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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Mortal Engines (2018) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
At last, the hilarious Brexit comedy we’ve all been waiting for.
As comedy goes it’s classic gold! London has been transferred, presumably via a futuristic big-arsed forklift truck of some kind, onto a huge chassis and is now chugging its way across mainland Europe. Needing fuel, it has the capability to gobble-up other roving towns and cities (take that Barnier!) which London ‘digests’ (smoke that Tusk!). Curiously, the captured cities’ inhabitants are not exterminated but integrated into the City’s population: so much for any anti-immigration policy! (LOL).
But all doesn’t go entirely smoothly for the UK capital. The Lord Mayor of London (Patrick Malahide) declares “We should never have gone into Europe. It’s the biggest mistake we ever made”. (Classic: how we SNORTED with laughter!)
Cities on wheels. London in hot pursuit of a Bavarian mining town. (Some things you just write, and then have to do a double take!). (Source: Universal Pictures International).
Stuffing it squarely to the ‘remainers’, London makes its own future. “It’s time to show the world how strong London can be”. Having conquered most of Europe, it’s time to set its sights on new markets to conquer: so London takes the Chinese on! (Now the tears of laughter are flowing freely!) Trade deals have never been more entertaining since “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace”!
Well, perhaps not
OK, so in the interests of ‘advertising standards’, I’d better make clear before you rush out to the cinema expecting a comedy feature that my tongue is firmly in my cheek here. For “Mortal Engines” is the latest sci-fi feature from Peter Jackson. But when viewed from a Brexit perspective, it’s friggin’ hilarious!
In terms of plot, this (like “Waterworld”) makes clever use of the Universal logo to set the agenda. The world has been decimated with a worldwide war – though clearly one that selectively destroyed bits of London and not others! – and the survivors must try to survive in any way they can. Settlements are divided between those that are ‘static’ and those (like London) that are mobile and constantly evolving: “Municipal Darwinism” as it is hysterically described. But London, or rather the power-crazed Londoner Thaddeus Valentine (Hugo Weaving), wants revolution rather than evolution and he is working on development of one of the super-weapons that started the world’s demise in the first place.
But Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar), separated when young from her mother Pandora (yes, she has a box and we’ve seen it: wink, wink) is intent on stopping him, since she is on a personal path of vengence. Teaming up with Londoner Tom (Robert Sheehan) and activist Anna Fang (Jihae) they must face both Thaddeus and the ever-relentless Shrike (Stephen Lang) to try to derail the destructive plan.
“I’m not subtle”
So says Anna Fang, but then neither is this movie. The film is loud and action-filled and (as a significant plus) visually extremely impressive with it. I’m not a great fan of excessive CGI but here it is essential, and the special-effects team do a great job. The production design is tremendous – a lot of money has been thrown at this – and the costume design inventive, a high-spot (again snortworthy) being the Beefeater guards costumes!
Where the film really crashes, like a post-Brexit stock market, is with the dialogue. The screenplay by Jackson himself, with his regular writers Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens contains some absolute clunkers, notwithstanding the unintended LOL-worthy Brexit irony. It’s jaw-droppingly bad, believe me.
The turns
The only real “name” in the whole film is Jackson-favourite Hugo Weaving. Just about everyone else in the cast is pretty well unknown, and in many cases it shows. Standing head and shoulders though for me over the rest of the cast was Icelandic actress Hera Hilmar, who strikes a splendidly feisty pose as the mentally and physically scarred Hester. I look forward to seeing what she does next.
Plagerism: the movie
Story-wise, there’s not a sci-fi film that’s not been looted, and a number of other films seem to be plundered too. (I can’t comment on how much of this comes from the source book by Philip Reeve). The Londonmobile looks for all the world like Monty Python’s “Crimson Permanent Assurance Company”; the teenage female lead is Sarah Connors, relentlessly pursued by The Terminator; the male lead is archaologist cum hot-shot pilot Indiana Solo, leather jacket and all; there is a Blade Runner moment; a battle that is a meld of “The Great Wall” and Morannon from “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers”; a less sophisticated aerial location from “The Empire Strikes Back”; and another classic Star Wars moment (without the words being actually said!).
A case of the Jackson Pollocks
Now I’m loathe to say anything bad about director Peter Jackson, after his breathtakingly memorable “They Shall Not Grown Old“. And the film has its moments of flair, most memorably a “life flashing before your eyes scene” that I found genuinely moving. But overall, as an actioner, it’s a bit of a mess.
