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Proving Grounds
Proving Grounds
2019 | Dice Game, Fantasy, Fighting, Real-time
Maia Strongheart sees the eight opponents surrounding her and knows exactly how to handle each one. She makes a dash for #4, a simpleton Warrior in Training, and whoosh – misses. “Huh, that’s never happened to me before,” she thinks. Performing a daring backflip whilst targeting the Clan Elder in the #6 position with a well-placed finishing blow and whoosh – her armor seems to part like the Red Sea as the Clan Elder finds its weakness and delivers a wound to our heroine. “WHO IS PLAYING ME?” Maia wonders. It’s me. Travis. The worst player of Proving Grounds. Poor Maia.


Proving Grounds is a solo fighting dice game with real-time phases. Players will win by defeating eight opponents in battle and will lose (often, in my case) if the heroine suffers too many wounds. The game is played over several rounds, and Renegade has provided an app to act as a timer during the rolling dice phase. Obviously I am terrible at the game, but how does it play and do I feel like continuing to suffer subsequent losses?
To setup a basic game, place the Encounter Board in the middle of the table. Shuffle the enemy cards (with swords & board backs) and deal one per slot around the Encounter Board. These are the first set of enemies Maia will be fighting. Place Battle Markers (silver ninja stars that track wounds inflicted to enemies) in the outlined spaces of the enemy cards. Place Maia’s health token (a heart) on the tracker and one each of the green, yellow, and blue dice on the health area in the space with a rainbow surround. Fill the exhaustion track with one white die per space (on the right side of the Encounter Board), and take the rest of the dice into hand to use as the dice pool. For this review I also used the Dragonling Die module.

As mentioned, Proving Grounds is played solo over a series of rounds. Each round consists of three phases: Roll Dice, Resolve Attacks, and Recover. The first phase of the game, Roll Dice, is also the most chaotic. During this phase the app timer (or your phone or sand timer or sun dial) will allow 60 seconds to roll the dice and arrive at a final result. The interesting aspect of this mechanic at play here is that only sets of dice may be rerolled, not singles. So players may only roll that set of four 3s and not the solitary 1 sitting there all alone. This causes some brain freeze because many games utilize this in reverse, where only singles may be rerolled. Factor that into a 60 second frenzy to get the greatest results and brains will smoke.

Once the timer is up or players are satisfied with the rolled results, they move to the next phase: Resolve Attacks. Each number rolled on the dice correspond to the enemy’s position around the Encounter Board. So that solitary 1 that was rolled earlier is assigned to the enemy in position #1. Here’s the kick in the rear though: any single dice assigned to an enemy will result in a wound dealt to Maia, and would require the player to sacrifice one of the dice to the exhaustion track! Should an enemy require three or more dice but only two are assigned, or if zero dice are assigned, nothing happens to Maia nor the enemy. But those dang single dice will come back to haunt the player. A lot, if they play like I do. Some enemies will require at least one of the dice to be the blue/green/yellow die in order to be successful while others are just straight number of dice. Calculating everything that is needed during the Roll Dice phase is something that I have yet to master.


After attacks are resolved, players enter the Recover phase. During this phase players will gather all assigned dice from the round as well as any dice on the lowest spot of the exhaustion track to be used for the next round. Any enemies that were defeated have left an empty slot on the Encounter Board, so a new enemy will now fill that void. Play continues in this fashion of three phases per round until either eight enemies have been defeated or Maia suffers too many wounds to continue.
Components. I am fascinated by how few components are needed to put a game like this together. Yes, the Encounter Board is mostly unnecessary, but a great way to organize the game and keep everything spacially relevant for those of us that need that. The cards are fine quality and the game has great art. The dice are very cool, but I am unsure how the colors pop for our colorblind gamer friends. While the game doesn’t necessarily refer to the damage markers as “ninja stars” I cannot get over the fact that they are ninja stars. They are certainly out of place in a game like this where I encountered zero ninjas in my plays. Everything else, though, is great and it comes in a nice-sized box: a little smaller than my Century: Golem Edition box.

It was Kane Klenko’s birthday recently, so I wished him a happy birthday on social media and informed him that I was celebrating by playing Proving Grounds. His response was absolutely perfect: “Good luck!” Well, Kane, I never have good luck with this one! It is certainly a combination of poor dice rolling, poor decision making whilst rolling dice, and just dumb luck (emphasis on dumb). I love playing this game but it is infuriating that I have yet to beat it! Even with just the first Dragonling Die module! Gahhhhhh!!!

However, Proving Grounds is an excellent dice game that breaks out of the Yahtzee clone mold and into something fresh and exciting. The twist of only being able to reroll sets instead of singles makes for interesting decisions when you really need to defeat enemy #5 but just cannot roll ANY 5s to save your life (in the game). I just want to beat it once with the Dragonling Die so I can start adding in other modules (oh yes, there are several other modules to add). When games force me to WANT to play them more and more, even for the sheer hope of victory, I consider that a mark of distinction and a sign of a great game.

So if you are like me and enjoy the pain of defeat over and over again then I invite you to try Proving Grounds. It will not be easy. But if you happen to beat it, especially on your first try, please let me know. I need all the cheat codes I can get here. It will stay in my collection probably forever because I just need to overcome it, and then once I figure it out completely, I will just need to wallop it over and over to teach it a lesson. Enjoy Proving Grounds everyone!
  
First Man (2018)
First Man (2018)
2018 | Biography, Drama, History
He captured a feeling. Sky with no ceiling.
A memorable event
I am a child of the 60’s, born in 1961. The “Space Race” for me was not some historical concept but a pervasive backdrop to my childhood. I still recall, at the age of 8, being marched into my junior school’s assembly hall. We all peered at the grainy black-and-white pictures of Neil Armstrong as he spoke his famously fluffed line before stepping onto the lunar surface. The event happened at 3:54am UK time, so clearly my recollection of “seeing it live” is bogus. (I read that the BBC stayed on air until 10:30 in the morning, so it was probably a ‘final review’ of the night’s events I saw). It is probably lodged in my memory less for the historical event and more due to the fact that there was TELEVISION ON IN THE MORNING! (Kids, ask your grandparents!)


A very personal connection. My personal copy of Waddington’s “Blast Off” board game, briefly shown in the film.
The plot
But back to Damien Chazelle‘s film. We start early in the 60’s with America getting well and truly kicked up the proberbial by the Russians in the space race: they fail to get the first man in space; they fail to carry out the first spacewalk. So the Americans, following the famous JFK speech, set their sights on the moon. It’s the equivalent of making a mess of cutting your toenails but then deciding to have a go at brain surgery. NASA develop the Gemini programme to practice the essential docking manoevers required as a precursor for the seemingly impossible (‘two blackboard’) mission that is Apollo.

But the price paid for such ambition is high.

Ryan Gosling plays Neil Armstrong as a dedicated, prickly, professional; altogether not a terribly likeable individual. Claire Foy plays his long-suffering wife Janet, putting her support for her husband’s dangerous profession ahead of her natural fears of becoming a single mother.

