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Kristy H (1252 KP) rated The Marriage Pact in Books
Jan 21, 2018
Bizarre & unbelievable premise/moments (1 more)
Not compelling
Newlyweds Alice and Jake don't think much of it when a client from Alice's law firm invites himself to their wedding and then gives them a mysterious wedding gift. But they soon discover the gift is offering them membership in a exclusive group called The Pact, whose main goal is to keep couples married. The Pact comes with a series of strict rules detailed in the group's Manual. Jake, a psychologist, is interested in the institution of marriage and excited to find an organization that he thinks will keep his beloved wife, Alice, a former rock singer turned lawyer, interested and focused on their union. Things change quickly for the couple, though, when The Pact thinks that Alice is breaking the rules. Suddenly, Alice and Jake find themselves stuck in The Pact, whose members seem to go to any lengths to enforce their rules--and to keep their members within the group.
The set up to the book is certainly interesting: joining an exclusive group focused on marriage. It's a secretive society of sorts with a series of rules focused on a single goal: keeping your marriage intact. And if you don't follow those rules: there are consequences, often extreme ones.
I can't deny that this book is very creepy at times. It also causes you to question the sanity of this couple. Why on earth would they sign these documents and join the Pact? Jake, okay, perhaps: he supposedly is desperate to keep Alice. But Alice, for pete's sake, is a lawyer: she has to know that signing anything, even if you think it's a joke (and this is not presented as a joke) could have serious consequences. Instead, she blindly signs because she wants to go to a party?! Perhaps they deserved what they get! (And maybe I'm a little bitter.) The book often reminded me of The Girl Before: another novel where you have to completely suspend disbelief that people would even entertain living life by a series of ridiculous rules to somewhat enjoy the book.
That's not to say I didn't sometimes feel sorry for Alice, or even Jake. I was drawn a bit more to Alice and often wished I could have heard her perspective on things sometimes, instead of just her husband's. Rather, things just seemed so drawn out: so much of Jake ruminating about Alice, their marriage, marriage in general, life, etc. It was a little much for me.
Still, as I mentioned the book definitely has its creepy moments. Even with those, it took me forever to read it. I never felt compelled to pick it up (so much talking and thinking from Jake) and probably finished at least two other books over the 10-day (!) span it took me to read this. I was more intrigued and interested in the last fourth or so of the book and then pretty much let down by the end, so there you have it. There's one good twist in there, and I'm going with a three-star rating, but I'm definitely not in the camp raving about this one. However, lots of people loved this book, so you may enjoy it a lot more than me.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher and Netgalley (thank you!) in return for an unbiased review.
The set up to the book is certainly interesting: joining an exclusive group focused on marriage. It's a secretive society of sorts with a series of rules focused on a single goal: keeping your marriage intact. And if you don't follow those rules: there are consequences, often extreme ones.
I can't deny that this book is very creepy at times. It also causes you to question the sanity of this couple. Why on earth would they sign these documents and join the Pact? Jake, okay, perhaps: he supposedly is desperate to keep Alice. But Alice, for pete's sake, is a lawyer: she has to know that signing anything, even if you think it's a joke (and this is not presented as a joke) could have serious consequences. Instead, she blindly signs because she wants to go to a party?! Perhaps they deserved what they get! (And maybe I'm a little bitter.) The book often reminded me of The Girl Before: another novel where you have to completely suspend disbelief that people would even entertain living life by a series of ridiculous rules to somewhat enjoy the book.
That's not to say I didn't sometimes feel sorry for Alice, or even Jake. I was drawn a bit more to Alice and often wished I could have heard her perspective on things sometimes, instead of just her husband's. Rather, things just seemed so drawn out: so much of Jake ruminating about Alice, their marriage, marriage in general, life, etc. It was a little much for me.
