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ClareR (5603 KP) rated Thirsty Animals in Books
Jun 25, 2023
I’m really going to have to start rationing my exposure to dystopian fiction. Although to be fair, after reading Thirsty Animals I did try to cut down the time spent in the shower (although I’m pretty sure that’s cancelled out by the marathon-length showers taken by the 19 year old). This is one of those books that is so plausible that you will be thinking about your own impact on the environment. It’s not ‘preachy’ though. It’s just the rather disturbing story of Aida’s life after she is forced to return to her home on a livestock farm (cows and sheep) when water starts to become really scarce - even in Scotland.
Until the point at which Aida goes home, Scotland is one of the last places with running water. But that is about to change.
This isn’t quite Mad Max, although when the water is switched off and people aren’t allowed to move about within Scotland, it does become pretty lawless - as Aida and her family soon find out.
Thirsty Animals is highly likely to be amongst my favourite books this year. Nothing seemed far-fetched, and the relationships were entirely believable. These were people in extremis, and no matter their behaviour, who knows how we would behave in a similar situation in order to keep ourselves and our families alive?
This is certainly a book that has kept me thinking about it for a while after having finished it.
I’m so intrigued where Rachelle Atalla will go next - I’ll certainly be reading it!
Until the point at which Aida goes home, Scotland is one of the last places with running water. But that is about to change.
This isn’t quite Mad Max, although when the water is switched off and people aren’t allowed to move about within Scotland, it does become pretty lawless - as Aida and her family soon find out.
Thirsty Animals is highly likely to be amongst my favourite books this year. Nothing seemed far-fetched, and the relationships were entirely believable. These were people in extremis, and no matter their behaviour, who knows how we would behave in a similar situation in order to keep ourselves and our families alive?
This is certainly a book that has kept me thinking about it for a while after having finished it.
I’m so intrigued where Rachelle Atalla will go next - I’ll certainly be reading it!
Gareth von Kallenbach (971 KP) rated The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015) in Movies
Aug 6, 2019
I have to admit, I knew nothing about The Man from U.N.C.L.E going into the movie, other than it was based on a TV show from the 60’s. It had flown under my radar for most of the year, overshadowed by highly-anticipated titles with colons, i.e., Avengers: Age of Ultron, Mad Max: Fury Road, Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation. When the screener was scheduled I was actually tempted to assign it to another reviewer. Then I watched the trailer and saw Henry Cavill (Superman) was one of the stars. At the risk of sounding shallow, that changed my mind.
As we waited for the movie to start, the Man from U.N.C.L.E soundtrack played through the theater’s sound system, transporting me to a Mad Men mindset, which helped as the movie backdrop is set in the early 1960’s period of the Cold War. We’re introduced first to Napoleon Solo, a CIA agent Cavill plays with amusing James Bond suave with an old-time movie accent. (Officially, I believe it’s called a Transatlantic accent.) He’s paired with Armie Hammer’s Illya Kuryakin, a KGB agent on a joint mission to stop a mysterious international criminal organization. To accomplish that, they need the cooperation of Gaby Teller (Alicia Vikander), the abandoned daughter of a German scientist, who is their key to infiltrating the criminal organization.
As you can guess, all the spy movie cliches can be found in Man from U.N.C.L.E. from the debonair womanizing agent, menacing foreigners, the femme fatale, the elaborate schemes that are executed smoothly, explanatory monologues, convenient gadgets, et al – just a vintage low tech, high glam version of spy movies you may have seen of late.
I’m actually glad I went in without any expectations. Guy Ritchie turned a pretty simple, straightforward plot into an intricate,, slightly off-kilter caper, with touches of his trademark storytelling from various perspectives. I enjoyed the subtle vying for supremacy the uneasy truce between Solo and Illya created, and while he’s not as dashing as Cavill, Hammer had great chemistry with Vikander.
This year has been quite the year for spy movies. U.N.C.L.E. is not the action thriller that Mission Impossible is, it’s also far from the campy shocker that Kingsmen was, nor is it as outrageously funny as Spy, but as spy movies go, U.N.C.L.E fits smoothly and oddly comfortably in that fold.