Review
There is obviously little tension to be mined from a film that has such a well-known historical context. Those with even a subliminal knowledge of the subject will be aware of the key triumphs and tragedies along the way. The script (by Josh Singer, “The Post“; “Spotlight“) is very well done in developing a creeping dread of knowing what is shortly to come.

Even with these inherent spoilers, Chazelle still manages to evoke armrest-squeezing tension into the space flight sequences. A lot of this is achieved through disorientating camera movements and flashing images that may irritate some but I found to be highly effective. (Did anyone else flash back to that excellent “Mission Space” ride at Epcot during the launch sequences?) This hand-held cinematography by Linus Sandgren (Chazelle’s “La La Land” collaborator) is matched by some utterly drop-dead gorgeous shots – beautifully framed; beautifully lit – that would be worthy of a Kaminski/Spielberg collaboration.

Those expecting a rollercoaster thrill-ride of the likes of “Apollo 13” will be disappointed. The film has more of the slow-and-long-burn feeling of “The Right Stuff” in mood and, at 141 minutes, some might even find it quite boring. There is significant time, for example, spent within the family home. These scenes include turbulent events of which I wasn’t previously aware: events that form the cornerstone of the film’s drama. For me, the balance of the personal and the historical background was perfectly done. I found it curious though that with such a family-oriented drama Chazelle chose to ditch completely any cuts away to the earthbound onlookers during the tense lunar landing sequence. (Compare and contrast with Ron Howard‘s masterly inter-cutting in the re-entry scene of “Apollo 13”). With the outcome foretold, perhaps such tension building was considered unnecessary? I’m not suggesting it was wrong to ‘stay in the moment’ with the astronauts, but it’s a bold directorial move.

Overall, the foolhardiness of NASA trying to do what they did with the 60’s technology at their disposal is well-portrayed. If you’ve been lucky enough, as I have, to view the Apollo 11 capsule in the National Air and Space museum in Washington you can’t help but be impressed by the bravery of Armstong, Aldrin and Collins in getting in that bucket of bolts and putting their lives on the line. True American heroes.

On that topic, the “flag issue” has generated much self-righteous heat within the US media; that is regarding Chazelle not showing the American flag being planted. This seems fatuous to me. Not only is the flag shown on the moon, but the film ably demonstrates the American know-how and bravery behind the mission. If Clint Eastwood had been directing he would have probably gone there: but for me it certainly didn’t need any further patriotism rubbed in the viewer’s face.

The turns
Are Oscar nominations on the cards for Ryan Gosling and Claire Foy? For me, it would be staggering if they are not: this film has “Oscar nomination” written all over it. I’d also certainly not bet against Foy winning for Best Actress: her portrayal of a wife on the edge is nothing short of brilliant. And perhaps, just perhaps, this might be Gosling’s year too.

Elsewhere there are strong supporting performances from Kyle Chandler (as Deke Slayton), Corey Stoll (as the ‘tell it how it is’ Buzz Aldrin) and Jason Clarke (as Ed White). It’s also great to see Belfast-born Ciarán Hinds in another mainstream Hollywood release.

For me, another dead cert Oscar nomination will be Justin Hurwitz for the score which is breathtakingly brilliant, not just in its compelling themes but also in its orchestration: the use of the eerie theremin and melodic harp are just brilliant together. I haven’t heard a score this year that’s more fitting to the visuals: although it’s early in the Oscar season to be calling it, I’d be very surprised if this didn’t walk away with the statuette.

Summary
Loved this. Damien Chazelle – with “Whiplash“, “La La Land” and now “First Man” – has hit all of three out of the park in my book. It’s not really a film for thrill-seekers, who might get bored, but anyone, like me, with an interest in the history of space exploration will I think lap it up: for this was surely the most memorable decade in space history… so far.

On leaving the cinema I looked up at the rising moon and marvelled once more at the audacity of man. My eyes then drifted across to the red dot that was Mars. How long I wonder? And how many dramatic film biographies still to come?
  
Voltage
Voltage
2006 | Card Game
One thing that I truly love about the board gaming hobby is the ability to discover new games at nearly every turn. Just when I think I’ve seen it all, I come across a post on BGG or a social media game group that blows my mind. Either with unique gameplay, or sweet components, I’m always in awe at how many games are new to me every day. Enter Voltage. I came across this game at The Table when I visited Travis in Tennessee this summer. This game has apparently been around since 2006, but I never came across it until 2021. The box was unassuming on the shelf, but the gameplay seemed interesting. Added bonus: it’s a 2-player game that doesn’t take forever to play, which was perfect for a quick game night out. So I guess I am very late to the Voltage party, but as you can tell from my rating above, I think it’s a pretty stellar game. Keep reading to find out why!

Voltage is a competitive game for 2 players in which players are trying to be the first to earn 4 total points. To setup for the game, place the board between the two players. Take the double-sized Terminal blocks and place them on their corresponding spaces of the board. The starting orientation for the Terminal blocks should read + – – + horizontally across the board. Shuffle the deck of cards and deal 4 to each player. Each player selects a Score Marker and places it on the first space of their score track. Choose a starting player, and the game is ready to begin! Pictured below is the starting setup for a game.

Over a series of turns, players will be playing cards to their corresponding colored Terminals in an attempt to win the set. If the Terminal is set to a + then the player with the highest value will win the set. Alternately, if the Terminal is set to a – then the player with the lowest value will win the set. Cards are played to Terminals until a Terminal has a set of 5 total cards. The Terminal is then scored, the cards used are discarded, and the winning player earns a point. The game continues in this fashion until one player has earned 4 total points.

On your turn, you must perform one of these three actions: Play a card & draw a card, Play 2 cards, or Draw 2 cards. Simple enough, but the strategy is what makes this game. When playing cards to the different Terminals, there are a few placement rules to keep in mind. Of course, you may only play cards to the Terminal of the matching color. You are allowed to play cards on your side of the Terminal, or on your opponent’s side. Now to get to the actions themselves. If you choose to play a card and draw a card, you must do so in that order. If you choose to play 2 cards, you must play both cards on different colors – you cannot play both to the same Terminal. The last action, draw 2 cards, is self-explanatory.


The cards of the game are numbered from 1-3, and are of the 4 Terminal colors. There are 3 types of special cards: Bypass, Blown Fuse, and Transformer. A Bypass card allows you to move a card from your opponent’s side to your side of the Terminal, and a Blown Fuse allows you to remove a card from your opponent’s side completely from play. Both of these types of cards count toward the 5-card maximum of the Terminals, so use them wisely. A Transformer is identified by the card back – if the V logo is colored Yellow. When you draw a Transformer, you must then flip one of the Terminal blocks to its opposite side. Since the draw deck is always visible, you can see when a Transformer card is next, so that could help inform your strategy for your turn. The game continues in this fashion of alternating player turns until one player has earned 4 total points. They are declared the winner!
I have to say that the gameplay of Voltage really surprised me. I went into my first play expecting a light little game, and what I got was so much more. There really is a pretty decent strategic element to this game that caught me a little off guard at first. The gameplay itself seems simple – draw cards, play cards, win sets to earn points. But how you accomplish that is more challenging that it seems. The ability to play cards to your side or your opponent’s allows you to try to tip the scales in your favor. You can’t simply focus on your side alone, you need to keep tabs across the entire board to inform your next move. And then if your opponent draws a Transformer, they could just as easily reverse the polarity of that Terminal and now you’re on the wrong end! When playing 2 cards, they must be played to different colored Terminals, so how can you place your cards so they are most beneficial to you? Do you risk placing the big numbers right away in hopes of winning a + Terminal, or do you play lower-numbered cards in case that Terminal gets flipped? All things to consider throughout the game. Along with the strategy, one thing that I love about Voltage is that there really is no runaway winner each time – the direction of a set can literally change with one card, and neither player can really feel secure during the game. You have to anticipate your opponent’s moves while trying to complete sets that are currently favorable to you. That all being said, I guess there is a bit of a ‘take that’ element in the gameplay that might seem a little aggressive to some players, but that’s kind of just the nature of this head-to-head gameplay.