Still, as I mentioned the book definitely has its creepy moments. Even with those, it took me forever to read it. I never felt compelled to pick it up (so much talking and thinking from Jake) and probably finished at least two other books over the 10-day (!) span it took me to read this. I was more intrigued and interested in the last fourth or so of the book and then pretty much let down by the end, so there you have it. There's one good twist in there, and I'm going with a three-star rating, but I'm definitely not in the camp raving about this one. However, lots of people loved this book, so you may enjoy it a lot more than me.
I received a copy of this book from the publisher and Netgalley (thank you!) in return for an unbiased review.
Jamie (131 KP) rated Men Explain Things to Me: And Other Essays in Books
Jul 26, 2017
Poorly written (2 more)
Not intersectional
Lack of sources in the physical version
Mediocre essays, I wish I could've liked this more
Disappointment and shallow is probably the most apt descriptions I can think of when describing this book which is really sad because I usually enjoy feminist essays.
The titular essay, Men Explain Things to Me, discusses the author’s experiences with men explaining things with the assumption that she couldn’t possibly know due to her gender. While I was nodding my head that yes, I have experienced this as well, there was not much else. There was little to no research into the history of why this might be or any additional insight into the topic which was really a let down, I didn’t feel like I got much out of it. I should have known that the rest of the essays in this collection would be the same but I was optimistic.
One of the better essays was In Praise of the Threat: What Marriage Equality Really Means which discussed how the fight for marriage equality, or same-sex marriage, has been redefining the traditional gendered views of marriage and I thought that this was really great. However in a later essay Solnit goes on to claim that gay marriage would never have been possible if it weren’t for feminists redefining marriage as a union between equals, which is a statement I found both bold and mildly insulting.
I also need to address a specific statement that became the basis the essay, The Longest War, which was the following:
“Violence doesn’t have a race, a class, a religion,
or a nationality, but it does have a gender.”
It is very apparent that Solnit doesn’t know a thing about intersectionality because any minority can tell you that the statement above is laughably false. Is it true, statistically, that more reported violent crimes are perpetrated by men? Yes. Do people in many societies have an issue with toxic masculinity? Yes. Does this mean, then, that violence has a gender, that it is purely a male problem? No. To say that it doesn’t have a specific race, class, religion, or nationality despite evidence to the contrary throughout history is naïve.
Solnit continues on to rant about how men are the almost exclusive source of violence and assault and how everyone should acknowledge this so we can go about finding solutions. She doesn’t go into much more depth than that or offer up much in the way of solutions herself. A large portion of the essay is just her fluffing up the piece with a literal list of vague examples which might not mean much to folks less knowledgeable about violent crimes. There are also quite a few statistics thrown in with absolutely no sources to back up the claims.
Not that I doubt the information provided, but in times where people cherry pick the news to fit their own narrative books like this become questionable. After flipping through the back of the book I eventually found a note in the acknowledgements section that Solnit chose to edit out her sources for the book version, but that they could be found on the online versions of her essays. It’s careless and lazy for an author that wants to be taken seriously.
Solnit also postulates at several points that because she has published several books that she is an authority and I found that sort of attitude to be self defeating. She talks about another author that she argued with about Virginia Woolfe and claims that she had “won” which just makes the author sound childish, and I wondered what the point of the essay was to begin with. It felt out of place for the rest of the collection and any connections she attempted to make were shaky at best.
I think that Solnit had some good ideas but the execution was extremely poor. Because she spends so much time listing examples and being over dramatic in her descriptions the actual point of discussion in her essays becomes muddled and unclear. There are far better essays out there that address the exact same topics. Men Explain Things to Me just wasn’t worth the time.
The titular essay, Men Explain Things to Me, discusses the author’s experiences with men explaining things with the assumption that she couldn’t possibly know due to her gender. While I was nodding my head that yes, I have experienced this as well, there was not much else. There was little to no research into the history of why this might be or any additional insight into the topic which was really a let down, I didn’t feel like I got much out of it. I should have known that the rest of the essays in this collection would be the same but I was optimistic.