It’s a long way from being the worse film I’ve seen this year by a long stroke – it kept me interested and amused in equal measure for the running time. But I think given it’s initially bombed at the Box Office, any plans Jackson had to deliver a series of these movies might need to be self-funded.
But all doesn’t go entirely smoothly for the UK capital. The Lord Mayor of London (Patrick Malahide) declares “We should never have gone into Europe. It’s the biggest mistake we ever made”. (Classic: how we SNORTED with laughter!)
Cities on wheels. London in hot pursuit of a Bavarian mining town. (Some things you just write, and then have to do a double take!). (Source: Universal Pictures International).
Stuffing it squarely to the ‘remainers’, London makes its own future. “It’s time to show the world how strong London can be”. Having conquered most of Europe, it’s time to set its sights on new markets to conquer: so London takes the Chinese on! (Now the tears of laughter are flowing freely!) Trade deals have never been more entertaining since “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace”!
Well, perhaps not
OK, so in the interests of ‘advertising standards’, I’d better make clear before you rush out to the cinema expecting a comedy feature that my tongue is firmly in my cheek here. For “Mortal Engines” is the latest sci-fi feature from Peter Jackson. But when viewed from a Brexit perspective, it’s friggin’ hilarious!
In terms of plot, this (like “Waterworld”) makes clever use of the Universal logo to set the agenda. The world has been decimated with a worldwide war – though clearly one that selectively destroyed bits of London and not others! – and the survivors must try to survive in any way they can. Settlements are divided between those that are ‘static’ and those (like London) that are mobile and constantly evolving: “Municipal Darwinism” as it is hysterically described. But London, or rather the power-crazed Londoner Thaddeus Valentine (Hugo Weaving), wants revolution rather than evolution and he is working on development of one of the super-weapons that started the world’s demise in the first place.
But Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar), separated when young from her mother Pandora (yes, she has a box and we’ve seen it: wink, wink) is intent on stopping him, since she is on a personal path of vengence. Teaming up with Londoner Tom (Robert Sheehan) and activist Anna Fang (Jihae) they must face both Thaddeus and the ever-relentless Shrike (Stephen Lang) to try to derail the destructive plan.
“I’m not subtle”
So says Anna Fang, but then neither is this movie. The film is loud and action-filled and (as a significant plus) visually extremely impressive with it. I’m not a great fan of excessive CGI but here it is essential, and the special-effects team do a great job. The production design is tremendous – a lot of money has been thrown at this – and the costume design inventive, a high-spot (again snortworthy) being the Beefeater guards costumes!
Where the film really crashes, like a post-Brexit stock market, is with the dialogue. The screenplay by Jackson himself, with his regular writers Fran Walsh and Phillipa Boyens contains some absolute clunkers, notwithstanding the unintended LOL-worthy Brexit irony. It’s jaw-droppingly bad, believe me.
The turns
The only real “name” in the whole film is Jackson-favourite Hugo Weaving. Just about everyone else in the cast is pretty well unknown, and in many cases it shows. Standing head and shoulders though for me over the rest of the cast was Icelandic actress Hera Hilmar, who strikes a splendidly feisty pose as the mentally and physically scarred Hester. I look forward to seeing what she does next.
Plagerism: the movie
Story-wise, there’s not a sci-fi film that’s not been looted, and a number of other films seem to be plundered too. (I can’t comment on how much of this comes from the source book by Philip Reeve). The Londonmobile looks for all the world like Monty Python’s “Crimson Permanent Assurance Company”; the teenage female lead is Sarah Connors, relentlessly pursued by The Terminator; the male lead is archaologist cum hot-shot pilot Indiana Solo, leather jacket and all; there is a Blade Runner moment; a battle that is a meld of “The Great Wall” and Morannon from “The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers”; a less sophisticated aerial location from “The Empire Strikes Back”; and another classic Star Wars moment (without the words being actually said!).
A case of the Jackson Pollocks
Now I’m loathe to say anything bad about director Peter Jackson, after his breathtakingly memorable “They Shall Not Grown Old“. And the film has its moments of flair, most memorably a “life flashing before your eyes scene” that I found genuinely moving. But overall, as an actioner, it’s a bit of a mess.
It’s a long way from being the worse film I’ve seen this year by a long stroke – it kept me interested and amused in equal measure for the running time. But I think given it’s initially bombed at the Box Office, any plans Jackson had to deliver a series of these movies might need to be self-funded.
Books Editor (673 KP) shared own list
Oct 10, 2017
Entertainment Weekly has been highlighting the best LGBTQIA representation in pop culture by putting together a list of young adult novels that showcase the wealth and diversity of the LGBTQ spectrum.