To touch on components, this game is pretty basic. The cards are nice quality, and the artwork is electrical and thematic. The board itself is nice and thick, and the spaces are all clearly marked. The Terminal blocks are probably my favorite components of this game. They are nice chunky plastic blocks, and the colors are bright neon colors – some of my favorites! For a game with such few components, the quality of them is appreciated.

After playing Voltage with Travis at The Table, I actually came home and found a copy for myself – that’s how much I liked it! I don’t think it’s my all-time favorite 2-player game yet, but it’s certainly working its way up the list…. If you’re in the market for a fast, yet strategic, 2-player game, I would highly recommend giving Voltage a try. The simplicity of the gameplay coupled with the vast strategic options makes for an engaging and entertaining game. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one an electrifying 9 / 12.
  
Sir Apropos of Nothing
Sir Apropos of Nothing
Peter David | 2001 | Science Fiction/Fantasy
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Shelf Life – Sir Apropos of Nothing Skewers the Hero’s Journey
Contains spoilers, click to show
Fantasy and satire are two of my favorite genres in any medium, but especially so in books. Satirical fantasy, then, holds a special place on my shelves. I grew up on Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, and desire to imitate him and his style is what led me in middle school to begin writing in earnest, for fun, and for myself rather than just for my teachers and their assignments.

So when I picked up Sir Apropos of Nothing, I did so based on the title pun and the back-of-the-book synopsis that promised “a berserk phoenix, murderous unicorns, mutated harpies, homicidal warrior kings, and – most problematic of all – a princess who may or may not be a psychotic arsonist.” I expected another lighthearted riff on the familiar archetypes. Murderous unicorns? Unicorns are not typically described as such! Oh teehee, how unexpectedly humorous!

Sir Apropos of Nothing is a satirical fantasy, just like it promised, though at times it’s hard to tell how much of the story is played for laughs and how much is played straight. See, the thing about satire that’s easy to forget at times is that it’s not synonymous with buffoonery. Make no mistake – Apropos is a funny book, full of witty dialogue and groan-inducing puns. It’s a book that takes great delight in lampshading traditional fantasy tropes and archetypes, as well as the entirety of Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey idea. But it is not always a silly lampshade; sometimes a cliche or trope is pointed out to have its inherit ridiculousness laughed at, and sometimes it is pointed out because it is causing real and lasting pain or damage, either to the society in which it is set or, more often, to the titular Apropos himself and his ever-degrading esteem of both the people around him and himself.

The tone, at first, is hard to pin down. The story starts in media res with the main character being caught by a knight while in mid-coitus with that knight’s wife and escalates from there. The second chapter opens with a fourth wall-breaking narrative admission by Apropos himself that this was done with the express purpose of catching your attention, and now we’re going back to cover Apropos’s childhood, which ends up being equal parts dark, tragic, punny, and conveniently trope-filled – all of which Apropos, as narrator, approaches with the same resigned, blasé outlook.

If this sounds a bit jarring, well, it kind of is. Early on, I wasn’t sure what to think of where the story was trying to go or what I was expected to feel about it. After the first turn from cliché to dark and visceral to light and punny, all within a few pages, I caught myself thinking, “Crap, is this book gonna try and mix goofy jokes with serious drama and thoughtful moral quandary?”

The answer is yes. And it pulls it off fantastically.

This is due in large part to the interesting depths of the antihero, Apropos, who seems to be so named purely for the joke in the title. In Apropos we see a deep sense of justice and rightness that is entirely eclipsed by an even deeper cynicism and an unshakeable instinct for self-preservation. His life is objectively terrible, but rather than brood and lament, he adjusts. He keeps his head down when he can, weathers abuse when he can’t, and learns to deal with the constant shit storm, all the while bottling his growing anger and resentment at a world that would allow such amounts of suffering and hypocrisy to go unchecked. The fact that he himself becomes a selfish, hypocritical, and generally awful person is not lost on him, and the result is a flawed, unheroic, pathetic coward of a protagonist, a magnificently multifaceted bastard who doesn’t spare even himself from his vast and withering contempt.

And it’s a blast. It really is. Apropos is refreshingly pragmatic and unabashedly pessimistic, a welcome change from the typical righteous-yet-humble heroes of traditional fantasy, or even the loveable and untalented everyman in over his head of traditional fantasy spoofs. Despite a portentous birthmark (on his ass, no less) and beginnings that are not “humble” so much as “poverty of the dirtiest kind,” Apropos is everything a hero should not be short of outright evil.

And this, as it turns out, is entirely the point. This is where the satire, funny or otherwise, really shines through. This is the crux that elevates Sir Apropos of Nothing from a generically self-aware fantasy story to an original and memorable subversion of storytelling as a whole.

Without giving too much away, there comes a point in the plot where Apropos realizes that the events surrounding his miserable life are part of a heroic tale that has been preordained by Fate and is now being epically written out by Destiny. And despite his birthmark, his tragic past, and his mother’s constant reassurances that he has some sort of great destiny hovering over him, he is not the hero. He is only a minor character. A walk-on role on the hero’s stage. A brief pit-stop along the hero’s journey. An NPC whose dreams, desires, and continued existence are so far below importance to the story as to be utterly negligible.

And once this finally clicks with him, he violently, brazenly rebels against it. He gives an emphatic middle finger to Fate’s ideas and sets about making Destiny sit up and take notice of him again. He momentarily and violently overcomes his own abject cowardice just long enough to find a way to completely wreck the traditional heroic ballad in which he lives, all on the basis that, dammit, the world owes him more than this, and nobody should be so miserably cursed as to live their entire life as a foil character.

At this point in my own reading, I didn’t know whether to cheer him on or worry about the repercussions of his actions, because he doesn’t suddenly become heroic when this happens. He’s exactly as much of a selfish, lying bastard as before, and however bad you feel for him, you can completely understand why he was never cast for this role in the first place. Add to this the complete disregard of the author for following what seems to be the obvious progression of events in favor of twists that take you completely by surprise, but still make complete sense and arise organically from the story itself, and you eventually give up thinking that you have any sense of where the story’s going or how any event is going to play out. From beginning to end, it feeds you familiar ideas and then completely subverts them, introduces clichés and then proceeds to tear them apart, and you laugh and pity and feel something the entire way through.