As we waited for the movie to start, the Man from U.N.C.L.E soundtrack played through the theater’s sound system, transporting me to a Mad Men mindset, which helped as the movie backdrop is set in the early 1960’s period of the Cold War. We’re introduced first to Napoleon Solo, a CIA agent Cavill plays with amusing James Bond suave with an old-time movie accent. (Officially, I believe it’s called a Transatlantic accent.) He’s paired with Armie Hammer’s Illya Kuryakin, a KGB agent on a joint mission to stop a mysterious international criminal organization. To accomplish that, they need the cooperation of Gaby Teller (Alicia Vikander), the abandoned daughter of a German scientist, who is their key to infiltrating the criminal organization.
As you can guess, all the spy movie cliches can be found in Man from U.N.C.L.E. from the debonair womanizing agent, menacing foreigners, the femme fatale, the elaborate schemes that are executed smoothly, explanatory monologues, convenient gadgets, et al – just a vintage low tech, high glam version of spy movies you may have seen of late.
I’m actually glad I went in without any expectations. Guy Ritchie turned a pretty simple, straightforward plot into an intricate,, slightly off-kilter caper, with touches of his trademark storytelling from various perspectives. I enjoyed the subtle vying for supremacy the uneasy truce between Solo and Illya created, and while he’s not as dashing as Cavill, Hammer had great chemistry with Vikander.
This year has been quite the year for spy movies. U.N.C.L.E. is not the action thriller that Mission Impossible is, it’s also far from the campy shocker that Kingsmen was, nor is it as outrageously funny as Spy, but as spy movies go, U.N.C.L.E fits smoothly and oddly comfortably in that fold.
Holly Johnson recommended Blade Runner Soundtrack by Vangelis in Music (curated)
Steven Sklansky (231 KP) rated The Bad Batch (2016) in Movies
Apr 15, 2018
Being in the wasteland is just as boring as this movie
I thought with a cast like Keanu, Jim Carey, and Jason Momoa this might have been a decent movie. I was so wrong. The movie started out so gruesome that I thought we were going to get a mad max type of movie. I slowly went down hill from there.
This movie is about a girl that joins the bad batch, a group of people that are sentenced to Texas. Ouch, talk about the perfect prison. This new wasteland, as far as I can tell is divided into 2 groups. Cannibals and Stoners. With the only plot being get a little girl back to here father there was not much else going on.
It seems like the whole movie was just setting up these 2 worlds that really didn't make much sense. Although The Comfort was definitely a better place to live, they really didn't say how they pick the people that can stay there. They are boarded up by shipping containers which leads me to believe they want to keep bad people out, but then again they are all "bad". So maybe the really bad. They just seemed to not care who came and went.
I think the only good thing in the movie was Jim Carrey. Funny enough he didn't even have a spoken line, I didn't even recognize him.
Eating people and getting high could not save this move. Like I always say, I don't want to hold anyone back from seeing a movie because of me. If you like it let me know why. And as always enjoy the show.
This movie is about a girl that joins the bad batch, a group of people that are sentenced to Texas. Ouch, talk about the perfect prison. This new wasteland, as far as I can tell is divided into 2 groups. Cannibals and Stoners. With the only plot being get a little girl back to here father there was not much else going on.
It seems like the whole movie was just setting up these 2 worlds that really didn't make much sense. Although The Comfort was definitely a better place to live, they really didn't say how they pick the people that can stay there. They are boarded up by shipping containers which leads me to believe they want to keep bad people out, but then again they are all "bad". So maybe the really bad. They just seemed to not care who came and went.
I think the only good thing in the movie was Jim Carrey. Funny enough he didn't even have a spoken line, I didn't even recognize him.
Eating people and getting high could not save this move. Like I always say, I don't want to hold anyone back from seeing a movie because of me. If you like it let me know why. And as always enjoy the show.
Jeremy King (346 KP) rated Mad Shelia (2016) in Movies
Jul 2, 2019
You have to watch 1000 bad films to understand what make a film great
Where to start. I love watching films that are out of left field. So when I heard about this i had to look for it, i found it on youtube in 2 parts, it was to be to 60min tv movies but it works better as 1 1h film.