Wild Beauty
6.0
Rate It
Book
Love grows such strange things. Anna-Marie McLemore's debut novel The Weight of Feathers garnered...
Young Adult LGBTQ Fantasy Romance
Spinning
Book
Ignatz Award winner Tillie Walden’s powerful graphic memoir Spinning captures what it’s like to...
LGBTQ Young Adult
They Both Die At The End
9.0
Rate It
Book
n September 5th, a little after midnight, Death-Cast calls Mateo Torrez and Rufus Emeterio to give...
Mask of Shadows
8.5
Rate It
Book
"I love every aspect of this amazing book―a genderfluid hero, a deadly contest, and vicious...
Young Adult LGBTQ Fantasy
Gentleman's Guide To Vice And Virtue
8.9
Rate It
Book
SIMON VS. THE HOMOSAPIENS meets the 1700s in this hilarious and swashbuckling standalone teen...
and 10 other items
Suswatibasu (1701 KP) rated Die Last in Books
Nov 19, 2017
Tony Parsons deals with another tough topic
This is wonderful story telling. London, its smells, noises and people emerge, gloriously, from the page.
The story itself surrounds the murky, brutal world of human trafficking, an enterprise that is ever expanding. Parsons humanises the victims, ranging from trafficked sex slaves to servitude.
They are a bit far fetched however - as is all crime fiction, nevertheless, I've enjoyed all of these as they race along and keep you engaged.
The story itself surrounds the murky, brutal world of human trafficking, an enterprise that is ever expanding. Parsons humanises the victims, ranging from trafficked sex slaves to servitude.
They are a bit far fetched however - as is all crime fiction, nevertheless, I've enjoyed all of these as they race along and keep you engaged.
LissaBeth21 (6 KP) rated Seeking Refuge in Books
Jan 8, 2018
Not very many stories of Jews during World War II have a happy ending. Being evacuated twice, once from Germany to London on the Kindertransport and then again to Wales after war is declared, Marianne's struggles are visceral. Watching a child go through terrifying separation from her family only to be placed in difficult and lonely situations was heart wrenching. Though it is bittersweet, I was overjoyed by the ending to this beautiful book. Marianne certainly deserved it!
Dean (6925 KP) rated MSR: Metropolis Street Racer in Video Games
Apr 25, 2018 (Updated Jul 27, 2021)
Great graphics (1 more)
Accurate city locations
Key racing game
This is the the game that kinda prequeled Project Gotham Racing on the Xbox. With fewer cars, tracks and cities than the first PGR game. It had incredible detailed city tracks based on Tokyo, San Francisco and London. Allowing you to race around Westminster, do doughnuts in Leicester Square. There were time attacks, various challenges and the new Kudos system. For the time this was the most detailed racing game ever!
Dean (6925 KP) rated Revolver (2005) in Movies
Feb 9, 2019
A great crime thriller with a a good cast. For a change for a Guy Ritchie gangster film this isn't about East end gangsters in London and there is no humour in this. It makes a nice change and the story is very good. The plot gets a bit twisted and can be hard to follow at times. However it's one of the better gangster films I've seen in a long while. Slick and stylish with some great twists.
Sonofdel (6265 KP) rated 1920 London (2016) in Movies
Feb 23, 2019
A clever supernatural horror
Contains spoilers, click to show
I enjoyed this horror as it has good special effects and a clever story. The possession of the husband and his subsequent deterioration are quite graphic at times and the overall feel of the film is just dark enough. The musical parts are a minor hiccup but they do piece the story together nicely. From India to London this is a horror film that is definitely worth a watch.
Dean (6925 KP) rated The Sweeney (2012) in Movies
Feb 10, 2018
An ok English crime action film based on the old TV series. It looked very good from the trailer, but unfortunately that is quite misleading in the terms of the film as a whole. There are some good chase scenes and action set pieces, although not quite up to Heat (Which one scene is very similar to) but it does have the iconic London landmarks in there. Overall not bad but a bit more action would have been great.
Ross (3282 KP) rated London Calling by The Clash in Music
Jul 8, 2020
Rolling Stone's 8th greatest album of all time
Superb album. It is a bit of a shame that it is labelled as punk as that would put a lot of people off and make them miss out on such a wonderful masterpiece. This isn't "spit and middle finger" punk, it's political, thought-provoking and intelligent punk. For every London Calling, there is a Jimmy Jazz, for every Spanish Bombs there is a Train in Vain. Simply an awesome album.