In short, Sir Apropos of Nothing is a book that will keep you turning page after page – not necessarily because of the gripping drama (although it has that) or because of any breezy humor (although it has that too), or because the narration itself oozes suspense (although it often does), but because, with the rapid infusion of new and creative ideas and the hidden depths of character constantly bubbling to the surface in everyone involved, you honestly never know what’s going to happen next. If you like fantasy and can stand to have your expectations messed with, Apropos is certainly apropos.
  
Labyrinthos
Labyrinthos
2020 | Adventure, Maze, Mythology
Greek mythology has always fascinated me. The adventures are awesome, the heroes are mighty, and the creatures are awe-inspiring. I often wonder what it would have been like to live in those ancient times, hearing those stories firsthand, and experiencing the excitement associated with such feats. Well, I may not have a time machine. But I do have a board game table. And on it is Labyrinthos.

Disclaimer: I do not intend to rehash the entire rulebook in this review, but rather provide an overview of the rules and game flow. -L

Labyrinthos is a game of action and adventure in which players are exploring the famed Labyrinth of Daedalus, searching for the 4 secret keys that will let them escape! All this while avoiding traps, their competitors, and the deadly Minotaur who seemingly lurks around every corner. To setup for a game, create the Labyrinth as described in the rules – in the end it will be a 7×7 tile grid. Each player receives a Player Board, Standee, 4 Desperation cards, 7 Action tokens (3 Hand tokens and 4 Feet tokens for the first turn). The remaining Desperation cards and tokens are placed to the side of the play area, along with the Key tokens. Select a starting player, and the game is ready to begin!

Over a series of rounds, players will take turns performing various actions, exploring the Labyrinth, searching for Keys, and avoiding the Minotaur. On your turn, you will be spending Action tokens to perform various actions, like: Move (to an adjacent tile), Explore (flip over an adjacent face-down tile and move to it), Discover Key (gain the corresponding Key token to your Player board), Desperate Action (play a Desperation card), and a handful of other actions. Each action has a token cost associated with it, and you must pay it in order to perform the action. Each different Player Board also has a unique Special Ability that is active during the game. Once you have taken as many actions as you can/want to take, you will return any unused Action tokens to the supply, and then choose a combination of 7 new Action tokens to be used on your next turn. Then, you will refresh your hand – drawing or discarding Desperation cards so your hand limit is 4 minus the number of Key tokens you possess.


The final step of your turn is to roll the Minotaur die and resolve his movement/actions. The movement of the Minotaur is similar to the movement rules of players, and some results on the Minotaur die activate special abilities. If the Minotaur ever enters a tile occupied by a player, he immediately Attacks! The controlling player rolls the Blood die, and the attacked hero gains that number of Wounds to their Player Board. A Wound on your Player Board will cover one of your turn actions, prohibiting you from performing that action until you spend Action tokens to Heal. Certain tiles of the Maze have special symbols that will immediately affect the gameplay. For example, any time a player moves onto a Trap tile, they immediately take a Wound. When a player is on a Hide tile, they cannot be Attacked by the Minotaur. Play continues in this fashion, alternating turns, until a player has collected all 4 Key tokens and made their way back to the starting Door tile. That player has successfully escaped, and all others remain trapped in the Labyrinth!
I know that may seem like a lot, but the gameplay itself is actually pretty streamlined and intuitive. The action descriptions on the Player Boards are clear and concise, acting as a player reference sheet in a way. I appreciate the Player Boards SO much because it keeps me from having to continually refer to the rulebook for any action questions. The action options themselves are simple to understand and perform, but the strategy required for overall success is trickier to master. This truly is an exploration game – the 7×7 grid is created anew every game, and chances are you will never play with the same grid layout twice. The Key tiles could be anywhere, and you have to try to get to them before your opponents. The different tile symbols offer some risk/reward decisions. Do you risk turning over an undiscovered tile in hopes that it gets you across this gap? It could be a Trap! Or it could be a Secret Passage that allows you to move elsewhere. You’ll never know if you don’t try it!

I also really like the mechanic of the Minotaur in this game. At the end of your turn, you roll the Minotaur die and resolve it. That means the Minotaur is essentially controlled by all players. It becomes a sort of tug-of-war, if you will, as players try to get the Minotaur to attack opponents, while hopefully also staying out of his range for the next player’s turn. Another neat thing about Labyrinthos is that when you collect a Key token, it actually provides you with an action and is added to your Player Board, covering an existing action. Through the use of actions and Desperation cards, you could be able to move Keys around on your Player Board too. Maybe its initial placement doesn’t fit the situation anymore, and you need that covered power back! The opportunities to strategize with your actions are endless, and that keeps the gameplay engaging. One last cool thing I want to mention is the selection of new Action tokens at the end of each turn. Certain actions require Hand, Feet, or both types of tokens, and having the ability to choose the combination of those for yourself feels pretty powerful. It could also quickly backfire, if suddenly you find yourself needing Feet tokens, but you only have Hands left! It’s another layer to the strategy, and it helps up the excitement of play.


Components. The components of this game are great. The maze tiles are nice and sturdy, the symbolism clean and clear. The Desperation cards have some cool flavor text, and their actions are straightforward. All of the Standees, tokens, and dice are good quality that will hold up to lots of handling. All in all, great production quality!
I am extremely happy that I decided to back Labyrinthos on Kickstarter. For being a seemingly simple game of maze exploration and movement, there is definitely a lot more to it than meets the eye. Players have to manage resources and plan ahead for what they need in subsequent turns. Desperation cards can affect the gameplay, and can sometimes even be used during an opponent’s turn. The ability of Key tokens to cover existing abilities really makes players think about what their strategy is moving forward. All of these aspects put into one game make for a fun and immersive experience. Purple Phoenix Games gives it an a-maze-ing 10 / 12. Also, special shout-out to the all-female team behind this great game!! It is really cool to see how women are moving up in the gaming industry, and becoming prominent players across game design, art, production, and media content realms within this hobby. Kudos to you ladies! I am very much looking forward to supporting your games in the future!
  
Game Of Thrones
Game Of Thrones
2011 | Adventure, Drama, Fantasy
Look on the bright side, we all said, without really believing it, when lockdown hit in March – time to watch those box sets we’ve been putting off. Well that was, of course, a great idea! For me that box set was possibly the biggest of all: the behemoth that is GOT.

Much like when a new band gets big quickly and you refuse to listen to the hype, I avoided watching the biggest show in the world, even when it was on in the same room as I tried to read a book in the other corner. It wasn’t that I thought I wouldn’t like it, but more that I didn’t believe it could be anywhere near as good as folk were making it out to be, especially as season one looked like only a slight step up on the swords and sandles exploitation-fests that had been going around. I labelled it “Tits and Dragons” and got on with my life for the next 8 years.

March 2020 will go down in history as the biggest spike in streaming TV services the globe will ever see. Literally millions of previously casual watchers, who had been busy having lives and jobs, turned to Netflix, Amazon Prime, Now TV and iPlayer etc, in search of endless hours of easy entertainment they could immerse their bored and twitchy minds inside of. Without internet at home, I had to go a bit more old school and rely on my daughter posting me the DVDs of GOT season by season.