What is China known for? Yes that is it knock offs. Mad Max: Fury Road was nominated for Best Picture so lets rip it off. So i have seen that in the past but this was so low budget. We are talking looking for change in tbe couch low budget.
Some of the vehicles look like they used cardboard on them as props.
CG effects that were not needed that you can point out and would look better if left out.
In seens with motorcycles they were going so slow that the front tired would wobble to try to stay balanced.
The best acting came from the goofy sidekick.
Shelia was trying to look like a male in the beginning, you would half to be deaf and blind not to figure out she was a female.
They are in a wasteland and everyone is clean.
Acting skills or the lack of.
And many more problems.
If you ever think about watching this movie
DONT DO IT!! I WATCHED IT FOR YOU
You will get more enjoyment out of the trailer. If i had seen this in the theater i would have walked out. My friend and i could say after watching this was. WTF and we will never talk about this again. But after tradhing it i can say it had 1 or 2 good songs on the sound track
What is China known for? Yes that is it knock offs. Mad Max: Fury Road was nominated for Best Picture so lets rip it off. So i have seen that in the past but this was so low budget. We are talking looking for change in tbe couch low budget.
Some of the vehicles look like they used cardboard on them as props.
CG effects that were not needed that you can point out and would look better if left out.
In seens with motorcycles they were going so slow that the front tired would wobble to try to stay balanced.
The best acting came from the goofy sidekick.
Shelia was trying to look like a male in the beginning, you would half to be deaf and blind not to figure out she was a female.
They are in a wasteland and everyone is clean.
Acting skills or the lack of.
And many more problems.
If you ever think about watching this movie
DONT DO IT!! I WATCHED IT FOR YOU
You will get more enjoyment out of the trailer. If i had seen this in the theater i would have walked out. My friend and i could say after watching this was. WTF and we will never talk about this again. But after tradhing it i can say it had 1 or 2 good songs on the sound track
Russell Evans (179 KP) rated Gaslands Refuelled in Tabletop Games
Feb 23, 2020
Super cheap miniatures game (3 more)
Easy to get into
Fun rules
Unlimited modelling options
No official pre-made pre-painted miniatures (1 more)
Print off your own templates or buy from 3rd parties
A brilliantly written and illustrated book for a tabletop game of post-apocalyptic racing – fast cars with big guns – Mad Max in miniature.
It’s tons of fun and easy to play the basics straight away. After that, there is more depth to the rules to explore and building teams to keep things interesting and have long term playability. To get started, you can use templates copied and printed from the book and normal dice, or like I have done, you can get plenty of third-party companies selling templates, scenery and ‘skid’ dice.
One of the main reasons I picked this game up, apart from the raving reviews I’d seen online, was the DIY modelling aspect of the game. As a long time mini-gamer of things like Warhammer and Star Wars FFG, I’m used to my miniatures burning a big hole in my pocket. Re-modelling and repainting HotWheels cars (Super cheap – a couple of quid vs about £30 for a Star Wars ship) is the best part of this game for me, you can use standard cars if you want to, but there are no official pre-made pre-painted ‘cars’ which may be a negative, if you’re not into modelling.
Fun is the main priority and my favourite rule is that if a rule is unclear, you choose whichever option results in the most carnage for all concerned … This is ‘The Rule of Carnage’.
Highly recommended – if you want a different mini game that’s fun and won’t break the bank, check this out!
It’s tons of fun and easy to play the basics straight away. After that, there is more depth to the rules to explore and building teams to keep things interesting and have long term playability. To get started, you can use templates copied and printed from the book and normal dice, or like I have done, you can get plenty of third-party companies selling templates, scenery and ‘skid’ dice.
One of the main reasons I picked this game up, apart from the raving reviews I’d seen online, was the DIY modelling aspect of the game. As a long time mini-gamer of things like Warhammer and Star Wars FFG, I’m used to my miniatures burning a big hole in my pocket. Re-modelling and repainting HotWheels cars (Super cheap – a couple of quid vs about £30 for a Star Wars ship) is the best part of this game for me, you can use standard cars if you want to, but there are no official pre-made pre-painted ‘cars’ which may be a negative, if you’re not into modelling.