One of the better essays was In Praise of the Threat: What Marriage Equality Really Means which discussed how the fight for marriage equality, or same-sex marriage, has been redefining the traditional gendered views of marriage and I thought that this was really great. However in a later essay Solnit goes on to claim that gay marriage would never have been possible if it weren’t for feminists redefining marriage as a union between equals, which is a statement I found both bold and mildly insulting.
I also need to address a specific statement that became the basis the essay, The Longest War, which was the following:
“Violence doesn’t have a race, a class, a religion,
or a nationality, but it does have a gender.”
It is very apparent that Solnit doesn’t know a thing about intersectionality because any minority can tell you that the statement above is laughably false. Is it true, statistically, that more reported violent crimes are perpetrated by men? Yes. Do people in many societies have an issue with toxic masculinity? Yes. Does this mean, then, that violence has a gender, that it is purely a male problem? No. To say that it doesn’t have a specific race, class, religion, or nationality despite evidence to the contrary throughout history is naïve.
Solnit continues on to rant about how men are the almost exclusive source of violence and assault and how everyone should acknowledge this so we can go about finding solutions. She doesn’t go into much more depth than that or offer up much in the way of solutions herself. A large portion of the essay is just her fluffing up the piece with a literal list of vague examples which might not mean much to folks less knowledgeable about violent crimes. There are also quite a few statistics thrown in with absolutely no sources to back up the claims.
Not that I doubt the information provided, but in times where people cherry pick the news to fit their own narrative books like this become questionable. After flipping through the back of the book I eventually found a note in the acknowledgements section that Solnit chose to edit out her sources for the book version, but that they could be found on the online versions of her essays. It’s careless and lazy for an author that wants to be taken seriously.
Solnit also postulates at several points that because she has published several books that she is an authority and I found that sort of attitude to be self defeating. She talks about another author that she argued with about Virginia Woolfe and claims that she had “won” which just makes the author sound childish, and I wondered what the point of the essay was to begin with. It felt out of place for the rest of the collection and any connections she attempted to make were shaky at best.
I think that Solnit had some good ideas but the execution was extremely poor. Because she spends so much time listing examples and being over dramatic in her descriptions the actual point of discussion in her essays becomes muddled and unclear. There are far better essays out there that address the exact same topics. Men Explain Things to Me just wasn’t worth the time.
Goddess in the Stacks (553 KP) rated The Merry Spinster: Tales of Everyday Horror in Books
May 17, 2018 (Updated May 18, 2018)
So this JUST came out. I'd had my eye on it for a few months, and put a request in as soon as my library ordered it. The author recently came out as trans, so it's also part of my effort to read more inclusively. Ortberg definitely played with gender and sexuality in several of these tales; in one of them people decided whether to be the husband or the wife, independent of their gender, in their marriage. (One party to the marriage in the story stated "I've been trained for both roles.") In another all of a man's daughters used male pronouns and that was never explored further. That was slightly odd.
These were dark, twisted versions of these stories. "Our Friend Mr. Toad," for example, involved gaslighting and psychologically torturing poor Mr. Toad. I found that one particularly disturbing. I enjoyed the title story, Ortberg's version of Beauty and the Beast, which has a very different ending from expected. I also really liked "The Daughter Cells", inspired by The Little Mermaid. I LOVED "Fear Not: An Incident Log."
I think this was a great, albeit strange, little book. It's unique, for sure, and a quick read. If you're looking for a fairy tale collection that is VERY different, try this one.
You can find all my reviews at http://goddessinthestacks.wordpress.com
These were dark, twisted versions of these stories. "Our Friend Mr. Toad," for example, involved gaslighting and psychologically torturing poor Mr. Toad. I found that one particularly disturbing. I enjoyed the title story, Ortberg's version of Beauty and the Beast, which has a very different ending from expected. I also really liked "The Daughter Cells", inspired by The Little Mermaid. I LOVED "Fear Not: An Incident Log."