I found season one enjoyable, with caveats, as it seemed to be one massive exposition (and sexposition) workshop. Obviously the main characters were being set up for big storylines down the road. In which sense it reminded me of a soap opera; in how it flitted between characters and relationships, never dwelling on one plot point for more than two minutes. I liked the way the production had set itself up though – the sets and costumes were of a much higher level than was usual for this kind of thing. Then there was those great opening credits, which become impossible not to hum along to as you get more into it.

Sadly, the first big shock moment didn’t shock me, as I’d heard so much about it on social media 9 years ago. But it was still very well done. Bold and brave; to take out a big name that early was a master stroke. By the end of S1E9 I was properly hooked. Although it helped I didn’t have anything else to do!

The next two weeks I had to wait for season two to be posted out, so I embarked on watching all the DVD commentaries too to kill some time in the evenings whilst I waited. This is almost certainly something I wouldn’t have done under normal circumstances and I believe it is what cemented my enjoyment of it as a whole. Listening to the cast and crew reminisce about what a great time they had, and how close they all were, really helped put it into context for me. I was already loving Peter Dinklage and Lena Headey, but their humour and irreverence in the commentaries made it feel like there were pals in the room watching it with me.

By season two and beyond, I was looking at maps, memorizing every minor character’s name, house and motto, and just immersing in it to the point of obsession. As, I guess, millions of people had already done over the years, but now I got what the fuss was all about. It is an addictive show; you have to know what happens next, you simply can’t leave it alone! Whether it is hissing and booing at Joffrey, or loving to hate Cersei, or siding with the bastards and broken things, there is always something engaging going on – and when a character you disliked dies horribly it is so satisfying!

It is a weird mix, however, of moments so horribly signposted, with some dubious acting, and moments of real surprise and emotion delivered with great acting. Many of the characters really grow into their skins as the actors get more familiar and comfortable being them. The writers too get better at putting the right words in their mouths, and learn to minimise the exposition moments. The young ones in particular really grow impressively as it goes on into seasons 3 and 4. Maisie Williams as the slightly sadistic loner Arya Stark especially. I loved how none stereotypical that character was, and have to say her relationship with The Hound was my favourite thing in the whole show.

At the climax of season four, which I believe was the peak of it artistically, the story arc of Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister, aka The Imp, becomes so compellingly good you can’t take your eyes off him. I had already come to the conclusion that his scenes were the best ones, but this went to 11 on the dial. And it gets better thinking back on it too. Which can’t truly be said of where they go with John Snow and Daenarys, who are ostensibly the main draw by this point, as all storylines seem to mirror their journeys on opposite sides of the world; a song of ice and fire, indeed.

Seasons 5 and 6 continued to be great, even though the dramatic peaks were hard to top. What did improve was the big set pieces, as episodes such as Hardhome and Battle of the Bastards upper the bar on huge battles, staged masterfully. There were things happening that I had never seen in a TV show before, both creatively and budget spent. Watching some of the making of documentaries was fascinating in this regard. The props department alone was astonishingly detailed, to Lord of the Rings degrees, properly impressive!

To go into story and scene details here is pointless, and I don’t want to include any more spoilers than I already have, just in case there is anyone else like me, that hasn’t done the whole journey yet. Obviously, there was some controversy in where seasons 7 and especially 8 went with some storylines and characters. I thought it was mostly fine, to be honest, I just went with it. But it did become a little stretched and hurried, as it raced towards its conclusion. It’s hard for me to get a proper impression of how tense and then annoying it would be to wait a long time for a new season and then have it not go where you imagined it would. Not a problem for me, as I blitzed the final 4 seasons in about a week.

As the episode ratings of season 8 on IMDb indicate, folk were not happy. There was an element of anti-climax, to be fair, but what else could it have been, now so many people claim it as their own? The end isn’t perfect, and that may have a lot to do with the fact they stopped following the books, because they hadn’t been written. In all honestly, I didn’t care. It was spectacular and diverting enough to keep my attention, and my investment in the characters not brutally killed off was not teenage enough to take it personally. I do have sympathy for fans that felt their loyalty betrayed, but come on… it’s just a TV show.

Watching the same fictional world for more than 70 actual hours can do things to you brain. In conclusion I would say I loved going there! The good things always outweighed the annoying things, and it is an experience I would recommend to anyone who hasn’t done it. Whatever age you are, it is a must see phenomenon, like The Sopranos – oh wait, I haven’t seen that yet either…
  
Artemis Fowl (2020)
Artemis Fowl (2020)
2020 | Action, Adventure, Family, Fantasy
Disney: "We're making a film of Artemis Fowl!"
Me: *wildly switches from happiness to devastation about the possibilities*

Artemis Fowl's father, Artemis Fowl Snr., has gone missing, the media is portraying him as a criminal and calling for answers. Shocked and confused by what's happening Artemis Jnr. receives a phone call from his father's kidnapper and must hand over an item to secure his release. But he's no idea what the item is, or where, he's about to learn a great deal about fantastical things in a very short space of time and meet an odd selection of new friends.

So... I'm going to break this down into two parts, the first bit will be just about the film and the second will be me ranting about the film in conjunction with the book... *calm thoughts* Let us begin.

From the very beginning I was thrown, the opening in no way seems like a family film and I was wondering if by avoiding reading about it all beforehand that I'd got the wrong idea about what to expect.

With such a good cast backing up our newcomers I had medium hopes for what was going to hit our screens...

Ferdia Shaw takes on the part of Artemis Fowl Jnr., putting aside the comparison between the two versions until later, the performance isn't bad but it's quite forgettable. The same sadly goes for Lara McDonnell as Holly Short. Neither one has much of a presence on screen and I think that's mostly to do with the fact that Artemis and Holly are both rather bland in the whole story.

There's something oddly appealing about Josh Gad as Mulch but I'm not sure that giving him such a large role as narrator worked. It's never really clear why he's given that role and the scene's where we cut back to him talking are given a strange noir look that doesn't match with the rest of the film. Even so, I'm willing to concede that he's my favourite character as he has just enough humour to carry it.

Judi Dench as Commander Root was a little bit of a challenge to see. Root is a gruff but caring character, the trouble come in the fact that the change comes quite unnaturally at times.

One of the main failings is that there are times when the script feels poor, the dialogue is a little forced and doesn't fit with the characters, couple that with a variety of scenes that don't fit with the style of everything else and the fact that some pieces could be removed without really affecting anything around it and I'm left less than inspired by the film.

I did like the look of Haven City, the animation of the overhead view looked really promising. As we got into the city though I couldn't help but think it looked a little cheap and the aesthetic wasn't great. Effects, in general, were not good if I'm honest, particularly when you get to the siege on Fowl manor, when the siege is ending it comes with some chaos that is a perfect example of this coupled with another example of how the story glosses over an explanation of what's happening that could have offered some extra development for characters. (Specifically in this instance, Foley, who was woefully underused. He might not have been as majestic as a Brosnan centaur but he deserved better than the film gave him.)