Fun is the main priority and my favourite rule is that if a rule is unclear, you choose whichever option results in the most carnage for all concerned … This is ‘The Rule of Carnage’.
Highly recommended – if you want a different mini game that’s fun and won’t break the bank, check this out!
Sawyer (231 KP) rated Pokemon Colosseum in Video Games
Jun 1, 2019
A wild offbeat detour in the Pokemon world
Pokemon Colosseum is one of those rare occasions where a establish franchise decides to really experiment and the end result well not quite Frankenstein it's definitely not the Mona Lisa either
The game centers around West a strong silent rebellious youth it was formerly a member of the games antagonist organization which is a big departure from the main characters you usually play in the Pokemon games
The first missed opportunity is that this never speaks which makes it really hard to connect with the character
One of the key features of the game is the ability to steal certain Pokemon from trainers this is a unique way to acquire Pokemon also very against the usual moral compass of the characters you play in the Pokemon series the game
doesn't have wild encounters which means you only have certain Pokemon you can get and that's it I believe there's like 40 something all together which is a insanely low amount when considering how many Pokemon the franchise had at this point
The game also was mostly comprised of 2 on 2 Pokemon battles something you really never see have such a focus it is a fresh idea and it does make for some interesting enemy encounters the animations are quite slow also the fact that you want to fight are inherently slower than normal it's quite easy to fall asleep at the controller
Don't get me wrong though I do really enjoy this game such a breath of fresh air for this franchise
So many interesting ideas I even loved the world I know it's part of the same world as the rest of the games but this region just feels so vastly different it has a very barren wasteland mad Max type of style to it
If you are a big Pokemon fan you should try this game for sure
The game centers around West a strong silent rebellious youth it was formerly a member of the games antagonist organization which is a big departure from the main characters you usually play in the Pokemon games
The first missed opportunity is that this never speaks which makes it really hard to connect with the character
One of the key features of the game is the ability to steal certain Pokemon from trainers this is a unique way to acquire Pokemon also very against the usual moral compass of the characters you play in the Pokemon series the game
doesn't have wild encounters which means you only have certain Pokemon you can get and that's it I believe there's like 40 something all together which is a insanely low amount when considering how many Pokemon the franchise had at this point
The game also was mostly comprised of 2 on 2 Pokemon battles something you really never see have such a focus it is a fresh idea and it does make for some interesting enemy encounters the animations are quite slow also the fact that you want to fight are inherently slower than normal it's quite easy to fall asleep at the controller
Don't get me wrong though I do really enjoy this game such a breath of fresh air for this franchise
So many interesting ideas I even loved the world I know it's part of the same world as the rest of the games but this region just feels so vastly different it has a very barren wasteland mad Max type of style to it
If you are a big Pokemon fan you should try this game for sure
ClareR (5603 KP) rated Last One at the Party in Books
Mar 14, 2021
I started reading this after dinner one evening, so reasonably late in the day, and then carried on reading until I went to bed. I really should have left an hour of non-reading time before attempting to sleep, because every time I closed my eyes I could see corpses and people dying horrible deaths. Which is strange, because books with this kind of content don’t usually bother me. I think it was the humour that made it seem more normal, more believable. And I can’t deny that reading it whilst we’re actually living through a pandemic might have added that extra bit of “Oh my god - could this actually happen??!!”
I liked that there weren’t zombies or something reminiscent of Mad Max - I think I’ve seen loads of those kinds of books before, and whilst I’ve been known to enjoy them as well, it was nice to have something a bit different. This is a breath of fresh air. Or at least as fresh as it can be with the imagined stink of millions of decaying Britons on the streets and in their homes (I’m not even exaggerating) 🤢
I liked that the main character didn’t have the answer to everything - or in fact, to anything - but she muddles along, making mistakes and learning from them.