I think this was a great, albeit strange, little book. It's unique, for sure, and a quick read. If you're looking for a fairy tale collection that is VERY different, try this one.
You can find all my reviews at http://goddessinthestacks.wordpress.com
Kristy H (1252 KP) rated Language Arts in Books
Feb 13, 2018
Charles Marlow is an English teacher at a private high school. His life, therefore, is filled with language and words. However, all the language in the world cannot help him communicate with his son, Cody, who is autistic. Cody's diagnosis took a toll on his marriage and now Charles finds himself alone in the house -- all his kids are out of the house, his marriage has ended -- and he's wrestling with his demons.
I absolutely loved Kallos' "Broken For You," so I was extremely excited to pick up her latest novel. It definitely took some time for this one to grow on me. The book got off to a slow start and Charles is not the most likable of characters. Still, once I got into the plot, it's a lovely tale and extremely moving. Kallos does an amazing job of tying together her ancillary characters into a beautiful way--not one that's trite, per se, but a manner that seems fitting for each.
Overall, the book is a touching tribute to language, in many forms, and to art, as well. It's also a very insightful look at autism and the toll it can take on a family, but also some of the gifts that those termed as "disabled" by the general public can give to us. Definitely worth reading - just be patient.
I absolutely loved Kallos' "Broken For You," so I was extremely excited to pick up her latest novel. It definitely took some time for this one to grow on me. The book got off to a slow start and Charles is not the most likable of characters. Still, once I got into the plot, it's a lovely tale and extremely moving. Kallos does an amazing job of tying together her ancillary characters into a beautiful way--not one that's trite, per se, but a manner that seems fitting for each.
Overall, the book is a touching tribute to language, in many forms, and to art, as well. It's also a very insightful look at autism and the toll it can take on a family, but also some of the gifts that those termed as "disabled" by the general public can give to us. Definitely worth reading - just be patient.
Goddess in the Stacks (553 KP) rated Bingo Love Volume 1: Jackpot Edition in Books
Jul 1, 2019
Bingo Love tells the story of Hazel and Mari, two girls who met at a bingo game in the 60s, fell in love, and were forced apart by their families. I don't tend to review graphic novels on this blog; but for this one, and for Pride Month, I'll make an exception.
I SOBBED at the end of this beautiful little book. Mari and Hazel love each other SO. MUCH. And what they go through is heartbreaking. When they meet in the 60s, loving the same gender is not very accepted, so when they're caught kissing, they're separated and forced to marry men. Hazel's marriage, at least, is an amiable one. The book doesn't get into details on Mari's marriage, only that she divorced him.
The book is also very intersectional! Both black women, one bisexual, both girls at the beginning and grandmothers at the end, with large families. Hazel is gorgeously curvy with naturally kinky hair, Mari willowy and tall.
I think the problem with reviewing graphic novels is that they're so short it's hard to say much without giving away plot! But if you're looking for a very easy read for Pride, this graphic novel is definitely a good place to start. Bring tissues.You can find all my reviews and more at http://goddessinthestacks.com
I SOBBED at the end of this beautiful little book. Mari and Hazel love each other SO. MUCH. And what they go through is heartbreaking. When they meet in the 60s, loving the same gender is not very accepted, so when they're caught kissing, they're separated and forced to marry men. Hazel's marriage, at least, is an amiable one. The book doesn't get into details on Mari's marriage, only that she divorced him.
The book is also very intersectional! Both black women, one bisexual, both girls at the beginning and grandmothers at the end, with large families. Hazel is gorgeously curvy with naturally kinky hair, Mari willowy and tall.
I think the problem with reviewing graphic novels is that they're so short it's hard to say much without giving away plot! But if you're looking for a very easy read for Pride, this graphic novel is definitely a good place to start. Bring tissues.You can find all my reviews and more at http://goddessinthestacks.com
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