By the end a lot of things get resolved seemingly by fairy magic because it's not clear how any of it happens. Potentially it's something that I wouldn't have noticed as there's a certain amount of this kind of wrapping up that you can forgive, but by this point I was so frustrated by everything that I was spotting everything.

I'm aware I'm waffling more than I intended so let me "briefly" mention things regarding the book...

The film is, in my opinion, only vaguely based on the book. It has kept ideas and pieces of story while removing and adding characters to varying degrees. Notably Artemis' mother is gone and his father is there instead. Removing mum makes Juliet's inclusion surplus to requirements, I can understand wanting to keep her for a young female character for viewers to identify with, but the role she ends up with is bland and in no way lives up to the book's version. The blandness also extends to her brother, Butler, and that's partly because of the major change they made...

Artemis. He is barely recognisable in comparison. He's a jeans-wearing, surfing, tween? He's much more casual than the original and this fluffier version doesn't have the same edge that book Artemis does. In their revamp they have changed his story and I very quickly felt like it could have been a sequel to the books, Artemis Snr. felt more like the Artemis from the books grown up and he was teaching his son about all the things he learnt. Part of the thing I enjoyed about the books is that Artemis was always an anti-hero of sorts, he was very difficult to like at times because of his actions, film Artemis is a little bit jumbled in this respect as they give him a very clear reason for the things he does so when he tries to show that tough side it doesn't have any impact.

There are a lot of differences, but I will leave that analysis for someone who is much more thorough at scouring the books and film than I am. I'll be keeping my eye out for other reviews with the comparisons in, if you spot any then please leave a link in the comments below.

When it came to scoring this I thought about it on two levels.

As a film from such a big company I was quite shocked by the quality of script and effects, there was a baddie that didn't really participate in anything and there were scenes and characters which weren't needed... and to finish it off in such an obvious set up for a sequel... I was done. I had marked it down for a generous score of 2 stars, that's normally my "I didn't like it but I can see why other people might" score, but I can't quite see what would appeal to people in it if I'm honest.

As an adaptation of the book I was too frustrated by the changes they made to Artemis, they essentially changed the fundamentals of the character and that had a knock-on effect to other characters as well. No one came out unscathed, but even though Mulch was heavily adapted I was glad that some of his humour was still there. Scoring on this basis I would have given it 1 star, but again, that felt generous to me.

In the end I will always score something on my enjoyment, in this instance it seems fair to even out the two scores. They've taken a great book and removed most of its personality, the final product was not exciting to watch and I don't think I could bring myself to watch a sequel.

Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/06/artemis-fowl-movie-review.html
  
Moonfall (2022)
Moonfall (2022)
2022 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
The late ’90s and early 2000s was filled with epic, over-the-top disaster movies focusing on all methods of world-ending cataclysmic events. Alien invasions as seen in Independence Day, set on destroying all humans and snatching our planet’s remaining resources, global warming resulting in floods and freezing temperatures, even threats of asteroids crashing into the earth. While many of these movies were ridiculous and epic at times, they all focused on a singular threat facing humankind and a group of ordinary (yet somehow extraordinary) people to save the planet and ourselves. Moonfall attempts to take another stab at the formula that made these movies famous (even infamous) resulting in some mixed and head-scratching results.

Moonfall, directed by Roland Emmerich, stars Halle Berry and Patrick Wilson as a pair of NASA astronauts that are attacked by a strange mechanical swarm while performing a routine satellite repair mission from the space shuttle Endeavor in the mid-1990s. The attack resulted in the death of one of the crew members and severely damaged the shuttle. Brian Harper (Wilson) and Jo Fowler (Berry) successfully return the shuttle to earth only to see Harper take the fall for the death of his crewman and the fall guy for a coverup to prevent the citizens of earth from truly understanding what they encountered.

Fast forward to current day and a “crazy” conspiracy theorist K.C Houseman, believing the moon to be a megastructure built by aliens, discovers that the moon’s orbit is rapidly eroding. He attempts to reach out to NASA and after several unsuccessful attempts releases his findings via social media. The top minds at NASA confirm what has been identified and estimate that they have only three weeks to execute a plan to prevent the moon from crashing into the earth destroying everything and everyone. The race for the survival of the planet is quickly on which will focus on not only the NASA “team”, but each of their family members.

Let me get this out of the way first, I personally loved many of Roland Emmerich’s wildly outlandish films. I thought Independence Day was fantastic, and even though many found The Day After Tomorrow a bit to preachy and ridiculous, I still found it entertaining for what it was. So, I was excited going into Moonfall. I was ready for a fun movie that I felt would be a mindless, fun adventure which was something I had really missed in many of the movies that had come out over the past year or two. Unfortunately, my aspirations (and even the low bar I had set my expectations for) would be quickly dashed.

Moonfall is a movie that struggles throughout to find an identity. I found myself instantly comparing several of Emmerich’s films during its roughly two-hour run time. At times its reminiscent of Independence Day, with its alien destruction of earth storyline, and then quickly jumps to a disaster film about the moon crashing into the earth. It’s as though Emmerich took pages of several of his previous films and cobbled them together into some sort of Frankenstein’s monster. There are so many plots and subplots going on that you never truly know what the main threat is. It touches on everything from the birth of humanity to the overly aggressive military, to the dumbing down of NASA all at the same time. With the exception of our heroes (and of course their entire families, because why not), everyone else is just resigned to the fact that nothing can be done. Riots of course breakout, the military is quick to decide to nuke the moon is somehow going to save the planet, and no level of crazy plan is off the table.

I’m happy to forgive an outrageous plot if the actors are able to pull it off with some semblance of believability. I know none of the actions have any real-world chance of success, and I can forgive plot holes for the sake of entertainment. Unfortunately, the acting is where Moonfall really lets the audience down. Each character is portrayed in a completely over-the-top fashion, it reminded me of watching a movie that is intentionally attempting to spoof another movie. The emotions are not believable, and the lines being delivered are literally derived from popular lines of other movies. Bonus points if you can identify which movie they are from as the film progresses. The saddest part is, this movie is trying to take itself seriously, it’s not intentionally being campy, for the sake of being campy. I think the character portrayals could have been forgiven if that was the case, but it’s clearly not. It’s actually a distraction when the story of a film is already struggling to deliver.

The movie effects go from truly spectacular, to overly CGI-infused. Ironically the space shots, which you think would be the hardest to pull off are some of its best, yet the vehicle driving scenes through the snow-covered townscape are some of the worst. It’s almost as though they spent so much of their budget on the space scenes that they had no money for the earth shots, which would be fine if they didn’t literally look so bad. It’s jarring going from one area to another and makes for a very inconsistent experience the entire time.

I believe one of the biggest tragedies of the film however is the absolutely blatant product placement. Yes, I understand that product placement has sadly been a staple in the film industry since the dawn of time. Yes, I understand that when someone is using a MacBook on-screen or riding a Peloton, it’s there for a reason. Moonfall however takes this to a Hallmark movie level. If you watch a Hallmark movie sponsored by Folgers for example, there will be clear shots of the Folgers coffee on the counter, with the cast explaining how much they love Folgers’s coffee, Moonfall utilizes this very trope. Kaspersky Anti-Virus is plastered on everything, even the Space Shuttle is protected with Kaspersky Anti-virus (which some might argue has other implications, but I won’t go there), and while avoiding looters driving through the snow-packed roads, do we really need the character to explain the need for the off-road settings on their Lexus? Talking about it is one thing, but do we really need to see the dial up-close and personal? It quickly takes you from the scene to a Lexus Christmas commercial and back again.