This book isn’t wildly exciting, in that the zombie hordes are absent, and no one is being strapped to the front of a 4X4, and I loved that about it. The main character is a ‘normal’ woman, trying her best to stay alive at the end of the world. She’s a great character, she seems so approachable, and even though she probably wouldn’t agree, someone I’d be happy to spend time with. Even though I’d probably be a rotting corpse. Nice.
I’d really recommend this book, it’s definitely not your run-of-the-mill apocalypse story!!
I liked that there weren’t zombies or something reminiscent of Mad Max - I think I’ve seen loads of those kinds of books before, and whilst I’ve been known to enjoy them as well, it was nice to have something a bit different. This is a breath of fresh air. Or at least as fresh as it can be with the imagined stink of millions of decaying Britons on the streets and in their homes (I’m not even exaggerating) 🤢
I liked that the main character didn’t have the answer to everything - or in fact, to anything - but she muddles along, making mistakes and learning from them.
This book isn’t wildly exciting, in that the zombie hordes are absent, and no one is being strapped to the front of a 4X4, and I loved that about it. The main character is a ‘normal’ woman, trying her best to stay alive at the end of the world. She’s a great character, she seems so approachable, and even though she probably wouldn’t agree, someone I’d be happy to spend time with. Even though I’d probably be a rotting corpse. Nice.
I’d really recommend this book, it’s definitely not your run-of-the-mill apocalypse story!!
Sensitivemuse (246 KP) rated New Girl in Books
May 3, 2018
Like a reality show you can't turn away from
Contains spoilers, click to show
This is one of the few times where I enjoyed the book however the characters were so unlikable I was amazed that I stuck through and finished the novel. It was well written enough that I was super curious as to what happened to Becca and whether she was really around or if she had a horrible outcome. The mystery element was well done to keep you guessing. The point of views changes between Becca and Callie’s. There’s a good easy flow between the two perspectives so it makes the reading easy to follow and quick.
That being said, the characters were just awful in a sense not that they were unreadable (almost) but they were just horrible awful people. Even our main character wasn’t that likable. However I digress. Let’s break them down:
Becca; Oh darling. You horrible awful attention seeking harpy. Not only do you have issues of your own but because you aren’t happy you feel the need to destroy others and to make sure you drag them down into the mud and follow you through your misery. I had no sympathies. Even when it was revealed what happened. Except for ...well you know.
Max: Another horrible creature and he’s pretty much meant for Becca anyway as they’re both rather terrible people. The “I like you but I don’t want to be together” spiel is ugh. On top of that after you say that you go and do the pursuing. You’re the emotional manipulative type just like Becca and it’s hard to figure out which one is worse. You emotionally play with the main character and give her the yo-yo treatment then get mad when she’s talking with your best friend..oh wait sorry let’s re-write that: “Best Friend”. Dude, you’re like a horrible Tinder date gone wrong.
Dana: You’re a psychotic twit and holy mother mary do you have issues. I get what happened and you stood there and was an observer but you lashing out and being Queen Horrible to Callie (main character) was inexcusable. This behavior can’t even be blamed on grief, you’re just pure malice. Your obsession with Becca is creepy it makes you look like the type of fangirl nobody ever wants.
Madison and Julia: You have no spines and you follow Becca like she’s a Goddess. Stop being sheep and your condescension towards Callie was uncalled for. You each deserve a swift kick for treating her like that.
Johnny: You broke the Bro-Code. You should be banned for life.
Callie: Where do I start with you? You started off as a great main character and a lot of sympathies to you because you started off on the wrong foot and in a precarious situation. However then you did this yo-yo game with Max saying “Yeah I like you but I never said I was going to be with you” sure, that was a savage burn on your part but you keep *whining* about how you like Max so much and he’s not returning the favor because of Becca but he keeps coming back to you like you’re the side piece and you don’t seem to mind that treatment. You try to stick up for yourself with Dana (which was admirable) but then you shrink back into your turtle shell and you just *walk* into these situations even though YOU KNOW it’s going to turn out with potentially bad consequences. You’re like the friend that complains about how horrible your significant other is treating you but you’re still with that person but you don’t listen to advice. You have got to be one of the most frustrating characters I have ever read so far.
