharks, however, opens up a big plot hole in the story. How is it that Mia’s father has never seen these deadly sharks nor made any reference to them when he’s already spent weeks, possibly even months, exploring this sunken city? I suppose it’s possible that in the collapse of the entrance, another passageway may have opened up that let the sharks in. However, that logic doesn’t hold up, because had they came in from outside, they wouldn’t be blind. These particular sharks evolved down here, so it’s hard to believe they were never noticed before, especially considering how violent and aggressive they are.

That’s far from being the only problem with these sharks, though. They also look flat out awful. The quality of their special effects in this film is simply pitiful. I’m not even exaggerating when I say they often reminded me of that infamously bad shark attack scene from Jaws 3D. They look so fake and unbelievable that instead of feeling any sense of fear when they randomly appeared, I couldn’t help but cringe. It literally looks almost as bad as the Sharknado movies, but the key difference is that unlike the intentionally campy Sharknado movies, 47 Meters Down: Uncaged is actually trying to take itself seriously. Plus it has even has double the budget to work with.

47 Meters Down: Uncaged takes a very lazy and bare-bones approach to filmmaking. The story lacks substance, the characters and dialogue lack depth, and the visuals throughout most of the film are muddied and unclear. It’s rough on the eyes because the visuals are so obscured and are shrouded in so much darkness that it’s hard to actually see what’s happening on screen. This is often exploited as a cheap tactic to create jump scares by having the sharks suddenly appear from literally out of nowhere, which seems especially hard to believe since it’s doubtful these large sharks could smoothly navigate most of these narrow passageways in the first place. Despite the restrictive maze design, the film fails to create a sense of claustrophobia, and instead just gave me a headache.
The story progression in the film mostly feels generic and expected. There are new complications that arise and circumstances that change, but it’s all pretty standard fare. The ending, however, sets up a decent scenario, but it ends up being ruined by how unrealistic it is. Besides, after wading through all of the garbage to get there, I couldn’t be bothered to care much at that point. The acting in the film is mostly poor, but truthfully they’re never given much to work with. It’s also difficult to keep track of who is who once they’re inside the maze anyway because the visuals are so muddled. The movie does feature its share of violence and death, but its light on the gore and to me it always felt unsatisfying.
In all, 47 Meters Down: Uncaged sinks right to the bottom of my rating list as the worst movie I’ve seen in 2019. It’s lazy and bland to the point of being exhausting. There’s ultimately not one single thing about it that I can sincerely commend. The only thing I’m probably going to remember this movie for is how dreadful it looks and the 90 minutes of boredom and disappointment it caused me.