Sadly, Moonfall is a very disappointing film. If it were released in 1998 maybe it would be a super hit and I’d feel differently about it, but the industry has moved on since then. I had gone in knowing the film wouldn’t be realistic, but I was hoping it would at least be a nice escape from what is going on in the world today. As I have stated before, I’m a huge fan of Emmerich’s films, and while Moonfall may not be his absolute worst, it is one that will quickly be forgotten. I don’t even know if it’s one I’d revisit if it premiered on HBO or Showtime. As excited as I was, I just wouldn’t be able to recommend it.
  
<b><i>"What a stupid book."</i></b>

That was my initial thought after turning the final page of <b>Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later</b>.

As a pre-teen, I was addicted to the <u>Sweet Valley High</u> series, and then later, the <u>Sweet Valley University</u> series as well. Before that even, I had read some of the Twins and Kids series, so when I heard this was coming out last year, I just knew I had to read it. I was excited beyond compare and went into full geek-out mode. Where are the perfect size-six Wakefield twins, and their friends and enemies, now? What are their occupations? Who are they dating or who'd they marry? And my questions kept going on and on. What has inspired this obsession? It's not like these books were high literature, but somehow they became ingrained into my life to this very day and I cannot help but remember SVH fondly.

It is nearly impossible to review the story within the covers without spoilers, but I am going to try my darnedest. Some cursing may or may not be involved.

<b>Short synopsis</b> (snarky comments in parentheses ;P):
Jessica has betrayed Elizabeth. <i>(Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she did. Anyone who's read the books could make an accurate guess.)</i> The Ultimate Betrayal. <i>(Oooooh!)</i> Elizabeth flees to New York. Elizabeth is a slightly sympathetic bitter victim/martyr who craves revenge throughout the book. Jessica is supposed to be a sympathetic betrayer/victim who's heartsick at destroying her sister. <i>(I don't buy it.)</i> Tons of reminiscing flashbacks ensue throughout the book, sometimes the same ones told by different characters, and take up about half of it, so there's barely any plot. Book ends with a thirteen-page <i>Where Are They Now?</i>-type epilogue that tells old fans what has happened to many major supporting characters from the original high school series. <i>(Apparently no one is allowed to be happy. And anyone you may have originally liked from SVH has turned into a big dick. WTF?)</i>

I expected to enjoy this as the usual over-the-top, soap opera stories I remember, but revamped a bit. Sadly, I was left feeling underwhelmed, disappointed, annoyed, and rather pissed off. For one thing, I could not buy the main betrayal -- <spoiler>Jessica and Todd?! In love!!?? Really? In what surreal dimension does that make any kind of sense? This broke the book for me. How can I believe anything else if this doesn't ring true. A passionate affair, sure. A one-night stand, why not? But actual 'til death do us part nonsense? Bull. Not when it's almost always been the Elizabeth and Todd, "made-for-each-other" type of thing. I actually wouldn't have minded if E & T hadn't ended up together, but for Todd to be with Jessica, that's just madness, plain and simple.</spoiler> -- it was just so unbelievable. And I mean that in a Sweet Valley way, which we all know is not steeped in any form of actual reality, so my standards are quite low and I expect the extraordinary and overwrought. So from this point on, which is within the first two chapters, I struggled, but somehow managed to read on. I admit, I gagged more than few times throughout the book. Who wouldn't when faced with passages such as this one,
<blockquote>"And what faces they were.

Gorgeous. Absolutely amazing. The kind you couldn't stop looking at. Their eyes were shades of aqua that danced in the light like shards of precious stones, oval and fringed with thick, light brown lashes long enough to cast a shadow on their cheeks. Their silky blond hair, the cascading kind, fell just below their shoulders. And to complete the perfection, their rosy lips looked as if they were penciled on. There wasn't a thing wrong with their figures, either. It was if billions of possibilities all fell together perfectly.

Twice."
-page 9/10</blockquote>
I hope you managed to hold onto your last meal. I barely did. I also had to endure "his beloved," "his love," and other similar nauseating descriptions.

This is not the PG-rated books from the past, the word "orgasm" is actually used. So is the F-bomb and other expletives. *gasp* Seriously, it does push the boundaries more than the innocent SVH series, but it's not very shocking by today's standards. Except that it does involve the Wakefield Twins, which was strange at first. Of course, current trends had to pop up, like Twitter and Facebook, Justin Timberlake and Beyonce, which always makes a book better and doesn't date it in the least. (That was heavy sarcasm in case you weren't sure.) The book does refer to some incidents and people from the SVU series, but only certain elements, otherwise it's mainly a continuation of high school and no one from the university days actually appears in the book.

Neither Elizabeth nor Jessica felt true to form, especially Jessica, and in fact, none of the characters, whether seen or just talked about, were right. Sure, some people change and some don't, but not a one was recognizable. Where did these strangers with the same names come from? Why couldn't there have been some semblance of the original shining through? Again, I have a hard time with the basis of the book, so that has severely colored my view of the entire thing, but as it stands, it was a complete waste of a good idea. I'd be willing to bet that any fan of SVH could come up with something a million times better than this dreck. Wasn't there an original ghostwriter available? You know, someone who might actually know the world and characters, and have the skill to develop them both in a believable manner?

The writing is rather clunky and purple-ly, often managing both at the same time. Redundancy abounds, editing mistakes, including wrong names and inconsistencies to previous events in SVH-iverse, and lots of use of the words "like" and "so", more-so in Jessica's narrative than anywhere else, which was really, really, so, like, irritating. Like, really. Ms. Pascal must have had a thesaurus at the ready, because there were big words awkwardly thrown into the narrative. While I appreciate authors utilizing lesser known or used words, some just don't blend well with the rest of the text and they pop-out unflatteringly. The structure needed fine-tuning and tenses were oddly used to differentiate the flashbacks from present day.

To put it succinctly, the writing isn't great and neither is the storyline, what there is of it. This was a bizarre read even by Sweet Valley standards and an insult to fans. Seriously, does Francine Pascal hate this universe and its readers? I think I'll stick to the <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/series/58723-sweet-valley-high">Sweet Valley High</a> series and make up my own stories about what happened afterward.

Slightly spoiler-ish lesson learned from this book:
<spoiler>Betrayal is okay as long as it's "Twu Luv."</spoiler>

Second lesson learned:
Everything always turns up fucking sunshine and roses and unicorns and lollipops for the worst person (or people) in the end.

I'd like to leave you with another winning description,
<blockquote>"There were no tears, but her mouth was twisted in a silent sob."
-page 17</blockquote>

<u>A thought a few hours after having finished this book:</u>
Maybe another "sequel" will eventually come out and it'll begin with Elizabeth waking up from the nightmare that is this book and we'll get the real ten years later story. Ahh, sweet dreams.