Well now! That sums up my opinions of the characters. I say go for reading this one. It’s almost like you’re watching reality TV and it’s such a guilty pleasure but you can’t help but not look away. Maybe because the characters were just so hateful you had to keep on reading. You just wanted to know what was going to happen next.
That being said, the characters were just awful in a sense not that they were unreadable (almost) but they were just horrible awful people. Even our main character wasn’t that likable. However I digress. Let’s break them down:
Becca; Oh darling. You horrible awful attention seeking harpy. Not only do you have issues of your own but because you aren’t happy you feel the need to destroy others and to make sure you drag them down into the mud and follow you through your misery. I had no sympathies. Even when it was revealed what happened. Except for ...well you know.
Max: Another horrible creature and he’s pretty much meant for Becca anyway as they’re both rather terrible people. The “I like you but I don’t want to be together” spiel is ugh. On top of that after you say that you go and do the pursuing. You’re the emotional manipulative type just like Becca and it’s hard to figure out which one is worse. You emotionally play with the main character and give her the yo-yo treatment then get mad when she’s talking with your best friend..oh wait sorry let’s re-write that: “Best Friend”. Dude, you’re like a horrible Tinder date gone wrong.
Dana: You’re a psychotic twit and holy mother mary do you have issues. I get what happened and you stood there and was an observer but you lashing out and being Queen Horrible to Callie (main character) was inexcusable. This behavior can’t even be blamed on grief, you’re just pure malice. Your obsession with Becca is creepy it makes you look like the type of fangirl nobody ever wants.
Madison and Julia: You have no spines and you follow Becca like she’s a Goddess. Stop being sheep and your condescension towards Callie was uncalled for. You each deserve a swift kick for treating her like that.
Johnny: You broke the Bro-Code. You should be banned for life.
Callie: Where do I start with you? You started off as a great main character and a lot of sympathies to you because you started off on the wrong foot and in a precarious situation. However then you did this yo-yo game with Max saying “Yeah I like you but I never said I was going to be with you” sure, that was a savage burn on your part but you keep *whining* about how you like Max so much and he’s not returning the favor because of Becca but he keeps coming back to you like you’re the side piece and you don’t seem to mind that treatment. You try to stick up for yourself with Dana (which was admirable) but then you shrink back into your turtle shell and you just *walk* into these situations even though YOU KNOW it’s going to turn out with potentially bad consequences. You’re like the friend that complains about how horrible your significant other is treating you but you’re still with that person but you don’t listen to advice. You have got to be one of the most frustrating characters I have ever read so far.
Well now! That sums up my opinions of the characters. I say go for reading this one. It’s almost like you’re watching reality TV and it’s such a guilty pleasure but you can’t help but not look away. Maybe because the characters were just so hateful you had to keep on reading. You just wanted to know what was going to happen next.
Movie Metropolis (309 KP) rated The Dark Tower (2017) in Movies
Jun 10, 2019
10 years in the making
A film adaptation of Stephen King’s wildly successful Dark Tower novels has been rumoured for over a decade. In 2007, J.J. Abrams was attached to direct the film but dropped out in December 2009.
Then, in 2010, veteran director Ron Howard was to head the project, but that fell through in 2015. Finally, by June 2015 the film entered full-steam ahead production with Danish filmmaker Nikolaj Arcel at the helm.
So, 10 years on from the first murmurings of a Dark Tower film were discovered, what is the finished product like? And does it capture the wonder of that eight-novel behemoth by King?Roland Deschain (Idris Elba), the last Gunslinger, is locked in an eternal battle with Walter O’Dim (Matthew McConaughey), also known as the Man in Black. The Gunslinger must prevent the Man in Black from toppling the Dark Tower, the key that holds the universe together. With the fate of worlds at stake, two men collide in the ultimate battle between good and evil.
Unfortunately, this troubled production has resulted in a film that’s biggest sin is its averageness. There’s not a single thing about The Dark Tower that stands out as unique, even with charismatic stars like Matthew McCounaughey and Idris Elba at the helm.