<u>Update: April 26, 2011:</u>
Oh yes, always good to blame the fans/readers for not liking their terrible book. By pointing out minor, petty reasons, I might add. <b>Warning:</b> book spoilers in article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/business/media/17sweet.html?_r=1
  
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Action (2 more)
Performances
VFX
Terminator 3?
I need your clothes, your Re-boot and your motorcycle.

That’s the second l pun I’ve made out of that infamous terminator 2 line this week and I feel dirty because of it;
Dirty, much like how I imagine the Terminator franchise feels after Genisys (or however they spelt it)
 Terminator:Dark Fate however is billed as a follow up to Terminator & T2;
The former an 80’s classic that sparked a franchise & its sequel that has easily landed itself as one of the best sequels of all time.
So you probably know that this one is ditching all those other terminator films that came in the couple of decades that came between & aims to be the definitive third instalment of franchise (for the third time after Rise Against The Machines & Gen-I-size also promised to do the same) and it’s actually succeeds somewhat, but maybe not in the way a lot of die-hards will want it to.

It’s the “Day After Judgement Day” and Dark Fate opens strong; using footage of Sarah Connor’s crazed speech of Judgement day & machines whilst being interviewed by doctors from T2.
you’ll immediately appreciate Linda Hamilton’s presence one again & from the first scene that follows it’s immediately clear that the previous sequels were missing her presence on screen.
We get a very brief tease of that 80’s style future of skulls on beaches and red & blue lasers that you’ve now seen in 6 films before it but This film doesn’t mess about, Judgement Day didn’t Happen, Sarah, John & The T-800 stopped it in terminator 2 and this film wants you to know that.

You see this film takes a huge risk that may divide fans, but imo it’s a risk that needed to be taken;
it’s no longer about John Connor, not anymore.
We’re introduced to Dani Ramos (Natalia Reyes) & her brother Diego (Diego Boneta) as factory workers facing replacement my machines (see what they did there, I’ll forgive it though as it gets good).
Next up is the rather brutal and badass introduction to the new Kyle Reese in the form of McKenzie Davis’s Grace & then a similar although ironically more Graceful introduction to the new Terminator (Gabriel Luna) both coming back in time via the iconic time bubble effect of series has had since 1984.
And he’s The most polite & possibly menacing Terminator since the T-1000…
Yes I said polite but I’ll get back to that later.
This new ‘black metal’ terminator or “Rev-9” as its referred to is a sort of 2 for 1 deal Terminator, like a T-800 and a T-1000 at the same time, able to split up and act independently as liquid and skeleton simultaneously.
Unlike previous attempts though this terminator is genuinely threatening, he isn’t messing around and finds his new target Dani within minutes.
He’s lightening fast, intelligent and creepy.
The VFX on him thankfully holds up as well and look fantastic other than a few shoddy cgi jumps that can be forgiven.

Within minutes we’re into an explosive highway car chase and the action rarely lets up after.
Genuinely… theres a Mexican border assault, a US detention pen riot, a fight on fucking C5-M plane (it’s big) and then some.
The action in this film Is relentless, gripping and satisfying as fuck.
But story itself, is Terminator 1984, again…
New familiar threat from the future under a different name and that’s all that’s really new at its core.
That’s because Terminator Dark Fate actually serves as a Star Wars: The Force Awakens style Reboot.

T2’s Judgement Day didn’t happen, Skynet didn’t happen, Terminators as we know and love didn’t happen…
But eventually another A.I does and forces our incredibly toned soldier & the black-metal Rev-9 to Time Travel back to our present day.

Despite the opening chase echoing T2 this film matches Terminator 1 in tone entirely,
Everything is very desperate and our character are almost constantly on the run. If anything this is a beat for beat remake that also happens to be a sequel by bringing along the old cast (No J.J Abrams was not involved.

The cast are fantastic, every single member, this film is stollen by McKenzie Davis and Natalia Reyes, they own their roles.
Gabriel Luna as mentioned before is fantastically creepy, this terminator has one mission and won’t waste time killing innocent bystanders, he’s even well mannered! Which just adds to the creep factor.
And don’t worry, his eye-rolling one liner of “my whole body is a weapon” from the trailer is thankfully immediately shut down by an extra in the full scene.
As a re-boot these cast need to be the ones you care about. Wether you like it or not this is a passing of the torch from old to new and luckily They deliver.
I cared about them more than I did about Sarah Connor!
Who Now bitter as fuck, as ruthless as ever and making it known that she had nothing in life other than a vengeance for Terminators and a fear of a Judgement Day she’s actually prevented.
Linda Hamilton is also great as expected. Her character being even more cold, cynical and sarcastic than ever and if you think about that’s how it should be. Her presence is essential though and makes it feel like a sequel to terminator 2.

The comedy of T2 is missing until we’re eventually re-introduced to Arnie’s Terminator.
 I genuinely found him hilarious, and his humour it not forced, he’s the most dead-Pan he’s ever been and of course you know that Sarah Connor isn’t going to trust this weirdly humorous rust-bucket.
But his story is quite a hard one to swallow, without spoiling we get an evolution of his character, one that’s definitely an interesting take, one that also create its own Jokes out it. But it’s doesn’t quite land. It’s too much.
That having been said Arnie is also absolutely fantastic with what he’s been given but unfortunately I didn’t care for him as much as I wanted to.

You’ll have questions multiple times throughout this film but thankfully our characters are intelligent enough to ask them before too long whilst the action is unfolding.
The film never hangs around too much and suffers a little for it, the story comes off as very little more than a remake and passing of the torch.
We get the sorry of this new threatening 2042 future via flashbacks (or is it flash forwards? time travel) and it’s grittier than we’re used to.
More in vein of Salvations dusty, military future than the synth wave metal and blue lasers, which is a shame but ultimately makes sense and enforces the idea that the future we saw in T1 & T2 was actually prevented by John & Sarah back in T2.
It’s risky but it’s the deviation from the formulae of the past attempts at a new Terminator that the franchise needs.

Luckily the risks set up also give us an appropriately emotional if predictable ending. There’s just not enough of the touching character development the the first two films had.
The film succeeded in making me care about the new characters but I left feeling like I didn’t get enough despite a bit of fleshing out via flashbacks that unfold as the film progressed.

Tim Miller (Deadpool) has directed one hell of an action film, Dark Fate is a sequel that wipes the slate clean for a future of new terminator films and just about succeeds buy the skin of it’s endo-skeleton teeth.
It’s not the best, it’s essentially the first film again with new and old cast but it’s good enough for a new series to blossom off it and thrill ride for the most part.

There are few questions left for the sequel and three-quel that I know are already planned (what the fuck does Rev-9 actually stand for anyway?) but that’s understandable, I just hope we get that sequel and that it’s as good or even better because this is the only terminator film I cared about since terminator 2.

The box office will ultimately be the decider and I can already hear the keyboard warriors that haven’t even seen the movie panning it on twitter but I for one, really enjoyed Terminator: Dark Fate.

Photo courtesy of Skydance & Paramount VIa talent house media.

7/10