The two of them perform well with the overtly expositional dialogue and Elba just reeks of charisma, despite the dross he unfortunately has to spout from time to time. Newcomer Tom Taylor is fine, but it pains me to say it, just a little bit bland.
The plot is nigh on impossible to understand for those who haven’t read King’s books with a story that never fully explains what the titular tower even does. How on earth can a film enter production without a script that fully describes such a vital plot point? It’d be like Mad Max: Fury Road never actually featuring Max, just referencing him occasionally.
Elsewhere, Tom Holkenborg’s score is bland, the special effects just about as average as you can get and the cinematography uninspiring. This is such a shame, because moments of excellence shine through.
The action is choreographed to a good standard and the sequences in which Elba and Taylor visit Earth are an enjoyable fish-out-of-water style distraction from an otherwise disappointing script. Think Thor on Earth but in NYC rather than New Mexico.
Ultimately though, films like this get me a little angry and I feel frustrated just writing this review. With eight books in which to take nuggets of story from, the film just kind of plods along for 95 minutes. I’m not normally one for suggesting a movie be longer, but The Dark Tower really did need an extra 30 minutes at least to flesh out the characters and plot.
Overall, despite two commanding performances from its lead stars, The Dark Tower is a royal mess. In a year that has featured numerous disappointing sequels, Sony could’ve kicked things up a gear with something completely new. In the end, we’re left with a film as bland and average as you can possibly get. What a shame.
Let’s just hope that It is the King adaptation we’ve been waiting for.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2017/08/19/the-dark-tower-review-10-years-in-the-making/
Then, in 2010, veteran director Ron Howard was to head the project, but that fell through in 2015. Finally, by June 2015 the film entered full-steam ahead production with Danish filmmaker Nikolaj Arcel at the helm.
So, 10 years on from the first murmurings of a Dark Tower film were discovered, what is the finished product like? And does it capture the wonder of that eight-novel behemoth by King?Roland Deschain (Idris Elba), the last Gunslinger, is locked in an eternal battle with Walter O’Dim (Matthew McConaughey), also known as the Man in Black. The Gunslinger must prevent the Man in Black from toppling the Dark Tower, the key that holds the universe together. With the fate of worlds at stake, two men collide in the ultimate battle between good and evil.
Unfortunately, this troubled production has resulted in a film that’s biggest sin is its averageness. There’s not a single thing about The Dark Tower that stands out as unique, even with charismatic stars like Matthew McCounaughey and Idris Elba at the helm.
The two of them perform well with the overtly expositional dialogue and Elba just reeks of charisma, despite the dross he unfortunately has to spout from time to time. Newcomer Tom Taylor is fine, but it pains me to say it, just a little bit bland.
The plot is nigh on impossible to understand for those who haven’t read King’s books with a story that never fully explains what the titular tower even does. How on earth can a film enter production without a script that fully describes such a vital plot point? It’d be like Mad Max: Fury Road never actually featuring Max, just referencing him occasionally.
Elsewhere, Tom Holkenborg’s score is bland, the special effects just about as average as you can get and the cinematography uninspiring. This is such a shame, because moments of excellence shine through.
The action is choreographed to a good standard and the sequences in which Elba and Taylor visit Earth are an enjoyable fish-out-of-water style distraction from an otherwise disappointing script. Think Thor on Earth but in NYC rather than New Mexico.
Ultimately though, films like this get me a little angry and I feel frustrated just writing this review. With eight books in which to take nuggets of story from, the film just kind of plods along for 95 minutes. I’m not normally one for suggesting a movie be longer, but The Dark Tower really did need an extra 30 minutes at least to flesh out the characters and plot.
Overall, despite two commanding performances from its lead stars, The Dark Tower is a royal mess. In a year that has featured numerous disappointing sequels, Sony could’ve kicked things up a gear with something completely new. In the end, we’re left with a film as bland and average as you can possibly get. What a shame.
Let’s just hope that It is the King adaptation we’ve been waiting for.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2017/08/19/the-dark-tower-review-10-years-in-the-making/